#lms if you read it and feel cofortable doing so

[preternatural-aura]

just a personal rant bout my thyroid issues and some other stuff, its really long tho..

well, the tests they ran to check for antibodies for grave’s disease and hashimotos came back in the normal range (a couple were on the cusp), I tried taking my adhd medication again (i had to stop because it exacerbated symptoms to the point of making me sick) and it started out awful, I took a xanax (plus the beta blockers ive been taking to manage symptoms) and im feeling better (normally around 2pm id be feeling the worst), so ill try taking it again tomorrow (and maybe take a xanax), the endocrinologist will probably want to recheck my t4 and tsh, i have been feeling like something might be pressing on my throat so they might do another ultrasound, of course my endocrinologist appointment isnt for another 2 and half weeks, ill keep taking my adhd meds through until finals are done (so a week) and if it still makes me feel awful then ill stop them, if the side effects are lessening, then ill keep taking them, the side effects go away after like a week normally, i cant afford to lose anymore weight so im gonna be checking that, its hard to say how much weight ive lost because i havent been checking it lately, and at the doctor they always weigh me with my clothes and shoes on plus the stuff in my pockets, i weighed 115lbs this morning, ill check again in the evening after i eat, which would be when i weigh the most, or right now, but i dont want to take my shoes and jeans off, oh i also used to wear a binder to the doctor and i dont do that anymore obviously and binders are kinda heavy, there is a chance this whole thyroid thing is going away, they said that was a possibility, but im afraid that tests will come back normal while i still have symptoms, i hope this isnt some weird and rare disease, but my mom wouldnt let it go untreated if it is, we would just try to find a specialist or something, first, of course, the endocrinologist will probs recheck my t4 and tsh and maybe the ab tests and do another ultra sound, and if all that stuff is still inconclusive well do that radioactive iodine imaging test

and ive got an appoitment with that physicians assistant about my asthma and to remove my mole, and the thing about my asthma is that i need to excersize, but i have a hard time doing that because executive dysfunctioning and time and also i have excersize induced asthma and i cant really use rescue inhalers because they make me feel fucking awful, i carry it around but i never use it unless i absolutely have to, like if i didnt i would have to go to the hospital, and i hadnt used one for years, so unless i cant breathe and/or im wheezing uncontrollably then i wont use it, i hate these heart palpitations, my heart rate isnt 120 or higher anymore, even when i was having palpitations earlier, my mom said my heart rate was around 85, which is super nice, the stimulant did make my hands get really cold, because i already have poor circulation to my hands and feet, but see stimulants are vaso-constrictors, meaning they constrict blood veins, which makes my already poor circulation even worse, on the bright side, i got around 8 hours of sleep the past two nights, which is super awesome because ive chronically been getting around 6-7 hours, and i really need 9-10 hours, so while it hasnt been this horrible insomnia, it has been chronically getting not quite enough sleep which just leaves me tired all day everyday, and i try not to compare myself to other people, but its hard in college when everyone talks about how they pull all nighters and shit, because ive had insomnia where i get fewer than 3 or 4 hours of sleep because i CANT sleep and it feels awful, i run on adrenaline the next day but it ends up just being so bad, so im trying to remember that only getting 6-7 hours is still bad, especially because im an adolescent and need lots of sleep and cant afford to lose a bunch of sleep