#lor sucked out my brain and replaced it with spaghetti noodles

[hominginstinct]

Ayo I read your essay and I hope you don't mind addition but IMO, I dont think Phillip and Roland are supposed to be parallel or Roland seeing himself in Phillip. Phillip's entire theme seems to just be him accepting his sorrow and sadness and act upon said sadness, this is reflected even in his corrupted Distortion form where Argalia noted that "poor thing, he just wants to cry" rather than a burning anger like with Xiao or Roland. Arguably the part of embracing sorrow could stretch to Roland since that man also has that things going on but ultimately they went on a complete different direction as character for me to feel said parallel imo which maybe for the best

And I think Roland kinda just generally allergic to the general mindset of "I sacrifice other people/myself for the better good" in general which said mindset is spoon fed to us before the Wedge Office reception which is understandable since the entire working of the Wings and the City is also just sacrificing people for humanity advancement which he himself loathes and has been hint to even be a victim of it one or few time so it would explain why he would not take well to Phillip without having to feel related to him honestly

yeah no i totally appreciate the addition! i don't necessarily disagree with your points. unlike xiao or yan, philip doesn't directly parallel roland or angela. but i do think he's still representative of roland, especially because he's part of the ensemble.

the rest of the post is under a read more because this one's even longer (and also quotes a few passages). also i'm gonna refrain from talking about the songs because that would turn into an entire essay of its own. warning for endgame spoilers under the cut.

the members of the ensemble all represent some aspect of roland (and the trauma of the city in general): deception (pluto), alienation (elena), a loss of control (jae-heon), conformity (eileen), his "that's how the world works" attitude (tanya), and so on. the sephirot represent an opposing point of view on the beliefs held by the ensemble members.

philip himself is juxtaposed against malkuth, who feels that she's responsible for, well, everything. believing that she would be helping carmen and the experiments, she only accelerated the lab's demise. being resurrected in lobotomy corporation makes her feel like she has to atone for her sins, but that only leads to covering up her guilt by adapting a "weakness is death" mentality. after her meltdown, malkuth finds the will to face her past, to see her mistakes for what they are and learn from them. meanwhile, what philip wants is to live in a world where he wouldn't feel desire or loss. a world without greed, where he wouldn't be hurt in the pursuit of happiness. a world without history, where he wouldn't have to confront his past or his mistakes.

in general, philip is set up as a foil to xiao. they both deal with very similar topics, like love, survivor's guilt, and greed/loss, but their situations end very differently. roland does directly resemble xiao, and his connection to philip is a lot more abstract (his agony is abstract and enormous, after all). i don't think philip is meant to really parallel roland in his entirety, but to instead represent roland's history and future, the conflict inside him, his choices.

at the end, his despair and greed could consume and distort him entirely, forever cutting off his potential for change. once he kills angela in his bad ending, he's just an empty husk with a gaping void -- there's nothing left of him but his sorrow. alternatively, he could let go of his grudges and make the choice he wants to, selfishly "abandoning" angelica so that he can move forward, like xiao did.

with regards to wedge office, i do agree that he's probably talking about the city, rather than thinking about his own motivations. however, i also feel that the distinction doesn't necessarily matter. from the wedge office pre-battle cutscene:

Roland: Few things are as dangerous and nasty as selfishness in the guise of “for the sake of someone else”…

Angela: I think I know what you mean. The determination to work for the good of others can be a dreadful and loathsome weapon.

Angela: Especially if one strongly believes that the justice they’re pursuing is worth sacrificing for…

Angela: They’re blinded by self-righteousness, and have no regards for their surroundings. They don’t care what happens to others.

Angela: They justify themselves for pressing forward pursuing their justice, crushing everything in their way…

Roland: Wow… This might be the first time we understood each other for real. I’m touched, man.

angela is definitely talking about ayin here, but ayin's cruelty is all she's ever known. she doesn't know how to live without hurting and taking things from others. roland is in pretty much the exact same situation in relation to the city. he despises the city and the cruelty it runs on, but he doesn't know anything else. that's the exact reason the ensemble exists in the first place; the city is structured to inflict trauma on its inhabitants, and they're forced to inflict trauma on others to survive.

roland is dangerous, nasty, and selfish, all in the name of someone else. up to this point, he's been making the excuse that he's living for someone else, telling himself that he's getting revenge for angelica's sake. he turns a blind eye towards his own feelings and mistakes, and tells himself that he's nothing like philip -- that's that, and this is this, after all. ironically, that only makes him more like philip.

i don't think he consciously recognizes philip as being anything like him. i do think that his hatred for himself and his hatred for the city are essentially the same thing. what philip's going through reminds him of his own guilt and trauma, of the ugliness of the city -- the same ugliness that festers within himself.

furthermore, angela knowing exactly what he's talking about, roland remarking that they see eye-to-eye for once... that one feels a lot different after roland's speech after the black silence fight:

Roland: A dimwitted egoist whose sight is limited by their own selfishness… A proper fool chasing after immediate results…

Roland: That’s what you are. And who I am…

Roland: The same logic that dictates us was bound to be our downfall one day…

Roland: If we really cared for ourselves… Neither of us should have made this choice.

Roland: It won’t last long that way… Being selfish isn’t about keeping an eye on yourself and nothing else.

Roland: We had to take a good look at the things around us and engrave them in our hearts.

Roland: Everything is interlinked, after all…

and sorry for pulling out philip's ensemble page again, but i do think that it beautifully describes the true ending, for both roland and angela.

Even the failures and misery of the past were all part of the voyage leading up to this moment, so I'm thankful that I managed to achieve something for once. I might have drowned in my own tears and sorrow back then, but ultimately, I'm grateful for the choice I made… and all the things in the world.

all this has really just been a messy and long-winded way of saying: that's this, and this is that. but hey, this game's all about the journey, right? hopefully this was an interesting read at least, haha.