#lskdfjsldkfj this might be a little dumb but play in the space with me

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

“theme park employees...one wears a stupid mascot suit and the other is crushing hard” dealer’s choice on who I just really like this idea <3

From this prompt list! (still accepting!)

Taako’s had a lot of shitty jobs. A roller-skating server, receptionist at a gym for the most obnoxious gym rats, teacher’s aide for a youth gymnastics class, and a mall elf over Candlenights have been some of his most beloathed gigs. But when Lup sang the praises of her current job and begged him to apply, he figured it couldn’t be that bad.

He really should stop begging the universe to prove him wrong.

The Adventure Zone is, strictly speaking, your average amusement park; it’s full of overpriced, under-seasoned food, sodas the size of your head, thundering rollercoasters that will ensure both of those items make a reappearance on the person next to you, and shitty souvenirs being sold by unenthused workers in uncomfortable polos and khakis. Truly the happiest place on earth.

All of that is shit Taako can and has handled before. But Taako’s bad luck can never let him be. It wasn’t until after he was hired and doing his paperwork that he got the slightest inkling the job could be more than he signed up for.

“Now, son, you’re not claustrophobic, are you?”

--

“Shoulda just lied and said I was claustrophobic,” Taako grumbles to himself as he pulls on the scratchy jumpsuit. He stands in front of the mirror in the staff room and frowns at his reflection. He swears that management had to get the most pathetic looking lion costume in all of existence. It’s simultaneously cartoony and bloated and a bit too realistic. The head is so much worse, though. He shoots it a murderous glare as it sits on a table and watches him with soulless, plastic eyes.

His standoff with his new identity is cut short by the hinges on the staff room door protesting loudly.

“Afternoon, Taako!” Davenport, his manager says brightly. Taako sends him a dead-eyed look before getting a glimpse of perhaps the most gorgeous man Taako has ever seen. Like, Taako’s heard people describe seeing their partner for the first time, saying that the rest of the world just falls away and it’s like angels are singing and he’s always thought it was bullshit. But right now, all Taako can attend to is this handsome dude with a bright smile and an even brighter polo. He thinks he might even hear little bursts of harp music.

“Taako, did you just hear a single word I just said?” Davenport asks, snapping him out of his stupor.

“Uh. No,” He says, feeling his face heat up. Handsome absolutely caught him staring.

Davenport sighs a little, probably already regretting taking Lup’s endorsement of Taako. “This is Kravitz. He’s going to be your handler.”

“My handler?” The last thing Taako needs is someone cramping his style, no matter how handsome.

“Host is probably the better term. Basically I’m here to make sure toddlers don’t yank on your tail and to keep angry parents from literally ripping your head off,” Kravitz says easily, smile still fixed on his face.

Oh god, Taako’s gotta keep himself from mentally planning a wedding. Or mentally jumping his bones. Or both, actually.

“Cool.” Taako reaches over and grabs the head off the table. “Let’s get this show on the road, then.”

--

“God, I cannot believe that kid started crying, I actually feel kinda bad,” Taako whispers to Kravitz as they both wave at a family leaving the area.

“I have a feeling that’s gonna be happening a lot. You don’t exactly have the most welcoming face.”

Taako scoffs melodramatically. “Now, you can’t see my face right now but just know I’m giving you such a bitchy look. Are you saying I’m ugly, Kravitz?”

Kravitz ducks his head. “No! You know what I meant, that lion’s head is an affront to god. Didn’t take you for the type to fish for compliments, Taako.”

“You’ll find that I don’t need to fish for them. People hand them to me constantly.” Flirting while wearing a rejected Lion King Jr. costume isn’t exactly something Taako has experience with but he’s all for trying new things.

“Hmm. Guess we’ll see if that holds true. But between you and me, you’ve already got some points docked.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean your ugly as sin fursona here is not doing you any favors,” Kravitz says airily.

Taako gently smacks Kravitz on the shoulder with his humorously oversized paw. “Oh my god, I’m not a furry! This is not my fursona! I’m getting paid for this!”

“The furry doth protest too much, methinks.”

“I hate you,” Taako lies. He very much does not hate Kravitz.

He’s determined to get something good from this shitty job.