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theheirwrites · 7 years

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Do you accept Volly as your lord and savior?

how dare you??? and right after the turkeys died for our sins, too!

#lucreziademedici #nai #w h y

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kingsleyshacklebolt · 7 years

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🍩 + kingsleyshacklebolt :')

oooo she threw it back AT ME ok ok i see u

[ suicide mention ]

well firstly, a bitch is still here!!!!! idk how i’m still alive, deadass thought i was gonna die like THREE TIMES this year. not the most amount of times but idk?? i deadass saw the light comin like three times, but a BITCH IS STILL HERE. i haven’t had a pain free day, my pain got so bad i didn’t sleep for three days, i went to the hospital and they shot me up with so many drugs i finally fell asleep but i was in withdrawal from the drugs FOR DAYS i was shaking so bad i couldn’t even??? type on my phone or talk??? like i truly believe that there has to be a reason i’m still fucking alive because i really should’ve died and this year really has tested my perseverance to the point of … even when i’m deeply suicidal or having some sort of chronic illness episode … there’s this survival instinct and intrisic mental wall of belief that i’m still alive for a reason and that me dying is just not gonna happen even when i spend weeks in bed because of pain. idk how but i know i have to still be alive for a reason????

[ sexual assault, abuse, mention ]

over the past few years, i’ve gone through shit where it’s made me feel a lot more cowardly? if that makes sense? whether it’s being beaten down by doctors, dealing with abuse, etc, i’ve run away from and avoided a lot. in august i confronted the person ( who is my cousin ) who sexually assaulted me. i stoof up for myself because he’s been harassing me for 6 years, spreading rumors about me to my family that i hate black people because i won’t respond to him. telling all my family members and i mean ALL that i won’t talk to him. literally …. like … he wouldn’t stop. i had family members messaging me about it. i publicly stood up to him, told him i would tell EVERYONE in the family what he did and he backed off after trying to lie and act like he didn’t know. after that confrontation, i could feel myself get this voice i’ve always had back? i used to be much more refined in the way i spoke and communicated, and i’m getting that back too, but even though currently my voice is a little jagged and still?? idk?? finding itself again, i have it back. the week i did that was a really horrible week in general ( i had to face a judge who was obviously racist and fatphobic ), i had to end a relationship/friendship because the person just was not treating me well at all, they were my best friend someone i considered a soulmate of mine ( bc u can have a lot of soulmates lbr ), and it was causing me such mental distress that all my mental illnesses just got WORSE. so, idk, that week was a lot of changes and just hard but i got through it and i found my voice of courage again.

[ TRIGGERS OVER ]

i’ve tried my hardest. i’ve been treated really badly by a lot of people this year, mostly my doctors, but i’ve really TRIED. i’ve tried to identify who and who isn’t worth my time, i’ve tried to do everything my doctors have asked me to do and have. i’ve done EVERYTHING in my power to try to feel better. i’ve accepted that w/ having the brain disease i have and with the chronic pain i have, that it won’t be perfect, that i have limitations but as long as i TRY, it’s not my fault that any of this has happened. it’s really hard knowing that some of my mental illness symptoms are caused by something i have no control over, but i’m so lucky that i don’t ever try to justify anything shitty i do bc of it? because theyre still my actions. ive been able to identify my limits and feel less guilty about being open and honest about them. i also have some fantastic friends so i must be doing something right as a person to be able to have kept them?

throughout everything i’ve gone through, i’ve stayed an overly understanding person. i don’t consider it bad or a weakness, bc i’m also very persnickety ( it’s part of my ocd and anxiety, i can become a real particular ASSHOLE ), so when i’m grounded and in the Right Place, it balances out and i’m just really understanding. i don’t like saying shit like this, but through being sick the last 7 years, if i’ve gained anything, it’s greater understanding and being even more understanding than i’ve ever been in my life.

#under the cut cause its dealing with some heavy shit #all of which i tagged!!!#nai #lucreziademedici #mailbox #save

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severusnape · 7 years

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Pass the happy! 💛 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications😘

zabiniwritcs said: 5 hoursPass the happy! 💛 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications😘

i’m only doing 5 things, not 10

1. Being home for winter break with my family2. Period dramas3. Volly squad4. Porgs5. Theatre

#rhiannon talks #lucreziademedici

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dochollliday · 7 years

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Do you accept Volly as your lord and savior?

volly is life, volly is love.

#is this even a question nai #lucreziademedici

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jamesqotter · 7 years

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