#luvrxsmut

[luvrxbunny]

sweet

pairing: bf!Eddie Munson x f!reader

summary: Eddie is trying to see what it takes for you to ask him for help.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, praise kink, dry humping, cum in pants (lmk if i forgot anything)

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i blacked out after two sentences i have no clue where the rest came from. apparently i was too horny to give a proper ending?

Eddie can see your hyper-focus on your hands, his heart is melting at the way you’re trying so hard to follow what he showed you even though he knows you can’t focus when you’re high. 

It’s 10:37 pm, you and Eddie are high and he’s been trying to teach you the chords to his new song for 20 minutes now. He’s chuckling quietly as your fingers fumble over the strings again, drawing a frustrated whine from your mouth. 

“Aww, It’s okay, baby. You’re doing much better than you were earlier! You’re actually picking this up way faster than I thought you would.” Eddie is genuine when he says it but it’s your reaction that changes that.. that changes his intentions. He watches your face as he praises you, he watches your eyes glaze over, and your lips part gently as a soft smile spreads over your face. 

“Th- Thank you, Eddie. That’s so nice of you, thank you.” You sound so out of it. It shocks Eddie for a moment but makes perfect sense. He thinks of all the time you ask him for help with your studies, even though he knows you know the material. He thinks of all the time he cheers for you after getting the right answer, how he praises you and calls you his smart girl. He thinks of all the times you bake for him, asking for him to taste test them even though you’ve made the recipe a million times, he thinks about his exaggerated moans of delight, how he would get on his knees and beg you to make him a batch. 

He thinks about times exactly like this one, when he’s playing his guitar for you and you beg him to teach you. He thinks about how quickly you pick them up and how you beam at him when you finally get it. The only difference now is that you’re higher than he’s ever seen you. 

You wanted to celebrate for midterms so Eddie rolled you a blunt instead of his usual joints. Of course, his little lightweight got high out of her mind. You got so soft and cuddly that he could’ve never denied you when you asked him real nice to teach you the new chords. 

He comes out of his thoughts just in time for him to hear you nail the part you’ve been struggling with, perfectly. His blood rushes to his cock when he notices the way you look up at him, expectantly, almost… desperately. “Such a good job, baby.” It comes out more sultry than he meant it to but he’s never been able to hide his emotions with you. 

He watches your eyebrows, twitch in confusion but you don’t break his gaze. You’re waiting for more. He has to take a deep breath as his sensitive tip presses against the zipper of his jeans. His hands are twitching at his sides as he gets up, leaving his desk and making his way to where you sit on his bed. “That was amazing, honey. You’re better than I am, you’re perfect.”

He watches your thighs tense, trying to rub together as your hips lift to press you against his guitar as you get a faraway look in your eyes. You’re looking right at him as you grind yourself into his guitar, he doesn’t think you even realize you’re doing it. He lays down next to you, watching your bottom lip tuck under your teeth as you shake your head with a small smile. “No, not better than you, Eds. I could never beat the best, baby.” 

Eddie has to actively bite back a moan at the pet name, he feels like he’s gonna fucking pass out as all his blood rushes south. He knows you’re trying, he knows you’re trying to turn him on, asking him to make you feel good without actually saying the words. 

He’s told you time and time again how hot your pet names get him, he knows it’s silly but he cannot help it. Every time you speak to him with any ounce of sweetness he’s fattening up in his jeans. “But you’re perfect then?” He presses his hips forward, loving the pressure your plush thighs provide against his throbbing cock. His eyes almost roll back as he watches a silent moan fall from your mouth as your hips twitch, forward first against his guitar but back again to press into his boner. 

He smiles and raises an eyebrow at you, challenging you. You never initiate. He knows you’re shy, he knows it’s hard for you. He knows he’s all of your firsts but he needs— he craves to hear you beg him- to hear you ask him to touch you. He’s insecure, he can’t have this be so one-sided. He wants to see how far he has to push you before you say something. 

You’re nodding at him desperately. “Yes- Yes, I’m perfect.” He’s smiling so fondly at your agreement, his dick twitching painfully in his pants. He knows you feel it by the way your hips twitch, pathetically confused and you whine. It’s short and cut off as you turn to put his guitar away, placing it gently on the ground. You brush his cock and give him a beautiful view of your ass in the process. He’s silently begging you to say something, he doesn’t know how long he can keep this up. 

You turn back around and just stare at him, waiting for him to say something. He watches confusion bloom over your face, your head tilting like a puppy. He mimics your action with a teasing smile. “Do you have something to ask me, baby?” He watches realization and dread spread over your features. 

“Eddie…” Your thighs are rubbing together, nervously or for friction. He doesn’t falter, just looks at you expectantly as you pout. His hips are subconsciously thrusting up into the air, getting hot under your gaze. You press your hand to your forehead, astonishingly stressed at this seemingly simple task. Eddie considers letting up as he analyzes the distress on your face but you speak up. 

“Eddie can you-” You whine and avert your gaze. “Can you make me feel good? I—“ You huff out a breath of embarrassment. “I want you to make me cum… please.” His heart bursts at how nicely you ask. He’s taking a slow deep breath, trying to calm himself before answering you but you take his silence as a demand for more. “Eddie please!” You sound so upset, it's so cute. It makes him so hard. “Please, I- I need it. I need you, Eddie, please.” You’re still not looking at him as you whine. 

Eddie turns your head and smashes his lips into yours just to shut you up. If you had kept rambling about how bad you need him he would’ve cum in his pants. “Yeah. Yeah, I can make you feel good, baby. What do you wanna do, pretty girl? We can do whatever you want. You asked me so nicely, honey. You’re so sweet.” 

He’s desperate and all over you as he speaks. His hands are in your hair as he kisses all over your face and down your neck. You feel like you could suffocate in his need for you, it rushes over you and makes you need him more. “Your- Can we- Eddie.” 

He’s biting into your neck as you try to answer. You can feel him smirking in your neck as you struggle to answer him. “ ‘M sorry, baby. Go on, talk. You’re doing so well, honey.” He pulls himself closer to you so he can press his bulge into you again, his eyes fully rolling back at the pressure this time. “I want you to…. fingermeplease?” He moans at the way you rush out the last part of the sentence but still manage to use your manners. 

“You want me to finger you, baby? Fuck, yeah. I can do that. Mhm. You wanna sit between my legs? Let me open you up and play?” You’re nodding frantically and whining against his face as he lets filth spill from his lips. “Yeah? Will ‘ya squirm, honey? No, no I bet you’ll stay put like a good girl, huh?” 

He pummels you with his embarrassingly arousing words as he gets up to take his pants off (as you do the same), leaving his boxers and situating himself against the headboard. His thick thighs spread wide over his bed, leaving room for you to crawl between them. You don’t move though, you’re too mesmerized by the way his cock is pressing against the fabric, leaking into it and leaving a rapidly spreading dark spot. It can’t help but twitch as you admire him, he can’t take it; the hungry yet somehow innocent look in your eyes as you crawl towards him. 

Normally this is the part where you turn around, your legs spread and trembling over his as he shoves his fingers in your pretty pussy over and over until you’re quivering around his fingers, moaning and gripping his hair behind you desperately. Normally this is the part when he presses his boner to your lower back, thrusting against you in time with his fingers, imagining that it’s actually his cock inside you and willing himself not to cum when he pictures it for too long. 

Instead, you lift yourself to your knees. His face becomes level with your panties, his hips thrusting into the air as he groans at the pink bow resting on the band. You put your hands on his shoulder and slowly lower yourself onto his lap, letting out the sweetest moan as his soaked cock pushes into your dripping lips. His hands come up to your hips and force you down to him rougher than he meant to when he hears the sweetest whimper of “Oh, Eddie” slip from your throat. 

“Oh my fucking god, baby. You feel incredible, so fucking perfect. I can’t take it. Mm- Oh— What happened? I- I thought you wanted my fingers, sweetheart?” He’s throwing his head back and groaning when you collapse into him, leaning your weight on his bulge. You’re huffing out like you’re gonna cum, looking up at him with your pretty, glazed over, fucked out, high as fuck eyes. 

“I dunno, Eddie. I- It looked like he was- like he was crying for me.” Your hips stutter with a moan as your eyes roll back, Eddie’s hard cock rubbing against your clit perfectly. He feels like he’s gonna cum as you confess. It confounding to him; how you can say the most whorish things in the sweetest way. 

“You are in-fucking-credible, my love. I have no clue how you do this to me. I’m already so close, baby. You’re so amazing, so soft for me, love.” His eyes roll back and he’s losing it.

“You’re gonna make me cum— fuck. Holy shit—faster. Oh-h f-fuck me faster, baby. I love you so much. I- I’m gonna cum so hard. I- dammit. I wanna make you cum first. L-lemme make you cum first- shi-itt.”

You’re rabid against him, your hips moving at a pace that has him weak. You have him questioning who’s in control. He’s wound even tighter when he feels your hips falter, losing their rhythm as your mini whines evolve into desperate moans. “H-Help- Ed—” 

Your breathing is scattered as you whine and twitch against him. “Yeah, I’ve got you, baby.” He grabs your hips and grinds you against him, lifting his hips to meet your heavenly pussy and pressing magnificently into your clit. It has your hands digging into his shoulders, dropping down to his waist as you hug yourself to him. You’re moaning into his ear as he feels your thighs tensing on his sides.

“T-tell me-” You whine higher, more pathetically than he’s heard all night, his cock pulses, spurting out a dangerous amount of pre-cum into his boxers. “Tell me I’m good. T-Tell me I’m pretty—” You cut yourself off with a gasp as you buck your hips against him, a newfound energy coursing through you. “Oh- please- please tell me I’m pretty.”

Eddie’s right on the edge, moaning so loud he wouldn’t be surprised if the whole trailer park heard him. “YES- Yes, oh my god. You’re so beautiful, my love. You’re a fucking goddess among peasants. You’re a flower in a field of fucking hay, you’re my dream. You’re my soulmate.” He dissolves into a whine as you cum against him. You’re moaning into his shoulder, trying to muffle yourself in his shirt but you’re too loud. 

“There you go, fuck yes. Good girl— Oh shit. I’m gonna-” His eyes are in the back of his skull before he can finish. His hips twitching insanely and spurting out an outrageous amount of cum into the fabric of your panties. He’s panting as he tries to come down but you’re deliriously humping him. Forcing more ropes of cum into his boxers, he just can’t seem to stop. 

“Oh. Oh my god- I- I can’t stop. You’re such a good girl. Mine. My good girl. Askin’ me to make you feel good, takin’ what you need. God-” A ragged moan bubbles out of him as his cock finally stops drenching your poor panties. 

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!

[luvrxbunny]

his favorite taste

Pairing: Vampire!Bf!Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: Eddie tastes you for the first time.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, dry humping, blood, blood consumption, vampires, cum in pants(?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.7k

A/N: I’m going based on TVD vampires so Eddie has blood and a beating heart as long as he replenishes it with human blood. Also, I think I got possessed while writing this idek if its coherent

You’re lying in bed facing Eddie, admiring his face, how much he still looks the same. Even though he isn't. 

It’s been about a month since Eddie came back, different. He’s a vampire… when you boil it down. He just doesn’t like the term, he thinks it’s silly. In the month he’s been back he has explained everything to you, what happened to him, his new urges and needs. You know he goes out once a week to feed, he never told you when and he never lets you see his fangs but you’ve memorized his patterns. The only day he’s always too busy to come over is Sunday. 

It’s Saturday and Eddie is lying in your bed. You're high. He still rolls for you, despite now being immune to the effects. He likes to watch you smoke, watch you get sluggish, sweet, soft, and sensitive for him. He’s watching you as you admire his face, as you bring your hand up to trace over his cheek, down his jawline, and to his lips. 

You’re motions are mindless, you’re barely aware that you’re doing them. You imagine what his fangs look like as your fingers trace the outline of his lips. Your thumb comes to press into his inner lip when his breathing picks up. 

He’s more sensitive. He forgot to mention that to you. His senses are heightened and amplified by one another. He is hyper-aware of your warm fingers against his cold lips. He even gets a whiff of the blood that's rushing underneath. His breathing kicks up for a moment, trying to fill his lungs with the scent before he stops his breath short. His fangs are trying to push their way through his gums, his instincts shouting at him to sink his teeth into your soft, plush thumb. He knows you’d taste so sweet, he could probably get a nice buzz going too, with how much weed is in your system. He squeezes his eyes shut as he wills his fangs to stay in place, pretending like he can’t already feel them pressing against his top lip. 

His lips start to tremble against your fingers and confusion crosses your face. Then you feel his fangs press against his lip, pushing it into your finger. You gasp softly and push your thumb up into his mouth to press your thumb against his fangs. You’re excited, your curiosity causing you to move before you think. 

He can feel your fingers on his fangs. He feels the ridges of your fingerprint sliding over the smooth bone. It shoots like lightning through him sending the little bit of blood he has left to his cock. His eyes are pressed shut as he tries not to move a muscle. 

You aren’t considering Eddie at all. This isn't about him. It’s about you exploring his new features. They’re longer than you expected, white and glossy with his spit. You smile as you run your fingers from the bottom of his front teeth, across to press against the point of his fangs. 

You don't think about how sharp his fangs must be.

He punctures your thumb immediately, red blood pooling on the surface.

It drips into his mouth and his eyes snap open. He grips your hand roughly, pressing your wrist against his face to hold your thumb where it is while he sucks all the blood he can from the wound. He can’t think. He can’t think about how he might be hurting you, how he shouldn’t be drinking you up like this. He can only think about your taste. 

You watch his eyes shut tightly as he moans against your thumb. His lips are wrapped around you firmly as he sucks as hard as he can. You watch him gain color, his lips becoming pink again, he whimpers out something that sounds like a sob before pulling your hand away from his face, and shoving it back down against your stomach. The way he forces you, the way his hand spreads over your stomach past your wrist, has you dampening your panties. 

Eddie’s eyes are still closed as he tries to calm down. He’s hungry, and he knows that you’re more than willing to feed him. He opens his eyes slowly to find you staring right at his lips. He goes to lick them subconsciously but a moan slips out when he’s met with more of your blood. It has your eyes snapping to his. 

He looks into your eyes trying to decipher how you’re feeling, if you’re scared of him. He watches you bite your lip and smile softly at him before asking an innocent question. “Do I taste good, Eddie?” 

He knows it’s a genuine question but he also knows that you hoped it would do something to him. His fangs peek out from under his lips when he gasps before he buries his face in your pillows and groans. You’re giggling at him and yourself, the weed still coursing through your system. You bury your face in the pillow you’re on to try and silence your laugh, Eddie, and feel it. He can hear your laugh right next to his ear while he’s mulling over what you said. It has him hard and grinding his hips gently into your bed, wishing he had put on some boxers. 

You lift your head to look at his curls. You stroke them gently and he groans into your pillow again before turning over to see you, his fangs hidden away once more. You’re still smiling at him with all your sweetness and it makes his heart skip a beat. “Why’re you asking me things like that baby?”

Heat rises to your face and your features turn embarrassed. This piques Eddie’s interest. He sits up in your bed, waiting for you to answer his question. You look at your bedsheets, twisting them under your fingers while you consider how to answer him. In the end, you choose; honestly. 

“I just… Okay so obviously I don’t know what blood tastes like. I don’t know if different blood has different flavors to you or if maybe the flavors are based on blood type?” Eddie has confusion resting on his face as he wonders if your answer leads anywhere. He’s nodding at you nonetheless, not wanting you to get insecure about what you’re saying. He likes this when you’re high enough that you’re not making a lot of sense to him but making perfect sense to yourself. You’re so cute like this, looser. Your secrets tend to spill out this way.

“Do you know what I mean? I just-” You huff out, frustrated and unable to explain yourself. He is so in love. He’s trying to hold back a smile at the pout that’s settled on your lips. “It’s okay baby. Just think about what you wanna say.”

Eddie holds your hand, his thumb stroking over it while he watches your eyebrows press together in deep thought before you start speaking again. “I just don’t understand why you don’t just feed off me..." His thumb halts its movements and you start to shrink into yourself. 

Eddie is breathing deeply while considering your question. His thumb starts moving again, releasing a breath of relief from you. He knows that you think about it. He can hear your heart speed up every time he goes near your neck, even when he’s kissing your hands. He’s even thought about it. He thinks about it all the time. He knows you taste good. He wants to have your blood pouring into his mouth every time he sees you. 

Unfortunately, he has zero trust in himself. Every time he thinks about tasting you, his amount of excitement stops him. He doesn’t trust that he has the amount of restraint he would need to exert to stop, he is terrified that he’ll suck you dry. 

“I’m a little dangerous, baby. I’m stronger than you remember? You- you wouldn’t be able to push me off”

The heat that rushes to your core surprises you a bit. 

Eddie can hear your heart speed up and it hurts, the split second that he assumes you’re scared of him feels like a lifetime. Then he feels you trying to push your way into his lap, and lets you. You place yourself on top of his thighs lightly before scooting up to sit your core directly above his. You sigh softly when Eddie’s boner presses into you perfectly. Your arms wrap around his waist before you look back up at him.

“I think I’d really like it.” Your words are starting to slur, it's late, and you’re high and unbelievably turned on. “You sucking my blood, I mean. I think it would feel really good, Eddie.” He’s twitching insanely from the confines of his pajama pants. He cannot believe the words coming out of your mouth. You won’t look at him, like you’re embarrassed by what you’re confessing like you don’t know what it's doing to him. You’re idly twisting your fingers into the fabric of his wife beater, your hips moving against him subconsciously. His hand comes you tilt your chin up so that you’re looking at him. The love, innocence, and arousal in your eyes take his breath away.

“I think you might. Uh, but-” He can’t focus. You're looking up at him with such admiration. You want him to drink you up so badly he can’t handle it. “Um. I- if we do,”

Your eyes widen and you press yourself against him harder, leaning into him, your chest pressing against his which is rumbling in laughter right now. “I said if, sweetheart. If we do, I cannot have your neck, that’s… It’ll be too much for me, all that blood flow..” He trails off as his gaze concentrates on the junction of your neck. He takes a steadying breath before tearing himself away, refocusing. “It’s just too easy for me to.. drain you from there.” He rushes the last part out, embarrassed at his lack of restraint. 

You’re looking into his eyes as he speaks and looks back into yours. You’re trying to get your brain to work, to focus on more than the way Eddie is pressing into your core, the way his breath is hitting your face as he speaks, and the way he’s looking at you. You can see the ghost of a smile on his lips as he watches you try and rally the few stray thoughts you have left in your head. You focus as much as you can and offer him your only idea. “My wrist?” 

He thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head at you, hurting your little heart in the process. “Still a vein baby, too much flow.” His sentences shorten as he gets dragged into your pool of yearning. An idea finally dawns on him. He twitches in his pants at the thought of actually being able to consume you. “Your hand- I can- It’ll run dry on its own”

You started nodding before he could even finish his sentence, your hand right in front of his face by the time it ended. He can feel the warmth coming off you. His gaze cautiously shifts from your eyes to your shaky hand. He can smell the blood underneath and his mouth is watering at the prospect of sinking his teeth into it. He pulls your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss against your palm before wrapping his hand around your wrist. 

You wait, buzzing in his lap, for him to put his mouth on you. Your hand rests over his mouth gently, your thumb on his chin and your elbow hovering over his shoulder. Eddie’s eyes are closed lightly as you hear him inhale the scent emitting from your palm. His lips press against your palm as you feel his fangs slide out underneath them. His eyebrows are curved inward as he looks back into your eyes, he’s scared. 

You bring your other hand over the side of his face, stroking along his jawline before coming behind his head to gently push his mouth against your hand. You watch him closely, looking into his eyes to watch for refusal. His eyes stay on yours as his trembling lips part for the meat at the base of your thumb. You press your hand into his mouth and Eddie whimpers against it before sinking his teeth in. 

Pain shoots up your arm, tingling between your legs. Eddie’s eyes roll so far into his head that you see all white before his eyelids shut. He’s loud, groaning at your taste and moaning when his hips rock into yours. You watch him drink you up, he’s so messy, blood is all over his lips, smearing on the side of his mouth. You’re still stroking his hair as he devours you. You can feel your blood rushing like it’s all trying to get into Eddie. Your hips won’t stop moving against his as they buck into you. 

He drinks all the blood that flows out of your wound and removes his teeth. A moan shoots out of your mouth when you see your blood all over his lips, all over his teeth, his fangs. He smiles down at where you’ve dropped your head against his shoulder and starts licking around his bite. He’s still looking at you as he does it, watching the way your eyelids flutter as you look up at him, so lovingly for someone who just bit you. 

His gaze leaves you only when he stops getting blood from your wound, he wraps his lips around it delicately and sucks to get more. You feel his shoulders drop a bit in disappointment when nothing comes out. You drop that hand to his opposite shoulder from the one you’re on, and it comes behind to cradle his neck before pulling him in for a kiss that he rejects. 

You sit up and look at him, upset, hazy, and confused. You’re met with his wild eyes and mildly apologetic face. “I still have your blood on my face baby.” He’s speaking in a hushed whisper as though the sentence were some revelation. “It’s my blood, Eddie.” You respond with an incredulous giggle, your arms tightening around him before attempting to kiss him again. Only for him to pull away, again. “Yeah but my- my fangs are still out and I’m- and it’s dangerous”

You clock the unfinished sentence regardless of his attempt to cover it up. You analyze his face, trying to figure out what he was going to say but to no avail. “You’re what Eddie?” Your tone is accusatory and he notices, his eyes leaving yours the moment you voice the question. You mull over his sentence again, “Dangerous?” 

He turns his head away and you watch as his tongue nervously darts out to lick his lips, his eyelids flutter gently before his iris shoots to the corner of his eye, checking to see if you noticed. That’s when it clicks. 

He’s still hungry. 

As you think about it, of course he is. You don’t know how much he drinks from other people. You know that he’s holding back, that he’s scared, of course he wouldn't drink his fill. You’re still lost in thought when Eddie turns back to look at you, he waits for you to look up at him but you never do. “Can we just drop it?”

You look up at him with a smile that baffles him. You come up to kiss him on his cheek as he watches you expectantly, waiting for you to explain yourself. 

“Your needs matter Eddie, you can’t keep them from me. I need to know what you need for me to give it to you and it’s so much easier if you tell me up front.” You bring your unwounded hand to his face and slide your thumb across his lips, gathering the smeared blood as best you can before pushing it into his mouth. He’s stock still as you press your thumb against his tongue, his only movement is his lips closing to suck up every drop. You hold his eye contact as you pull your thumb from his mouth and press your palm to his mouth. “I know you want more Eddie”

His eyes water as his lips begin to tremble against you once again. You bite into your lip when you feel Eddie harden up underneath you again, pressing up against your clit this time due to the way you’re angled toward him. His eyelids flutter when his clothed tip pushes up into your plush lips. 

He keeps looking into your eyes as you press his head to your hand, as you did before. He’s holding back whimpers as he sinks his fangs into the soft skin of your hand. He feels your skin push, break, and slide against him. He can feel the gushing of your blood as it pushes through the puncture he’s made in your skin, he can feel the warmth as it surrounds his teeth, spilling into his mouth.

Eddie starts thrusting up into you like he can’t help it, his hands are on your lower back and hip, pressing you against him just the way he wants it.  His eyes are on you as he continues to drink his fill, he’s tracking you’re reaction, the way your hips speed up when he presses his teeth harder into your wound. 

He feels it, he’s getting high off your blood. His body getting more and more sensitive the longer he drinks you up.

 You can feel your pussy leak into his pants, getting his cock wet with it when he twitches up into you. Your eyes slip shut as you begin to grind against him with purpose, feeling something starting to tighten in your stomach. You watch Eddie as he drinks down all the blood he can, moaning into your hand while looking right into your eyes. You hold his contact as you feel your climax build. Eddie can feel your muscles contracting over his cock and it has him spilling pre-cum through his pants and smearing on you. His lips finally part from your hand and he’s immediately kissing you.

You can taste copper on his lips, in his mouth as he moans into yours. He’s brought one hand up to push your face into his while he keeps the other on your lower back, guiding you against him. He’s pressing his face into your neck, inhaling your scent greedily. “Oh fuck. Thank you so much, baby. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

You moan lewdly into his ear while he expresses his gratitude, his hips thrusting up into your pussy like he’s fucking you. “Eddie,” You drag his name out into a whine in a way that has his hips stuttering against you and him moaning out into your neck. “Holy shit- Eddie I’m so close- fuck.”

He’s in his own world, grunting into you gruffly, his whole body tense as he chases his high. You can feel his mouth open in a silent moan before he’s shaking and cumming against you, his face still buried in your neck, eyes shut tight. He keeps pulling you over his cock as it pulses, he doesn’t have any rhythm but you just want him to feel good. You’re so close, right there, but you can’t get over the edge, and Eddie is going to be out of commission for the night. You almost accept your fate, that you’ll have to take one for the team but then you feel them. His fangs shoot out as he releases one last howling moan and goes limp on you. 

You feel his fangs scrape over the skin of your neck, ever so slightly but it sets your whole body alight. Pleasure shoots up your spine, straightening your spine before you’re gripping Eddie with all the strength in your body. He moans and his hand comes around to toy with your clit. His mouth opens and filth come out. 

“Such a good girl for me, baby. Letting me drink you all up, got you all messy in your panties in the process huh?”

He circles your clit once. 

“Fuck you tasted so good too, like sipping on fucking juice, sweetheart. F- felt like I was gonna cum from the moment I could taste it.”

He presses his thumb against your clit, hard.

“You’ll let me do it again right? Your blood is my new favorite taste- shit, I might be addicted to you already, baby.”

You’re gushing. Your whole body is trembling in Eddie’s hold from the force of your orgasm. You slam your eyes shut as you moan around the syllables of his name. Your hips shove themselves against Eddie’s fingers and you whine for him while soaking your underwear.

Everything is fuzzy when you open your eyes again, you can hear Eddie cooing at you in your ear, he’s stroking his hand over the expanse of your back as the other one grips the back of your neck, holding you to him. You feel a rush of air and you’re sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Gotta stay hydrated, baby you uh, you lost a lot of blood.” He chuckles to himself nervously before grabbing the cup of water and holding it out for you. Your arms don’t attempt to move from where they’re wrapped around his neck, he’s so warm and you’re sure that glass is cold so what’s the point. You’re just staring at him with you’re adorable fucked out expression, he smiles fondly before holding the cup up to your lips for you. You take a few sips, drinking about a quarter of the cup before pulling away to collapse into Eddie. He whispers “Good job, baby.” before placing a kiss on your forehead. 

Another rush of air and you’re back in bed, your head on Eddie’s chest with the blankets pulled up to your neck. You try to hide your smile as you realize this is the most of Eddie’s vampire side that he’s ever showed you. 

“What are you thinking about? Can hear your heart racing.”

“Just about how much I love you.” You respond with a delirious giggle. “Every part”

You hear Eddie take a breath before he pulls you fully on top of him and kisses you stronger than he has in the past month. “I promise that I love you more, baby”

You drift to sleep as Eddie watches, all night.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[luvrxbunny]

hii!! just read ur vampire!eddie fic and it was so goooddd!!!! 🥹😩 I was wondering if I could request tho maybe mafia!eddie(??) totally okay if u don’t want to or if that’s not ur vibe hehe ☺️ thank you!! 🤍🤍

omg you're my first request! i hope this is along the lines of what you wanted ily enjoy! also this was supposed to come out next Monday but I didn't wanna wait

Pairing: Mafia!Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: Eddie has you sit in during a meeting and hijinks ensue.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, fingering, piv, unprotected sex, exhibitionism(?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.5k

A/N: he works out of an office building… don't ask

Eddie is in a meeting when you show up. His receptionist has you sit in the waiting room while he wraps up so you’re sitting there quietly with your little basket of home-baked muffins. Your sundress is fanned out around you delicately, and a soft smile is on your face at the thought of seeing your fiancé 

Your heart jumps and you stand up when the door opens and two suited men walk out as Eddie shakes hands with the third one. You’re fixated on how his silver rings shine in the light, you run your eyes up his body and notice he’s wearing your favorite outfit.

It was your birthday when you picked it, he said you should choose the outfit he would wear to your party. You put him in a black suit with a sleeveless black turtleneck underneath, a silver watch that you bought him, a silver chain, and his silver gauges for accessories. 

He looks so incredibly powerful, that it has you clenching your thighs together desperately. You admire his curly hair, loving the way it falls over his shoulders when you notice him looking at you, very confused. “Sandy, what is she doing out here?” He says in a rough, angry voice as he makes his way over to you with an angry scowl. He grabs your arm more gently than you expected and drags you over to the doorway of his office.

“I told you to always send her right in. Don’t let this happen again.” He slams his door shut before Sandy can answer and kisses you softly. “Hey, sweetheart.” He takes your basket and walks to his desk, you following close behind him. “What’re you doing here? Need me?” He places them on his desk and drops himself in his chair, legs spread and smirking as he looks up at you. 

You giggle at him, a little flustered that he saw through you so quickly. “How did you know?” You’re staring at the ground as you ask him, your weight shifting from leg to leg. Eddie is silent as you stare at your feet, waiting for him to answer but little do you know, Eddie is waiting for you. He’s watching you shift around nervously, looking anywhere but into his eyes and he decides that he won’t answer until you look directly at him. The silence gets a bit unbearable and you look up to see what’s taking him so long only to see him already staring at you, a smile breaking out on his face when your eyes meet.

“I know my fiancee, baby… And I know you’re not wearing anything under that sundress. You never do.” His voice sounds a little far away by the end of his sentence, his eyes wandering down your body. You watch his smile widen as he takes you in. Your thighs clenching together when his gaze rests there, you can see his jaw clenching in response as he fixes his gaze back on your face. “Come sit in my lap, baby.”

You smile brightly and place yourself in his lap, facing him and you can already feel his dick hardening and pressing against you. “There’s my pretty girl.” He whispers into your lips before devouring you and an all-consuming kiss. It’s obvious in the way he bruises his lips into yours that he’s missed you too.

His hands are gripping both sides of your face, pulling you against him. His hands run down your back and to your sides, his thumbs coming up to stroke your nipples softly, feeling them stiffen up underneath his thumbs. He moans into your mouth at the feeling and pulls at the straps of your dress, trying to free your boobs so he can play with them properly but you hear his door open, pulling you out of the moment and forcing your lips to part from Eddie’s.

“Sandy, what the fuck have I said about knocking?” His voice is booming, it almost makes you flinch, as Eddie yells at him. You turn halfway in Eddie’s lap so you can see Sandy, his eyes bulging at your mussed state, staring at your fallen dress strap and your nipples pressing through the fabric of your dress. You feel Eddie’s breathing speed up, a deep growl working its way in as Sandy takes more and more time to answer, undressing you with his eyes instead. 

“You’re on thin fucking ice right now.” Eddie’s voice is low and dangerous as he speaks to Sandy, snapping him out of his trance. His face is completely red by the time he looks up at Eddie, jumping a bit when he sees the look in his eyes. Eddie looks like he could hospitalize him, you can feel his hand balling into a fist where it rests on your hip, his muscles tensing as he considers it. 

You wrap your arm around his shoulder and place a calming hand on his chest, feeling him relax under it as Sandy finally speaks.”Sorry, sir! Y-Your five ‘o’ clocks are here. Would you like me to tell them to wait or?” You can feel Eddie’s breathing stop. You’re quite upset that you won’t be able to stay but try not to show it. You’d never want Eddie to feel bad for doing his job but he was busier and busier nowadays, and you’ve started to feel a little lonely. 

Eddie’s voice booms across the room when he speaks up. “Why was I not informed?” Sandy flinches at the sound and opens his mouth to speak but a squeak is all that comes out. You can feel Eddie revving up to yell again when you start to get up from his lap, fixing your dress in the process. “Eddie it's fine, I’ll head home and see you when you’re done.” You say happily, trying to diffuse the situation and save Sandy from further reprimanding. 

You lean down to place a kiss on Eddie’s head when he tears his gaze from Sandy and looks dead into your eyes. “Sit down.” He says it with such conviction, in such a commanding tone that you don't even think about questioning him. You immediately place yourself back in his lap as you were before. He keeps his eyes on yours as you sit before looking back at Sandy. “You send them in but if this ever happens again you are dead, understand?”

Sandy mumbles out a quick “Yes sir.” and rushes out of the room. Eddie takes a deep breath before looking at you and pressing a soft kiss to your neck. “You stay here. It shouldn’t be too long.” He whispers in between kisses. You bring your hand around his head and stroke his hair gingerly as he kisses you. He sighs into you when you part your lips, allowing his tongue to roam your mouth. Your hips begin to move subconsciously, pushing your pussy down on his thighs for friction when the door opens again. You pull apart from Eddie, taking a deep breath to try and calm the frustration bubbling in your chest at being interrupted again.

Prominent men and beautiful women file into the room and sit in various seats, some standing along the walls, and all intimidating to you. They await Eddie, waiting for him to kick off the meeting, waiting for him to send you out. Instead, Eddie welcomes everyone and begins stroking up and down your leg to calm you as he starts talking business. You watch Eddie as he speaks, saying a lot of things you don’t understand but you love it. You’ve only gotten to see him like this a few times, in "business" mode. He’s scared your opinion of him will change. 

He’s so strong in the way he demands respect. He talks in a way that makes you want to hear what he has to say. He asserts himself and no one questions it because he carries himself and speaks with unwavering confidence. He’s almost a different person when you see him like this, talking in a gruff, angry, domineering voice that takes charge of a room. You reluctantly pull your eyes from Eddie to watch the rest of the room only to notice that almost everyone has their eyes on you. You begin to squirm uncomfortably as everyone stares and Eddie instantly notices.

“Hey!” He shouts out sharply, causing the whole room to jump, multiple people reaching for their waistbands, worrying you a bit. “Everyone’s attention seems to be divided… is there a reason?” He’s using that low, threatening tone again and it has you leaking into your dress. You watch as the terrifying characters look around nervously, steering clear of Eddie’s gaze in hopes of avoiding the question. The silence sits heavy in the air until someone speaks up, a large, burly man who has you curling in, trying to hide in Eddie’s lap. 

“I guess I’m just wondering what your tramp is doing sitting in on a confidential meeting.” He says in a tough, confident, almost smug voice. You watch Eddie’s features twist into an expression of rage at the man’s words. His hands squeeze your hips momentarily before pushing you up and out of his lap slowly. Your eyes are on Eddie’s face when he reaches underneath his desk and you hear the scrape of his gun against it. You’re heart races, you’ve never seen it before. He stands at his full height, stretching his back and cracking his neck as he crosses the room, slowly walking over to the man. 

You stare at his thick fingers wrapped around the silver metal, turning off the safety and cocking it. “What… the fuck did you just call my fiancée?” Eddie asks lightly, his tone is almost jovial as he presses his gun against the man’s lower stomach. You’re breathing quickly as you watch the scene unfold, you watch Eddie slide his gun up the man's body and underneath his chin when he’s met with silence instead of an answer. “What did you call my wife?” 

Eddie’s finger hovers over the trigger, anticipation building inside you as you press your legs together. You feel your wetness begin to drip down your thigh when you see a smirk split Eddie’s face as the man tries to answer. “I- Ed I- I didn’t know. I thought she was just a fuck, man. I-” Eddie fires right next to the man’s ear, making you jump as the man doubles over in pain, both of his hands pressed to his ear in an attempt to stop the painful ringing. 

Eddie turns to the rest of the room, ignoring the man’s groans of pain in favor of making an announcement. “If anyone even thinks of disrespecting my wife I will put a bullet in you... Consider this your first and final warning.” Eddie strides over to you, your eyes are wide and frantic and his turn apologetic when he sees yours. You look unsettled and frazzled as he seats you back in his lap. He’s still looking at the room, avoiding your gaze. “Pitch your ideas and get the fuck out.”

He’s panting while you stare at him, his eyes cold and violent until they meet yours, softening to a loving gaze instantly. He mouths out an apology as people start pitching their ideas to him. You shake your head and kiss his forehead before resting your head on his shoulder as he tunes back into his meeting. His hand starts rubbing up and down your leg again, reaching higher and higher up every time. It’s working you up, causing you to leak against his thigh and hold back whimpers. He finally gets his hand up to your inner thigh and that’s when he starts to feel your wetness. His focus goes to shit the moment he feels it, not even hesitating before pushing his hand further up your dress to come in contact with your soft, soaked pussy. 

You watch his face, it’s hard as marble, stoic as he continues to listen and give feedback but you can feel him hardening in his pants again. His breath quickens and stutters as he pushes his fingers into your hot, wet cunt. His eyelids flutter as he curls them, pressing against your G-spot and feeling you clench around his digits. You can feel his other hand tighten its grip on your hip as his hips subtly push his dick up into your thighs. A satisfied grunt falls from his lips as he plays his movements off as him readjusting his position.

A whimper falls out of your mouth and against his into his neck as you bury your face in it, trying to hide your expression from the rest of the room. His fingers are thrusting deep inside you, you’re trying to regulate your breathing so you don’t alert anyone in the room but you’re struggling as you crawl towards an orgasm. Your hips start to gently thrust forward to meet Eddie’s hand, grinding his palm against your clit and whining softly into his ear.

Eddie is struggling to contain himself, growing decreasingly interested in the meeting and more in the way your body is reacting to him. Your face is resting in the crook of his neck and he can hear your whimpers as they slip out, he can feel your breath as it fans his skin. Your back is arching, he doesn't think you realize that you’re pressing your chest against him but it’s fucking him up. The way you’re yearning for him, the way your body is reaching out for him in front of everyone has him straining inside his pants. 

He watches the meeting wrap up in a daze, every sense muffled to everything else, tuned in to you as you grind yourself into his lap. He can feel your arousal soaking his pants and it’s making him twitch. His hips buck into yours as his cock throbs inside his pants. He already has you standing by the time the door shuts behind the last person. Your knees are so weak that you almost collapse when he props you up against the desk. He presses your face into the hard surface and spreads your legs with his own, forcing them open and resting his legs against yours. 

He’s holding both wrists behind your back with one hand as you moan and listen to him fumble with his belt and zipper. “I’m gonna fuck you so well, baby. Just how you deserve.”

You can hear him stroking himself, a wet noise resonating through the room. You’re head is spinning and you’ve never been more turned on in your life. You push up onto your tip toes, trying to grind your hips back into Eddie, trying to get him inside you faster.

“Please, Eddie! N-need it so bad, please.” You beg and beg as Eddie lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. The stretch isn’t too bad because of how worked up you are but you’re still tight enough that the initial thrust has you and Eddie moaning out. Eddie’s hand releases your wrists when he bottoms out, pulling your hips to his and holding you in place. 

“Fuck, darling. You’re so perfect, so tight and wet for me. Just how I like it, huh?” He slowly wraps one hand around, grasping your throat. His wide fingers gripping gently for pressure but not cutting any air supply yet. His body is hunched over yours, caging you in and creating a curtain with his hair as he starts to gently fuck into you. His hips are moving languidly into yours, savoring the suction of your pussy every time he slides back into you. He’s groaning into your ear about how magnificent your pussy is, he’s telling you about how much he thinks of it throughout the day, how often he wishes he was buried in your instead of dealing with idiots.

You’re moaning much louder than you should be, considering you know there are people around, right outside of Eddie’s office but you just can’t hold back. Eddie brings his hand from your throat up to cover your mouth with his entire palm, the action has your eyes rolling back and just moaning louder into his hand. “F-fuck, baby. You like that?” His hips stutter as you clench around him moaning in response to his question. “I love it, Eds. Baby- Eddie please- fuck.” You gasp out against his hand, your voice muffled. You’re hips grind back against his cock as he plunges into you as deep as he can, staying there and watching you fuck yourself back on his cock.

He’s obsessed with the way your hips are moving, his hand coming up to grip his hair as he tries to calm himself. His eyes roll back and close as you desperately push your hips back against his. He’s groaning out your name with every other thrust as he starts fucking into you again, his voice beginning to sound more like a whine that has your legs giving out. You start to lose your rhythm, getting caught up in how Eddie’s cock slides against your walls, how the tip abuses your g-spot perfectly with every thrust, how he fills you to the brim so it’s all you can focus on. Eddie takes note of your struggle and gets to work. One hand goes under you to play with your clit, and the other grips your hip, stabilizing you as Eddie pounds into you with renewed energy.

“This pussy ‘s so fucking flawless, baby. Dunno what I’d do without my favorite girl.” He rambles on as he approaches his high, hyperfocused on the tightening of your pussy as he hammers into you. You can feel the heat in your stomach spreading throughout your body as your muscles tense, your legs starting to shake and your knees completely give out. Eddie flips you onto your back so you’re lying atop his desk gripping his biceps. He takes no time to thrust himself back into you, hands grasping your hips and moaning against your face before diving in for a kiss. “Gotta see that pretty face when I make you cum, love.”

You moan into his lips, feeling your pussy begin to pulse hopelessly around him. “Eddie. Eddie, I’m ‘onna c-cum. ‘M so close please-” You cut yourself off with a gasp as your hands move to his hair, fisting in it as your orgasm crashes over you. Your hands pull at his hair and rake down his arms, leaving red streaks for him to show off later.

He’s enamored with the way you look when you’re cumming. The way your eyes squeeze shut as he continues to pound into you. He can feel his stomach tensing, his balls tightening up in preparation for his load but he holds off to keep fucking you. He holds back as long as he can in favor of watching you, the way your eyebrows pull inwards when the pleasure spills into overstimulation. You whine at him to stop thrusting into you, telling him it’s “too much” and that you “c-can’t take it” but it only spurs him further.

He’s moaning your name on repeat as your senses are assaulted, pleasure stabbing between your legs with every thrust until Eddie cums hot and hard into your cunt. He folds forward with a painful groan and moans for you. His hips jerk into yours with every rope of cum that shoots out of his cock, coating and covering your walls as you milk him. He groans out when you're purposely tighten your pussy on him, prolonging and intensifying his orgasm. His arms give out and he basically collapses against you, moaning into your neck and kissing along it. 

You stroke his hair as he gently thrusts into you, relishing how good you make him feel. He pulls his head from your neck and presses a loving kiss to your lips. You moan gently into his mouth and he whines in response before pulling away with a smile. He looks deep into your eyes as he presses a thumb to your bottom lip and kisses you again. You wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close, his chest against yours and your legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him inside you. One of his hands is behind your head, cradling it as he kisses you gently, his other running up and down your arm soothingly. You pull away from Eddie with a dazed smile that has his smile widening as he picks you up off his desk and across the office. 

He gently places you on a couch he had installed for this specific reason, there were too many times he’d fuck you in his office and you’d have to leave almost immediately after because you needed sleep or you couldn’t just stand in the corner. It made you both feel awful so he bought this couch. It barely went with the decor of his office but it was your favorite color so he doesn’t care. He rests your head on a cushion before pulling a blanket over you and kissing your forehead. You watch him through sleepy eyes as he brings some papers, his laptop, and his glasses over to the couch. He gently lifts your legs, places them in his lap and his laptop on top of them earning a little snort from you. He turns to you quickly with a surprised smile. “You still watching me? Go to sleep, baby.” He has a soft laugh throughout and rubs your leg lightly. You giggle at him and let sleep take you. 

Thank you so much for reading! and thank you even more for requesting!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[luvrxbunny]

I need something borderline illegal. Like dark and twisted. Like I want to question my moral compass but read on.

Am I asking for dad’s best friend!Joel? pshhhhhh. Am I asking for bratty! reader?? Pshhhhhh. Am I asking for anything???

Am I asking for smutty smut?! Yes I am.

Ofc if you are uncomfortable with any of these don’t hesitate to ignore this and also no pressure ily ❤️

a/n: reader isn't bratty, im sorry! i forgot :((

sleep

pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x f!virgin!reader

summary: Joel can’t stay away from you any longer.  

warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol, voyeurism/somnophilia + dub-con, dry humping, cum in pants

wc: 4.0k

a/n: i hope this is dark enough!! the only reason the ask is a ss instead of the actual thing is cus i formatted the whole story then realized i forgot to put it in the reply to the ask (loosely proofread)

It’s 2 am and Joel can’t stop thinking about you. How you’re sleeping soundly in his room, in his bed, in his shirt as pajamas because you had “forgotten to pack some”, something you both knew was a lie. He knows you’re toying with him, you started a bit before, but since you’ve turned 18? It's just been on rapid fire. 

He pulls out his phone and scrolls through your text thread, scoffing at every other conversation. It was so apparent, in every text, how badly you want him. 

Mon, Aug 16 at 4:41 AM

bbg: big man! text me when u wake up i have a joke

You: Why are you awake at this time?

bbg: wtf why are YOU awake 🤨 

You: I have trouble sleeping, you know that.

bbg: aww poor joey 😢

You: Are you going to answer my question, darling?

bbg: im doing skincare and stuff

You: You have to wake up this early for that stuff?

bbg: can’t put a price on feeling bonita 

You: Why are you speaking Spanish now?

bbg: nevermind lmao

bbg: so have u tried meditation

You: What?

bbg: for your sleeping troubles

You: I’m not that kind of guy.

bbg: what about getting off

You: Excuse me? 

bbg: like masturbation n stuff

You: I know what you’re saying.

You: I don’t understand why you’re talking about this with me.

bbg: we haven’t even talked about it 😭 

bbg: obviously we can end the convo if ur uncomfy but its a very good way to fall asleep

He remembers needing a pause after he read that text for the first time. It had only been four months since your birthday and you were already drastically different. Joel never expected it, he always thought your feelings had already reached their limit but it turns out you were holding back because you weren’t of age. Now that you are… He doesn’t know what he’s going to do. His morals may not be strong enough for the thought of  “ his best friend's daughter” to hold him back. He’s already rationalized himself out of the “daughter's best friend” thought. You’re not even going to school together anymore. Sarah lives on campus so you guys never see each other and you barely ever text. 

You: I have not.

bbg: what? literally how? 

bbg: you should

bbg: it totally works

You: That’s good to know. 

You: Get back to your skincare, honey. I’ll message you later. 

Mon, Aug 16 at 5:03 AM

bbg: joel? 

Mon, Aug 16 at 5:37 AM

bbg: are you masturbating? 

You: Sweetheart. You can’t ask me things like that. It’s not right.

bbg: u didnt answer! i got curious

You: Still.

bbg: i dont see the problem we’re both adults 🫢

You: Barely.

bbg: dont be mean

You: Do you need something

You: I said I’d text you later

bbg: wow no punctuation?

You: Busy

bbg: getting off? 

He remembers staring at your text, unbelieving that you’d send him something like that, so forward, so dirty. He remembers the thought that you were joking. Obviously, you don’t expect him to say yes, that’s why you asked in the first place. Maybe his perverted mind was interpreting your behavior as flirting but you’re just being yourself around him. All these thoughts were swirling in his head but the feeling of his hand flying over his cock, pretending it’s yours, that you're in his ear whispering to him... That thought was stronger, that feeling was stronger. 

You: Yes.

bbg: good. have fun, joey

He gets up for his fourth beer, hoping to drown the impure thoughts, starring you, that plague his mind. It’d be so easy to have you, you’ve been throwing yourself at him since you turned 17. He’s been ignoring it, adamantly. It wasn’t right, despite the age difference, the fact that you’re his daughter’s best friend and his best friend’s daughter. On top of that, you only just turned 18. 

You’ve been staying at Joel’s for a month. He takes the guest room because you say that his bed is better. You haven’t gone home because your dad is still working on your birthday present/room renovations and he doesn't want you to see it until it’s done. He offered up Joel’s house to keep you, knowing his best friend wouldn't mind, unknowing that his best friend was corrupt for his daughter. 

Joel was trying to ignore the way his body was heating up, still scrolling through the texts. He remembers that conversation perfectly. He remembers the adrenaline that was coursing through him as he confessed. He remembers how hard he came at your response. When thinking about this conversation he also remembers the guilt, it’s the most vivid emotion he remembers, usually. But the alcohol seems to be drowning that part out, and Joel scrolls on. 

He finds a patch of texts that he actively avoids, usually. It’s picture after picture of you in the most adorable outfits in the most suggestive positions. There are plenty of you lying on your back, some with your head turned to show off your perfectly curved, unmarked, un-bitten, neck. There are a few where you’re sitting down with the camera angled up, giving Joel too many situations his head can come up with. Then there’s the worst one, his favorite- he doesn’t even know how you took this one. You’re sitting on your knees, hands rested on your thighs and you’re looking up at the camera with a shy smile. 

There are two things about this photo that really fuck him up. 

First, your smile, the way it lets him know that you’re trying to fuck him up, you know what you’re doing with this pose, this positioning, you’re even embarrassed by it, a little nervous about it but you still felt the need to take the photo, for him. 

Second, the height, and the way the camera is positioned shows him that these photos were specifically crafted for him because the height the camera is at is exactly how he’d see you if you were on your knees like that for him. 

You made sure that he noticed because the very next day, you needed him to tie a bow in your hair and instead of waiting for him to get off the couch you placed yourself on the ground, between his legs, in this pose. He had to hide his erection until you left and then fight the urge to get himself off in your room for the rest of the night. 

He glances at his room door, you’re sleeping so soundly in there.

She wouldn’t even notice if someone went in there right now. She definitely wouldn’t notice me… Hell, as if she’d mind either way… I mean- Would she?

The alcohol clouds his thoughts, gives him bad ideas, and then convinces him that they’re good- this one being one of them. He grabs his almost-finished beer and heads to the fridge to grab a fifth one, knowing he’ll be in there for a while. 

He does this sometimes, you look so peaceful when you sleep… it’s the only time he can admire you without putting all his relationships at risk. He reaches the door and turns the knob slowly to avoid creaking. He enters the room, his socks padding his footsteps, and the darkness gives him no shadow. He moves one of your tops off of his desk chair and turns it to face your sleeping figure while placing his beers down. You’re already bringing a smile to his face. You’ve got your face shoved into one of his pillows, your arm tucked under it, and your leg is pulled up to your waist, sticking out from under his tan comforter. You’re wearing one of his hoodies for sleepwear—

Fuck.

and it doesn’t look like you have anything on your bottom half. It’s a little cold in his room so little goosebumps have bloomed over your exposed skin. He takes a swig of beer, finishing his fourth as he examines you. Your face twitches for a moment, your eyebrows furrow, and your nose twitches like a rabbit before calming back down. He opens the other beer and fills his mouth with it, hoping that the alcohol stops the fluttering in his stomach while he drinks it down. 

You shiver a bit but your leg doesn’t move, the goosebumps just become more prominent. His hand is reaching out for you before he can think, rubbing your calf gently to soothe and warm you up a bit. You let out a relieved sigh at his contact and your leg presses further into his warmth. He has to take a deep breath as his mind runs wild, convincing him that this is some sort of sign, that even in you’re sleep you’re trying to be closer to him, that he should just give in. 

No, she’s your best friend's daughter. Sure she’s her own person now, legally an adult, an’ can make decisions for herself… an’ yeah she’s not owned or controlled by anyone and just cause I’m friends with her father ain’t a fair reason to completely rule her out from being a potential partner… Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad… maybe it’s actually more fucked up for me to avoid her just cause of who birthed her. That’s totally not fair to her! I mean I know I wouldn't want anyone judging me based on who my parents are y’know? Maybe I should put myself in her shoes. 

His breathing speeds up as he breaks through his last piece of resistance. Now he’s just trying to figure out how soon he can have you. 

I’ll have to court her first, flirt with her a bit before asking her out to dinner, then maybe she’ll accept my offer to be my girlfriend by the third date… From there maybe she’ll have sex with me for the three-month anniversary… she might be a bit more timid than that but we’re looking at a four- five-month plan… That can work- I can definitely work with that.

You whine and stretch your body, your legs straighten and your arms spread out, you turn and rest one arm on top of your head before you lift your leg, bending it above your waist but with the other one this time. The new position leaves the blanket covering nothing but one of your inner thighs and to add insult to injury your raised arms lift his hoodie, revealing a beautiful sliver of your stomach. 

Or I could have her now.

The thought is too powerful to stop, his opportunity is too perfect, Ellie is out with whatever girl she’s currently entertaining, and Sarah doesn’t live here anymore. Your father would never be awake at this time and Joel is hard, wanting, and so so ready for you. He’s crawling into bed beside you after downing half his beer for the nerves. 

He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. 

He settles next to you and your leg presses into him again, searching for him and his warmth. You slowly turn to him as he stares at you, watching how sluggish your movements are in your sleep. You snuggle into the pillow in front of him and take a long inhale of its scent, a little smile resting on your lips while you breathe out. Your face is inches from his, and his hand is down his pants in an instant. 

The relief is heavenly, he’s been throbbing for you since he read those texts. He can’t help the way he reacts to you. He can smell your toothpaste on your breath as you gently snore in front of him. He wraps his warm hand around his cock and his soft lips part into an ‘O’. His eyes roll back for a second but he immediately focuses them back on you. He’s tugging at himself violently, not even thinking about savoring this moment, just needing to cum for you. He’s trying to hold in his sounds but you look so pretty, just seeing your face while he’s touching himself makes everything better, somehow you’ve turned his sensitivity as high as it can go.

Little whines and whimpers slip into your dream state. You’re confused by the sound, the rustling that coming from—? In front of you? Your brows furrow as you try to open your eyes. “Fuck” You hear someone say. It sounds like… 

You open your eyes just in time to see Joel yank his hand out of his sweatpants and scramble as far as he can get from you before falling off the bed. You’re still confused as you take his form in. His shirt has ridden up a bit, exposing the salt and pepper hairs on his tummy. His hair is sticking all over the place, he stinks of beer, and his eyes are wide, focused on you. “Joey?”

Despite the horrid situation he’s in, his cock is still leaking for you, pulsing at the nickname. He can’t answer, he has to bite back a moan as he feels himself leak into the fabric of his pants. “Joel? What—” Your eyes flutter, almost falling shut but you shake yourself out of it and— Fuck.

You move closer to him. 

You’re too snuggly when you’re sleeping, too cute, and too dumb. You’re not even questioning why your father’s best friend was in bed with you while you were sleeping. You don't want to risk him leaving and you don’t mind in the first place, you actually thought you were dreaming at first. Your heart almost stopped when your fingers actually latched onto his shirt after reaching out for him. He’s stiff as a board, deterring your touch so you pull your hands into your chest and bury your face in his. 

Joel is almost shaking in exertion as you press your soft little body against his. It’s just your upper half, leaning into him and finding wam solace in his chest. He can handle this, he thinks. He can calm down, and be with you like this. He’s supposed to court you first anyway, he can’t believe himself. Was he really going to just get off with you in the same bed? What kind of pervert would even try something like that?

You hike your leg up over his waist, half asleep, not realizing your motions. 

All his perverted feelings return with a vengeance. 

You wiggle around a bit, trying to get comfortable but his cock twitches, flicking into your soft lips for a moment. At first, you really didn’t know what it was, all you knew was that the sensation felt good. So of course you chased it. Your hips grind into his cock arrhythmically, trying to find that same angle again, not realizing that you’re basically fucking him through your clothes. His hands have to come to your hips, gripping painfully for your eyes to snap open and your hips to freeze. 

Your eyes widen further when you finally process the situation, and even in all your teasing and sensuality, at the end of the day, you’re still just a virgin. You never had any real intention of acting on your desires, especially if Joel wasn’t the one initiating. 

Oh fuck. What did I do? What do I do? He’s just staring at me… Maybe he didn’t notice, I didn’t! But it felt so good. Will he let me? Maybe if I—

Your hips tilt into his before you can process whether this is actually a good idea or not. His hand tense over yours, like another shock of clarity through your bones. You shut your eyes tight, not wanting to see the disgust or uncomfortable pity in his face. “I’m so sorry, Joel. I didn’t… I-”

You try not to let tears well in your eyes as you whimper and pull back from him. But he doesn’t let you. His arms tense, his muscles flexing as he keeps your body pressed against his. You open your eyes, a bit shocked at his refusal to let you go but still too scared to meet his eyes. Your gaze is on his stomach, the way his gray shirt rode up, exposing the way his belly keeps tensing with every breath. “I-” He manages to get out before letting out a shuddering sigh. You finally look at him. 

His eyebrows are pulled taut in between his eyes, his gaze is something you’ve never seen before, and he almost looks angry. It’s desperate, but sorrowful, with the added haze from his intoxication. He keeps biting at his bottom lip, worrying it red as he tries to form a sentence for you. His hands tense over your hips again but this time they tilt you into him again. His face is a hard grimace as he slowly presses you into his raging bulge. You watch him fight with his expression, it keeps breaking into something weak before he goes back to his angry pout. You can’t help the way you press into him, you want to feel it again, that fire in the pit of your stomach that spreads to your soaking pussy the more he pulls you in. You watch his face contort into something heavenly. His brows pull up, almost shocked at how good you feel as his eyes roll back and shut. His entire body shakes as he melts into the pillow. He’s breathing deep and slowly, trying to regulate the pleasure he feels. 

Now he’s focused on savoring the moment. He wants this to last as long as it possibly can. You’re making him feel incredible,  he’s so sensitive, it’s like he’s been edging himself for you. You whimper, high-pitched and muffled but it’s so beautiful that he forces his eyes open. You have one hand gripping the bedsheet like it’s your lifeline and you have the other bitten between your teeth to hold your sounds in. Your hips are grinding into him at an uneven, unsteady, desperate pace and he’s mesmerized by the sight.

He knew you wanted him. He didn’t know you needed him. You’re fucking yourself against his cock like you’ve been waiting for it your whole life. Your hand comes up to grip his shoulder instead of the bedsheet. He grunts and tilts his hips further into yours, a sadistic smirk coming to his face at the sound of exclamation that shoots from your mouth once you’re able to grind your clit against his shaft. Your thrusts start to stutter at that, your body constantly wanting to fold in on itself from the assault of pleasure but you try and will yourself to keep going. 

Unfortunately, your pace is ruined by your pleasure. Your sensitive body can’t handle how good his clothed cock is making you feel. You lose your pace and your pleasure becomes rocky and teasing. He watches as your face changes from pleasured to pouty. Little whimpers and whines of frustration slip from your lips, growing in volume and frequency the longer you’re unable to grind against him properly. Joel’s watching you through hooded eyes, fingers digging into your hips painfully at this point and all he wants is to not cum yet. He wants to make you cum first, he needs it, he needs to see it, to hear it. 

He’s been telling himself it’s fine because you’re grinding against him, not the other way around. You’re choosing this, there’s no way he’s manipulating you, or swaying your decision if he stays completely indifferent. But you’re begging him now. You’re gripping desperately at his shirt, removing your hand from your mouth to grip him harder and pulling yourself closer, wrapping your arms around and moaning right against his chest. He shouldn’t. He can’t. But he does.

His eyes shut tight as his hands leave your hips. You almost climb on top of him in protest, whining a loud “N- Please.” into his chest as your leg hikes higher onto his waist. One of his hands cradles your head, pulling you further into his chest, muffling the moans you’re already letting out at his touch. His other hand goes to the small of your back, pressing you against him perfectly and guiding your rhythm as your hips start up again. He dares to speak. “S’this okay, baby?”

Your reaction to his voice is visceral. Your hands shoot up to his shoulder and hair, pulling yourself up a bit to bury in his neck, getting a new angle from his cock, now fucking him against your leaking hole. “So good, Joey. Thank- Thank you s’much. Thank you, thank you.” Your gratitude is like a searing knife through him. His entire body is set alight as he tries to regulate his breathing. He can feel goosebumps break out on his skin, his pleasure filling every molecule in his body, ready to overflow for you. Fuck. He’s definitely going to cum before you. 

“Mm. Good, good girl. Just- Keep going, sweetness, take what— Shit. Take what you need, darlin’.” His breathing quickens and shudders as your hips increase their pace against him. He’s leaking continuously now, he’s getting in his head, trying to stop himself from cumming but every thought that pops into his mind just brings him closer to the edge. He can’t focus on anything but you. You’re moaning for him, grinding against him, this desperate for him. 

The hand on your lower back migrates to the back of your neck, gripping you there, holding you in place as his hips begin to thrust into yours. “M’gonna cum, darlin’. Fuck, I wanted t- wanted to last for y- Mmm oh fuck.” His entire body starts to tremble as your nails dig into him so painfully he’s sure they drew blood. Your eyes are comically wide as your body tenses in his hold before breaking down into a shudder that overtakes your entire being. You’re cumming. 

He explodes at the realization. In all his desperation, intoxication, and pure need… He was still able to make you cum first. He buries his face in your hair, huffing the scent as he floods his sweatpants. His eyes shut as tightly as they can as his orgasm tears through him. He’s been waiting so long for you to make him cum and now that it’s happening, it feels even better than he planned for. His low grunts turn into shocked moans when his orgasm doesn’t stop after shooting two ropes of cum against his sweats. You’re already coming down as he hits what feels like his second peak. You can feel his hands shaking over where they’re gripping you and you get an impulse that you act on without a second thought. 

Your hand slides down from his shoulder quickly, over the sliver of stomach he’s showing off, and right down his pants. You don’t know what you’re doing so you just grip him, wrapping your hand around his shaft but it seems to do the trick. He lets out a sound that resembles someone getting kicked in the gut. His face is pulled from your hair as his head is thrown back. He arches into you a bit before his hips start thrusting into your fist, desperately prolonging his already overwhelming orgasm. It’s embarrassing; how long he was cumming for, the way his body was violently quivering for you, the ludicrously large dark spot spreading over his pants, showcasing how much he came for you. 

He moans gently when he comes to. You’re stroking over his chest with a soft, sleepy, nervous smile. He pulls you in for a kiss before he can think about it. You guys haven’t discussed anything. Neither of you knows what this means for your relationship but you know that neither of you has felt more comfortable than when you’re in the arms of the other. So why question it now? 

You fall into a deep sleep listening to Joel’s heavy snores, getting rocked to bed by the way his chest expands. It’s the best sleep of your life. 

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!

psst psst. hey you!! i have a part 2 if u want 😏

[luvrxbunny]

saving it for you

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Joel goes away for 3 weeks and he’s saved himself for you.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol consumption, piv, unprotected sex, breeding kink, mating press

WC: 4.4k

A/N: Um Ellie is like 20 cus I say so (It’s easier for them to bond that way imo its not even plot-important)

The first thing Joel sees is your beautiful face smiling in the crowd and he can already feel the weight of the world lifting off of him. He hears the guys laughing, taking in the crowd’s applause but all he can focus on is you. You’re giving him that face that makes his heart clench, Ellie is standing by your side and the two of you look so perfect that he fears his heart might just stop. His two girls, smiling their dazzling smiles at him, waiting for him to come home. 

They pull into the stables and he dismounts his horse much faster than is safe, people are flooding into the small space trying to congratulate him but he brushes them off. His eyes scan every face he can see as he pushes through the crowd, looking for his girls. He’s getting restless, annoyed even, at the people praising and thanking him; they’re in his way. His responses get curter and a bit rude the longer it takes to get to you guys. He just misses you both, it’s been three weeks, the longest he’s been away and he feels like he might be losing his mind. He thinks about just screaming your name, you’d be sure to find him then. He’s not ready for the commotion that might cause, the looks he’d get.

“Joel? JOEL!!”

 Your voice has him sighing contentedly before he can even process that it’s you. The moment he whips around to find you, he’s frozen. The way the sunset is shining in your eye, the tears that are flowing down your cheeks, your trembling lips as you hold back your sobs. He opens his arms, feeling emotion build up his throat and behind his eyes, as you both crash into him. It knocks all the air out of him but he’s so grateful for the ache in his chest because it’s immediately healed by the warmth of you two. That’s what he’s missed the most, your warmth, both of you.

Tears are flowing down his cheeks as he keeps both of your faces in his chest. He’s mumbling about how much he’s missed you both. Ellie is already complaining and struggling out of his hold. You on the other hand, are gripping him as tightly as you can, almost tearing his clothes, he can feel your sobs vibrating into his jacket, damp from where you’re tears are falling.

Eliie escapes with a remark of “Gonna fuckin’ suffocate me” and he lets it go, opting to focus on you instead. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you closer into his chest as he buries his face in your hair. You smell like strawberries, he missed it so much. He took one of your shirts with him but it lost your scent 3 days in… he missed it.

You shift your arms from around his torso to around his neck and finally place a wet kiss on his mouth. His hand is behind your head, pushing you into his lips in an instant. He tries not to moan into you, he’s aware that people around but god is it a task. He pulls away to see you and his knees almost buckle when you pull him back in, hands tangled in his hair and whimpering so gently when your lips meet again.

“Okay okay, alright break it up”

He can hear Ellie protest next to him and feels your smile against his lips, a little giggle slipping through. He wipes his tears before you can see them and smiles at you, watching you laugh at Ellie. Two more things he missed, watching you both interact and your fucking smile. You take his breath away as he watches your easy banter with Ellie, your arms still wrapped around his neck, he’s still inhaling your scent. 

The moment breaks when someone bumps into you, detaching your arms from him with a yelp. Ellie grabs you with quickly as you both laugh, quickly brushing it off, It irks Joel but he moves on. 

“It seems like everyone is heading to Tipsy!” Ellie is wiggling her eyebrows, she wants to go and you seem supportive. “I think we should go!” Your voice is all he can focus on, not what you saying but how you saying it, the way you say it, he’s missed it. You’re looking at him expectantly as you finish listing off why you think they should go. “So Joel? I’ll go with you to drop your stuff off and we’ll meet Ellie at Tipsy?”

He’s nodding at you, a little sluggish as Ellie begins to walk away. You grab his duffle from off the top of his pack and his back is instantly grateful. He whispers a small, “Thank you, baby.” and you press a kiss to his lips quickly and smile up at him. “I’ve missed hearing you say that”

The walk home is relatively peaceful, you tell him about everything that happened while he was away. He watches you ramble on fondly, his heart swells when he notices you start to huff, struggling with his bag. You drop it with a groan when you both reach the porch and he brings it inside with a chuckle as you whine outside. “No! I have to carry it in! Joel!!” You groan frustratedly behind him, he turns around to see you pouting, actually upset. “Joel it doesn’t count this way!”

He embraces you where you stand in the doorway his legs spread, pressing his whole body against you as he rocks you side to side. “I’ve missed you so much, baby. You’ve got no fuckin’ clue.” He can feel your cheeks press into his chest from your smile right before pushing him away. “Uh-huh, I’m sure. C’mon”

You grab his duffle and make your way upstairs, he follows behind you, trying and actively failing to keep his eyes off your hips, your ass, the way they move as you make your way up the stairs, he’s missed it. 

His thoughts wander as you both make your way to your shared bedroom. 

The moment he’s in there with you, blood starts rushing south. He can’t help it, it’s been so long and the room engulfs him in your scent. He adjusts his pants as he puts his pack down, pushing it under the bed. He can see you’ve been sleeping on his side, your pillow taking your spot, you’ve been sleeping with his. He gestures at the setup when you finish placing his bag in the closet. “What’s happenin’ here, honey?”

You go rigid and avert your gaze with a nervous smile. “I really missed you, Joel.” You look over at him adorably before making your escape, hurrying downstairs. He takes a moment to compose himself, adjusting his pants one more time before heading down. 

You guys walk back with silent smiles for a little while before you speak up. “Your side smells like you… along with your pillow, that’s why I was using them.” You’re kicking a rock across the sidewalk as you speak. “Uh-huh… An’ your pillow?” You giggle down at the sidewalk before responding. “I missed you! The bed just- it was so big without you, the pillow made it a little bearable.” You chuckle lightly at yourself but what you’re saying makes his heart hurt.

He hated having to leave you, he refused it for quite some time but Tommy insisted, saying that Joel was the best they had, he couldn’t let his brother down and you didn’t want him to.

“Huh.” His response embarrasses you a bit, you start wishing you hadn’t told him, feeling a little uncomfortable. “Y’know… I took your shirt.” Your head snaps up to look at him and your eyes meet for a moment, shock and love written all over your face as you watch him avoid your eyes. “The uh- the pink one you wear to bed.” You see a blush rise to his ears as you gasp. “I was looking for that one!”

A shy smile splits his face as you hit his arm. “ ‘M sorry it smells like you! Or smelled I guess”

You watch him with such admiration as you guys arrive at the bar. You can hear people talking inside and you know it’s going to be a long night. 

The town is alive tonight, music is playing and you’re dancing with Ellie. You’ve been drinking with her too, keeping pace with her even though everyone knows you’re a lightweight. Joel has reserved himself to the back corner after making his rounds, letting people give their thanks and praise. He’s just watching you know, watch you realize you can’t keep up with Ellie and switch yourself to water, pride inflates his chest. 

My girl.

His breathing becomes shallow as he continues to watch you dance. He watches you get barely appropriate with Ellie, he knows the two of you are friends but… c’mon. He considers breaking you guys up but then your favorite song plays and he watches the joy spread on your face. He watches you jump up and down with Ellie, both of you singing lyrics at each other.

He loves how you are with her, he cannot believe how lucky he got with you. He continues thinking about you as he walks over to the bar for his 2nd glass. Ignoring the blood rushing south.

As the night progresses Ellie makes her way over to Maria, who she goes home with. You’ve started drinking again while dancing alone, Joel is still watching from the corner, a little drunk as he finishes his 4th glass. He places the empty glass on the bar before making his way over to you. People continue to block his path, attempting to talk to him but he shrugs them all off. He needs to get to you. His pants are tighter by the time he reaches you. He’s standing behind you and he knows you know he’s there. 

You whine and press yourself back against him. “Missed you so so much, baby.”

He twitches against you when he hears the love name. It’s been too fucking long. 

You turn with a wild look in your eyes as you press the palm of your hand to the bulge in his pants. It feels so fucking good, watching the way you bite your lip as he moans, he watches your face scrunch up. “Oh gotta lemme make you cum.” You’re a little tipsy, your words slurring against each other, your eyes hooded, maybe more from arousal than alcohol. 

Joel tenses a bit from your words, you take it as a good sign and continue, 

“We could go in the back booth, the bathroom, I wanna touch you.” You’re pouting at him now as he begins to shake his head.

 “No, let's just go home, love.” He’s pressed his forehead against yours, panting against your face as you palm him. 

He can feel it when your eyebrows furrow and you stop touching him with a grunt, “Joe,” his name comes out wrong, the ‘L’ getting lost behind your soft lips making him chuckle before kissing “You can’t even walk home like that! Lemme make you cum first Joey please”

Joel is getting a little nervous now, he can’t cum yet, not like this. “Sweetheart, they- they’re closing soon anyway. We’d just be an inconvenience.” Joel is speaking a little sternly, trying to convince you to just go home but what he’s saying is not getting through to you. You’re wearing a smirk on your face, thinking that he’s just playing hard to get. You press a kiss to his collarbone before pushing your hand down his pants, only to be stopped by him instantly. “Sweetie… C’mon..”

This rejection you comprehend. “I- I’m sorry Joel. I thought maybe you were just saying that… I’m so sorry obviously we can just go home.” You look so upset at yourself, thinking that you made him uncomfortable, and pushed his boundaries.

You’re looking at the ground now and you’re about to turn around to start walking home when Joel grabs your arm to hold you in place. “Baby, I want to. I swear on everythin’ I want it so fuckin’ bad but I- fuck I-” He’s looking to the side as he tries to gather his thoughts and confidence. “I’ve been-” His voice is different, he sounds embarrassed, whiny even. “I’ve been saving it for you”

You feel like all the air has been knocked from your lungs and heat begins to burn in your stomach. You’re still staring at him, in shock at what he’s just confessed. There’s no way that he means it in the way you’re thinking right now.

 He probably just means his energy! He saved his energy for sex! That’s what he means you creep.

“Right. You don’t wanna waste your energy here… I get that.” Joel is red, embarrassed that you misunderstood what he said. He grabs your hand and starts walking home, the tightness in his jeans getting unbearable. 

The moon is shining beautifully as you guys walk home. Joel hasn’t explained himself yet. You think that you’ve made him a little uncomfortable and that’s what is causing the silence between you two.

Joel trails behind you, watching the way your hips move, trying to muster up the courage to fully explain himself to you. He’s leaking in his boxers uncomfortably, his mind is running rampant with thoughts of what he’s gonna do once you both get home. The way he’s gonna fill you up.

He jogs a bit so he can catch up with you one house before you guys. “Honey, I wasn’t talkin’ about my energy.” Your head snaps to look at him but he’s looking at his boots, hands in his pockets as you both continue walking. “I haven’t uh-” He chuckles and shakes his head at the ground, his eyes closing for a moment. “I haven’t gotten off since- uh since I left. That’s what I’ve been savin’… not my energy.” You’re silent for a bit after he finishes and it makes him nervous. He risks a glance at your face and realizes that you aren’t there. You stopped walking. He looks back to find you a few steps away, staring at him. Your chest is heaving as he watches you process his words, uneasy as he awaits your reaction and response. 

He gets nothing however, you just start walking again. He trails behind you again as you both arrive at the house and walk inside. You hold the door open for Joel, he normally protests but he decides to just accept it this one time. It clicks and locks gently behind him as he stands in the dark living room. He’s thinking about how to approach you, he feels that you’re upset but it doesn’t change the fact that he needs you. He wouldn’t be able to handle the pain of just sleeping next to you.

You turn around after closing the door to see Joel just standing in the living room. You take this time to examine him, you memorize the expanse of his back, all its broadness and the muscles that ripple as he stretches his neck and arms. You feel your need for Joel continue to gather between your legs as you walk up behind him. You lift your hands to his back gently before coming up to his stomach and chest as you press your body against him, hugging him from behind. 

Joel moans as you run your hands over his front while pressing your chest against his back in a way that has his cock jumping from within its confines. He huffs out before placing his hands over yours where the rest is on his lower stomach, just above where he needs you the most. His pelvis refuses to stop tensing under your hands, his hips tilting upward against his will when he feels your lips on the back of his neck. “I’d like to ask you why, Joel” He almost drops his head back into yours when he hears your whisper behind him. “I- fuck, sweetheart. I wanna cum in you, fill you all up.” He removes your hands and turns around to face you, smashing his lips against yours the first moment he can. 

He’s groaning into your mouth as you unbutton his pants and his shirt. He separates your lips from his and reattaches them onto your neck. His hands place themselves under your shirt, moaning as they run over the expanse of your stomach before coming to unclip your bra. You’re almost overwhelmed with how Joel is all over you. Your hands are buried in his hair pulling him away from your neck to take your shirt off. Joel is disheveled as he watches you undress, revealing your adorable pink underwear, his favorite pair. He’s touching himself, his hand down his pants tugging at his cock as you lay yourself out on the couch. He watches you smile up at him before reaching down to touch yourself, spreading your wetness over your clit before circling it gently, your hips coming off the couch to press up into your fingers. Joel’s hips twitch and he yanks his hand out of his pants, grunting out a gruff “Fuck you, honey.” As you giggle and moan on the couch, you watch Joel take his shirt and pants off before walking over to the couch.

He towers over your body, inspecting every inch. Joel just rakes his eyes up and down your naked body, his cock twitching between his legs as he does. He stays watching you for what feels like hours before he finally touches your leg. You think finally as he lifts it, opening your legs and exposing your wet pussy to him. A moan slips through his lips as he sees the mess you’ve made between your legs, his knees weakening and dropping him to the ground. 

A whine shoots out of your lips when he hits the ground, it evolves into a moan when Joel rests his head on your open thigh, kissing gently into your pussy. You can feel your other leg resting between his thighs and against his bulge, as he makes himself comfortable. You watch Joel’s eyes roll back as he slowly licks a stripe up your pussy, collecting as much of your taste as he can before you pull at his hair, forcing him up and out from between your legs. “Joel! You said you wanted to fill me up.” You try to use an accusatory tone but it comes out more like a whine, especially with the pout you’re holding on your face. 

Joel smiles at you sweetly before pulling himself up onto the couch and pushing your thigh against your torso to make room for him between your legs. You reach your hands up to his desperately, pulling him in for a kiss as you try to pull his hips flush against yours. His hands come up to cradle your face as he kisses you, then use them to pull your face away from his. “Calm down, sweetheart. I still gotta stretch you out, It’s been so long since you’ve had something to properly fill this hole right, baby?” You just moan his name back at him in response. 

His thick hands run down your face and down to your pussy, running his fingers along your lips, parting them, and gathering your wetness before bringing it up to your clit so he can play with it. Joel leans back on his heels to kiss your womb as he pushes his first finger inside you. You both gasp, a loud, pleasured one at the stretch of his thick fingers from you and a soft aroused one at your warmth from Joel. “Joel- please just fuck me.”

You’re squirming against his fingers, and Joel has his head pressed to your chest as he fingers you. He listens to your heart speed up as he adds another finger, your hand comes up the side of his face to play in his hair as the other grips his forearm. Your whole body is arching into him in a way that makes him wanna cry; the way you yearn for him on such a basic, primal level, that your entire body needs to press against him. His cock is twitching and leaking against his thigh and you’re moaning right into his ear. 

“I think you’re stretched hm? I think you can take me now, baby.” Joel is worked up, his body is hot and he can't think straight. He’s been waiting for weeks. All the nights he spent in his sleeping bag, your shirt pressed against his face as he grinded against the hard ground willing himself not to cum, or the sex dreams that plauged him after the first week, that had him waking up hard with nothing to solve it. He’s pent-up and throbbing as he presses against your entrance. The wetness that has gathered there coats his tip and has him groaning and playing with your clit as he coats himself in it.

You’re grinding your hips up at him, trying to force him inside you. His eyes are misty, wild, and desperate as he finally pushes inside you. He inches his way in as you grip his arms and moan at him. He pauses halfway, trying to calm himself down as you whine and clench down on him. “C’mon, darlin’... can’t last if you keep up like this.” He groans out at you and brings his hand up to stop your hips from moving, leaving your clit pulsing at the loss of stimulation. He listens to your moans as he keeps pushing himself in, he listens to your breathy whine of relief when he presses his thumb to your clit again. He finally presses himself in you fully, he can feel your walls against him, sucking him in. He’s missed it so much, he’s been dreaming about this moment for two fucking weeks, and he’s been edging himself for days fantasizing about his moment.

 He’s stopped breathing, he can’t breathe because you’re already pulsing around him, your thighs twitching from where they’re resting against his hips. Your feet come up to lock together behind him, pulling him in as you cum all over him, coating him in it as your pussy milks his cock. “No fuckin’ way, no-” His sentence devolves into a whine as he tries not to cum, he tries to shut his eyes and think unsexy thoughts but he can’t block out your moans, the way you’re leaking on him or the way you’re squeezing him like you want his cock to stay in you forever. “No, baby- please- fuck” He’s panting and grunting against your face as his hips buck into you, setting off explosions in your stomach. 

“Not gonna make me fuckin’ cum.” He thrusts hard into you. “Saved this load up for you so I could breed you” He lifts both your legs over his shoulders and you watch his eyelids flutter before pressing into you. “Gonna make this a proper breedin’ session, yeah?” You can barely understand what he’s saying, your head is in the clouds as goosebumps rise all across your skin. Your body is insanely sensitive from your orgasm and the arousal of his homecoming but Joel doesn’t care, he needs this, he needs you.

He buries his head in your neck as your pussy suffocates him, groaning out as he fucks himself into you. His cock punches into your cervix again and again, his cock twitching inside of you like a second heartbeat as you moan in his ear. You’re moaning unashamed, too far out of your head to care about how you might sound, especially to your neighbors or any passerby and it's fucking him up. “Yeah, good girl. Keep moanin’ for me like that.” He pulls out of your neck to thrust harder, grunting as his eyes roll back. 

You’re clawing at him, moaning and writhing as you feel a coil begin to tighten. 

“Holy fu- Joel!” His eyebrows furrow as his hips start stuttering, losing their rhythm as he begins to whimper for you. “Sweetheart…” He tries to get his rhythm back, thrusting into your pussy as perfectly as he can. “So close, baby. Please just a little more.” You’re moans get increasingly breathy as you get closer and closer to your second orgasm of the night. 

“Cum with me sweetheart, please. I wanna feel it, saved it all for you c’mon-” He’s rambling as he gets closer to releasing his load into you. His eyes roll back and he’s panting as he tries to keep up the pace whining when he feels you start to tighten around him, groaning as he thrusts harder, and starts toying with your clit again. Your body convulses, folding in on itself as you start cumming around him. 

His groans get higher in pitch and closer together as his cock pulses inside you. He listens to your orgasm crash over and pride swells in him, he opens his eyes to look back down at you and cums deep inside you.

He moans hard and painfully above you like he got punched in the gut. He leans down to press a kiss against your lips but quickly pulls away to moan your name. His cock throbs out thick ropes inside you, you can feel him filling you up, coating your walls and cervix in his sperm. His orgasm feels like it goes on for hours as he bucks into you. “Fuckin’ take it, my love. It’s better than I imagined, feels so good, honey.”

He rambles on as he keeps thrusting into you gently, prolonging his orgasm. 

He’s huffing and puffing as he comes down from his high. He releases your thighs, letting them fall over his hips so that he can pull out and press his body against yours, your stomach pressing against yours. 

You force yourself up to a semi-sitting position and grab the blanket off the back of the couch to cover the both of you. You wrap Joel in the blanket and lay back down. He feels your hands run up his back, stroking over the wide expanse of it before running themselves through his hair and pushing his face to yours. You kiss him gently and sweetly, with all the love you have. He kisses back with the same emotion, causing you to smile on his lips.

A sleepy chuckle leaves his lips before laying his head on your chest, listening to your heart rate slow. His skin breaks out in goosebumps when you massage his scalp, a satisfying groan leaves his chest as you smile. “What?” You giggle out at him, scratching lightly. 

“I fuckin’ missed this. I missed you.” He gently nuzzles into your stomach as his eyes begin to droop.

You smile as warmth blooms in your chest. “I missed you more.”

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[luvrxbunny]

soft

pairing: post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Joel teaches you how to be soft.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, feelings, piv, unprotected sex, slight overstimulation, kinda subby Joel at the end (lmk if i forgot anything)

wc: 4.0k

a/n: if you've read my fic 'soft' then you've already read this. this is the end! i hope u guys enjoyed!!

|| pt.1 || pt.2 || pt.3 || pt.4 ||

Confusion flows through your mind but you go along with him, assuming it’s just some outdated terminology. “Yeah? You gonna fuck me in your bed, Joel?” He is so shocked by your response. He doesn’t understand why you’re being so aggressive about it. He’s trying to be gentle, and loving but you seem to reject it. He gives you a brief but genuine smile before leading you to his room, his hand in yours. 

Your heart is racing as you follow Joel to his bedroom. This would be the first time you’ll be having sex with someone you care about, someone you love. You wondered if it would feel any different when he was shattering your hips with his own, would there still be that soft look of adoration in his eyes? You don’t see how the two could go together. 

You get to his room and he shuts the door quietly. “Can you stay still, honey?” He rolled his sleeves up, only halfway, showing off his thick forearms. He’s circling you as he questions you, holding eye contact and stopping in front of you. “I- I wanna undress you.”

Your throat feels like it’s closed. 

Undress me? Why would he want to- That doesn’t seem very time-efficient… Oh, but look at him. 

His eyes are silently and subconsciously begging you to let him. You let him. 

He takes a deep breath and his eyes rake down your body the moment you nod at him. He grabs your hips, pulling you to him with a boyish grin before running his fingers along the hem of your shirt. They tickle your skin softly as he brings them up, bunching the fabric before pulling it over your head. He looks right into your eyes as he does this. That soft look digs into your chest, it feels like you may explode. 

He only breaks away from your gaze to throw your shirt on a chair in the corner. He brings his empty hand to cup your cheek, stroking his thumb across your skin as a sort of apology for diverting his attention. He looks back at you with a smile so gentle you may melt. 

Your knees almost give out when he unbuttons your pants, he sticks his thumbs in the back of your waistband, leaning into you. He’s so close. He’s so close. He’s smirking like he knows you want to kiss him. He leans forward, licking his lips before abruptly ducking down, pulling your pants with him. 

You let out a surprised squeal that has him smiling up at you. Your hand comes up to bury itself in his hair before you realize it. You admire the softness of it, how fluffy it is. His eyes droop, getting a foggy, clouded look in them as he stares up at you. 

Make it good for him! Everyone likes it rough. 

You pull it, much harder than necessary, and watch his eyebrows crease in what you assume is arousal as he grunts again. He lifts from his kneeling position and kisses you, a little harder than he did before. 

His hands were running down your back, cupping your ass, and then stroking down your thighs. He’s breathing heavily against your face as his hands squeeze your inner thigh. They roam all over your body but never go where you want them, where you need them. 

“Okay, Joel. Enough I need you. I- I need you.” He smiles underneath his bitten lip as you push him away and gesture to his entire body. “Take them off… Off!” 

You’re basically ripping your undergarments off and running to him, unbuttoning his shirt for him as he takes off his pants. The moment your hands push his shirt open he’s kissing you instead. He walks you both onto the bed, tripping over his pants with a giggle before landing safely on the covers. You waste no time in climbing over him, whining out when his cock rubs along your soaked pussy. He lifts himself to try and kiss you but you’re not looking at him. You’re trying to push his dick into your soaking, aching pussy. 

“Shit- Damn. Fuck, honey.” He slams himself back onto the bed, his hands tighten around your hips as you position your legs beneath you and slam your hips onto him. It fucking burns. You’re wet and open but he’s huge, the stretch of his fat cock burns inside you as his tip jams itself into your cervix painfully. You bit off more than you can chew. Joel is grunting harshly beneath you so you power through, attempting to hide your grimace as you let out half-honest moans. 

“Fuck- No. No, no, stop, baby.” His hands force you down and hold you there, rendering you immobile as he sits up. You’re watching his abs clench as he sits up with no assistance but his pure muscle, they only move to his face when he clears his throat. 

You’re embarrassed now, under the impression that you’ve done something wrong, something he didn’t like. You wouldn’t know what to do if that were the case… You were doing what you normally do… You don't know any special moves or anything like that. “Did- You didn’t like it..?”

You ask as timidly as possible, hoping he could hear it and would be gentle. 

“I- I mean I guess but it’s not what I want.” Confusion and a bit of anger flares inside you. How were you supposed to know what he wanted? 

“Okay well, what do you want then, Joel?” His brows furrow and he brings a hand up to caress your face again. 

“I want to make love to you. I told you that.” There’s that fucking term again. 

“I don’t know what that means, Joel! Isn’t it the same as fucking? I don’t get it.” His brows unfurrow instantly, becoming soft and a bit upturned in what seemed to be concern. And to add insult to injury… you can feel him softening inside you. 

“What do you mean?” His voice is much softer than yours, but it frustrates you. You struggle not to roll your eyes at him. 

“I do not know what that means. I do not understand.” You talk slower than necessary, not actually explaining anything. You’re being a brat. He tilts his head at you, giving a gut-wrenching, disappointed look. He kisses your cheeks and tells you to be nice, that he’s just trying to understand you.

“No… It’s not the same as fuckin’. It’s gentle and lovin’. It’s me takin’ my time with you, gettin’ you to open up for me.” You can feel his dick filling back up, stretching you out beautifully. “It’s me learnin’ about what you like, showin’ you what I think you’d like, and getting you to cum around me and for me as long as I can. It’s more focused on- on love rather than lust. I’m- I’m bettin’ you’ve never had that though…” 

You hear sadness leak into his voice as he ends his sentence, watching you avert your gaze. He watches frustration and shame creep onto your face. “So what? I don’t even- I don’t think I even like it that way. Slow? It already takes me long enough to cum… I don’t need to be here for hours on end, Joel.”

He shakes his head at you sadly. “You would like it, baby.” He has one hand back on your hip as the other spreads out, his large hand spread over your back as he slowly flips you both over. “I- fuck, I know you’d love it, honey.” His words resonate deep in your core, bringing a new wave of wetness to run over his cock. “Oh-” His hips stutter into yours as though he could feel the extra cream flowing over his dick. “Yeah, oh you’d- I think you’ll like it, darlin’”

He places you on the bed and finishes talking before kissing you and raising to straighten himself out. His hips thrust slowly into yours and fuck does it feel good. I mean of course it does, Joel is towing over you like a Greek god and his cock is sliding within your walls smoothly, stimulating every nerve it comes across. You start to buck your hips, impatient with the slow build of the pleasure. You wanted something explosive, something that will leave you heaving for breath and you cannot comprehend how you could possibly get there like this. 

Joel smiles, shakes his head at your agitation, and presses his hands down onto your sporadic hips, forcing them to stay on the bed. “No. Softly, baby. Be gentle with me, c’mon.” He continues his rhythm before, rocking into you with breathless pants. Your pleasure felt just out of reach and it was insanely maddening. “Calm down.” He tells you in a low, warning tone. You swear he can read your mind. 

“Tell me.” He leans down so his lips are right by your ear. He places a kiss on your temple and looks down at where the two of you connect, shoving his hair in your face. “Do you like this?” He keeps at his regular pace, the frustrating, agitating, insanely maddening pace. “Or… Do you-” He lets out a shuddering sigh right next to your ear, your eyes nearly rolling back at the faint sound. “Or do you like this?”

His pace changes into something indescribable. His hips are swiveling into yours and hitting eighteen different pleasure points at once. Your arms come up to grip his biceps, one instantly sliding down to his lower back to encourage him to keep it up. “Oh-” You sound shocked and out of breath. “Oh. I like that one, Joel. This one. I like this one- please” His pace speeds up and he moans at the sound of your whimper. His attention is finally pulled from where you both meet and he’s looking right into your eyes. This man and his fucking eye contact. 

It’s doing something to you… the way he’s looking at you. It’s burning into your stomach and has you clenching around him, pulling another ragged, angelic moan from his lips, hitting your lips directly due to his position. You lean up and kiss him as much as you can, most of your brain had shut off the moment he flipped you both over. 

He was hitting so deep inside you, a whole section that you didn't know existed. His cock is slowly sliding over every ridge in your pussy, his veins stimulating your sensitive walls. “Joel-” 

It slips out like a whimper as your moans release. You’re suddenly on 100% volume, unable to hold anything in. You never learned how. You thought you just didn’t moan against your own will, never having been in enough pleasure to let out authentic moans. 

Your hand comes from his lower back to slap over your mouth, desperately trying to hold all your noises in but Joel rips it away. “Don’t do- fuck you feel so fuckin’ good- Fuck, don’ cover up your- your moans, please. Fuck I wanna hear ‘em” He intertwines your fingers with his and holds your hand next to your head. He straightens himself as much as he can while keeping your fingers interlocked so he can grind into you more deliberately. He’s angling himself a million different ways until you convulse onto yourself. You try to hold in a scream as he fucks into… something. It’s almost painful, the way pleasure punches through your body with every thrust. 

“Yeah?- God fuckin’ dammit."

His hips stutter as you involuntarily suffocate his dick in your pussy. “Fuck- Is that it? Your special spot, honey? I got it dead on, huh?” He’s wearing an irritatingly calm smirk as he teases you. You, on the other hand, can barely breathe.

You’re clawing at anything you can get a hold of, his arms, the back of his neck, his back. You feel like you could cry- or throw up at the otherworldly pleasure Joel is forcing onto you. Your mouth is perpetually open, spewing out moans every other second. Your eyes keep rolling back into your head despite your attempts to look at Joel. You can’t even wrangle together enough thoughts to coherently explain how good it feels, how good he’s making you feel. “Jo- Joel. F-” You’re cut off with a whine as he pushes himself into you more forcefully. “Joey, please- You’re right it’s s’much better. Shit- Joel!-” You let out a more devastating moan than you have all night, causing Joel to groan out in response. Your eyes open to look at him and he’s staring right at you, his eyes are something you’ve never seen, they’re dark and threatening, like a lion stalking its prey. But in this situation the lion is in love with the gazelle, it’s evident in his eyes, all over his fucking face as he moans for you. 

“Of course ‘m r- right- Fuck, you’ve really got no clue how- how fuckin’-” His statement melts into a whimpering moan as he bends back down to moan into your ear. “You feel fuckin’ heavenly, darlin’.”

It creeps up on you out of fucking nowhere. A moan rips through your chest and destroying throat as you cum around him, his words pushing you to the edge. “Oh fu-uck. Yeah? S’that good, baby? Fuckin’- fuckin’ c-cumming all over my cock with no warning, love? Oh fuck me you’re s-so good, sweetheart.” 

His words fuel your world-demolishing, soul-shattering, mind fuckingly amazing orgasm. You can feel the pleasure coursing through your veins like molten gold. Your entire body is vibrating, you’re lifting off the bed into an ethereal plane as Joel keeps thrusting into you, moaning soft praises in your ear as you gush all over his cock. Your eyes are permanently in the back of your skull as your hand runs frantically all over his body, trying to find something to ground you, to keep you from flying away on the cloud of pleasure Joel was providing for you. 

He slows his thrusts in favor of you. Your moans had begun to get a bit desperate, all over the place, feverish and distraught as your pleasure bubbled over into overstimulation. Joel is kissing your neck softly, whispering even more soft words laced with love as your soul returns to your body with a broken whine of his name. He pulls his face out of your neck with a smile, his hips still thrusting into you slowly, just toeing the line of overstimulation. It has you losing your mind. You’re writhing against him as he smirks at you. “Do you want more? I can keep going, baby. I’ll go slow, soft, just like this.” 

He gets a bit breathy at the end, his free hand comes up to cup your face as the one holding yours tenses for a moment. His head drops onto your shoulder as most of his body collapses onto you. He’s still thrusting into you gently as he groans out against your neck. “Fuck me. You’re turning me into a fuckin’ teenager again. Can’t fuckin’ control shit. O-oh I wanna make you cum again, sweetheart.” His hips speed up as he rambles to you. You lean away from him a bit, forcing his head from your shoulder, and turn to look at him. 

He looks so wrecked. His lips are trembling, glossy, and red from all his biting. You didn't even notice. His eyes are on yours but they regularly lose focus, crossing gently or rolling into his head with a groan. “You’re makin’ me feel so fucking good, love. I just want you to feel as good- I wanna make you cum again.” He sounds more desperate than you could’ve ever imagined, your hand slides up the back of his neck and buries itself in his hair, scratching at his scalp softly, causing his eyes to cross lightly as he moans against you, hips stuttering. “Let me. Let me, let me. Let me pl-lease”

His unabashed begging has you clenching around him erratically, pulling a ruined groan from his lips. “M-make me cum again, Joel. C’mon, baby. I want-” He’s already moaning into your mouth as you speak, his hips fucking into you unsteadily. You’re already close from the intensity of the moment, Joel’s hand cradling your face, your hand in his hair. His head is resting against yours, forehead to forehead but his eyes are still open, piercing your soul and your heart with the love that's residing in them, it has your pussy clenching around him desperately. He’s moaning out shamelessly, loudly, and right into your face, into your mouth. 

“I’m gonna- I need you to c-cum. Holy sh-” You cut him off with a wet, searing kiss that’s mostly groans and whines into the mouth of the other. Your hips lift off the bed to buck into him softly, grinding your clit into the patch of curls that rests on his pelvis. He’s smiling at your movements, the contrast in how they were when he started with you. “Y-yeah. Good, baby. Soft. Just l-like that, sweetheart. You’re so fuckin’ pure.” His eyes roll back into his head as your pussy begins to flutter around him. You can feel it this time, building inside you. The coil in your stomach tightens as you feel the angelic feeling inch back into your veins. Your hands grip his hair more desperately, pulling his ear to your lips as your orgasm begins to spill over. 

“I’m- I’m cumming, Joey.” You’re voice stabs into him. The high-pitched and desperate, shocked innocence in it has him twitching inside you. His pace is ruined the moment you utter those words into his ear. He can feel his eyes cross and shoot to the back of his head as he falls into your shoulder again and starts to cum inside you. 

It’s more than heavenly, cumming at the same time as you. His cock is throbbing, shooting out thick, heavy, ropes of his cum inside you as your pussy pulses in time with him, milking him for everything he has. He can’t breathe, all the air has punched out of him as he tries to warn you that he’s cumming. He wants to moan out for you, call your name over and over to hear you work yourself up into those whining moans you can’t help but let out. He gathers enough strength to push himself up and look at you. He feels like a whole new round of cum spews out of him at the sight. Your eyes are crossed as you moan out at the ceiling. He’s vaguely aware of the way your hand has twisted and tightened in his hair as you cum, your nails digging into his other hand. He’s smiling through the second round of cum that pumps into you, deliriously happy with how hard he’s made you cum. You sound like you’re in the same situation as him, all the air suddenly gone from your lungs. You’re just letting out barely perceptible moans of his name on loop. 

His thighs shake as his dick finally stops pouring into you. He looks down at the ring of white sitting on the base of his dick and groans. He looks back up at you, wanting to show you the mess you’ve made on him but you’re still so far gone. Your pussy pulses around him arrhythmically as you mutter up at the ceiling, your hand stroking through his hair subconsciously. 

He’s able to come down before you. He pulls out and lays next to you, his head on your chest while he’s muttering those same, soft praises into your ear as your soul tries to find its way back to your body again. You follow the sound of his low praises, grounding you and pulling you back to reality. “-baby. I’m so in love with you. Thank you so fuckin’ much for waitin’ for me, I know it was hard, but I love you so fuckin’ much. You’re so incredible, so so incredible, baby. The best lady I know, the only lady I wanna know. You-” You have a faint, tired smile spreading across your face as he goes on, sounding more out of it than you feel.

“I love you so much, Joel.” You mean to say it softly, fondly but it comes out as something more like a sob. He gasps and looks up at you, that’s when you notice the tears that have escaped your eyes. “This is so embarrassing…” Your hands wipe at your escapee tears furiously as Joel watches you in shock.

“Hey,” He starts to wipe some of your tears away alongside you, although much more softly than your own hands. “ S’not embarrasin’.” He places an endearing kiss to your lips. “I think it’s so fuckin’ cute. The cutest things I’ve seen in years, honestly.” 

You giggle at his exaggeration and kiss his cheeks. “I’m bein’ serious, baby.” He’s giggling too now, placing kisses all over your face, stopping every tear that slips out with his lips.

“I love you so much, Joel.” You take a deep breath as his kisses slow. “It feels like my heart is being choked, squeezed, and like thrown around in my chest whenever I’m with you. I don’t even have the vocabulary to explain how much I feel for you.”  His eyes are wide and a bit watery as you speak. One hand is on the top of your head, running over your hair as you speak while the other is on your him, his thumb stroking over the skin, sometimes lifting to draw specific patterns. “I wish I had a way to make you feel what I feel toward you, Joel. It’s so fucking much. I feel like it’s gonna explode and pour out of every orifice.” He chuckles and kisses you again, this one feels more emotional, more loving, grateful, and comforting. 

“There you go, talkin’ all proper again.” He kisses you again shortly. “I- I feel the same way darlin’. Except I know even less words to use to explain it to ‘ya. Fuck I- I fuckin’ I wish I could tell ‘ya. You- You feel like- like my whole world. If that makes sense… No, no it doesn’t, does it? Damn. I- Shit.” You place a hand on his face and make him look at you. 

“You don’t have to say as many things as I did. You’ve already shown me that you love me, through your actions… through this. I didn’t even know it could be like that, Joel. That it could- could feel that… good. I didn’t know it was a thing and then you came in- with all your love and softness and you showed me a whole new side of everything. I already know… is what I’m trying to say. I know you love me, Joel. I just hope you know that I love you.”

A single tear slips out of his baby cow eyes and he quickly wipes it away with a smile. “I- I know, baby. Trust me, I know.” He smiles wider and brighter than you’ve ever seen, he’s blinding you with its beauty before laying back down on the bed next to you. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you onto him. 

“You’re gonna stay right? Sleep in here with me?” You shake your head, disapointedly, against his stomach.

“Obviously I’m staying here, Joel.” The sigh of relief he lets out almost breaks your heart. You place a few kisses on his belly for reassurance. “I’m not going anywhere.”

When he chuckles at it he sounds far away, sleepy, adorable. “Okay… Good. Good, I want you to stay… ‘M gettin’ tired though, honey.” As if on cue a yawn makes its way up and out of your throat. “Yeah me too. Goodnight, Joey.”

He sighs and you can’t see it, but a smile splits his face the moment he hears the nickname. “G’night, my love.”

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist! or send me some motivation here!

[luvrxbunny]

look at me

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: The way you look at Joel proves to be an issue for him.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, piv, unprotected sex (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 2.1k

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve ever written, also the first smut so please be gentle

Joel is so in love with you, that you almost don’t know how to handle it. He looks at you like you’re everything to him.. after Ellie of course.

When you first started pursuing Joel you didn’t expect him to fall for you. After all he’s been through you weren’t entirely sure he was capable of loving someone that way, romantically. Nevertheless, you wanted him to know you were interested. You wanted to be his person at least. You figured it was better than nothing, this way you can project your love onto him without him being too uncomfortable. 

You just needed him to know that he was loved by you, greatly.

The results of pursuing Joel were exponentially better than you could've ever hoped for. He loves you back, viciously. After a few months of outwardly loving Joel, having long deep conversations with him, and exchanging dreams, and opinions, he asked you, “Why are you… like this… towards me?” his southern accent drowned in genuine curiosity. 

You answered him honestly “I want you to feel the love I have for you.. I think you deserve it”. You’ll never forget his reaction, the way his eyes widened. The way his chest expanded with his gasp before lunging at you desperate to press his lips against yours. You guys spent the rest of the night on his porch giggling and kissing like kids until you both fell asleep.

It's been a year since then and your love for Joel has only grown since. His love for you exploded, completely consuming him. 

He was closed off at first, still cautious of you and your supposed love for him. He was waiting for you to realize that you were wrong, that you didn't love him. 

That never happened. 

After realizing you were here to stay, his personality flipped.

 He was suddenly all over you, burying his face in your neck whenever he could, constantly wanting to be with you, to touch you. He regularly gets out of bed early just to make coffee and toast for you both. He’s attentive, he listens, and he wants to make you happy. He is caring, he makes sure that you get sunlight every day and that you’re drinking enough water. He likes to take you on walks, explaining things he sees, and the memories he has associated with them. He whispers loving words into your ears without being prompted, he just wants you to know.

However, with this intense love he has, also comes a certain amount of sensitivity he has when getting sexual with you.

You’re bouncing on his cock, your hips slapping wetly into his. He’s groaning out for you as you grind your hips into his desperately. Your face towards the ceiling as you moan out praises of his name. He moans in response “‘Ya like that, baby?” 

You pull your gaze downward as you keep bouncing on his cock. He’s doing most of the work at this point, pulling your hips up and dragging them back down to meet his. “I love it s’much” You fuck yourself on him faster, desperately chasing your release. “Joel- Fuck keep going please” 

You whine at him as you press your lips against his, and heat pools quickly in the bottom of your stomach. You meet his soft brown eyes, currently clouded with lust but he averts your gaze. 

He always does this, you can feel him staring at you. He watches your expression, sorting what you do and don’t like. He watches the pleasure bloom over your features, the way your eyebrows furrow when he presses into you. He watches the way your eyes roll back when he hits that spot inside you that makes your brain shut off. Every time you try to meet his eyes, to show how badly you need him. 

He avoids it.

He never mentions it but every time you guys lock eyes for that split second, his pace stutters. Anytime you try to see him, he opts for looking down at where his cock slides into you. It’s a beautiful sight but you were fed up with not having Joel’s attention.

“Oh look at that, sweetpea” He presses you down more, trying to fit his cock deeper into you. “Look at how well she takes me” He sounds like he's in disbelief, like he hasn't seen it countless times already. “Got the sweetest pussy wrapped ‘round my cock” His words just bring you closer and closer to release. This time, however, you refuse to cum without his eyes on you.

You place your hands on both sides of his head, your thumbs caressing his cheeks while you push yourself upward until it's only his tip inside you. He hissed loudly at the sudden cold air on him. He whips his head up to look at you and your hands lock in place. Your thumbs are placed underneath his chin so that he can’t look back down.  

You hold his face to yours before slowly starting your descent, keeping eye contact. You slide a quarter way down his cock before he’s burying his face in your neck, You stop and pull him back out. There’s a blush spreading across his features and his eyes are getting hazy. “Can’t look in your eyes darlin’” He slurs out to you, his hands wrapping around your waist, drawing random shapes on your back with his fingertips.

His eyes still avoid your gaze. “I’m not moving until you look at me, Joel”. There is a small amount of venom in your voice, frustrated that Joel refuses to look at you. You deflate a bit, hands coming off of his face and wrapping around your torso instead. “Do I look-”

He doesn’t even let you finish that sentence, “You look nothing but fucking amazin’”. A pout settles on your lips at his words, his resistance making even less sense to you now. “Then why-”

“Here” He pulls his face from your neck, all pinkish and warm. He looks directly into your eyes, he looks worried, a little tense. He pulls you forward against his hips. “This what ya’ want? Hm?”

You smile softly at his puppy dog eyes before slowly dropping yourself the rest of the way down. He presses up into you deliciously as you watch all the tension drain from his face. His shoulders drop, and his eyelids flutter almost closing while he lets his head fall back. He’s able to maintain eye contact until you grind your clit against his patch of gray and black hairs, moaning his name gently. His hands shoot to your hips to pull you deeper. His eyes slip shut as he moans out. “Fuck- sweetheart, I-”.  

He cuts himself off with a rough groan when you pull your hips back up. You lean forward to kiss him softly, he whines against your mouth and tries to tug your hips back down. He whimpers out a pathetic little “please.” You gush between your legs at the sound. You crave to give him what he wants… but his eyes are closed.

“Joel?” You speak his name softly, in a daze from how perfect his cock feels inside you, and your hands come back up to his face. You run your fingers along his beard as you kiss its patches.  His eyes open slowly and he gazes at you softly. Once your eyes meet you start moving, as the pressure in your stomach becomes unbearable. You whisper out a soft “So pretty” to him. He’s breathing fast and moaning on every exhale. His eyebrows draw up and his mouth drops open. 

Joel keeps his eyes on you, they’re dark, dazed, desperate, and full of desire. Yet still cautious. His hands are frantic, they slide up your back, then back down to your thighs. They come between your bodies to play with your chest, palming your boobs firmly. Eventually, he brings his hands behind your head, slightly mimicking your placement. He pulls your head to rest against his, still fixated on your eyes.

 There’s something primal about the way he’s looking at you, he looks.. hungry. Your pussy clenches around him tightly at the thought. His eyes widen, his chest expands with a gasp, and his lip starts trembling. 

His eyes are still on yours.

 His hands start to shake behind your head, you feel his thighs tense under you. His eyes roll back into his skull as a guttural moan rips from his throat. His forehead is still pressed against yours. Your pussy spasms around his twitching cock before you’re cumming, hard. 

The shock of his orgasm, how sudden it was, the moan that left his lips, the way he was shaking for you. These things have you creaming all over him, a nice white puddle of your fluids dripping between the two of you. Joel is still moaning sweetly in your face as you cum together. He thrusts his hips up one more time with a grunt to prolong your pleasure. 

You both pant into each other's mouths, your hands still on his face and he's still holding your head close to his. Your breaths slow and you open your eyes, his are still closed. You watch him calm himself for a moment, admiring him, relishing being this close. His eyes open slowly and immediately meet yours. 

He looks apologetic.

“Joel?” Confusion laces your voice when you speak his name, he grimaces when you do. You stroke his face comfortingly, sometimes he gets emotional after sex but you’ve never seen him so remorseful.

“ ‘m sorry, sweetheart I-” He sighs and shuts his eyes tightly again. “I told you that I can’t look ‘atcha in the eyes” His sentence ends in a whine and you’re baffled as he continues to ramble, eyes closed. “I can’t handle it,” He says sadly. 

You feel bad but the statement, the sentiment, makes you clench around him. His eyes fly open with a shaking exhale, they flash a warning. You press a soft kiss to his lips that has him relaxing in your hold. 

“I didn’t mean to squeeze” You giggle at his unbelieving face. “I’m serious! You’re just so hot Joel” 

He looks at you as though you’ve lost it. His head tilts in confusion as he tries to figure out what your thought process is. “There ain't nothing attractive about a grown man cummin’ in under 10 minutes” He states gruffly, brows furrowed in slight anger.

“I think there is. Lucky me huh?” You say playfully, smiling from ear to ear as you kiss his grumpy, pouty lips. His angry mask falters. 

“Lucky you?” He asks incredulously, but you sense a bit of honesty in his tone. You press your forehead aggressively hard against his, hoping to get your point across. “I am SO lucky, Joel. You have no idea, my boyfriend is perfect in every way. He’s so perfect for me, I love him so much.”

Very small tears welled in his eyes, overcome with love from and for you. “Babydoll” He whispers against your lips before kissing again. His hands are pulling you tight against his mouth. He didn't believe anything you said but he appreciates that you say them.

You can’t help but wonder though. “Why my eyes?” Joel’s red hue makes a comeback and he looks at you with an almost shy expression.. “What is it about my eyes?” 

“It’s the way you look at me, sweetheart.” You look at him with a confused expression, waiting for him to elaborate. He huffs, exasperated. “You look at me like I’m… everything. You look at me like I hung the moon n’ stars like I’m the best thing in the world.”

You almost laugh. “Joel. That’s called love, I love you remember?” He looks frustrated with your answer. “But it’s not good honey, I’m not good enough for you to be lookin’ at me like that.”

“I think you are, Joel. I’m more unbiased than you are. I can see you for who you are, not what you’ve done. That’s why I look at you the way I do. You make me feel loved and safe, that's all I can ask for” He gets that emotional look in his eye, where he’s trying to be hard but wants to cry. You smile and pull him in for a kiss, which he returns 10 times stronger.

Afterward, you pulled him into your chest for a hug. You guys fell asleep like this, arms around each other, stolen kisses here and there. You guys talked about some things, hands rubbing naked backs. 

Joel’s cock is still nestled inside you, where it belongs.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

Edit: If you think the fic changed that's because it was literally out of order for the first day it was posted.

[luvrxbunny]

soft

pairing: post-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Joel wants her, and she wants him. The bumpy story of how they got together!

warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader has hair that can get in her face, smoking (weed), drinking, lots of feelings, piv, unprotected sex, slight overstimulation, kinda subby Joel at the end (lmk if i forgot anything)

wc: 10.3k (idk how that happened im sorry)

a/n: I’m pretty proud of this one. ik its long but please just give her a chance!

It started with you and Joel both high and drunk out on the porch and he looked so beautiful. There was a perpetual smile on his face, laughing and even giggling at almost everything you said, folding himself over and leaning his head on you whenever he thought something was particularly funny and you couldn't control yourself.

The next time he leaned over you waited, watching, letting him calm back down but when he went to pull off of you, you pulled his head to yours. His breathing stopped short and it scared you until he groaned into your mouth. It was so many things, it was broken, grateful, desperate but savoring and you loved it. 

He placed his hand behind your head and held you in place as he pushed his lips further into yours. It almost hurt, the way he seemed to attempt to mold your face into one, but it was so perfect. When he pulled away you were out of breath, panting in his face as he did the same. You guys continued to exchange breaths as you scrutinized every aspect of his face.

Anxiety was clawing inside your stomach as you took him in, fearing that he may never let you ever again. His soft lips parted, and you watched his tongue slide into the indent on his bottom lip. You silently hoped he could taste your remnants on them as they froze, waiting for words to spill out. Only to be interrupted by Ellie slamming the front door open. 

“Can you guys fucking keep it down?! I have school, remember? You’re the one making me go!” She shouts at you both, directing the last part at Joel who was still staring at you. You were watching Ellie as she yelled but Joel’s silence brought your gaze back to him. You shouldn’t have because you feel like that’s when it happened. You swear you could see him blocking himself off from you, like a door was shutting in his eyes. He apologized to Ellie and said it was getting late. 

Now, usually, Joel insists on you sleeping on the couch, too worried to let you go home so inebriated but that night he sent you away. It was like he broke your heart. He shattered it and forced you to place the shards in your shoes as he pushed you away, pain shooting through your whole body with every step. 

You cried yourself to sleep that night, you thought things were over with Joel, and you’d lose touch with Ellie because it would be too painful to go over there.

Your paradise was ruined.

You couldn’t believe you had read the situation so wrong. You thought- worse case- he would tell you that you’re too young, that he just can’t be with you, for whatever reason. But the look in his eyes… the way he sent you home. It felt like he didn’t even care about you anymore. 

The next day you thought you had lost your mind. You were in a terrible headspace and decided to ditch your responsibilities. You were in bed, switching between sleeping and sobbing into your pillow. You felt horrible, you looked horrible and someone was knocking incessantly at your door. They would not leave, no matter how much time passed, no matter how loud you groaned. So you wrapped your blanket around you and very angrily made your way to the door. 

“Who the fu-” Your sentence is cut short in complete and utter shock.

It was Joel. 

You let the door swing open and walk back inside. You’re already climbing back into bed as you hear him shut the door behind him. “What do you want, Joel?”

 You’re lying down, wiggling a bit to get comfortable. In the corner of your eye, you can see him just standing there, his thick arms crossed over his broad chest. Your head almost turns as you hear him take a deep breath, wishing you could see the way his chest puffs up and stretches whatever shirt he’s wearing. But you don't. He’s not someone you should be admiring like this, he’s someone you cannot be admiring like this. 

“Oh my god. Don’t just stand there you know I fucking hate that.” Your voice is so irritated, so hurt and cold but he scoffs.

Anger and embarrassment courses through you but you feel the bed dip anyway, it eases the feelings.

You can feel him right beneath your feet, so close you almost want to straighten your legs a bit more, just so you can press against him. But you don’t. 

“Okay, then don’t curse… Y'know I hate that.” His voice is painfully normal, like nothing happened, like he didn't break you. You want to laugh- or cry- at the absurdity. The thought that last night meant nothing to him, so little that he’s over here asking you things like ‘don’t curse’.

Who does he think he is? That he can treat me like shit and then ask such trivial things of me? No. Fuck him. 

“Fuck you, Joel. You’re a dick, get out.” He takes a deep breath and then is silent for a moment. You hoped and prayed that he had given up but to no avail. 

“No, honey. I’m supposed to find out why you’re not out workin’.” You scoff at him and dig yourself deeper into the blankets. “Ar- are ya sick or somethin’?” At this you turn to him, looking him dead in the eyes, asking ‘Are you fucking serious?’ but he can’t hold your gaze.

Oh! So he does remember.

You laugh humorlessly and fall back into bed where you lie in silence, for quite some time. Until his hand comes up to your ankle, resting so gently you know he’s holding it up. He’s probably still thinking over whether he should do it or not, unaware that he’s already touching you. 

“Can- Well, I- I- I know that- fuck.” He’s so angry when he says it, frustrated with himself for not having the right words.

He never knows the right thing to say, or how to convey how he feels. He’s so scared of losing you right now, but he doesn’t know how to tell you in a way that will have you asking no questions. He can’t have you asking him anything because he knows you’ll ask him things that he’s nowhere near ready to answer. “Can you just- Can you please?” 

You waited for him to say more, expecting it, but that was the end of the sentence. He wanted you to ‘just please’.

The way he says it though, you look over at him and he’s gazing into you, his eyes so piercing that you almost feel uncomfortable. It feels like he’s prying into you, willing you to open up for him to express himself without having to actually say anything to you. 

You sit up and glare back at him, softer than before but still hot with rage. “Please, what.” He shakes his head and looks away from you, into his lap instead as his hand fully settles on your ankle. He keeps huffing out breaths, like he’s going to say something but then decides against it. You’re almost irritated with the sound until he takes a breath and follows it with words. 

“You- I need for yesterday to have not happened.”

Fuck him.

You hadn’t even gotten over the first rejection, the lack of care he showed and now here he was rejecting you again. “You must- You gotta understand why it can’t happen. Why we-”

You were trying not to tremble as he rubbed his hand over his face, trying to keep himself calm in the face of the extreme stress the whole situation was putting on him. Tears were welling in your eyes as he spoke, despite you squeezing them shut to avoid this exact issue. But it hurt just as much as it did last night, maybe more. “We just can’t. Not- I need for things to go back to normal… f- for now at least…”

You’re breathing froze, eyes snapping open to look at Joel, who was still looking in his lap. His hand left your ankle to meet his other fidgeting one as you both sat in silence. You could see him peeking at you from the corner of his eye as subtly as he could as you thought over his words.

You felt like you were on a game show. Do you double down or just take what you have?

‘I need for yesterday to have not happened’

‘I need for things to go back to normal’

His words hurt.

‘F-for now at least’

But those words… made it worth it. 

You didn’t want to push him. You know how hard it must’ve been for him to even express the little bit he did. Along with that, the thought of him noticing you weren’t around and coming to check on you was making its way through your cloud of hate. 

“Y-you sent me away…” Your voice isn’t hard anymore. It isn't soft either, it was just weak. You can see Joel grimace at it, turning away from you so you couldn’t see him. “Wh- You- you always let me stay but- you just-” You stop talking, if you kept going you would’ve started sobbing again. 

“I couldn’t let you stay, honey. The- I didn’t- I don’t have enough self-control for something like that to happen an’... I’m leaving you in the guest room? No. I would’ve- had to have- I… No, I-” He breathes out in annoyance again and you yearn to comfort him. But you don’t.

He always gets too frustrated with himself, making it even harder for him to clear his head enough to say what he wants. “I wouldn’t have been able to leave you there. I would’ve had to do somethin’ and I- I don't think that’s a good idea.”

You’re not completely satisfied with the answer, you have more questions now than you did before but you managed to collect one piece of information.

Joel wants you.

It wasn’t a flat-out rejection more like a, ‘let's put a pin in that’ and you have enough faith in him to believe he wouldn’t string you along. So you sniffle, put your big boy pants on as you wipe your tears, and tap Joel on the shoulder, turning his gaze to you. You take a deep breath and speak.

“Yesterday’s events are forgotten.” You say it with a light smile but you’re betrayed by one stray tear as it rushes down your face. Joel’s expression crumbles at it, in so much pain, so heartbroken at the thought that he had caused it. Despite his feelings, he nods at you and gets up. “Get ready. You’re in the fields today, darlin’.” He hits the door frame with a grateful smile before walking away to let you get changed.

Leaving you in your hopeful sadness. 

------------------------------------

Things were rocky at first. Neither of you were actually able to forget about ‘what happened’ as Joel so lovingly put it. You expected too much from him and he was still too cold toward you. For the first month, you guys were basically in an argument. It was as though the town couple, the gruff old man and the re-tamed angel, had broken up. 

Everyone knew that you were hooking up with Jared, he wouldn’t shut up about it. Joel and the townspeople had heard of his sexual conquests over and over since he arrived, before he set his sights on you.

When he first approached you, you had already gotten out of your ‘phase’ and were too captivated by Joel to entertain him for even a second. However, he was quite popular among the other town women, he was popular with women even before the outbreak so he couldn’t believe when you rejected him. Not that he was shocked, he fully did not believe you. In turn, he never stopped pursuing you… much like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

So when Joel broke you, you slipped back to how you were before him… You went to Jared. You don’t know if you were hoping he could put you back together or if you wanted him to help you cut Joel with the shards of your heart but the latter is what ended up happening. 

You wanted to cut it off with Jared the moment Joel found out. When Jared started parading around the town with you next to him as if you were genuinely interested. But you didn’t.

Instead, you kept seeing him for a few more weeks. You watched Joel avoid you like the plague, ducking out of every room you walked into, switching his jobs with people who had the worst ones just so he didn’t have to work with you. You enjoyed making him squirm, showing him that you could just move on if he’s not ready to step up. You were a highly sought-after woman, a piece of art who he wanted to keep in the garage until he found the right spot. No, you refuse. Until you came across him alone at the bar one night. 

He was obviously drunk, a beer in hand but his cheek on the table. There was a song playing that he was loosely singing along to. His other hand was in the air, waving his finger around like he was conducting an orchestra. You storm over to his booth. 

Watch him suddenly sober up and head home. Watch him suddenly remember some plans he made or something he forgot to do. Watch him just get up and leave me again. 

You sit down across from him and wait for him to notice you. You’re just watching him. His eyes are closed and his eyebrows furrow as he tries to hit each high note. He’s failing, not hitting them perfectly but still getting to an impressive pitch. It’s too endearing to see him like this, so open, unburdened.

You didn’t even know he could sing this well. Your anger and bitterness fades for the first time in weeks. Your head tilts and a soft smile invades your face, as if sensing this Joel finally opens his eyes. 

They’re so soft, probably because he thought he was alone, his guard is dropped. You’re waiting for them to go back up at the sight of you. But they stay so soft as he gasps gently. “Honey! Wha- When did you get ‘ere” His voice is softer too… not as rough and gruff as it usually is. 

He also doesn’t sound angry. After all he’s done to avoid you, you’d expect him to sound angry. You chalk it up to the alcohol. 

“I’ve been here. You just never noticed.” When your voice reaches Joel it's gentle, like how you’d speak to a child but not patronizing. He likes it. He swears he can feel your voice washing over him, running through his hair and caressing his cheek. He smiles at it, at you as a blush rises to his cheeks. 

“S-so you-” He looks down at the table, his eyes moving back and forth as he thinks. “Did you hear m-” You can’t help the laugh that slips out. Your hand comes up to cover your mouth but you’re still obviously smiling. “Oh.” That’s all he says as you let your laughs out. 

“I’m- Not laughing at you, Joel. I- I swear.” Laughs break up your sentence as Joel stares at the table. “Oh- I’m so sorry. God. You really didn’t notice me here! That’s what was so funny not your singing I swear.” You let out a little giggle at the end but Joel is frowning. 

“This s’why I don’ sing in front of no one.” He’s picking at the wood and grumbling to himself. You’d find it all incredibly annoying if it wasn’t Joel doing it. 

“Joel.” You’re stern but still gentle as you speak. “I told you it wasn’t your singing. The singing was great. I was so fucking impressed. I had no clue you could even sing like that.” You watch a smile creep onto his face as you praise his talent. He’s still looking at the table, wanting to stay angry but he can’t. Your smile widens the longer you watch him until he takes a swig of his beer. 

“Why are you so drunk?”

The words tumble out before you can stop them and Joel pauses mid-sip. He’s frozen like that before slamming it onto the table and looking at you. “ ‘M not drunk. ‘M not. But if I was…” He squints his eyes at you. “If I was- It’s probably cos the girl I want seems to want someone else.”

It feels like everything in the bar stops. Your breathing, your heart, the music, time, the world. Everything just stops. 

He got this drunk… over me?

He chuckles and finishes his beer as you sit there in shock. “Dunno why you’re doin’ all this. I know you knew. Jus’ thought-” He goes to take another sip and whines when there’s nothing. “Stupid fuckin-” He throws it across the room, astonishingly making it into the trash with a small mumble of ‘swish’. 

“Joel.” He turns back to you with a blank expression. “You never told me you liked me.” 

“Oh please.” His voice is mean, a bit sharp now. Your face contorts into one of disgust as he speaks. “You ain’t that dumb, honey. It was very heavily implied an’ you know it.” Your expression drops into a frown. His voice broke at the end, followed by a sniff and an aggressive rub from his sleeve over his nose. “B-but you’re still out there with fuckin’ Jared.” His voice shakes through the sentence, adding some anger at the end as you cringe at the sound of his name. You both were aware you didn’t have any honest feelings for Jared.

“Joel. You told me to pretend that… that night.” You look away from him, embarrassed at what should be a sweet memory. “You told me to pretend it never happened and then treated me like shit for no reason afterward. Certainly, you didn’t expect me to sit in that. There’s no way you thought I would tolerate it! So yeah, I went to get whatever affection I could, elsewhere since my best and main source ran fucking dry.” You can feel your anger towards him building back up as you speak, reliving the details of your guys’ downfall. It still hurt. 

“Certainly you didn’t- Why do you talk so damn proper?” He’s laughing to himself at his rendition of your voice but you’re nowhere near amused. You stand from your seat and look down at him, stopping his laughter instantly.

“Okay. Let’s talk about this when you’re sober, hmm? When you can be an adult? Stay on topic at least?” His brows furrow and his eyes leave yours. You stand there, waiting for him to respond but get nothing. “Cool, Joel. I’ll see you around then.” You sigh and turn away from him, disappointed.

The night had started so well, that you stupidly believed that you guys might be able to save your relationship. You should’ve known he was too drunk for the conversation but he shouldn’t have brought it up. If he knew he wouldn’t be able to have a serious conversation he shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. Now you’re both hurting all over again. He’s probably gonna grab another drink and you’re probably gonna go see Jared. 

“Please!” It’s frantic, desperate, and unsteady as it shoots out of his mouth. You freeze in your spot, halfway to the door and halfway from him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t wanna talk about it. Why fuckin’ would I? It hurts. You fuckin’— You hurt me… prancing around with that piece of shit- All I did was ask you to wait… just wait- for me to be ready to love you.”

You’re still standing in the middle of the room, facing the door. His voice was getting louder, closer as he spoke but you don’t turn. You could hear the emotion bleeding into his words, breaking his voice as he approached you. 

“But you- You couldn’t even wait for me! No. No, you had to go get— ah how’d ya put it? Affection elsewhere- fuck off. You coulda just said you needed something from me. I could’ve given you affection.” His voice softened after cursing at you. It only grows softer as he speaks. You can feel him behind you, maybe a few steps away but you don’t turn.

You don’t wanna see him, lose your edge, your nerve. “I- I would’ve given it to you if I knew, darlin’. I was tryna keep my distance, waitin’ for you to get over me and look! You did. I- I just wish you had told me, instead of havin’ t’hear it from fuckin’— fuckin’ Jared.”

His voice dies down for a moment and you turn around. His hair is everywhere, he must’ve been running his hands through it as he spoke. His eyes aren’t teary but they look like he could cry at any moment, he looks tired and his lips are bitten red.

“I would’ve understood. Or- Or maybe I wouldn’t’ve I dunno. I just wish you woulda said somethi-”

You’re kissing him.

Fuck.

You are kissing him. You didn't mean to. You have no clue how your lips got to his but they’re all over them. He’s groaning at you, pulling you in as you pull away.

“Fuck! I’ve got to stop doing that… jesus.” You’re looking at the ground as you wipe his slobber off your mouth. He’s silent, panting as he just stands there and your heart starts to race. 

It’s just like last time. Fuck. Why the fuck do I keep doing this shit.

Tears are already welling in your eyes and you decide to speak before he can send you away. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that… I know you need time or whatever.” You pause, giving him room to say anything but he doesn't. You want to look up at him, see what he’s thinking, how he’s reacting. But you don’t. 

“Yeah… I’m gonna go.” You turn around and finish your walk to the exit. You grab the handle and stop. “I- I’m gonna cut things off with Jared…” You stay silent for a bit, trying to decide whether you should say your next words.  “I do need your affection though, Joel.” You rushed out the door after that.  

------------------------------------

You just want to fuck him already. It’s been months now, of this back and forth. To be clear, you do still want him romantically, how could you not? This man, when his hair is fluffy and soft just like him. When you see his expression now light up when you walk into the room. When he builds you little trinkets in the shop, instead of doing the job he was assigned to. When he makes your favorite for dinner after finding out that you’re having a bad day. When he plans movie nights featuring your favorites that he could find on DVD. 

How could you not love him?

It scares you. The “situation-ship” you both were currently in started a few months ago. Actually… It started exactly four months and three weeks ago. There’s no point in pretending you haven’t kept track. Joel told you that he needed time. You would have never expected it to be this much time but you’ve grown to love and crave him over the months.

He listened to what you said at the bar that night. He’s been giving you so much affection it’s actually making the other women in the community quite jealous of you. He hasn’t kissed you yet but he kisses your cheek, your forehead, and- when he’s drunk or high enough- your neck. You don’t kiss him anymore. You’ve kissed his cheek a few times over the months, his head once when he was sick but other than that you try to keep to yourself. You’re still a bit traumatized from his first rejection, the way it played out, and everything. You’d rather just not risk it.  

You’re in the garden and he’s in the field. You’re planting flowers, pulling and re-planting vegetables while Joel is harvesting the wheat he planted four months ago and tilling the land for the new seeds. You keep looking over at him, you really can’t help it at this point. 

The sun is shining through his hair, making it a dark golden color with streaks of white running through it. His arms are smudged from handling the dirt all day and his biceps flex repeatedly as he picks the kernels off of the wheat and throws them into his basket. His eyebrows are creased and his eyes squinted to avoid the burning light of the sun and he keeps looking over at you. He really can’t help it at this point. 

You look so beautiful, sitting on your knees with your adorably mismatched gardening gloves. Your hair falls so angelically every time you lean forward to lead a new plant to its home. Every time you sit back up you use the back of your wrist to try and shove the hair from your face, sputtering out, trying to blow the hair away and it's so endearing. Your arms are dirty and he feels the incredibly odd urge to bathe you. He’s ready to love you. He’s so fucking ready but he has no clue— not even the slightest— as to how he should tell you. 

The current supervisor calls it a day and you almost fall face-first into the plants in your scramble to get to Joel. He’s taking off his gloves, flexing and stretching his fingers when he sees you rushing toward him with a huge smile he can’t help but mirror. “Hey, darlin’. You look so beautiful today.”

You freeze where you stand which luckily isn’t too far from Joel. He makes his way over to you, watching your expression. He loves it so much, he doesn’t understand how he never noticed it before. The way you always take a deep, shaking breath, your eyebrows go inward and you give him this look. He doesn’t understand it yet but it always makes him ache for you, makes him burn somewhere in the depths of his being to just be with you. He doesn’t know how long he can resist it. He doesn't want to. He doesn’t.

“I’m- I think I really- I just really wanna kiss you.” You snap out of your daze and your eyes focus on him, hopeful for a moment then a little dull. You turn your head, give him your cheek, close your eyes, and wait for the gentle kiss but nothing happens. You slowly open your eyes and look at him, he looks scared. “I wanna kiss you.”

You can hear your heart speed up, your breaths getting shorter and your thoughts more jumbled.

He wants to kiss me?

You’re confused for a moment, not understanding what brought this on. You’re eyes slip from his contact as you lose yourself in your thoughts, not realizing the silence you’re creating or the anxiety you’re causing. But Joel realizes, he’s sweating more than he has all day as he waits for you to say something, do something. He shifts his weight from foot to foot before giving up. “We don’t have to… I just- I wanted to…” He tries and fails to keep the sadness out of his voice.

His words strike fear in you and you reach out to grip his arm, hoping it’s enough to stop him from walking away. “Y-You wanna kiss me? On the… on the lips?” He’s surprised by your voice, it sounds far away, loose, and airy.

“I do.” It comes out with no hesitation, no stutters, no pause. You take a step closer to him and his expression twitches, his chest beginning to heave with anticipation. 

“I would really love that, Joel.” You’re staring up at him now, as best you can in the sun. You’re looking into his eyes, an excited, mischievous glint in your eyes, challenging him, daring him to do something. And he loses his nerve. 

“Oh! Okay. Thats… Thats good. I- I want you to come over later, alright? I’ll get us some weed and alcohol. You don’t need to bring snacks or nothin’ either jus- jus bring yourself, alright? Okay, see you then.” And with that, he walked off. His cheeks were absolutely burning. He couldn’t believe himself 

‘That's good’? What the fuck is wrong with you, Miller? Leaving that darlin’ girl standing in the sun like that? It just ain’t right, she’s so sweet on you and you fuckin’ know it. I gotta stop doin’ this to her…

You’re watching Joel walk away. A bit stunned by the whole interaction, confusion, and questions swarm your head the whole walk home. They stick with you in the shower and as you get ready to head over to Joel’s. They accompany you on the whole walkover as well.

Maybe he wants me to do something… I know people like it rough, so maybe he wants me to take charge? He doesn’t really seem the type. Does this mean he wants me now? Will he kiss me tonight? Is that why he invited me over? Are we gonna have sex? Oh god, I hope so. I’d treat him so well- or maybe I wouldn’t since everyone likes it rough. 

You’ve reached his block when you’re stopped by Susan; Joel’s biggest admirer. She places herself in front of you, blocking your path and forcing you to talk to her.  “Oh, he’s not in, hun.”

You take a calming breath and try not to roll your eyes at her. “Okay… Well, I’m gonna check, just in case.” You turn your steps and try to make your way around her only for her to place herself right back in your way. 

“I’m gonna be honest I- I don’ really get this whole thing with you an’ him. I just- I guess I don’ really see it… Do ya’ know what I mean?” You glare at her, ignoring her statement and waiting for her to just get out of your way. “I mean…” She steps closer to you. “I remember when you first got here…” 

You can feel shame and embarrassment curl in your stomach at the mention of your arrival. You weren’t in the best place, mentally, and you did a lot- a lot- of things that you wished you hadn’t, lots of men you wished you hadn’t. “Don’t be an ass, Susan.” She backs away from you, a sinister smile on her face and her hands in the air. 

“Hey! I’m” She laughs. “I’m jus sayin’... You were interested in a lot of different guys!” You start walking, refusing to listen to what she has to say. But the psycho bitch follows you. “I mean are you even sure that it’s him that you want? Weren’t you with Jared just a few months ago? I mean…” 

You’re speed-walking to Joel’s now. You’re only a house away when she hops in front of you again. “Hun! I told you he ain’t home! I’m just-” She sighs and lowers her head as you crane your neck, hoping and praying Joel had made his way to the porch by now. But he hasn’t. “If you just want a man I can set you up with some of my friends! Some people who are… Gosh! How do I say this without bein’ rude? Some people who are more in your… lane… league?” Your head whips back at her, fury raging in your eyes at her audacity. 

“Excuse me?” You question, low and threatening. “Well. Hun, c’mon now, don’t get all bent outta shape, I mean well! You and I both know Joel is too… hmm, well. He’s too good for you I guess.” You’re not staring at her, you’ve turned your head to the patch of sky you can see through the trees beside you, choosing to count the stars instead of listening to this shit. 

“I’d strongly disagree.” You can hear her gasp and spin around as a smile spreads over your face.

Joel. 

“Oh! I- I thought you weren’t home, sugar.” She tries to lean into him but he walks around her and grabs your arm, pulling you past her with a mumble of “Yeah. I know.”, ending the conversation. 

Joel doesn’t speak until he’s gotten you inside. “I dunno why you listen to that woman. She spews nothin’ but garbage.” You watch him dart from cupboard to cupboard to retrieve his lighter and a little joint you can tell he rolled because it’s dented in the middle. “She’s always saying some dumb shit. I fuckin’ hate it.” 

His eyebrows are furrowed and his face is hard as he lights it up. You can’t remember the last time you’ve seen him so angry. You watch the tension fall from his shoulders, his face relaxing as he inhales. You take your shoes off, still watching him as a small smile spreads over his face and he exhales. “Are you gonna share Joel?” You ask as he goes in for another hit. 

“Hey-  Be nice darlin’, it’s mine after all.” He teases while handing it to you. You push yourself up onto the counter, sitting next to where he’s leaning as you take a drag. 

“Yours schmours, you’ll be fine.” He giggles— giggles— at your statement, his hand coming up to cover his smile as he laughs. All you can see are his pretty brown eyes, the creases around them, and the way they almost shut while he laughs. You feel your heart race, bringing along that urge that has gotten you in trouble many times over. Your eyes flicker to his lips and you immediately avert your gaze, taking another hit to try and calm yourself. 

You wait for him to come back up from his designated, folded, laughing position and hold the joint out for him. You snort at the misshapen stick, causing you to choke on the smoke you were holding. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s what you get for laughing. Mhm.” You’re coughing up a lung as he says this, making the situation worse because you cannot stop laughing at him. He continues his remarks after taking a hit, you’re still choking and laughing, and you hold an arm out to him. 

“Joel-” You cough. “Joel-” You laugh. “Joel, stop it. I’m- oh fuck.” You start coughing again in a way that has Joel turning to face you, amusement and a bit of concern on his face. “Oh my god, stop. I’m gonna die, don’t make me laugh- oh my god.” 

He’s beaming at you, proud that you find him so funny and the high really hitting him. You can tell, his eyes are a bit hazy and his eyebrows are raised for some reason. He walks towards you when your fit dies down, pushing himself between your legs with a dazed look on his face. He’s just staring at your thighs for a moment, his head turning from left to right so he can look at both of them before looking up at you. Your heart is thrumming out of your chest as you try to keep your expression neutral, maybe a bit inquisitive. He stares at your lips for a bit before you see his hand raising with the joint. He brings it to your lips and looks back up at your eyes, his eyebrows jump, prompting you to inhale. 

You take a long hit, trying to get as much smoke as you can, hoping it will calm you down. His eyes stay on yours, darkening as his breathing becomes a bit shallow. He pulls the joint away from your lips and puts it out right onto the counter before bringing his hand up to your cheek.

You haven’t exhaled yet, savoring the hit while he slowly brings your face to his. You’re watching his eyes, still on yours as he pulls you in. You begin to exhale, not wanting to hold the smoke in if he’s going to kiss you. That’s when he pushes your lips together. You try not to choke as he sucks the smoke out of your mouth and pulls away. You’re in a stupor as he grins at you and breathes your smoke out, re-lighting the fire in the pit of your stomach, the one that always seems to flare whenever he’s around.

“What’d ya think of that, huh? Good kiss or?” He’s wearing a smirk but his eyes are uncertain at your silence. You keep it up, not saying anything, just pulling him back in and smashing your lips into his. He accepts your kiss with a grunt from the force of it as his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in. 

You’re gripping his hair like it's your lifeline, gripping his face like it’ll fall apart otherwise, it hurts a little but he’s fond of your eagerness. Your hands slide onto his shoulders and you dig your fingers into his skin brutally, pulling a wince from him. He separates your lips and strokes over your cheek with his thumb, admiring you. It's a soft, tender moment until you yank him by his belt loops, crashing him against the counter painfully to whisper in his ear. “I want you, Joel”

He smiles at this and kisses you again as you undo his belt. You remove it from the loops and let it drop to the ground so you can get to work on his button and zipper. You feel his lips stutter against yours and he pulls away, confused. “Not- not here, darlin’. ‘M not gonna do this in the kitchen.” He sounds a bit confused as he grips your hips and lifts you off of the counter and back onto the floor. They come back up to cradle your face again as he places a quick, soft kiss on your lips. “ ‘M gonna make love to you in my room, on my bed, baby.”

Make love..?

Confusion flows through your mind but you go along with him, assuming it’s just some outdated terminology. “Yeah? You gonna fuck me in your bed, Joel?” He is so shocked by your response. He doesn’t understand why you’re being so aggressive about it. He’s trying to be gentle, and loving but you seem to reject it. He gives you a brief but genuine smile before leading you to his room,

Your heart is racing as you follow Joel to his bedroom. This would be the first time you’ll be having sex with someone you care about, someone you love. You wondered if it would feel any different when he was shattering your hips with his own, would there still be that soft look of adoration in his eyes? You don’t see how the two could go together. 

You get to his room and he shuts the door quietly. “Can you stay still, honey?” He rolled his sleeves up, only halfway, showing off his thick forearms. He’s circling you as he questions you, holding eye contact and stopping in front of you. “I- I wanna undress you.”

Your throat feels like it’s closed. 

Undress me? Why would he want to- That doesn’t seem very time-efficient… Oh, but look at him. 

His eyes are silently and subconsciously begging you to let him. You let him. 

He takes a deep breath and his eyes rake down your body the moment you nod at him. He grabs your hips, pulling you to him with a boyish grin before running his fingers along the hem of your shirt. They tickle your skin softly as he brings them up, bunching the fabric before pulling it over your head. He looks right into your eyes as he does this. That soft look digs into your chest, it feels like you may explode. 

He only breaks away from your gaze to throw your shirt on a chair in the corner. He brings his empty hand to cup your cheek, stroking his thumb across your skin as a sort of apology for diverting his attention. He looks back at you with a smile so gentle you may melt. 

Your knees almost give out when he unbuttons your pants, he sticks his thumbs in the back of your waistband, leaning into you. He’s so close. He’s so close. He’s smirking like he knows you want to kiss him. He leans forward, licking his lips before abruptly ducking down, pulling your pants with him. 

You let out a surprised squeal that has him smiling up at you. Your hand comes up to bury itself in his hair before you realize it. You admire the softness of it, how fluffy it is. His eyes droop, getting a foggy, clouded look in them as he stares up at you. 

Make it good for him. Everyone likes it rough. 

You pull it, much harder than necessary, and watch his eyebrows crease in what you assume is arousal as he grunts again. He lifts from his kneeling position and kisses you, a little harder than he did before. 

His hands were running down your back, cupping your ass, and then stroking down your thighs. He’s breathing heavily against your face as his hands squeeze your inner thigh. They roam all over your body but never go where you want them, where you need them. 

“Okay, Joel. Enough I need you. I- I need you.” He smiles underneath his bitten lip as you push him away and gesture to his entire body. “Take them off… Off!” 

You’re basically ripping your undergarments off and running to him, unbuttoning his shirt for him as he takes off his pants. The moment your hands push his shirt open he’s kissing you instead. He walks you both onto the bed, tripping over his pants with a giggle before landing safely on the covers. You waste no time in climbing over him, whining out when his cock rubs along your soaked pussy. He lifts himself to try and kiss you but you’re not looking at him. You’re trying to push his dick into your soaking, aching pussy. 

“Shit- Damn. Fuck, honey.” He slams himself back onto the bed, his hands tighten around your hips as you position your legs beneath you and slam your hips onto him. It fucking burns. You’re wet and wanting but he’s huge, the stretch of his fat cock burns inside you as his tip jams itself into your cervix painfully. You bit off more than you can chew. Joel is grunting harshly beneath you so you power through, attempting to hide your grimace as you let out half-honest moans. 

“Fuck- No. No, no, stop, baby.” His hands force you down and hold you there, rendering you immobile as he sits up. You’re watching his abs clench as he sits up with no assistance but his pure muscle, your eyes only move to his face when he clears his throat. 

You’re embarrassed now, under the impression that you’ve done something wrong, something he didn’t like. You wouldn’t know what to do if that were the case… You were doing what you normally do… You don't know any special moves or anything like that. “Did- You didn’t like it..?”

You ask as timidly as possible, hoping he could hear it and would be gentle. 

“I- I mean I guess but it’s not what I want.” Confusion and a bit of anger flares inside you. How were you supposed to know what he wanted? 

“Okay well, what do you want then, Joel?” His brows furrow and he brings a hand up to caress your face again. 

“I want to make love to you. I told you that.”

There’s that fucking term again. 

“I don’t know what that means, Joel! Isn’t it the same as fucking? I don’t get it.” His brows unfurrow instantly, becoming soft and a bit upturned in what seemed to be concern. And to add insult to injury… you can feel him softening inside you. 

“What do you mean?” His voice is much softer than yours, but it frustrates you. You struggle not to roll your eyes at him. 

“I do not know what that means. I do not understand.” You talk slower than necessary, not actually explaining anything. You’re being a brat.

He tilts his head at you, giving a gut-wrenching, disappointed look. He kisses your cheeks and tells you to be nice, that he’s just trying to understand you.

“No… It’s not the same as fuckin’. It’s gentle and lovin’. It’s me takin’ my time with you, gettin’ you to open up for me.” You can feel his dick filling back up, stretching you out beautifully.

“It’s me learnin’ about what you like, showin’ you what I think you’d like, and getting you to cum around me and for me as long as I can. It’s more focused on- on love rather than lust.” He sighs quietly. “I’m- I’m bettin’ you’ve never had that though…” 

You hear sadness leak into his voice as he ends his sentence, watching you avert your gaze. He watches frustration and shame creep onto your face. “So what? I don’t even- I don’t think I even like it that way. Slow? It already takes me long enough to cum… I don’t need to be here for hours on end, Joel.”

He shakes his head at you sadly. “You would like it, baby.” He has one hand back on your hip as the other spreads out, his large hand spread over your back as he slowly flips you both over, resting you on the bed softly. “I- fuck, I know you’d love it, honey.”

His words resonate deep in your core, bringing a new wave of wetness to run over his cock. “Oh-” His hips stutter into yours as though he could feel the extra cream flowing over his dick. “Yeah, oh you’d- I think you’ll like it, darlin’”

He places you on the bed and finishes talking before kissing you and raising to straighten himself out. His hips thrust slowly into yours and fuck does it feel good. I mean of course it does, Joel is towing over you like a Greek god and his cock is sliding within your walls smoothly, stimulating every nerve it comes across. You start to buck your hips, impatient with the slow build of the pleasure. You wanted something explosive, something that will leave you heaving for breath and you cannot comprehend how you could possibly get there like this. 

Joel smiles, shakes his head at your agitation, and presses his hands down onto your sporadic hips, forcing them to stay on the bed. “No. Softly, baby. Be gentle with me, c’mon.” He continues his rhythm before, rocking into you with breathless pants. Your pleasure felt just out of reach and it was insanely maddening. “Calm down.” He tells you in a low, warning tone. You swear he can read your mind. 

“Tell me.” He leans down so his lips are right by your ear. He places a kiss on your temple and looks down at where the two of you connect, shoving his hair in your face. “Do you like this?” He keeps at his regular pace, the frustrating, agitating, insanely maddening pace. “Or… Do you-” He lets out a shuddering sigh right next to your ear, your eyes nearly rolling back at the faint sound. “Or do you like this?”

His pace changes into something indescribable. His hips are swiveling into yours and hitting eighteen different pleasure points at once. Your arms come up to grip his biceps, one instantly sliding down to his lower back to encourage him to keep it up.

“Oh-” You sound shocked and out of breath. “Oh. I like that one, Joel. This one. I like this one- please” His pace speeds up and he moans at the sound of your whimper. His attention is finally pulled from where you both meet and he’s looking right into your eyes.

This man and his fucking eye contact. 

It’s doing something to you… the way he’s looking at you. It’s burning into your stomach and has you clenching around him, pulling another ragged, angelic moan from his lips, hitting your lips directly due to his position. You lean up and kiss him as much as you can, most of your brain had shut off the moment he flipped you both over. 

He was hitting so deep inside you, a whole section that you didn't know existed. His cock is slowly sliding over every ridge in your pussy, his veins stimulating your sensitive walls. “Joel-” 

It slips out like a whimper as your moans release. You’re suddenly on 100% volume, unable to hold anything in. You never learned how. You thought you just didn’t moan against your own will, never having been in enough pleasure to let out authentic moans. 

Your hand comes from his lower back to slap over your mouth, desperately trying to hold all your noises in but Joel rips it away. “Don’t do- fuck you feel so fuckin’ good-“ His voice is shaking and breathless.

“Fuck, don’ cover up your- your moans, please. Fuck I wanna hear ‘em” He intertwines your fingers with his and holds your hand next to your head. He straightens himself as much as he can while keeping your fingers interlocked so he can grind into you more deliberately. He’s angling himself a million different ways until you convulse onto yourself. You try to hold in a scream as he fucks into… something. It’s almost painful, the way pleasure punches through your body with every thrust. 

“Yeah?- God fuckin’ dammit."

His hips stutter as you involuntarily suffocate his dick in your pussy. “Fuck- Is that it? Your special spot, honey? I got it dead on, huh?” He’s wearing an irritatingly calm smirk as he teases you. You, on the other hand, can barely breathe.

You’re clawing at anything you can get a hold of, his arms, the back of his neck, his back. You feel like you could cry- or throw up at the otherworldly pleasure Joel is forcing onto you. Your mouth is perpetually open, spewing out moans every other second. Your eyes keep rolling back into your head despite your attempts to look at Joel. You can’t even wrangle together enough thoughts to coherently explain how good it feels, how good he’s making you feel. “Jo- Joel. F-” You’re cut off with a whine as he pushes himself into you more forcefully.

“Joey, please- You’re right it’s s’much better. Shit- Joel!-” You let out a more devastating moan than you have all night, causing Joel to groan out in response. Your eyes open to look at him and he’s staring right at you, his eyes are something you’ve never seen, they’re dark and threatening, like a lion stalking its prey. But in this situation the lion is in love with the gazelle, it’s evident in his eyes, all over his face as he moans for you. 

“Of course ‘m r- right- Fuck, you’ve really got no clue how- how fuckin’-” His statement melts into a whimpering moan as he bends back down to moan into your ear. “You feel fuckin’ heavenly, darlin’.”

It creeps up on you out of fucking nowhere. A moan rips through your chest and destroying throat as you cum around him, his words pushing you to the edge. “Oh fu-uck. Yeah? S’that good, baby? Fuckin’- fuckin’ c-cumming all over my cock with no warning, love? Oh fuck me you’re s-so good, sweetheart.” 

His words fuel your world-demolishing, soul-shattering, mind fucking-ly amazing orgasm. You can feel the pleasure coursing through your veins like molten gold. Your entire body is vibrating, you’re lifting off the bed into an ethereal plane as Joel keeps thrusting into you, moaning soft praises in your ear as you gush all over his cock.

Your eyes are permanently in the back of your skull as your hand runs frantically all over his body, trying to find something to ground you, to keep you from flying away on the cloud of pleasure Joel was providing for you. 

He slows his thrusts in favor of you. Your moans had begun to get a bit desperate, all over the place, feverish and distraught as your pleasure bubbled over into overstimulation. Joel is kissing your neck softly, whispering even more soft words laced with love as your soul returns to your body with a broken whine of his name. He pulls his face out of your neck with a smile, his hips still thrusting into you slowly, just toeing the line of overstimulation. It has you losing your mind. You’re writhing against him as he smirks at you. “Do you want more? I can keep going, baby. I’ll go slow, soft, just like this.” 

He gets a bit breathy at the end, his free hand comes up to cup your face as the one holding yours tenses for a moment. His head drops onto your shoulder as most of his body collapses onto you.

He’s still thrusting into you gently as he groans out against your neck. “Fuck me. You’re turning me into a fuckin’ teenager again.” He grunts out a whine into your skin. “Can’t fuckin’ control shit. O-oh I wanna make you cum again, sweetheart.” His hips speed up as he rambles to you. You lean away from him a bit, forcing his head from your shoulder, and turn to look at him. 

He looks so wrecked. His lips are trembling, glossy, and red from all his biting. You didn't even notice. His eyes are on yours but they regularly lose focus, rolling into his head with a groan. “You’re makin’ me feel so fucking good, love. I just want you to feel as good- I wanna make you cum again.” He sounds more desperate than you could’ve ever imagined, your hand slides up the back of his neck and buries itself in his hair, scratching at his scalp softly, causing his eyes to cross lightly as he moans against you, hips stuttering. “Let me. Let me, let me. Let me pl-lease”

His unabashed begging has you clenching around him erratically, pulling a ruined groan from his lips. “M-make me cum again, Joel. C’mon, baby. I want-” He’s already moaning into your mouth as you speak, his hips fucking into you unsteadily. You’re already close from the intensity of the moment, Joel’s hand cradling your face, your hand in his hair. His head is resting against yours, forehead to forehead but his eyes are still open, piercing your soul and your heart with the love that's residing in them, it has your pussy clenching around him desperately. He’s moaning out shamelessly, loudly, and right into your face, into your mouth. 

“I’m gonna- I need you to c-cum. Holy sh-” You cut him off with a wet, searing kiss that’s mostly groans and whines into the mouth of the other. Your hips lift off the bed to buck into him softly, grinding your clit into the patch of curls that rests on his pelvis. He’s smiling at your movements, the contrast in how they were when he started with you.

“Y-yeah. Good, baby. Soft. Just l-like that, sweetheart. You’re so fuckin’ pure.” His eyes roll back into his head as your pussy begins to flutter around him. You can feel it this time, building inside you. The coil in your stomach tightens as you feel the angelic feeling inch back into your veins. Your hands grip his hair more desperately, pulling his ear to your lips as your orgasm begins to spill over. 

“I’m- I’m cumming, Joey.” You’re voice stabs into him. The high-pitched and desperate, shocked innocence in it has him twitching inside you. His pace is ruined the moment you utter those words into his ear. He can feel his eyes shoot to the back of his head as he falls into your shoulder again and starts to cum inside you. 

It’s more than heavenly, cumming at the same time as you. His cock is throbbing, shooting out thick, heavy, ropes of his cum inside you as your pussy pulses in time with him, milking him for everything he has. He can’t breathe, all the air has punched out of him as he tries to warn you that he’s cumming.

He wants to moan out for you, call your name over and over to hear you work yourself up into those whining moans you can’t help but let out. He gathers enough strength to push himself up and look at you. He feels like a whole new round of cum spews out of him at the sight. Your eyes are crossed as you moan out at the ceiling. He’s vaguely aware of the way your hand has twisted and tightened in his hair as you cum, your nails digging into his other hand.

He’s smiling through the second round of cum that pumps into you, deliriously happy with how hard he’s made you cum. You sound like you’re in the same situation as him, all the air suddenly gone from your lungs. You’re just letting out barely perceptible moans of his name on loop. 

His thighs shake as his dick finally stops pouring into you. He looks down at the ring of white sitting on the base of his dick and groans. He looks back up at you, wanting to show you the mess you’ve made on him but you’re still so far gone. Your pussy pulses around him arrhythmically as you mutter up at the ceiling, your hand stroking through his hair subconsciously. 

He’s able to come down before you. He pulls out and lays next to you, his head on your chest while he’s muttering those same, soft praises into your ear as your soul tries to find its way back to your body again. You follow the sound of his low praises, grounding you and pulling you back to reality. “-baby. I’m so in love with you. Thank you so fuckin’ much for waitin’ for me, I know it was hard, but I love you so fuckin’ much. You’re so incredible, so so incredible, baby. The best lady I know, the only lady I wanna know. You-” You have a faint, tired smile spreading across your face as he goes on, sounding more out of it than you feel.

“I love you so much, Joel.” You mean to say it softly, fondly but it comes out as something more like a sob. He gasps and looks up at you, that’s when you notice the tears that have escaped your eyes. “This is so embarrassing…” Your hands wipe at your escapee tears furiously as Joel watches you in shock.

“Hey,” He starts to wipe some of your tears away alongside you, although much more softly than your own hands. “ S’not embarrasin’.” He places an endearing kiss to your lips. “I think it’s so fuckin’ cute. The cutest things I’ve seen in years, honestly.” 

You giggle at his exaggeration and kiss his cheeks. “I’m bein’ serious, baby.” He’s giggling too now, placing kisses all over your face, stopping every tear that slips out with his lips.

“I love you so much, Joel.” You take a deep breath as his kisses slow. “It feels like my heart is being choked, squeezed, and like thrown around in my chest whenever I’m with you. I don’t even have the vocabulary to explain how much I feel for you.” 

His eyes are wide and a bit watery as you speak. One hand is on the top of your head, running over your hair as you speak while the other is on your him, his thumb stroking over the skin, sometimes lifting to draw specific patterns. “I wish I had a way to make you feel what I feel toward you, Joel. It’s so fucking much. I feel like it’s gonna explode and pour out of every orifice.” He chuckles and kisses you again, this one feels more emotional, more loving, grateful, and comforting. 

“There you go, talkin’ all proper again.” He kisses you again shortly. “I- I feel the same way darlin’. Except I know even less words to use to explain it to ‘ya. Fuck I- I fuckin’ I wish I could tell ‘ya. You- You feel like- like my whole existence. If that makes sense… No, no it doesn’t, does it? Damn. I- Shit.” You place a hand on his face and make him look at you. 

“You don’t have to say as many things as I did. You’ve already shown me that you love me through your actions… through this. I didn’t even know it could be like that, Joel. That it could- could feel that… good. I didn’t know it was a thing, and then you came in- with all your love and softness, and you showed me a whole new side of everything. I already know… is what I’m trying to say. I know you love me, Joel. I just hope you know that I love you.”

A single tear slips out of his baby cow eyes and he quickly wipes it away with a smile. “I- I know, baby. Trust me, I know.” He smiles wider and brighter than you’ve ever seen, he’s blinding you with its beauty before laying back down on the bed next to you. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you onto him. 

“You’re gonna stay, right? Sleep in here with me?” You shake your head disapointedly against his stomach.

“Obviously, I’m staying here, Joel.” The sigh of relief he lets out almost breaks your heart. You place a few kisses on his belly for reassurance. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He chuckles at your words and sounds far away, sleepy, adorable. “Okay… Good. Good, I want you to stay… ‘M gettin’ tired though, honey.” As if on cue, a yawn makes its way up and out of your mouth. “Yeah, me too. Goodnight, Joey.”

He sighs, and you can’t see it, but a smile splits his face the moment he hears the nickname. “G’night, my love.”

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!

[luvrxbunny]

sleek

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Prompt: Car Sex

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, f!oral sex, piv, unprotected sex (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 2.7k

A/N: pretty sure the truck was Tommy’s but we’ll pretend it was Joel’s

You and Joel were on a supply run, nothing you haven’t done a million times before. You guys were wandering around, looking for anything you could find when you heard him let out a sharp gasp. You grip your gun reflexively and start looking around for whatever he saw, but you find nothing. 

“Aww look at this!” He’s admiring a bloody, muddy, beat-down truck. He’s crouching, groaning at his knees when he stands back up to circle the truck. “Wow…” He actually sounds in awe… you don't get it.

“Joel, that truck is in horrible condition.” You deadpan. He turns to you with a childlike glee in his eyes. “No! Don’t say that! She’s jus’ a fixer upper that’s all.” He pats her hood with a smile. “Looks just like my old truck, from before… Of course, mine was cleaner… yeah.”

He runs his finger through the coat of dirt with a sad sigh. “I kept her so nice, so clean.” He glances over at you with a shy smile. “I woulda taken you to a real nice place in her, make it a long drive jus’ to show off for ya’.” It warms your heart, the softness of his fantasy, the domesticity of it.  

“Yeah? I’d be so impressed too.” You make your way over to him, admiring the truck a bit. “I used to love a guy with a truck, especially those ones that need a step to get in.”

You see excitement fly over his face as he holds a finger up to you and rushes to the side of the car, opens the passenger side door, and showcases the step at the bottom of the doorway. “See! You woulda been so impressed.” He sounds a bit deflated at the lost opportunity, you try and indulge him. 

“Where would you take me?” The light returns to his eyes when he turns to you. “Where’d ya’ wanna go?” He stands quickly and rushes to stand in front of you, to watch you answer as though he really needed to know. “Uh- I think I’d love to go to a drive-in theater… especially with a truck!” His smile is wider than you’ve seen in a while.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’d get some blankets, and make the back all nice and comfortable for ya’. You’d be so impressed with me, baby, I swear.” This felt like it was bordering on self depreciation talk and you wouldn’t have it. “Joel. I’m already impressed with how well our date nights go. We’re living on a commune in the apocalypse yet I still feel like the most important thing when I’m with you. That’s the most important thing to me.”

His eyes meet yours sadly. “I have more charm with the truck though.” He has a shy smile on his face as he says it, embarrassed at how true he believes it is. You laugh at his claim. “Sure, Joel. The only appeal this truck has to me… is that there are more places to fuck you in. Other than that, it doesn't serve much purpose.” You watch his face contort in shock for a moment before turning slightly pink. You giggle at his reaction and tell him you guys have to get a move on. 

You’ve taken a few steps when you realize you don’t hear him behind you. You look around and don’t see him at first, then you notice he’s gotten in the truck. 

His obsession is gonna get us stuck out here after sundown. 

You shake your head and make your way back to the truck, his jacket is off, and his back is turned to you. “Joel, what are you doing? You can’t fix the truck” He turns to you and his face is still red, his chest is lightly heaving and there’s a bulge in his pants. “No, but I can still fuck you in it.” 

You look down at the seat to see he’s laid his jacket out for you, so sure that you’re going to let him fuck you in this fake copy of his old truck. He’s right. 

You smile and he reaches his hand out for you to take as you climb in. He watches you press yourself up from the step and almost fall into him. He catches you with a chuckle and your lips are already pressing into his. He groans against your lips at your desperation, at the way you’re already trying to lick into his mouth, repositioning yourself so you can try and wiggle your way onto his lap. 

He smiles into the kiss, pulls your hips away from him, and starts sliding them down, letting you lean back against the seat cushions. He pulls your pants and underwear down to your knees before just diving in. His head buries itself between your legs before you can gasp at the cold air hitting your sensitive skin. 

His tongue is licking across anything he can reach, trying to taste every part of you. One of his hands pulls away from its painful grip on your thighs to unzip his pants. His cock is pressing painfully into the denim as you mewl above him, whining for more, for him to stop and just fuck you, you don’t even know what you want. Joel brings that hand up to lay across your waistline, pressing your hips down against the fabric of his jacket. 

You feel bad because you know you’re making a mess on it. You’re soaked by the way Joel was trying to drink you up, at the groans and grunts he’s letting out between your legs and the way his hips have started to slowly grind his aching cock against the seats. 

Your hips slowly begin to rock into his face, your hands come down to hold his head in place as you do. He groans your name into your pussy as you use him, riding his nose as his tongue tries to wiggle its way inside you. His eyes are shut in concentration but they shoot open to look at you when you start moaning his name. “Joel. C- Joel I’m close- so close, Joel. Joel-“ 

Your hushed voice comes out as a whimper as you try and warn him. Joel is lost in the way you say his name. The way you feel the need to have it on repeat as you cum, like it’s the only thought in your head. 

His hand comes down to palm his raging bulge, relieving some of the tension that’s been building as he fucks into the dirty seats. He’s pulsing for you, to get inside you, to fuck you in his this truck. 

His eyes close at the thought. In an alternate universe, Joel thinks you’d be softer. You’re already so sweet and sensitive for him but without the added sense of danger, Joel thinks you’d be a mess for him. Just melting all over whenever he touched you. 

He’d be more affectionate too, get you into that headspace that makes everything fuzzy. Keep caressing you until all you can do is cling to him and ramble deliriously about how good he makes you feel. He’d love to have the opportunity to take his time with you, bring you so high that you feel like you’ll never come down, and then throw you over the edge. 

“JOEL-“ His name comes out as a shouted gasp before you’re creaming all on his tongue. His eyes roll back behind his shut lids as he desperately tries to drink up all your juices. He’s relishing your taste, moaning praises to you from buried between your legs. He knows you can’t hear them but he means them so truthfully he doesn’t even need you to, he just can’t stop them from tumbling out of his mouth. 

You have to tug his hair to get him out, to stop him from. overstimulating you to the point of immobility. “Joel. S- You s-said you’d fuck me.” 

You’re whining for him, already begging for more and he is more than willing to give it to you. He’s already pushing himself off the ground, pulling his jeans down, and climbing over you with a smirk. You’re wearing a pout that’s reluctantly turning into a shy smile under his gaze. He helps you pull your pants completely off your legs before spreading you open. 

He has one leg over his shoulder and the other resting on his hip, his hands are clutching each ankle as he smiles down at you. “Wanna put me in, baby?” His accent makes the words slide out of his throat like honey, spilling from his lips like they’re the sweetest syrup. 

Your pussy is already squeezing down on nothing, begging him to stretch you. He chuckles at the whimper you let out before grabbing his thick cock and lining him with your entrance. You can feel his tip resting so far outside where your hole sits naturally and your heart begins to race. You can tell Joel is having the same thoughts by the way his gaze is focused on where you two are touching, where his tip is just leaking into your hole. His breaths are coming out in small pants and he’s trying to stop his hips from thrusting his cock inside you, pushing his way through. 

You wiggle your hips slowly, trying to ease him in. His tip slides in quicker than you expected, you flinch and moan at the sensation, winning a rare whine from Joel as his tip catches on your ever-constricting pussy. His hand has to leave one of your legs to push your hips down onto the seats, ensuring that you don’t take any more of him in. 

If you did, Joel thinks he’d blow his load instantly. 

Now you’re whining on his tip, begging him for more as he squeezes the base of his dick, trying to will his load to stay at bay. Your whines start to get a bit weaker, more watery and you start to sniff. Joel’s eyes snap to yours and see your face turned away from him with little steaks of water from wiped tears on your cheeks. He reaches for you immediately. 

“What? What’s wrong, honey? Does it hurt? Wan’ me t’take it out, baby? C’mon, talk to me.”

You turn to Joel and shake your head with a sad smile before trying to kiss him but he turns away to whisper in your ear. “Gotta tell me what’s wrong first, darlin’.”

He lets you cling to him, a hand still on your hip as you try to coax more of his cock into you, wiggling your hips and clenching rhythmically to try and convince him to push into you as you let it little sobs into his neck. “J- Just need you s- so bad J- Joel. I need it, need you.”

He swears his vision blurs for a moment. He’s heard you say this to him countless times and it turns him on, sure. But he’s always known you say it for that specific reason. 

This time, however, it feels like you really mean it. The way your body is crying- the way you’re literally crying for him. It’s all too much, it doesn’t feel real. He can’t believe the way he makes you feel so good, it’s all he wants; to make you feel good. His cock won’t stop pulsing inside you, he’s trying to calm down but your whines for him are almost too much. 

He starts thrusting into you, he doesn’t work his way up to the brutal pace he’s currently at. He started that way, fueled by the shout of his name from your lips. He hides himself in your neck and your hands come up to cradle his head against you, your hands digging into his soft hair as he ruts into you. “I’m not gonna last.” 

The words rush out of his mouth and you moan his name in response. Your pussy suffocates him, pulling him- forcing him closer to the edge. “I w- want it, Joel. Please cum inside me-” You gasp at your own words and Joel can feel his balls tightening at them. “Joel-” Your tone becomes frantic and you’re clawing at his shoulders, his neck and gripping his hair to pull his head from your neck. You’re staring at his face now, hands on either side, but his eyes are still closed. He’s still too close, he doesn’t want- he can’t risk cumming before you. He needs you to cum on him first, for you to moan his name in the way you only do when he’s got you shaking on his cock… but you’re whining at him to open his eyes, to look at you. You’re begging him. 

“Look at me when I cum, Joey. P-please. Joel-” You gasp out a moan and your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling him in for a blind kiss. He can’t help but open for you, letting you lick into his mouth, trying to ignore the way his stomach burns at the taste of your tongue. He takes a shaky breath to calm himself and you’re moaning against his lips again. “I need it.” You’re breathless as you try not to cum, letting out breathy keens and high-pitched sighs of his name. He can feel you twitching on his cock, squeezing him for a moment before whining and trying your hardest not to. He can’t deny you any longer. His eyes open and meet your instantly. 

You pull his head to yours, desperately trying to fall into his eyes as your orgasm crashes over you, only waiting for Joel’s gaze to unleash it. Your mouth opens wider the tighter your pussy chokes his cock, you’re gazing right into his eyes as you cream all over his cock. 

He can’t. His breathing picks up as you stare into him, so lovingly. He starts panting, his breath fanning over your face until little whines and curses work their way out of his throat. His chest is heaving and his hips are slowly losing their rhythm. “I-inside, Joel. Wan’ it.” Your words slur together as your eyes roll back at the pulsing of his cock inside you. 

Your name is falling from his lips like a plea before he brings his body flush against yours. His hand comes behind your head to pull you up into a sitting position as he leans back onto his heels, still thrusting into you slowly. “‘M gonna gi-give it to you, baby. Gonna fill you-” Pleasure runs up his spine with a shudder and his eyes fall shut. 

“ ‘M cummin’, sweetheart.” The words are more whiny than you’ve ever heard him and he starts spilling into you. He’s grunting out sounds that vaguely resemble your name, working himself up into a whine as he continues to thrust into you. His brows furrow and his hips stutter to a stop but he’s still filling you, so you start to grind on him. His eyes shoot open with a ragged moan. “Can’t- It-” He struggles to get the words out as you swivel your hips on him, enticing his cock to let another round of cum spit into you. His eyebrows pull inward as you smile at him deliriously, letting an innocent giggle fall from your mouth. 

He moans your name against your lips, his hands on your lower back to hold you up as he finishes filling you. His entire body shudders with the last rope of cum that shoots into you, earning a pretty moan from your lips. “Fuck, Joel.”

He grunts into your neck, placing soft kisses there while he tries to calm down. You’re humming at each one and stroking the back of his head softly, resting your head on top of his. He’s letting shuddering sighs out against your skin as his cock softens inside you. He slowly pulls his head out from your neck, you leave your hand on the back of his head and give him a crooked, lazy smile that warms his heart. “Tha’ was so much, Joey.”

He groans at the pet name and smiles at you fondly. You’re whispering fucked out praises in his ear as he cleans you up and you cling to him the whole way home. 

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!

[luvrxbunny]

hi, im loving your work and i'm not sure if this is like where your at cause it's just regular old eddie but i was wondering if you'd write something like reader and eddie are both really into each other but haven't said anything and she knows how into d&d he is so she makes on of his campaigns into a comic but shes been so busy she unintentionally pulls away and eddies worried she finally "woke up" and realized hes a freak. maybe something like she's from new york banished to her aunts in hawkins aunts cause she has to repeat senior year again and eddie immediately is like wow. but happy ending obviously, maybe some smut if the spirit moves you. i hope this isnt too specific i know your last request was more vague but i had the idea and thought it'd be cute, if your not into it though that's fine i figure it never hurts to ask right 😘

hi! thank you for requesting! there actually isn't smut in this one but if you'd like some you can request a part 2 kinda thing!

Pairing: Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: Eddie feels you pulling away and assumes the worst.

Warnings: smoking (weed), misunderstandings and emotions (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 6.9k

A/N: idfk this might be word vomit- i tried please have mercy

Eddie was the first friend you made here in Hawkins after being abandoned by your family. The sting of failing your senior year was enough, but the pain of your family being too embarrassed to house you anymore made it even worse. You had to watch all summer as all your other friends packed up for college while you were packing to be sent away. You were forced to go live with your aunt, which wasn’t the worst situation you could’ve ended in. 

She’s nice to you, understanding. She doesn’t believe in traditional schooling, she says it’s ‘no wonder’ that you failed. She claims ‘You’re a special girl with the mind of an artist’ and ‘schools aren’t built for people like you two’. You love her, you just can’t stand some of her habits. 

She lives a very hippie lifestyle. She forces you to walk to school, even on the first day, saying it was good for your mental health but all it did was make you incredibly sweaty for your first day. Although it ended up working out for the best. 

You arrived panting and sweaty from your rush over. She hadn’t told you the night before that you’d be walking so you didn’t wake up early enough. You could not stand being late to first period, not wanting to deal with the entire class watching you find a seat. So you had to haul ass to school. You had planned out an incredibly cute outfit that was now ruffled, mussed, and damp with sweat. You wanted to cry as you sat down in the back left corner of the classroom, getting a nice view of the field beside the school, the trees and flowers that live there. You’re huffing and puffing, your breathing all out of order from you trying to regulate it as students pour in. You watched as the cliques formed themselves, having been established in the previous years. You took out a notebook and buried yourself in it, hoping no one would approach you. 

The other students settled down and the teacher began her orientation. You aren’t listening as she speaks, watching the rain that's pattering gently on the classroom window. She was going on about the syllabus, informing you of the incredibly boring things you’d be learning in her class when he burst through. Opening the door with so much force that it slammed on the wall behind it, he was huffing and puffing, nearly soaked in rain with a bag loosely thrown over his shoulder. The thing about him that stuck with you though, was the blinding, dimpled, smile that was on his face. Despite being drenched, late, and the current center of attention, he had the largest smile you had seen all day. It was so genuine that you were smiling along with him without even realizing it. 

“Mr. Munson. I see you’re in my class again…” She spat the words at him so venomously you expected to see his smile drop, falter at least but it widened instead. 

“I am! Yes. I am! And I’d like to focus more on what that says about my… my determination, rather than what I may lack in this particular subject.” Again? Maybe he’s a repeat like me?

Something about the thought made you feel a bit fond of him. 

“Mhm. That’s nice. Have a seat.” She continued to drone on as he looked around for a seat, his eyes widened at you, seeing you already smiling and staring at him. This snapped you out of your trance and you tried desperately to avoid his gaze, pretending like you hadn’t been watching him since he came in. 

He decided to sit next to you and you guys hit it off instantly, later finding that you had almost every class together. You felt so lucky, he was so, so kind. He spent your first two periods and lunch together. He introduced you to his friends, let you know the special ins and outs of the school, and even offered you a ride when he found out your aunt was leaving you hanging. He told you that you’d have to wait with him after school because apparently, he ran a club called “Hellfire”. 

Honestly, in the period after lunch, without him, you questioned if this was the kind of person you should align yourself with. In the next period, with him, when you walked in the door he waved you over and moved the backpack that was on the desk next to him. “Hey! I saved you a seat.” He had that shining, dimpled, smile again and you decided it didn’t matter what kind of person he was. He was kind to you and that’s what mattered. 

You learned a lot about him and you feel like that’s when you started falling in love with him. 

He told you about his struggles with his family, and why he lived with his uncle. He told you about his childhood and got a little teary-eyed, although he still kept his butterfly-inducing smile. 

He told you about his struggles with this town and warned you that you may be subject to ridicule by befriending him. That was the only time his smile fully dropped, he got this kicked puppy look in his eyes as he lied to you, telling you that ‘he’d understand.’ or that ‘you don’t need to feel bad’. You told him you’re not afraid of some small-town hicks. 

He apologized to you at the end of the class, saying it must’ve been awkward to listen to him blubber about his life all class but you, stars in your eyes and in love, adamantly assured him that you didn’t mind. 

You ended up loving his club, the planning, the theatrics, and the suspense, were unbelievable. You were engaged the whole time, obsessed with how Eddie told his story, and invested in the team and their survival. You told Eddie about how cool you thought it was the whole ride home. By the end of the ride, you were apologizing profusely for how much you had talked about it but he, red in the face and flustered, adamantly assured you that he didn’t mind. 

You guys have been almost inseparable since. It’s been about seven months here at Hawkins now and your little crush has snowballed into a bit of a colossal crush on Eddie. Nowadays, your Hellfire visits are filled with you just watching him. You don’t pay attention to the plot, to how the characters are doing, or anything… just him.

 It’s getting a bit embarrassing in fact, because you’ll have fewer things to say on the ride to your house than you usually do and he’s begun to question it, asking if you thought he needed to work on anything and not believing you when you say that ‘he doesn’t need to change anything’ or that ‘it was so perfect you have no notes.’

A secondary reason you’ve started staring at him more is because you’ve been working on something for him; a way for you to confess how you feel about him in a way that you hope he’d like. You’re completely unsure of how he may feel about you. You’ve noticed a few things… the way he’ll save a seat and always give it to you, no matter who arrived before you, how he seemed to be somewhat softer with you than he is with everyone else, but you chalked it up to hopeful thinking. 

You were trying to make a comic of the first time he invited you to Hellfire. You can remember it almost perfectly and for anything you don’t remember you can just refer to your journal. You’d written all about it after you got home. 

You’ve been spending most of your time in the art room now, trying your absolute best to make it the most professional-looking, homemade comic anyone had ever seen. You think about the smile that Eddie would wear, even if he didn’t reciprocate your feelings, you at least hope he appreciates the art. 

You’ve gathered help from a lot of unsuspecting people. You found out that quite a few girls on the cheerleading team are a great help when it comes to designing the outfits. They’ve started to meet you in the art room at lunch to help with the comic, slightly invested in the plot even though you’ve explained multiple times that it’s technically Eddie’s plot. They’ve also become quite interested in your love life, knowing that it’s for Eddie. They actually root for the two of you, they were all much nicer than you expected them to be. 

You’ve started to miss a few club meetings as well. To be fair though, you aren’t technically part of the club. Eddie explained that since you don’t play you’re technically just a consistent bystander. It had hurt your feelings at first, feeling left out of the group but now it’s just convenient. You don’t have to tell Eddie in advance that you aren’t going and you don’t need to tell him why. You always go to the art room instead to work on your comic. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, the cheerleaders join you after practice to help you work some more. You started to fall behind in school work, not paying attention to anyone or anything in class in favor of working on your comic instead. This little picture book has consumed your entire life for a few weeks. Unbeknownst to you, Eddie was suffering the whole time.

He noticed it when it first started. At lunch one day, instead of eating and engaging in the conversation you kept opening your notebook and doodling little things he couldn’t see. He kept having to get your attention and re-explain everything that was happening whenever he tried to include you in the conversation. Eventually, you just told him, with a soft laugh, that you’re not listening. You giggled and went back to your doodling, not even realizing that what they had been talking about, was the idea of you joining Hellfire officially, even if you don’t play. Your disinterest almost broke Eddie’s heart, it hurt a lot actually but he reasoned with himself. 

Maybe she just doesn’t want all the heat, and bullying that comes with being a part of Hellfire. She’s soft, she just doesn’t want to say that right now, in front of the whole table. She’s so cute… She’ll tell me why, later.

You never did. You never explained to him why you cared so little about being in a club he cared so much about. 

You began to pull away more and more after that. He would plan campaigns with you in mind, creating twists and turns he knows you’d love, imagining the look on your face and the excitement in your voice when you’d tell him about it on the ride home. However, you started telling him you couldn’t make it to Hellfire. You never gave him an explanation and he never asked for one, you guys are just friends… he has no right. 

A little piece of his heart would chip away every time you canceled on him, breaking even more whenever he had to receive pitiful stares from everyone else when they noticed characters in the campaign that were so obviously you-coded. The confused looks from every member whenever they asked where you were, only to be met with a sad shrug, became a bit too much for him. He was still giving you a ride home, you’d arrive at the end of Hellfire with a shy smile on your face for it every day so you had to be staying somewhere at school. He was determined to find you. 

He ended Hellfire early one day and set on his quest to find you. He knows you love to read so the library was the first place he checked, only to find the doors locked. His next stop was the art room, stopping to peep inside the cafeteria on his way over and shaking his head sadly when you weren’t there. At this point, he’s sure that you’re in the art room, but what confuses him is that he can hear girly, popular, giggling coming from the very room that you must be in. He rushes over in a half-sprint, thinking that some girls were picking on you but when he gets to the door he can see you laughing along with them as you doodle on something. 

“I mean he’s… cute..” Chrissy Cunningham says to Eddie’s intense confusion. Who are they talking about..? What is she doing with Chrissy Cunningham? The other cheerleaders burst into a smaller fit of laughter at her words. 

“I think he’s cute!” You say and Eddie’s heart sinks at your words. Who? He waits there for a while but you guys never give specifics. He watches the cheerleaders giggle and tease you about your mystery crush. He only witnesses the way you fiddle with your pencil with the biggest smile he’s seen all day splitting your face. It hurts him to see you so happy over someone else, he watches you as a dark, numb, pain spreads inside his chest before walking away with tears in his eyes. His hands were in his pockets, shoulders hunched defeatedly as he heard you girls cheering behind him.

When you came for your ride he wasn’t in the Hellfire classroom waiting for you, instead, he was leaning on his van smoking. He never smoked around you, not cigs at least. You had explained your many bad memories with men who smoked and how it caused you to just despise the smell, that it even caused you a bit of anxiety before you even knew that he smoked. 

Out of kindness, Eddie just avoided smoking around you all together, but right now he was stressed, hurt, and on the verge of a breakdown and a cigarette was the only thing that could keep him from that. 

He didn’t care too much if you minded, you’d already decided you didn’t want to be around him anymore, choosing to hang out with the cheerleaders instead, letting them coax you over to the dark side from right under his nose. He should’ve held onto you tighter, he should’ve known they’d try and snatch you. You were so beautiful, and you’d be so popular under their watch but they’d also corrupt you, turn you into them, murdering the sweet, caring, and loving girl you were. The thought broke his heart, hence the cigarette in between his fingers when you approached him for your ride.

“Hey, Eddie! I was starting to think you left me!” You say with an adorable giggle that he wishes he could smile at. He blows smoke up into the air, avoiding your face, and puts it out. 

“Yeah. I was actually thinking the exact same thing.” He says with a humorless laugh that shocks you. You’re about to ask him if he’s okay when he gets in and starts the van. You rushed over to your side to get in before he drove off in silence. This is when you’d ask him about Hellfire and he’d give you the outline of what happened, but this time when you ask, he responds with “Same old, same old.”

You never thought you craved his voice as much as you do now. The drive is longer, some strange traffic blocking the way and the silence in the van gets to be too much for you. 

Forget about wrapping. 

“Eddie?” He hums at you, letting you know he heard you but doesn't turn to look at you. His eyes stay on the packed, unmoving road. “I- I made you something.”

His head turns to you so fast you can almost hear it crack. “You made me something?” The shock in his voice is surprising. It’s like he never, ever, had even considered that with all your artistic talent, you’d want to make him something. You have all of his attention now. 

“Yeah…” You reach into your bag and pull it out gently while Eddie gets off the road, pulling into a parking lot. “I- Well, I was going to wrap it but I’ll just give it to you now. I- I hope you like it…”

He’s smiling at you as you rummage through your backpack gently for whatever you have for him. He tried not to get too excited but he couldn’t help himself… 

“I’ll love it, sweetheart.” His heart is swelling at the idea of receiving a gift from you. That means at some point, somewhere you had seen something and thought of him, you thought of him so much that you just had to buy that item and you planned on gift wrapping it for him. 

Maybe it's a goodbye present. Fuck- be cool. 

Eddie tried to shove his thoughts to the back of his head, his heart was pounding as you pulled it out of your bag. It was a little book… A comic book? “Oh! What comic is this?”

He grabs it from your hand to read the cover and sees “The Brave, Bold, and Indomitable, Eddie the Banished VOL. 1” He reads it over again and again, believing that his eyes are playing tricks on him before slowly turning to look at you. You had a sweet, shy, and scared smile on your face as you awaited his reaction. “No fucking way.” His voice is a low, stunned, whisper as your smile spreads and he quickly flips through the little book. 

He opened the first page and felt like he couldn’t breathe, the art inside was breathtaking. “No fucking way.” He examined a character that was definitely him, running his fingers over the pages in awe. 

“Yeah, t-that’s you.” You scoot closer to him and lean over the center console to point him out on the page. “Here’s the rest of the party.” You point out more details to him, explaining why you picked some of the outfits you did, and why you chose certain trees and times of day but Eddie isn’t paying very much attention. He’s not even looking at the book anymore, he’s just watching you. You’re explaining every aspect of the page to him as he inspects every aspect of your face. Until you abruptly stop and he watches embarrassment creep into your features. His eyes flicker back to the page as you take your finger away from where you were pointing and he notices a little person in the corner of the page, almost hidden in the bushes as the party makes their way through a forest. 

“What-” He recognizes it on further analysis. “Is that you?” He asks with a chuckle of disbelief as he pulls the page closer to his eyes, admiring your little character. “Why are you in the bushes, sweetheart?” 

You’re stumbling over your words at the pet name. Eddie has used it twice in this car ride alone and you’re struggling not to lose your mind. “U- Um well… I’m- I’m just a bystander so… so I’m just by-standing.” You end the sentence with a sad giggle and your eyes shift to your fidgeting hands in your lap. Eddie’s smile falters at it and the memory of him inviting you to be more than. 

“Yeah. I mean- not for lack of trying y’know? I guess you’d rather be a cheerleader.” He tried to keep his tone light and jovial as he turned the page, now looking for you in every bush. He’s chuckling at your drawings as you’re overcome with confusion. “Eddie. What are you talking about?”

He doesn't look up from the book. “C’mon, love. We offered you a membership without gameplay and you just-” He takes a deep breath as he feels a small lump form at the base of his throat. “You couldn’t have been less interested.” He’s giving you that humorless laugh again as he flips the page. You’re searching your brain, racking your memories, trying to remember when this happened but coming up blank.

“Eddie, I don’t remember that happening.” He sighs, shuts the book, and shoves it under his thigh before starting the van back up, sad anger bubbling in his chest. 

“Listen, I get it. Y’know, you wanna be popular. I understand the pull, sweetheart. I don’t blame you at all.” You’ve never felt more confused as Eddie pulled out of the parking lot. Your silence makes him nervous, and nerves make his mouth run. 

“I mean… When you got here- poor unsuspecting, you- didn’t believe that the first friend you made was-” He lifts his hands from the wheel for a moment to make air quotes. “The town freak.” He gives you that laugh again.

“I’m honestly surprised that it took you so long to leave us losers for the popular crowd!” His voice is still upbeat, and light, as though he wasn’t breaking your heart and insulting you to your core at the same time. “OH! I- I guess you just needed a ride, right? It’s alright, sweetpea.” He’s so frustrating, that fake smile plastered on his face as he pulls up to your house. 

“Eddie.” Your voice is strained around the ball in your throat but still angry. “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I don’t even like what you’re saying so either explain or just stop talking.” He parks the van on your curb and stares at you silently. You take this as the ‘stop talking’ option. “Okay. Thanks for the ride…” You hop out of his van sadly and turn around. “I- I hope you like your comic, Eddie…” With that, you slam the door closed and rush to your front porch. Eddie waits to watch you enter the house before pulling out of your driveway, trying not to let his guilt override his anger. 

On the whole drive home, Eddie is mulling over everything you said. Your seemingly genuine confusion over the invitation. He thinks over the original scene, you did say you weren’t listening. Eddie thought you meant it in the sense where you knew what the conversation was about but you wanted to stay out of it… but maybe you literally were not listening. Maybe you legitimately did not hear what they had said. 

Eddie pulls into his driveway and opens the comic book, deciding he needs to read it before heading in. He didn’t realize how long he’d end up spending in his van, reading your comic but when he finally looked up from the pages, getting butterflies from your art and how vividly you remember his campaign, the sky was dark. He chuckled to himself and headed inside to get ready for bed. 

Eddie flipped through the comic all night, noticing a pattern within your art. You were on every page that the Hellfire party was on, watching what he assumed was all of them. He was obsessed with your art, especially your character, and was psycho analyzing her when he noticed it. She was staring at his character. On every page the two of you were on, you were staring at him, your line of sight fixed on his character. 

He felt as though he was losing his mind as he frantically flipped through every page. His heart raced as he watched your character watch him. He loved it, whether you did it on purpose or not, it was doing something to him. Heat rushed to his face as he put the book away and calmed himself down. He didn’t want to read too much into it but he couldn’t help the way his heart raced when he approached you about it the next day. 

He wanted to work up to the subject, he wanted to pretend that it hadn’t consumed his every thought since he noticed but instead, he just blurted it out to you the moment he sat down.

“Why are you watching me?” His face goes red after the words shoot out, wishing he had taken more time to craft what he wanted to ask. He watches humored puzzlement bloom over your face as you giggle softly, giving him butterflies in his tummy.

 “Eddie, you just got here. I was gonna say hi…” Your voice is timid, still careful after the little argument yesterday and fear begins to curl in Eddie’s stomach. He forgot he had been an asshole to you yesterday. 

Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe she was just drawing her “good side”. Why would she be staring at you, Munson? Get a grip, Jesus.  

He tries to play it off. “I- I’m just sayin’ you could’ve waved or something.” He tries to sound upbeat, and cheerful, but he can’t get it to sound genuine. All night he’s been fantasizing about what it would be like if you actually liked him back. How he would give you hugs and kisses no matter where you were. He thought about how in love with you he’d be, it’d be pretty annoying to everyone else but he wouldn’t even care. 

He knows you’d love it too, he’d give you everything he has, everything he had and ever will have. 

He shouldn't have gotten so far ahead of himself. 

He thought about how he would follow you to whatever college you wanted to go to- if you wanted to go. He would get a job nearby and you guys could rent an apartment together. He’d wait until you’ve graduated to ask you to marry him. He’d take you to your favorite spot, with all your favorite things, and propose to you in whatever way you’d want him to. He’d spare no expense on the ring- if that’s something you’d care about. 

He’d start a mechanic shop with Wayne and they’d be so rich that you wouldn't even need to work if you didn’t want to. He thought about your kids, he’d hope that they look like you, they’d get far in the world being as beautiful as you are. He wants them to be like you too, good, sweet, and caring. He spent the night going over your whole lives together, his cheeks sore from how long he’d been smiling. But you don’t like him like that. 

Eddie distantly hears the bell ring, not realizing he’d spent the whole class moping over the fact that you don’t like him. He looks around to see you’ve already left him. You usually wait with him, you like to chat on the way to the next class. Your absence has never felt so painful for him. 

Once he’s gathered his things he heads to the next class where he sees your seat surrounded by cheerleaders, a small smile on your face as they seem to dote on you. He decides he doesn’t need to sit with you today, you have enough people to keep you company. He actively avoids looking at you for the duration of the class, rushing out once the bell rings. 

He rushes to the bathroom, bumping into people and getting insults hurled his way in the process. He gets to his stall, with all his graffiti, and slumps against the wall to the floor. His mind is racing, his chest heaving as he tries to cope with losing you. She’s with them now I guess? But- 

His memories flash back to all the times you guys hung out, just the two of you. He felt as though you were just a better, female version of him. You were an outcast but in the best- or worst- way possible. You were like a gem he had found in this pile of shit town, everyone else had overlooked you, not wanting to wash the shit off to see you shine, but he had. He didn’t care about the shit, he wanted to be there for you in the way no one was there for him when he arrived. 

He thinks he fell in love with you the moment he found out you were also repeating your senior year, not for the third time like him but still. He thought it was cute how embarrassed you were about the fact that you were repeating, he loved the way he was able to help you be more comfortable and help you understand that it’s not your fault.

 He felt like- He thought that he was something special to you, he hoped he was something special to you. He treats you like you’re something special to him because you are- or at least he thought he treated you like that. 

Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he should’ve invited you to play in Hellfire more often, invited you over more, given you more of his lunch when your aunt forgot to give you money, and given you a better discount on his weed. Maybe he should’ve just been less of a freak. 

Tears are gathering in his eyes as he angrily rubs at them, feeling pathetic. Crying over a girl in a bathroom stall. I really am a fucking loser. 

He takes a few deep breaths before getting off the ground, leaving the bathroom, and heading to the cafeteria. He expects to see you at his table, and the butterflies in his stomach come back to life when he imagines the tone you’ll give him when you ask where he’s been like you always do when he’s late. He grabs lunch and sits down… you’re nowhere to be seen. 

“Where’s your better half?” Gareth asks, gaining a laugh from the table. It just hurts Eddie more. He stays silent, pulling out his Walkman and letting music drown out every voice or thought in his head until he sees people getting up to leave. 

“Hey, Ed.” Gareth is the only one who waited for him.

“I’m sorry if I was an ass earlier. I know you like her, I just- I thought you actually did know where she was.” Eddie feels his throat close up and almost rolls his eyes at himself. 

“It’s fine, Gareth. She’s probably off with Chrissy Cunningham.” He says with a gruff, tense voice, ignoring the shock that plasters on Gareth’s face.

“Cunningham? What- How does she even know her?” Eddie shrugs and starts walking to his next class, Gareth following close behind. “She’s like what? Friends with them now? She’s gonna be a cheerleader or something?” Eddie feels his emotions building inside him, like an overfilled balloon and he’s about to pop. 

He stops walking and turns to him. “I don't fucking know, Gareth.” Gareth’s gaze shifts from Eddie immediately. “I don’t know why she’s hanging out with them now. I don’t know why she doesn’t come to Hellfire or why she doesn’t talk to me on the ride to her house anymore. I don’t know!” Eddie is met with silence at the end of his rant. “Oh! I know.” His voice has dropped to a low, condescending, whisper. 

“Maybe she got tired of being one of the freaks, hmm?” He rushes off to his next class and for the first time, he’s grateful that you’re not in it. 

You’re in class and your thoughts could not be further from the material. You’re thinking about Eddie of course. The way he acted in the van yesterday, the way he acted in first period, and even second period. You noticed he came into lunch late and didn’t even speak to anyone when he did come in. He didn’t look at you, talk to you, or anything. It hurt. 

You’re anxious, leg bouncing and chewing on your pen as you watch the clock. You need to see him, ask him what’s wrong. 

Maybe he figured it out. Fear shoots through you. Maybe he figured out that I like him from the comic. I didn’t get to explain much but he’s smart enough to figure it out on his own. Is this his reaction to my liking him? No. It can’t be. Even if he didn’t like me back… I don’t think he’d treat me like this. I think he would let me down gently.  

It’s a nice thought but it just leaves you back where you started. What is wrong with Eddie?

You’re ready to ask him. You got there first and pulled his desk a little closer to yours, hoping to have a full, meaningful conversation with him. He never shows. 

This isn’t alarming to anyone but you, everyone scoffs when the teacher reads out Eddie’s name the second time. There are murmurs of “took him long enough” and “I’m so shocked” hurting you with their lack of care. You wait for attendance to finish before asking to go to the bathroom. You take your bag with you and no one questions it, knowing you as the ‘good girl’, not realizing you’re about to skip class for the first time. 

You roam the school looking for Eddie. You check Hellfire’s room, the band room, even the art room but you can’t find him. You check places he wouldn’t be, the library, the computer lab, and even the abandoned school basement. Your heart is racing as you rush out to the parking lot, hoping at least his van is still here and that’s where you find him. Coughing on what you assume is cigarette smoke by his van.

“Eddie!” You shout his name without thinking and his head whips in your direction, shocked. A smile spreads on his face as you stomp toward him. Despite all the unknowing pain you’ve put him through today, the butterflies in his stomach are still alive for you. 

“Eddie, what the fuck?” His smile falters but quickly returns as he goes to hand you the joint he’s smoking. 

“You’re skipping!? You look like you need this more than I do.” You take the joint and inhale the most smoke you can without burning your lungs, Eddie looks impressed. 

“I do need this more than you.” You speak as you exhale. Eddie is staring at the joint, waiting for you to pass it back but instead, you take another hit. “I need this more than you do because I’m not the one who is stressing you beyond oblivion! What is going on with you?” Eddie’s eyes are on the ground as he kicks the little rocks there. 

“Eddie. You know you can talk to me, right? If anything is going on with Wayne or- or maybe something else? I don’t know I- I just- I can’t figure out why you’re acting so… different.”

He laughs. He fully laughs at you. His hand on his chest, leaning back and roaring his laughter into the air. “I’m acting different?” He snatches the joint from your hand. “I’m the one acting different, sweetheart? Miss ‘So sorry I can’t come to Hellfire today! No! I’m not going to explain!’, you’re telling me that I’m acting different?” He takes a drag 

“You don’t care about my campaigns anymore, you never have time to come over, you never have time for me to come over, and now you- you don’t sit with me at- at lunch anymore?” His voice breaks at the end and he turns away to take a hit before you can see the tears in his eyes. “Don’t tell me that I’m stressing you out.” He scoffs and holds his hand out, passing you the joint. 

It strikes something in you; Eddie still passing the joint back to you even though he’s upset. You take it from him with a small ‘thank you’ and take a hit before responding. “I was- It was the comic Eddie… I was working on the comic. It was harder than it looked I guess. I- I couldn’t get your hair right and-”

Eddie hasn’t reacted, he feels like he’s in shock, like his heart has stopped, he’s having a stroke, something. Your voice sounds far away as he’s buried in his thoughts. 

I’m a dickhead. I’m an asshole. She was doing it for me and I’m- I was yelling at her for it. I’m a fucking asshole. She’s still talking to me so softly too. Fuck. Why isn’t she upset with me? Why isn't she yelling at me? Why aren’t I apologizing? 

“I’m sorry!” His voice is the epitome of pitiful, he didn’t notice the knot that had made home in his throat or the tears that had been sitting on the ducts. Your eyes are wide and you almost drop the joint to hug him, knowing he gets emotional when he’s high. 

“Why are you sorry? You don’t need to be sorry- what’s wrong?” His arms wrap around you, crushing you to his chest as he huffs out breaths into your hair. He’s trying to calm down, trying to not completely break down in front of you but he’s failing so far. 

Fuck- fuck. Stop crying- what the fuck happened to you? Stop blubbering like a bitch- She’s she’s so soft- oh fuck she’s so warm. She’s so fucking sweet. I fucking love her. She’s- She’s so stupid.

“I do ne- need to be sorry what are you talking about?” He pulls away, leaving one hand on your shoulder as he runs his knuckles and the back of his arm along the bottom of his nose. “I was being an asshole- an asshole. When you were just tryna do something nice.” He’s breathing out shuddering breaths as he speaks. 

She’s too sweet to me. She still has her arms around me- such a fucking sweetheart. I love her- I want her, I wanna tell her. 

You don’t know what the fuck is going on. Eddie is a blubbery mess in front of you, holding you close as he tries to calm himself down. He’s gripping your shoulder so hard you feel like he may puncture your skin but you never want him to move it. 

You should be focusing on the fact that he’s crying because he thinks he was mean to you but all you can think about is one thing.

His lips are wet and pink from his tears and his teeth.

You try to ignore it; the urge to kiss him. You try to think about how to comfort him but your arms are still around his waist, it would be so easy to just pull him in…

“Eddie. I don’t mind, I should’ve told you.” You separate from him and he gasps softly. 

“I was actually spending so much time on it for a more selfish reason.” Your heart is racing but not as much as it was the last time you planned to confess. 

How nice he is to you has to mean something, he gives you a ride home every day. That has to mean something. He gives you discounts on weed when you know he makes Gareth pay extra. How upset he is over possibly being mean to you. That has to mean something. The way he’s looking at you right now… That has to mean something. 

“Eddie, I like you.” You shove the words out of your throat, leaving you breathless after they come out. “I- shit.” You looked at him. His face is blank. “I really like you, so much that if you don’t like me back I- I don’t care- We- we can just be friends. We can- I can pretend that this never happened… It’s okay.” You’re a little frantic as you get the words out, nervous at Eddie’s silence. 

You risk a glance at his face and there are tears in his eyes again. “Can I kiss-” He inhales a gasp. “Can I kiss you?” His face is full of wonder like he’s genuinely in disbelief at what’s happening. 

You want to cry. “Yes. Please.” You try not to sound too eager but you’re already taking a step toward him and your hands are reaching for him. 

He’s all over you in an instant, whimpering into your mouth the moment your lips meet. His hands are covering both sides of your face, pulling you into him desperately. He’s twisted you up against his van, his hands moved to your waist to bring you impossibly closer. You pull away with a smile to breathe but Eddie whimpers and leans back into your lips. 

You can’t help the giggle that comes out, breaking the kiss and causing Eddie to whine again. “I thought you wanted to kiss me? Kiss me.” 

“Wait- I’m a-” Eddie pulls back to let you speak, although you can see he wishes he didn’t have to. “Eddie… You like me?” His eyes widen and his face turns red at the question. 

“How is that even a question you’re asking me right now? I- of course, I like you. I can’t believe that you like me.” His voice is gentle as he speaks, tense like he’s waiting for you to change your mind about him. You shake your head with a smile and pull him back in, humming happily as his lips eagerly press into yours. 

You guys left school then, Eddie drives you both to his place and you guys finish the joint on the way. His hand was on your thigh the whole time with that shining, dimpled smile, beaming at the road the entire ride. It was the best ride of your life, it had you thinking about your life with him. 

How much you’d love him. How you’d give him hugs and kisses no matter where you guys were. You thought about how in love you are, it’d be pretty annoying to everyone else but you wouldn’t even care. You know he’d love it too, you’d give you everything you have, had, and ever will have. 

Thank you so much for reading! and thank you even more for requesting!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[luvrxbunny]

my love

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Joel tells you that he loves you for the first time.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, brief mentions of oral and fingering,  piv, unprotected sex, hair pulling, overstimulation (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.4k

A/N: This one is kinda short and like half flashback and the ending feels off but enjoy? *distant sobbing* 

It happened the first time you had slept with him. The night was long awaited by you because Joel had insisted on taking you on three dates first. The first one is chaste, solely for getting to know each other. You had pointed out that you already knew him but he said it didn't matter. The second one is when he finally kissed you. The two weeks that went by between dates had been torture to you, all your advances being softly denied by Joel. On that date, the third date is when Joel had, at long last, accepted your invitation into your house. 

There was a lot of foreplay, Joel had made you cum with his fingers and his mouth before even taking his pants off. Even once he did take them off he ran back to his car to grab a condom, insisting on it. It was heaven once he finally started fucking into you, it took you a little longer to cum, having lost some sensitivity from your two other orgasms but Joel was able to keep up. He never made you even start to think that you were taking too long, he was perfect and came at the same time as you. You had watched his eyes shut lightly, still watching you as he groaned out your name, his hips bucked softly into you. He huffed out a small laugh as he got off of you, he removed the condom quickly and pulled his underwear back up. “Was that okay, baby?”

“Fuck yeah, it was!” You rolled over and placed your arm on his chest, to rest your chin on it. “Very worth the wait.” He chuckled and rubbed his hand up and down your back. “Would… would you agree?” You asked him nervously.

“Oh yeah, honey. You know I would.” He said with a laugh. You smiled at his answers and relaxed into him, you nuzzled your face into his chest and brought your leg up over his thighs. Once it was in the position you wanted, you noticed something press against your knee.

It confused you at first, you assumed it was just his stomach or something. But then you noticed how tense he was, and that he was holding his breath You lifted your head off of his chest to look at his face just to find him already watching you. His eyes gave him away, unnecessarily guarded and wider than normal.

You moved your leg away, your eyes still watching his face as you removed the blanket. You almost stopped breathing when you saw him, still hard in his briefs. You backed away, removing all contact with him. You started curling in on yourself, suddenly aware of how naked you were. Joel's "orgasm" played in your head over and over, the thought that you couldn't even make him cum once after he made you cum three times embarrassed you to no end. The idea that instead of continuing he just gave up and faked it, had your heart shattering inside your chest. Your arms crossed protectively over your chest as you looked around nervously. “What the fuck?” You asked with an incredulous laugh. 

He started breathing again, fast as he sat up. “Honey.” He spoke softly, his hands reached out to your arm but you backed away. You pulled the sheets up to your neck and scooted away, suddenly self-conscious. “No, c’mon, baby it’s not-” He sighed defeatedly and dropped his hands back down to the bed. “It’s not like that. I’m just-” He sighed again and drew back, his hands folded in his lap, his eyes were cast downward. “There’s just some things a little uh… wrong with me.” He chuckled sadly.

You waited for him to continue talking but he just shook his head down at his lap. “Joel, you need to explain yourself now.” His head snapped up at you like he forgot you were there. “Yeah I- No, I know that…” He dropped his head and sighed to himself. “I’m just workin’ up the courage.”

You sat there in silence for a little while before he turned to you and started talking. 

“I’m... unable to cum uh- sometimes. It’s not… uncommon for me. I need you to know that it has absolutely nothin’, and I mean nothin’ to do with you, or my feelings for you. If this-” He gestured to his general crotch area 

“If this was based on how I feel about you I would’ve cum 5 times by now but-” He took a deep breath and shook his head at himself. “Unfortunately, it’s not. I get… a little too in my head, especially in this situation. I just wanna make sure you’re feeling good and- and comfortable and-” He took another breath. 

You could tell he was getting flustered, he started rambling a bit, getting off track. “It just- I end up unable to… finish. It doesn’t matter how good it may feel or how fucking... badly I want to” His gaze drifted up from his lap to your lower stomach, even though it was covered by the sheet.   

You scooted closer to him and took his hand in yours to comfort him as he finished talking. “It happens when I get stressed too… I’m not stressed right now.” He added quickly. “I’m just in my head a little, that’s all.”

You had comforted him the rest of the night but you know he still felt bad, you know because you guys did nothing sexual for the next three weeks after.

It’s been seven months now and Joel is very comfortable with sexual activities. He’s fucked you countless times since but you can count on one hand how many times he’s actually cum. You try not to let it eat you up. Joel always reassures you, he reminds you that it's okay, that he doesn’t really need to cum anymore, that it has nothing to do with you and he just wants to make you feel good. It doesn’t stop the guilt though, because you can’t ignore the fact that you’ve never actually made him cum. The few times he’s cum were all times where he was the one touching himself and you were around or talking him through it. That little fact makes it very hard to believe it has nothing to do with you.  

This morning Joel had woken up a little horny. You woke up to him hovering over you, kissing along your neck, whispering little praises into your ear as he ran his hands up and down your body. 

Over an hour and three orgasms later Joel is still fucking into you with the same rigor he started with. 

“Fuck! Joel keep- right there.” Your voice dies as you moan out Joel’s name. He smiles down at you and grips your hips tighter, pulling them off the bed to meet his. “You’re feeling good, honey?”

You reach a hand up to paw at his chest, raking your nails down and leaving red streaks in their wake. “Feeling so fucking good, Joel.” Your thighs are shaking from where they rest on his hips, he brings his thumb up to your clit, trying to get you to cum around him again.

His hand is immediately pushed away by you with a loud whine. “T-too sensitive, baby, but I’m close.” Your hand reaches up at Joel and he leans down for you. You wrap your hand behind his neck and pull his body into you. “I love you so much, Joel. You feel so good- making me feel so-” You cut yourself off with a moan and kiss him. 

You’ve said ‘I love you’ to Joel before. He didn’t say it back and you adamantly assure him that he doesn't need to. You understand that loving is hard for him, with all the people he’s loved and lost, you can see why it would be hard for him to love again. You just needed him to know how you felt about him, you don’t need anything in return.

He leans down to bury himself in your neck, his arm coming up behind your head to cradle it. He starts stroking your hair softly as you mumble in his ear. “You’re so amazing, Joel, so perfect. Always making me feel so good, so cared for.” You moan out his name as he hits your G-spot perfectly. Your hands tangle themselves in his hair, pulling him out of your neck and forcing him to your lips. Joel pulls apart when you clench down on him, pushing a gasp from his lips.

“You fuck me so well, Joel. I can’t even make myself cum as hard as you can.” Your brain has shut off by now, three orgasms and one approaching finally taking their toll on you. You’re rambling off every thought that pops into your head and Joel loves it. He still has his face in front of yours as he moans in response to everything you say. 

“I love you s’much, Joel. I don’t care about what anyone says, you’re an angel. S-so good..” Your sentence morphs into a groan as your pussy pulses around Joel for the fourth time this morning. 

“Holy fuck, darlin’. You’re killin’ me.” His voice is strained when it comes out, hot and raspy against your face, ending in a groan. His cock is throbbing inside you as you squeeze and cream around him. “Keep talking to me, baby. Gimme one more and I’ll stop.”

You moan painfully at the thought of cumming again but the idea slowly becomes more and more appealing as he keeps thrusting into you. “Okay. Okay, Joel. Whatever you want, whatever you need.” Your hands desperately scratch at his back, earning more moans from his as he buries his face in your neck. He groans desperately and his hips speed up as he soaks in everything you tell him. 

“Treat me so well, baby. You’re so amazing, I love you so much.” You mutter into his hair as his skin slaps against yours, creating a clapping noise in the room along with the sounds of your soaked pussy but all you can hear are Joel’s moans. His hips are pistoning into you, your whole body moving with the force of them. “Joel fuck k- keep going- oh fuck. Right there, my love. Holy shit, you’re incredible.”

Joel’s hips lose rhythm at ‘my love’ but quickly fall back into his previous pace. He's groaning out your name into your ear as you moan and whimper against him. He hears your moans speed up, knowing that you’re getting close to your fifth high of the morning.

He can feel the pride swell in his chest at the thought that he had brought you to five orgasms in one morning. He feels something flood him, taking over his bloodstream and filling his veins. He feels his cock twitch and his heart begins to race.

He knows you felt him twitch by the way your moans pick up. They’re only getting higher in pitch and more frantic. Your legs are twitching back to life and pulling him in with what little strength they have left. You’re muttering into his ear, something like a whimper that resembles a plea. 

“I love you so much, baby. Fuck- I’m gonna cum so hard, love.” Joel groans into your ear.

Your reaction to his words is visceral. You note the shake in his voice and unleash a screaming moan as you cum around him. Your whole body tenses as your eyes roll back into your head. Your legs lock around him and hold him in place as he twitches inside of you. He’s moaning into your neck as you cum around him and you feel his muscles start to tense. His hips thrust shallowly and curtly, and he can feel his balls throbbing as you whine. He turns his head to whisper to you, “I love you so fuckin’ much” and erupts.

It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever witnessed. His head comes up from your neck to press a desperate kiss to your lips while he moans. You can feel wetness touch your eyelids and cheek, where his eyes rest as he presses his face into yours. His cock is spurting inside you, filling you to the brim with his pent-up cum. Joel is trying to keep quiet, he’s biting his lip and groaning with each pulse of his cock. You bring a hand from behind his head to place it on his face, your thumb on his bottom lip and pulling it out from between his teeth. The action has his eyes rolling back and a distraught moan releasing from his throat. His hips stutter against yours again as a new wave of cum empties inside you with a painful groan. 

You watch his face contort in pleasure as he overflows your pussy with little teardrops on his eyelashes. If you could cum again, you would be. You can feel his cum start to drip out of you, down your ass, and onto the sheets, joining the puddle of your cum that already resides there. You pull his face to yours and place a kiss on the corner of his open mouth while he whines out for you. You kiss down his neck as his hips twitch against yours, his cock is drained, weakly twitching inside you but he can’t bring himself to pull out yet.

One of your hands is running up and down his back while the other is scratching lightly on his scalp to calm him. He’s taking deep, shaky breaths as his arms begin to shake. He lowers himself to you slowly, placing all his weight on you like a blanket. You giggle happily and kiss his forehead softly. You both stay like that for a little bit, waiting for his hips to stop stuttering into yours.

“You okay?” You ask gently, still rubbing his back. His breathing still hasn’t evened out, he gasps gently at the sound of your voice and nods against you. You’ve never seen him like this, all fucked out… You love it. “Good, baby. You wanna roll over so I can clean up?”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion before he rolls over to his side of the bed, pulling you with him. You giggle at the sudden change in position, now on top of him. His side is relatively untouched by either of your cum. You instantly spot a flaw in this solution and speak up. “Okay, but I still have cum on me, sweetheart.” He’s breathless at the nickname and frowning at the rest of your words. 

“Just stay.” His voice is gravelly when he speaks, rough from all his moans and groans. It relaxes your whole body and you bury your face in his neck, giving into him way too easily. “Thank you… I love you.” He says the last part like a whisper and a smile forces its way onto his face when he hears your small gasp in response. 

“I love you too, Joel.” You whisper back at him before you both drift to sleep, satisfied with the morning, with the day... satisfied with your lives, as long as you're together.  

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[luvrxbunny]

buzz

Pairing: DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You get high with Joel and some things are discussed. 

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, alcohol consumption, smoking (weed), praise kink-ish, hair pulling, dry humping, cum in pants(?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.5k

A/N: I definitely have a thing for guys cumming in their pants. 

You speed the whole way to Joel’s house. You were supposed to be there at 12:30 pm but after some time management and fashion complications you were arriving at 2:45 pm. You knew your father was going to murder you, he had been planning this barbeque for weeks, and he had gotten the whole neighborhood involved as well. You knock frantically until Joel answers the door. 

Your spine straightens as you watch a smile spread over his face. “Look who decided to drop by!” You grunt at him and let yourself in. “I know Joel! Where is he? I brought pumpkin pie..?” You offer as an apology.

You whirl around the kitchen, looking for somewhere to put it. Joel watches you run around his kitchen, your little pink skirt twirling around with you. “How ‘bout you give me that pie and just go see your old man?” You stop your search and look at him like he’s saved your life. “Perfect! So perfect Joel! You’re lovely.” You kiss him on the cheek quickly and run off to find your dad. Joel is left standing in the middle of his kitchen with your pie in his hands and the ghost of your kiss on his cheek. He chuckles before setting it down, pretending like a blush isn’t rising to his cheeks and spreading over his face.

“Dad?!” You finally find your father in Joel's backyard and wrap your arms around him tightly. “I’m so sorry! I couldn’t find an outfit and then I had to go to like three whole different stores to find the stupid pumpkin pie that no one even asked for and then by the time I started heading over here I was like an hour away and-”  He cuts off your rambling with a deep laugh. 

“Don’t worry about it honeybee!” He comes a bit closer to whisper in your ear. “Got all the neighborhood women here with Joel answering the door,” He tells you. You assume he's been drinking as laughter escapes him with every word. “Ugh! Stop it, Dad.” 

You cover your face with a laugh, shaking your head because you know exactly what he’s talking about. You and Joel talk about it all the time. It had come up during one of your many late-night talks, and he denied it to no end, he had no clue that the women in the neighborhood wanted him. You had to start pointing out their behaviors to him. The way some wives would offer to make him a plate while their husbands were empty-handed, how there was always at least one lady asking to fix him a drink, and there was even a lady who offered to fan him on a hot day. Joel accepted that you were right and now basked in the attention. He openly entertains their flirting now, offering to do husbandly tasks around the house from time to time.

You almost wish you hadn’t made him aware of it. Now you have to watch them flirt with him while knowing that he knows they want him. You’re aware of the way his chest slightly puffs out when they compliment him, something he used to only do for you. When you used to bathe in the way he reacted to your compliments, your innuendos, but now they’re commonplace for him. You liked to see the way he craved them, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

He’d do little things for you, fix you a plate, offer to drive you anywhere you wanted to go, just to hear it. Now though, he doesn’t need it. If he ever needs a confidence boost, Joel can just put it in your dad’s head that he needs to throw a barbecue. Joel always hosts because he has the best backyard so your dad never has any reason to say no, plus he loves grilling for the neighborhood.

You imagine that's how this cookout came to be as you’re standing with your dad and his friends. You aren’t listening to the conversation, you’re watching Joel. He has a beer in his hand and looks a little uncomfortable in his shirt, fiddling with his collar as he’s swarmed by the wives. You can see that the tips of his ears are red, presumably from the attention of the whores the wives. Anger bubbles in your chest as watch his dimple appear on his cheek when they talk to him, no doubt praising every aspect of him. You have no right to feel this way, he isn't yours. You decide to ignore the feeling and get another drink.

The night moves on and you can hear people gathering their things to head home. You migrated inside halfway through the night to “recharge your social battery” when you’re really just smoking in Joel’s garage/workshop. You’re sitting on a small office couch, through the walls you listen to people thank Joel and your father before leaving. You wait for a few more minutes, finishing off your joint before spraying yourself down and coming out. 

You make your way over to the living room to find your dad and Joel sitting on opposite ends of the sectional, drinking and watching TV. Joel looks more comfortable now that he’s changed out of his jeans and button-up and into a t-shirt and sweatpants. 

“Hey, honeybee! C’mere make yourself comfortable!” You smile at your dad’s invitation and sit in the corner seat, between him and Joel. 

“Where’d you run off to? Mrs. Thompson was asking for you.” You can hear a bit of sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Dad. She was harassing me all night! Asking about why I was late, how it wasn’t fair to you, that I need to get my act together and I couldn’t deal.” You state, outwardly upset. “I mean I already know these things and I feel bad enough y’know? I just don’t need to hear it from a lady who takes her dogs to brunch.” Joel bursts out laughing at your remark causing a smile to spread on your face.

“The kid’s got a point, man. That lady will talk you into a coma if you let her.” He mutters as he takes another swig of his beer. You feel smugness settle in your chest at the fact that Joel is siding with you. Your dad nods his head and mumbles out in agreement and you all focus on the TV. You’re not paying attention to whatever it is that they’re watching due to the light buzz you’ve got going.

Instead, you’re thinking about Joel. The gray strands in his hair, the patches in his beard, his hands, his arms... your mind swarms with everything that is him. Until you feel a light push against your arm, you turn to see Joel pointing at your dad, an amused smile on his face. You’re head whirls around to see your dad, passed out on the couch. You laugh gently at him and shake your head before walking over to wake him up. You shake his arm gently, “C’mon pop, you should head on home.” You say with a light giggle as he groans, pushing himself up from the seat to give you a tight hug. “Alright honeybee, you got me.” You laugh into his shoulder as he squeezes you and let's go. You see his face scrunch up before sniffing lightly, “You smell that?”

You tense for a short moment before answering, “Yeah I know! I was in Joel’s workshop and it smells funky in there!” Your dad is shaking his head in disapproval at Joel as you hold in laughter. “Joel, you really gotta clean up in there, man okay?” He laughs as he pulls Joel in for a brief hug before leaving.

Joel immediately turns around and gives you a look. “If you’re gonna be smokin’ in my garage you can’t start blamin' your stink on me, darlin’. ” He has a soft smirk on his face as he says this, changing the channel from what looks like football to an episode of Rick & Morty, and walking to his kitchen.

“Oh, whatever! I don’t wanna hear complaining as long as I’m sharing with you, for free, might I add!” You shout back at him.

Joel walks out of the kitchen and towards you with snacks and drinks. He sits back down on the couch, a bit closer to you than he was before, and sets them down. You quickly grab a drink, your favorite, and open it up, “Joel, I didn’t know you had these!” You announce while happily sipping. He kicks his feet up on the table as he starts another beer, focused on the screen in front of him. “No, you jus' mentioned them the last time you were here,” He points at the TV, “same with this shit.”

You’re frozen as you process what he’s told you, that he listens, it makes you feel warm and happy as you sink into the couch. You guys sit there, drinking and laughing at the show for a while. Your cans are both empty by the time you remember you have a blunt in your bag. 

You interrupt the show with a dramatic gasp and run over to his workshop.

“What?! What?” Joel shouts at you as you run, worried until he hears your giggles and sees you return with a blunt and a pink lighter.

“Jesus, honey.” He places a hand on his chest and huffs out a laugh before continuing, “nearly gave me a damn heart attack, thought you were sick or something.”

His care for you makes your stomach tingle, in a wholesome and not so wholesome way.

“Aww Joel, you’re gonna make me burn up.” You say while fanning your face jokingly, despite it being completely true. You walk up to where Joel is sitting and light the blunt before handing it to him and walking over to the kitchen, taking his empty can with you to the trash. You think you can feel Joel’s eyes on your hips as you walk away but ultimately chalk it up to your delusions. 

Joel watches the way your ass moves as you walk away, taking a long hit from the blunt in an attempt to calm himself. You walk back into the room with some apple juice and the biggest smile on your face, “I fucking love apple juice” you giggle out at him, a little tipsy. 

He chuckles before taking another hit, “S’why I buy ‘em, sweetheart.” His voice is strained from the puff he’s holding in and looks over at you as he exhales. You’re looking at him in a way he hasn’t seen before, with something in your eye that he doesn’t recognize. “What's wrong?” He sounds concerned, his tone snapping you out of your trance and you begin to make your way over to him. 

“Nothing is wrong.” You take the blunt from him and sit back down, closer to him than you were before. “I’m thinking about how much the neighborhood wives would pay to be in my position.” This gets a loud, booming laugh out of Joel that makes your heart race. You giggle quietly as you take a hit, trying not to choke on the smoke while laughing. 

“You are too damn funny, kid. The wives should keep their money, and spend it on something nice.” He chuckles and sinks further into the couch, feeling his high start to hit when you pass the blunt back to him. 

“Aww stop it, Joel. You’re definitely something nice.” You push him gently, he exaggerates it and throws himself across the couch, making you laugh. “Stop, I’m serious!” You raise your voice over his fake groans of pain as pass the blunt.

“Yeah yeah I know, I just- honestly?” He pauses to take a large drag before continuing, “I just wouldn’t know what to do with ‘em.” He shrugs and passes the blunt back to you. “I don’t even know what ladies like nowadays” He finishes with a sad chuckle and shrugs.

“Really? I always assumed you were some crazy bachelor by night.” You say with a serious look before taking another puff.

“Ha. Ha. No, I’m serious. If I had all this attention when I was 19- hell even 18, I would’ve been all over these women,” He laughs softly. “but Sarah was born and I uh-” He turns to you and reaches for the blunt delicately, which you had over with a fond smile. He takes a hit before he continues, “Yeah so Sarah was born and I was so just busy raising her that I never really had time?”

You scoot closer to him take the blunt and drop some ashes in your empty apple juice bottle. You’re sitting on your legs as you listen to him, close enough that your knees are now touching his thigh and you’re blowing smoke into his cheek.

“I guess but she’s 19 now, Joel. She doesn’t really need you to raise her anymore.” You take another hit as you hear him softly gasp and put a hand over his chest.

“You’re gonna break my old heart, darlin’. You can’t say that to me.” He turns to you with a fake crying expression and you can tell he’s high, his eyes are dropping, a little unfocused, and almost bloodshot. It makes you giggle.

“She still needs you as a parent of course but you can get back out there. You’d be such a hit.” You laugh as you take another hit and Joel repositions himself so he’s a little more turned towards you, his arm comes up to rest on the couch behind you and one leg gets pulled up on the couch so your knees are now touching his shin.

“Would I?” He questions with his eyebrows furrowed and you’re about to answer him but the words die on your tongue. You watch his hand grab your wrist, twist so your palm is facing him, and pull the blunt to his mouth from between your fingers, holding you in place as he takes a hit. The action and contact have you throbbing between your legs, worsening when he releases you and you watch him close his eyes and exhale, his head falling slightly back before looking over at you. “In the dating pool, I mean. Do you really think I’d be a-” His hands come up for air quotes. “Hit?”

You have to gather your thoughts a bit before answering him. “Oh yeah, Joel. You’re exactly what women want.” You take another hit as Joel chuckles and stretches his neck before letting his head fall back on the couch, he places his foot back on the floor and adjusts his hips, spreading his legs a bit more. “What do ‘ya mean?” He grunts out.

You’re too busy staring at his hips to notice his question. You think you see something twitch against his thigh, your eyes dart up and make contact with his the moment you do. Joel reaches over and takes the blunt, you admire him as he takes a few hits before speaking again. “I asked you to explain, sweetheart.”

“Oh- uh, you’re just a specimen, Joel.” Your tongue is looser, your filter is off: you’re high. “You’re big and broad and you care. You’re nice to people and really mean to others and you’re so.. strong.” Joel takes another hit with a soft groan as you ramble deliriously. You notice something starting to press against his sweatpants and become fixated on it. “You’re protective and shy and you’re always trying. Your hair is salt and peppery and so fluffy-” You cut yourself off with a dramatic groan to emphasize your point. “You have a beard and warm brown eyes.” You’re watching his hips as they start to gently thrust into the air. He’s still holding the blunt but it’s been forgotten, the little orange bud having gone out. You can watch him fill up in his sweatpants, unconstricted, just pressing right up against the fabric. “You look scary but you’re actually not, girls- ladies um, they love that.”

Your heart is racing and you’re leaking between your legs, to the point where you’re worried you’ve soaked your panties through and started staining Joel’s couch. Your hips begin to subconsciously grind clit against your heel in time with Joel’s thrusts. “Uhm-” Your breathing is getting heavy but you can’t help it. “You’re voice is so good, s-smooth and deep an-and you have that southern accent.” Your eyes are hooded as you move your eyes up to see him, watching his furrowed expression as best you can with his face to the ceiling. "You're big, you're broad and all muscle.." You can see his chest beginning to heave as his eyelids flutter gently, still closed as his hips grind into the air. “And you’re such a gentleman Joel.”

Your voice has pitched up into a whine and it forces his eyes open, they meet your instantly. A groan comes from his throat as he registers your slowing hips, embarrassment creeping up inside you. He holds his eye contact with you as his hips stutter, his irises consumed by his pupil. Your eyes wander down from his to his lips and his tongue runs over them reflexively. When they meet him again they’re more desperate, his breaths coming faster. “So you wanna c’mere an’ kiss me or what?” He says with an uncharacteristically nervous tone, a hot red blush rising on his cheeks as you watch him twitch in his pants.

You swing one leg over him as soon as he offers, placing yourself directly over his bulge and his hands are gripping you instantly. “HOLY-” Joel shouts quickly and breathlessly the moment your pussy presses against him. “Fuck- I’m sorry- forgot we smoked. Fuck my body is fuckin’ vibratin’- I’m sorry.”

You huff out a soft laugh and put the rest of your weight down on him, earning a groan from him. “I know-” I moan slips out of you as you slowly start moving your hips. “I feel it too, Joel” 

You whisper gently in his ear before grinding yourself against him fully, the fabric of his sweatpants feeling perfect when pressed into you. His hands are gripping his hips and his head is still thrown back over the couch. He has his eyes pressed shut and rugged groans slip out of him as he begins to buck up into you, finally bringing his head up.

“Fuuuck, sweetie. Are all girls as soft as you now? Huh? Or are you special?” He moans against your ear, his breath tingling as it runs over the back of your neck. You’ve buried your face in the crook of his neck as your hips hump into him, one is gripping the fabric on his lower back, trying to push him against you harder and the other is behind his neck, sliding its way up into his hair. Once it reaches its destination you get a shocked moan from Joel as he pushes his head back into your hand. You moan and speed your hips up, rubbing your clit against him perfectly.

“I’m special.” You moan into his ear in response, feeling pleasure pool in your stomach and begin to spill over as Joel thrusts up into you. Your hands pull his hair earning a beautiful whine from him and begin to shake as your hips stutter. "All guys moan like this or are you special?“ You manage to get out in between moans, taunting him with his words. He moans even louder at your words, his hips speeding up in an impossible pace. You're almost overwhelmed with all the pleasure assaulting your senses. "N-Never felt this good before- shit, Joel.” His name comes out as a whine before you moan out and start cumming in his lap.

Your back is arched and your hips are grinding frantically into his cock as you moan in his ear, yanking on his hair in the process. You feel his huge arms wrap around you and hug you tightly to his chest before his hips smash up into you. He has his face turned into your neck and is whimpering into it every time his cock makes contact with your soft pussy. 

"Thank you, baby. Thank you, honey- fuck, feels so fuckin' good." His voice devolves into a whine as he freezes and you can feel his cock pulse against you. You feel him twitch several times as a wet patch spreads under your pussy. You can feel his lips open in a silent moan against your neck. He sounds winded when he starts breathing again, moans sliding out alongside his exhales. 

His muscles stop shaking before he speaks again, a sad groan coming out of him as he opens his mouth. “I used to be better than this, I swear.” His eyes are still closed as he gently presses up into you again with a groan, his cock twitching and spurting more cum into his pants. “Back in my prime, I would’ve rocked your world, would’ve had you shaking for me.”

You giggle into his neck before pulling back and placing a kiss on his nose softly. “I think you are in your prime, Joel.” He looks at you in disbelief.

“I don't see you shakin’, sweetheart.” You shake your head at him softly and grab his face with both of your hands. “I’m willing to give you time to change that.”

You see his eyes darken and his breathing gets shallow again, his hands tightening around you. He leans into your face with a smirk. “Y’know, I never even got that kiss…”

You giggle and pull him to you, kissing him with everything you have and feeling in the depths of your soul, that this was going to become a regular thing for you. You smile against Joel’s lips and your heart races at the thought. You pull away to giggle but he pulls you right back in, muttering out a muffled “Not enough” before smashing his lips to yours. 

You kiss him as much as he wants, bathing in his attention, for the rest of the night. 

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[luvrxbunny]

bath time

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Ellie steals the hot water. Joel has a solution. 

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, piv, unprotected sex, hair pulling (lmk if i forgot anything)

WC: 4.2k

A/N: i just hope you gyus like it :(

You worked in the fields today, it was disgustingly hot and horribly muddy from the rain a few days ago. Your clothes are a mess they’ve earned a few new rips, and some frays at the edges. They’re absolutely covered, completely caked in mud. You slipped on some sludge and just your luck, your foot fell into a pothole. It tripped you and you fell almost face-first into the soil. Your day has just felt downhill ever since. The only thing you’ve been looking forward to is getting home before Ellie so you could be the one to use up all the hot water this time. 

Your dreams shattered when you opened the door to see Ellie in the kitchen, in her towel, wet. Your shoulders drop, immediately defeated at the sight. “Did you use all the water again?” 

You ask with anger latched onto every word as you remove your muddy boots, you flip your muddy socks inside out before placing them inside the boots and standing.

You aren’t looking at her, your eyes are closed and your fingers pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to stave off the headache building behind your eyes. “Uhh… I didn’t use all the water.” 

You can hear a little giggle in her voice that you would’ve found so cute on any other day. “This really isn’t funny, Ellie. Joel and I work, we want to be able to come home and take a nice shower.” You’re glaring at her unfairly, it's not her fault that you had a bad day. 

“Okay, well..” She sounds awkward, a little upset at how you received her banter. “I think- I’m pretty sure there’s still a little left… I’m sorry.” The tone she uses for the apology sounds a bit sarcastic but you can hear sincerity in her voice. It has guilt shooting through you.

You sigh and look up at her, she’s clutching her towel and looking at the ground. Her face is scrunched up, her eyebrows are furrowed, and her mouth in a scowl. You can see her blinking confusedly at the spot she’s staring at. “I’m sorry.” Her head whips up at your voice to meet your eyes, adjusting her towel uncomfortably. “I had a bad day. I shouldn’t have been mean. I just.. I really would appreciate it if you could leave some hot water for Joel and I.” 

Ellie has a small smile on her face as she nods at you. “Yeah. Sure. I will.” You thank her with a smile and head upstairs to your and Joel’s room. You enter the room and are surrounded by the scent of Joel. ‘He must’ve showered this morning.’ You think to yourself with a smile 

You take a slow inhale, breathing him in before grabbing your towel and a plastic bag. You step into the bathroom and start running the water, it's cold. You try not to get too angry at Ellie. She said she left some. You take a deep breath and try to think of some solutions as you undress.

You strip yourself of your shirt, dirty and smelly. You take off your horribly muddy pants and place them in the plastic bag as you keep wracking your brain for solutions. Unfortunately, you’re fried from the labors of the day and come up with nothing. Well, actually you came up with one idea that could technically work. 

You run your hands under the faucet hopefully, you feel barely any warmth and shut it off. 

You could ask one of your neighbors, see if they have any hot water, and ask if you can shower there but… the thought of doing that is completely mortifying. You’d rather just give up on your relaxing shower and reserve yourself to another cold shower. You’re sitting on the ground in your towel. Your knees pulled up to your chest, elbows resting on them and your face resting in your hands. You’re fighting back tears, considering them ridiculous. In the kind of world you live in… you’re crying about not being able to take a warm shower? Outrageous. 

Joel got in a few minutes ago and spoke with Ellie a bit. She informed him all about the “mood” you’re in. Ellie tells him all about the conversation that transpired before you “stomped off” to shower. Joel goes upstairs to check on you and finds a sight that breaks his heart. The love of his godforsaken life crumpled up on the bathroom floor. He stands there for a moment, composing himself before trying to comfort you. He watches you lift your head and frantically wipe your tears and mumbling some self-deprecating words to yourself. 

That’s when Joel decides to make himself known. “Hey now,” He walks into the bathroom, his arms uncrossing as he examines your face. He crouches down to sit with you, leaning back against the tub. Your eyes are red and wet when they meet his, they knock all the air from his lungs. “What’s all this about, baby? Hm? Why’re you sittin’ on the floor?”

You’re so embarrassed at the fact that Joel found you like this. He’s the last person who’d understand, the man has been through hell and back without shedding a tear. He’d think you’re a spoiled brat. 

You wipe your tears quickly as if Joel hasn’t been staring at your face this whole time. “Nothing! Nothing, Joel. I-I’m okay. It’s stupid, it’s so dumb.” Your mind is racing for an excuse. You know that he’s going to ask for a reason and you can’t tell him the real reason. Joel’s head tilts sympathetically at you, waiting for you to explain yourself. Instead of doing so, you stand up and place a fake smile on your face. “I’m really okay, Joel. I just need to shower.”

His face drops at your obvious lie. “You can talk to me…” He stands with a grunt that brings a small smile to your face. “You know that, right?” He’s looking into your eyes with such intensity, that it shakes you to your core. You can’t lie to him. You love this man.

“I had a bad day…” You avoid eye contact, knowing the pity in his eyes would just bring tears to yours. “It was so hot today and I had to work the field even though it rained just a few days ago! I fell, got all muddy, and hurt my ankle. I had to finish the whole day in my dirty, muddy clothes all day and all I wanted was a warm shower but Ellie basically used up all the hot water. A-and this isn't me blaming her for anything, of course not but I just-… all I wanted was a hot shower."

Your voice trembles and breaks more toward the end of your sentence as tears begin to well in your eyes. You close your eyes and shake your head at your ridiculousness. Joel’s silence only confirming your thoughts. “What do ‘ya mean “basically”, honey?” You look up at him confused. Was that all he heard? 

“Uh… It’s a l- little warm but it’d be a really short shower. You can take it if you want, I’ll just shower after.” You’re holding your towel up with one hand and the other is rubbing across your face, your eyes closed trying to soothe yourself to deal with the amount of stress you’ve had today. You only stop and open your eyes because you hear the water start to run. Your eyes open to Joel kicking off his boots, his hands already unbuttoning his shirt. “Okay, I’ll wait in the room just tell me when you’re done.”

You feel a tingling behind your nose and try to hold back your tears as you watch him get ready for his shower. You didn’t want him to smother you or anything but you expected him to care a little more than he did. You turn and begin to walk towards the door, sniffling along the way, trying to leave the bathroom before breaking down. “What’re you talkin’ about? Come back here.”

You turn around confused and blurry, tears clouding your vision despite your desperate wish for them not to. “What?” The question comes out more whimpery and pathetic than you wanted. Your throat is closing up and you’re too emotional to keep your voice steady. Joel’s head whips up to look at you and his features immidiately turn soft, pitying, causing a sob to escape you. 

“Oh, baby.” He stops taking his shirt off, walking over to you with it open, along with his arms. You bury yourself in his chest and try to hold back your tears. His arm wraps around your shoulders and the other presses your head to his chest, almost cradling you. It's not even about the shower anymore. It’s about how Joel reacts to you, how it’s always exactly what you need. “My poor thing. You had such a hard day huh?” You nod into his chest, knowing he’ll feel it. 

“I have an idea that I hope will cheer you up.” He says optimistically before kissing your forehead and pulling away. He walks over to the tub and feels the running water with a surprised scoff. He turns back to you, finishes pulling his shirt off, and starts on his pants. “I think we could take a bath.” He lifts his eyebrows questioningly at you but the smirk on his lips tells you that he knows you love the idea.

“I wanna scrub you.” The thought shoots out of your mouth before you can even process it. His hands are frozen on his zipper as he stares at you. You look back down at your towel and giggle nervously. “I get it if you don’t want to. That was weird…” He finishes undressing, his attention elsewhere instead of answering your question. He pulls his towel off the rack and wraps it around his waist before going over to you. He places a warm kiss on your lips before smiling at you. 

“Yeah, that could work. If you can handle my weight on you.” He ends off with a chuckle before walking back over to the tub and turning the water off. You follow him over and smile when he looks back up at you. “Ready to get in, sweetheart?” You smile and nod at him eagerly, dropping your towel and walking around him. You watch his eyes dart to look at your body the moment you drop the towel, watching you the whole time you walk around him. You can feel his eyes on your body as you get in the tub and even on you when he’s getting in the tub. His eyes only rip from yours when he's fully seated, facing the opposite direction. 

He’s stiff in front of you, his back incredibly straight, his arms around his legs that are pulled to his chest. You giggle quietly at him before leaning forward and wrapping your arms around his upper back, your hands resting on his pecs as you pull him back to you. “Woah! Okay, careful.” Joel jerks around when you start pulling him, causing you to burst out in laughter while lying back against the tub. Joel’s cheeks hurt at the smile across his face from hearing your laughter, “Thought I was topplin’ over.” He laughs with you as he relaxes into your body. Your smile is permanent on your face as you make yourself comfortable and sigh at the weight of Joel’s body on you. 

“I love you, Joel.” You whisper to him with your eyes closed. Your head resting back on the edge of the tub. You don't see his hand come up and reach behind his head for you but you can feel when he strokes your hair, then your face. “I love you more, baby.”

You both spend a little time talking before you start scrubbing. You wash Joel down first, insisting on it. He let you, only after making you agree to let him scrub you. He’s still leaning back on you, he’s scooted down a bit so you can start with his hair. You’d given him some elaborate reason as to why you’re supposed to start with your hair but the truth is that you wanted to get your hands in his brown locs. 

You wet his hair gently and lather your hands in conditioner. Joel groans quietly when he sees you grab the conditioner first. “S’not how you do it.” He mutters quietly. You smile at his sleepy voice and laugh at his comment. “That’s how I do it and you love it.”  He grunts out in response and crosses his arms to get comfortable. You use the conditioner to pull his hair back from his forehead, starting your little scalp massage. 

Joel’s whole body is set on fire the moment your fingers touch his scalp. It actually started when you dropped your towel, the heat getting worse at the sight of your naked body. It turned into raging arousal after your fingers touched his scalp. He had to actively purse his lips together to stop himself from groaning out when he felt it. His eyes are squeezed shut, trying to focus on not making any noise. He can feel himself getting hard under the water. You’re starting to scratch lightly at his head and his eyes are rolling back. His lips are spread and letting out silent huffs of breath as you scratch his scalp. He whimpers almost silently when his tip pops out above the water. You start massaging into his scalp more deliberately, so perfectly that he thinks you can feel what he feels. 

He pushes his head back into your hand desperately, without thinking and you freeze. It stops his breath, he’s holding back whines, the urge to grind his hips up into the air, as he waits for you to touch him again. You reach down to the bath water and pour it from your hands over his head, carding your fingers through his hair. He can feel your nails ever so slightly scraping his scalp and it has his hands gripping into his arms where they’re crossed over his chest. He keeps it all in as you do this again and again. His eyes roll back into his head and his hips are subtly twitching under the bath. The water is just barely providing any stimulation but he still prefers it to nothing. 

There's a knot in one of the strands. Your fingers get caught and you accidentally tug at his hair, pulling his head in a way that has him moaning out your name. His eyes roll back and his head presses back into you, curing his head up so he can see you. You notice how dilated his eyes are, how desperate and wrecked he looks.  “T-That feels good, sweetheart.”

You chuckle at him, “I know it does, baby.” He whimpers at your response and his hips grind into the air. He tilts his head back down, eyes closing tight as he tries to calm himself. You run your hands through his wet hair, massaging in the shampoo you’ve added. You can see his red tip poking out above the water, there’s a bead of precum gathering at the tip. His hips are slowly thrusting up, freezing in the air and shuddering as the pearl overflows and runs down the length of his cock. 

“Please- oh baby. You gotta-” You cut him off by tugging softly at the roots of his hair, watching his face go slack as a ragged moan pushes out of him. “C’mon, you gotta touch me, do somethin’, baby. I’ll- fuck- I’ll take anythin’- please.”

Honestly, you started pulsing for Joel when you saw the way he looked at your body after taking off your towel. You’ve been leaking since your hands went in his hair. You noticed his reaction immediately, of course. You’re constantly watching him, just examining his face and its movements. You saw his breathing quicken and shudder when you started washing his hair. You kept a close eye on his stomach, the plush softness tightening and releasing in time with your movements in his hair. 

Your lip is burning from where your teeth have been digging into it. You pour water over his hair and continue running your fingers through his hair. You smile excitedly at the top of his head, watching his eyebrows draw up and in, twitching and jumping with his mouth. His mouth. It's opened in a silent moan, his lips are wet, pink and the bottom is a little swollen from how much he’s been biting at it. 

Joel is whining and writhing in the tub as you absently scratch at his scalp. Your silence is turning him on in an insane way. The suspense in waiting for your response just builds inside him alongside his arousal. “Baby?”

His voice breaks your trance, it’s a bit more whiny than usual, you can tell he trying to regain control but he’s too worked up. “Can you- Can we please do something?”

“Yes. Yeah, honey. Can you turn around?” You ask him sweetly and he’s groaning at the tone. You giggle silently at the power you currently hold over him. You watch him sit up in the tub and flip over, you feel all your power drain from you. His hair has flopped over his forehead, it’s dripping down his face and into the tub as he slides his body up over yours. The muscles in his arms tense and ripple as he moves closer to you. He’s hovering over you, his arms against the slope of porcelain you’re leaning back against. His head tilts as he inspects your face. His eyes are dark and desperate as he leans down to press a kiss against your lips. 

Your hands come up to cup his face and pull him in. He groans and bites into your lip softly, his tongue pushing into your mouth and tasting you. You whine against his lips when you feel his soft, wet tongue press into your mouth and against your own. Your legs come up around his waist and pull him in, earning a groan when his cock slides up against your mound, gliding along your clit. “Shit, love. I’m gonna put it in, okay?”

You’re nodding at him but he isn't even looking at you anymore, his gaze already shifted to where he was guiding himself inside you. He watches your face as he pushes his tip inside, he analyzes the way your breathing picks up, and your eyelids start to flutter as moans and whimpers slip out. He bites his lip to hold in his groans as he plunges the rest of his cock inside you. He relishes the way your nails shove into his hips, marking his skin for later. He brings his hand up behind your back and hooks itself behind your shoulder, pushing you down against his cock. You watch his eyes roll back as he presses against your cervix, your walls clenching around him. 

“Joel- holy shit, please. I need you to fuck me, baby.” He grunts animalistically and starts pounding into you. You moan out at the feel of his cock sliding against your walls, stretching you open. The water in the tub sloshes around and a bit spills out from the force of his thrusts. He groans, straightens his spine, and thrusts into you quickly. You admire him as he looks down on you from his heightened position. He looks like a god like this. His stomach tensed as he thrusts into you frantically, his wet, dripping, hair slightly covering his eyes as they laser into you. You finish trailing your eyes up his body to meet his eyes and his gaze pulls a moan from you. 

He’s staring into your eyes with such passion, ferocity, and arousal that your eyes roll back immediately. Your head gets thrown back a little painfully as you try and grind your hips against Joel, you listen to his moans devolve into whines as you do. Your hips move up and against him in a figure-eight motion. He groans and curves back down to you, his hand comes from your hips to rest gently against your neck, he presses down, pushing you against the tub, and continues to thrust into you. He’s moaning out with each thrust, his grip on your neck and hip tightening the closer he gets to cumming. 

You moan into his ear, your hands shooting up to bury themselves in his hair as he rams into you. He’s been silent ever since he entered you, groaning and grunting into your skin instead. His hand slides up your neck to grip your jaw, he pulls his head from your neck and shoves his lips against yours. The kiss is bruising, almost painful as he pants and moans into your mouth, and his hand moves from your hip to your clit.

Your hands tug at his strands as he starts to play with your clit. You suddenly become aware of everything you’re feeling. The way the veins of his cock feel as it slides against your sensitive walls. The way his breath feels as he moans out against your face. The way the hand on your neck is starting to shake. The orgasm that’s overflowing and snapping inside your stomach, tensing your whole body as you moan and shake for Joel.

“Yeah? Fu-uck keep cummin’ for me, sweetheart. Oh shit- I’m right behind you darlin’.” He sounds wrecked as his cock throbs inside you, getting milked from your orgasm. His hips stutter as your walls pulse around him, coaxing his orgasm out. He whines out your name and pushes his head back into your unmoving hands as he feels his balls tense, his thighs begin to shake and he loses control of his noises. “Holy fuckin’ shit, baby. Oh, love- shi-it. Makin’ me feel so good, princess…such a good girl.” His hips completely lose their rhythm, his eyes are squeezed shut as he tries not to cum yet. “Best girl I know, angel.” 

You’re grinning madly as you listen to his orgasm build, so unhinged as he rambles out praises and love names to you. It’s one of the many things he does without realizing, that you absolutely love him for. He presses his soft lips against yours again, whining desperately as he does. You place one hand on his cheek while the other stays tangled in his hair and you pull his head back to look into his eyes. He holds your eye contact as he grinds his hips into you. You look into his hooded, dilated eyes and stare back at you desperately. “You gonna cum for me, handsome?” You say with a breathless moan as his cock starts to overstimulate you. 

You watch his jaw go slack as his eyes roll into his head, a ragged moan ripping out of his chest and your hand quickly comes to cover it. “S-stay quiet, sweetheart.” You rest your forehead against his and moan out against your hand. “Just fill me up.”

His whole body freezes and shakes as his cock throbs aggressively in you before releasing his load. It floods within you, you can feel the way his ropes of cum shoot up and against you. Your mouth is open wide in a silent moan as you watch him cum, his face mirroring your expression from behind your hand. His eyes are on you, surprised and vulnerable as he bucks into you.

You can feel him mouthing something against your hand silently. You slowly remove your hand and he instantly kisses you. His lips are trembling as they press against yours. He pulls away and mutters, “I love you.” against your lips over and over again.

His orgasm tapers off and his hips slowly stop thrusting into yours, they still twitch every now and then but his body is mostly limp against yours. His head is in your chest as you both catch your breath, your hand stroking over his hair lovingly as he comes down. His breathing slows against you and kiss the top of his head gently. He groans and begins to sit back on his heels. “Let’s get outta this water, hm?” You smile deliriously at him and let him help you out of the tub. He wraps you in your towel before wrapping himself and draining the tub.

You both make your way back to your room and start changing. Joel puts on his boxers and a wife beater while you just throw on one of his old shirts. You both get into bed and wrap yourselves in the others arms. Joel chuckles when your body presses against him. “Nothin’ under?” His voice is gruff and slurred with sleep but you can hear the smirk. 

You smack his chest gently before snuggling your face into him, “Keep it in your pants, stud.” His belly shakes in laughter at that as you smile against his chest happily. You relax into his warmth, falling asleep when you hear a faint, “G’night, sweetheart.” 

You respond with a soft, “Goodnight, Joel.” and fall into the most peaceful sleep anyone could ask for.

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

[luvrxbunny]

honey

Pairing: Post-outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You almost die, it makes Joel crave you. (It has nothing to do with honey he just calls you that a lot)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, near-death, piv, unprotected sex, hair pulling, riding(idk if thats a warning?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.6k

A/N: This is much longer than intended and im not even sure its good. My apologies 

You and Joel are making your way back to Tommy’s community after scoping out some places for expansion. The town was getting a bit crowded and people were wondering about housing. You and Joel offered to scout some places because you guys knew the area better than most. It also wouldn’t hurt to have a little getaway with him. You love Ellie but you and Joel can’t be as affectionate as you wish because you’re both scared about how she’ll react to the relationship that’s been underway for about a year now. Relationships move much faster in this world, Joel had quickly and easily become everything to you and you to him as well, taking up the space left in his heart, making him full. 

The trip there was about as easy as you guys had expected, not coming across any infected, and no people, peaceful. 

The way back, however, was a little bit of an issue. You both had planned to be there and back by the end of the day. After looking through all the properties the sun had started its descent, which went against your plans to make it back in one day. You both agreed that it would be better to sleep than continue to walk around tired and in darkness. Luckily you guys are both smart enough to overpack for the trip so after picking a spot to set up camp you both tried to get some sleep, and Joel was successful. 

You toss and turn for hours, the ground is too hard to get comfortable, it’s so cold and the lamp you guys have won’t stop buzzing. All you can focus on is the sounds of the forest, the critters, the creepies, and the crawlies. You feel like you could suffocate in this tent. When you finally start to get comfortable enough to feel your heart rate slow, Joel groans himself awake. 

“Up already darlin’?” He asks with a rough voice that you at whine dramatically. “I didn’t fucking sleep.” He gasps at your profanity before chuckling. “Okay, honey. No need to get explicit. I’ll clean up camp while you sleep some more how ‘bout that?”.

Love blooms in your chest at his immediate help. You grumble a gentle “I love you” before falling into the darkness of sleep.

Joel chuckles softly and kisses you on the head gently before sliding out of your grip and out of the outrageously small tent. He breathes in the forest air, slightly damp from the morning dew. He admires the way the light casts through the trees beautifully, before getting to work. He cleans up everything non-essential while he cooks the eggs you guys brought and the only slice of ham. After packing up all the cooking utensils he looked around for more things to do. He packed up your water, even your bag before he woke you up. 

“Honey?” He speaks so softly that you almost don’t even hear him. He’s gently stroking your arm, trying not to startle you. He watches a soft smile grace your lips when he calls your name. 

You let out a high and raspy “Joel” before scrunching your face up and whining. “No, ‘m still tired”. You try to pull the blankets back up to your shoulders but Joel gently pulls them back down. 

“No honey, we have to get up now” He smiles adoringly at your frustrated whine “I made you eggs and ham” He whispers optimistically. 

Your eyes pry open. 

“There she is,” he says proudly. He pulls you up into a sitting position, hugging you softly for a few moments before rubbing your back and pulling away. “C’mon, let's get out.” 

After you both get out of the tent, Joel watches you shimmy your way over to your plate of food. He watches you inhale the steam and smile. You look around a bit and Joel grabs silverware for you. “Thanks but, where’s your food?” 

His chest warms at your care, your concern. “I’m sorry darlin’. I was hungry”

Truthfully, all he had was an egg, using the other two and the slice of ham for your breakfast. You needed the protein more than he did. You gasp at him “Can’t believe you! Shame on you Joel” He watches you fondly as you mutter out another little “Shame”, and dig in. Joel waits by your side for approval, feeling satisfied when you groan out and nod your head at him.

He takes down the tent and sits by your packs, waiting for you to finish eating. He goes to grab water only to find his canteen empty, you guys know the area, Joel knows where the river is. 

“Hey honey, you eat up, I’m gonna go an’ get some water from the stream” You nod at him a bit dismissively, as all your attention is focused on trying to cut your ham in half with a plastic fork. He nods toward you before grabbing the canteens, and his gun, then he sets off. 

He gets to the river quicker than expected and excitement shoots through him briefly at the thought of getting back to you sooner than expected. He shakes his head at the feeling as he opens up the first canteen. Twenty-two years ago he boarded up all emotion that could get him hurt. Then Joel met you and you tore them apart, releasing all the most dangerous ones, hope and excitement… 

love. 

He worries about you all the time, that’s evident in the way he lets you sleep in, and relax back at camp while his old knees cramp to bend down to the water. He chuckles at himself, the sacrifices he makes for the people he loves. He’s not worried about you currently, he’s thinking about what you look like, all bundled in your sleeping bag, nibbling your breakfast with sleepy eyes. 

He’s smiling, as he moves around in the stream, trying to find a nice cold spot of water to fill your canteen with. He knows how much you appreciate it, he wants to see that smile of excitement when you realize it's cold. He finally finds a freezing spot and happily fills up your canteen. 

He forgets that he positioned himself with purpose before. He forgets to do the same after re-arranging himself. 

His lousy ear is now towards you. 

He doesn’t hear the rustling. 

He hears your scream. 

It rips through him like a serrated blade, stabbing and tearing his skin. He’s running. He doesn’t know when he started but the forest blurs around him as he races in what he has to assume is your direction. He’s never run this fast.

He’s never heard you scream like that. 

His mind is racing at what he’s expecting to see; your crumpled body covered in blood, a disgusting infected looming over you. He thinks about how to kill it, he lives out a lifetime of possibilities before he arrives at camp.

He sees you frantically pushing an infected off of you. He raises his gun at it in a split second aiming to shoot, kill… to protect.

“JOEL” His gaze snaps to yours with the way you say his name. His gun was still pointed at the infected. His eyes analyze your figure, assessing your injuries, looking for a specific one. 

“Joel i-it’s already dead, I killed it” 

He notices your hands. They’re covered in blood and his heart all but stops. He falters, dropping his gun to hang off of him.

“Joel I’m okay” You speak cautiously, knowing how this must’ve rattled him. You’re in shock, still staring at the infected body on the ground, not even noticing the realization he’s come to.  

Joel watches your bloodied hands, shaking his head. His mind is racing, blaming himself. 

He shouldn’t have left you. You didn’t even ask for water and now you were going to pay the price of his selfishness. If only he had been faster, he could've gotten to you sooner. If only he had all of his hearing, he could've heard it coming. He could've protected you if only he had been smarter, younger. His self-hatred rages in his head. 

He grabs your wrists, and only then do you realize that you’re bleeding. You immediately know why.

“Joel, no,” You say firmly. “Joel, look at me. I’m fine” You try to assure him but his gaze refuses to leave your hand, focused on where your blood is pooling and spilling over. 

“Joel! Hey, you got water right?” He doesn't respond. You reach to grab his canteen but he refuses to let go of your hands. Your eyes are back on him. He’s lost in thought, his eyes are inspecting every inch of your hand. As if he’d somehow understand what happened if he looked hard enough. 

“I am so… sorry” The way he says it breaks you. His voice is weak yet it still breaks. It’s soft and breathless like all the air has been punched out of him. It’s sullen, distraught, and hollow. 

You rip your hands out of his and he’s left staring at the empty ground. You open the canteen and drench your offending hand in more water than necessary before shoving it in his face, tears welling in your eyes at the pain you caused him. You place the container on a stump before turning back to him.

“Joel, I’m okay.” You say it with as much assurance as possible. You want him to know you mean it, you’re not just comforting him but he refuses to look up. His mind is running wild again. He hears you call his name the second time, the emotion in your voice is painful. He looks up to see your clean hand. He grabs it quicker than you can process. He’s inspecting harder than he was before, refusing to believe his luck. 

You’re fine. It’s just a cut.

“I couldn’t cut the ham so I used my hunting knife… stupid I know. I just- I got scared when I heard the infected. I flinched.” Joel hasn’t looked up from your hand this whole time. You’re embarrassed that such a small mistake caused so much commotion, all the useless stress you caused Joel. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, not wanting to see how he is looking at you. Would he be upset? Angry? Annoyed? You go through all the possibilities while staring at your dirty laces.

You feel water hit your hand. You look up at Joel to see his eyes crushed painfully shut, tears falling from them despite it. You think, if your blood wasn't still rushing in your ears you’d both be able to hear your heart shatter.

Joel has never cried in front of you, not in the two years you’ve known him and not even when you guys became intimate. He didn’t cry when he told you about Sarah, he got close once he started to tell you about what transpired the day after but that was mainly because you were “silently” sobbing into his pillow the whole time.

One blink and you’re on him. You crush him as hard as you can in your arms as he tries to hold back his tears. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into him as tightly as he can. You feel his stomach tense against you as he holds in his sobs. That’s what breaks you, tears blur your vision and you sob into his neck, apologizing over and over. His head comes up to stroke your hair as he shakes his head. “You did nothin’, honey. You’re okay, that's all that matters”

“I- I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I made you worry and I-” Joel pulls your face from his shoulders and presses his hands on both sides of your head firmly to calm you down. The silence making it easier for you to process your thoughts. 

Through Joel’s thick hands, you can hear his muffled voice talking, “Honey, calm down. I’m fine. You’re fine. You have nothin’ to worry about, ‘n neither do I. Everythin’ is okay.” 

You focus on his deep voice that you can feel in your bones, his rough, firm hands putting the perfect amount of pressure on your head to keep your feelings and thoughts together. 

You feel your breathing slow as you look into the brown depths of his eyes, studying the different hues in the sunlight. You notice how pretty they are even with tears still sitting on his ducts, waiting to fall. His adorable nose is all red and ruddy. You place your hands on his forearms and pull him in. Your lips press against his and you can taste the salt of his tears, it makes more run down your face. You pull away from Joel and his thumb immediately strokes over your lips. A shuddering breath leaves him as he pulls you in for another bone-shattering hug. 

You hear him take a deep breath before he whispers against your ear, “Thought I lost you darlin’. Don't know what I would’ve done. I can’t go on baby, can’t li-” You rip his head out from where it was pressed against your neck and look into his eyes fiercely. 

“Do not say that Joel,” He goes to try and bury himself again but you push him up again. “I’m so serious right now. You cannot let anything take you off this planet, especially when there is a little girl who still needs you.” You feel like he has dug a knife into your chest at the thought of him… doing that. 

“I know, honey. I do but… jus’ feel like nothing would be the same. I’d never be good again. You make life so… I dunno, I-” Joel searches and racks his brain for a way to express himself. He never was good at this. He never knew how to verbalize his feelings, and you know, you understand. 

You pull him in for another kiss before looking him in the eyes. “I know, life would be so dull if you ever left me,” You tell him sincerely, understanding how he feels, his brows furrow before he starts nodding at you while pulling you in for another kiss. You pull away to hug him again but he quickly grunts out “No” and pushes his lips against yours again. 

He just needs comfort and you’re leaking. Pervert.

He kisses you with everything he has, gripping your shoulders tightly against him. He pulls away confused, “I-”. You pant at him as he shakes his head and kisses you in again. A moan slips from him when he pulls away again, putting distance between the two of you this time. 

He’s tense, staring at the ground. You watch him closely, trying to figure out what he’s thinking. Then you see it, pressing up in his jeans, straining the fabric against his thigh. 

He’s so fucking hard.

You almost laugh out in shock. Unable to believe that Joel is feeling the same way you are. He’s perfect for you. You feel your underwear dampen uncomfortably as you shift your weight. You watch his jaw clench and almost whine out. 

“We should start headin’ back.” Joel growls out. 

He won’t look at you, he’s ashamed at how badly he wants you. He can’t help it, the adrenaline coursing through him, the thought of losing you has him craving you now. He cannot let you know how he’s feeling, you’d never understand, think that there’s something wrong with him. He can’t look at you, see that shocked, vulnerable look on your face.

You’ve been watching him, your eyes raking up and down his body. You watch his eyebrows twitch, and his eyelids flutter. You watch his muscles tense and his cock twitch within his pants. 

“Joel”. His eyes snap to yours, dark and passionate. He watches you intently, waiting for you to say something. He knows that tone, the way you said his name; he recognizes it. He’s doubtful, however, there’s no way you’re feeling how he is, it’s simply impossible. He tries to even out his breathing while acting calm and normal. Until you gently tuck your bottom lip under your teeth.

You watch recognition flash in his eyes as he slowly inhales before meeting your eyes. You have a mean smirk on your face, amused at his desperation. He huffs out a laugh at your expression, “C’mon, honey. Don’t make beg for it.” You laugh at him and close the distance. “I wanted you to ask but-” You cut yourself off by pushing your lips against his. 

You slide your hand down from behind his head and down his chest, taking your time feeling his body. His stomach tenses against your hand with a grunt when you get there, gripping his sides softly before unbuttoning his pants and pushing your hand inside. 

You hear him groan painfully when you stroke the outline of his cock in his briefs. “Baby- honey, I- fuck”. His head drops against yours, his hands on your hips. 

You can feel him panting against your forehead, with soft grunts flowing out of his lips as stroke his cock through his briefs. Then you slide your hand into his underwear. “Oh fuck, no honey- shit.” He moans into the kiss on your forehead before pulling your hand out of his pants and kissing your lips gently. He separates from you and takes a deep breath before moving his canteen off the stump and sitting down.

Joel unbuttons his pants and pulls his cock out, the tip leaving a spot on his shirt where it slaps against him. He gasps softly when he starts stroking himself, looking dead at you. You’re captivated by the sight. The way his chest heaves and his face scrunches, “Come ride me, honey.”

You remove your pants as fast as possible before standing over his lap. You place one hand on his shoulder and pull your panties to the side beginning to lower yourself onto his leaking cock slowly, taking your time, but he can’t wait. Joel pulls you in, hugging your belly to his face and he yanks you down, shoving himself deep inside you. You guys moan out in unison and Joel buries his face in your chest while thrusting up into you, his hands gripping your hips violently. His hips are meeting yours faster than you expected, causing loud moans to tumble from your lips. You can feel him smirking against your boobs, his lips pressing on them lightly. Your hands come up to his hair and pull it roughly prompting a moan to rip out of his throat as he looks up at you. 

His eyes are hazy and clouded with lust, “Again, honey, please that felt so good.” His eyes are rolling up into his head and his hips are pressing up into yours. You keep your hands gripped in his gray and brown locks, watching his face contort in pleasure. Joel moves his hands from your hips, coming around so his thumb can press against your clit, the rough texture of his thumb creating perfect friction when you grind your hips against his. “Sweetheart, I gotta feel it”

You moan at his words, falling over him and burying his face in your chest and he begins to rub your clit. You continue moaning, sounds of his name slipping out every now and then, he groans into your chest hotly. You can feel his warm breath spreading as he moans for you. “I need- fuck me- to feel you cum on me, honey.” He feels your wetness dripping down his cock, sliding over his balls and he punches his tip into your cervix. 

“Fuck J- Joel, ow that- shit.”  Your voice devolves into a whine as he keeps pounding into you. He presses against you again and again, abusing that spot deep inside you. He’s grunting out praises as you moan, limp in his lap. “Can’t believe how wet this pussy is, honey,” He moans out when his hips stutter against you. “Can’t believe I almost-” 

You crush your lips to his before he can finish, turning his words into moans that release into your mouth. You grind your hips quicker, his thumb moving faster over your most sensitive spot. Your body tenses against him and your pussy sucks him in. “I love you Joel I-” a moan rips from your lips for a moment before Joel is covering your mouth and cumming. 

He presses his huge hand against your mouth, his thumb gently stroking over your chin as his eyes slam shut. He grunts out softly, his body convulsing, folding against yours. You’re in another plane, you hear him moaning your name distantly but all you can focus on is the pleasure exploding between your legs, on the hip where his hand pushes you down on him, even against your lips where his fingers reside. 

A sharp exhale leaves your mouth as your body basically collapses on him. He chuckles breathily against your ear before kissing your cheek gently. He pushes your hair out of your face and kisses your nose sweetly before moving to your lips. You pull away from his lips and smile at the light blush across his features. He looks at you with a soft grin while he catches his breath, his cock softening within you. You clench on him with a gasp when you feel his cum start to slide out of you. Joel laughs and kisses you on the forehead before pulling you off him and placing you on the stump where he had just gotten up from. 

He pulls on his pants while watching you stare up at him dreamily, worrying your lip between your teeth. He brings your pants over and puts them on for you, doing the same with your shoes and your pack. He knows you could’ve done it yourself but he loves that you indulge him and you love when he dotes on you. 

You guys stand and he kisses you softly, full of love and adoration. “Let’s head on home hon’.”

You smile up at him before taking his hand and following him, wherever he may go.

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!

A/N: This one switches perspective quite a bit! I'd really like to know if it's okay? Not confusing or anything?

[luvrxbunny]

luvrxbunny's (old)

✩⋆｡˚ੈ♡ 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ♡ ⋆｡˚ੈ✩

hi!! welcome to my masterlist!! it took me soo long to figure out how to make this. i write for every character here and on my kinktober list so you can check those out!

i will write for characters i don’t know if i like the prompt enough but i cannot promise it’ll be accurate to how they truly are.

{i post every Sunday and unless it's a requested story, those come out on Thursday}

i currently only have smut so

KINKTOBER 2023

✧* ﾟ✧ 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔 ✧･ﾟ*✧

•.¸,✵°✵.｡.✰ 𝕛𝕠𝕖𝕝 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣 ✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.•

look at me - 2.1k [The way you look at Joel proves to be an issue for him.] honey - 3.6k [You almost die, it makes Joel crave you.] saving it for you - 4.4k [Joel goes away for 3 weeks. He’s saved himself for you.] buzz - 3.5k [You get high with Joel and some things are discussed.] my love - 3.4k [Joel tells you that he loves you for the first time.] bath time - 4.2k [Ellie steals all the hot water. Joel has a solution.]

.¸,✵°✵.｡.✰ 𝕖𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕞𝕦𝕟𝕤𝕠𝕟 ✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.

his favorite taste - 3.7k [Eddie tastes you for the first time.] silver - 3.5k [Eddie has you sit in during a meeting and hijinks ensue.] loveseat - 4.5k [It’s Halloween! You go as a vampire and Eddie loves your fangs.]

.¸,✵°✵.｡.✰ 𝕞𝕚𝕘𝕦𝕖𝕝 𝕠'𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒 ✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.

fangs - 1.9k [You see Miguel's fangs for the first time.]

.¸,✵°✵.｡.✰ 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕠𝕦𝕤 ✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.

econ - 4.3k [You find out that Ethan has a little crush on you.]

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[luvrxbunny]

loveseat

Pairing: Vampire!Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: It’s Halloween! You go as a vampire and Eddie loves your fangs. 

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, blood, blood consumption, vampires, biting, non-consensual voyeurism (?) (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 4.5k

A/N: Reader’s shorts aren’t timeline-appropriate but idc. also I’ve never seen Ferris Bueller idk if there actually is any suspense . this might just be an nonsensical ramble

This year for Halloween Steve threw a party, you all almost died and were now focused on living life to the fullest as long as you could. Which means indulging in simple pleasures like house parties. You had to convince Eddie to come, he didn’t feel like celebrating. It’s been less than a year and he was back sure, but he didn’t survive. He’s a little different now, he needs different things but he’s still Eddie. You tell him all this and more to explain why he should come. You manage to coax him to the party and he ends up having a blast. You both dressed up, Eddie is a wizard and you decided to be a vampire. You think it’s hilarious but Eddie is still on the fence. He’s a little insecure about it, the fact that he’s different. You’re trying to show and convince him that it’s really not a big deal. 

This party had gotten a little out of hand, some random people trickling in, not even knowing who the host was, only seeking alcohol and a good time but it still resulted in a fun night for everyone. You never have very much fun at parties, you’re a little too anti-social to enjoy being packed in a room with sweaty strangers. You always go to Steve’s parties though, to support him but also because the little after-party you all have is your favorite part of the night. 

You guys are in Steve’s basement watching Ferris Bueller and passing around two of Eddie’s joints. The boys are sitting on the two loveseats on either end of the main couch, Nancy in her cat costume is on Steve’s end, you’re on Eddie's end and Robin in her dog costume is in the middle. None of you are paying attention to the movie, you’ve all seen it before. 

There’s a natural split that happens as the night moves on. Robin, Steve, and Nancy are having one conversation, rotating one of Eddie’s joints among the three of them. You have the other, you're lying down with your head tilted back over the armrest, talking to Eddie. He’s leaning over you and smiling as you speak, his hair creating a curtain over you, tickling your neck. He’s talking and joking with you as you blow smoke into his face. He looks up to see if anyone notices your giggle, higher than usual, making his heart speed up but he’s met with Robin’s back, forcing a scoff from his lips. You look up and see what he’s staring at, you giggle and shake your head at him. “They really just took the joint, huh?”

His eyes widen with his smile as he laughs out, “They really did!” You’re both laughing as Eddie leans down to kiss you but the angle is awkward and it has you laughing against his chin. “Just come over here, baby” He whispers against your lips softly before backing away to give you room. You look over at your friends and see them still engrossed in their own conversation, they definitely won’t mind if you move. You slowly stand and make your way to Eddie.

Eddie watches you walk over, you look incredible. His old Hellfire shirt falls over your thighs, covering the shorts you’re wearing, the way your fingers come around the joint, and your painted nails complimenting the white paper. He smiles at your pink socks as they pad across the carpet. He’s excessively aware of the way your body presses to him when you place yourself half in his lap. Your thighs rest on top of his but your butt is on the couch, you’re leaning into him resting your head on his shoulder, inhaling and sighing out. “You always smell so good, Eddie.” 

You pull your head out of his neck and snort at his outfit before taking a hit. He is grinning widely at you, his eyes wide in shock, “You did not just laugh at me.” This just makes you giggle more, slightly choking on the smoke. “I rolled for you! For free, baby!” You laugh at him and fall into his chest, feeling it inflate with his slow chuckles. “I can’t believe this.” He says with fake shock in his voice and on his face. 

You sit up and peck kisses all over his face, small laughs slipping through as you press your lips against him. “I pay you in kisses, Eddie! And my love.” You drape your arms over his shoulders and drop your body weight into him, being careful not to burn anything with your joint. He chuckles and wraps his arms around you, struggling with his cape a bit first. You feel his body slowly relax into yours, bringing a smile to your face. You kiss the side of his head quickly before reaching your other hand behind his neck, trying to get the joint to your lips. Eddie can feel your arm moving, almost placing him in a headlock, and starts wiggling his way out of your grip. He notices the joint and gasps dramatically, “You only love me for joints!” You burst into laughter again.

You and Eddie joke a bit more, eventually getting sucked back into the movie. Actually, Eddie isn’t interested in the film but you’re absolutely absorbed by it, as if it were the most riveting thing you’d ever seen. He knows it’s because you’re high but it humors him nonetheless. You’re jumping in time with the suspense and it has him holding back a giggle. You feel his chest bounce and look up at him. You realize that he’s laughing at you and readjust yourself, no longer resting on his chest, you sit up so your head is level with his. “You’re supposed to be watching the movie, Eddie.” You say his name with an accusatory tone that reminds him of grade school hall monitors. It makes his heart swell.

He swallows a laugh before answering you, “I am, baby!” You watch him turn his head and pretend to watch the movie, glancing over at you every once in a while to see if you were still looking, you always were. Until he stopped checking, you assumed he actually got interested in the movie. You try to go back to watching the movie but your mind keeps wandering back to Eddie, along with your eyes. You now understand the appeal of just watching your lover. 

You stare at Eddie as he watches the movie. Your eyes are wandering down his face now, watching the way his big brown eyes flit across the screen to take in the scene, the way his mouth mutters little thoughts without him even realizing. You take in his strong jawline and the plush of his lips, how pink they are, and his tongue as it licks over them. You watch his face split into a smile that has you grinning along, not even knowing what he’s smiling at. You watch his dimple make an appearance with his shiny white teeth… his teeth. You examine them for the entire duration of his smile, wondering about his fangs. You’ve only seen them once, on accident. 

A few days after the incident, Eddie had seemed… off. He’d been staying with you because you were too worried to let him go home on his own. The love of your life had almost died, you weren’t about to let him out of your sight anytime soon. He had gone to shower, he announced it with a quiet mumble and left. You let him, even though you had wished you could accompany him just to make sure he was safe. You tried to keep your paranoia at bay but after twenty minutes you decided to check on him. You paused the TV and his quiet whimpering groans immediately became audible to you. You felt as though you were having a heart attack as you rushed over to the bathroom. 

“Eddie?!” You can hear him groan at your voice and clear his throat before answering. “Baby, I’m fine. Go back to the couch.” 

In the bathroom, Eddie was getting upset with you. He had felt weird ever since he got back, not being able to eat, the sun hurt his eyes, and water had begun to have zero appeal to him. He was sitting on the couch with you when he felt a shooting pain in his mouth, sending him to the bathroom to check it out. His heart stopped when he saw the fangs, he tried pulling them out, pushing them back in but nothing was working. He tried sticking his nail underneath his gums, attempting to root the teeth out but nothing worked, he kept trying until his gums were bleeding, tears springing to his eyes. That’s when you started knocking. 

You ignore him and attempt to open the door to find it locked. This just scared you even more, Eddie never locks your doors. Images of him in the Upside Down flashed through your mind as you struggled with the door, tears welling in your eyes as you panicked. “Eddie, please open the door!” Your voice was watery and shaking as you yelled at him, your heart was racing, working up to a panic attack as you started banging on the door. “Please!”

You started screaming at him, tears streaming down your face as you choked on your sobs, unable to get the image of his pale, motionless, bloody body out of your mind. You were starting to get hysterical when he opened the door with his mouth in a tight scowl and anger flaring in his eyes, at you. It broke your heart. Your breathing stopped, frozen with the rest of your body as you waited for him to say something, his features softened as he took in your unsettled state. He whipped himself back around and mumbled to you, “Go back to the couch.” It broke you even more. You remember thinking that Eddie was “Flayed”, you never witnessed it but you’ve heard the kids and Steve talking about it and it was the only solution you had for his sudden behavior change.

You walked towards him slowly, wiping your tears and sniffing. You placed your hand on his shoulder and he had flinched, you ripped your hand away and started questioning him. You asked him what you did, what he was doing, how you could help but he gave no response. You just stood there dumbly behind him, in silence waiting for an answer to any of your questions. After what felt like months of silence you circled Eddie, moving to his other side so you could see his face, you wanted to know how he was feeling, how he was reacting to your questions. 

Instead, you were met with his tears, silently streaming down his face, his shoulders shaking as he tried to hold it all in. You questioned him on why he was crying, lightly placing a hand on his arm to see how he’d react and he flinches from you again before finally speaking. “Something is wrong… with me.” You’re watching Eddie as he speaks and you can see his fangs peaking out, your brows furrow in confusion before you can control your reaction. Eddie turns around again and continues talking. He explained how he didn’t feel ‘right’, he told you his symptoms, and theories and rambled on about how he thinks he should get himself tested, maybe get away for a bit to make sure he’s okay and safe. Leaving you behind in Hawkins.

You grabbed him and forced him to turn around, he was mid-sentence and you could see them. You deliberately left your hand on him, letting him know you weren’t scared as you stepped closer to examine them, he was frozen in fear. His mind was racing with how he thought you would react but you just kissed him. So softly, he didn’t reciprocate at first and you pulled back, and smiled at him with a shaking head before pulling him in again. He kissed you back so desperately that time, so grateful that you still loved him. You both figured out his new body together, you helped him be okay with feeding on people, you’ve gotten him to feed off you twice but you're trying to get him to feed on you regularly. He firmly denies and disagrees with the idea. 

Back in the present you’re still just staring at Eddie’s mouth thinking about how it would feel to have his fangs sink into your neck. Upon the thought, your eyes wander down to his neck. You watch it tense and un-tense with the suspense of the movie. You’re high and you’ve got biting on the brain. You also so happen to be wearing the perfect costume for it. You lean in slowly, your heart racing as if you were going to puncture his skin. You begin to dampen your panties as you open your mouth. You feel the pressure of his skin on the fangs and hear a small gasp from him before you bite down.

A moan rips out of his lips before he can stop it. The room goes silent at the sound and Eddie tries to play it off as a cough and pretends he can’t feel everyone staring at him. He continues to stare at the movie like nothing happened as you play his sound over and over in your head. 

Robin, Nancy, and Steve end up laughing it off and going back to their previous conversation. You watch Eddie closely, his eyes are still on the TV and a smirk is slowly growing on your lips. Once he’s sure they’ve moved on to a new topic he slowly turns his head to look at you. His jaw is clenched, his eyes are wild and his chest is heaving. You watch his adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows nervously before speaking. 

“Don’t do that.” His voice is stern, he sounds like he might actually mean it. You’d believe him if he wasn't already growing hard under your legs. He thinks you can’t feel it, him twitching and growing against you but you most definitely can. You giggle and bite your lip playfully before answering him.

“Why not?” His face twitches for a moment at your defiance, Eddie knew you had some fight in you, despite your sweet exterior. It’s one of the things he loves about you. He’s never had it directed at him though. He’s surprised, not really angry but very amused. You’re biting your lip again, with the fake teeth, the fangs, this time. It has him running hot, his breathing speeding up and shuddering as he tries to keep himself under control. You watch his jaw twitch and it has a smile spreading over your face again, his mouth mirroring the shape of yours. 

Eddie leans towards you and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in so he can push into your lips. You kiss him back eagerly as you reposition yourself, spreading your legs for him. Eddie can feel the change and groans against your lips in response. “They’re gonna notice us, baby.” 

He doesn’t mean it, there isn’t any real concern in his voice as he whispers in your ear. He kisses you one more time before moving to the corner of your mouth, down to your chin, and then over your neck. Your hands bury themselves in his hair, pulling him close and gripping it at the roots as you try and hold in your whimpers. “You’re right.” 

Your voice is high and desperate as you speak. You can feel a smirk spread against your skin at your voice but Eddie keeps kissing. You feel him shift his hips, pressing his hard cock perfectly to your clit. You have to bite down on your lip painfully, gripping into Eddie’s hair hard enough to feel the vibration of his groan against your neck before you pull him away. “Lemme get in your lap, honey.”

He looks like he wants to moan out at you but stops himself and sits back on the loveseat. He pulls his wizard cape from under him and lays it gently next to him before smiling back at you. It’s such an endearing scene to watch, you kiss him on his lips, lovingly, and gingerly before placing a smaller one on his nose and crawling onto his lap. You hear his sharp inhale when you fully seat yourself in his lap. Your eyelids flutter at the feel of his perfect cock against your aching pussy and you bury yourself in his neck. “I love you s’much, Eddie.”

He actually moans in your ear at that, grinding his hips up into you as hard as he can. One of his hands comes up from his hip to the back of your head so he can keep you in his neck as he throws his head back, still thrusting up into you. 

You take this as a cue to bite him again but you give him a little warning first. You slowly open your mouth, extra careful not to let any noises slip out as he keeps thrusting himself up to you. You scrape the fangs as gently as you can on the side of his neck. You can feel his hips stutter as his thighs tense when you start. His breathing gets a little louder too, faster with little moans slipping through. “Fuck- Baby..”

The way he says it sounds like a warning but once again his body is tattling on him. The way his breath hitches, his hips grind into you faster and his moans that start slipping out are obvious signs that he loves it. You lick over the stripe you’ve dragged down his neck before starting over at the top. You move a little to the side, heading for his adam’s apple, mesmerized by the way it bobs with his moans. You kiss and bite down his neck while you begin to fumble with the button of his pants. 

You can feel his stomach tensing against your knuckles as you open and unzip his pants. His hands come up to grip your arms, squeezing you hard enough to stop your movements and pulling your head out of his neck to look at him. His flushed red, his cheeks holding a little more pigment than the rest of his face. You kiss his cheeks gently.

“What is it, sweetheart?” You whisper to him before kissing his other cheek. His eyes are shut tight and his hands are bruising where they grasp you as he tries to catch his breath. He opens his eyes and you hold in a gasp, his eyes are red. They aren’t blood red but they’re not brown anymore. “Your eyes…”

He looks down and huts his eyes, a nervous smile on his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m-” He chuckles quietly when you place your hands on his jaw, pulling his head up towards you. “You’ve got me all worked up, baby.” It comes out as a whine as he feels your lips on his eyelids, kissing them. “I think they’ll go away in a second. Just- just give me a second.” He buries his head in your neck, mouthing at the skin softly. 

You don’t want to give him a second though, and you don’t want his eyes to go back to normal. You want to see how you make him lose control and to know that you’re the only person who can do it to him. You let Eddie find solace in your neck but continue to rub your hands over him. You run them up his back, up his neck, and behind his head. You bring your hands to his front, rubbing his sides along the way and then up his chest. You trail them down his stomach and shove one into his boxers, gripping his hard, leaking cock. He moans into the crook of your neck and his hips buck up, thrusting his dick further into your hand. 

His hands move from your arms to your back, they’re frantic, rubbing the expanse of it and pulling you closer to him. He’s moaning raggedly into your neck and your face is pressed into his, biting him softly in a million places as your hand glides up and down his wet cock. Eddie’s hands come up to your hair and pull you out of his neck, kissing you roughly, desperately. You’re licking into his mouth, tasting him when his fangs start to slide out. He starts to whine when he feels them break through his gums but you won’t let him pull away. You bite his lip with your fangs and keep your hands buried in his hair to keep him in place. 

He whines a little louder than is safe and you immediately separate and hide his face in your neck, looking over to the others to see if they noticed. You don’t stop moving but you can see Steve looking at the two of you while Robin and Nancy keep talking. You can see him analyzing the position you guys are in, trying to decide whether he deems it appropriate or not. You can see when he realizes that Eddie’s pants are undone, and heat begins to rise to his face. You watch his mouth part in awe when he sees your hand moving between your bodies. You watch his eyes trail up your arm, up your body before meeting yours. His face is beet red and you’re lightly smirking at him, bringing your other hand up to press one finger against your lips. 

It’s a risky move, your heart is pounding the whole time but Eddie doesn’t even notice. He’s still groaning into your neck and gently grinding his hips into your hand. You watch Steve’s eyelids flutter and his jaw clench before he nods his head shakily and returns to his conversation, his eyes flickering up to look at you and Eddie every once in a while. 

You focus your attention back on Eddie as his little groans turn into grunts a whines of frustration. He pulls his head out of your neck and looks at you with an intense, heated gaze that has your hips twitching in his lap. His eyes are still red and you can see his fangs peaking out of his lips. He leans and kisses you before speaking in a low, gruff voice. “I’m…” He takes a few shuddering deep breaths before continuing, “I’m hungry.” You can feel his dick twitch in your hand as precum spills over the tip, running down your hand. 

Your brain short circuits as you moan at his statement as he leans in for another kiss. You feel his tongue push into your mouth, licking all inside, tasting you as you touch him. He moans into the kiss before moving to your neck, sending a flare of arousal between your legs. Your hand subconsciously slows to a stop as you wait for him to feed off of you. You can feel him hesitating, he always does. You’re writhing in anticipation and arousal as he waits. You can feel his breath hitting your neck, you can hear him inhaling your scent. “Eddie just bite me.”

He dives in. He rips open your skin a little more roughly than he usually does. He is groaning into your wound as he drinks up all your blood. You can feel it running down your neck, spilling out of his mouth. His dick is twitching from where it rests in your hand, demanding your attention. He clamps down harder into your neck when you start jerking him off again, his hips twitching up into you while he moans. He pulls his fangs from your skin and starts licking the blood that dripped down your neck, flattening his tongue against your neck as he licks a stripe up your neck.

He brings his head up to look at you and he’s a mess. Behind his hooded eyes, his pupils are insanely dilated and his irises are still red. Strands of his hair are stuck in the blood that's smeared around his lips, his bangs pushed up and messy on his forehead from how he was trying to bury himself in your neck. He kisses you and you can feel your warm blood on your face, staining you. You can taste the copper in your mouth as you suck on his tongue, taking everything he’s giving you. 

His breathing speeds up as you lick around his mouth, drinking up the rest of your blood. His eyelids flutter as they roll back and close. His lips tremble before he bites into them, licking up some more of your blood in the process. “I- fuck me. I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum, baby. Shit.” 

His hands leave you and his hips thrust up into the air as he reaches his peak. He lifts you slightly off the couch in the motion due to his newfound strength. It’s the same reason he refuses to touch you while he cums, he loses control. 

You take a quick glance around the room, keeping in mind to keep your hand moving. You spot Steve, his chest heaving and eyes blown wide as he stares at Eddie. You turn your gaze back to Eddie and have to agree with his fascination because watching Eddie cum is the most beautiful thing ever. 

His head is thrown back exposing his neck and the streaks of your blood that have dried there. His adam's apple jumps in time with his silent moans and groans while his hips buck into your hand. His eyes are squeezed shut, eyebrows drawn in as his hands grip the couch. The sight has your hips twitching against his leg. 

Eddie’s moans slow to a stop and his hips stutter as they come down. His gasping for air and bringing his hands back to your hips, trying to pull you closer to him. You tuck him back into his pants and scoot up his lap. You kiss his cheek quickly before bringing you cum-covered hand up to his face. “Look at the mess you made, Eddie.”

His eyes are on you with a delirious look as they slowly fade back to brown. “So sorry, sweetness.” 

You hum at him in response before licking up your palm, you make sure to get between your fingers as you watch him. You see something flash in his eyes and he tries to press his hips into again but whimpers in sensitivity when he comes in contact with your pussy. 

“So tasty, Eds.” You giggle at him as he drops his head in your chest. He kisses you sternum, then your throat, then your lips. 

“Mm I think you taste better, sweetheart.” He says with a loving smile, his dimple making an appearance. You giggle and hug him tightly. 

“Maybe… You’re gonna have to give me another taste someday.” You wink at him as he blushes. 

His mind already racing with scenarios. 

Thank you so much for reading!! Please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all!