#lyraanswers

[starsaroundsaturn]

Does the universe have edges? Are they ever-expanding? Is this a metaphor? A theological or philosophical statement? A fact of physics?

a long time ago, there was a child who decided she would wander to the edge of the universe if that was required for her to find her way home. she climbed through the windows of the big old houses of the planets and asked the stars to carry her from galaxy to galaxy, and found, even after traveling so far, that she was still not at home. and she began to wonder if her home was beyond the stars or the universe, and if the universe did indeed have edges. she sat beside the pool of infinity and asked the water questions no physicist or theologian has answered, but they all have asked. and she found that the questions and the mysteries were closer to the answer she had been looking for all along than any answer she had ever known. she swam in the sky, and they say she is still looking for the edges of the universe, not because she doesn't know where home is, but because it's by looking at the edges of our world that we find the world behind it.

[starsaroundsaturn]

what are your ships or character dynamics going to be in your King Arthur retelling?

lancelot and arthur are platonic, but love each other very much and are very close and are possibly each other's most important person. since they both share those memories and a lot of trauma, they bond very deeply over it, and are both very determined to prevent any of the harm that came about during both their lives in those memories.

arthur is a little hesitant towards gwenivere and wants a friendship with her, kind of a warm and elder-brotherly feeling towards her. arthur having all the memories of past!arthur has a lot higher maturity than gwen does when they meet in the story since they're teenagers when it begins. gwenivere adores arthur and looks up to him very much and definitely wants him to be in love with her. she might not be as in love with him as in love with the idea of him, though.

lancelot is definitely anxious around gwenivere. lancelot will see gwenivere come into a room and just sneak out like "I was never here!" gwenivere is very interested in lancelot because to her, lancelot seems very intelligent and brave and lovely, and gwen wants to be close to her.

merlin has kind of a crazy uncle vibe going with all of the kids. Sir Ector has a very fatherly role in the story.

there also will be gawain, percival, and several other knights included in this retelling, so let me know if you want to hear about those fleshed out more!

thanks for the ask! this was so fun to answer.

[starsaroundsaturn]

hello beloved long time no talk dear heart

hello beloved friend! I hope you are well <3 how was your day today?

[starsaroundsaturn]

my very dear quinn i needed this so badly I love you <3

[starsaroundsaturn]

*hugs tight* good morning dear heart I hope you are well and feeling as much blessed as you are a blessing to others <3

this is so kind of you, thank you <3 I am weary and worried and feeling less capable than I actually am, but I know that I am doing what I am meant to, which helps a lot. I am, however, feeling very blessed also, because there are so many people who care about me and so many gifts I have been given.

[starsaroundsaturn]

Are you religious

I am a practicing Catholic, so very much so!

[starsaroundsaturn]

❤️❤️❤️

❤️❤️❤️

[starsaroundsaturn]

please may i have a hug

anytime you need, darling.

I'm right here. *scoops you close*

[starsaroundsaturn]

'I love our chats' is that implying that you know or guess who I am...?

- the anon who finally told her friend

(he reacted pretty well, all things considered, and thanked me for telling him. we had a decent conversation.)

there are a couple people who I might think you could be, but I've kind of avoided guessing because you came on anon probably wanting a private space to vent or speak and I respect that <3 <3 sometimes it's nice to have a space to say things that don't echo, if you know what I mean? like space where you can say anything and not worry someone will know.

(I'm so glad to hear that!! *pats your friend's head and also yours if you like*)

[starsaroundsaturn]

*music playing*

Good morning starshine, the earth says hello!

lol thank you it's evening for me and I got off work but I'll save this to look at tomorrow XD I don't get on always before work because BRO work starts early when you teach

love ya ;D

[starsaroundsaturn]

also, im sorry if my prev anon is too painful for u. i just need somebody's advice somehow and you came to mind.

feeling bad about burdening u w it now. im sorry.

- the anon who broke her promise.

it is not too painful, dear one, and I am glad you came to me for help. I hope it helped if even a little. you do not have to be sorry for needing help, and you do not need to be sorry for asking for it. one of my favorite prayers is the st. francis prayer, and in it I ask to console rather than to be consoled. I have been consoled a great deal this weekend by others--I think it was only fair if I could console even a little bit. another prayer of mine is the prayer of generosity to God, when I ask him to teach me to be generous, and to serve Him as he deserves. the way that I serve Him here is by serving others--so thank you for bringing God to me this weekend, my friend. thank you for sharing your pain.

I hope your heart may be lightened, and your pain may decrease, and the light may shine upon you, so that the darkness may bring you no more fear. <3

[starsaroundsaturn]

hullo there! I came to you because you seem sweet. if you don't mind taking a bit of your precious time to give a girl a hand....

for a while I've been struggling (and by a while I do mean years) with thoughts of self-harm and the like. I finally plucked up the courage to mention it at a particularly difficult time, to one of my friends. we had a long conversation, and I ended by promising him, or as near to promise as isn't quite a promise, that I would tell him if I felt I was really going to do something.

and then, not long after, I actually did something. God be thanked I was unsuccessful, but I tried to break my ankle. (I'm fairly sure my sister suspected something, she has her own history, and the way I described injuring myself was improbable at best. nobody else seemed to question.)

but my friend, the one I'd all but promised to check in with if I did or intended to do anything, wasn't around, didn't see the injury. so I didn't tell him.

now I've broken my word and I feel terrible about it. this was a couple of months ago but I still haven't told him. if I do, I know he'll worry because he'll realise I'm untrustworthy, and I don't want to put that burden on him. if I ever actually do anything like that again, I will tell him.

please please what should I do I just don't know what's best here.

thank you for your time and God bless you

dear heart,

first of all, I am glad to hear that you are safe and that you have people who care for you and are trying to help keep you safe.

and then I would say that it does not sound to me like you are untrustworthy. I think it just sounds like you have been very afraid and very weary for a long time. I can understand those feelings to my bones. far too often I have lived in so much fear that it has crippled me. even now there are things I question the right action to manage because of my fear of hurting others or being hated. I don’t think that makes me untrustworthy. I think that just makes me human, and in need of grace. so I pray now, for both myself and you, that we may have the grace to do what God desires from both of us.

I think you feel that the right thing to do in this situation is to keep your promise, and I would agree with you.

now, (I hope this will help alleviate some of your fear) I have multiple friends who have shared very difficult things with me. some things that I’m not entirely sure what to do with sometimes. one of my best friends ever showed me some of her scars from self-harm recently, and my first feeling was not fear or worry. my first feeling was overwhelming gladness that she is still here. gladness that she trusted me enough to tell me. gladness that she is getting help. there was no blame that I felt she had not told me sooner, because I know how hard it is to reach out. another one of my friends, who has depression, anxiety and had an eating disorder for a while, and has a difficult relationship with their family, told me that I am the person they trust most and perhaps feel most loved by in the world. and while these people, along with many others, ostensibly put weight on my shoulders with this, I have never felt that weight. what I have felt instead is compassion for their pain, gladness for their presence, hope for the future, and concern for the present. it isn’t ‘worry,’ per se, but more so the desire to help however I can.

I think if your friend is worthy of your trust, that is what he will feel, too. not that you are untrustworthy, or weight, but glad that you are here, and glad that you trust him.  I can’t promise it, but I believe that is what most people feel when they are told something with that kind of trust.

it’s best to say these things aloud when possible. if you can, tell this friend in person or over the phone. do write down a little script for yourself that you can refer back to if you get stuck. I overthink things a lot. sometimes I write little sticky notes to guide my conversations and avoid that spiral of thinking over and over again of how I should say it.

you might say something like this:

“Friend, I made you a promise a while ago. I wanted to keep that promise by telling you I tried to hurt myself a few months ago. I didn’t manage to, and I worried about telling you, but I value your friendship and I trust you, so I wanted to talk to you about it. I know I haven’t brought it up sooner, and I’m sorry for that.” 

you will be in my prayers, and if you ever need encouragement or a forehead kiss, my inbox is open <3 

God be with you <3

[starsaroundsaturn]

Let's get to know each other! What are three songs that describe you? [your personality, your life, your essence] Answer and send to 5 of your followers <3

Don't stop believing by Journey

probably Beautiful Times by Owl City

Multiplied by NEEDTOBREATHE

[starsaroundsaturn]

youre wonderful i love you so much

i thank God for you everyday

this is so sweet of you anon <3 I will be praying for you and I hope you are well <3

[starsaroundsaturn]

*accepts forehead kiss* I love seeing your posts show up on my dash

thank you anon

also this is actual footage of me getting a squish on you

[starsaroundsaturn]

*cuddles* have a wonderful day :D

anon you have no idea how much i needed to hear this today <3

*pats your head and offers a forehead kiss*