#m:ruen li'na

[wardati]

"There's nothing you can do." (for whoever you have muse for!)

"There's nothing you can do."

Her eyes lowered to the floor, not in disappointment but rather in expectation. This was bound to happen. Yet, Li’na never was one to handle rejection so quietly or with poise.

But she could try.

“I understand.” No she didn’t.

“I just hoped you would have been some type of help I- “Her hands wrung around the handle of her purse, tightening in anxiousness, palms practically wet from withdrawal. “I know you’re right, there isn’t much of me left…it took more than ten minutes for me to walk up a flight of fucking stairs and all my dignity to not fall on my knees and grovel.” She chuckled bitterly.

Li’na bit her lip to keep from shaking, tethering herself to the pain, abstaining from looking more pathetic than she felt. This was going wrong, all wrong and he was right.

There’s nothing you can do.

There’s nothing you can do.

Li’na’s thoughts deepened, abusing the walls of her mind.

You’re stupid fucking crazy you think anybody’s going to help you? The voice in her head cut deeper. Can’t fucking help yourself, can’t do anything right, shoulda taken the last fix all at once and killed yourself, fucking bitch kill yourself. You should really get on your fucking kn-

Li’na closed her eyes and shook her head. Dispelling these thoughts were no easy feat, though she decided to battle her mind later, when she was alone.

“If I can’t change your mind. If it’s really hopeless…” she exhaled with a quiet shudder. “Just point me to the right direction and I’ll get out of your way.”

[bookofjin]

Records of Qifu Guoren

[From JS125. Qifu Guoren (d. 388) was descended from a line of western Xianbei chieftains in Longxi that entered the stage of history around the beginning of Western Jin and spent their time fighting the various other petty chieftains in the area. When Fu Jian, Emperor of Former Qin, conquered Northern China, Guoren’s father Sifan was forced to submit and was rewarded with the title of General who Garrisons the West. When Sifan died, Guoren inherited his post and after Fu Jian’s death in 385, Qifu Guoren established himself as Great Chanyu. In 386 he accepted the title of King of Yuanchuan from Fu Deng, ruler of the rump Former Qin state, but in practice he remained an independent ruler, spending his last years defeating various leaders in the region and incorporating their forces into his own.]

Qifu Guoren was a Xianbei of Longxi. In the past there were the three Rufusi [?], Chulian and Chilu sections. From north of the desert they set out south for Mount Dayin. [?] They came across a single enormous insect on the road, its shape was similar to a spirit tortoise, great like a hill or mound. They therefore killed a horse and sacrificed to it, prayed and said: “If a good spirit, ease the start of the journey; [if] evil spirit, then block and do not pass.” Suddenly it disappeared and there was a small boy there. At the time there was also in the Qifu section an old man without sons. He requested to raise [the boy] as his son, the multitude all allowed it. The old man joyously himself thereby had the relying on and consent [?], naming him He'gan.

He'gan, in the speech of the Xia is to rely on and depend on. [?] At the age of 10 sui, he was brave and fierce and good at riding and shooting,and [could] bend a bow of 500 jin. The four sections submitted to his martial manliness, and pushed him forward to lead and be the master, titling him as Qifu Kehan Tuoduomohe [?]. Tuoduo, the word means not a spirit, not a person [?].

His descendant was Youlin, precisely Guoren's 5th generation grandfather. At the beginning of Taishi [265 – 274], he led 5 000 families to move to the margin of the Xia, the section multitude gradually flourishing. The Xianbei Lujie with more than 70 000 family groups, garrisoned at Gaoping Stream. He and Youlin frequently attacked and struck each other. Lujie was defeated, and fled south to Lüeyang. Youlin completely combined their multitudes and because of that resided at Gaoping Stream.

Youlin died and his son Jiequan was established, he moved to Qiantun. Jiequan died and his son Li'na was established. He struck the Xianbei Tulai at Mount Wushu and punished Yuchi Kequan at Dafei Stream, and gathered his [their?] multitude of 30 000 family groups.

Li'na died and his younger brother Qi'ni was established. Qi'ni died and Li'na's son Shuyan was established. He punished the Xianbei Mohou at Yuan Stream, greatly routing him and taking the surrender of his multitude of 20 000 groups. Because of that he resided at Yuan Stream. Due to his junior uncle Keni being teacher and tutor, appointed him accordingly to the nation's government, Siyin Wuni to be Assistant General of the Left, headquartered at Caiyuan Stream, Chulian Gaohu as Assistant General of the Right, headquartered at Zhibian Stream, Chilu Nahu as General who Leads the Righteous, headquartered at Mount Qiantun.

Shuyan died and his son Rudahan was established. When it happened that Shi Le wiped out Liu Yao [in 326 AD], he was afraid and moved to farm wheat [?] at Mount Wugu.

Dahan died and his son Sifan was established. He first moved to Mount Dujian. Soon after [in 371 AD] he was raided by Fu Jian's general Wang Tong. The section multitudes rebelled and surrendered to Tong. Sifan sighed and spoke to left and right, saying: “The wise do not resist the enemy, the virtuous do not console the multitudes, swords and cavalry have not yet exchanged and yet root and origin is already defeated. Seeing the multitudes separate and scatter, power is likewise difficult to maintain. If [I] flee to the various sections, [they will] surely not accept me. [?] I want to do the plan of Huhanye!” He therefore approached Tong to surrender to Jian.

Jian was greatly pleased and appointed him to be Southern Chanyu, retaining him in Chang'an. [Jian] used Sifan's junior uncle Tulei as Protector-Controller of Yongshi to console their section's multitudes.

Not long after the Xianbei Bohanqin rebelled in Longyou. Jian used Sifan as Envoy Holding the Tally, Commander-in-Chief of All Army Affairs in Punishing the Western Hu and General who Garrisons the West to punish him. Bohan was afraid and requested to surrender. Sifan thereupon headquartered at Yongshi Stream, having extensive power and favour.

Sifan died and Guoren replaced him at headquarters. When Jian fostered the service of Shouchun [?], he summoned him to be General of the Van, to command the first spear-point cavalry. It happened that Guoren's junior uncle Butui rebelled in Longxi. Jian dispatched Guoren to return and punish him.

Butui heard and was greatly pleased, he welcomed Guoren on the road. Guoren set up up drinks and held a great assembly, pushed up the sleeves and made a loud speech, saying: “The Fu clan formerly because of the chaos of Zhao Shi thereupon foolishly stole the famous title, impoverishing soldiers for the furthest military, straddling and usurping eight provinces. The border houses are already tranquil, ought to soothe using virtue, just now the false broad powerful voice [?], industrious heart and distant plans, harassing action green life [?], exhausting and wearing out the Central States, disobeying Heaven and angering Man, how can thereby aid? [?] Moreover when things are their utmost, injury and misfortune fill up and overturn them, the Way of Heaven. Thereby I measure it, in this way doing service, difficult thereby to evade. [?] [I] accept to complete with the various lord the profession of one region.”

When Jian was defeated [at Fei River, 383 AD] and returned, he therefore summoned and assembled the various sections. There were those who did not adhere, he punished and united them. The multitude reached more than 100 000.

When Jian was killed by Yao Chang [in 385 AD], Guoren spoke to his brave leaders, saying: “The Fu clan are using the manners of an exalted generation and yet are besieged by the multitudes of a union of crows, this can be said to be Heaven. As for defending the common and bewildered turning around, first arrive at shaming it [?]. Seeing the moment and arising, the lifting up of brave heroes. [?] I although poor in virtue, rely on amassing the wealth of the generation, how can [I] look at the turning around of the coming times and not act!”

Accordingly in Xiaowu's 10th Year of Taiyuan [385 AD], he called himself Great Commander-in-Chief, Great General, Great Chanyu, Acting Shepherd of Qin and He provinces, and established the inaugural as Jianyi [“Establishing Righteousness”]. He used his general Yizhan Yinni as Chancellor of the Left, Wuyin Chuzhi as Chancellor of the Right, Dugu Piti as Assistant of the Left, Wuqun Yongshi as Assistant of the Right, his younger brother Qiangui as Supreme General, from the remainder he designated each proportionally. He set up 12 commanderies: Wucheng, Wuyang, Angu, Wushi, Hanyang, Tianshui, Lüeyang, Qiangchuan, Gansong, Kuangpeng, Baima and Yuanchuan. He built Yongshi city and accordingly resided there.

The Xianbei Pilan led his multitude of 5 000 to surrender. Next year [386 AD], Miyi of Nan'an and the various Lu Qiang came and struck Guoren, arriving from four sides [?]. Guoren spoke to the various generals, saying: “Previously people had the hearts of plundering people [?], and could not sit and wait for their arrival. [We] ought to restrain our power and bait the enemy, weaken the regiments to thereby stretch them, speak angrily of the army law to me [?] and neglect the robbers.” With that he directed a multitude of 5 000, raided them unexpectedly and greatly defeated them.

Miyi fled and returned to Nan'an. He and his younger brother Mohouti made use of leading a multitude of more than 30 000 families to surrender to Guoren, both were designated Generals and Inspectors.

Fu Deng dispatched envoys to appoint Guoren Envoy Holding the Tally, Great Commander-in-Chief, Commander-in-Chief of All Army Affairs of the Mixed Yi, Great General, Great Chanyu and King of Yuanchuan.

Guoren led 30 000 cavalry to raid the Xianbei chieftains Migui, Yuji, Tilun and others, 3 sections, at Liuquan. Meiyiyu of the Gaoping Xianbei and Jin Xi of the Eastern Hu joined troops to come and raid. They encountered each other at Kehun Stream. In a great battle he defeated them, the beheaded tallied 3 000, the captured horses 5 000. Meiyiyu and Xi fled and returned. The three sections shook in fear and he led the multitudes to accept the surrender.

He appointed Migui General who Establish Righteousness and Marquis of Liuquan, Yuji General who Establish Loyalty and Marquis of Lanquan, Tilun General who Establish Authority and Marquis of Mingquan.

Guoren's General who Establish Power, Chilu Wuguba embraced [?] the multitudes and rebelled, guarding Mount Qiantun. Guoren led 7 000 cavalry to punish him, beheading his section general Chilu Hou. Those who surrendered were more than 1 000 families. Ba was greatly afraid, thereupon surrendered and was restored to his office and rank.

Following that, he punished the Xianbei Yuezhi Chili at Pingxiang, greatly routing him and capturing his son Jiegui, his younger brother's son Fuban and section family groups of more than 5 000 people, then he returned.

In the 13th Year of Taiyuan [388 AD], Guoren died, he had been established for 4 years [385 – 388]. He had the bogus posthumous title Propagating and Zealous [xuanlie] King and temple name Zealous Founder [liezu].