#ma/mum/mother if im upset

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 5 (rambles)

I only realized last week, there’s only 7 episodes this series because the eighth would have been the Asriel centric one. So only two left now after tonight! :(

Also I finished the book during the last week so I am so READY

Ahh gotta love that London traffic!

I don’t know why but the Golden Monkey wearing a seatbelt SENT ME

Mrs Coulter is watching the mother and baby :(

Boreal saying that our world is barbaric and our world is corrupt is so accurate tbh I’m not even mad

Will literally just threw the knife into the wall omfg watch it!

Red PAN-da is becoming a permanent fixture in this show apparently

Lyra’s hair was so pretty this episode? Her costume too obviously but her hair had me in awe

The theme music to this show gives me literal chills

Boreal is evil but his house is A-fucking-plus

Okay but how does Ruth Wilson always look so gorgeous and fluid in this show?!?

Her faking nearly dropping one of Boreal’s precious collection pieces and him panicking 😅

Mrs Coulter’s little “hmm” and smile... we love a Queen

“Why are we whispering?” “I don’t know” - LMFAO

“Will, you left the window open” - LMAO and also please don’t do that, that’s like one of the BIG rules about the knife!

“He’s getting good at this” “he is” - we love a supportive feral wild girl and her dæmon

Mrs Coulter looking bored as fuck as Boreal plays his music is such a damn mood

“You’d like it here too” - Umm NO STOP PLEASE SHE DOESNT WANT IT

“Carlo, can you make that stop?” - OMG 🤣

“You’re far too conspicuous like that” - but she’s not??? She just looks like a posh well dressed woman, maybe that’s not common in this world but she looks fine??

Boreal picking out clothes he’s obviously got just for her is... eww. Just ewww.

Her reaction to the jeans/clothes though XD

“Would you mind?” - YEAH BOREAL STOP CREEPING AND FUCK OFF PLEASE

“Maybe it’s time we issue a firm denial of the tear in the sky” BRO IT’S LITERALLY HUGE AND RIGHT THERE YOU CAN’T PRETEND IT AIN’T

Oh shit the Magisterium know about that witches going to the new world + the massacre

MacPhail literally imprisoned Father Graves and for WHAT?! I think the power’s getting to him (which I know it the point but still!)

MRS COULTER SHUT THE DOOR ON HER DÆMON I’M-

Okay so I know it’s been implied/said that Mrs Coulter can go far away from the monkey already, and that they maybe have been through some kind of process that’s made that a thing, but like DAMN.

“I’m sure you’ve encountered witches in your travels” - if I hadn’t already read the books, I would be asking if she IS a witch tbh like omg

This is probably one of the few times I’ll say this but... I feel so sorry for the monkey?? Just him watching her as she leaves from the window... like that’s so sad. I get why she couldn’t exactly walk around with a monkey but urgh

“I apologize if she was a nuisance” “She wasn’t a nuisance!” - Oof you tell her, Mary

“You must be so proud.” “... I am.” - OOF

Mary showing that she’s better fit to be a parent to Lyra than Lyra’s real mother tbh

Damn Marisa disappeared FAST

Mary really googled Mrs Coulter I’m-

“You must play the serpent” “hornbeam” “save the girl and the boy” - IT’S HAPPENING IM GOING TO CRY IM SO EXCITED

The computer turning completely off and the room going dark before going red OH MY GOD

“Oh shut it, Pan” - LMAO

OH NO OH NO ANGELICA FOUND TULLIO AND SHE IS PISSED D:

A+ acting from Bella Ramsay by the way

“We WILL get you” - OH SHIT

The fact that Will feels guilty over fighting and inadvertently getting Tullio attacked by spectres because he has the knife :’(

It’s so sweet to see Lyra and Pan comforting him though

“I’m not judging” - Mary’s sister says while totally judging her for reading the Holy Bible. She probably thinks she’s about to rejoin the convent!

I find the relationship between Marisa and the monkey so interesting?? I’m so intrigued by it

“Do they drink in this world?” “That, they do well.” - LMFAO ACCURATE THOUGH

“I found her arrogant, like many women in this world.” - umm, FUCK you, Boreal you misogynistic sexist piece of shit

So Mrs Coulter was denied a doctorate despite being the best in her class because she’s a woman, and they would only have published her papers if they were by a man. I’m starting to see why she got upset when she met Mary, who’s got her own office and a doctorate and is head of the department/project

“Who I could have been in this world” - oh shIT

The way she started talking about how she felt after the whole affair/baby ordeal, followed by “we’re not talking about Asriel, we’re talking about ME” - FUCK. I love Ruth Wilson’s portrayal, I love it

“You’ve spent your time trading trinkets” - lmfao you tell him ma’am

“Were you hoping to add me to your little collection?” “I was hoping this would be a life for you here” - oh god I hate it, fuck right off Carlo

“If you got me, you wouldn’t even begin to know what to do with me” - oh SHIT :O

Lyra turning up to distract them so Will could have the chance to cut a window and steal the Alethiometer had me on the edge of my seat

Let’s be real right now, the whole last 15 minutes? THE MOST TENSE AND INCREDIBLE PIECE OF TELEVISION ASDFGHJKL

Mrs Coulter’s face when she saw Lyra at the door :’(

Also she nearly saw Will and I was sitting there praying she wouldn’t find him, I was so worried even though I’ve literally just reread the book

So um THE FUCKING MONKEY BASTARD JUMPSCARED ME AND I AUDIBLY YELLED SO LOUDLY HOLY HECK

The way that Lyra saw her mum and immediately tried to run away though, she just keeps trying to yeet herself away from her parents and I honestly don’t blame her at all

Boreal was being truly extra in the way he dropped his snake dæmon out of his sleeve like that whilst advancing on Will

“Why would I trust you?” TRUTH

Coulter saying for Lyra to stay away from Will and getting super teary eyed makes me think she’s worried Lyra will suffer like she did? Like she’s worried that Lyra will suffer at the hands of men and be in the same situation she was I think? And that’s so sad but nuanced

“I am NOTHING like you.”

So Lyra did this little head move like Marisa did in 1x02, when she made the monkey attack Pan to subdue Lyra - AND THEN PAN ATTACKED THE MONKEY JUST LIKE THAT, LITERALLY EXACTLY THE SAME, AND MRS COULTER FALLING TO THE FLOOR AND CLUTCHING THE SOFA LIKE LYRA DID?? AND LYRA WATCHING WITH THIS COLD LOOK ON HER FACE?!

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A COMPARISON GIFSET BECAUSE IM CRYING

I love Will getting mad at Boreal taunting him over his mum, and immediately starting to punch him

HE SMASHED THAT COLLECTION PIECE ON BOREAL’S HEAD FUCK YEAH WILL 👏🏻

That was a DAMN close escape, holy fuck, but she’s got the Alethiometer back!

“The man who hurt you, I wanted to kill him” - same Lyra

I was so emotional when she was talking about how Marisa used her dæmon to hurt her and Pan, and Will saying that he’s never worried about his mum hurting him... the comparison is so sad

“I hope I’m not like either of my parents” - I mean I don’t blame her tbh

SHE CONSIDERED MA COSTA AND LEE SCORESBY TO BE BETTER PARENT FIGURES TO BE LIKE I’M CRYING

So Mrs Coulter is definitely planning some shit, like she didn’t seem that concerned when Boreal was talking about the Spectres, and like obviously I know what happens but I’ve always been intrigued as to why the Spectres listen to her instead of just attacking her. Also is it something to do with her dæmon? Like if they ARE separated in some way, maybe the Spectres don’t feed on her because it’s Dust or something? (Idk if that makes any sense)

“Deceive the guardian... okay... okay...” honestly same XD

Mary pretending to be Mrs Coulter to get past the guard is such a brilliant idea, like she just ran with it immediately, we have to stan a Queen who keeps a calm head

SHE WENT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND INTO THE CITY AAAAHHHH

The angels said they’d protect her, right? So she doesn’t need to fear the Spectres I’m assuming (I need to assume or I’ll worry)

The promo for next week was literally half what we saw THIS week and half Lee/John Parry footage I’m assuming is next week... ?

The fact there’s only two episodes left makes me so sad :( I have no idea what I’ll do waiting for the final series - and I’m assuming it’ll be delayed maybe because of Covid. Plus I’m hoping we get the extra episode NEXT series, the one that was Asriel-centred and supposed to be in this one but wasn’t filmed because of Coronavirus, so fingers crossed! 🤞

[idjitlili]

The toy store

A request.

I hope this is what you want ,my dude. When i got it was like damn  gotta write this now ahhhh, I started writing this at 00:26 am.finished at 2:14  Anyways here you are. i tried , i hope it is what you wanted xx

summary:imagine visting Bofur's shop often with your kid brother ,but you cannot help but find him attractive,in which thats exactly why you keep bringing your brother as an excuse to see him.

wordcount:1363

y/b/n=your brothers name if you dont have brother ,uhh your brother is named jared.

Your parents had had you very young ,and decided to wait a while until they were able to afford another child,that wasnt until you were 10. You were now an adult ,but you still lived with your parents because they would have to travel often due to their work,so you would look after your brother, y/b/n. You enjoy that as you could make whatever you wanted for dinner , take him out . In which you would take him to this toy shop,ran by a dwarf and his brothers,he would work in shop three days a week,and he's the exact reason you go there so much.

You would only go during those three days, you would always get your brother small everytime,with the money that your parents gave you. You didnt have anything else to spend it on other than clothes ,but you didnt need anymore ,plus you got see Bofur,yes you knew his name. Plus you liked seeing your brothers excitement when he got to pick a toy,he had so many because of you.

Your parents had left yesterday,for a week or two trip,your mother had suspected there was a reason you would always happily take care your brother.she had followed you and your brother to the toy shop ,only to see you talk a dwarf while your brother placed the toy on the counter. You had pulled your money gently from your pocket ,counting the right amount before offering it to Bofur. He smiled widely at you,shaking his head no, you looked at him confused.

"Miss y/n, you are always here ,this one is on me." he sent a soft smile to you,gently pushing your coin filled hand away,a blush covers your cheeks ,as you put the money back in your pocket. You mother watched from outside,smirking knowing exactly why went to the toy shop so often,she wanted grandchild desperately ,even though her son was still a child. She knew you wouldn't make the first move,so she would push it to happen.

"are you sure? i do-""really its on me ,anything for my prettiest customer." he had interrupted you making you blush brightly,smiling nervously at him. Y/b/n grabs his toy,"thank you mister Bofur!" he excitedly shouted grabbing your hand with his free hand. "you are very welcome laddy,you make sure you look after your ma." you blushed hard ,he thought he was your son,darn how old did he think you were ,jesus. "oh i-im not ,i-im his sister." Bofur had chuckled before speaking smoothly "I was messing with you, you've been coming here long enough ,for me to hear him call you y/n." you sigh in relief almost ,laughing quietly.

"I cant even get a boyfriend ,let alone have a child." you state quietly ,avoiding eye contact ,watching y/b/n play with his soldier figure on the counter ,you move your feet removing the prssure from standing in one place so long.  "thats hard to believe miss y/n, you a-" before he would even finish the bell on the shop door jingles;as it opens revealing your mother, your smirking mother who struts over to you ,picking up her son holding him in her arms.  "ma, I thought you and da-" you begin to speak only to be cut off again,Bofur is beyond confused on what is happening ,he liked you but he was nervous,

"I came to see what you do when we leave." she stated simple smirking still ,you look at her annoyed,how much more embarrassing could this get honestly. " what you do think I do? go get pissed and pregnant?" Bofur looks at you shocked he hadnt seen you like this before ,he would feel the same if his mother followed him out. Your mother laughed at you "no of course not,so this is what you spend all your money  we give you on?" you nod you head ,you were beyond motified at this point.

Bofur that it was sweet you spent all your money on your sibling,he could see how you were with children. "well are you going to introduce me to your friend or not?"you gugled "ma this Bofur,Bofur this is my ma ,y/m/n." he smiled at you and your mother ,holding his holding out for your mother to shake "nice to meet you ,ma'am." he had spoken politely,your mother took his shaking it smiling "you too."

After letting go of her hand she had already popped out another question, "so is there anything going between you two,that i dont know?" god she never stopped smirking ,as much you loved her ,you really couldnt think of anything worse right now. "MA, no there isnt." your face was sweating,you were so angry,and upset,but you would thank her later. You had gotten out your mothers grip long ago playing with toys on the shelves,lucky it was almost clsoing time so it was just you five in there,

  "why do you come her so so often then ,hm?" she was beyond cheeky ,but she was choking out the truth and she knew it. "uh to get y/b/n toys?" you knew shes had you, "and you I saw you flirting with her,dont try to deny that werent because i cut you off when i walked in." Bofur was too red face as were you ,she was winning. "MA.you need to stop being creepy,i bet you had your face agaisnt that window ,looking like heres johnny." she ignored you "i will leave you two to talk it out,come on y/b/n lets go home." she gestured for y/b/n to follow ,he runs after her with soldier in hand ,waving goodbye ,you both watch them leave making their way down the street.

You turn back to Bofur embarrassment imprinted on your face,"I'm so sorry,Bofur." you spoke ,lip trembling ,eyes filling up with tears yet . "hey,dont cry,if anything she was right" he had spoke walking around the counter infront of you wiping the tears that streamed down your face, look at him confused.

"w-what?2 before you could say anything more he had pressed his lips to yours gently. "you dont know how long i wanted to confess," he spoke ,pulling you into an embrace,you hug him tightly back taking in his scent,your cheeks now drying slowly."me too."  you had been going to his shop for months ,it was a little crazy. "you would like accompany me to dinner,miss y/n?" he spoken pulling slightly out of the embrace,you nod smiling he presses his lips upon yours again.

He closes the shop before talking you to dinner ,lets just say you didnt live with your parents for much longer,and even so Bofur would still maake y/b/n toys,he really liked Bofur and your mum teased you all the time saying she got you both together.In which you would tell her and for that I am grateful. Within two years you were married and already had given birth to a son.

your mother was over the moon ,and Bofur made hundreds of toys for him,your brother didnt like didnt give him as much attention as before.Bofur was a great husband and father ,and you had your brother to thank for pulling you into his shop all those years ago.

[casualmaraudering]

a meet-cute drabble for @wolfywordweaver who needed cheering up ignore that im like 90 hours late and also who for some reason likes my awful prompt ideas enough to turn them into fantastic fics, ily!!

***

“Sirius! Honey, come here, will you? I need someone to show Remus around!”

Sirius - 21 years old, soon to start his last year of his BDe in illustration, dreams of one day opening his own tattoo parlour, and helps out his adoptive parents in their animal shelter whenever he’s not in classes - is currently battling a very stubborn Husky going by the name of Kettle. Just so happens it’s the week of bathing all the dogs, and Kettle would quicker chew through the lock on her kennel rather than surrender herself to Sirius and his (evil, apparently) bath sponges.

“Your lucky day, girl,” Sirius says, exiting the kennel, making sure he’s taken all the bathing supplies with him - they wouldn’t last very long if he’d leave them alone with a pup Husky. “But I’m not done with you!” he eyes the dog, who barks at him. Cute, that one, despite being hellishly stubborn. “Just you wait, we’re getting you into the bath today if it’s the last damn thing I do.”

“Sirius!”

“Coming, mum!” he yells back, finds a cloth to quickly wipe his hands (there’s fur just about everywhere, and the fact his preferred colour of choice is black doesn’t help - he looks like a cheap rug), and runs to the front of the shelter.

With James and his broken leg (Sirius had almost nothing to do with that particular accident), their parents need someone to help Sirius out with running the shelter: a full-time employee rather than a typical volunteer, til James can come back and resume his usual role. Sirius vaguely remembers mum telling them over dinner that a friend of hers has a son (or was it a nephew? Or cousin?) who’s willing to help out.

Somehow, she forgot to mention he’s hot. And exactly Sirius’s type, too. And that’s something Sirius would’ve loved to know beforehand, so their first meeting wasn’t with him covered in dog hair, wearing one of his oldest, most worn out t-shirts, and with his hair up in the most unattractive up-do known to mankind.

“Oh, there you are!” his mum, currently talking to Curly Hair And Freckles, waves him over. “That’s my other son, Sirius. If you’ve any problems or issues, if you’re not sure what to do - he’s the one to talk to. Sirius, be a darling and show Remus here around.”

“No problem at all,” Sirius smiles charmingly (it would’ve been more charming if he didn’t have dirt on his cheek). “I’d shake your hand but it’s bath day and I’d rather not get you dirty.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Remus says - his voice is warm, with an accent Sirius can’t quite place. Northern Irish? “I don’t mind getting a bit dirty.”

Sirius blinks, losing his composure. This hot guy didn’t just flirt with him, right?

The tour of the building is very pleasant - and indeed, Remus seems to be catching onto Sirius’s flirting and flirts right back. Not that Sirius finds that particularly surprising (he’s aware of his appearance, plus he’s got a rainbow tattoo on his forearm, so him being gay isn’t much of a secret), but it’s flattering nevertheless, especially that Remus is very much what he’d look for in a boyfriend.

When they’re done with the tour, Sirius deposits Remus in the office to sign some paper; Sirius plans to go back to battling Kettle, but his mum stops him at the reception.

“He’ll fit right in, don’t you think?” she asks.

“Yeah, definitely. Seems to like animals, so that’s the most important.”

“His mum says he likes boys too,” mum flashes him a grin. Sirius blinks. “You two seem to be getting along. And Hope says he’s single.”

“Mum-”

“You like him, at least.”

“I do not!” She cocks her head and raises her brows. “Okay, maybe I do, but that doesn’t mean anything. You don’t have to go out of your way to get me a boyfriend, Ma. I’m fine.”

“You should ask him out,” his mum elbows him - he groans in annoyance, which just makes her grin harder. “There’s no harm in that!”

“Yes there is! I’m gonna work with him for two months! It’ll make things awkward and we’re here every day for seven to twelve hours.”

“I just want you to be happy, love,” she puts her hand on his. Sirius smiles - he can’t be mad at her, ever. “Give it some thought, okay? Remus is a very nice boy, I think you two would make a good couple.”

“I’ll think about it.”

*

Sirius is mid-way through scrubbing Kettle - who’s trying her best to get away any opportunity she gets - when the backdoor opens behind him.

“Need any help?”

He turns to see Remus leaning against the wall, an amused smile on his face (and a cute one, too).

“Would be lovely, yeah,” Sirius replies. He’d love to stare at Remus more, but Kettle almost slips past him, so he goes to stop her - he gets his whole shirt wet and soapy, but he can’t care by this point.

“Doesn’t like baths?”

“Hates them. Her name’s Kettle and I love her to death, even if she’s a bit of a goblin. Get the conditioner for me while you’re there, it’s on the shelf to your left. The sooner we’re done, the sooner she can roll around in the mud again.”

Sirius is extremely determined to ignore their hands brushing against each other through the whole process of soaping and then drying the dog. He’s also determined to ignore just how his stomach squeezes whenever that happens.

“You don’t happen to have a spare t-shirt, maybe?” Remus laughs awkwardly, pointing towards his chest. Just like Sirius, he’s covered in dog hair, soap, and water (Sirius refuses to let Remus’s shirt clinging to his body affect him. He’s not 17 anymore, he’s not about to get hot and bothered by something so stupid).

“Oh yeah, sure, in the staff room,” Sirius replies absentmindedly, grabbing the key to the staff room. His mum has probably gone home by now, so it’s best to have a key in case it’s closed.

He leaves the bath area (it has a more sophisticated name, but it’s not like he ever remembers it) with Remus behind him, going through the narrow corridors of the shelter.

“You’ll have to get used to the dog hair, I’m afraid,” he throws. “It’s always good to have at least one spare outfit in the locker. There’s very unfortunate accidents sometimes.”

“Oh, I know. I foster a lot,” Remus replies, once they’re inside the staff room. For the umpteenth time in his life, Sirius curses just how small the space is. “I’m quite used to having dog fur on me 24/7.”

“You’re a great addition, then,” Sirius smiles at him briefly, before going to dig through his locker. He picks one of the shirts he has he thinks will fit Remus. Although similar in height, Sirius thinks his shoulders are a bit broader, so it might end up a bit big on Remus still. “Hope you like Queen.”

“One of my favourite bands, actually.”

Sirius nods in approval, and tries to focus on changing on his own instead of staring at Remus. He mostly succeeds. But also confirms his theory that Remus’s entire body is covered in small freckles.

Once he’s back in clean clothes (or, well… relatively clean. His entire wardrobe has a permanent layer of dog hair on it), Sirius sighs and goes on to mentally slap himself for what he’s about to do. He’s either going to prove his mother very wrong, or have to deal with her ‘I told you so’ til his dying day.

“Are you free right now?” he says quickly, before he can change his mind. “D’you maybe wanna grab a coffee with me? There’s a good Italian place down the road. They do desserts, too, if you like sweets.”

Remus blinks at him, and Sirius is ready to regret all of his life choices and migrate to France, but then his mouth breaks out in a very gentle smile.

“Are you asking me out on a date, by any chance?”

“Would you be terribly upset if I were?”

“Well… you like dogs. You like Queen. You have long hair, which I’ve been told I have a thing for-” Sirius smiles at that, his hand brushing through his hair in response. “-and I’m very curious about that one Celtic tattoo. So… I’d rather be happy if you did decide to make it a date.”

“One question, though,” Sirius flashes his signature grin - and hopes Remus finds it at least half as attractive as everyone tells him it is. “Do you let people take you home on the first date?”

Remus raises his brows in amusement, but his smile doesn’t falter. Sirius feels his heart skip.

“If you pay for dessert.”