#majingki-boy

[shitfics]

"My date stood me up, can you come pick me up?" Jinkibum;; i'm glad you're back! 💚 And i hope you're better rn. I'm another one that have the notifs on because I really like your fics/prompts. Thank you for sharing what you write again ;;;;

Thank you so much bb!! That really warms my heart. ;-; And sorry this one is coming a bit late, it ended up longer than I thought it would and I’ve been real unfocused lately. Things are definitely better than they were, but they’re still a bit rougher than I realized. ^^; 

I hope you enjoy this!! (If you can’t tell, this is 100% inspired by the incredibles because I saw it the other weekend.)

-------

It takes a few dozen rings to get through.

“This is Kibum speaking.”

“My date stood me up. Can you come pick me up?”

The other end of the line crackles. “...Jinki? Is that you?”

“Yeah.” Jinki runs a looped finger around the ribbed wire of the payphone. “I’m at that breakfast dinner near the highway.”

“The one with the shitty coffee?”

He laughs. “That’s the one.”

“I’ll be there in a bit.”

The line goes dead with a click. Jinki sets the phone back on the receiver and sighs. He knows Kibum will come for him, but he wishes hadn’t gotten into this situation. He should have given up on his date and taken the last bus.

But the stupid part of him -- the desperate part of him, if he’s honest with himself -- had to hope that maybe the other man was just late. So he’d stayed. And now he’s stuck on the opposite end of the city from his apartment.

He takes a seat against the side of the now-closed diner and lights a cigarette to pass the time.

The researchers that’d run tests on him back when heroes were above-ground had never told him if his freakish strength and sturdiness came with an immunity to the shit in them, but it’s not like he would’ve quit anyway. The habit is one of the few things about himself he can consider normal, and it’s hard not to be attached to that. Especially in recent years.

When he sees the dual headlights of Kibum’s bright blue car pulling into the parking, he stomps out the light and tosses the butt in a nearby trash can.

“Thanks for coming to get me. I know it’s late.”

“Don’t worry about it -- anything for an old friend.” Kibum smiles at him widely. When Jinki settles into his seat, he can see that Kibum isn’t clothed in his daring fashion -- instead of a tight-fitting dress-shirt, he’s clothed in a plain pink house robe, over a set of loose cotton pajama pants.

He feels a pang of guilt. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“Of course not. You know I always draw at night.”

Jinki laughs. “Yeah.”

Kibum rolls out onto the street and enters the highway for the direction of Jinki’s apartment, already knowing where to go. The engine revs sharply as they gain speed -- Kibum’s flashy sports car really was something else -- but quickly settles into a steady rumble. It’s then that Kibum decides to speak again.

“Do you know why they stood you up?”

“I have a guess, since we met through a friend of a friend. He probably heard along the grapevine that I had powers.” Jinki sighs. “I swear, everyone gay in this city already knows...”

“It’s a small community. Things travel like that.”

“You’d still think at least one person wouldn’t care. It’s not like we’d have to worry about having children.”

Kibum snorts. “Don’t worry about it so much. You’re young and handsome; you’ll find someone.”

He turns to look at Kibum, expecting a follow-up joke. The lights over the highway give him only an intermittent and dim view of Kibum’s face, but Jinki can see his words were genuine.

He smiles slowly. “You think I’m handsome?”

“I’m just stating facts,” he says, hand tightening on the wheel. He glances at Jinki sidelong, then looks away quickly, back at the road. “...But I do, yeah.”

Jinki shifts in his seat, suddenly unsure what to say. He’d known Kibum liked men from the moment they met, and at first he’d been interested -- but he pushed that down when Kibum treated him with nothing more than professional distance.

Things had changed, though. Kibum knew his alterego -- had to, since it was the only legal identity he had anymore -- and they’d become friends. Why couldn’t that change again into something else?

The old warmth in his chest that would bloom when Kibum’s hands traveled over him to take measurements feels just in reach. He wants more of it again, and not just for nostalgia.

“Would you want to come up for a drink, once we’re back at my place? I splurged on some good whiskey recently.”

“I’m not stupid, Jinki. I know what you’re really asking.”

“I’m not good at being subtle, I know,” he says. “...But what do you say?”

Kibum finger taps rapidly against the leather cover of the wheel for a moment before he answers. “Look, if you’re just lonely--”

“I’m not,” Jinki says. “I was interested in you before.”

“You never seemed like it.”

“We met through a government program. You think I was going to make a move on you when there were agents there every time I tried on a new supersuit you made?”

“You have a point,” Kibum admits, lips pursed.

He brings his car to a stop in the lot of Jinki’s dingy apartment complex, and after shifting into park, stares at Jinki appraisingly. The light of a passing van travels over his face, and again, Jinki gets a brief insight into Kibum’s feelings -- there’s hope and want in his eyes, but his jaw is set with tension.

“If we do this, and it doesn’t work, I’m not sure how easy it’ll be for me to go back to being friends.” He licks his lips, clearly nervous. “I want to make sure you’re aware of that.”

“I’m willing to take that risk, if you are.”

Kibum’s mouth quirks, a bit of vulnerability falling away to be replaced with his usual confidence. “I drove across the city at two in the morning to just give you a ride home. How much more obvious can I make it that I’m willing to do stupid things for you?”

Jinki grins. He reaches a hand across the car and places it on Kibum’s thigh. “I can think of a few ways, maybe.”

Kibum peels it away, brow raised in amusement. He leans in towards Jinki, who closes his eyes, heart fluttering in anticipation for their first kiss -- only to feel breath against his lips as Kibum does nothing more than speak.

“You owe me that drink first.”

[shitfics]

Since some have mentioned Joon. What do you think happened to Joonew?

Hm..I don’t know, tbh. Especially since Jinki is a pretty private person, it feels hard to tell who he’s close to or if they still talk much or anything. I imagine they might’ve drifted apart as Joon was starting to pull away from the music industry, maybe, or their business just caught up with em.

[shitfics]

One of These Nights (4/?); jongyu; pg

Jinki knows that he’s gay. What he doesn’t know is how to handle a crush on someone as entwined in the music industry as he is.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

and here’s part 4! ^^ i’ll try and get this whole fic up on ao3 sometime soon as well. this part goes through hello era, up to swc 1, and ends with jongyu having to say some goodbyes for a while since shinee is beginning their japanese debut (2011).

also, fun note maybe: i imagine that in this au, jong got the inspiration for one of his early songs from the last scene -- i kinda wonder if it’s obvious which one, but hopefully y’all can enjoy it! there might be a bigger gap between this part and the next than there was between 3 and 4, because i haven’t started editing the next bit yet. ^^; but i’ll try to keep it MUCH shorter than the gap between 2 and 3 was, lmao.

***

Jinki can’t decide if he has the best luck in the world, or the worst.

The next time he goes to see Jonghyun, it's ten past ten at night, and Jonghyun isn't answering his door. Jinki sends another text message and stretches out his back, opening up a random phone game and prepares himself for a wait.

Two levels later, when the door finally opens, Jinki looks up from his phone, eyes going wide. His greeting is stuck in his throat, somewhere between the realization that Jonghyun is shirtless and the realization Jonghyun is wet.

"Sorry, I haven't finished getting ready yet," Jonghyun smiles, inviting Jinki inside. "I found a good melody, and I got caught up writing, and then I was humming the song to myself in the shower, and--"

"It's fine, hyung, I’m used to it." Jinki steps past him quickly. His nerves prickle at the extra warmth radiating off of Jonghyun's bare skin from the shower. He's always wondered if he'd catch Jonghyun half undressed, considering he’s usually behind schedule, but he hadn't expected it to be today -- or for him to be so far behind that he was only wearing a towel.

In an attempt to imitate his usual actions, Jinki takes a seat on the couch and leans over the coffee table, pretending to be interested in the new stack of books -- anything to avoid looking up.  "How, uh -- how long do you think till you're ready?"

"Not long." Jonghyun trots in front of him, foiling Jinki’s plan to avoid looking at him, and glances down at the books. "Do you want to borrow one of these?"

Jinki grins stiffly. "No thanks. I can a probably read a few while you finish getting ready."

"I won't be that long." Jonghyun rolls his eyes and throws the towel from his hands over his head. "I just have to dry my hair and get dressed."

Jinki's eyes snap to the movement as if pulled by a string, face heating at every flex of Jonghyun's torso as he rubs at his hair. He tries to keep his attention up, on Jonghyun's face, or the little mole that rests between his collarbones, but the trail of dark hair leading from Jonghyun's stomach to the towel around his hips keeps pulling it downwards.

Jinki clears his throat and forces himself to look up, only to flush brightly when his eyes meet Jonghyun’s. He jumps for the first excuse he can think of for staring. "How is it that you work out more than I do, when I'm an idol?"

Jonghyun laughs, a pleased smile on his lips. "You're dancing all the time, you don't need to."

"Yeah, but that's cardio. You obviously lift, which I haven't really done much." Jinki sighs. "And Minho's convinced they'll want us to go shirtless for our next concept. I don't think I'll do it, but I'll still probably show my arms and shoulders more..."

"Hm." Jonghyun's eyes scan down Jinki's body. "You already have a good build right now."

Jinki flushes. "You think so?"

"Yeah," Jonghyun says. "I mean, if you're worried, you could always come work out with me -- I've been skipping way too many days to hang out with you since your rehearsals have started slowing down."

Jinki laughs. "I’ll think about it -- I’m just not sure I’d want to spend the time. I enjoy doing nothing too much."

"It's nice, isn't it?" Jonghyun grins. "Let me get dressed so we can get to drinking and doing nothing."

Jonghyun clutches his towel to keep it from falling as he walks back towards his room. Before he slips inside, he gestures for Jinki to follow, apparently not wanting to end their conversation. Jinki stops, hesitating at the threshold of the door until laughs. "You can come in, I’ll be dressing in the bathroom. There's nothing in here but my clothes and a bed."

That's the problem, Jinki thinks when he steps inside. My imagination has been bad enough without the details.

Even with that in mind, Jinki can’t help but look around the room while Jonghyun files through his closet. At least it keeps him from staring at Jonghyun while he’s shirtless.

The walls of Jonghyun’s room are dark, and the furniture is modern, the same simple mix of white and black that Jonghyun had used to decorate the rest of his apartment. An assortment of candles rests along the shaded window, with a select few placed on a small bedside table and the small set of dressers opposite the bed. If it were anyone else's room, Jinki might snicker at the deliberate sensuousness of the decorations, but in Jonghyun's, it just makes him smile as he imagines Jonghyun humming to himself as he pens new lyrics in the candlelight.

"Sorry again for making you wait," Jonghyun says, interrupting the image when he turns away from the closet back to Jinki. He throws a pair of jeans and a shirt over his shoulder and retreats to the bathroom. "I'll be right back, just have to put clothes on."

"Sure," Jinki says, throat tight as he watches Jonghyun leave.

The door clicks behind him, and he looks away from it quickly, unable to face it when he knows Jonghyun would be naked behind it.

He turns back to the rest of the bedroom. With Jonghyun no longer the center of his attention, Jinki's focus automatically shifts to the single point of color in the room, a large but simply composed photo resting on the mantle above the faux fireplace. The sunset shade of orange that predominates the image adds to the relaxing atmosphere of the room, but the subject of the photograph makes Jinki's heart race.  

The picture is nearly close enough for Jinki to touch, but he has to do a double take of the image to believe what he sees -- the frame is predominated by the bare back of a shirtless man, resting on his elbow as he looks at what appears to be another topless man opposite him. After looking over his shoulder to make sure Jonghyun hasn't left the bathroom yet, Jinki steps closer to the picture and squints at the corner to read what he assumes to be a title: boys.

Jinki swallows. His English isn't the best, but he can understand that. His thoughts race ahead of him. Did the picture mean something? There’s hoping, and there’s being desperate, but...an image like that isn’t the kind of photograph he would expect to find as a centerpiece in a straight man's bedroom.

Jinki jumps away from the piece when the bathroom door swings open, turning quickly to Jonghyun and putting on an innocent smile -- he hopes he doesn't look guilty.

Jonghyun grins back at him. "I told you I wouldn't take long, but I decided to wear my contacts today, and that was a bit of a struggle. You all ready to go?"

Jinki nods absently, still preoccupied with his thoughts.

"Let's go then, I don't want to miss getting a good table." Jonghyun walks backwards toward the door, pointing at Jinki in challenge. "I'm going to beat you at billiards tonight, you should watch out."

Jinki shoves Jonghyun's shoulder, sending him stumbling. Falling back into their usual teasing should keep from thinking any longer about the photograph on the mantle. But when Jonghyun asks him to shut the door behind him, he steals one last glance, pausing to take imprint the bare shoulders of the boys into his memory.

It doesn’t feel real. He can't shake the feeling that tomorrow he'll doubt he saw it at all.

***

realjonghyun85: Hello~ Hello~

majingki: ...Hyung

majingki: How long are you going to use that joke TT

realjonghyun85: Until you make me stop!!

majingki: Well, I couldn't do that to you he he

majingki: I'm too happy you like the song that much ^^

majingki: You've played it a few times on Blue Night already, right?

realjonghyun85: Of course I've played it!!

realjonghyun85: My songs are still on that album too...

realjonghyun85: Promoting it benefits us both he he

majingki: You're so greedy hyung

realjonghyun85: Only because I want to buy you meals~

realjonghyun85: But you know I'm playing

majingki: I can always tell ^^

majingki: How are you hyung?

majingki: I've barely gotten to talk to you since our repackage promotions started TT

majingki: I miss you

realjonghyun85: I’m good

realjonghyun85: And I've missed you too Jinki-yah

realjonghyun85: But you’re nearly done, right?

realjonghyun85: So we can meet more? ^^

majingki: Yeah we’re nearly done with our repackage

majingki: But I'm actually still kind of busy TT

realjonghyun85: Oh?

majingki: We're preparing something big...

majingki: I'm really excited for it

reajonghyun85: Something big?

realjonghyun85: Why are you being so vague...

realjonghyun85: Are you going to tell me what it is???

majingki: Hm...

majingki: Not sure

realjonghyun85: Jinki-yah TT

realjonghyun85: Please?

majingki: No ^^

realjonghyun85: You can't just leave me hanging like that TT

realjonghyun85: You have to tell me!

majingki: Of course I'll tell you eventually

majingki: But I'd rather tell you in person

majingki: I want to see your face when I do~

realjonghyun85: Hmph, fine TT

realjonghyun85: I'll wait till then

realjonghyun85: But I'm not buying you anything until you tell me what it is!

majingki: Really hyung ... you would blackmail me like that? TT

realjonghyun85: It's not blackmail, it's incentive

realjonghyun85: So you should tell me whatever it is the first time we meet again ^^

realjonghyun85: You want something delicious?

realjonghyun85: You're hungry after your promotions, right? How about steak?

majingki: Fine hyung ... I’ll tell you right away when I see you

majingki: Let's meet soon

majingki: I really do want to tell you ^^

***

"You’re having a concert?" Jonghyun blinks at him, excitement already bubbling through from under his shock. "Seriously? SHINee’s first concert?"

"Our first concert," Jinki repeats with a grin, leaning over the table to whisper. "The first show will be in Japan, the day after Christmas."

"In Japan?" Jonghyun's eyes widen as he takes in the information. "Not here?"

"I don't really get it myself." Jinki shrugs and sits back in his seat. "I'm sure some people aren't going to like it, but I guess it kind of makes sense. We're launching our Japanese debut right after, and it's a good way to start things off."

"Mm." Jonghyun's finger runs a slow circle around his drink. "I keep forgetting that's coming up...or I'm trying to forget about it." Jonghyun sighs. "Even though you're usually busy, I've gotten used to having you around, you know? I don’t know what I’ll do with myself."

"Yeah," Jinki agrees in a quiet mumble. The excited buzz that had carried between them dampens, and Jinki watches glumly as Jonghyun traces his eyes absently around the restaurant. The pessimistic part of him is already convinced that leaving will put Jonghyun in the perfect position to find a girlfriend. Spending nearly a year away from home for their new Japanese promotions would be hard enough without that worry hanging over his head.

Thankfully, Jonghyun cuts the silence short. "Come on, let's not make this sad just because of what will come after -- you brought good news. Your first concert! Am I going to have to fight for tickets, or are you going to get me some?"

Jinki tilts his head, confused. "Tickets...for the concert in Japan?"

"I can afford to go," Jonghyun says with a shrug. "I'll just fly out and book a hotel for the weekend. Unless you'd rather me not?"

"No, it's not that. We're just having Seoul concerts a few days later, and those would be easier for you to get to."

"But the one in Japan is special, isn't it?" Jonghyun grins. "I figured you'd be having one here too, but I'd rather go to your first."

Jinki smiles. He doesn't want to encourage Jonghyun to spend that kind of money, but he's having a hard time hiding that he's pleased. "You're sure, hyung?"

"I'm really sure." Jonghyun reaches over the table to squeeze his shoulder. "Besides, I have a new reputation as a fan to maintain."

Jinki raises an eyebrow. "You're really getting invested in that, huh?"

"Of course," Jonghyun says. He leans forward, looking around the near-empty bar before he switches his voice to a dramatic whisper. "So, about getting a ticket..."

"I'll get you one, I promise." Jinki pushes him back with a wide grin. "You'll just have to worry about getting there."

***

Exhaustion weighs on Jinki’s bones the moment he opens his eyes to his blaring phone alarm. His knees are still protesting from the test of their stage entrance, and his arms are sore from the fall he had to break when someone had left a cord in a dark corner of the stage -- but it's not enough to keep him buried under the covers. The excitement of the upcoming concert takes the edge off his aches, and the knowledge that Jonghyun would be meeting him that morning has him jump out of bed to claim the shower before Kibum can even grab his toiletry bag.

After a quick rinse-off, Jinki rushes through drying his hair and doesn’t bother to style it with more than a brief comb-through. That would be taken care of by professionals later, anyways, and he doesn’t want to missing a minute with Jonghyun. He needs to make the most of the time he has left with Jonghyun before the months where his schedule will force them apart.

Jinki takes the elevator down the ground floor and steals a bench in the lobby. His leg bounces impatiently as he waits. A variety of guests filter in and out from the doors at the entrance, smiles and travel-worn frowns peaking out over their high collars and bundled scarfs that protect them from the chilly weather. Gusts of wind slip inside to his seat on the bench, and he shivers, readjusting his jacket as he peers out at the crowds. Jonghyun had said he'd get here about now...

A familiar leather jacket catches his eye, and he stands up, squinting through the small crowd at the entrance until he recognizes Jonghyun. When their eyes meet, Jonghyun’s lips pull into a grin. He pushes through the crowd, rushing meet Jinki at the bench, and stops just in front of him to catch his breath. "See? Told you I'd make it."

"I never doubted that you’d show."  Jinki pulls Jonghyun into a hug. When he starts to pull back, he sees that the bags under Jonghyun's eyes are deeper than ever, and he can’t resist chastising him. "You didn't sleep at all, did you, hyung? You just stayed up all night before your flight."

Jonghyun shrugs. "I'll have plenty of time to sleep today while you're busy with rehearsals. I love Tokyo, but I've been here enough that I don't need to do sightseeing anymore."

"If you say so," Jinki says. He narrows his eyes when Jonghyun covers a yawn against his shoulder before stepping out of his arms. "...Just try not to fall asleep over breakfast, alright?"

"I won't, trust me! I'm starving. And I'm craving pancakes." Jonghyun fixes his bag over his shoulder and peers around the lobby. "Do you know where the restaurant is? They should have pancakes there...I did some research on the trip over."

"Yeah, we ate there last night -- I'll lead you there," Jinki says, eager to get out of the crowded lobby and sit so they can talk properly. Grabbing Jonghyun by the elbow, he steers him towards the restaurant, keeping his head down when they weave around the gathering bundle of travelers by the check out desk. He'd been so preoccupied with the thought of meeting Jonghyun he'd forgotten how public a hotel lobby could be, and he doesn't want to risk running into a group of fans without a translator to turn them away kindly.

Thankfully, they reach the restaurant without interference, and Jinki greets the waitress with his name and the time of the reservation he had booked last night.

"Wow, you planned ahead." Jonghyun's eyes crinkle in amusement, and he nods at where Jinki's fingers are still wrapped around his sleeve. "That excited to have me here, huh?"

Jinki snaps his hand back quickly, but can’t fight the flush that blooms on his cheeks. He doesn’t know why, but something about seeing Jonghyun in a new place is making it harder to keep his feelings in check and his hands to himself. His balance is thrown off, and in the lobby of the foreign hotel, the only tether to his usual life in Seoul is the pleasant buzz in his chest when he looks at Jonghyun. It's hard not to cling to that.

Now overly conscious of his movements, Jinki makes sure to leave extra space behind Jonghyun when he follows him to their seats. Jonghyun is his friend, and nothing more, so he needs to act like it -- he doesn't have liquor as an excuse this time, and he doesn’t want to ruin the memories of his first concert for a feeling he's already gotten used to ignoring.

But at the first smile Jonghyun gives him from across the table, Jinki's resolve weakens, and he smiles back despite the pinch it causes his heart.

After the waitress takes their orders, he places his hand near Jonghyun's to make sure he has his attention. "Thank you for coming to our concert. You know I wouldn't mind if you went to the one in Seoul instead, but you still came all this way...it means a lot."

"I wouldn't want to miss your group's first solo concert, Jinki-yah. It's worth it to me." Jonghyun leans forward and raises a brow. "And besides, I’ve heard rumors that you'll be singing some of my songs."

Jinki huffs and props up in front of his face to keep Jonghyun from reading his expression. "I'm not telling you anything, hyung. I want all the songs to be a surprise -- it'll be more exciting that way."

With a single finger, Jonghyun reaches across the table and tips down the front of Jinki's menu to stare at him until he's forced to look away to keep from laughing. Jonghyun grins victoriously. "Yeah, I can tell you're doing a song or two of mine. You're horrible at keeping things a secret."

"I’d say I’m good at it, actually." Jinki snaps his menu back up to hide his smile. Though Jonghyun probably expects that them to do one of the ballads he wrote for their last album -- and they were -- he probably wouldn't expect Jinki's solo song to be a cover of a song he wrote for a different artist years ago. That was going to be a surprise, he's sure.

The waitress returns a short moment later with their drinks and pancakes, and Jonghyun thanks her briefly. "How are you enjoying Japan? Are all the concert preparations going well?"

"We haven't really gotten to see much of Japan yet, we’re too busy," Jinki says. "And rehearsals are exhausting, but I’m not really noticing it as much as I thought I would. I'm too excited we're finally having a concert. I'm more bothered at spending Christmas night alone for another year...they always plan things right around it. I’d like to at least go see some lights or get a cake."

"You won't be alone though, right?" Jonghyun asks, plopping the strawberry perched atop his pancake into his mouth. "You'll probably still be rehearsing with your members."

"Yeah, I guess." Jinki frowns as he drenches his pancake in syrup. "But that's pretty much the same thing as spending it alone, you know?"

Jonghyun snickers. "Really? Spending Christmas with four handsome men can't be that bad, can it?"

Jinki freezes with his fork in his mouth. He stares at Jonghyun, then glances away, trying not to look uncomfortable as he hurries to finish chewing. It’s a joke, he knows -- Jonghyun had laughed while saying it -- but his pulse is still racing at the mere possibility that some part of him had given his sexuality away.

"Sorry, that was a bad joke, wasn’t it?” Jonghyun covers his mouth with his hand and clears his throat. “I shouldn’t try and be funny when I'm really tired. And the last person I talked to was my sister, and you know I have no filter around her."

"It's fine." Jinki shrugs, trying not to read too much into the wording of Jonghyun's apology. “I'm not offended."

Jonghyun looks up from his plate, stare suddenly serious. "You're really not?"

"Not at all." Jinki fiddles with his napkin in his lap to avoid Jonghyun's gaze. It's irrational, he knows, but he's afraid if Jonghyun looks at him for too long he'll realize the flush on the back of his neck is because the joke hit a little too close to home. Everything about the way Jonghyun had said his last question made it sound like a test.

Jinki fumbles for a change of subject. "So, hyung...you're heading back to Seoul right after the concert?"

"Yeah, the morning after." Jonghyun sighs. "I won't be able to go to your concert there, unfortunately. It cuts too close to Blue Night, and we're doing a New Year's special, and I have to do it live."

"That's fine, hyung. You coming here is more than enough. But you're at least coming to the afterparty, right?"

Jonghyun blinks. "Am I allowed to?"

"Of course you are! I’m inviting you." Jinki smiles. "I already told them I'd have a friend coming. My parents are going to the Seoul concert, so it really isn't a problem."

"I'll be there, then.” Jonghyun grins. “I can't stay too late, but I don't want to miss seeing you all excited after your concert...I'm sure that'll be fun."

***

Somehow, the lights in the hallways backstage feel brighter than the ones they had performed under. Jinki blinks away his last image of the crowd as he tries to adjust to the glaring white walls and drags a sniffling Kibum along with him back to the dressing room. 

After bowing at a dozen staff members, they finally reach the quiet room, and Jinki pulls the rag out of his pocket to dab at the the tears still on Kibum’s cheeks. "You going to be alright, Kibum? Don't cry too hard, we have to sing again in a few days."

"I'm fine...just happy we made it here." Kibum laughs and wipes at his eyes. "Shit, I hate crying like this."

"We deserve to get a little teary." Jinki squeezes his shoulder. "Better to get it out now than when we're celebrating."

"Yeah. I still can't believe we--" Kibum yelps when Minho and Jino suddenly surge up behind him with linked arms and grapple him until he's forced into the middle of their hug. With little luck, he tries to squirm out of it, but only manages to pop his head up from between them with a scowl. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You're crying so much, we wanted to comfort you." Kibum's expression softens slightly, and Minho lets him go with a grin. "We're going to sneak out the back soon with the managers. They already reserved that restaurant for us, so we just have to get in the van."

"It's gonna be great." Jino swings out of their huddle, but keeps one arm around Minho's waist. "We're going to drink so much."

"Hopefully." Jinki pulls out his phone and immediately pulls up his chat with Jonghyun. "We’re going to the same restaurant they were talking about last night, right? I wanted to invite Jonghyun along with us."

"Yeah, it's that one." Jino leans towards Jinki's phone to try and get a peak of his screen, but gives up when Jinki tilts it away. He sighs. "I still can't believe he came out all the way to Japan for our show, even if we are doing some of his songs. How'd you get him to do that?"

"You know we're friends...it’s not like I had to drag him here or anything," Jinki says, trying not to flush. "Working with SM just opened up a lot of opportunities for him, so probably means a lot to him that we were doing his songs live."

"Well, we'll sing them again for him once we're drunk. He'll never get a show like that in our concerts."

Jinki rolls his eyes, choosing to ignore that comment when he hears a ping from his phone to let him know that Jonghyun has responded. With the verification that Jonghyun will meet him there shortly, he tucks his phone away and allows the other members to drag him away to the van. 

As the adrenaline of their concert fades from his system on the ride to the restaurant, his nerves take over, and a part of him begins to worry that Jonghyun hadn’t yet given his opinion of the concert for a reason. What if he didn’t like the arrangement they’d used of his songs? Or thought Jinki breathed in the wrong parts? Or that his voice was too warm for the old song he’d chosen? 

By the time they arrive, Jinki’s palms are sweating, and he grabs the first seat he sees that will give him a good view of the entrance. Taemin sits next to him and chatters away, apparently not noticing Jinki’s nerves or the fact he keeps one eye on the door, but his presence is comforting enough that when Jonghyun finally arrives, Jinki manages to greet him with a smile.

Jonghyun pulls off his hat and gives him a small wave, then circles his way around the table to say hello to the other members and staff. After finishing his last introduction, he pushes his way back to Jinki to squeeze into the seat across him. "Looks like everyone already got started with the drinking, huh?"

"Most of us, yeah." Jinki reaches for the nearest bottle. "You want me to pour you one, hyung?"

"Sure, thanks." Jonghyun unwraps his scarf and pulls off his jacket. "Hopefully it'll warm me up. It’s about to snow outside, I can feel it."

"It'll help." Jinki keeps his eyes on the cup as he pours out the drink, still nervous -- Jonghyun still hasn't said a word about the concert. When Jonghyun’s fingers brush against his as he takes the cup, his stomach does an extra flip, and he finally meets Jonghyun’s eyes with a heated flush across his cheeks.

"Sorry for not talking about the concert yet, I wanted to wait to see you in person--" Jonghyun turns his head to take the drink in one quick swallow, then sets down the empty cup and grins widely. "You were amazing. The whole concert was incredible. I might have cried a little, at the end...and when you did my song. You didn't warn me about that."

Jinki shrugs, trying to play it off, and refills his glass for him. "I figured you'd know, since it was one of the ballads, and you already guessed that we’d be doing it."

"I expected you to sing one of my songs from the last album, yeah -- and you did really well at that -- but you know I mean the one you did for your solo. Why didn’t you tell me?"

"Oh, that one..." Jinki bites his lip. He's been anxious to hear Jonghyun's reaction to that one the most. "Did I pull it off well?"

"I loved it." Jonghyun beams at him. "I really never imagined you singing Love Belt, since I wrote it before I thought I had a shot at working with SM artists, but it was a perfect fit for your voice. You should have asked me before using it, though."

"Why? Are you going to sue me for it, hyung?" Jinki teases.

Jonghyun laughs. "No, of course not. I'm honored you did it. I just wish you had given me the chance to make a special arrangement for you.”

"Next time, maybe?"  Jinki smiles, heart fluttering when their gazes lock, but his attention bounces quickly back to the table when he sees his drink move. He frowns at the hand on the glass, recognizing it as Taemin’s, and pushes it back.  "Really, Taemin? You're going to steal my drink while I’m distracted?"

"If you're not going to drink it, I don't see why I can't," Taemin says. "You let me drink back at home sometimes."

"Yeah, but that's different -- we’re in a different country right now. I don't want to start our Japanese debut with a drinking scandal," Jinki says, fully aware that Jonghyun's watching the exchange. He's not sure if the amused smile Jonghyun's wearing is for him, or for Taemin, but seeing it softens him up -- it probably wouldn’t hurt if he let Taemin drink a little.

Jinki sighs and pushes the glass a subtle inch over towards Taemin. "I changed my mind -- you can have some. Just don’t make yourself sick."

"I won't." Taemin grabs the glass with a grin. After turning his head to drink, he sets the now-empty glass on the table with a loud clink and coughs, mouth staying open as his face puckers from the bitter taste.

When Jonghyun laughs, Jinki grimaces, already regretting his decision. "Please don’t drink at that rate. You’ll definitely get sick."

"I'm just trying to catch up with everyone else." Taemin huffs. "I drink almost as well as you do."

Jinki rolls his eyes, but decides not to dignify that with a response. He doesn't want to open up a chance for Jonghyun to talk about the times he hasn't handled his liquor as well as he'd promised. As if reading his thoughts, Jonghyun smiles at him knowingly from across the table and pushes his own glass towards Taemin. "Here, you can have mine too. I just realized I probably shouldn’t have much since I have an early flight tomorrow."

Taemin smiles, voice as polite as he can seem as he snatches up the glass before Jonghyun can change his mind. "Thank you, Jonghyun-ssi."

Jonghyun shakes his head. “You don’t need to be formal, since I’m close to Jinki. You can call me hyung."

A spike of jealousy stabs at Jinki’s gut. He pushes his foot against Jonghyun's under the table. "Hyung, do you want to go outside?"

A shout as Minho bests yet another manager at arm-wrestling snaps Jonghyun's attention away from him just as he blurts out his question. He blinks widely, then turns back to Jinki with an apologetic smile on his lips. "Sorry, what were you saying? It's a bit hard to hear."

Jinki flushes. Somehow having to repeat himself makes asking Jonghyun for a moment alone seem more serious than he had meant it to be. "I was wondering if you want to head outside for a bit? I know it's pretty loud in here, and I kind of want to see the city..."

"That sounds good." Jonghyun looks at him warmly and reaches back to grab his jacket. "A walk would be nice, and we can grab some street food. I'll slip out ahead of you."

Nodding in agreement, Jinki mumbles an excuse about the restroom to his manager and grabs his own jacket and scarf. Bundling them until he can hide them behind his back, he waits for the clamor on the other end of the table to distract the last of their managers before slipping outside.

When Jinki opens the door and steps outside, Jonghyun looks up from tugging on his gloves. "Not bringing anyone else?"

"No..." Jinki trails off shyly and begins to put on his jacket. "I kind of wanted some time alone."

Jonghyun laughs and steps away from entrance, putting them out of view from the inside. "A little tired of your members?"

"A bit, and I'll be stuck with them for the next few months." Jinki grins guiltily. "I've had enough of them in the past few days alone.”

"I can imagine, with rehearsals and everything. But it paid off, didn’t it? Your concert was incredible."

"You've said that already." Jinki laughs laughs as he pulls up his face mask.

"It's worth repeating." Jonghyun begins to walk, leading the way down the street towards a long line of food stalls. "It was really nice to hear you all sing the song I wrote live."

"You've said that already too, when we were in the restaurant with Taemin."

"Yeah, well -- I wrote it with your voice in mind, and you're my friend. So it means a little more just saying it to you."

Jinki stops in the middle of the sidewalk. "You wrote it for my voice?"

"I mean -- I considered the other members too," Jonghyun waves his hands defensively as he corrects his statement. "But you have a really distinct color to your voice, you know? It makes sense to focus on that when composing. Haven't I said that before?"

"Kind of, I guess," Jinki mumbles. "Maybe I'm just processing it differently because I'm drunk..."

Jonghyun laughs and wraps an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him tight enough for Jinki to feel it even through the thick wool of his jacket. "I know you're not that drunk, Jinki-yah -- you didn’t drink at all after I got there, and your tolerance is way too high for you have gotten drunk before I did."

“Maybe.” Jinki leans into the warmth of the contact just before Jonghyun lets go and sighs. He wishes he had gotten to drink more before they left, but he didn't trust himself to mix post-concert adrenaline and alcohol around Jonghyun -- considering they were alone now, he probably would have wound up doing something stupid.

"Is there anything you want to try?”  Jonghyun says, interrupting his thoughts. “I'll buy you something, since your managers covered all the food in the restaurant. I think you'll really like yakitori."

"Funny, hyung." Jinki rolls his eyes. "I know that's chicken."

"Well, do you want it or not?"

Jinki bites his lip and looks into the small little alley. Even out here, he can smell the food, which is more than tempting -- he'd only managed to get down small one plate of appetizers at the bar before he had jumped at the chance to sneak away with Jonghyun.

Jonghyun already looks triumphant before he opens his mouth, and Jinki sighs, knowing he's only adding to the long list of times he's chosen his favorite food over trying anything radically new. "That sounds good, hyung. You lead the way."

"I thought so." Jonghyun bumps his shoulder against Jinki's before stepping into the alleyway. As he walks ahead, he hums the last song from the concert, and there’s a small smile on his lips when he ends it just as they arrive to the food stall.

Inside the tarped entrance, there's not much room for space between them. The heat from the grill makes Jinki sweat under his bundled clothing the moment they step inside, but it's a welcome relief from the chill of outdoors. Jonghyun orders for them both smoothly in Japanese and pays, nodding politely and passing over his change when the cook hands them their plates.

Jinki waits until Jonghyun passes him the skewers to switch back to Korean. "You speak Japanese, hyung?"

"Just enough to get around," Jonghyun says, smiling widely at Jinki's shocked expression and picks up a skewer for himself and pulls a small piece of the chicken from the skewer with his teeth. "I’m not fluent enough to write lyrics in Japanese, but I can sell my songs here."

"You could have helped me with some of it before I came here. You know how bad I am with languages..."

Jonghyun laughs, covering his mouth. "Would you really want to spend our time doing that? Instead of drinking and everything else?"

"I guess not," Jinki admits. He pouts until Jonghyun gives a nudge that lingers long enough to feel more like he’s being leaned on.

His heart flutters light in his chest when Jonghyun finally pulls back to smile at him. He doesn't think Jonghyun had anything to drink -- he hadn't seen him order a single beer -- but this is touchier than he usually is sober, and it only makes him want more. Jinki takes advantage of the cramped space to press their knees together under the counter as they finish off their meal, and Jonghyun seems to accept that, because there’s a hand on his knee a minute later that feels warm enough to burn his skin all the way up to his cheeks.

There's no excuse to linger after their plates are taken back from them, but Jinki is reluctant to give up the contact. He keeps himself close to Jonghyun when they finally squeeze out of the stall and back into the alley, and his fingers dance nervously in his pocket when they turn onto the street and he stays just as close, shoulder half-brushing against Jonghyun with every step. He waits for a question, or for Jonghyun to move into the new space in the sidewalk, but all he gets is shy smile that strikes him quiet as they continue to back out to the street.

Neither of them mention heading back. Jonghyun walks them in circles around the same two blocks, humming an unfamiliar melody that Jinki assumes is a work in progress. There’s words stuck in Jinki’s throat -- words he can’t say, like how Jonghyun’s hair looks beautiful in the mix of moon and street lights, and words he can, like how much he’ll miss him and how he’ll text him often -- but there’s not nearly enough need to express them to force them past his throat.

All they'll have over the next few months is talking to each other, and what he'll miss the most is the simple presence of Jonghyun besides him. He has that now, and he doesn’t want to disturb it.

When a snowflake lands on his nose, leaving it cold and wet, Jinki stops. He reaches up to feel his hat, yanking his hand away when he feels that some of the knit is already damp. "How long has it been snowing? I somehow didn't realize..."

"Damn, is it? I wanted to stay out a little more." Jonghyun looks up at the sky and sighs. "I guess we should take you back to the restaurant, then...I don't want you getting sick before the Seoul concerts."

Jinki buries his face down in his scarf, hiding a frown. He wants to argue that he'll be fine, but he already knows he wouldn't win -- Jonghyun is too much of a worrier to let him risk his voice for a few extra minutes together. He exhales loudly in annoyance. "Do you remember the way back?"

"Yeah, I led us around the same routes for a reason," Jonghyun says. "I know how easily I can get lost."

They head backwards along the same path they’d been traced several times now, until Jonghyun changes a single turn to bring them back to the restaurant.

“Here it is.” Jonghyun says. He pulls his phone out his pocket and dials a number. "You can head inside, I'm calling a cab to take me back to my hotel. It shouldn’t be too long of a wait."

"No, I don't want you waiting out here alone," Jinki says. He crosses his arms and joins Jonghyun by the curbside. "It’s too late for me to just leave you here."

Jonghyun opens his mouth to protest, but decides against it when the service he’d been calling finally picks up. After giving his current location and the name of his hotel, he hangs up the phone and sighs. "If you insist on staying with me, I won’t stop you. Just go inside if your throat starts hurting, okay?."

"Sure, hyung," Jinki agrees, attention already on the street.

At every cab that passes, Jinki’s heart clenches, expecting each to be the one that will take Jonghyun away from him for the night. When he finally takes his eyes away from the traffic to glance at Jonghyun, he freezes, caught off guard.

There’s an expectant look to Jonghyun. Judging by the fact his eyes didn’t have to move at all to meet Jinki’s, he must have already been staring, and his lips are pursed, hands shoved fully into his pockets as he blinks away the snow dusting in his eyelashes.

He smiles warmly, half-shy, and Jinki smiles back. Jinki’s stomach flutters with hope -- he’s never seen Jonghyun smile quite like that before -- but it twists into a bitter knot before he can even think to do something with the emotion.

He tears his eyes away, biting his lip as he tries to gather himself again.

If he were a girl, he wouldn't hesitate to confess to Jonghyun, and he's even considering it still -- it's heavy on his tongue, held back only by a fear of what he might lose if he says them -- but he can’t say a thing.

He forces himself to meet Jonghyun’s eyes again, and this time, the smile Jonghyun gives him is stiff.

Jinki’s heart tightens again, and he tries to console himself with what he already has. At least he can enjoy the longing. At least he’s able to stand two-feet away from the man that makes him consider the possibility of risking his career.

At least he doesn’t have to worry about rejected, since he’ll never try.

He’s pulled away from his thoughts when Jonghyun inhales sharply and rocks back on his heels. "So, uh -- how long till I see you again?"

"We'll be back for our Seoul concerts, and I'm staying with my family for a bit." Jinki says. He looks down at Jonghyun's feet as he kicks them against the sidewalk. "But then we have recordings, and photoshoots, and interviews...a bunch of performances, too. It's kind of like we’re debuting all over again, so we’ll be busy."

“Ah.” Jonghyun bites his lip. "It'll really be a while till you’re back then, huh?"

Jinki nods. He's tried not to think about it or put it into numbers -- he hasn’t wanted to imagine going so long without seeing Jonghyun in person, and he hasn’t wanted to imagine what Jonghyun might do with his time instead -- but it really will be months.

A taxi pulls up besides the curb. Jinki’s heart stops. And suddenly, there’s arms around him, and he’s being squeezed from all sides as Jonghyun wraps around him in a tight embrace.

"You keep reading, alright? Don't forget the books I brought you. I’ll send you more if you get through them."

Jinki laughs, grinning wide to keep himself from tearing up. "Yes, teacher."

"Don't be a smart ass," Jonghyun grumbles. He pulls back and forces out a smile as his hands linger on Jinki’s arms. "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too," Jinki chokes out. He doesn’t trust himself with more words when Jonghyun's eyes are already brimming.

Jonghyun lets go, and steps into the open door of the cab.

"It'll only be a few months," Jinki says, hoping to lift the heaviness already weighing down on his chest.

"Yeah." Jonghyun nods and climbs into the back of the cab, now avoiding Jinki's eyes. He dabs at his own with the sleeve that peeks through the end of his jacket.  "Good luck with your concerts and your Japanese debut, Jinki-yah."

“Thanks."

The door of the cab snaps shut. Jinki bites his lip and steps back. The car takes off in an instant, and he watches the red lights of the cab with a hole in his chest until it disappears out of view.