#man i rlly need some relationship adivce--

[whimsiboy]

hey relationship side of tumblr,, i need some help---

ok so, this happened a few days ago (around 2-3 days) but it's still on my mind and i'm still iffy about it

ok so, a little explanation beforehand, i am a genderfluid abro person but usually just say i'm enby and pan (those are what i would consider my main gender/sexuality) and my bf is a cishet man,

a couple days ago, me and my bf were hanging out with some mutual friends, a majority of my friends including the friend group me and my bf share is all cishet men that are really big allies, and randomly, during a conversation about siblings, my bf said that he was deliberately misgendering his AFAB enby sibling because his sibling apparently hates him, when i told him that was messed up, disrespectful, and transphobic, he tried to defend himself by saying that his sibling would do the same to him if the roles were reverse and that it was a joke, during the conversation he was repeatedly calling his sibling "she" and "sister" as if his sibling was not enby at all, the convo happened nearing the end of lunch break at school so it fizzled out and got forgotten when we had to go our separate ways for our classes, but it's been on my mind. my bf is my biggest ally, when i came out to him as enby he switched over to using they/them as if he always had, and always corrects people who misgender me since i have social anxiety and fear being seen as rude for correcting people who misgender me. nearing the end of the conversation, i related my bf calling the transphobia a joke to saying if someone was doing fatphobia and calling plus-sized people really mean names and then said it was a joke trying to get off scott free because my bf would be considered a plus-sized person, he said that was fair then we went to our classes.

me and my bf have been dating for over half a year (around 7-9 months, i forget) and i really love him so i don't wanna break up with him but this really threw me off and idk what to do.

edit: me and my bf have never really had an argument or argument-type thing before because me and him are both really respectful with each other and try to stay away from arguments by talking out our problems, which is really what happened here but not exactly