#maybe I scared everyone off with my knowledge of the use of urine in pre-industrial textile manufacture

[bywandandsword]

I don't know how it is with other people, but are you ever in an environment where, like, no one is visibly glad to see you when you walk in or engages you in conversation unprompted? That's like, 90% of my interactions with the people that I see daily, and I don't know if it's normal for everyone, but for me it feels incredibly isolating. It's not that everyone isn't nice, they're pleasant enough when engaging with small talk and no one is acting like they hate me or anything. But I just feel like if I wasn't there no one would notice or care. There's only one girl in my cohort that seems happy to see me and who'll talk with me outside of class. I value that so much. As soon as class ends everyone else just sort of stops noticing me, and I don't know why, or what I can do about it. I mean, I try to socialize, but I always get the feeling like I'm intruding. One guy straight up turned his back to me this week even though it was a three-way conversation

Part of me is like, they don't know what they're missing out on. I'm clever, funny, and chockablock full of obscure knowledge and skills. But it doesn't stop how gd lonely I feel here