#maybe i'm just easy to be marketed to 🤔

[therewithinthestars]

ok but what is this "in every universe" thing i have going on with excal/umbra/arthur tho, bcs how did they trick me into simping over the same character three different times

[prolix-yuy]

Request for your celebration:

🤗💞 Congrats againnnn!! 💞🎉😘

Ok so I have two, I'm not asking for both whatsoever.. I just wanted to throw them out there cause they came to me when I was reading through the stuff to choose from.. 😆🤗

Immortality: I was thinking Max Phillips. Since ya know he's a vampire and such.. I figured I'd suggest him since you haven't done anything for him yet, unless you got something planned.. If so completely ignore me asking for him.. 😆

The idea: I don't really know.. Only reason is, is because you do so so amazing with everyone and I've loved your iron Chef lil stories.. And I think you'd do awesome with him. A loose idea that just came to me, lol- he moves into a new town and stumbles into reader/oc and they click right away. And he is cute but cocky as always about wanting to change her cause he's already so in love with her.. Idk, you don't have to use that idea or Max, lol. 💞

Reunion: maybe Whiskey or ooo the thief from the wine commercial.. 🤔 ( don't mind the ooo part, it just came to me as I was thinking.. 😆🙈 )

With Jack, he has a childhood friend or love that they loose touch because he has to move away to go to training for statesmen. Then he comes back and sees how amazing she looks and falls in love and all that cuteness.

With the thief, he's had a partner in crime for the first few years of his thieving career, then one of them has to move or is forced to go away.. And they come back all these years later, and see how great the other is doing.. Wants to reconnect and they do, then fall in love & such.

You can use whatever you want from this. Can change around whatever or whoever goes with what idea. This is just some idea crumbs I'm gifting you, lol. 💞😆 I trust you completely, lol. 💞

Lotus these are fantastic asks! I went back and forth on what to do, but then I got a little inkling of an interesting story. Maybe not exactly what you asked for, but something I thought you'd enjoy. Plus I just watched Bloodsucking Bastards (which was SO MUCH FUN I had a blast!) and the inspiration vampire bit hard.

Negotiations

Pairing: Max Phillips x F!Reader

Summary: Max Phillips never found marketing to be all that helpful. Hell, running an ad on Facebook was easy enough. But then you walked in the door and he knew he had to have you, in all the ways he could.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: T, descriptions of male and female bodies, some fantasizing and suggestive themes. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ MINORS DNI.

Notes: I got a crazy idea thinking about Max in an office setting that set off a chain reaction and now we're here. Thank you to the Discord besties for helping me flesh out some of the details. Enjoy!

He’s due for a drink when he first meets you, and that’s why, he tells himself, he smiled so widely, shook your hand a little longer than he meant to, and shamelessly let his eyes roam your blazer and matching skirt.

Because you smell absolutely delicious.

The HR rep droning next to him is talking, something something “marketing” something else “strategist,” he couldn’t care less but he nods like he’s listening. You smile, eyes darting between them, and he can almost feel your pulse hammering away next to your sensible neckline. He excuses himself to his office to get a quick sip in, blanching at turning the mailroom clerk who always smells faintly of onions when your hot blood is so close, so tantalizing.

Max Phillips has to have you, even just the tiniest taste. He isn’t sure what it is - do you have a rare blood type? Some exotic heritage? The perfect cocktail of supplements that makes you mouthwatering? He doesn’t know, but definitely intends to find out.

At first that's all it is, inter-office flirtations that never go further than a comment or a carefully worded question. He’ll catch you in the hall - “Marketing,” he’ll say with a nod and overly-serious voice, to which you'll roll your eyes and answer, “Sales,” in much the same way - and try to get you to stop for a moment. Most times you have places to go, strategy meetings and the like, but he's planting the seeds. As enjoyable as getting high off your scent is, he basks in the hunt just as much.

He syncs up your lunch breaks to catch you off guard, encroaching on the safe zone of the break room. The first few times people tried to come in and interrupt his careful courtship he glared at them so hard they almost swallowed their own tongues. Lunches had been uninterrupted since then.

You most likely suspect his intentions to woo you, keeping your distance for a time, but the lunch breaks are an innocent way for him to creep closer. Like a panther stalking through the underbrush, Max compliments your outfits, asks you about your work, and tries his damnedest to make you feel like the only person he sees when you walk in a room.

“Of course you’d think we’re just a cost center, your heads are so inflated I’m surprised they haven’t widened the doors,” you say over your eighth (ninth?) lunch break together while Max pretends to pick at a salad. Neither of you ever seem to eat much, preferring the pace of conversation you set - fast, ricocheting, frenetic. Plus Max has tastier things on his mind, like the soft swell of your breast peeking through the button of your blouse. He normally prefers the quick and easy method of the neck, but if he could sample you from there…well, he’d have other problems to take care of in that case.

“Well once you can tie any of your little ‘campaigns’ to some real dollars I’ll admit marketing is worth keeping around.” His tone is playful but Max studies your reaction. You smile ruefully, lacquered fingernails scraping along the shiny red skin of your apple, otherwise untouched.

“If I ever got the Max Phillips to admit marketing is useful, I’d faint.” Max tries to slide his eyes to you coyly but they dart up instead, a smile widening on his face.

“Oh yeah? Let’s up the stakes then. If you make us a sale, any amount of money, with one of your tactics in the next month, I will admit marketing is useful. But if you fail, I get to take you out to Dorne’s for dinner. And you’ll accept.” He knows he’s showing his hand too soon, rookie mistake, you gotta bring the catch in slowly, drag it out longer, tease it…

“Okay Max, that’s a deal. Shake on it?” you say, holding out your hand. Max notices a tiny tremor in it, a sparkle of excitement in your eyes. He takes your hand into his larger one, your grip firm, grounding.

It doesn’t matter to Max whether or not you win, just that he's all the closer to getting his mouth, and teeth, on you. 

He pays more attention to what’s going on in your department that month. Between the lunch visits where he tries to ascertain how it’s going (you’re tight-lipped) and his casual check-ins with sales leads (they don’t get why he cares about marketing and not sales numbers), he’s driving himself insane. He gets a few bites in before the end of the month to even out his mood, but none of them spark in his belly the way you do.

As the deadline nears, Max notices you staying a little later, blue light illuminating your face in the darkness of your office. He watches in shadow, the office empty except for the two of you. Your chin in your hand as your eyes skim the screen. The way the light spills between your breasts and dances along your collarbone. The attractive curve of your arms and legs, twisted or tapping against something as he sees the fatigue setting in. Only a thin pane of glass and darkness separates you, and the overwhelming urge to take and feed and breed surges through Max’s body. He palms his cock and finds it achingly hard, a thin choked gasp escaping his mouth.

At that moment your eyes flick up, and Max swears they land on him. It’s not possible, he’s shrouded in darkness deeper than a human eye can perceive, yet you hold your gaze and it’s eerily close. Your lips quirk up into a smile, and mouth, “Hello Max.”

He flees.

He’s not proud of it, but even the notion that you, a mortal, insignificant in any way could catch him even when he’s employed his very unique skills casts doubt over him. Has he lost his touch? Is this strange obsession making him careless? When he’s out of the building he chastises himself. You couldn’t have seen him, must have been a lucky (or unlucky) coincidence that you mouthed his name.

The tightness in his pants worsens thinking of your lips parting over the short syllables.

The next day Max walks in with a bounce in his step, however feigned it might be, and is met with an abundance of excitement. Cocking his brow and sauntering into the break room, the noise seems to be centered around you.

“I don’t think that's happened since we started!”

“Just some targeted ads, plus Marketo gathering some good leads, and of course our partnership with sales.” Max hears your voice, light and happy, as he works his way into the gaggle of warm-bloods.

“What are we celebrating?” he asks innocently, half the room shrinking away and shushing at his presence. You’re seated at the break table, a folder open in front of you. When Max makes his way closer you tap your manicured finger against the printout.

“Paid social ad with a link to a free trial led to an unsolicited call and, wouldn’t you know it, they made a decision on the spot. First marketing-led sale in company history,” you reply smugly. There on the page is a dollar amount, and it’s not insignificant. One look into your eyes, bright with accomplishment, makes everyone else fade around him. In that moment he wants nothing more than to tell you he’s impressed, proud even. Then he wants to capture your lips, smear your lipstick against his greedy mouth, and spread you out on the table. To feast or to fuck, he’s not sure which, but if his blood could still pump it would be roaring in his ears.

“Boss? We were going to go out for a drink after work to celebrate, you’re…more than welcome,” a timid voice says behind Max, but he’s still trying to pull himself back and away from the triumph in your eyes. He finally does one of those little coughs and straightens back up.

“No, that’s all right, I’ve got other plans,” he says, a knowing look cast in your direction. Your smirk softens, a slight nod sent in his direction. “Good work Marketing, I’ll have to admit…you’ve proven yourself useful.”

As the words leave his lips a strange sort of shiver runs up his back, a tickle along his tongue reminiscent of spice lingering. His head lightens for a moment before coming back to himself, blinking quickly and checking to see if anyone noticed. They’re all filing out or preoccupied with chatting. Only you are still watching him, and with a flutter of your lashes you take in a deep breath.

And Max watches you change.

It’s subtle, nothing the warm-bloods notice, but the glow in your cheeks heightens, your hair gaining additional luster and something flashes in your eyes triumphant. It’s gone in a breath, you standing and gathering your folder and passing Max with a nod and a wink.

“Feels nice to get a big win,” you murmur as you pass, and Max is left contemplating who won what here, because it seems like you gained a much greater prize. 

Max tries to occupy himself during the day, but his eyes keep sliding to the clock, waiting for the 5pm bailout as everyone heads to the bar. He counts five extra minutes and exits, and it’s no surprise that you’re still at your desk while everyone else is celebrating. A few strides have him at your office door, pushing through and shutting it behind him as you look up from your work.

“Yes?” you ask, maybe a little too innocently as Max scrutinizes your office. You put down your pen and lean back in your chair, waiting patiently until he meets your gaze.

“Are you going to be a sore loser about this? A deal’s a deal. And I’ve already cashed in.” You smile at him, a fondness he didn’t expect crinkling the corners of your eyes. But Max studied more than just business management in Romania, and he has a suspicion of what he’s looking at now. And why he’s been so drawn to you for weeks. 

“You took something I didn’t know I was giving up,” he says calmly, smoothly. Hot-headedness doesn’t benefit him here. Not when he understands his opponent now. Your face is schooled into careful contemplation, twisting in your swivel chair to regard him. 

“Doesn’t violate our deal, and I didn’t think you’d miss it. You have plenty, after all,” you chuckle, and the band in Max’s chest snaps as his assumption is confirmed. 

“I didn’t know I was making a deal with a Fae, which some could argue is a rather large omission,” Max shoots back. He expects some anger, or surprise, but instead you laugh. You goddamn laugh and Max bunches his hands into fists at his side.

“Oh Max, don’t pretend. This has nothing to do with the deal and everything to do with being deceived,” you purr, standing to stalk over to him. “After all, I was already operating at less than a full hand. Marketing can be a challenge, but I do like the glamor of it.” 

As you sweep your hand at the word glamor the facade shimmers for a brief moment. The shine of your eyes is now iridescent like the surface of a soap bubble, pupiless and radiant. Shiny translucent wings flutter so quickly in the corner of his eye that Max can barely see them, the low buzz of their vibration now reaching his ears. You reach up to smooth his lapel and the overwhelming scent of forest rot, new growth, decay and rebirth assault his senses. Shaking his head, he attempts to step back but his legs lock up. He knows before he sees the ring of mushrooms, hidden from a mortal's view, surrounding your desk.

Fairy circle.

He’s so fucked.

“I don’t suppose we can part ways and let each other be? You go forth creating your little army of vamp sales reps and I continue charming customers through the door? It seems like a perfect partnership, Max, one I hoped for from the first day.” The fresh scent of spring permeates the room, your face turned up to him. He shakes his head to clear it.

“Thought the Fae liked contracts,” he shoots back, struggling for even footing in your home turf. You shrug, leaning back against the edge of your desk.

“Some do. I have lots of family in legal, a few in sales like you. Me, I found that all boring. A quick and dirty deal over a handshake - now that's my kind of magic. Plus pride is such an intoxicating emotion, and oh so many deals are won and lost over it.” The stimulation of being in your presence causes Max to lash out, fangs baring as he reaches to capture your wrists. One hand held up to his chest stops him cold. The fairy circle is working against him.

“Now there’s no need to get rude, I thought we were having a nice time? All of our talks, our lunches together. I could tell you wanted me,” you tease, dragging a finger down the solid line of his broad chest, fingers dipping over the shirt buttons. “I imagine my glamored form smells delicious. Something about the secret always makes it sweeter.” You trail your fingers back up his chest and lightly stroke along his jawline. The muscles bulge and twist below. 

“Thought about ripping your throat out and gorging myself,” Max spits out, fighting against your restraints. He wants to run, he’s been outmatched and outplayed, but his inability to think beyond his bottom line made him miss yours, and now he’s paying for it. 

“Well we won’t be doing any of that. But I know you want me in other ways. Could practically smell your arousal last night, when you were watching me.” Max’s face heats up - you did see him, of course you did - as you guide his head down to meet yours. You brush your nose against his beautifully curved on. “Let’s put this little outburst aside and taste each other in a different way.” Your lips graze his earlobe, a light drag against his cheek. But his pride, what’s left of it since you fed, can’t let him have this.

“And what’s the deal for that, Fae? What do you need to take on while you deprive me? While you deceive me.” 

You step back, your face falling visibly. Max’s win is short lived, and nowhere near triumphant. 

“Is that what you think this is about?” you murmur. Then anger, hot as sun-baked stone glows beneath your glamor. “Did I ask for your memories? For a promise of fealty, or an impossible task? My brethren would not have been so kind. I took a sip from an overflowing cup, your limitless pride, and you call it deception.” Max feels his invisible bonds loosen as you move to the side of the desk, leaning against it and massaging your temples. As fast as the anger came it dissipates, and all Max can smell is the electricity of a storm before the first strike. 

“You fooled me,” he admits, as much as it tears into his chest to say it. “I don’t like being the last to know when a deal's rigged.”

Your smile is rueful, and a physical push against his chest. Max stumbles out of the fairy ring, strength and agency returning to him. He waits for the fury to build again, but your profile is lined with aching exhaustion, and sadness. It sucks the wind from his sails.

“You were the first one to know, Max, not the last. I had no machinations in place after the deal we made.” You pause, a hitch in your breath. “I thought…” Another breath, steadier now. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t think this was the right fit for me after all.” You turn your head to look at Max, and that desire to be close to you, to make you his, the need for you that existed behind the feeding pulls to the front.

“Wait, let’s just…” Max starts to say, but the regretful look you give him is the last thing he sees before a crackle of static and light sweeps you from your office.

The freak lightning storm fades into the background of Max’s employees’ minds, as well as their memory of you. HR sends a memo that you had to leave suddenly for a family emergency, but Max knows he drove you away. 

He tries not to dwell on it, on you. You, with the smile that makes his heart flutter. You, who challenged him with your quips and banter. You, who were so much more than he anticipated and now…he misses. 

He shouldn’t. He should chalk himself up as lucky that he didn’t make a more dangerous deal, that you only took something small and that he had plenty of. All he’d ever been told about the Fae was how cunning they were, that their mouth always spoke two languages at once and what you should never say or do.

Never make a deal.

Never desire to hold one, especially not against its wishes.

Never call upon one, even in your darkest times.

And never let one see what you desire most of all. 

It takes three weeks for Max to pull down the blue dish from his top shelf. He slowly drizzles honey into opaque milk, setting it on an open windowsill in his apartment. He then lays on his couch, back to the plate, and thinks of you.

It takes less time than he thought. That makes him smile.

“I didn’t expect you for several hours.”

The slow sip of the milk and honey lasts a moment before he hears the dish placed back on the sill. 

“Maybe I was thinking of you.”

The tightening in his chest elicits a cough, a return to composure, but he was always going to be at a disadvantage with you.

“Nice to know I still have that effect even on non-humans,” he tries to chuckle. Silence meets him.

“What do you want, Max? Your pride back? It’s practically overflowing again, you’re like a never-ending buffet of self-confidence.” He does laugh at that, letting his head thump against the couch armrest. Your shadow slinks across his floor, shimmering ever so slightly.

“I’m sorry. I was angry. Not just about the deal, but that I didn’t win.” Max shifts uncomfortably on the couch, feeling your eyes on him. This is a level of vulnerability he gives no one, and he’s showing you his belly in the most humiliating way. “I was planning to taste you, I’m not gonna lie about that, but I was also looking forward to…ah, well, to taking you out to Dorne’s. I thought you’d look nice in candlelight. And they have a killer tres leches cake. And…maybe if I played my cards right, you’d let me kiss you.” Max’s mouth finally stops. And waits. When you don’t say anything he closes his eyes and scrubs his hand over his forehead. 

“Yeah, I’ve fucked this up, you can just…” he starts to say, then two cool hands wrap around his wrists, pressing them down beside his head. His eyes fly open to find you sliding down to straddle his waist, eyes locked onto his mouth as his lips part. You're in something lighter, a flowing dress that drapes over his lap and slides over your curves as you settle on him.

“You called me and I came to hear you out,” you say, leaning down to brush your lips over his softly. “Now, you did piss me off something fierce, but I’m willing to let it go in return for something you can offer me.” The warmth of your body against his and the loosening of your fingers lets him envelope you in his arms. 

“Are you looking to make another deal?” he whispers against your skin.

“More like a challenge. I do know how much you like those.” 

He surges up to devour your lips, palming your lower back and crushing you against him. The delightful moan you plant in his mouth has him rocking against your heat recklessly.

 “What is it then?”

“Make it up to me.”

END

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. nutella eater, allergy sufferer, story writer lefty eyebag 😌

Good morning, hope you slept well! How are you?

I just finished eating breakfast. Made a bagel sandwich, that had an egg and hashbrown. What do you usually have for breakfast? Do you like oatmeal?

I think I know what you're talking about. Are they like thicker sprinkles too? I might have seen some tiktok videos of people eating that! It looks good, but I'm weird. I don't think I'd eat it because its sprinkles lol I don't even like sprinkles on donuts.

I like honey wheat. But then I found butter bread, and that's all I like now for sandwiches except when I make subs or reuben sandwiches. But my favorite is french bread, garlic bread, and sweet rolls. I could eat those anytime lol

There's this one restaurant here in Omaha where they serve fresh baked bread before the meal, and the first time I had it, the waitress showed us to have olive oil and parmesan cheese on a plate, then dip the bread..ohmygosh it was amazing. Especially since it was so fresh and hot! But the taste of the bread and oil and parmesan together..it just melted in my mouth. Maybe I'll go there this weekend...🤔🤣😅

Ah I see, so he loves to fish?

When I read the part where you called the fish ugly, I died laughing. Poor fishy lol but I know what you mean though. When I was younger, my grandma would take me with her to the market. And in the Philippines, they have like a fish market and it's open and you can smell all the fishy that they just caught for the day. The smell was so crazy and to see the fish just laying there with the tongue out like a dead person..the eyes looking at you, saying "why did you let them take meee".

Yeah I also can't eat fish with the bones. My bad experience was with sardines. I used to love sardines when I was younger, but then one time, I don't know if I got the wrong brand or something. I made it, started eating it, then felt a piercing on my gums, then something cracked between my teeth. I was surprised, and scared cause I though it was eating my own tooth or something. Then when I spit it out, it was a bone. Blegh.

No, I have not seen a shooting star either. When I go camping I always try to check the sky for it though lol

What do you do when you can't fall asleep?

-CuriousGeorge

Hello hello you bread lover little john righty eyebag!

ouh sounds like a good breakfast. wait so u put the hashbrown between the bagel? what kind of bagel u like?

i rarely have breakfast but when i have breakfast i like to have bagel and cream cheese with iced coffee. that's for the quick breakfast but if i have time to sit down and eat, i usually have either sausage patty or ham with over easy egg and bacon. or just oatmeal with raisin, almonds and brown sugar. so yes, i love oatmeal.

yes i think it's a thicker sprinkles. it's different from sprinkles here. i think u will like this sprinkles.

i dont like sprinkles on donut either. what kind of donut u like?

honey wheat and butter bread are good. i love french bread if i dip it with creamy soup. i dont like garlic bread especially if it's too strong. i like garlic only in certain food.

haha yeah maybe u should go there this weekend. then u can take a pict for me if u go. hahah. last time i went to a italian restaurant n they serve their garilc bread with olive oil and some vinagret they even put some italian herbs and u can taste the basil.

basil is one of my favorite herbs. have i asked u what's ur favorite herbs? i think i did. lol.

yes, he likes to fish.

hahaha yeees some market in indonesia are like that too. i really dont like it when my mom took me there. it grossed me out. the floor were wet and the market smell from the fish and meat. n i remember all the fish were lined up. they all looked ugly. n the life chickens n stuff. i feel like the air there is not safe to breath. hahaha. n what concerned me the most is the wet ground. some puddle probably from the seller rinse their stall. i dont know, only god knows. it stressed me out when i got splashed even just a tiny drop from whatever water whereever it comes from.

also i'm glad u died laughing when u read my comment about the ugly fish n i'm glad that u revived. lol. i laughed when u mentioned about the fish tongue. ahahhah. It makes me think something like this:

yeah we experienced kinda similar things with fish bones. hahahahaha. n it's scary for me.

u like to go camping? i don't. i had bad experience in camping when i was in girlscout.

when i can't sleep, i will write or browse the internet like instagram or tiktok or just try to sleep, tossing n turn. either way i end up got headache n i will take tylenol n fell asleep. what about u?

next question?

Cheerio!