#maybe if i told him he'd go “pues asi es la vida”

[alliedmastercomputer67]

Javier Escuella reflects the immigrant experience I went through and it hurts to see that be disregarded

I understand him in the way that coming to a new country is a terrifying experience, to leave everything you know and love and people you care for behind never knowing when or if you'll ever see them again. Trying to escape something you know you won't live thru and not wanting to be subject to an unfair way of life, trying to do something good for yourself and necessary to survive, somehow you feel guilty about it and you think why didn't I save someone else? why did I do this? do I deserve a better opportunity and a better chance at becoming someone in life?

Coming to a country and hoping for that better opportunity is a gamble and In my case I don't even know if I'm winning or losing. Coming to America from Mexico we're promised big cities with endless opportunities and equality for all and we're told we will always have enough of everything and never have to spend a day on the streets, but like Javier says, it's the same here as it is back there, the only difference is that America has the money and the power to hide that from the outside world and it creates a mirage enticing people into coming here and leads people into a trap of never having enough, not for yourself much less your family and even much less to just LIVE. Luring people into the cold venomous heart of what we hoped to be the American Dream

I never lived in a house we own. the house I'm in today is not ours and we pay ridiculous rent, I lived in a single room for most of my life with my parents, and I think Javier would understand what it feels like. He'd understand wishing you could've had what you do now years ago but you just know what's done is done. Javier understands the struggles that come with adapting and evolving with the world around you, the teases and insults thrown at you for broken English until you finally become some what fluent and realize you don't understand a lick of your native dialect and how your Spanish has become broken.

Having to comply with what makes the people above you "comfortable" takes away your sense of identity, you cage the once passionate and hungry spirit in you so it's enthusiasm won't scare off people or opportunities. He'd understand what it feels like to constantly feel like people just assume things because of how you look. He would get why I feel humiliation sitting, waiting for the food drive and seeing the kids around me and realizing the thing we all have in common is our blood. He'd understand what it's like to have people disregard your intelligence because to them someone like you with your skin and someone who speak the language you do can't be as smart as them.

When I was little I often tried to scrub off my brown skin because I felt ashamed of it. and I think he'd understand why. I love my country and what makes me Mexican but I live in a country that makes me fear being proud will get me killed and I won't sugarcoat that. I make myself more American for the sake of fitting in and in that act I've lost a part of myself.

I think he understands feeling shame but still being prideful because if not pride then what else is there?