#maybe ill reread piranesi instead

[soldier-poet-king]

I ended up calling in sick and slept the entire morning and I thought I'd read this afternoon, no phone in sight, but I'm 30 pages into station eleven and wondering if maybe this is just going to give me a panic attack.

I know people who loved it and people who loathed it, all of whose book opinions I usually trust, and it's just. Is it a book about art and survival but also a pandemic and and and and and

[chellyfishing]

well, i finished the last book i meant to read for the year, and i’ve been wanting to do a lil year in review of all the media from this year, but the main problem is that i don’t log movies/tv anywhere and my memory is uhh?? real bad?? i also definitely didn’t listen to nearly as much new music this year as usual :\\ anyway i figured i’d start with books for now and maybe ponder music/tv/movies/games over the next couple days.

NO i will not include fic even though i definitely did spend like a week recently accidentally reading a 600+k fic for a fandom i’m NOT EVEN IN, i can’t believe i read the whole thing

my storygraph is here

i read fifteen books this year, which makes it my best reading year since 2016, when i inexplicably read 40 in one year?? who is she i gave 5 stars to three of them:

confessions by kanae minato: this is a thriller told from multiple POVs about the supposed accidental death/actual murder of a teacher’s young daughter and the fallout that happens when she reveals she knows the truth. it is hard to root for anyone in this but that’s not really the point. every chapter reframes the original story again and again and again up until the final page so honestly don’t bother making your mind up about anything at any point before then.

the last house on needless street by catriona ward: i feel like explaining almost anything about this book and why i loved it so much would be just one massive spoiler, because its strengths lie in its abilities to subvert. subvert what? kind of... everything? it’s about a man, and his cat, and his daughter. it’s about a woman searching for her missing sister. it’s about illness, and abuse, and a serial killer. trigger warnings abound, especially regarding things happening to children. i don’t really know how to recommend this, except that it’s just Good and i haven’t stopped thinking about it.

you’ve lost a lot of blood by eric larocca: this is the book i just finished. it is very short, you could almost class it as a novella, in fact there is a novella in it? but also other things? i literally just finished it, so i’m still processing, because SO MUCH happens in a very short span of pages. i might reread it quickly because it really does go so fast, you almost don’t have time to breathe. the novella within the novel(la) is told in present-tense, in very short sentences and paragraphs, and you especially fly through those sections. i don’t know at this point if i think the whole thing could have benefitted from being longer or not. i might even change my rating of it later, but i sat for a minute after the last page and felt pretty strongly it was a five-star read so for now i go with my gut. i could feel myself going on a face journey the whole time, from sentence to sentence. it has things to say, in a sort of recursive way, it’s hard to explain. i think what it’s about is art, and also identity. i think i’m going to be thinking about it for awhile.

several other books i read this year probably would have been 5 stars if i was still using goodreads instead of storygraph, like a powerless fool, with the top ones of those being:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid: you all know this book!!!!! i’m late to the party. there is a lot in here that is so beautiful and compelling. there is something about her writing that i also felt in malibu rising (which i also read this year) that keeps things from being a full five stars from me. i don’t think i can really explain it succinctly. but i was still very moved by this book, i cried a lot, and i do intend to read more by her, because her work is very readable.

piranesi by susanna clarke: i think this is a book that i only didn’t love quite as much as other people because i heard how good it was going in and expected something more revolutionary or life-changing instead of just A Very Good Book. like if i didn’t have any expectations i probably would have finished it and gone “wow!” instead of “oh, that was nice.” it’s about a man who doesn’t know much living almost entirely alone in a place that can’t be real, and what happens when both he and outside forces start to peel away at that reality.

all the feels by olivia dade: this is the sequel to spoiler alert, which i also read and loved this year, but slightly less. both of these books are very wonderful funny wish fulfillment romantic comedies about fat women and gorgeous prestige television star men (the show they’re on is like game of thrones but make it greek myth), they were the kind of thing that i just kind of needed to read at the time. what puts this one slightly ahead of its predecessor for me is that most of the conflict comes from the characters not being able to get out of their own way and sort of having to learn how to grow and be better people both for themselves and each other. i also just liked their romantic dynamic a bit more and i think anybody who is familiar with both pairs and also me would be like “yeah that tracks.” there’s a third book in the universe featuring a very minor background couple from the first two coming out soon!! ready for it!!

and the other good to very good things i read:

the ghost bride by yangsze choo (4.5): this book is set in 19th century malaysia and is about colonial chinese families (the author herself being chinese-malaysian). it’s about a woman whose family is Respectable but in a precarious position, and so naturally that means hoping for an Advantageous Marriage. there’s a man she loves, but he’s out of reach, and then his family proposes the idea of her marrying... that man’s dead cousin? which she’s not into (for whatever reason). but then he starts haunting her, and she has to figure out how to get him off her back so she can actually live her damn life. it’s very cute and fun and adventurous and sweet and romantic. it’s also a series on netflix which is somewhat faithful, it changes some things for the better and some things for less so, i enjoyed it though! the dead man, who is a limp weirdo in the book, is kind of a banger character in the series (i mean, still a weirdo, but with killer fashion sense).

the bright spear trilogy by hl macfarlane (all 3.75): these are three books classed as “gothic scottish fairy tales.” in terms of writing they are very light and frothy, kind of romantic drama with a fairy tale backdrop. there’s a bit more plot in the first one but things gradually become more about the relationship drama as things progress. slight spoiler but absolutely approve of the heroine having two handsome suitors and deciding she will keep both. they aren’t amazing books overall but they were fun fast reads and i honestly appreciate them being kind of just lightly poly. the third book is... unexpectedly dark? like trigger warnings for SA among some other things. things never get truly grim but after i read it i was like oh yeah that was kind of a lot wasn’t it, if you think about it. the author has promised a sequel series about the child character born at the end and... yeah. yeah i’m gonna read it.

malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid (4.5): another book in the taylor jenkins reidiverse, about the family of a minor evelyn hugo character. he’s a rock star, he’s got a wife who’s been with him from before he Made It, they’ve got kids who love to surf. the action focuses on the kids, taking place over one night, with flashbacks filling in the stories of their parents, and how actually, their dad kinda sucks. this is a lighter read than evelyn hugo but deals with similar ideas and themes.

penpal by dathan auerbach (4.25): this is kind of a famous no sleep/reddit horror story that was published as a novel. it’s about a man who’s reflecting on his childhood, putting together a lot of seemingly disparate, out-of-order events to form a truly disturbing narrative. the most important thing about this book that you should know is that it’s a bummer. you won’t walk away from this one feeling very good about anything. the pacing is kind of slow as things build over time and then A Lot happens in the last bit and then you just kind of have to live with it.

neverworld wake by marisha pessl (3.5): this was easily the most disappointing book i read this year. it’s about a group of friends who are stuck in purgatory reliving the same day over and over again, and it’s also about their friend who died a year ago and what happened to him. i... don’t really know what to say about this book. it wasn’t bad, obviously. maybe i just don’t get it. i don’t know what it was trying to say. i don’t know what i was supposed to feel. but i wasn’t feeling conflicted in the way i was with something like, say, confessions. it was just kind of like, “...okay? and?”

spoiler alert by olivia dade (4.25): as mentioned above.

autumn of the grimoire by jl vampa (4.0): listen... i read this because it’s arranged marriage. more broadly it’s about four sisters who are like, seasonal witches, and they pass around a grimoire from season to season that gives them tasks passed down by their predecessors. our protagonist is sister autumn and she always gets the absolutely worst most grim and traumatic tasks, and now she’s inexplicably being forced to marry Some Guy. the thing that i liked the least about this book is how it was told from different viewpoints of characters who have different amounts of knowledge but the reader is constantly being kept in the dark for no real reason, like, we weren’t learning with the characters, the characters already knew!! we were just being teased with constant reminders about how there’s More Going On, which is so tedious to me. “had i but known” and related writing tropes are among my least favorites. also, i knew it was going to be het, but there was a teeny tiny part of me that thought maybe the male half of the marriage was already in a relationship with another man and he and his wife were just going to end up bffs and i read like half the book through that lens and it took quite awhile before the book reached a point where i could no longer pretend that made sense. i recommend trying this anyway because if the author is going to repeatedly remind me there are things i don’t know it’s my right as a free american to pretend the thing i don’t know is gay. overall in spite of all that there are some fun characters, and some fun plot twists! i didn’t expect it to end how it did and i’m actually kind of looking forward to reading more in the series when they come out!

i didn’t read any books i hated this year, which was nice!! i think i read more 5 stars last year but i also read some real duds too. the “worst” was just being disappointed by

neverworld wake

.

i started so many others but i don’t consider any of them DNFs becaaaaause i start books all the time and put them down and it has nothing to do with the book and everything to do with the fact that i have a squirrel brain and reading is so so hard. hopefully i’ll finish some of them next year?? i don’t think anything i read this year was an aborted attempt from last year tho sooooo idk. i wish my brain was better but i still consider this a pretty good reading year overall!