#maybe jon disappeared because without the eye he really is nothing??? i dont enjoy that thought but it explains his disappearance

[lonely-dog-song]

rrrr I wanna talk about the ending 🏃 major TMA finale spoilers in the tags

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

I say this in the most unironic way possible: Madoka Magica AU for TMA.

The world is infested with pockets of fears that hurt everyone who comes near or in contact to them. The worst of these are Manifestations, which actively attack people and seek them out, distorting the land around them to create a world where the only laws of physics are the ones it creates. To combat this, creatures from the entities go and find people to be their avatars, able to wield their power at the cost of normal life. And to power their change, they make one wish equal to the power within them.

But, of course, this is not all what it seems. When becoming an avatar, each person is given a gem to power themselves. Over time, the gem gets slowly corrupted, little flames, little eyes peeking through the sea of color. They're not told this, but the gem? That's not just power, it's their mind, their heart, their soul kept safe within its confines. Their body is just a vessel now. 

And if their gem gets fully corrupted? Well, avatars are manifestations of their entities after all. If they are more fear than person, it's time to emerge, to Manifest.

There are two ways to prevent this: 1) Manifestations when they're defeated, drop a core. This core can be used to slow down corruption. But the most consistent way... well, sometimes you need to cause fear in order to prevent more right?

So, shit's fucked and for the most part, most of the avatars dont know the truth behind what they do or if they do, don't care because they're enjoying being awful.

Which brings the Institute crew.

Honestly at this point, this is just the plot of Madoka but we'll continue anyway. 

Jon, Sasha, and Tim are all working at the Magnus Institute when they have a new recruit, Martin Blackwood. He's odd, stern, and in a way incredibly distant. It's almost like he isn't there, and yet when the rest of the crew think of him, they can only think that he has a nice smile.

Well, Jon thinks other things. 1) Martin seems incredibly competent at this and 2) the tea makes is absolutely perfect. He has no idea what to make of any of this. But Martin doesn't seem to keen to talk to any of them more than strictly necessary, which is perfectly fine with him.

There's an attack, Martin surprise surprise, uses odd powers of disappearing(?) to stop it. Elias with a help from a creature from the entities tries to recruit the crew to becoming avatars, but Martin tells him off, and manages to convince the crew to talk with him and hear him out.

Martin tells them about the avatars. About the fear manifestations. He tells them how this isn't a choice that can be so quickly made that it will change their lives, make them... inhuman.

Tim asks about the wishes. What they can do. Martin quietly answers that whatever he wants to wish, it's not worth the price. Sasha asks why Martin is doing this and why didn't he tell them.

He goes quiet, but then answers honestly, he knew they wouldn't believe him.

For Jon, he asks every question imaginable. Who are you really? What can you do? Why did you protect us? What are those creatures? Why shouldn't I become one of these avatars? What's wrong with Elias?

And Martin answers some of them vague. Some of them full answers. But he says this: I just want everyone to be safe.

Skipping a bit, this story becomes a combo of Martin continuously preventing Jon from becoming an avatar while the world goes to hell around them. Tim becomes an avatar to save his brother. Only to be corrupted by the realization that he's now stuck in this cycle. Sasha becomes an avatar for what she says, to protect others, but she wants to know, needs to know what's going on.

Sasha dies from the a Manifestation, the Not!Them. Tim dies, on the edge of Manifesting himself, but goes down, dying as he takes out the Unknowing.

Throughout all this, Jon slowly realizes there are things Martin isn't telling him. And he asks directly, why aren't you letting me become an avatar? Why aren't you letting me help anyone?

And Martin, terrified that he's going to lose him to Elias' tales of power, tells him.

Martin's power isn't to disappear. In fact, he's always there. No, Martin can manipulate time.

These past few months. Martin has lived them again and again. Trying over and over to keep Jon alive. Every time Jon has become an avatar, he's died or worse, Manifested.

And it always happens. Every time. Every time he tries to go back and save Jon, it seems like there is never a happy ending for him. For them. Elias hasn't told them but there's a huge Manifestation arriving soon. If they dont stop it, do something, it will destroy all of London, and if it does that, there will be nothing they can do for it wrecking havoc all over the world.

And Martin adds, Elias wants Jon to become an avatar, to be his Archivist to either defeat it or become something far worse and far more powerful.

What Martin doesn't know, the wish gains power from the world around them. And Jon, while having the ability at the beginning to be a pretty decent avatar, has become something more. By going back over and over, Jon has become more important in the grand scheme of things, a fixation gaining power of decision with every loop. As much as Martin tries, going back has only made Jon's ultimate fate more ensured and more destructive.

And Jon... he's terrified. But he knows what to do. He wishes there was no such thing as Manifestations in all of existence.

In doing so, he rewrites the laws of the universe. However, by doing so, he essentially destroys his own existence. There can not be avatars without Manifestation. And thus, Jon exists and yet he doesn't.

And Martin.... maybe it's a gift maybe it's a curse, but he remembers Jon. He remembers the many loops trying to keep that stubborn man safe. He remembers the soft smiles that Jon only let the most precious to him see. He remembers falling in love. He remembers sometimes, being loved back.

It hurts. It hurts so much to lose him. But, these moments, these memories, they mattered. Martin loved Jon and that love that determination to save the world mattered. If he didn't think that Jon's life didn't matter, the world would have gone to hell the first time with nothing left but despair.

This isn't a happy ending. It isn’t fair and it isn’t right. But it is an ending made best despite the circumstances. Because despite the fear, despite everything against them, it was love, love of others, love of the world, that saved everyone. It may not exist anymore, but it mattered. They mattered. And sometimes that's enough.