#maybe partly bc i'm tired but mainly because i always have a lot to say about hawkeye lol

[marley-manson]

I am grateful for your Mash Metas, your BJ ones for sure. They are much more closer to what I think of him, and I was starting to think I was not understanding his character properly because I think he's mean to others, especially Hawkeye.

But I think it makes him more interesting. Hawkeye's best friend who doesn't like him, but wants to be liked by him. He loves Hawkeye, but he does not like him. Do you think this would eventually bother Hawkeye? After the war when he thinks about it? Or would he never notice it?

Thank you, I'm glad you've been enjoying my takes! And thanks for your interest in my opinions!

Ohhhh man I love how you put that, doesn't like him but wants to be liked by him, loves him but doesn't like him, it's so good. Now that's the kind of interesting dynamic I'd read 1000 fics about.

This got long lol so it's under a cut

To be perfectly fair I think I probably go a step beyond what the writers intended wrt the flaws in BJ and his friendship with Hawkeye. I think we have clear demonstrations of resentment, taking his negative feelings out on Hawkeye, passive aggression, tearing Hawkeye down to build himself up, etc, but I think we're meant to take most of it in good comedic fun, and sympathize with BJ even when the show's painting him as genuinely cruel, because he's sad and misses his family etc. This behaviour isn't really meant to significantly darken the vibe of their friendship, probably.

But yk, to me it does lol, I don't think the writing/acting threaded the needle successfully. Maybe it would've worked for me if I saw more chemistry between Hawk and BJ, idk. But yeah the way you describe them is def the impression I get, and that's the headcanony angle I'm gonna discuss them from here. Basically BJ and Hawkeye's friendship being uneven bc Hawkeye genuinely likes BJ while BJ usually likes being around Hawkeye and does love him in a way, but dislikes/resents a lot of things about him, and shows it in cruel ways.

So to actually answer your question... idk lol. I mean I can see a few possibilities. Like I feel like it does bother Hawkeye in canon a little, but not enough to cause an actual rift. Like, reasserting himself once after one of BJ's intense prank schemes by mildly revenge-pranking BJ fixes things for him. When they argue, they eventually just agree to stop arguing without resolving anything because they're stuck together and they need each other. In Wheelers and Dealers he's alternately exasperated with BJ and soothingly placating, and it's Margaret who has to come in and yell some sense into him. In Heroes Hawkeye goes out of his way to try to make BJ feel better after several jealous digs BJ makes at his expense, by trying to get some limelight on him. He's vocally upset about the punch in Period of Adjustment but he's ready to be a shoulder to lean on as soon as BJ apologizes. In Picture This he drops the petty fight instantly when he's led to believe that BJ needs his support. He often gets upset with BJ, but never truly puts his foot down and always capitulates.

So yeah I get the vibe that Hawkeye knows that their friendship is uneven and he gives a lot more than he gets, and that BJ resents him in a lot of ways and lashes out because of it. Plus in addition to how he responds to a lot of BJ's bullshit, he also just generally is pretty emotionally intelligent and tends to understand people imo.

And I don't think Hawkeye puts up with it because he lacks self esteem and doesn't think he deserves better, I think it's because a) he's empathetic and sympathizes with BJ and the war's effect on him and b) he doesn't have much of a choice but to put up with the negative side of their friendship, because he relies on that friendship too much. Plus I think while he has a mostly realistic view of himself, he does see himself as a little more more resilient and capable than other people, and therefore willing to put up with more. Like to an extent I almost see him tolerating BJ's lashing out as indulging him? Like, 'okay get it out of your system, I can handle it.' I don't have concrete reasoning for this lol, but it's mainly his behaviour in episodes like Dr Pierce Mr Hyde or Dreams where he doesn't sleep because he's the best surgeon and he's needed, even while sending others off for breaks, combined with always being a shoulder for BJ to lean on no matter how shitty he's been (eg Period of Adjustment, GFA), and like, the end of Fallen Idol lol where he basically says 'whatever pedestalize me i guess, i can take it.' And the way he never gives as good as he gets in the prank episodes, which narratively is because the show likes it when Hawk is a victim, but lbr it makes sense if it's partly bc he knows BJ can dish it out but can't take it.

So I feel like post-war Hawkeye would be aware of BJ's weird contradictory feelings about him, because I like to think he's aware during the war, but he wouldn't really resent it? He'd probably still have fond memories of the friendship and he'd see it as kinda messed up but so was everything else while he was drafted and it was better than most aspects of living in a war zone. He knows they were stuck together and probably wouldn't have been friends outside the war, and they made the best of it. And if BJ kind of sucked at holding his end up, well, the war was hard on him and Hawkeye sympathizes. I don't think he'd ever really frame it like, "Hey wait, I was the one who had a breakdown actually, so why was I BJ's emotional support and punching bag combined?" I think he's just automatically very tuned into other people's pain - not to the extent of ignoring his own, but in a way that's like, he'd rather help someone else than wallow in his own misery.

But if he saw BJ again post-war for any length of time and BJ fell back into those old patterns, I don't think he'd put up with it now. If BJ was like, going through a messy divorce or something he'd be sympathetic and probably give BJ some leeway, but he doesn't need him now, yk? He'd walk away if he needed to, imo. I don't imagine him giving a whole cathartic speech to BJ about toxic friendships exactly lol, but I think he'd say something about how they're not in Korea anymore and BJ needs to deal with his shit constructively or they can go their separate ways.

Note that my post-war take on Hawkeye is that he's happy, largely mentally healthy, and has a big network of friends. If he's miserable and isolated and borderline suicidal like in a lot of fanon maybe then they could fall right back into weird toxic vibes and Hawkeye would be like 'w/e this might as well happen.' But honestly I don't really vibe with that version of Hawkeye. Considering how many friends he made while falling apart in a warzone I think there's about a hundred percent chance he has a good support network of people when he's back home.