#me and nebula were giggling like little shits for the entirety of the making of this

[inawickedlittletown]

The Choice (one-shot)

A/N: This contains Endgame Spoilers.

Words: 2,680

Summary: The universe rewards sacrifice. Endgame fix-it. 

There was a scar on Tony’s chest where he was stabbed by Thanos by Tony’s own nanotech suit. There was also scarring left over from where the shrapnel had gone into his chest as well as where the reactor had been imbedded into his chest for so long. But by far the worst scarring were the dark lines on his neck that went down his right arm all the way down to his fingers. He was damaged. A little bit broken.

Once his hand had taken the stones and felt their power. Once his fingers had snapped. Once he’d known what Strange meant by the shaky finger he lifted up. Once the world changed. Once Tony felt the power tear him apart -- a fiery pain so fierce that Tony had almost not even felt it at all. Once all of that happened he knew it was over. Completely over.

He came to in a white blank space.

He was naked. It was one of the first things Tony noticed, because his scarring was so prominent. He supposed that maybe this was what death felt like. An unfeeling kind of feeling…

Time passed. Or maybe it didn’t. The name of the game was confusion and everything was so glaringly white. Too white. It was nothingness. And maybe everything too.

Tony wasn’t entirely fond of white.

Then, someone appeared. The Someone wore a hood and shone. The Someone was important.

“Anthony Stark.”

“That is me. So, what is this -- pearly gates or something?”

The Someone laughed and the laugh echoed.

“Something. You don’t get to know what this is. Not now. Not yet.”

Tony sighed. “Okay. Fine. So, what is this, then? I mean, is this even real?”

The someone laughed again. “Anything is real. Or not real. What is real? If you experience it even if happens in your dreams why can it not be then real?”

“Am I dead?”

“No.”

“Oh, look, you can give a straight answer.”

The Someone moved and lifted an arm. The cloak or robe or whatever -- gossamer white and silver moved with The Someone and he or she touched his forehead with a cold finger.

“Sacrifice makes things difficult. Your sacrifice was grand.”

“And that means what exactly? If I’m not dead. Do I stay in this blank space? Am I sent to the depths of hell? I mean the only god I really know is Thor and his explanation for life and death is nothing like this so--”

“Sacrifice is repaid,” The Someone said.

The Someone sounded like a lot of people. Voices that Tony knew and didn’t mixed together and echoing and echoing and echoing...

“And?”

“Do you desire to live? To return...to live…”

“I--”

You can rest now…

“Who are you?”

“I am powerful. I am life. I am death. I give. I take.” The Someone laughed an echoing laugh. “I am. I just am.”

I. Am. Iron Man.

“And I get to choose? I get to decide if I want to live? If I want to go back to--”

The Someone nodded, his or her hood moving.

“Your choice. Your heart’s choice -- your soul’s choice…”

“I decide,” Tony said.

The white around him was getting cloudy and weird -- it was going grey.

“Live or...or what?”

Tony’s voice echoed around him. The Someone was laughing.

“Or The After,” The Someone said.

Rest. Peace. They’ll be okay.

“The After as in…”

“The After,” The Someone said. “Or life. What does your soul say Anthony Stark? What does it say?”

He was so tired. The grey was getting darker. Tony’s eyes closed and he could see them standing in the tower -- Steve and Bruce and Thor and Clint. No Natasha. But behind them Nebula and Rocket and Rhodey and Sam and Bucky and Wanda. Peter stood with Pepper and Happy and...Morgan. Morgan…

“My family. I have to be with my family.”

“So be it.”

To the creature or being -- whatever IT was -- life had clearly been the wrong choice. Tony got the impression that it didn’t understand what life meant and that with the hardships and the pain came so much more. That there were joys that couldn’t be described and pain that could be erased. Life was more. It was deep and painful and amazing. If Tony ever met it again, he would try to explain. He doubted it would ever understand.

When he woke up...it was dark and cramped and breathing hurt. Everything hurt, but drawing breath hurt more.

His lungs burned as he screamed and screamed, limbs kicking and punching and hitting anything. Everything.

The person that opened the casket was a young woman -- blond ponytail and scared blue eyes.

“Fuck. Fuck. Holy, shit. You’re alive.”

She then promptly fell back and hit the ground with a thud.

He was sore. So so sore and hurt and in pain and getting out of the casket took him a while, but he managed it. He nudged the girl with his shoe until she blinked her eyes.

“I -- I didn’t dream...oh my god. We have to call your -- everyone is going to flip.”

Everyone did flip as the girl put it. Pepper arrived with Rhodey, both of them with red rimmed eyes and such a deep exhaustion that Tony was worried. They looked shocked, stood a few feet away from where he sat and didn’t move as if they were afraid that he’d disappear.

“Morgan?” Tony asked.

“With Steve and Bruce,” Rhodey said and he was the first one to reach him where he was seated on a cushioned but still mostly uncomfortable chair.

“You’re really...Oh, Tony--”

Rhodey squeezed his shoulder and then bent down to hug him where he sat. Tony moved with him, crushing himself to Rhodey’s chest until Pepper’s hand landed on his face. Pepper cradled his face in her hands and Rhodey stepped out of her way as she caught him in her arms. She was crying.

“How is this...how?”

Tony didn’t know where the words came from. “The Universe -- it was grateful.”

He was only at the hospital for a total of four hours. Prodded and scanned and frowned over for the entirety of the four hours.

“Nothing wrong with him.”

“No,” Rhodey said. “On that you’re wrong. There is a lot wrong with him. Like, he’s a sacrificial asshole with all kinds of issues and probably a death wish--”

“Physically,” the doctor corrected. “He just needs sleep and water and food. He’ll be fine.”

They discharged him and sent him home and Tony was already starting to feel better. In the few moments he’d been alone and changing into his clothes, Tony had gotten to look at his chest and at his arm. None of the black lines remained. His stab wound was a faint barely there line on his skin. Even the space where his arc reactor had been was less scarred. None of it made sense.

It didn’t need to make sense, though. Not when he was alive. When he could live. He’d made the right choice.

The Avengers Compound was destroyed, so everyone that had nowhere else to go had been staying at their house.

Steve was sitting on the steps and Morgan sat next to him when they drove up. They seemed to be mid-conversation, but Steve looked up as the car stopped and Tony took in the scene. His house. His daughter. Steve.

“Tony?” Pepper asked. She reached over the took his hand. From the front, Rhodey turned to look at him.

“I -- I just can’t believe it,” Tony said. He let go of Pepper’s hand and opened the door.

Morgan ran at him, crashing into his legs, her arms wrapped tightly around them.

“Oof,” Tony said, “you’re just getting stronger and stronger every day, kiddo.”

She looked up at him all big eyes and smiling. Morgan was everything -- before her, he’d never known he could love so deeply. He reached down and picked her up, his eyes not being able to tear themselves away from her face.

“Daddy?”

“Hi, kid.”

“Mommy said you weren’t going to come back,” Morgan whispered, as if it were a secret.

“Oh, honey,” Tony said and he didn’t have words -- didn’t know how to explain that he’d died and that somehow in some impossible way he’d come back. That he’d been allowed to come back.

“I missed you,” Morgan said.

“I missed you too, peanut. So much. And you know what? I love you 3000.”

She scrunched up her nose adorably and Tony kissed her cheek and then her other cheek and her forehead. She broke out into giggles, wiggling against his hold until Tony pressed one last kiss to the top of her head and he put her down. She ran towards Pepper and Rhodey and it was so easy for her.

Tony knew Morgan was smart, but she was still a kid and he couldn’t imagine that she’d truly understood death or what it meant that he was back. It was easier that way. Better.

“Tony.”

Steve was just in front of him, blue eyes glistening as he stepped closer as if he were hesitating, but Tony crossed the few feet between them, wrapping his arms around him. It was enough for Steve to truly sweep him into his arms. He pulled him in tight but not crushingly so.

“You’re alive. You’re really...you’re here. I didn’t want to -- none of us thought. Tony.”

“I am. I am. I don’t know how or why but I am…”

Steve pulled back and they were face to face and Steve smiled and then pulled him into a hug again and Tony said nothing when he heard Steve let out a sob. He hadn’t realized Steve cared so much.

Happy brought Peter and May from Queens later that afternoon and Tony was not surprised when Peter threw himself at Tony in a very Morgan-like fashion, but crying into his neck and mumbling something that Tony didn’t hear half because it was said so fast and half because it was said into his shirt. The kid did like to talk. Tony just wanted to hold him for as long as he could.

Five years he’d gone without his kid. He’d gotten married and he and Pepper had Morgan, but Peter had never been far from Tony’s thoughts. He was the catalyst for him deciding to help bring everyone back.

Peter stuck to his side for the rest of the afternoon and Tony didn’t mind how clingy the kid had become all of a sudden. He understood perfectly. For Peter the last few days had probably been very confusing.

“I was so mad at you,” Peter told him eventually. “I didn’t want you to go.”

“I know. I know. But I’m here. I’m here. We’re both here. I’m planning on sticking around.”

He pushed Peter’s hair back from his face and he just took Peter in. He loved this kid so much.

“You better, Mr. Stark,” Peter said.

They had a big party and invited everyone. Tony left the planning up to Pepper, partly because he was still kind of tired but also because everyone was visiting all the time and Tony was busy entertaining. He could still remember when their team had been only six of them. Now there seemed to be some sort of Superhero community. It made Tony feel a whole lot better about officially giving up the suit.

Death or whatever happened to him...whoever he’d spoken to -- it had given him a choice. Choosing to live meant that he wanted to live. He wanted to be around for a long time. For Morgan and Pepper. For Peter. For Rhodey. For every single person that he had willingly sacrificed himself for. He wanted to see them all live. 

“I think this is entirely because of you,” Fury said the day of the party.

“Yeah, and I heard the eye patch is entirely due to a cat.”

Fury glared at him with his singular eye. “Not a cat,” he said. “But this is due to you, Stark. You bring people together.”

Out on the yard a lot of smaller conversations were taking place. People laughing and telling stories. Morgan was chasing Peter around. Nebula was being sullen where she stood with Rocket and Quill. Bruce was having a discussion with Hank Pym and Shuri. Thor was with some of the Asgardians and Groot. Even Strange had shown up with Wong and he was laughing at something that T’Challa said.

“I don’t think I did all that,” Tony said.

“Maybe not all of it, but you made sure we were all here today. We were wrong all those years ago to separate you and Iron Man -- you are Iron Man. But maybe Tony Stark is even better.”

Tony chuckled. “You’re just saying that because I died.”

Carol showed up to call Fury away but she smiled at Tony as she pulled him away. It was weird to see how Fury changed when faced with Carol Danvers. Tony watched them walk down from the porch and he was considering going down to mingle with everyone when he felt someone touch his his elbow. He turned and found Steve.

“Hey,” Steve said.

“Cap?”

“I wanted to let you know I’ve been thinking about doing something kind of stupid.”

Tony laughed. “And you decided to tell me about it?”

“I wanted your perspective on it. I didn’t want to tell Bucky until I was sure and--”

Tony shook his head and he motioned for Steve to follow him to the chairs. “Go ahead. What is it?”

Steve took a deep breath. He looked away for a long moment before finding Tony again. “I’m going to put the stones back. Tomorrow.”

“I know,” Tony said. “I still think you should let someone come with you. I would except that Pepper would probably kill me if she thought I was doing anything risky again.”

“I don’t want anyone else to come,” Steve said. He swallowed and Tony could tell that he was nervous.

Tony was there for everything.

The first real milestone was Peter’s High School graduation. The kid had his choice of schools and Tony didn’t want to say that he entirely influenced him but when Peter decided on MIT, Tony was touched. He showed up when he graduated from MIT the first time and then the second and the third and then tried to convince him that he didn’t actually need to get more degrees than Tony had.

He saw Morgan grow into a young woman -- fierce and strong just like her mother and whip smart too. She had him entirely under her thumb and Tony didn’t care at all. Morgan was everything. Watching her grow up was amazing and ridiculous and Tony would change none of it.

Pepper remained at his side. Always. She was his rock and his best friend and everything that he could have ever wanted. She was the love of his life.

The rest of his family showed up from time to time -- always welcome at the Stark house. Steve had even lived with them for a while after he returned from his adventure -- his life in another timeline. He never told anyone anything about his life in the other timeline which made Tony thing that it wasn’t Peggy he’d stayed with.

It was at Steve’s death bed a few months after his return that Tony made himself ask.

“Was the me in that other timeline happy?”

Steve’s eyes were sad when he nodded. “Yes. So was I.”

“Good.”

Pepper left him first. Then Rhodey. Then Clint. When it came to be his turn, Tony was ready. He could tell that Morgan and Peter weren’t -- but he kissed them and held them and knew they’d be okay. The universe didn’t bother asking him to choose. Instead it thanked him and let him rest. Tony was ready for it this time.

“Was it the right choice?” The Someone asked.

Tony nodded and smiled. “Life is always the right choice.”