#me writing that last line knowing what happens in several years 😈

[krikeymate]

Oooh for the foster au adding onto the scars theme: Sam crying the first time she sees Tara’s scars and Tara being unsure why she’s so upset and Sam having to work through her emotions to try and explain that she’s sad that Tara has been hurt the way she has and Tara is just confused because why would anyone care if she’s hurt? No one ever did before. The way Sam comforts her depends on what stage they’re on for physical affection when she sees them for the first time. Love this AU BTW

I've been trying to answer this all week but I just cannot do it justice. I do not have the words to describe how much I love, adore, this thought. Thank you so much for sending it in, and I'm so happy you're enjoying the AU!

Sam doesn't really begin to learn about the extent of the scars that map Tara's skin, until months and months into their new lives together.

Sam knows about the scar on her neck, knows all too well how it happened. She's spent hours re-reading the incident report, wondering where her mother went wrong, when she became the kind of person who would hold a knife to a child's throat - her child's throat - with the intention to use it. There's a large scar on her shoulder that Sam's seen only in medical photographs, and in the way Tara rubs at it sometimes, in the way she's so careful not to lean on that side.

She's spied the thin burn scar on the side of Tara's left wrist and across the back of her hand, and the splattering of thin white lines across her hands, usually hidden behind the drooping sleeves of the oversized hoodies that Tara insists on wearing.

It takes her two weeks before she notices the notch at the top of her right ear, a thick white line curling around behind it, when Tara gets frustrated with her hair falling in her face as she tries to tie her shoelaces and pulls it back, a hairtye already around her wrist. Sam's hairtye, she notices, the striped pink, purple, and blue band uncommon enough she feels confident in saying was stolen. (She should be irritated, Sam thinks, in seeing her privacy so brazenly violated, her possessions reappropriated. The old Sam would, the Sam from two weeks ago, the Sam who didn't know she had a little sister out there. New Sam doesn't care, new Sam thinks it's cute, she likes the way Tara has wiggled her way into her life so irreversibly).

One day Tara wakes up to the sound of Sam crying. She yawns and flops over to face her, stretching out across the bed and pulling at the bottom of her t-shirt where it had ridden up in her sleep. Sam's teary-eyed and watching her, curled up with her hand over her mouth in an attempt to silence the sobs that want to escape.

Tara's never seen Sam cry before. It upsets her.

"What's wrong?" she asks urgently, crawling forward to sit opposite Sam. Sam shakes her head and closes her eyes for a moment. Tara rests a hand on Sam's knee as she takes a deep breathe, trying to stop crying.

"Nothing, sweet girl," Sam eventually responds, sending her a tight smile. It makes Tara frown at her. Sam's lying. "You said you wouldn't lie," Tara says pointedly, fingers digging into Sam's knee sharply.

"I-" Sam sighs, reaching out to cover Tara's hand with her own. "I saw your back," she says, like that's supposed to mean anything to her. Tara tilts her head at her and waits.

Sam looks uncomfortable as she realises Tara expects more. "Your... scars. I saw your scars." Sam speaks in a hushed voice, and there's something in her tone that makes Tara think she's supposed to find some hidden meaning in it, but in truth she's just confused.

"Ok, but why are you crying," she asks uncertainly. Her hands begin to fiddle with Sam's pyjama bottoms, the urge to move her hands suddenly overwhelming.

"They make me sad, sweet girl," Sam replies softly. "They shouldn't be there, you should never have been hurt."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Tara feels her own eyes begin to sting at the knowledge that she's the one making Sam cry.

Seeing Tara begin to get upset, Sam pulls her into her lap and wraps her arms around her. "You don't have anything to be sorry for Tara. You haven't done anything. You didn't deserve to be hurt." Sam kisses the tip of Tara's scarred ear. "I'm sorry that people have hurt you. I'll never let it happen again. I promise."