#me: jonah's half corpse has life in it. and elias is obviously full of life. but what if there was ANOTHER sort of ghost/monster Jonah

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Keep thinking of Jonelias and turning up the gothic elements to x1000 than they already are in canon, and somehow it always ends up in my mind with Jonah still having his Scottish family house/manor, and getting Jon there, and then Shenanigans.

In my head, it's mid-season 2, Jon's off rails, in a beautiful way, for sure, but Elias has also had a lot of thoughts on his side ever since he hesitated, watching Jon getting eaten by worms, pulling the trigger early. So it's almost a test for himself and for his Archivist when as "punishment" for Jon's behaviour, he tells him he's sending him on a very specific mission in Scotland, to Jonah Magnus's old house, to gather and archive the documents there as the Institute is thinking of turning it into a museum or an extended branch or something.

Jon, of course, is furious (and secretly relieved, for a brief moment, because the paranoia DOES tend to lessen whenever he's away for a bit of the Institute and his coworkers, coughnot!sashacough) but it's not like he's got much choice, beyond quitting or being fired, and when he asks if his assistants are coming with Elias is like "don't be ridiculous, Jon, they need to take care of things here and you'll agree with me you all need some time apart. You'll do a reconnaissance of the house and its content, as it is, and I'll join you myself in a week or two. You should have all amenities available there, excepted perhaps the Internet - but phone service should be fine, so we'll be able to keep in touch if you need anything."

And then he gets into the house, so quiet, so old, but kept in order, clearly; the phone service is actually terrible; the bed he sleeps in ("Jonah's bedroom," Elias tells him when he does manage to call him) is comfortable, but the room is often cold; and here, as well, just like in the Archives, he keeps being WATCHED. And it's not the only odd thing that happens - that one he's almost used to, now. But it's the letters; the weird objects; the noises at night; the old fashioned clothes filling the wardrobe one morning instead of his own clothes; the way his car won't start after four days; etc. etc.

(Something something something, breathing life into another of Jonah's attempt of living beyond death, getting a nostalgic shade of the monster who already loves him and sent him here for judgement, and who decides that Jon would, in fact, make for a proper spouse,,)

[bubonickitten]

Literally no one asked, but I compiled a list of all the times someone suggests or commits arson in TMA

...up to MAG 162, anyway. [Spoilers ahead, obviously.]

MAG 004 – Gerry buys Ex Altiora for £5,000, then immediately slam-dunks it in the seller’s wastepaper bin, sets it on fire, and then just leaves. With the smoldering wastepaper bin. Patently refuses to explain himself, as is his way.  

MAG 006 – Timothy Hodge sets his flat on fire because worms.

MAG 008 – Does an incorporeal Raymond Fielding leaving scorch marks on the floor count as attempted arson? Probably not, but eh. Hill Top Road and arson are sort of inseparable.

MAG 010 – Trevor Herbert sets two (2) vampires on fire.

MAG 012 – Diego Molina and Gerry have some sort of fire-based showdown at a construction site and both end up in the hospital.

MAG 014 – Lee Rentoul sets a box (once containing his own soon-to-be-severed finger) on fire in a fit of petulant rage.

MAG 016 – Carlos Vittery puts his foot through his TV screen to kill a spider and then just straight up burns his shoe afterwards for good measure.

MAG 034 – Dr. Lionel Elliott burns the note that his anatomy students left with the tooth apple. He probably should have also burned the tooth apple.

MAG 036 – Trevor and Julia burn Ivy Meadows Care Home to the ground.

MAG 037 – Jason North fucks around and finds out at a spooky ritual circle in the woods and then his whole life goes up in flames. Literally.

MAG 043 – Diego Molina sets his own house on fire for personal (Desolation-related) reasons.

MAG 055 – Jordan Kennedy sets John Amherst’s sleeve on fire (valid). Then Arthur Nolan sets both his flat and himself on fire for personal (Desolation-related) reasons.

MAG 056 – Trevor Herbert discovers that human corpses aren’t as flammable as vampires.

MAG 059 – Statement giver Ronald Sinclair, like most reasonable people, strongly supports the incineration of Hill Top Road.

MAG 060 – Rosa Meyer wanted to flood the Magnus Institute with petrol and drop a match long before it was cool.  

MAG 061 – Daisy talks about vampire cremation.  

MAG 067 – I mean… Agnes. She is kind of the incarnation of arson. Also she casually incinerates some cobwebs, just to be petty. The Web knows what it did.

MAG 068 – Joseph Russo sets garbage on fire and calls it art.

MAG 070 – Masato Murray tries to burn the evil book of the dead. It does not work, because it’s an evil book of the dead.

MAG 072 – Not intentional arson, but the abandoned takeaway does go up in flames after some candles fall on a stack of bibles.

MAG 087 – Jude Perry burns down Gwydir Forest because an evil clown asked her very nicely.

MAG 089 – Jude Perry’s treatise on arson and self-immolation as a form of self-care.

MAG 100 – Does a ghost on fire count as arson?

MAG 102 – Gerry recommended setting Benoît Maçon’s house on fire but Gertrude said no.  

MAG 107 – Does a ghost train on fire count as arson?  

MAG 110 – Alexia Crawley burns a Leitner. And: “If I ever track down the man who used to own it, I might just burn him too.” #mood, Alexia.  paypal.com/IFuckingHateJurgenLeitner

MAG 111 – Gerry talks about his book burning hobby.  

MAG 117 – Jon burns Gerry’s page. Also, Martin gets really excited about the fact that he’s gonna get to do a little arson, as a treat.

MAG 118 – MARTIN GETS TO DO A LITTLE ARSON, AS A TREAT. (Get fucked, Elias.)

MAG 127 – Albrecht von Closen has his groundskeeper burn down a tree. In the rain. For some reason. Also, not arson, but Dr. Jonathan Fanshawe does make a point to basically end his letter with, “I had this guy’s body burned after the autopsy, seeing as he was FULL OF EYES. Eyes, Jonah, what the fuck. They blinked at me!! All of them!! In unison!! Don’t like that!! P.S. Don’t write me back.”

MAG 139 – Eugene “arson has always been my thing” Vanderstock suggests burning the Magnus Institute to the ground, because Jonny Sims (presumably) wants to hit us over the head with (what I assume is) foreshadowing as often as possible. Eugene also talks about how he and the rest of the Desolation squad burned down five acres of forest to create a pyre for Agnes’ birth, because they are nothing if not dramatic. 

MAG 145 – Arthur Nolan talks about how much he loves arson, as avatars of the Desolation are wont to do.

MAG 147 – This exchange that happens as the squad leaves Hill Top Road:

Jon: Are we burning it? Melanie: The statement or the building? Daisy: Both? Basira: Don’t tempt me.

MAG 154 – Gertrude burns Eric’s page.

MAG 157 – Adelard Dekker, who has never once half-assed anything in his entire life, builds his own funeral pyre so he can go out with a bang on his own terms – but only after he sits down and writes an email to Gertrude about how he totally pulled a Cask of Amontillado on Amherst and regrets nothing.

MAG 158 – Gertrude tries to burn down the Magnus Institute. Even stops to complain about how she “used to be able to torch a building in half the time.”

MAG 160 – Martin mentions that Basira managed to convince the police not to burn the Institute to the ground. (Pretty sure TMA is actually a podcast about failed attempts to torch an evil building that will probably end with a successful attempt to torch said evil building.)

MAG 162 – Gerry says “can I burn this book” and Gertrude says “knock yourself out” and Gerry says “excellent, I need to borrow your wastepaper bin and some lighter fluid, brb.” Also, Martin suggests getting some actual use out of that spider web lighter and burning the cozy cabin to the ground, but Jon says no -- you know, like a buzzkill.