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stonedcoldfoxtarot · 1 year

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5 Reasons You’re That Bitch

Something for the hotties and the secret hotties ft. lyrics by Megan the Stallion

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Pile 1

7oS, Hierophant, Empress, 4oC, 7oP, AoS, QoS, 10oP rev, 10oW, 5oW (2oS)

Many of you are strategic and move in silence. Hoes mad, but you ain’t finna stop until you make it to tin-op and do all the things your haters say you could not (NDA)

You live life on your own terms. Don’t give a fuck about what a hatin’ ass bitch gotta say. Cause none of these hoes saying shit to your face and none of these hoes finna see you at the bank (Thot Shit)

Taken or single, men everywhere want you cause you’re a hot girl and you do hot shit. You make him spend his income on your outfit (Girls in the Hood)

You got a body-ody-ody that makes bitches wanna fight. They spend a lifetime tryna get this hot, but you not the one to play with, like a touch-me-not (Body)

You’re a savage, attitude nasty. Talk big shit but your bank account match it. Haters keep your name in their mouth, now they gaggin’ (Savage Remix ft. Beyonce)

Pile 2

Strength rev, Moon, 4oC, KoP rev, 5oC, Hermit, 4oW, 7oP, AoC, Magician (4oP)

You’re a certified freak, 7 days a week. Wet Ass P*ssy, make that pull out game weak. Some of you don’t cook and you don’t clean, but let you tell it, you got that ring (WAP)

You a real ass bitch, you know you got it lit. All year round it’s a hot girl summer, got a whole lot of options cause they know a bitch poppin’ (Hot Girl Summer ft. Nicki Minaj)

Every day you wake up paid and pretty. Bitches gotta come get their man before you put em in a trance. Cause you got that super nova..that grip, that choker (Cognac Queen)

Pile 2, you ‘bout your money, p*ssy out when you feelin’ real cunty. Men like you thick with the accent county, would sell their soul for a sniff of your undies (Tuned In Freestyle)

Fake ass bitches, fake ass hoes…you tint your windows and lock your doors. When you dip off everybody talking ‘bout a bitch “went ghost,” but, shit, that’s how you roll (Tina Snow Interlude)

Pile 3

KoW, 5oW, 7oP, 6oP, World, KoS, 3oS rev, AoS, Magician, Moon, KoP

Above all else you know your worth. You like all nice things and you like ice, bling-bing. You tell those boys ‘pipe up if you wanna pipe me’ (Pipe Up)

If a man fumbles you, it’s always his loss. You tell him ‘if you wanna leave then bye-bye-bye. I’m a big girl, so I won’t cry-cry-cry’ (Don’t Rock Me To Sleep)

You keep your hair did, nails did, everything did. You tell him ‘Get it for a bad bitch, spend it for a bad bitch. If you got some money, then trick on a bad bitch’. Pile 3 you a savage. Once you spend his money, you leave ‘em in the past tense (Sugar Baby)

Every time you pop out it gets scary for these hoes. You who every man’s wife fear, a thick-thighed nightmare. You the boogie-bitch, hoe, you every man’s type, yea (Scary ft. Rico Nasty)

Pile 3 you stay on your “Fuck you” shit, cause you done being nice. And when it comes to cuttin’ people off, you don’t ever think twice. Fuck it, bitch, you not nice (Not Nice)

Pile 4

Hanged Man rev, 8oP, Hierophant, 5oC, 2oP, Emperor, KoC, 5oS, Fool, AoC, Magician (8oW)

Might have had some setbacks but that was the past. You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout shit, money good. Cause you been out here grindin’ like you ain’t ate, while these hoes bringing nothing to the table but their plate (Money Good)

Pile 4, you have expensive tastes, only men who hate on you are the ones that can’t afford you. This is a motherfuckin’ broke male warning (Warning)

Bitches don’t like you ‘cause you cocky, well you cannot help that your sexy sell and you’re in love with your sexy self. You need a boo that’s gon’ sex you well (Bless The Booth Freestyle)

Pile 4, you’re all that and a bag of flamin’ hot chips. You a hot girl so talk yo shit (Flamin’ Hottie)

And you couldn’t care less if these bitches don’t like you, cause, like, you’re pretty as fuck. With a face like this and a bitch this paid, shit, what could a hoe say? (Her)

Thanks for reading🔮✨

#pac #pac reading #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #intuitive readings #tarot reading #tarot #pick an image #stonedcoldfoxtarot

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jolapeno · 11 months

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I am DESPERATELY waiting for tomorrow’s chapter [I love your Frankie] 😝 but just wondered what you are reading right now?

is it okay that I am eagerly excited to show you all it, especially as we have a special guest 👀 and I—

yeah I’m gonna shut up. let you know what you came here for.

in terms of what I’m reading (I’m just going to include the series — all one shots you can see in the fic recs):

• stay in bed (joel miller) by @psychedelic-ink — I am in LOVE with this series and more people need to be reading and come talk to me about how amazing it is.

• the checklist (joel miller) + take the weight off his shoulders (javi p) by @thetriumphantpanda — both of these are amazing. the checklist is blowing my mind and take the weight off (I know things and it’s good)

• paranoid heart (javi p) by @goodwithcheese — my heart, this pair are amazing and it’s so spicy, and I love megan’s writing so much and so thankful we met.

• headshots (marcus p) by @secretelephanttattoo — this is such a cute and wonderful story and marcus is so dreamy in this! a must read!

• delta palms tropical resort (frankie) by @linzels-blog — I discovered this on AO3 first, binged and harassed the author the next day hahah. I want to visit.

• table for two (frankie) by @hellishjoel — line cook frankie really does it for me, and it’s the best balance of smut and angst.

• delta landscaping (multi) by @rhoorl — if you’re looking for an AU where the TF boys start a business and a neighbourhood chat is started, read this! pls.

• into the beat of the night (frankie) by @perotovar — this is such a unique premise, and I am so excited to see how it all unfolds

notable mentions: señorita by @lavendertales (on hiatus) + your summer dream season two by @swiftispunk (it’s not out but this is a notable mention section)

I am so sorry if I miss anyone, I realise half my links are actually broken 😭

#asked and answered #fic recs #jo: fic recs #kind souls

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batllethinker · 7 months

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The national team submissions masterboard

Overview: A look into the dynamics of our national teams

Spain:

Doms: Jenni, Ona, Aitana, Irene P, Sandra

Subs: Alexia, Mapi, Misa, Laia C, Leila O, Laia A, Salma, Athenea, Mariona, Patri, Cata, Eva N, Lucia, Pina

England:

Doms: Millie B, Mary E, Alex G, Millie T, Coombsy, Lucy S, Rachel

Subs: Lucy B, Keira, Esme, Leah, Georgia, Ellie, Hannah, Beth E, Beth M, Fran, Lauren, Ella, Lessi, Missy Bo

Sweden:

Doms: Magda, Olivia, Frido, Amanda, JRK, Linda S, Amanda N, Sofia J, Caroline, Elin, Rebecka

Subs: Hanna B, Asllani, Lina H, Stina, Nathalie, Filippa, Jonna, Anna S, Matilda V, Stina B, Julia Z, Emma

Australia:

Doms: Mini, Lani, Emily VE, Tameka, Kyah, Emily G

Subs: Macca, Sam, Ellie, Steph, Charli, Clare, Mary, Kyra, Chloe, Teagan, Caitlin, Hayley, Courtney N

Oranje:

Doms: Sherida, Dominique, Shanice, Merel

Subs: Danielle (Switch), Lynn, Viv, Lieke, Jackie, Jill, Damaris, Esmee, Daphne, Kerstin

Germany:

Doms: Melanie, Popp, Svenja, Lina, Sara, Linda, AKB

Subs: Obi, Jule, Giulia, Merle, Klara, Laura, Sydney, Lea, Feliciats, Sjoeke, Sara D

Ireland

Doms: Denise O’Sullivan, Louise Q, Courtney Brosnan, Caitlin H, Diane C, Niamh F, Heather P

Subs: Katie M, Megan Connolly, Amber, Claire O’R, Abbie Larkin, Izzy Atkinson, Lucy Q, Ruesha L, Grace M, Jamie F, Megan Campbell, Kyra Carusa, Anna P

Canada

Doms: Cloé L, Adriana L, Janine B (switch), Kadeisha B, Allysha C, Melissa Dagenais, Ashley L, Bianca SG, Nichelle P, Kailen S, Desiree S, Shelina Z

Subs: Jordyn H, Quinn, Jessie F, Sab, Julia G, Marie-Yasmine, Amanda A, Simi, Tanya, Gabrielle C, Sydney C, Rylee F, Vanessa G, Anna K, Devon K, Clarissa L, Marie L, Jordyn L, Lysianne P, Emma R, Deanne R, Jade Rose, Jayde R, Zoe B, Victoria Pickett, Olivia S, Sarah S, Evelyn S, Sura Y

Norway

Doms: Ada (switch), Ingrid, Maren M, Guro P, Guro B, Maria T, Tuva H

Subs: Guro R, Frida, Caroline, Aurora, Vilde, Thea, Celin, Julie B, Lisa N, Elisabeth T, Sophie H

Scotland

Doms: Lisa E, Kirsty S, Rachel C, Jenna F, Lee G, Jenna C, Hayley L, Jane R

Subs: Sam K, Erin C, Kirsty H, Nicola D, Sandy M, Sophie H, Leah E, Christy G, Jamie-Lee, Brogan H, Jennifer S, Amy R, Chelsea C, Fiona B, Martha T, Claire E, Lauren D

USA

Alyssa Naeher (Dom), Jane Campbell (Dom), Aubrey Kingsbury (Sub, Jane), Casey Murphy (sub, Alyssa)

Tierna Davidson (sub, Andi), Emily Fox (sub, Alex), Naomi Girma (sub, Alex), Casey Krueger (Dom), Jenna Nighswonger (sub, Crystal), Emily Sonnett (sub, Lindsey), Sam Staab (switch)

Sam Coffey (Dom), Hal Hershfelt (sub, Andi), Lindsey Horan (Dom), Rose Lavelle (sub, Lindsey)

Crystal Dunn (Dom), Catarina Macario (Sub, Lynn), Alex Morgan (Dom), Trinity Rodman (sub, Hatch/Sofia), Jaedyn Shaw (sub, Abby D), Sophia Smith (sub, Becky), Mallory Swanson (switch, Christen)

Ashley Sanchez (sub, Hatch/Sofia), Ashley Hatch (switch, Sofia), Becky Sauerbrunn (Dom), Abby D (Dom), Lynn W (Dom), Olivia Moultrie (sub, Becky), Alyssa Thompson (sub, Christen), Midge Purce (sub, Alex), Kristie Mewis (sub, Lynn), Sav DeMelo (switch, Jane), Andi Sullivan (Dom), Alana Cook (sub, Sofia), Sofia Huerta (Dom), Tobin Heath (Sub, Christen), Christen Press (Dom)

#the NT submissions

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esmaxdemirci · 5 months

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[cisfemale, she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [ESMA DEMIRCI]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [PINAR DENIZ]. You must be the [TWENTY NINE] year old [WAITSTAFF AT FOUR LEAF IRISH PUB]. Word is you’re [INDEPENDENT] but can also be a bit [MANIPULATIVE] and your favorite song is [SWEETEST PIE BY MEGAN THEE STALLION & DUA LIPA]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [FISHERS COVE]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

@aurorabayaesthetic

pinterest & spotify

tw: abuse mention, miscarriage, car accident, cheating, drugs

stats

name: esma demirci

nicknames: n/a

age: twenty nine

faceclaim: pinar deniz

occupation: waitress @ four leaf irish pub

gender: cis female

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: pansexual

birthday: november 4th 1994

sign: scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo rising

ethnicity: arab

hometown: aurora bay

eye color: green

hair color: dark brown

height: 5'6"

tattoos: coming soon

piercings: coming soon

likes - dislikes- headcanons-

biography:

Chaos didn't always follow around Esma and her twin sister Isra. It all started when the girls were five. Their mother had always been slightly erratic, but when their father caught her having an affair with one of his best friends? He couldn't stand it anymore. Knowing Esma was the strongest of the pair, he left her and took Isra with him. This ended up with Esma taking on her mother's verbal abuse, and her mom turning to alcohol. Eventually, she remarried and her stepfather was just as bad.

As she grew into her teen years, Esma began attention seeking, drinking, drugs, and hanging out with people she shouldn’t. Her mother began to get fed up with her, kicking her out when she was 16. This caused her to drop out of high school, couch surfing at her best friend's place; his laid-back parents kindly let her. But it was trouble, she was slowly falling for his girlfriend, and she was falling for her too. It wasn’t very long before they were sneaking around together and she was stuck in some very messy affair that carried on for nearly two years. Funnily enough, it had been the only bit of stability that Esma had ever had.

Tragedy struck when he got into a car accident and passed away on the scene. The girls had been together that night so when they heard the news they both felt an immense amount of guilt. Esma was unable to contain it; hitching a ride to San Fransisco and never looking back. She had no money, no nothing, but being somewhat street smart, Esma broke into an empty apartment to live in while she tried to build up some cash. It wasn’t long until she was caught and kicked out so she had to find a new plan.

Esma still spent most of her time drinking and doing drugs, anything to escape the grief she’d endured over the last couple of years. Finding different bodies to fill the void, until she came across a chef who worked at one of San Fran’s most prestigious restaurants. He was older than her, he had money, and he seemed nice enough so she went home with him, charming her way into his life. It was only six weeks later she was staring at a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom of his restaurant. It was positive and he was thrilled. Esma couldn’t really picture herself as a mother but her life had been flipped upside down, maybe now she was finally going to feel some sort of happiness. He flew her to Vegas and they got married.

Only a short time went by before it all started crumbling. Esma experienced a late-term miscarriage shortly after their wedding day. Things turning more sour than they ever could have with her new husband blaming everything on her. Esma had always been strong but not anymore, not after this. She began to believe the words he fed her. It wasn’t long before he was laying hands on her either. She was miserable. When Esma had enough instead of leaving she began to retaliate. This carried on for years until she couldn’t take it anymore, when she found out he got his mistress pregnant, it was over. Esma cooked her husband a nice dinner and laced it with rat poison, then once he was knocked out, she went to the nearest ATM, to withdraw all the money in their joint account, winding back up in Aurora Bay.

The first thing she did was find a house in Fishers Cove and the next thing she did was find a job at the Four Leaf Irish pub, hoping to forget about everything she had endured. With too much evidence against him, she knew he wouldn't come looking for her. She finally felt strong again.

current & wanted connections:

will update this shortly!

#aurorabay.intro #tw: car crash #tw: abuse mention #tw: miscarrige #tw: drugs #tw: cheating #don't mind me

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aftermidnightfmk · 8 months

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Guests

Part 1: January 16, 2025 through April 10, 2024

Tumblr limits posts to 100 links, thus the necessity of splitting of the Guests page into parts. It is inconvenient, yes. Click here for a list of all parts.

Alphabetical by last name, unless they don't have a surname, in which case, good luck.

Looking for the host? Try the Taylor Tomlinson tag.

Is a name misspelled? Link broken? Dear god, please tell me.

Please note: “kill” choices are (usually) not tagged. Therefore the links below may not be inclusive of every guest’s appearance on After Midnight.

Marcella Arguello

Maria Bamford

Suzi Barrett

W. Kamau Bell

Doug Benson

Ashley Nicole Black

Flula Borg

Wayne Brady

Guy Branum

Matt Braunger

Kurt Braunohler

Sophie Buddle

Reggie Conquest

Kelsey Cook

Affion Crockett

Whitney Cummings

Jon Daly

Chad Daniels

James Davis

Bianca Del Rio

Billy Eichner

Jackie Fabulous

Fortune Feimster

Jourdain Fisher

Chris Fleming

Ron Funches

Jon Gabrus

Megan Gailey

Lisa Gilroy

Vanessa Gonzalez

Chris Grace

Max Greenfield

Rob Haze

John Hodgman

Robby Hoffman

Pete Holmes

Sandy Honig

Rob Huebel

London Hughes

Brendan Hunt

Josh Johnson

Joyelle Nicole Johnson

Zainab Johnson

Anjelah Johnson-Reyes

Amir K

Moshe Kasher

Jackie Kashian

Laurie Kilmartin

Joel Kim Booster

Kyle Kinane

Nick Kocher

Nish Kumar

Lauren Lapkus

Natasha Leggero

Thomas Lennon

Dan Levy

Riki Lindhome

Loni Love

Marc Maron

Jack Martin

Mae Martin

Brian McElhaney

Wendi McLendon-Covey

Liz Miele

Will Miles

Amy Miller

Kel Mitchell

Arden Myrin

Aparna Nancherla

Purple Necktie

Dustin Nickerson

Tig Notaro

Jerry O'Connell

Atsuko Okatsuka

Taylor Ortega

Haley Joel Osment

Adam Pally

Caitlin Peluffo

Dewayne Perkins

Pink Foxx

Esther Povitsky

Jeff Probst

Chloe Radcliffe

Mary Lynn Rajskub

Adam Ray

Caroline Rhea

Rob Riggle

Phoebe Robinson

Matt Rogers

Giulia Rozzi

Nico Santos

Anna Seregina

Jason Sklar

Randy Sklar

Dusty Slay

Dulcé Sloan

Kevin Smith

Blair Socci

Beth Stelling

Carl Tart

Jordan Temple

Chris Thayer

Vinny Thomas

Sarah Tiana

Greta Titelman

Paul F. Tompkins

Shane Torres

Zach Noe Towers

Irene Tu

Milana Vayntrub

Melissa Villaseñor

Trevor Wallace

Matt Walsh

Reggie Watts

Mo Welch

Maggie Winters

Monét X Change

Sasheer Zamata

Jenny Zigrino

Zach Zimmerman

#site page #guests

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thelashjedi · 2 years

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Thanks for tagging me @alexandra-emerson -- I am also going to try not to mess this up!

___________________________________________________________

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs. (You can make your own post or reblog this one!) I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? Dnd campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!

__________________________________________________________

All of the WIP files currently living in my Scrivener are too many for this post, but here are the ones that actually have legs:

Age Gap Dramione/Widowed Draco/[redacted] Hermione

Seventh Time's a Charm (Divorced Hermione/Desparate to Marry Draco)

Amor Primus - Dramione, whoops we accidentally got married

Is Now a Good TIme? (Dramione)

Concessions (Dramione, Amends one-shot sequel)

No, Seriously. What is happening? (A/B/O just shows up in universe post war)

The Set-Up (Harmony, Secret Relationship)

Join if you'd like! @gloivy @megan-p-cook @sodamnradd @caitybellfics @siriusempra @chaoticcrumpets @darkofthemoonfic

#harmony #dramione #wips

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dinoalexander · 2 years

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YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN: THE WORLD FAMOUS SEMI-QUOTABLE 2022 QUOTEDOWN QUOTETACULAR

Ladies and gentlemen and multiforms across seven star systems. It is an honor, a privilege, and a pleasure to inform you that READER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED.

With that said, the World-Famous Get Down Like a Hound Party ‘til You Puke Semi-Quotable 2022 Quotedown Quotetacular is live in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… BEGUN!

—

“I’m not people, I’m your brother!” -C

“Now that Jeff Bezos owns Whole Foods, it’s more like two cans.” -Klauss

“F 2021 in its poop chute.” -Carl

“Kim, if I ever go into that drawer, always assume it’s for a fork.” -C, on a coworker’s junk drawer with plastic cutlery and… feminine hygiene products on full display.

“The 2020s need to go into time out and think about what they did.” -Q

“Chose the right week to choose my wife over trivia.” -Dave

“A bemusing coincidence that we lose Howard Hesseman on the same day the football team from Cincinnati does their best impression of a flock of turkeys being dropped from a helicopter...” -Justin

“… come on, girl. You saw ‘Set It Off’.” -C

“The groundhog saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks until the Times puts Wordle behind a paywall.” -Justin

“It Was a Thing a YouTube Dipshit Did With Too Much Money.” -Klauss

“I’M A BAAAAAAAAD MAAAAAAAAN!” -C on a Big Brain 12K

He's a D*ck - Gordon

You know I don't use that language - Bonnie

P*nis? - Gordon

No - Bonnie

Flapping piece of soft cartilage? - Gordon

.....- Bonnie

"Hey, didn't you used to be Antonio Brown?" -Justin

“Remember if you’re not having fun while you’re cooking, you’re just making food.” -Alvin Zhou

“The more I thought about swinging by Food Lion, grabbing a steak and a pack of risotto, the more I thought… I don’t want to cook, and even if I did, the kitchen is in no condition to be trifled with.” -C

“It’s not fitting in the hole” -Ken

“That’s what she said.” -Dan

“The group had a six-titty tour.” -Jonathan Oakes

“I’m stuck between namaste and kiss my ass.” -Craig Shoemaker

“The word of the day...is Thwomphammer.” -G

“They are trying to get Alabama in SO BAD. if Alabama gets in it's megacans.fuckyou.wav.” -J

“Y’all re-awoke a fire in me that will only make me stronger and I’m beyond excited to unleash that demon again to exponential levels on any OPP that lines up across from me next season.” -Eli Apple

“Hold on. Gordon’s plant is being naughty again.” -C

“Typed a 2,000 word reply to an email. Edited it down to 1,000 words. Edited it down to 500 words. Edited it down to 12 words. Hit send. Felt really good to type the 2,000 words, though.” -Kevin

“I’ve lost my appetite… and perhaps my will to live.” -C, on Q’s textcapades

“If it’s Beverly Crusher, we’re in trouble. If it’s Wesley Crusher, we may be okay.” -Benny

“When I am rich… you’re getting therapy, you’re getting therapy, you’re getting DOUBLE therapy. EVERYBODY’S HEALING.” -Deborah’s reel

“Man this is a Howie Mandel-hosted show on Netflix!” -Jay

“Before you guys put me in a chat, can you solve this problem by looking at policy?” -C

“Today I learned Måneskin isn’t the porn version of the 1980s classic Mannequin.” -Klauss

“Walk into the club like whaddup I got a oh god oh no wrong building I’m so sorry continue with your funeral god bless.” -TJ’s shirt

“I’ll try being nicer when you try being smarter.” -Tara

“Ta-DOW! … did that word just come out of my mouth?” -C

“We’re not going to beat Abraham Lincoln’s poop today.” -Megan

“I’m the blue one.” -Benny

“You don’ look like David Yost to me!” -C

“I’m gonna feed you. I don’t know you but I’m gonna feed you.” -?.. somebody

“Interesting fact: The world population will pass 8 billion sometime in the next few hours.” -Bruce

“Nick Cannon at it again?” -Jenny M

“Not gonna make it this year because I haven’t said anything particularly funny. My writers are on strike for better living conditions and improved food in the commissary. I told them they’d still have to share a room and they were gonna eat whatever their mother cooked.” -Daniel

“Uber driver:”I was a contestant on The Price is Right four years ago!”

Me: “Yeah? How’d you do?”

(Surprisingly long, uncomfortable silence)

Uber driver: “Bitch bid a dollar more.”” -Adam

“Irish nachos… 0/10. Would not recommend. I don’t think the cheese was even cheese. Might’ve been something from Flippy’s Gas ‘N Gulp.” -C

“And last night he was all “no I haven’t decided yet.” Even Brett Favre was like “this goddamned prick.”” -Greg, on Tom Brady’s retirement.

(Phlebotomist brings in labs when it’s time for us to go)

“… WHAT, YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?!” -C

“Yay Albania!” -Tommy

“Use the toilet now or forever hold your pee.” -Frontier stewardess

“NERD SHIT!” -C & Phillip

“Tom Brady is the human version of Herpes.” -Blaze

“Oh CURSE WORD!” -C

“We have standards.” -Ken

“Finally!” -Benny

“I'm going to fail 30 times. It sounds like my dating life." -Klauss

“Rename the Washington Football Team the Gotham Rogues, because our stadium looks like Bane just left.” -Mark Ellis

“Give a man glitter, he glitters for a lifetime. Teach a man to glitter, he ALSO glitters for a lifetime. That's just how glitter works.” -Heather

“Shut the fuck up, Fay Vincent.” -Greg

“My computer locked up in computer jail. Come save a biiiiiiitch!” -Gena

“The big 69 ROFLMAO - Gordon Pepper Commissioner. Every game is nice.” -J

“Normal Québécois is dirty French. BOOK SAY SO.” -C

“You know what, sure the Vols lost this week...but you know who I feel bad for? America's fairweather college football fans...every one of them has had the staggering realization that, sadly, they are going to have to start rooting for Georgia...again.” -Brian

13: “Time loop.”

Yaz: “Time loop.”

Dan: “Groundhog Day.”

-from “Eve of the Daleks”

Paul Heyman: “Ladies and Gentlemen… my name is Paul Heyman, and I am the #Advocate for the…”

VRM: “QUARTERBACK FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS…”

Paul Heyman: “… BRRRROCK…”

VRM: “PURDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Carmelo Anthony… going from missing the lay-in to missing the play-in.” -Shaq

“You’re in their DMs. We’re in them. We are not the same.” -Tampax

“You’ve been hanging out with us too much.” -C

“Or not enough!” -Brian

“My next door neighbor told me her dogs Zeus and Xena had an “accidental breeding” and Xena is going to have puppies at the end of April. I’m thinking, you can’t name a dog Zeus and NOT expect him to impregnate all the bitches!” -Megan

“In case you're wondering if the automatic closed captioning on YouTube is good enough, please remember that it once thought I said, "I'm going to Popeyes while I pick up some great sex on the internet."

Obviously that's ridiculous. It was Raising Cane's.” -Wingo

“Charlie Cox plays Daredevil, you idiot!” -C to Jay as James May

“I laughed. LORD, HOW I LAUGHED.” -Liz

“First progress report (too tired to do anything last night) One hour in and three cars prime gives me a nice $120 profit. Now to run to the boys room and figure out what my next move is.” -C

“Royal flush.” -Carl

“Do you care to udder that again?” -Austin Rogers #callback

“I don’t drink Pumpkin Spice Latte before October 1. I don’t do my holiday shopping before Thanksgiving. I’m an American, dammit!” -Jay

“Autocorrect can be a real piece of shut.” -Doug

“Carl has the football.” -C

“Let us know when Carl has the sporting goods store.” -Jay

“Quisla what’s wrong? Do you have hemorrhoids? Do I have to pray for your ass?” -Adam

“Isn’t That Girl Lay Lay just That’s So Raven with artificial intelligence instead of magic psychic powers?” -C

“We are stumbling through this class like a flock of angry, feral geese, and that's ok!”

-TJ, describing how we're going to think about queer theory and that it's tough and scary and uncomfortable.

““Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'” “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'” “Is it common?”“Well, It's Not Unusual.”” -Brian

“Q: What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? A: 671 Hallmark movies.” -Lollie

“I’m firing up my 43-inch…. TV.” -Jay, on 4/20

“Southwest is the worst of the American air carriers, except for all of the others.” -Scott

“So @Chico I have beef with Duke now.” -Kim

“‘On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your pain level?’ MOTHERFUCKING 15!” -Q

“Ummmm the United States also has a big glass pyramid... with a Bass Pro Shops in it.” -Danielle

“I don’t want to feel like king shit while washing my undies.” -C, pondering the cost of a new washer/dryer

“What the colonized Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon did I just watch?!” -Kim

“The league controls the narrative. NFL Network (Will Forte) is the cuck in the buttfucking between Roger Goodell (Laurence Fishburne) and Tom Brady (Kristin Wiig).” -Klauss

“TOILET OF HOLDING!” -Chico

“I remember this thing being a thing.” -Austin Rogers

TIM: "Well, the big sports news today is that Russell Wilson has been traded."

ME: "Is he the guy that they named the footballs after?"

TIM: "....No."

ME: "Then he must not have been that good."

And that's today in "Talking with Adam about Sports."

“First pregnancy: I’ve never felt more beautiful, thinking about the little miracle growing inside of me. It’s such a blessing! Second pregnancy: … never doing this again.” -Manuela Arbeláez

“My in-house normal is borderline illegal.” -C

“Lionel Goldbart and Barbara Lowe in one room. No wonder nobody had a tape of it, everyone’s TV exploded.” -Ben

“Scott Hanson is definitely the Ryan Seacrest to Andrew Siciliano’s Brian Dunkleman.” -Awful Announcing comment

“I expected to be disappointed. I was indeed disappointed.” -D

“This came up today. Sympathy is personally having experienced similar sucktitude such that you can have an emotional memory when someone else's circumstances suck. Empathy is recognizing that some else is going through something sucky. Compassion is one of the above PLUS feeling a desire to solve the suck for that other person. I have heard a few people say they have lost their empathy. I guarantee you haven't. You have just stopped trying to solve other people's lives; that is a growth step not a failure.” -Jenni

“My deep and abiding knowledge of pantyhose comes in handy again.” -Jay

“I’m not a fan of this lineup. It’s not great. Not great at all.” -C

“NOT GREAT, BOB!” -Benny

“Congratulations to Jimmy Garoppolo on replacing Dr Fauci as Aaron Rodgers’ least favorite Italian” - Richard Staff

Dave Pasch: "Is he aware that you played for the Boston Celtics?"

Bill Walton: "I have no idea. Did I?"

Pasch: "You did win Sixth Man of the Year."

Walton: "Which means I was Larry Bird's valet. Which means my job was to tell Larry what time the game started."

“I worked with Howard Hesseman a bit in the early 70s. I’m paraphrasing: “I bought a set of leather luggage today. It looks new now, but 25 years from now I’ll have a set of groovy luggage.” - Steve Martin

“Odell Beckham now has as many Super Bowl touchdowns as respected former NFL tight end Aaron Hernandez.

A great honor.” - Barry McCockiner

“Hey Shohei Ohtani is doing these amazing things.....and the Angels are losing again" - Gary Cohen

“Late night television is still selling nonstick cookware as if it’s 1975 and this is somehow a new invention.” - Tom Nichols

“Every G-D website I go to I click “Accept Cookies”-- and how many cookies have I actually received? Zero. Zero cookies.” - Rainn Wilson

"Tom Stone who looks an awful lot like Mike Scott of the Houston Astros. Maybe if he was scuffing the ring, he would have a better chance in some of these matches." - Peter Winston

“Recently heard a newscaster say, “Today is National Bring Your Dog to Work Day. Which is, of course, a made-up holiday.” And I thought, “Aren’t all holidays made-up?” - Gerard Mulligan

“My arts & entertainment Spidey-sense is going mad! But I swear I thought it was Phantom.” -Q

“Yeah I’m that bitch that cut you off. Fuck you and your mama.” -Mary on her personalized license plate

“I believe it was Gonzaga who said… “(makes gagging, gasping, and choking noises)”” -C

“That would be my fat ass.” -… somebody on TikTok

“If I haven't made the wall yet, I'm not going too, so I'm going to just spew unintelligible gibberish for the remainder of the day. This is no different than my regular programming.” -Erskine

"He should be Admiral Crunch by now. He's been delivering deliciousness for quite some time and surely is due for a promotion." -Howard

“Tent poles, everywhere. Tent poles.” -Shannon

“Turducken for everyone!” -Carl

“You’re too concentrated on listicle! Just answer the question!” -C

“It's more difficult to give away a couch than I remember!” -J. Keith

“Congratulations to Dusty Baker. His team can kiss my Halo fan rectum.” -JVG

“Challenging me for money in bowling is a good way for me to have all my food and gas paid for for my trip to Virginia.” -Gordon

“Behold, our all-purpose emergency preparedness medical contingency chest. Or as I like to call it… The doomsday box.” -C

“Or as I like to call it… The Oh-Shit Kit.” -Q

“Briar patch, me, some assembly required.” -David

“Why does every NFT look like a Digimon villain?” -Trevor Williams

“So when is the series finale of Twitter?” -BFG

“If people ask me why there was a strike that led to no postseason in 1994, I simply answer that with the same answer I have to “How did the Twins and Braves make the World Series in 1991?” “How and why did the Marlins beat the Indians in the 1997 World Series?” “How and why did Florida and Arizona get baseball teams while Washington didn’t?” and other logic-defying baseball questions from that decade, and that answer is simply… “Because it was the ’90s.”” -Ian

“The best worst team name of the night… “The Odds of Chico Showing Up for Trivia Again Are 3720 to 1”.” -Richard

“(running into the pub) Never tell me the odds!” -Chico

(Someone has a problem with Mayim Bialik referring to the Jeopardy! Round as “Single Jeopardy!”)

“As a great American would ask, “Why the BLEEP is this news?”” -Doug

“"We Paid A Freelancer To Say A Thing You Like ls Bad Because The Google/Facebook Duopoly Ate The Whole Digital Ad Market And Now Harvesting Hate Clicks Is The Only Viable Business Model For Online Media" That’s why.” -C

“"It's good it's good it's good that was good I just wanna do it one more time..." -The Andrew Garfield story, I love him so much

The milkshake take was our last of the day, btw, costume and hair depts were ready :)” -LMM

“Rorrie Travis. Beast Morphers Red Ranger. It’s funny you said you got replaced… by Barack Obama… because, uh… you kinda were.” -Russell Curry, Dino Fury Red and Obama lookalike.

“It’s so cold outside, people are going to Five Below just to warm up a bit.” -Matty

“Drinking a pink drink with sugar on the rim. I don’t know if you notice this but… I’m a girl.” -Q

“I know I am not supposed to attribute to malice what can easily be explained by stupidity. But that woman strikes me as the kind of person who is both malicious and stupid!“ -C

“Every time I watch the Winter Olympics, I just think how life used to be so miserable and boring in these cold countries that they invented a bunch of sports that were like "how can we find ways to DIE".” -Lynn

“Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.” -Ken

“I have half a mind to start casually referring to the first round as Single Jeopardy! Just to trigger a bitch.” -C

“Hard drinks with people who want to get drunk!” -Megan quoting “Its a Wonderful Life”

“I’m gonna have to start drinking at 11.” -Jamie C. - talking about WrestleMania Day 1

“Somewhere Brett Favre is watching Aaron Rodgers and saying “This jackass…”” -C

“I've said it before and I'll say it again: DHL could fuck up the delivery of a shit from an asshole to the toilet bowl...” -Justin

“BE BETTER NOT BITTER YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH.” -Sheiky

“Give me five. I have to pee.” -G

“To the white cat who decided to tear ass down the cross street leading to my home as my bumper moved menacingly close: 1) This is not "The Cube." Dwyane Wade is not going to give you nine lives to fritter away. Clearly a human is concerned about you. 2) Go home. You were lucky.” -Evil Travis

“I’ve done everything I could possibly do. WAIT! (Does some extra stuff) There. NOW I’ve done everything I could possibly do.” -C

“Rebuke them in the name of Black Jesus.” -Tricia, re: her travel tech agency

“If you still simp for that manchild (ed: you know the one. -C) please feel free to find some 4 letter words and go do them to yourself.” -Chelsea

“Whoa! Where in the world did that come from, Carmen Sandiego?” -C

“‘Netflix making a sequel to A Christmas Prince saved 2018.’ … well, someone had to.” -Rose McIver

"Those look like uteruses. In fact, that looks like what my uterus does to me every month." -Trina, on Activision Boxing

“Don’t do ho shit during the summer.” -C

“We can afford shit now we adults!” -Melissa

“Hmmm… Hot Pot Spot. Dibs on that for a pop-up restaurant name.” -C

“I was talking to the golf coach. He said they were going to Hawaii, but they couldn’t practice because of all the snow. I told them… ‘Gotta get up to par!’” -Sarah

“INSP goes full cowboy. Here’s the thing that gets me tho… “The textured hat represents salt-of-the-earth people with heart and soul, who have put in a hard day’s work.” You, marketing EVP Hayes Tauber, are full of shit.” -C

“Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this Son of York...and now a brief word from Imperial margarine.” -Brian

Sonic Whammy: I have a question on the Covid tests...does it hurt?

Gordon: Well, sometimes, it's a light swab, and sometimes they jam it up your nose and take out a piece of your brain. In either case, for you it will feel exactly the same and you won't feel anything.

Chappy: “Little short until pay day.”

C: “I too am a little short until payday. Once payday hits I’ll still be short, but at least I can foot bills.”

“I learned that with game shows that if you want to get involved, you have to ask.” -TV’s Ryan Vickers

“The Jets will forever be the team that made Antonio Brown quit football.” -@TheJetPress

“It’s either streak or stink.” -C

“Remember, it's, "Goddamnit, JB."” -Ethan

“Remember, if you’re not having fun while playing trivia, you’re just answering questions.” -C, with apologies to Alvin Zhou

“I guess I wasn’t funny this year.” -Ken

—-

Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again… your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant.

Here’s to 2023. And as always, come together, just think of tomorrow.

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gloivy · 2 years

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the music tag game

challenge: choose an artist you like and use the names of their songs to answer this as close to the truth as possible!

i was tagged by @venom0usbarbie <3

artist: Mother Mother

1. What is your gender? Girl Alone

2. Describe yourself: Very Good Bad Thing

3. How do you feel? Dance And Cry

4. If you could go anywhere, where would it be? To The Wild

5. Describe your best friend: Pure Love

6. Your favourite time of day: Give Me Back The Night

7. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? The Cry Forum

8. What is life to you? Life

9. Relationship status: Alone And Sublime

10. What do you fear? Waiting For The World To End

Tagging @pumchalacapum and @megan-p-cook

#tag game #mother mother #this was HARD why was this so hard

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beekeepingfiji · 5 months

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Pacific Islands World Bee Day 2024 Photo Contest Winners

New Post has been published on https://www.beekeepingfiji.com/?p=5291

Pacific Islands World Bee Day 2024 Photo Contest Winners

Four impartial judges evaluated the 33 photos entered. The scores from each judge were added together to determine the contest winners.

The winners of FBA’s 2024 World Bee Day photo contest are:

1st Place, overall and Bees in Nature category: Wahid Malawiya of Fiji for “Sufyaan and Swarm”

2nd Place, overall and Bees in Nature category: Arneth Jamepa of Papua New Guinea for “Bee on Zinnia”

3rd Place, overall and 1st in the Value of Bees and Beekeeping category: Atrul Nisha of Fiji for “Youth Honey Harvest”

The competition was close. An honourable mention to Joshua Prasad (Fiji), Tia McCay Prasad (Fiji), Debra Allan (Tonga), Alistair Macquarie (Cook), Uili Lousi (Tonga), and Eleutilde Vainikolo (Tonga) for their high scores in the judging.

Sufyaan and Swarm. 1st Place, overall and Bees in Nature category: Wahid Malawiya of Fiji

2nd Place, overall and Bees in Nature category: Arneth Jamepa of Papua New Guinea for “Bee on Zinnia”

3rd Place, overall and 1st in the Value of Bees and Beekeeping category: Atrul Nisha of Fiji for “Youth Honey Harvest

The top two overall photos will be submitted to Apimondia’s worldwide photography competition in Copenhagen, Denmark, September next year. A few top photos will also be sent to local news media to accompany May 20 World Bee Day articles.

Thanks to all participants for entering and sharing to beauty of bees and beekeeping in your photos. There were 15 photos (out of 33 judged) that received at least one positive mention from the judges.

The photo judges were:

Maureen Conquer – Apimondia’s New Zealand representative and professional honey taster

Megan Denver – Apimondia’s Rural Development Commission chairperson

Jodie Goldsworthy – Apimondia Australia representative and owner of Beechworth Honey.

Cooper Schouten – Senior Research Fellow and Director of Bees for Sustainable Livelihoods, Southern Cross University

World Bee Day is designated by the United Nations and observed annually on May 20. It raises awareness about the essential role that bees and other pollinators play in maintaining healthy ecosystems.

This photo contest was organized by Apimondia’s Oceania Commission and Fiji Farmer to Farmer.

Thank you, contestants and judges, for your participation in this year’s World Bee Day competition. Enjoy the photos!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/548271995527538

0 notes

casspurrjoybell-33 · 7 months

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Wreckless - Congratulations

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

Last night was amazing even though I don't know what came over me.

I apologized to Emmett this morning for being an asshole... that's not me.

I had a crap-tastic day at work and shouldn't have taken it out on him but I was just worn out.

Emmett handled that and me, beautifully.

I feel much better today.

It's 10:34 and I haven't killed anyone yet.

See?

Better.

This morning, as I was grabbing one of the healthy granola bars that Emmett stocks for me, I saw his letter.

I didn't mean to spy, it was just laying right next to my breakfast basket.

Maybe he wanted me to see it or maybe he was just busy when he served dinner and just got it out of the way.

Either way, I saw it.

So tonight, we celebrate.

It's his day off and I'm going to do whatever I have to do to be out of here by six p.m..

He's not cooking tonight... I'm taking my man out.

Finnegan Walker: Hey Emmett, I wanna take you out to dinner tonight. Does a seven p.m. reservation work for you?

It takes him longer than I expect.

Emmett Locke: Not necessary, darling.

Finnegan Walker: But I want to. Please?

Megan told me about an amazing place down at the harbor.

In the harbor?

At the inner harbor?

I have no idea what to call it.

Top notch food and I had her check... no jacket required.

I know he loves seafood and getting accepted into this program deserves something special.

Emmett Locke: Alright, meet you there?

Finnegan Walker: Nope, I'll come home and change. No jacket but no sandals or shorts either, sorry.

Emmett Locke: Better be good food. Just us?

Finnegan Walker: Of course. Gotta run.

My day flies.

Yesterday we started work on another Dept of Defence bid and I'm having issues with one of my suppliers.

The machines I need are made by very few companies and getting everything I need, when I need it, is proving difficult.

I have a deadline.

A very large, very important deadline.

Everything needs to fall into place.

I am in my car at 5:58 p.m. and home by 6:20 p...

I walk in and get out of my jacket and tie.

"Emmett?"

He's not down here.

"Upstairs. Welcome home darling."

Good.

I head up and find him on the bed with his laptop.

On his screen is a gorgeous view that I recognize.

"The beach."

"Yeah. Sorry, didn't realize it was so late."

He closes the screen and slowly stands... he's been sitting there awhile and it's evident by how stiff he is.

"So, I need pants."

"You do. I'm leaving on these and just changing my shirt but you can do jeans and a Henley, whatever you want."

He kisses me, then informs met that...

"I do actually have some dress clothes."

See, I don't.

I guess 'dress clothes' to me would be my tux but that's just black tie.

I have clothes and casual clothes.

Either way, he's pulling on a dark pair of slacks that are nice.

Really nice.

"I'll even wear buttons but don't get too used to it."

He has a pretty checked shirt that goes well and it makes his shoulders look scrumptious.

If I don't get out of here now to grab a shirt we may not make it.

I let him drive because ick, traffic and I have no idea where I'm going.

He follows the GPS and we're early until we have to find a place to park.

Still, we walk in just a minute or two late.

"I've never been here," he tells me.

"But I've heard they have great seafood."

"Same," I tell him and that earns me a smile.

Once we've ordered drinks and an appetizer, I decide to congratulate him.

"I saw your letter. I'm really proud of you Emmett. Congratulations."

It takes him a second, maybe he didn't mean for me to see it.

"Oh, yeah, thanks. It's a cool little program and I never thought I'd get in."

"So tell me about it."

"Not much to say. They do some workshops, courses and stuff and then an exhibition. People can show old stuff and a few new things they do in the class. Maybe I'll hit the show if I can."

Huh?

In what world is there an 'if'?

Does 'hit the show' mean something other than 'attend the exhibition'?

"I'm confused."

"By what, darling?"

"Why wouldn't you be there? You know, showing your amazing pictures?"

"I can't go, Finnegan. Gonna decline the invite."

Oooh, must tread carefully.

This is gonna be touchy.

"Sorry. I assumed you would. Therefore, celebratory dinner. I... I'm sorry you can't. If there's anything I can do..."

A look.

"What's that look for?"

"It's handled, okay? It's fine."

And then I'm pretty sure I hear him say...

"Besides, it's not art anyway..."

But I'm not sure and I let it go because our calamari arrives and he digs right in like he's starving.

I think he's trying to avoid the conversation and maybe I should drop it.

I just don't get it.

"Can I ask why you're not doing it?"

Another look.

"Only if you don't tell me you'll wave your magic wand and fix it."

"No one's ever called it that before," I tease.

"You've probably heard it though, yours is very nice."

"My God, Finnegan. Stop. Okay. I'm not doing it because I'd have to take two weeks off work and that's not gonna happen. Plus, you may be moving. I may be... who knows."

"Okay."

Valid concerns, I guess.

I know the real answer, he's not going because of his pride.

"Well if you reconsider I'm happy to help, either monetarily or otherwise. Not sure I can take your place at work though."

That earns me a smile.

"What I wouldn't pay to see you and Tristan manning Wrecked. That would be funny. So, how was your day?"

And that's it, subject dropped.

I want to smack him upside the head but instead we talk and eat more food than any two people ever should.

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