#meta as a closet idol fan will always make me happy

[kittyprincessofcats]

Stepping away from Harry Potter

Melina Pendulum, Lindsay Ellis and Dominic Noble’s respective videos about quitting Harry Potter or why the concept of “Death of the Author” can’t really be applied in this case gave me a lot to think about.

Harry Potter has been a huge part of my life growing up. And even not too long ago, I was one of the people who still bent over backwards to justify some of JKR’s bullshit. Only 4 years ago, I went to see the Cursed Child in London two weeks after its opening, and made my brother a Hogwarts acceptance letter for his 11th birthday. (I could go on with other important memories in my life that are somehow connected to Harry Potter, but that list would get way too long and we don’t have all day. The point is - these books were a very big influence in my life.)

After JKR’s general shittyness became more and more obvious even for someone who idolized her as much as I did, I started to distance myself and expressed my disappointment in her over the years - and as much as I want to say it didn’t taint my love of the series itself, it did. I just couldn’t find the same joy in it anymore, and the only HP related things I still really enjoyed were Hogwarts Mystery and the works of fan creators like The Mischief Managers.

Now that JKR has completely gone full-blown TERF, I really wasn’t sure what to do at first. I thought I could separate art from the artist. I thought I could simply still enjoy Harry Potter guilt-free, while not supporting JK Rowling financially anymore (meaning: no movie tickets, no more merch or books, nothing that could give her another cent of my money). But as those very good videos^ explained better than I could - it’s not that easy. You can’t completely separate an author from their work if that author is still alive, has a huge platform that they’re using to hurt people, and is as deeply connected to their work as JK Rowling is. She’s made sure all the rights to Harry Potter belong to her alone. She acts like her word on the charactes is law even so many years later.

As much as I’d love to reclaim Harry Potter and say it belongs to the fans now - it does legally still belong to her. People add disclaimers to their fanfictions for a reason. I also haven’t forgotten that time JKR went to court against a fan because he’d distributed his French translation of Deathly Hallows before the official translation was released. Legally speaking, not amount of reclaiming can change that these characters are hers. And personally speaking, I also find it hard to disconnect her from this world. I’ve spent years reading and watching interviews with her - I can’t re-read Harry Potter now without remembering what JKR has said about this or that scene, about this or that character. I can’t read about Rita Skeeter’s “mannish” hands without remembering that JKR is TERF. I can’t read about the stairs to the girls’ dormitories turning into a slide to keep the boys out without remembering that according to JKR’s worldview, those stairs would keep trans girls out, too. I can’t hear JK Rowling say “Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home” without remembering that according to her, there are people who wouldn’t be welcome to see Hogwarts as their home.

I’ve spent years being a fan of JK Rowling because she wrote Harry Potter. I bought The Casual Vacancy and The Cuckoo’s Calling not because I was genuinely interested in those stories, but because she wrote them. I’ve spent years admiring this woman - I can’t suddenly pretend Harry Potter wasn’t written by her (and I also don’t think statements like ‘Daniel Radcliffe wrote Harry Potter’ are really helping the problem).

And just a few days ago I saw so many Harry Potter fanpages and general fans wishing “Harry and JKR” a happy birthday - as if everything was fine. As if nothing was going on. As if she wasn’t using her enourmous platfrom to dehumanize an extremely marginalized group of people. A few people had the decency to say “Happy Birthday to Harry Potter an f*ck JK Rowling” instead - but even that is a reminder of who the author of this series is and how deepy entwined she is with her creation. 

Long story short: I personally can’t separate the art from the artist in this particular case. Like Melina brilliantly said in her video: “I love Harry Potter, but I love trans people more.” I know so many amazing and kind and courageous trans people and I admire them so much. Back when I was a closeted lesbian scared of coming out to my family, a group of trans people I barely even knew showed me kindness and support. They were there for me, while JKR and her books were not. (I find it insanely hypocritical that she’s pretending to “defend lesbians” from “predatory trans women”. Lady, you don’t even have a single lesbian character in any of your books. As a lesbian, I’m telling you to kindly shut up and leave my trans sisters alone.)

And this is why - at least for the foreseeable future - I’m not going to be talking about Harry Potter on here anymore. I won’t be supporting JK Rowling financially, I won’t get inolved with any of her future projects, and I won’t support Harry Potter creatively (through fanfics, metas, fan discussion, etc.) I’ve put my Harry Potter books and merch away in the same box all the old stuff from my ex is in. And I’m not saying that I’ll never open that box again, but for now I think there are way better things for me to be spending my energy on.

(And just to be clear: I’m not going to judge anyone else for still enjoying Harry Potter. That’s a choice you all have to make for yourselves and I’m not going to tell anyone what to do - especially since I’m not a part of the group most hurt by her transphobic ‘essay’. This is just about me personally.)