#might make a spam acct there as well just to have it

[art-soboro]

calling all moots, will start reposting art there soonish!

[tsumusamu]

asks :D

sorry i took so long to answer these! i just put them in one post so i wouldn't spam too much

Um I read both your series recently and I just wanted to tell you omg I love them so much I couldn’t put down my phone I got so invested into it and if it’s not a bother if you could add me to the tag list for Amorentia and Call you mine🥺💜👉👈

of course! it’s not a bother! i’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the series! <3

hello, i just want to ask if you have any haikyuu fic recommendations (preferably abt bokuto or atsumu)? Or know any other acct/s that write them? im currently on a fic hunt and i just want some writing that’s as good as yours 🤧

hi there! honestly i havent read many haikyuu fics as of late but alkhale on ao3 is probably my favorite author of all time. they have explicit fics but their rated t fics are just as good. i admire them so much!!

I LOVE UR WRTING omgosh am looking forward to the next part of call you mine SO MUCH u have no idea !!! heheh take ur time will be patiently waitinggg <3 take care!!!

i’m so happy you like my writing it means so much! you take care as well ok <3

My emotions went everywhere!! can you add me to the Call you mine taglist please?😆

Of course!

Omg omg omg I really enjoyed the most recent chapter of ‘call you mine’!! I know you were stressed about writing/publishing it but GIRLL IT WAS AMAZING AND HEART-WRENCHING - and it was a great read! Keep up the awesome work, and I’m looking forward to seeing reader and Atsumu’s interactions in the future like UGH MY HEART. PLEASE, YOU LOVE BLINDED IDIOTS. Take care, lovely!! <3 stay healthy and get some good many hours of sleep! :)) 

GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!! yes i dont think it was my best work but i will do my best to keep writing in the future! they are such idiots that i felt myself cringing so hard while writing LOL </3 i will take care of myself and i hope you do too!!!

can I be tagged in the next update of Call you mine? 

yes!

you are such a talented writer and i just love “call you mine”. i saw that you apologised for making part 4 12k words long, but honestly write as much as you want to bc we all need as much of this series as we can get. (btw i saw that you said you don’t know when you’ll post the next update, but i kid you not when i say that i’ll check your blog daily to see if you’ve posted another part of the series and to check our your other content as well 🤭) 

YES HAHA sorry i do get really long winded sometimes hence the huge chapter that i posted a few weeks ago LOL the last chapter will be even longer so prepare for that....... sorry abt my inconsistency that i cant tell you when i’ll update next but thank you for being so patient and supportive!!

could i be added in the taglist of both atsumu fics 🥺

yup!

i am speed

and would love to be added to your general taglist whenever you update any of your fics!! thanks🤍

of course! <3

can i be tagged for the call you mine 🥺 

yes i’ll tag you :)

i’m in love with the hogwarts haikyuu au! i think it’s an amazing idea that needs more stories

ME TOO ANY HOGWARTS AU HAS ME GOING INSANE I THINK IT’S ONE OF THE MOST ENTERTAINING AUS TO BOTH READ AND WRITE. i will definitely be writing more hogwarts haikyuu in the future!!

i forgot to add to that last post that what you’re writing is wonderful and amazing and can’t wait for part 4!

thank you so much for your support!

call you mine is such a masterpiece, you’re such an amazing fucking writer (like the plot and everything???? GENIUS) and i can’t wait for the next update sndnkejdh 

AHHH ANON thank you im so happy that you liked call you mine uiefdiasifua im currently working on the update rn thanks for being patient!!

Hi i was the ao3 reader who discovered you and wanted to drop by and say i am sooo excited to read your latest chapter!!! i also wanted to say I love LOVE major love your hogwarts au fic! idk if you know james potter but you probably do seeing as you made an au but atsumu reminds me soo much of young james potter!! i read some fics of james potter and i find him and atsumu so alike in a a way i would love if you could do more takes on your hogwartsau!!! i could send you the links if you want!!

OMGJOIJAI I hadnt even thought of it that way?? now that you mention it james and atsumu in my story do seem to have some similarities but i hope i didnt make atsumu too much of a dickhead D: i will definitely be writing more for hogwarts haikyuu!

can i mayhap get added to your general taglist? your writing is AMAZING, never fails to send me into the stratosphere from how good it is.

sure thing! i’m happy you’re enjoying my work thank you for your message <3 pls dont stay too long in the stratosphere though it’s kinda hard to breathe up there LOL

hiii!!! can you please add me to call you mine taglist?? 

for sure!

IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 5 OF CALL U MINE AHHHHHHHHH

I HOPE IT WILL LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!

Hello!!! Can I please be added to the Amortentia and Call you Mine taglist please? ❤️❤️ I think about them all the time, Atsumu brain rot for life!

Also super hyped for your upcoming Osamu fic! You’re amazing, I hope you’re not too stressed! Stay hydrated and get enough sleep you wonderful human being ✨✨✨❤️❤️

YES OF COURSE U CAN AND ATSUMU BRAINROT FOR ME 24/7 AS WELL. i hope i’ll be able to finish that osamu fic soon aaa thank you for being patient <3 please take care of yourself as well!

Will ch.5 be the last chapter of Call You Mine?

yes!

i just wanna say 'call you mine' is 10/10. your writing? *french kiss* i love how you go into detail - we see both atsumu's reader p.o.v - it gives depth to the characters! it's so realistic too. reader's hesitance is very valid - like how can you be sure of atsumu's feeling, when he's getting his dick wet everyday LOL! thank you for writing this, i am enjoying it so much! <3

HDSUUFHASUHF ANON PLS AHHH IM SO HAPPY THAT UR ENJOYING IT and also atsumu will get his dick wet one last time in the final part... u will see ;)

HELLO AMORTENTIA AND CALL YOU MINE ARE SO NICE im gonna cry my favorite tropes + one of them is a hogwarts!au + your writing 🥺❤️

HELLO HELLO THANK U FOR READING MY WORK!!!

i can’t wait for part 5 of call you mine. this series of yours is literally so GENIUS

i really hope that it will be satisfying!! thank you for your kind message!

I wanted to say that your writing is absolutely perfect. The way you capture these characters I’m truly speechless, and each chpt it just gets better and better 😭😭💛 could I ask to be added to the call you mine taglist? Truly, thank you for ur amazing writing !!!! 😭

AHHHH IM LITERALLY BLUSHING... THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM T___T yes of course you can be added to the taglist and thank you for reading my work!

ALSO YOUR TAKE ON TSUMU IS GOLDEN. IT IS CLASS. PERFECTION. GRACE. I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN. Anywayz CATCH ME CRYING OVER CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N 🥲😭💛

PLS ATSUMU IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING MY TAKE ON HIM. IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE ENJOYING THIS TSUMU. AND YES... CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N LITERALLY DRIVE ME CRAZY THEY R SO DUMB BUT I CRY WHILE WRITING THEM

Hi there! I love your Call You Mine atsumu x reader fic so much, it’s so well written! Would it be possible for me to be added to the taglist please?

thank you! and yes you can be added!

hi, just caught up with call you mine! i know this might be an odd comment on it but i'm currently going through a similar situation with my best friend as reader is (gray area, we haven't talked in a while) and reading both of their perspectives really brought me comfort. anyway thank you for writing it :)

ooo wow :O i really hope the situation you’re in gets resolved soon im wishing you good luck!! im happy that my writing was able to give you comfort <3 thank you for reading and supporting my writing!

your video edits are just *chefs kiss* my friends and I have been laughing at them for days in our gc and have even inspired memes of our own 😅 hope to see more them, they’re too good istg sending you love from three art school kids from Europe 🥺💕✨

??!#())(!@ OMG HAHAHA i would love to see some of the memes you guys came up with LOL sending love right back at you <3

hi love !! can i be added your gen tag list if you have one?

yes, i’ll add you!

Hello! Sorry for the bother but I’m suck a HUGE fan of your smau! And I’m talking about “Call You Mine” it’s so good and depressing...but that isn’t the point! I know you are busy with something else but I would like to ask if it’s be alright if I made a small fic about that story? If not, that is completely fine and understandable!

Thank you for your time and cya next time!!

yup yup that series comes with an angst tag for a reason! you’re not being a bother don’t worry! i would prefer for no fics to be made based off of the story, i’m sorry :( but thank you for asking!

I just discovered your blog and I love your writing so much.

I was wondering if I could be added to the tag list for call you mine with atsumu x reader? This story hurts me so much and it's written so well.

Thank you and have a nice day 🧡

hi! thank you for supporting my writing! yes you can be added to the taglist and im sorry it hurts </333 hope you have a nice day too bb

When do you think the next part of amortentia will be up? It’s my favorite series 😫 (no rush though!!!!)

hmmm im really not sure unfortunately :(

Sorry to bother, but I literally went through every part of Call you Mine just now AND I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Oh my goodness it hurts how much I love it. The friendship and the unspoken love for each other that leads to a long yearning for each other is literally my fanfic bread and butter. ITS SO DARN GOOD and I felt like I needed to tell you that. Anyways, I hope you are having an amazing week, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re safe and healthy! Thank you for what you do! 🤗

IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU LOVE IT. GENUINELY. KNOWING THAT PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING MY WORK MAKES ME SMILE SO BIG. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS. please take care yourself as well, and thank you for your ask!

Hi! I recently saw your atsumu x reader fic on ao3 (Call you mine) and I haven't read it yet but I've seen others talk about it on tumblr so I was wondering if I could be added to a tag list for that fic (if you have one ofc). Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't have one or it's full!

yes i can add you the taglist! i hope you’ll enjoy the fic whenever you decide to read it! <3

[amasaiweekarchive]

Um how do you run a Ship Week? I don't know how Instagram works

i don’t run ship weeks on instagram! mainly because i’m bad at editing and instagram is an image based social media, so i’d have to make an actual graphic in order to post anything there, haha.

however! if you want some advice for doing so on tumblr, here’s my recommendations!!!

- look up the name of the ship that you’re wanting to run a week for. if a week for it already exists, and happened already this year/the year before this one/is scheduled for a time that hasn’t happened yet this year, i would really recommend either finding a different ship, or getting in contact with the people who ran the week the year before! for kaemaki week for example, i got in touch with the admins from 2019 and asked for permission to host the week in 2020 before i did anything. PLEASE make sure you do this! it’s important not to try and trample anybody and we’re all a community here!!!

- it’s not always possible, but try to choose a week that is several months away from the date that you’re working on all of this. it’s important to give people time to plan in advance. i would also recommend choosing a set of dates that don’t intersect with any birthdays/other important dates in the dr canon UNLESS it’s the birthday of one of the members of your ship. (so, just as an example, amamatsu week 2020 ran up to rantaro’s birthday last year, and himikiyo week 2020 ran up to himiko’s birthday. that’s fine. but i tried to schedule amasai/amamota/kaemaki week so that they could avoid any birthdays in march/november/july.)

- ALSO try not to conflict any weeks that are happening at the same time, especially if they contain the same members from your ship. unfortunately i’m not always perfect in that respect, because i think naekirigami week was happening around this time, and naeleon week happened the exact same week as amamota week last year, but luckily these are largely different audiences and fans so it’s not too much of an issue. make sure to check in with the fandom event calendar and see if there are any weeks going on when you’re trying to plan your event for. again, it’s not always possible; amamatsu week ran until october 3rd last year and amatoujou week STARTED on october third last year, and it’s just, hard to avoid any conflicts in general because there are so many ships and only so many weeks, but if you can, it’s best to be courteous. this is why it’s ESPECIALLY important to follow the last step i gave, because if you plan something months in advance, you can’t really be blamed if there are conflicts. do your due diligence!

- coming up with prompts is tricky, especially when trying to avoid repeats. i like to choose themes to do with nature, and things related to the couple in question. for amasai for example i associate shuichi with books, so maybe reading/library related prompts. i associate rantaro with traveling, the ocean, and jewelry, so a prompt like “necklace” or “sailboat” might be appropriate. do you see where i’m going with this? you just think about the characters and choose the words that come to mind. if you’re in a mood you can also pick things that you think would be fun! talentswap and canon divergence prompts are always really enjoyable, alternative universe, personality swap, pregame, postgame, that sort of thing. danganronpa themed. you can do whatever you want with prompts. i find it to be helpful to reach out to friends and ask them to look over prompts for me, or to help me brainstorm them. that’s what i did for amamota week, and of course half of the amasai week prompts were thought up by storyflight as well :)

- tagging is IMPORTANT. come up with a tag for the week, tag the characters, tag the ship, tag the ship in any way you’ve seen it written and even in ways you haven’t seen it. make sure you’re following the tag you came up with for the week, too, and make sure to specify in the promo post that you want people to tag your blog so you can reblog entries.

- this is not mandatory, but i find it to be a good practice to participate in the week you’re hosting as well! admittedly i’m behind (though i WILL be finishing amasai week, god damn it) but it’s just fun to be able to participate in the things you host. makes you seem more approachable in my opinion. you should also reblog and READ all the content that people put out for your week. art, fanfic, et cetera. make sure you’re boosting everything as much as you can. be approachable, be open to feedback, answer questions, leave your inbox open, whatever. make sure that you’re answering questions quickly as possible, and make sure to stay on top of boosting people’s entries. that way people are more inclined to participate, and they have an easier time. :)

- PROMOTE. leading up to the week itself i’ll do weekly reblogs on the account itself, and then i’ll do countdown posts over the two weeks before the week. it’s important to get people thinking about the event! tag all your promo posts, make sure people see it! get the word out there!!! nothing sucks more than loving a ship and finding out there was an event going for it that you didn’t know about. be involved, get the word out, don’t be afraid to be a little bit annoying with your promo posts. don’t SPAM or anything, but be in people’s faces. don’t be afraid, you got this.

- rules and guidelines aren’t mandatory but generally i think it’s a good practice to come up with some, so that people know what they’re allowed to do. this one is sort of up to you and what you want to fly in your event, but please be mindful of the tumblr/ao3/twitter/instagram guidelines for wherever you’re hosting your event. also make sure not to be too prohibitive. and if you’re allowing edits, which i think you should, please emphasise that people should credit the art that they use!!! integrity is important for challenges like this.

that’s all i’ve got off the top of my head, but if you need more advice, anon, feel free to send me a message on my main acct, i’m @toxicisnotapineapple and i’d be happy to help you out some more directly. let me know!!! good luck with all your ship week hosting endeavours.

[im-thinking-arson]

7 and 20 for salty Munday? :0

7. Things that you will not tolerate?

Anyone trying to guilt or force me (or anyone else) into role playing, especially ERP! Also, seeing people bully others for their opinions.

I've had someone I considered a friend irl cut off contact with me because I said I didn't feel comfortable RP-ing anything sexual. Their argument at first was 'well you did that one time' and kept pestering me about it once or twice a day. After about a week or two of me refusing they stopped talking to me aside from short one or two word texts. The next time I saw them irl was at an event. They gave me a wave and half-smile before ghosting me for 2 days and then never texting me again. It hurt but I don't regret standing by my decision. RPers don't owe others anything, especially if it is something that makes them uncomfortable. RP is a hobby, it's not worth being in a stressful or triggering situation for.

It hasn't always been in an RP setting, but seeing people bullied for expressing their opinions is something that has always bothered me. While there is rarely anything I can do aside from send my support, I will do anything I can to help! <3 (*Mun has convinced a few trolls to appologize, though.)

20. Wild card: The mun discusses any situation/problem they want.

*Slams hands down*

ALRIGHT. Ya'll might want to go grab some popcorn to go with all this salt. This is some BS I dealt with years ago that convinced me to give up on RP-ing for years...

I had this 'friend' in high school who I seemed to have a lot of common interests with at the time. Let's call him... Josh. I gave Josh my e-mail address at some point because he mentioned he was planning on moving after HS. Well a few months after graduation he messages me asking about joining a fantasy RP (sort of like DnD, but through instant messenger) and wants to establish rapport between our characters before I join in with his group. Cool. But then 2 sentences in his character starts trying to put his hands all over mine...

I tried to laugh it off at first and told him to knock it off. He did for a while, but kept going back to it. It got to the point where as soon as I logged in to check my mail he started greeting me with "Hey baby *kisses you*" etc., when I called him out he just said "I'm just being in-character lol. I love my girlfriend" or something to that effect.

I was getting weirded out by all the attention so I stopped logging on as often when I knew he wasn't at work. Eventually he used my e-mail address to find me on a website I used to frequent a lot in high school (Gaia Online) and sent me a friend request and message saying who it was and "pls get on messenger, I miss chatting with you". I talked to him a while, saying maybe later before logging out. I made a new account with another e-mail I had and everything was cool for a while...

A few months later he messages me on THAT account, saying "hey [my name] I miss you. Did you lose your other acct? Lolol". I played dumb, telling him I wasn't who he thought I was, that I didnt know him, and that I didn't give out my e-mail to people. And he just responded with "liar, [aquaintence] gave me ur e-mail. Why u dodging me sweetheart?"

My brain just fucking stopped working. As$hole got a hold of an acquaintence on Facebook, who got my e-mail from a mutual friend who I'd given it to BECAUSE of this very thing and not wanting to lose touch with my other HS buddies... They had assumed it was fine to give to Josh because they'd both known I was friends with him in HS and figured i'd just forgotten to e-mail him before I stopped using the other account... I don't blame either of them because I hadn't mentioned what was going on or who was involved at the time.

Josh (I assume) then starts making other accounts/e-mails to spam me claiming to be 'friends of his' to try and guilt trip me into talking to him, make me feel like an idiot/jerk/etc., for avoiding him when he 'just wanted to be friends'.

Finally, there was a point in my second year of college where I HAD to check my first e-mail for official correspondence from the school. He immediately messaged me when I logged in, saying he was going to break up with his girlfriend because she was a "dumb b*tch," and that he wanted to 'explore things' with me. He wanted to "talk about it when [he] got back into town" and told me he would meet me on [college's] campus sometime.

I never told him that I still lived in the same town...or where I went to college... He claims his younger sister told him bc she also attended there, but she was shocked when I mentioned him. She claims she didn't know I went there until AFTER he mentioned it and that she never told him about me going there. She said neither she nor their mother had talked to him in over a year and "Last time [her mother] talked to him, he sounded like he was off his meds."

Thankfully I never saw him again, but I was really, REALLY fucking scared for a long time. Especially since I had to walk to-and-from the campus at the time. I was too anxious to tell anyone about it, including my parents, friends, and campus security because I felt like I'd brought all this upon myself and I shouldn't inconvenience anyone else with my problems.

So yeah...There's my stalker ex-friend creepy-sexual-RP story D:

Sorry for the long rant!

[scorpioslut-blog1]

Stupid social media

It’s probably been a year... two years... who knows? I’m still at college or whatever, oversharing with pseudo anonymity on tumblr, incapable of journaling like normal or dedicated depressed emo art hoes have been doing for centuries... 

Anyways, I guess I went off social media mostly for the first time in my life... temporarily deactivated twitter (until christmas) and instagram (until further notice), still have my finsta which i'm sworn off of, my spam ~aesthetic~ account which literally keeps me going, my art acct which is sort of stagnant as the moment as i dive into my new hobby/class mandated photography obsession, and my new food diary instagram which is pretty lame and literally just for me to reflect on eating habits. oh i'm on adderall right now. which i looove... it just feels good, ur mind feels good, u think hard but like i feel like i could write a novel, clean my room, text everyone i need to catch up with, or i dont know, write on tumblr like a teenager (i’m 21 fucking years old now). Anyway I’ve been thinking a lot recently about anger.... anger as a coping mechanism, justified anger, repressed anger, anger at yourself, hatred for yourself. anger that is productive and unproductive. at cal, anger at white people, at men, at the world, at people. i’m also thinking a lot about paul, the founder of the palestine decal that i’m taking. and how he spoke to our class on tuesday and explained how israelis, like 18 year olds in the IDF, are taught to hate, are conditioned to hate--not even hate--dehumanize. like how by the time an israeli teenager turns 18 they have already been trained for the military--not physically, but psychologically--to see palestinians as less than human. he frames settler colonialism and israeli occupation of palestine as not an ethnic conflict, not ideological, not religious, or cultural--but about LAND. israelis are murdering, dispelling, bombing, etc. palestinians for the cold, painfully simple reason that they are on land that israel wants. it is not because israelis hate palestinians. while that may be true for many individuals, in which israelis may be racist or islamophobic or for whatever reason hate palestinians or see them as less than, that thought process is a result of government conditioning and hegemony. while america is, in some ways, its own unique case study of cultural, religious, ethnic, social, economic “diversity”, paul also said that we’re all the same. in that, there is nothing unique about the palestine/israel instance compared to, say, the british in south africa. or in india. or australia. or the US in the americas or hawaii or the caribbean. there is nothing unique about palestine/israel, except that their colonization was put in a historical context so close to our current timeframe that we are forced to analyze it as if it were an anomaly. but that’s besides the point. anyway, anger. and hate. in america, it made me think a lot about two communities i was somewhat a part of, whether i felt like it or not---percussionville and berkeley. and how similar they are, and how different i feel in both. back home, i was so angry. i was soooo angry. angry at my parents for putting me there, angry at the people i went to school with, angry at admin, at my teachers, at my peers, at boys, at girls, at white people, at the government, just angry. and i stayed angry in college. i removed myself from that environment but still it haunted me. i never let go of that anger, it blinded me, i couldnt even allow myself to process those four years. and i was still so colonized and following a series of unfortunate events, or fate, or my own hypocrisy or internalized white supremacy, i was surrounded by all white friends, while still trying to understand my own relationship to whiteness, how i was similar to my white friends but also how they could never understand. so i was just blindly angry at white people--and after i stopped being friends with them, anger was almost how i coped. and the poc friends i found myself building relationships with shared this anger, encouraged it. they were angry too, for different reasons but also the same, in different contexts, different levels of anger, manifestations, outbursts, and copings. it was easy to hate these individual white people. before, it was easy for me to hate the idea of white people. in high school i hated white people, but i was always surrounded by them, friends with them because there were no other options really. i mean, i was literally living in it. people here don’t get that, i think, except other poc who really were that heavily immersed in that. like i didnt have a choice. isolation is hard. i spent a lot of high school alone, of course, but i'm a social creature no matter how hard i try and fight it. and this summer i think the idea of hating individual white people for the ways in which they wronged you was almost glorified. and i understand that people are angry. but our anger is all different. i can never even begin to understand the anger of a Black person, especially a Black woman, or a woman who has been sexualized constantly for her beauty, objectified and harassed her whole life, or someone who is currently decolonizing and realizing how much they had ignored or allowed their whole lives... these are just examples of people i think about when i try to think about others’ anger. but my anger is my own. i experience it in my own ways; i have been angry my whole life. i think i came out of the womb angry. i've always just been an angry person, and been suppressing it my whole life. that resulted in me mostly being angry at myself my whole life. and the world. i've had healthy anger, misplaced anger, toxic anger, unjustified anger, genetic anger. and i truly believe that healing is knowing how to cope with this lifelong anger, anguish, sadness. i was angry this summer. i was angry because it seemed like the only way to cope, to be angry at the people who i had failed to set boundaries with, people i had hurt, people who had hurt and confused me. angry at white people, men, starting drunken fights at parties, outside bars... 

anyway, that was a huuuge tangent but my point is. in relation to the palestine decal guy, paul. he’s a few years older than us, and he was clearly still angry as well. angry at the university, for starters, angry at hypocrisy. but the surprising thing to me was that he did not seem angry at israelis. which is a good thing. and he has every right to be angry, to hate the 18 year old IDF soldier, despite the fact that this might be all they’ve ever known, despite the fact that hate is taught, despite the fact that there might not be anything to make that soldier change, or to change how they see paul. but he wasn’t angry. he didn’t blame individuals. he said this was structural, that zionism was not judaism, despite the constant conflation of the two, especially at cal, especially with people who sit in the same classrooms as us every day. it’s easy to be angry. i’ve been angry at so many people. and i have always accepted that i am flawed, i hurt others, people are angry at me. but i don’t know. i don’t know how it is productive for me to be angry. most recently i got angry at felix. and i definitely am still frustrated by him and don’t think it’s even worth talking about at the moment, or that i have the capacity, but i don’t want to be angry at him. i love him, miss him, wish him the best. just texted him that i miss him actually. anyway, on anger--i tried to make him hold my anger, and just sort of lashed out on him over text. which isnt really productive. at the time i was going through a lot with other people, and i think i was so frustrated with always being painted the bad guy that i wanted someone else to hold my anger. i have held others’ anger, and tried to understand it, so i guess i just wanted someone to do the same for me. it did feel good to yell at him honestly. but anyway. back to my point. 

i think about where i'm from, where i grew up, and i have to claim it. i’ve been so angry for the past two years, running away from that place and everything about it. coming to a place that seemed so drastically different at first, but eventually realizing that everywhere is, in many ways, the same. like paul said. i can’t be angry at felix, even if it’s warranted, even if my friends applaud me on the text i sent him. i mean i can. i can be angry at my old friends. but i dont know. i just am so so tired. i'm old. i'm 21.