#miis when you dont see them for literally a week:

[faitherr]

[somuchanemoia]

11 Questions

I was tagged by the lovely, chicken enthusiast, Joey (@yuuris-piano ). I’m so sorry that I’m late. I promise I didn’t forget! 

1. If you were able to change an aspect of yourself, would you do it?

Hell yeah! I hate myself with the passion of a thousand fiery suns so...I absolutely would. 

2. If you could live in a fictional world [anime/literature/movie/tv-show/etc.], where would you live? 

Hmmmmm.....good question. There’s a lot of place’s I would like to go. I think I would love to go to Wonderland. There is finally a place that is just as odd as I am. Maybe I could finally be normal there? Whether it is Disney’s cartoon wonderland or the 2010 remake or the Alice in the Country of Hearts version, I think Wonderland would be an amazing place. 

3. Have you ever read/watched something that has altered your perception of something?

As cheesy as this sounds now, Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower was really impactful to me. You’re probably rolling your eyes at me for saying that because, duh it’s a coming of age novel, but really this was an interesting book for me when I first read it. I was 14 at the time and for the first time in my life, my depression and anxiety were very bad for over a year. And I read this book for the first time in my life and just the way it talked about life and depression and friends and love and acceptance for who you are, really gave me a lot to think about during that time and while I didn't know it then, now I know how much that story helped me cope with a lot of things. It’s still one of my favorites to this day. 

4. Currently, are you living out yours dreams/goals?

Yes and no. 

Long-term goals wise, no I’m not. 

But short-term wise, hell yeah I am! I’ve almost made it through the semester. It’s been almost a year since my last major breakdown. I’ve got straight A’s this year for the first time in about 10 years. I’m spending the weekends with my family who I love. I came out to my parents (granted it was unexpected, but still) who are coming to terms with it and still love me for who I am anyways. I made an awesome batch of cookies this morning and I managed to eat breakfast for most of this week. I’m finally getting back into a healthier mindset after a lot of toxic relationships. Life is looking pretty good. 

It’s all about the baby steps for me right now...

5. If there was something you could change about yourself, what would it be?

.....everything? Is that an appropriate answer??? 

6. How do you deal with self-doubt?

Honestly, I don’t do self-doubt really well. There are two ways I will go about this and which will happen is pretty spontaneous when it comes down to it. 

Method 1: Usually, I tend to have an internal freakout and then withdraw pretty quickly and move on to a different task while obsessing over said task internally while trying not to do just that. 

Then I hit a breaking point; a point where I literally look at myself in the mirror, give myself the finger and say “fuck it, I’m doing this” and then go be impulsive as I can. 

Method 2: I generally take a break from what I’m doing or thinking about and meditate for a while. This is pretty difficult since I'm ADHD af (hence method 1), but when I can focus long enough to relax, it helps a lot. 

7. What inspires you to do what you do?

The people I care about. That’s who it all really comes down too. I love my ships and I love certain creators, but what it comes down to are the people who either read my works or the small creators who make this whole thing fun. 

8. Is there and aspect about today that made you feel good? 

Well, for the first time in years I broke out my old Nintendo DS and played some Professor Layton. I still have my dope riddle solving skills. I had a ton of fun and it reminded me of simpler times.

9. Do you have cool blogs to recommend?

tbh, I am horrible at recing anything, but a few of my favorites are:

I really love @iwritebetterthanispeak‘s blog. She’s pretty chill and has quite a few funny posts. I also really love lolimnotheidi’s art. Her band au is dope and I swear her Mila is one of my new crushes. @endlesscloudsoftime also has an amazing blog and they are so nice. Also, I just found @yuuricutesuki‘s blog a few weeks ago and already I am hooked. 

10. Define the purpose of your existence.

I dunno whether to be funny or deep so I am going to be both. 

You know when you’re driving down the road and on the sidewalk you see a sign spinner for Jamba Juice who is dressed up as a banana? Well, that’s me, except for that I am not a sign spinner and I also do not work for Jamba Juice. I am just a freak in a banana costume in the middle of a public sidewalk, who is staring blankly into the crowd of passing cars and wondering if there was a way that I could just sit in a pit of lemurs all day and feed them grapes and maybe play them a tune on a guitar (if I knew how to play the guitar).

While it may look like I am staring depressedly into the crowd of oncoming traffic, what ya’ll dont see is how much I am seeing (fyi your tinted windows can only hide you picking your nose so much).  I’m just waiting for the opportune moment for someone to need a person dressed in a banana costume for no reason to be at the right place at the right time.

Basically, my existence can be summed up as me standing around in a banana costume while the Mii channel music plays on loop.

11. Compliment Yourself~!

Uhm...okay...uh....I have good taste in music. I think. I like it, so...yeah. 

I know I’m supposed to tag people but I am literally lazy and don’t know really anybody to tag and since I’m catching up on tagged posts, I’m tagging whoever wants to do this. Just say I tagged you, because I love reading peoples responses.