#motheryoon

[motheryoon]

he lay on his back, bare-chested, underneath the glow of the moon with his bride resting her head over the space where his heart beats. their skin is still dotted with perspiration from making love, breaths stills steadily evening out.

they are married.

tears prick the corners of his eyes, one lavender and one onyx, as he slowly tries to comprehend this actuality.

he is married. to the only person he has ever loved. to the woman who poured her affection into his soul and filled him to the brim with joy.

“if i were to die now,” he utters quietly, to only her and the moon, “i would die a happy man.”

her head tilts upwards and she looks at his face unflinchingly, as she has done so many times before. he wonders what she sees, what there is to love about him.

she’s always had better eyes than him, though, so perhaps there is some worth there, even if it is minuscule. perhaps she sees something, deep inside his eyes, his mind, his heart—that he cannot. that is worth loving.

“sasuke-kun. sasuke-kun,” sakura whispers, calling to him repeatedly, and warmth pools in every crevice of his being at her silken voice.

she is like medicine, like oxygen, like heaven.

she continues, breathing his name into his skin and pressing fervent kisses to his lips—his lips; so eager and desperate for her touch are they.

“ah,” he whispers, mouth slowly lifting up at the corners, “the happiest man.”

[motheryoon]

in honour of sasuke retsuden release date, here’s something inspired by sasuke’s conversation with gigi

“do you love her to death?” he was asked by naruto one day. when sasuke merely blinked at him with his blank face and imperceivable expression, his best friend reiterated. “sakura. will you love her even in death?”

sasuke observed him for a moment before he turned his head to look at the moon. “when i die,” he said quietly, “speak of her over my grave, and watch how she brings me back to life.” naruto was silent, taken aback by the side of his brother in soul he’d never seen before.

“and should she ever pass before i do,” he continued, eyes focused yet unseeing all the same, gaze pinned to the moon, “bring her body to me, and bear witness to the way my heart beats for her, as i reanimate her with nothing but the flesh of her corpse and the love in my veins.”

they asked, “do you love her to death?” i said, “speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.” (mahmoud darwish)

[motheryoon]

“i’m as old as my father was,” sasuke said suddenly as he and sakura climbed into bed at the end of their day. it was his birthday and his wife and daughter cleared their schedules to spend the entire day with him.

“really?” sakura asked as she laid down, watching closely as he settled into his spot next to her.

they cuddled up together, facing each other, with their blanket pulled up to their chins.

“yeah,” he said, blinking up at her with big doe eyes, as if that fact were only just now sinking in.

sakura felt a strange urge to cry, because when he looked at her with that expression, all she could see was a little sasuke, still so innocent and unburdened. a sasuke he could have been even now, if only fate had been merciful.

“time really flies, doesn’t it?” she said, stroking the skin of his cheek. “how does that make you feel?” she asked him, because sakura knew that when sasuke brings up a random comment like this, it usually means he wanted to elaborate on it, and talk about how it makes him feel.

“i never thought i’d be here. alive. with a family. with a daughter who hasn’t suffered through anything even close to what i have,” he said quietly, “it feels surreal.”

“is it scary?” sakura asked, observing his face.

sasuke turned to look at her, and just watched her for a long moment. he didn’t seem entirely present; she could practically see his mind swirling. she kept quiet until he was ready to speak, let him ponder on his thoughts for a while.

“no,” he whispered eventually, distant eyes losing their glazed over look, blinking as he returned from wherever his mind took him, back to her, “no, nothing is ever scary when you’re next to me.”

[motheryoon]

“my mother would have loved you,” sasuke whispers to her at night, his words lingering in the space between them inside their shared sleeping bag.

they are young, and married, and travelling the world together with a new life on the way.

sakura considers his words as he gazes down at her little bump, hand caressing the curve with a touch gentler than anything she’s ever felt before.

“you think so?” she whispers back, a sense of longing filling her heart.

sasuke brings his bottomless black eyes to her bright viridian ones and marvels at how her springtime colours would clash against the dark shades of his clan, had they still been here.

his cherry blossom blooming in the midst of the darkness. pink amongst a sea of blues.

“yes,” he says, and the warmth of his breath nuzzles her skin like a caress.

sakura smiles. “i hope to meet her some day.”

exhaling, he brings her closer than he thought possible with their unborn baby in the middle, and presses his nose to hers.

“not anytime soon. you’ll stay down here with me for a while yet.”

[motheryoon]

sakura wiggled around under the covers, trying to find a comfortable position before she finally burrowed right into sasuke’s body, settling there with a pleased sigh.

sasuke opened one eye to peek down at her. he saw the way she was all bundled up and clinging to him and almost snorted. “sakura… you’re going to leave a dent in my side with the way you’re squeezing me.”

sakura, whose head was hidden under the huge duvet with only her pink hair visible, moved even closer. “it’s cooolllddd, sasuke-kun. don’t be mean.”

sasuke grumbled and said, “you wouldn’t be cold if you had listened to me and put on some layers. you’re only wearing my t-shirt, sakura, of course you’re going to feel cold.”

sakura pulled her head out of its warm confines and sent him a put-upon expression.

“maybe i just wanted an excuse to cuddle you, but i guess not,” she huffed, turning her nose up at him and moving away with her back to him.

sasuke blinked, startled at the abrupt movement creating distance between them and sighed. he reached his arm out and dragged her back.

sakura squeaked at she was pulled into his chest with his big arm bracketing her to him. once she was securely tucked into his body, he lifted his hand and pinched her nose lightly.

ignoring her squawk of indignation, he nuzzled her neck and mumbled out, “you don’t need an excuse to do that you ridiculous woman.”

flushing, sakura let a shy smile stretch across her face and cuddled closer to her husband.

[motheryoon]

“try it,” she told him, holding the chopsticks up to his lips. sasuke flicked his eyes back and forth from the dessert to his wife’s expectant smile suspiciously.

“come on,” she said, nudging it a little closer, “i made it just for you.”

sasuke frowned down at it as if it had personally offended him. “sakura you know i don’t like sweet things,” he said, eyeing her warily. she sighed exasperatedly and explained herself again.

“i made it more savoury than sweet, just for you.”

and before he could refuse, she had quickly shoved the morsel into his mouth, effectively shutting him up.

“umf—!” he almost choked but quickly caught himself and slowly began chewing, a pensive expression growing on his face. he looked so concentrated, sakura almost laughed.

and then, as if in slow motion, his eyes widened comically, and they seemed to sparkle.

“wow,” he mumbled with his mouth full. sakura would have scolded him had he not looked so cute. he looked up at her in wonderment, as if she had done something absolutely incredible.

“i like it,” he said. knowing sasuke’s aversion to both giving compliments and eating anything sweet, this was high praise. he might as well have gotten on his knees and bowed to her.

sakura snorted as his eyes continued to twinkle like a little kid’s.

how a notoriously fearsome man like him could be so damn adorable sometimes, sakura had no clue.

“i like you,” she replied, endlessly amused. sasuke’s reaction was everything she was hoping for. he reeled back, cheeks red and eyes bashfully avoiding hers.

no matter how long she’d been open with her feelings, sasuke could never quite get used to her unabashed affection toward him. it would never fail to make his heart race.

lips twitching, she lifted her chopsticks and pinched his nose with the clean end of them.

immediately, his face scrunched up and he looked like he was about to sneeze. sakura giggled and said, “you’re so cute.”

still blushing, sasuke rubbed his nose and muttered underneath his breath, “i’m not cute…”

chuckling, happy and so in love, she leaned in and placed a sweet, chaste kiss on his mouth. moving back again, she looked into his startled eyes and smiled widely. “happy valentine’s day, sasuke-kun.”

pausing, he returned her soft gaze and felt himself melting, much like that chocolate she loved so much.

“…happy valentine’s day,” he whispered back, “wife.”

[motheryoon]

sasuke hung his cloak on the rack as he entered his home before walking in the direction of that familiar chakra. peering into the kitchen, his eyes softened at the sight of his wife at the counter, chopping vegetables.

stealthily walking up to her, he sidled up behind her and wrapped his single arm around her while his chin rested on her shoulder. he could just about see the upwards curl of her lips and let loose a smile on his own face.

“tadaima,” he murmured into her ear, his smile softening when she shivered.

“okaeri,” she replied, and he could hear the grin in her voice.

“hn.”

sakura paused and glanced at him over her shoulder, mirth visible in her eyes. “what?” she laughed.

“…that wasn’t as enthusiastic as i was expecting,” he teased, mouth twitching.

“oh?” sakura giggled, turning around completely to face him properly. she leaned her back on the counter and sasuke caged her in with his arm. “and what were you expecting?”

“hmm”, her husband hummed, leaning closer and nudging her nose with his before pressing a soft, languid kiss on her lips. she closed her eyes and savoured his taste before he pulled away.

there was a twinkle in his eye. sakura almost snorted. it seemed that her husband was in a mischievous mood today.

leaning back so he could observe her face, he finally replied. “…something like that.”

sakura rolled her eyes in amusement and grabbed his shoulders, yanking him closer, to give him exactly what he wanted. sasuke grinned through it all.

[motheryoon]

they’re twelve and he’s leaving. they’re twelve and she’s telling him she loves him.

sasuke can’t bring himself to turn around. to look at her. because one glance at her eyes, at those endless jade pools and—that’s all it would take.

that’s all it would take.

[motheryoon]

sakura felt as sasuke stepped back after he gave her the right instructions, giving her the space needed and retreated to watch speculatively from the background. she was grateful for the distance, as she brought her shaking hands up.

sakura’s heart thudded heavily inside her chest, feeling the eyes of generations upon generations of fire-breathing people resting on her back, her shoulders, her fists—and it was so heavy. their weight was tremendous.

inhaling deeply, she lifted her hands and made the respective hand signs—snake, ram, monkey, boar, horse, tiger—

his presence was almost forgotten then, when she felt it.

hands; metaphorical but real all the same. they caressed her own—the ghostly touch a contrast to her roughened ones, but firm, still.

those hands guided her, remaining unseen but overwhelmingly present that sakura could almost smell the scent of lavender and coal.

the flames left her lips as she blew out the air from her lungs, the fire from her spirit. oranges and reds and yellows erupted in flickering waves, fanning the edges of the forest and floating resplendently over the river.

she could only watch in amazement at her creation.

dazed, and too mesmerised by the sight, sakura failed to notice the stiffness of her husband.

sasuke stood, wide-eyed and shocked into silence, as he stared at the phantasmal figures of his mother, father and brother who huddled around his wife, hands cradling hers. they smiled.

[motheryoon]

“let’s start over. on a clean slate,” sakura said, a soft smile painting her lips. the evening sun cast an orange hue on her visage, making her glow.

sasuke blinked at her in confusion. start over?

she held out her hand to him, the gentle smile still there.

“hi. my name is haruno sakura. it’s nice to meet you,” she introduced herself, her hand still suspended in mid-air, in the space between them. sasuke blinked again, brows easing out from their furrow, beginning to understanding.

so she wanted to start over, he mused.

well. it certainly wouldn’t be enough to rid them of the wounds of their past, their history—but it was something. the start of something new, perhaps.

sasuke wouldn’t miss the chance to try and fix things—to do something right this time.

and so he slowly lifted his hand, grasping her much smaller one in his, all at once remembering why he used to find so much comfort in her touch. why, as a genin, he used to always unconsciously reach for her hand, her wrist, her arm—anything.

she felt like home, even then.

“…uchiha sasuke,” he said, his voice low and hoarse, “it’s…nice to meet you too.”

her smile widened at his words, the corners of her eyes creasing with the width of it. “maybe…maybe we can be friends,” she said, still holding his hand, “what do you think, sasuke-san?”

his heart stuttered at the unfamiliar—formal—name, so used to her voice calling him with an endearment that he’d grown to become fond of. and his breath caught in his throat at the notion of friendship, because he wanted to be more than that; he wanted to be her everything.

but this was okay, he quietly thought as his lips unconsciously lifted at the corners and a warm feeling encased his heart. this was okay.

because they had all the time in the world now. they could start over. he could do things right this time—the way he had always wanted to.

“…sure,” he said softly after a moment, looking into her eyes. he knew that he would always want more with her, that this wouldn’t last, that he would always love her. but this was perfect for now.

they had time to grow.

“yes. friends.”

[motheryoon]

“morning, princess,” sakura murmured against his skin as the morning light shone through the curtains. already, sasuke could tell that his wife was feeling particularly playful today.

exasperated and startled to hear that oh-so-familiar (dreaded) nickname, he huffed. “sakura,” sasuke grumbled as she continued to rain maddening kisses on his skin, “are you really starting this again?”

she giggled in response. “yes.”

it was a term she had began using back when they were 17, straight after the war. sasuke and naruto had both been too beaten down to even attempt to walk back on their own, so kakashi had to carry naruto on his back while sakura carried sasuke in her arms, princess style.

the nickname had stuck, much to sasuke’s horror. noticing this, she then proceeded to call him by it for the next three weeks. it was horribly cruel, but he could not do anything about it; besides, it was an incredibly mild punishment after all he had put her through.

pulled back to the present, sasuke inhaled sharply as his wife’s calloused fingertips tantalisingly roamed their way down his chest, torso, navel…

“sakura…” he breathed out.

“my pretty princess,” she whispered in his ear, gently nibbling on the lobe.

“sakura,” he groaned out her name in dismay this time. it was clear now that she was in the mood to tease, and would not let up the embarrassing pet name. still, he would try to put an end to it, no matter how futile. “stop it,” he groaned once again.

“no,” she giggled in delight, pressing herself closer and flicking her tongue out to taste his skin. sasuke’s breath hitched, and for a moment he almost forgot what he was fighting for. “bedsides,” she said, “i know you secretly like it.”

sasuke blushed. “i do not.”

he felt her grin. “yes, you do. no use lying to me, anata.”

after a brief moment of silence where he stewed in his humiliation, he decided to give up, burying his very red face into the crook of her neck. “hn,” was all he replied with.

sakura could not contain her mirth.

of course, she knew her husband perfectly well.

sasuke absolutely adored the nickname. he was, indeed, her pretty princess.

[motheryoon]

“don’t look at me like that,” sasuke whispered, inches away from her face.

sakura stared up at him, pupils dilated and chest heaving. “like what?” she whispered back, heart and mind ensnared by the hurricane of emotions whirling in his multicoloured gaze.

“like 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵,” he said, eyes wild, “with those 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴.”

they were both breathing heavily, mouths barely brushing each other’s, with too many unspoken feelings between them.

of course, they were bound to explode.

when sakura could do nothing but stare at him and focus on regulating her increasing heart rate, he leaned in closer, eyes dropping to her plush, cherry lips.

“you have no idea,” he breathed, “what you do to me when you look at me like that.”

flicking his gaze back up to hers, he put the nail in the coffin, made her indisputably his with his next words.

“you make my blood 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨.”

[motheryoon]

“i love you,” she said, face illuminated by the glow of the moon.

sasuke’s mouth parted as he watched her. “do you?” he asked with mirth in his eyes.

sakura laughed. “yes, i do.”

he smiled. “i love you too,” he replied in a whisper, intimacy and familiarity settling deep in the spaces between his ribs. “…with all my heart.”

jade green eyes shone as they flickered back and forth between his multicoloured irises. she breathed in deeply, the memory of a lonely moonlit night pushing to the forefront of her mind at his words. “you remember that?”

sasuke looked at her, and he saw a future full of love.

“not a day went by where i did not remember that,” he whispered reverently, “it was hell, trying to remain unattached, afterwards.”

sakura lifted her hand and stroked the skin beneath his eyes.

“you don’t need to anymore, though, right, sasuke-kun?” she asked with a gentle smile. “you don’t need to remain unattached anymore.”

a shaky breath left his mouth and he leaned into her palm as she cupped his jaw.

“no,” he replied, mouth brushing against the skin of her battle-worn healer hand, “i suppose i don’t.”

[motheryoon]

“you’re so lazy,” sakura huffed after feeding sasuke a morsel, “you act like you can’t feed yourself with your one arm just so i’ll do it for you.”

he blinked at her as he chewed and swallowed. “maybe it tastes better when you feed me,” he replied. she blushed.

“hey!” she said, pointing the chopsticks at him, “stop flirting.”

sasuke picked up a grape from the plate and looked at it before throwing it in his mouth. “why?” he asked as he chewed, with a small smirk, “you’re my wife. i’m allowed to, no?”

sakura made a strangled noise at the back of her throat. her cheeks were aflame as she peeked up at him from underneath her lashes, embarrassment on her face. “…you’re too old for that,” she mumbled, poking him in the cheek with the chopsticks.

sakura let out a giddy giggle when sasuke choked on his grape at her rebuttal. mean wife, he thought. he’ll show her ‘old’.

[motheryoon]

“our little crow is leaving the nest, sakura,” he whispered as he gazed down at the photograph in his hand. it was from when they had been travelling, back when they were younger. they were so in love; he still was.

sasuke let out a choked laugh. “she looks just like you.”

slowly, that familiar loneliness began to creep up his spine once again. he thought he was doing well, he was learning to cope with her absence.

but on a day like this, where both he and their precious daughter wished for nothing more than for her to be present, to witness history together—everything crashed down on him.

she was gone. she was truly gone. she wouldn’t see her daughter achieve her dream of becoming hokage.

sasuke’s shoulders shook, and his lip trembled. he tried to keep his tears at bay but it was all for naught, he realised, when wet droplets suddenly materialised on the photo still clutched tightly in his hand.

eyes scrunching closed, he let out a sob that he had been holding back for weeks now. soon enough, the tears were falling down his face nonstop as his quiet cries echoed in the too-big house.

he thought he had gotten used to the feeling of loss. he was wrong.

[motheryoon]

“i’m sorry i could not be the man you want me to be. the man i wanted to be for you,” sasuke told her outside the village gates before his departure. “love has burned me too many times and it’s made me a broken man. i have nothing to offer you. it’s not possible for you and i…”

“i understand,” she said, stopping him. they stood there in silence for a long time, the sound of the trees bowing in the wind filling the lengthy pause.

strangely, her heart did not ache nearly as much as she thought it would. when had the both of them grown so?

“do you think,” she eventually said after a long, agonising moment of deafening silence, “there could have ever been a life in which you loved me too?”

he inhaled. “yes. in another life,” he whispered as his hand reached for her own, “my heart belongs to you. only you. but in this one…it lies with my kin.”

she stared at him with clear eyes. there was acceptance in her gaze. she understood. she did.

“…i see,” she whispered, resigned. after all these years, she was finally giving up. “i wish you all the best, sasuke-kun.”

“i wish things could have been different,” he said to the empty air once sakura had left. the sun was shining brightly at its highest point in the sky, yet sasuke somehow felt like his world was grey. “it would have been nice, to have loved you.”