#ms zorski

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger, Episode 37: And She Was Gone

Brief summary

This episode is about depression, but it's not.

All Ginger did was write a poem about a girl that was depressed and wanted to literally disappear, but everyone loses their shit because they misinterpret it as a cry for help. She shows it to Ms. Zorski for critique, and her response was to refer Ginger to the school psychologist. I mean, she was super nice about it, though. No one believes her when she says it's not about her, not even Dodie and Macie. (Spoiler alert: she gets published)

Meanwhile, Carl buys some vanishing powder from a magic shop and uses it on a girl named Noelle Sussman to make her disappear. Barely minutes after putting it around her desk, he and Hoodsey realize that they've been missing out on someone awesome, and Carl is damn near in love with her by lunch. When she doesn't show up the next day, he freaks out. The situation is so dire that he even sells his beloved petrified eyeball to buy the reversal potion. Then he finds out that the Sussmans moved across town, so she had to change schools.

Spot the Clique

Casey is in Ginger's English class.

Casey is also behind Dodie and Macie in the cafeteria with Lonnie.

Courtneyisms

Courtney's attention-seeking behavior is just straight-up Leo energy. (She's not a Leo, but I bet her ascendant is.)

"Being miserable earns you scads of extra attention. And who doesn't need extra attention, Ginger?"

Gingerisms

Ginger is typing her poem on a typewriter. Is it for aesthetic, or has Lois simply not managed to buy a used computer from work yet? Both are valid.

The Dodie Desperation Index

Not even a full two minutes into the episode, and Dodie's trying to get Ginger to write her potentially published poem about her.

"Sometimes, when my mother is feeling down, she locks herself in the bathroom and screams into a hand towel." I don't know what to do with that bit of information. Wow.

Miranda’s Malice

"Man, if I had known you were, like, clinically depressed, I might have gone a little easier on you."

"I mean, there are days I really wished you'd disappear, but I had no idea you felt that way, too!"

Boys and their Toys

So this is the Noelle section today, and here's what we learned:

Noelle has finger puppets of Hoodsey, Brandon, and Mrs. Gordon. And those were just the ones I spotted.

She doesn't touch veal

She was born in Portugal

She has a pet flamingo

She's obsessed with black holes

She was an extra on a show called "Town Square"

She was held back in kindergarten for refusing to lay down on a mat.

Continuity

Must be winter because Carl's actually wearing a jacket.

Trivial Things

There's a second elementary school in Sheltered Shrubs, Happy Flower Elementary.

[issuewire]

Paul E. Zorsky, MD, MS, an Oncologist with Harrington Cancer Center

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger, Episode 24: The Nurses’ Strike

Brief summary

Lois and the nurses at the local hospital that has no name have gone on strike in pursuit of higher wages. Apparently, worker negotiations had been going on for six weeks prior to this episode, and they’re living off of Lois’s savings. Lois tells Ginger that they’re going to need to start making money soon, so she’s decided to restructure Carl’s cleaning business, sans vampires. Ginger promptly shits a brick because it means Lois is gonna be --*gasp*-- a cleaning lady! Her panic only increases when Lois gets excited about posting flyers everywhere to advertise her services.

A week later, things only get worse when Lois tells her that they don’t have the money for Ginger’s class trip to New York City, but she could if Ginger helps her clean faster so they can get more work done. Ginger reluctantly agrees, but her reluctance and embarrassment fade away when she finally talks to Lois about it. From there, it becomes mother-daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, Miranda finds out about it when she sees a flyer at the store, and she suggests to Courtney that she hire them to clean the Gripling mansion. 

Ginger tries to talk Lois out of it, but she insists on going because it’ll be good money. Fortunately, Ginger shows up anyway, because if Lois isn’t embarrassed, why should she be? Even after multiple attempts by both Courtney and Miranda to take them down a peg, they still have a good time and do a great job. 

Meanwhile, Carl decides to help out and start a training school for dogs, starting with Principal Milty’s dog, The Duchess. Things don’t seem to be working out very well with Carl as the trainer and Hoodsey criticizing him the whole time, so Carl lets him have a go. It doesn’t seem to work at first, but eventually, The Duchess starts obeying Hoodsey’s commands and things take off. When they bring her back to Milty, things are great until The Duchess mistakes a chair cushion for a muffin that Hoodsey was eating and destroys it.

Spot the Clique

Donna walks by in the back of a hallway shot. 

Mindy and Dinah are in Ms. Zorski’s class with Ginger, Macie, Dodie, Courtney, and Miranda. 

Courtneyisms

(In the most patronizing baby voice ever) “Isn’t it cute, Miranda? They think visiting New York City is about something other than shopping.”

“Now, Miranda, obviously the Foutleys have fallen on hard times, so don’t make Mrs. Foutley feel any more downtrodden than she already does.” (Seconds later) “Mrs. Foutley, you poor woman!”

“Mrs. Foutley is failing to notice my sympathy to her plight.”

Courtney’s definition of “going through hard times”: Claire losing her platinum card while in Jamaica, the longest three hours of Courtney’s life. 

Courtney: Yoo hoo, you missed a spot.

Ginger: Courtney, that’s your reflection.

“I didn’t think it was possible. I look even better reflected in a floor than in a mirror!”

Gingerisms

“You have to actually lift furniture and clean under it, not around it like you do here.”

“But, Mom, you can’t just name the business.  That’ll make it permanent.”

“Chill, Lois. You’re starting to sound like my mother.”

The Dodie Desperation Index

“You’ve achieved friendship status with your mother. That puts you, like, 20 years ahead of schedule.”

Miranda’s Malice

“Cute? Let’s just call it what they call it in New York, pathetic.”

When Miranda started cackling, the couple grabbed their kids that were playing in the toy car ride and took the fuck off. That was quality.  It’s even better when you’re not sure if the kids started crying because they wanted to play some more or because Miranda was scaring the hell out of them. 

Miranda disappearing in the hallway was freaky as hell, y’all. 

(When Ginger shows up to help)

Courtney: It’s worse than I thought!

Miranda: It’s better than I thought. 

Courtney: They’re destitute!

Miranda: Let’s go remind them. 

(Watching Ginger and Lois clean the kitchen)

Miranda: Someone needs to remind them that they’re just housecleaners who can’t afford to go to New York. 

There’s Something About Macie

“Lady Liberty: I’ve always wanted to meet her. I say it’ll be worth a nosebleed to climbing to the top.” We find out later that there was no nosebleed, and she only fainted once. 

I appreciate that Macie is perceptive enough to realize that Miranda’s little scene in the hallway asking for recommendations was her way of saying that she knows about Lois’s side-hustle. 

Boys and their Toys

Carl: Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! Which I hope to be someday...

Let’s Talk About Lois

Lois lived in New York City the summer after her sophomore year of nursing school. She and a friend sublet an apartment in Greenwich Village, which gets Ginger excited about beatniks and poets.

She worked during the day and partied all night.

She climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty in Lucite platforms. 

Lois also had a boyfriend named Jimmy who had a monobrow.

Continuity

The trees in the opening scenes look rather bald, so I’m assuming it’s late fall or a snowless winter day. 

Negotiations between the nurses and the hospital had been going on for six weeks before the episode. So...potentially all of Season 2 so far? 

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger: Summer of Camp Caprice, pt. 1

Summary

School’s out for the summer, and it’s time to figure out how to spend the next three months forgetting everything you learned in the previous nine so you can spend the first 4-6 weeks relearning it when you come back in September. 

Ginger, Dodie, and Macie are planning to spend their time at Camp Caprice. Courtney and Miranda were going to go to the US Virgin Islands, but when Miranda tries to quash Courtney’s curiosity about summer camp by telling her that she’s too high-maintenance to handle it, Courtney digs in her heels and cancels their cruise so she can go to camp and prove her wrong. So, now Miranda’s mad that Courtney’s ruined her summer, and Courtney’s mad that Miranda called her “high-maintenance”. (Cue Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never, Ever, Ever Getting Back Together”.)

At Camp Caprice, Courtney is completely befuddled by the lack of luxury accommodations, available spa services, and social status. Ginger and the others, meanwhile, are totally in their element while Courtney struggles to adjust. Dodie has designs on being a camp counselor one day, and her idol Margie lets her be a “counselor-in-training”. Ginger is getting to know Sasha, the new stable boy, despite Courtney’s repeated cockblocking. And Macie is out to conquer her fears, well, one of them. 

With Courtney at Camp Caprice working Ginger’s last nerve, Miranda gets shipped off to Spengler Military Academy where her dad is the head sergeant. Fortunately, she has Darren there to keep her company. 

Meanwhile, the boys have decided to investigate the series of dognappings in the neighborhood. This is when we find out that Carl once had a dog named Monster that disappeared multiple years ago. In order to do this, they have to convince their respective parental units to let them stay home instead of being shipped off elsewhere. To that end, Carl comes up with the idea to start a cleaning business which serves multiple purposes: make money, investigate the dognappings, and not having to go out of town. They get a job cleaning Principal Milty’s house, where they find a dog toy...but no dog. Does that mean he’s the dognapper?

Spot the Clique

You briefly see Mipsy and Lonnie running out of the building when the bell rings. (Didn’t Dodie say they might have to go to summer school for cheating in math class?)

Courtneyisms

“As in the American Virgin Islands? You know, St. Croix, St. Thomas....and the rest of the Saints?”

“I don’t know what makes this a friendship bracelet. It doesn’t even have any semi-precious stones or metals.”

Gingerisms

Sasha: So what kind of girl are you?

Ginger: Guess you’re gonna have to find that one out for yourself. 

The Dodie Desperation Index

Dodie’s sycophantic nature takes the form of an overzealous desire to be a camp counselor like her fellow pigtailed blonde, Margie. 

Miranda’s Malice

Were the writers aware of how filthy “We’ll be crusing the Virgins this summer” sounds? Were they so aware of this that they intentionally gave that line to Miranda because it would lose impact coming from Courtney?

“Could they be more twelve?” Lines like this are why Miranda wasn’t around in episode 9 when Courtney had to deal with the high school girls. She could have dished it out as well as they did.

On Summer Camp: Some see it as a rite of passage, but I do not see it that way. Stupid songs, pointless hikes, and macrame bracelets that clash with everything. Trust me, Courtney, it’s not for a girl like you.

Miranda tells Courtney that summer camp is not for her because she’s high-maintenance, and she wouldn’t last two minutes there.

There’s Something About Macie 

Ginger: “No school for the whole summer”, the six sweetest words in the English language.

Macie: Unless you count, “Not impacted: no need for removal.”

Boys and their Toys

Carl’s favorite smell is payback, Hoodsey’s is ribs. Both are valid.

But, Carl, how could a couple of flithy boys like us get a leg up on qualified professionals wearing snug purple coveralls?

Continuity

Ginger’s last class before summer vacation is Ms. Zorski.

Hoodsey and Dodie have an Aunt Myrna who owns a pig farm. 

Trivial Things

Claire: Blake, show some compassion! Your sister’s going to spend her summer in little more than third-world conditions!

If Camp Caprice is an all-girl camp, why are Sasha and Jed there? 

[brittlebranchesandbossbitches]

As Retold by Ginger, Episode 16: An Even Steven Holiday Special

Brief summary

It’s Christmas time in Sheltered Shrubs, and Ginger is working on her family tree for a homework assignment. When she stumbles upon a picture of a young man in a yarmulke, Lois tells her that’s a photo of her grandfather (Lois’s father), who is Jewish. Naturally, Ginger is excited, and an excited Ginger tends to go overboard pretty quickly. She convinces Lois to celebrate Hanukkah this year, and she is so immersed with learning about Judaism that Dodie makes a scene, and Ginger decides to dial it back and make an “Even Steven” holiday party. She then proceeds to go overboard on that, too, because that is what Ginger does. 

Meanwhile, Hoodsey is working on his letter to Santa, which Carl thinks is silly because he doesn’t believe in Santa. In fact, Carl is so sure that he doesn’t exist that he’s willing to bet his brand new hands-free, electric can opener (which he just used to unnecessarily open a bunch of canned goods) on it. Later on we find out that the reason Carl doesn’t believe is that he spent years asking Santa for his dad to come home, and it never happened. So, Hoodsey finds Santa (who is actually Jonas Foutley) and spills the beans. 

Spot the Clique

There are several quick shots of Lonnie, Mipsy, and Heather at the library. 

Courtney and Miranda make their sole, non-speaking appearance at the class Christmas party, being photographed by Mipsy, with Heather and Traci nearby.

The Dodie Desperation Index

So, Ginger’s totally hyped about being 1/4 Jewish, and Dodie is now all wound up because she’s afraid that their friendship is going to drift apart. Macie, voice of reason, tells her that all she needs to do is be supportive while Ginger goes on this journey of self-exploration.  Dodie’s idea of being supportive is buying Ginger a can of herring and a secondhand video of Yentl. (I just wanna point out that that in that scene, Mipsy is clearly within earshot and doesn’t even notice what Dodie’s doing. Of course, we don’t find out for a while that Mipsy’s even Jewish, so there’s that.)

And in class, Dodie proceeds to make an enormous scene when Ginger doesn’t want to come over for Christmas activities. (Desperation level: running out of the room, crying.)

There’s Something About Macie

This is the second mention of Macie’s Aunt Bridgette, who we learned earlier was never married. And, boy, does Macie look like her! We also learn that she was a millionaire who invented the first diatetic orange drink. 

Boys and their Toys

I just wanna point out that Hoodsey asked Santa to give him rhythm for Christmas. I’m just saying. 

Today, we learned that Carl has a peanut allergy...a rather bad one at that. 

Continuity

Lois had one candle left to light on the menorah, which meant that Christmas Eve was the 7th day of Hanukkah that year. This doesn’t line up with 1999 or 2000. The closest we get is 1995, and that doesn’t line up with any other established dates. 

Trivial Things

Lois: I never felt particularly religious about anything...unless you count Hollandaise sauce. 

When Hoodsey is talking to Santa!Jonas, you can see Chantal and Andrea from Macie and Courtney’s French class walking behind him. 

Can we talk about Dwayne the garbage guy hitting on Ms. Zorski? His game is absolutely terrible, and I don’t blame her for running like hell when he kissed her hand. 

Who was at the Foutleys’ party? Ms. Zorski, Dwayne Cochran, the Patterson family, the Bishop family, Macie, a couple of guys who are probably Lois’s coworkers, the Jewish boy Ginger was talking to earlier in the episode, and a woman who is probably the boy’s mom based on proximity. 

When Jonas shows up at the house, Carl says that he knows his dad’s truck anywhere. However, the impression I’ve always had was that Jonas was hardly around after the divorce, so this makes me wonder how long ago it even happened. I mean, he doesn’t even know (or he forgot) that Carl is allergic to peanuts.