#multavia :: josuke

[noknockingonmydoor]

@multavia​

Rohan’s gut feelings were very rarely wrong, and he relied on them heavily--which, surely, to an extent, explained why he was yet alive and (mostly) well despite his unshakeable tendency to get himself into trouble--but they might’ve been wrong when it came to his initial impression of Josuke. 

It had been a few weeks, and it was still in the back of Rohan’s mind, plucking at his brain like an annoying brain-pecking bird, when he had nothing better to think about... which was far more often than he’d have liked, lately. Koichi was aware of it, as Rohan didn’t take long to ring him and retell the dramatic tale of his latest conflict with Josuke Higashikata--started as an elaborate, venting session, trash-talking the guy after years of claiming there was nothing at all he could do anymore to piss him off as much as way back when... and ended as a calm, vague discussion about Rohan’s true, conflicted feelings on the matter (excluding a few unnecessary details), which ended with Koichi outright calling him an asshole.

Had such a vulgar word been spoken by someone he didn’t trust with his own life and soul, Rohan would have got offended and fought back, but the only response he could conjure to the accusation was a pout, because Koichi was right--he always was when it came to these things. Rohan had never questioned his judgement, even if he was close to doing so once his friend told him he needed to apologise. Him? Rohan? To Josuke? How fucking absurd--except, Koichi was absolutely right, as he always was. It wasn’t like Rohan particularly enjoyed reducing someone to tears when there was no good reason to... not even Josuke. Somehow, seeing him, of all people, nearly breaking down in front of Rohan was... strangely touching. Eye-opening. Heartfelt. Not to mention that Rohan had been too focused on his own discomfort at the unwanted arousal (which had long ago been taken care of, and should no longer pose a problem) to think his reaction through. How unbecoming of someone who claimed to be working hard on getting better at these things.

Still--Koichi’s unyielding friendship, and selflessness was a huge source of hope and inspiration that prompted Rohan to give it a go. To do his best to approach Josuke, have a mature conversation about the situation, and... apologise. Except--all of that was far easier said than done. It was pathetic, really, how much Rohan struggled to do it everytime he happened upon Josuke in public, and ended up just staring at him, before changing his mind and finding something more important to do. Not now, later--he’d tell himself... up until a point where he couldn’t look himself in the mirror because of how big of a coward he was being throughout this whole ridiculous trial. So deep ran the reluctance that Rohan trying to think of the perfect way to approach Josuke--who never seemed to be alone, by the way--ended up in noting every single hang-out spot that Josuke frequented on any given day, at any given time. When he left the house, how he only waited for the bus when it rained, where he got his lunch, how he spent his weekends, who he hung out with--it was getting really, really weird, even by Rohan’s rather loose standards. He just-- he really needed to put an end to it. He was spending far too much energy on something so embarrassing. Since when was Rohan Kishibe afraid of speaking to some high-schooler? Since never, that’s when.

In a sudden surge of determination, once the opportunity finally presented himself, once Josuke was finally on his own, even if it would only be for a short time before someone else inevitably showed up, Rohan scurried over to the guy, stood expectantly by his side, expecting some sort of an acknowledgment... and, instead, only succeeded in making everything even more uncomfortable than it already was, because everything about Josuke’s body language screamed that he couldn’t wait to get the hell away. Which he certainly attempted to, after murmuring an awkward greeting and turning around, until Rohan grabbed him by the shoulder with a tight grip--making it clear that he head no intention on releasing it until he was heard.

"I--” he immediately cut himself off, mouth left hanging open, staring at the other, trying very hard to articulate the desired word--only to close it shut and drop his eyebrows into a frown, which was definitely aimed at his own self. Ugh. Gaze averted to the side, finding it very calming to stare at the nearby tree, lips pursed into a pout. “I’m here to return your shirt. And... maybe talk.”

[starsader]

           ❝ you’re not skipping, are you. ❞ 

@multavia​ -- josuke 

[stcndsadvcnture]

multavia​:

     that… seemed like okuyasu’s attempt to diminishing josuke’s concern, but it was to no avail. if anything, his comment about ‘a little scrap’ caused an eyebrow to raise in question. just what the hell had he got himself into now? & to brush it off as if it was nothing…it made him wonder if there was more to it than the other was letting on.

     “—you do sound kinda zoned out.” he comments, adding emphasize to show that he did believe that part. as for the rest, it’d bother him to leave it at that. if there was something that was troubling okuyasu, then josuke wanted to be the first to find out.

     just as if to try to confirm his suspicious, he gets a little closer & pokes at the bruise that caused him to flinch. if it was really nothing, then it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, right? plus, he could always use the excuse of trying to heal him if it end up hurting much. “so, what exactly did i miss yesterday?”

    “Ow! Hey!”

Exclamation when the injury is poked, he flinches away from the tough. It’s fresh, still tender and the contact was enough to remind him of that. Oops..busted. Maybe it IS a bit worse than he’s trying to play off {of course Josuke of all people would see through him}, but Okuyasu considers himself a pretty tough guy. There’s no reason to be a bother. It’ll heal up eventually and until then he’ll just have to try and be careful not to do more damage. He carefully rubs the tender spot, but the question has his mood changing INSTANTLY, grin on his face, excited to share the story. {though it’s probably not as exciting as he thinks it is}.

     “Okay so, some were saying some rude shit, ya’ know?” He starts. {Leaving out the fact that it MIGHT’VE been directed at him and MAYBE he’d been in a rough mood to begin with}. They really thought they were tough too, but you know NO ONE’S a match for me.” he’s got a proud stance, fists up as if imitating the fight he’d gotten himself into, but his injury is bothering him so it doesn’t last too long.

   He puts his arm on Josuke’s shoulder, leaning casually. “It didn’t last too long, and I’ll give it to them, they were pretty tough, but I took them down no problem. But I gotta say, if you were there, it would’ve been way more fun.” What can he say? He’s gotten used to fighting with the other at his side.

   He’s leaving out a lot of details, including one of the main reasons he’s zoned out to begin with, but Okuyasu doesn’t see those as important. NO, the battle tale is what REALLY matters.

[stonerfreed]

@multavia​ said: “how high are you?” / Josuke

crime related ask meme. accepting!

“  how high am i ?  ”  she repeats him, incredulous. they’ve only recently met and he’s already in her business, as if he’s her nosy older brother. and making wild such accusations... how does he know with just one look?

she puts her hands up in a mock-surrender, brandishing a shit-eating grin.  “ what are you, a cop?  ”

[starcited]

@multavia​  (‘∀’●)♡

❛     you don’t need to fill the silence .     i’d rather you didn’t.    ❜    how long would koichi keep her waiting ⁇   her heart had been overwhelmed by a wonderful joy over the notion of lunch with her soulmate .   yukako hadn’t hesitated ,   all too eager to spend her time with him that she hadn’t completely listened to the boy’s invitation  ━━━━  so blinded with a rush of passion that his explanation of a group hangout hadn’t registered in her mind ,   lost within her version of reality .   upon seeing josuke at the cafe ,   all that fluster ,   all the happiness drained from her being ,   leaving a husk of a woman to greet him .   but ,   at the very least ,   she had better control of her unstable temper ,   knowing it would only push her koichi further away if she snapped .   it had been a bearable few minutes ,   before the boy had been taken from her again .   who was this rohan ⁇    why did he keep interfering in her love life .   if she so much as turned her back on koichi ,   that man would have him in his grasp .   but he would be back ,   wouldn’t he ⁇   she takes a long sip out of her straw .   she wasn’t leaving until he returned .  

[frmaggio]

he’s incredulous at first towards the drink offered to him in earnest. the kid looked young -- maybe seventeen, eighteen -- and punks like him often played pranks on him. after all, he was an “easy target” to make fun of. he wasn’t japanese like they were. they could get away without fear of repercussions. he’d already had a run in with the police warning him when he was just defending himself against a group.

so formaggio thought maybe the greaser-wannabe spat in the drink, or pissed in it. he leaned against the handle of the brush cutter and wiped the sweat off his brow from a damp cloth fished from his pockets. man. he was either a really good actor or he genuinely wanted to give him that drink.

his thirst and exertion from working in the heat won out over caution, and he reached over, grabbing the water bottle and taking a gracious gulp from it. surprisingly, it was just water.

“ ..t’ank you, ” he spoke so uncertainly, guarded and wary. “.. ain’tcha worried someone’s gonna see you doing somet’ing like t’is? ”

@multavia​​ ( josuke. )

[musemalade]

@multavia​

@multavia​  ⭐ cont.

All of the heavy burdens and weariness she carried on her stiff shoulders after work vanished through the sheer inner strength that of a mother preparing herself for taking on the parenting role, that familiar hunch that her child is not telling her the truth making her follow after him to the livingroom.  “Stop right there, let me take a look at you.”  Hands on her hips, a click of her tongue loud enough for her dissadisfaction to be heard from steps away. It would leave her wondering everytime, on whether it was her own son that thought such uninspired excuses would everr be enough for her to be pacified, or if maybe the older she became with every passing year, the more experience she had gained to tell what went through her son’s head.

“Hey, what do you mean nothing? That better NOT be your blood!!” Tomoko walked over to Josuke, inquisitive eyes already scanning him from head to toe with stern concern. Relief silently touched her heart, noticing the lack of any injuries on him beyond hairs out of place and some light bruisings here and there. Looking up to stare directly at his face, she questioned him in a voice that demanded honest answers. “So, what happened? Did you get into some turff with punks?”

[sakrosanctum-a]

@multavia​ liked for a one-liner//accepting 

“   there’s   no   need   to   be   frightened   ,   josuke   ..      this   creature   is   entirely   harmless.      i   do   recall   when   they   migrated   to   earth   myself   ,   they   were  only  seeking  a  peaceful  refuge."

[noknockingonmydoor]

[unlikely kiss] Josuke / @multavia​ 

Without thinking it though, he stood up to accompany Josuke to the front door. Blankly stared as the other took his sweet time putting on his shoes, adjusting his jacket, stealing glances of his own reflection in the mirror (probably making sure his hair was right). Just as Josuke said his goodbye, hand moved onto the doorknob, Rohan noticed the umbrella in the corner--one Josuke’d been forgetting to take back for weeks now. 

“Hey,” he called out, which on its own would have been enough to get the other’s attention--but, just for good measure, he grabbed Josuke’s arm and tugged it towards himself. Earning a puzzled look from the other, with a nod of his head he gestured towards the umbrella. “Did you already forget it’s going to rain tomorrow?”

The flustered expression that overtook Josuke’s features, muttering awkward affirmations, before he reached out to grab it brought out of Rohan a wide grin. 

How cute. 

No matter how much Josuke would’ve liked to pretend otherwise, Rohan had a hunch that, at some point during the suddenly increased time they’d been spending in each other’s company, the younger had developed a harmless crush. Rohan didn’t hold it against him--after all, he’d purposefully, not very subtly tested the waters, and fueled the sparks on many occasions, because he simply couldn’t resist the temptation. Probably because he was bored, maybe only a little bit lonely and in need of a special kind of attention... and because he knew Josuke wouldn’t really be interested, or bold enough to pursue something with another man.

“You’re such an air-head, you know that?” he remarked, arms slowly crossed across his chest, as they stood only a step away from each other. Almost sultry, half-shut eyes, looking up at Josuke’s own, all the more mischievous, paired with the snide smile he yet wore. “You’d be so lost without me.”

And that was the note on which Rohan expected the evening to end. The only note he was mentally prepared for--only for Josuke Higashikata to, once again, shatter Rohan’s illusion that he had the upper hand in whatever it was they had going on, by inching closer, instead of stepping away. Rohan’s eyebrows quickly pushed into a furrow, heat rushing into his cheeks at the unexpected development--not quite sure what to do, or how to react, or what to think--and then he felt Josuke’s hands gently cupping his cheeks, and he froze on the spot. 

What are you doing? Just... what are you doing, Higashikata? You’re not supposed to do that. Are you out of your damn mind? What the hell is wrong with you?

The words ran in his mind, lips slightly parted to speak them out loud, only for them to get stuck on the tip of his tongue. Wide-open eyes shifting left and right across Josuke’s face. Josuke’s heartbeat drumming against his own. A shudder, goosebumps rising on his skin. Hot, ragged breaths slipping through his lips--eyelids sliding shut, giving in to the notion, as Josuke’s warm, plump lips were pressed against Rohan’s own in the softest of kisses.   

Fuck.

This definitely, definitely wasn’t supposed to happen, and Rohan definitely shouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as he did, and he definitely shouldn’t have leaned in, or let his hands wander onto Josuke’s waist--

Because, as soon as he did just that, Josuke abruptly pulled away, face redder than Rohan had ever thought was possible.

And, just like that, after mumbling something under his breath, Josuke stormed out the door... and left Rohan to stand in the same spot for an unspecified amount of time, a cold hand pressed against his burning cheek, trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened.

[hopingforjustice]

@multavia said: ❝ I’ve never been good at emotional stuff. Except anger. I’m good at anger. ❞ / Josuke quotes i found on pinterest: sentence starters.  /  accepting.

ㅤ ㅤ Anger was a natural defense against pain of one form or another. Being the son of a single mother and of mixed ethnicity in a traditional small town, an easy target for the eyes and comments of others. Children know how to be cruel, maybe some adults would have been mean to him too, rejection caused by things that were not his fault at all. Could anyone really blame him for being angry? For feeling at ease showing the bad part of him to others? Striking back like a wounded animal, even before being able to fully understand why his existence was offensive to some — always keeping everything to himself, playing the role of protector from an early age even if it hadn't been imposed on him. Nothing she said or did would change Josuke's mind, but she could at least try to make him feel understood for once. ❝ Anger is like flowing water, there’s nothing wrong with it as long as you let it flow. ❞ Her tone ever so gentle, feeling calm because there were no judgments in their conversations, the reason why such delicate topics came up in the first place. He was not a worse person because of that, and Reimi would do anything to reassure him. Silence hung in the air for a while, a choice of hers, before meeting his gaze with a completely serene expression. She knew this since the beginning, from the first sensitive subject discussed between the two of them.

ㅤ ㅤ Said inaptitude was present in his mannerisms, in the blue eyes turning away sometimes, one hand touching his face in an attempt to hide his features, the absence of answers to some of her words. They were so different in that respect, perhaps Josuke thought it made their opinions irreconcilable, unable to understand each other completely — but knowing the price of honesty was what made her so empathetic. There was no right or wrong, just different paths that found points of intersection here and there. ❝ I know it’s hard. Dealing with feelings makes you feel vulnerable... But to be vulnerable is to be brave. ❞ Courage was a word with many meanings, sharing who you are with others was one of them. He did this, more than he imagined actually. Sharing with her doubts about his father and concerns about his mother, the desire to follow in his grandfather's footsteps and the dream of exploring the lands across the ocean. ❝ In fact, what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful. ❞ Her hand covered his and tenderly squeezed his fingers, a smile lighting up her face like a summer breeze. ❝ It’s okay not to want to talk, but I want to be here if and when you do. If there’s anything you need from me to feel safe, you can tell me. ❞ No sacrifice would be too great if it brought some relief to his heart, it would be a way to repay everything he did for her until then.

[ekusudelux]

❝ do you trust me? ❞ josuke / multavia

                                       @multavia​  ❥❥❥

                        How she detested it, that world around her that extended beyond her and Koichi. Nothing could be more dreadful, to bear those brief moments of existence that separated her from him. What was she to do? What was she to say? What was there to care about? She did not know, and it was a most bothersome feeling, so very bothersome indeed, as nails running over a chalkboard, just as maddening!!

Trying, that alone was difficult. But she would not kid herself, repeating her mistakes would be foolish, of that she was too aware — it was on her best interest to, even if only so slightly, get along with Koichi’s friends. He wanted her to, therefore, she had to want it to.

Lips pursed together, they parted with a sigh that made no sound, but it was incredibly loud. The expression on her pretty face almost made her look like a melancholic statue carved in ice. It was love deluxe that gave it away, how jittery she felt behind that expression, locks of lush raven hair subtly poofing like a cat’s tail, wary of strangers.

“ —- … Josuke.” The name felt foreign on her tongue, she was unused to even the simple act of adressing most people by name, or at all. “Koichi trusts you, doesn’t he? Well, if he does then, I do too, it should be obvious…” It was not a lie, of course not. “Are you going to interrogate me? I knew it, you don’t want me here…”    

[stcndsadvcnture]

@multavia​ asked:  "what the – you okay, buddy?' multavia / josuke for oku!

Final Fantasy Remake Starters || not accepting

     “huh? whatcha talkin’ about?” Look of confusion is given towards his best friend. Had he seen him bump his head a moment ago {sometimes he forgets some doorways are shorter than he needs them to be.}, or is he talking about the bruise he’d gotten yesterday that’s along his shoulder that had caused him to flinch when he stretched just a second before. Either way, he shrugs, putting on a grin.

    “Yeah! I’m good. Never been better. Just got in a little scrap yesterday, that’s all. Guess I’m still a bit zoned out or somethin’.” No need in worrying Josuke over something so menial.

       “It was actually pretty awesome! Can’t believe you missed it!”

[starcited]

∣  ∣  ∣  ∣  ∣  ∣   𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙴𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈  𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴   •   accepting prompt  ⋰     @multavia​  ◞ ∣  ∣   ❝   ✿ for yukako from josuke / multavia   ❞

send me a  ✿  and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.  childhood friends  / work buddies or coworkers /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  / smoking buddies  / adventure buddies / fake friends  / recently friends / party buddies  /  friendship of need /  dying friendship  / circumstantial friendship / partners in crime /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  / opposites attract / ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other .

ROMANCE.   childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  / opposites attract / long distance /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  / unrequited [ from my muses side ] /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  / friends to lovers / enemies to lovers /  spurious relationship  / power couple  / newly entered /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other .

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  / [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other .

ANTAGONISTIC.   dangerous to each other /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  / based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies /  conflict of ideology /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other .

[noknockingonmydoor]

“Please, don’t ask me that.” ++ “Okay, fine—I’ll do it. But you have to kiss me first.” @multavia​

Rohan’s request was whispered into Josuke’s ear, after he'd climbed into Josuke’s lap, whose eyes followed his movement with obvious dumbfoundedness--only for the other to conjure up a nervous laugh, head turned to the side, a meek attempt at avoiding Rohan’s demanding stare.

“Please, don’t ask me that...”

Further sinking into Josuke’s lap, whose legs were all but pinned in place between Rohan’s own, which were bent by the knees, feet hanging off the edge of the couch. 

“Hey,” he spoke, voice deep and low. Firmly held Josuke’s chin between his thumb and middle finger, pulled it back towards his own self, held it so he couldn’t look away. “Don’t hide your face from me when I’m talking to you.”

Thumb moved to brush past Josuke’s lower lip, hand sliding down his chin, neck, tugging on his collar, pulling it down his chest, before releasing it. 

“It'll be quick, and painless.” Voice now considerably softer, almost hushed. “And it'll make me very happy.”

Eyes intently studying Josuke’s expression, a corner of his own mouth lifted into a crooked, wicked smile as the flush on his lover’s cheeks turned a deeper shade. A rapidly growing heartbeat felt under Rohan’s fingertips. Struggling, but managing to keep up the eye-contact--so much more daring than he used to be. A spark in the dazzling blue of his stare. A period of hesitation, before it was abruptly broken with a defeated sigh. 

“Okay, fine—I’ll do it. But you have to kiss me first.”

The words elicited a soft chuckle--by now, Rohan was openly grinning. 

“Do I, now? How greedy,” he teased, hand moved to stroke Josuke’s cheek. Being so needy was part of Josuke's irresistible charm--if only the other was aware of how much it worked on Rohan, he'd have him wrapped around his finger even more than he already did. (It was better if he didn’t know, actually.)

Leaning forward enough for their noses to barely touch, the hot breath from Josuke’s mouth caressing his own skin. Without a further warning, captured Josuke's lips with a gentle kiss. Eyes closed, the tip of his fingers slowly tracing along the wonderfully defined jawline, before he pulled away. A half-lidded, loving gaze taking in the sight of Josuke's face, until he suddenly leaned back. Pushed himself off Josuke's lap, and proceeded to stand up straight in front of the other.

"Good," he announced, a hand on his hip, a thoughtful expression on his features, mentally already on his way to do something else. 

“You got what you wanted. Now... be a good boy and take out the trash.”

[noknockingonmydoor]

[Puts head on the other’s shoulder] “accidentally” while watching a movie cause he fell asleep. From Josuke / @multavia​ 

Rohan froze, fists clenched in his lap, heart skipping a beat, when he finally felt Josuke’s head on his shoulder. He’d been watching the other from the corner of his eye--yawning, rubbing his heavy eyes, head ever so slightly bobbing up and down, drifting amidst a thin line between reality and dreams--and he could’ve snapped him awake at any point, barked at him to stay focused, yet... he chose not to.

Rohan wasn’t born yesterday. It was fairly obvious at this point--Josuke was getting far too comfortable in Rohan’s company, and while Rohan wasn’t actively encouraging it, he wasn’t putting a stop to it, either. Such things just kept on happening, and Rohan’s instinct to feign disgust had long ago vanished. As much as he knew it would be for the better, he couldn’t bring himself to push Josuke away and shatter this little moment, the touch-starved fool he was. He carefully gazed at the other, as if ashamed, as if being watched, judged for allowing himself to enjoy this as much as he did. What went through Josuke’s head? He wondered. What did he see in Rohan, to keep coming here day after day? What did he want from Rohan? It wasn’t just friendship. When it came to someone like Josuke, so pure-hearted, sincere as he was, Rohan feared the answer was obvious. As much as Rohan had come to crave companionship, a deeper connection, it just wasn’t something he had the time, or energy for. Still--if this was something Josuke truly wanted, and if Rohan himself didn’t fully object to the idea, for the time being... why should he pretend otherwise? Indeed, he was being selfish, yet again, thinking only of the short-term pleasures of such a connection, knowing full well that it might not last, much like all his other flings. Was this something he should talk to Josuke about? How would he even breach such a topic? Did he necessarily even want to open up this can of worms?

Only after a quiet snore slipped through Josuke’s agape lips did Rohan brush away his thoughts, breathing in through his nose, lips puckered into a pout, as he grabbed Josuke’s arm and shook him awake. 

No... he wouldn’t say anything. It was too early to know for sure. Perhaps Josuke was confused, and lonely, and clung onto Rohan, of all people, for whatever reason. Maybe because, for the moment, they were in a similar predicament. Perhaps it would pass, as Josuke met someone his own age he could connect with. Slowly, but surely.

“Don’t insist on watching a movie if you’re going to fall asleep halfway through,” he scolded, tone of voice more gentle than he’d have liked it to be, gaze glued onto the television, arms crossed on his chest. (As if he could even tell what had happened in the movie in the last ten minutes.)

[noknockingonmydoor]

Send me a ¥ and a command and my muse has to obey.

¥ be nice to me for once — Josuke / @multavia​

Josuke wasn’t shy about expressing his romantic feelings, all too eager to shower Rohan with affection, kind words, cheesy gestures, and while Rohan tended to roll his eyes and make a snarky comment nearly every single time, it was all in good humour--or so he believed it to be, until Josuke suddenly called him out on it. 

What the two of them had in common, despite their many differences, was to avoid talking about negative emotions, because these conversations never seemed to go right. Rohan was adamant on keeping such things to himself, deal with them on his own, and tended to lash out if pushed too hard, while Josuke yearned to talk about it, and fell apart more and more each second he had to keep his feelings from Rohan. Selfish, perhaps, but it was an arrangement that Rohan found to be agreeable for quite some time, because he didn’t want things to get too deep--but Josuke seemed to not be having it lately. Usually, it was easy to comfort him, either with a carefully chosen word, gesture, or a sly sensual advance, or anything at all that would keep the other hooked just enough not to outright leave, but Rohan knew that look in Josuke’s eyes--he was getting tired of it. 

Rohan had to look away, eyebrows pushed together, as if crushed by the inquisitive intensity of the other’s gaze.

“I-- haven’t been treating you well at all, have I?” he acknowledged, only briefly glancing up at Josuke, traces of a wry smile on his lips, all too quickly diminished.

Despite what many others might’ve thought, Rohan had consistency, and principles, and he had never made any promises, once things between the two of them took a certain turn--a clever way of ridding himself of any responsibility and blame, if need be--but he wasn’t being entirely honest, either. Josuke awoke inside him something he wasn’t ready to feel, and it scared him. It wasn’t supposed to be like... that.

Things had already progressed way past strictly sexual, and Rohan didn’t like how he was losing control over his own feelings. How he liked, how natural it was to see Josuke leaving his stuff over, sleeping tightly in Rohan’s bed, brushing his teeth, doing his hair, kissing him so tenderly before leaving that Rohan felt his whole world spinning--thus, lately, he’d been too focused on pushing Josuke away. Not letting him come over, or slapping his hands away, or offering short, cold responses, or anything at all that would hurt him, maybe make him remember and conclude that there, indeed, was a reason Rohan preferred to be on his own. Leave, once and for all, tear off the bandage, recover quickly and succesfully from the disaster, and find someone who could... love him, the way he needed to be loved.

After all--Rohan was incapable of such pure, conventional love, as many others craved, much like he’d been told many times over, by nearly all flings who tried to get close to him. They were right. He was not built for something so safe, stable, predictable, comfortable... stagnant. It wasn’t his fault that nobody could handle it, or that he refused to budge. He was only being true to himself.

Surely, Josuke would come to his senses sooner or later once he left for America, and he would forget all about Rohan. He was young, and inexperienced, and he must’ve latched onto Rohan because he didn’t know any better. First loves were unique, intense, all-consuming, hard to let go of, despite the many obvious flaws--Rohan knew, for he yet thought of Nanase from time to time, and the ache, however faint, would never truly go away. A part of Rohan didn’t want the same to happen with Josuke--so much effort, thought, comfort poured into something that had an expiration date--but he knew it would be for the best, which is why he kept a certain amount of distance between the two of them. With every act of kindness that brought them closer, there had to be an act to negate the effect, and set them back... for both their sakes.

What more was there he could say to Josuke, at his demand? He could be honest, say what was on his mind, as he always did, but--he looked up at Josuke, took in his expression, mind swirling, heartbeat skipping, mouth dry--he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to completely push Josuke away. Not just yet. Not while he still had the opportunity to selfishly enjoy his presence, his kindness, his face, his body, his voice, this... feeling, closeness brought on with all of this, whatever it was. It wasn’t love, no--a mind-numbing infatuation, fulfillment, satisfaction, perhaps, on both parts--

No--it was... more complicated than that. Rohan couldn’t help but make everything complicated--it was both a guilty pleasure, and a way of life. There was no progress, no growth, in a lack of complication. Nothing new to be learnt, for either parties. Even if this were all to crash and burn and crumble, at the very least--they would both learn an important lesson, wouldn’t they?

He scoffed after a brief, contemplative silence. In his hands he took Josuke’s own, gently traced the other’s palms--soft, yet calloused, depending on which part he was touching--with his thumbs. To think that, one day, he would forget how good it felt to hold Josuke’s hand like this-- 

“--What did you want to do today, Josuke?” he inquired, a hint of urgency in his voice, cutting off his own train of thought. “Tell me. I’ll make it happen. Anything at all.”