#multmilk oneshot

[multmilk]

Addiction | w.yh

Pairing: Bestfriend!Lucas x Reader

Warnings: Use and mention of alcohol and cigarettes, mention of strippers (lol), angst & making out. Also suicide (mentioned not in a descriptive way but if you feel uncomfortable please do not read this. Do not risk your mental health for this, I love you!)

Word count: 2.5k

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Blue lights strobed around the room and loud music was playing, making the people dance wildly.

Lucas was sat in between two strippers with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He wasn’t even sure why he was watching these dancers perform for him when he could easily just watch you.

The two of you were inseparable, wherever you went he did too. There was just no way he would leave your side. Lucas always guided you throughout your poor life decisions—boys, cigars and liquor. He felt the need to always keep you safe and he doesn’t care if he gets in trouble in the process too. Another factor was that he was in love you.

He loved you ever since you saved him from whores living in his home that tried to consume and corrupt him. He loves the way you talk about the universe and your passion. He loves the warmth and gentleness your being brings to his soul. With you, he feels like the world just consists of you and him. Your eyes that could pierce his soul—oh how he loves getting sucked into them every time.

You were irrational and overly-sensitive when making decisions and Lucas was all there to straighten them out. He makes sure that when you drink and smoke, you don’t push your limit. He makes sure no boys could hurt or take advantage of you and he did all of those because he loved you.

You were currently dancing against Mark Lee and boy was he blushing. You looked gorgeous wearing a green silk slip dress that Lucas bought you. It’s been a month since you’ve been partying non-stop which deeply concerned Lucas but he couldn’t stop you, you were too stubborn for your own good.

As soon as the song ended, you strutted towards Lucas, eyes narrowing as you spotted the strippers he was sandwiched in between, at this Lucas chuckles. He signaled the erotic dancers to leave as soon as you seated on his lap, burying your head on the crook of his neck.

“Lucas,” you breathed. The way you said his name sent shivers down his spine. Just as he was about to reply with a cheeky remark, he felt tears on his neck. You were crying and lightly shaking.

“What’s wrong?” he gently pulled your head back to face him, his eyes searching for yours. Your eyes screamed of sadness and exhaustion, university really was taking a toll on you. You lay there in his arms feeling secure and like tomorrow would be better. For a second, you actually believe that everything will be okay. You’ll graduate with flying colors, you’re going to have your dream job, you and Lucas would still keep your friendship and you’d finally be able to commit into a serious relationship.

You had serious commitment issues, all product of your parent’s divorce (though it was better seeing them apart rather than them tearing and clawing at each other every minute) and your past boyfriend.

After your last relationship ended way back in 2018, you started getting addicted to boys. You slept with people then left them hanging. You toyed with their emotions and you felt powerful. It all was wrong until you met Wong Yukhei.  He led you towards the right path, he helped you realize and fix your mistakes. He shaped you into becoming a better person. You saw the light in him.

You needed a distraction away from the nagging thoughts inside your head, away from the demons living inside of you. You would not let yourself be destroyed by your own guilt and regrets, so you opted to drink and smoke your night away.

Lucas tried to get you to quit your unhealthy habit but you insisted that it was the only thing keeping you sane so he agreed. He was a great company, sometimes he’d even drink with you but never too much. You didn’t know why he was so afraid to let loose around you, it’s not like you haven’t seen him drunk before.

Anyways, as you calmed yourself, Lucas combed your hair and smiled at you. His smile was to die for, it probably was your favorite thing about him. His lips were so plump and soft—you thought about how it would feel against your own. You thought about his teeth biting down on your lip, his tongue playing dominance with yours. You weren’t even going to deny that you found your best friend attractive, I mean, who wouldn’t say he was right?

“Come with me to the restroom,” you suggested. He raised his eyebrows at you and you hit his shoulder lightly, giggling. You grabbed his hand and the two of you walking towards the girl’s restroom. You peaked inside the comfort room to see if there was anyone, seeing as you two would be alone you pulled Lucas inside with you. He stared at you with big and wild eyes, his lip was quivering as well. You laughed and put your hands on his neck.

“Y/N…” he trailed off. “Stop this. What even are you doing?” “Kiss me,” you said. His hands that were gripping once on your waist quickly retracted, you groaned at the loss of contact.

“Don’t you want me, Lucas?” his big eyes stared at yours like he was looking for something. “I do want you Y/N but this just seems way out of line. Did you drink too much? Do you want to go home?” then you kissed him. You kissed him again but pulled away once he didn’t kiss back. “Y/N, we can’t,” he stated firmly. “I just need to feel loved. Please, Lucas. Just this once,” for a moment, you felt like crying because of embarrassment. You humiliated yourself in front of your best fucking friend and on top of that, you probably scarred your most treasured friendship. fuck.

You felt his soft lips on yours, it felt like heaven, he felt like heaven. Lucas put his hands on your waist and yours on his hair, tugging lightly to which he moaned at. You were the one to pull away so that you could both catch your breath. “Just this once,” Lucas breathed and then pulled you to kiss him again.

Just this once quickly turned into days then into weeks ‘til you were fucked and it went on for months. Nothing much changed except that Lucas had fallen deeper in love with you, if that were even possible. The two of you pretty much fucked everywhere—after classes in the mathematics classroom, on his bed, on your couch, outside your porch, inside his bathroom, literally everywhere. You weren’t complaining because you knew you both wanted it.

Having sex with Lucas changed you though. You went to your classes feeling livelier than the day before, you finished the day looking forward to the next, you felt lighter. You weren’t the only one changing though, Lucas went to his classes more late than usual, he had eye bags weighing like tons of rocks and his hair disheveled albeit him convincing himself that he was happy.

He held you at night like he hasn’t before, the two of you were intimate and he was sure of that. He got to worship and appreciate your body and treat you like a queen. He had everything he could ever ask for so why was he so what was his problem? He thought about it for days and he knew why his feelings were a mess. It occurred to him that you may just be toying with him, maybe he was just another knot on your belt but he refused to believe that.

He tried his best to believe that you truly loved him. That your heart would beat the same as his when you two cuddled at night, but as longer the two of you fucked and lacked romance and passion, he was deeply convinced that you didn’t feel the same way about him. To feel at peace he asked you to meet him and he planned on confronting you.

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You looked gorgeous and you knew it. You had a big smile on your face, you were ecstatic to tell Lucas about your day but your smiled dropped once you saw Lucas’ eyes. It was full of sorrow, it reminded you of what your eyes once were.

“I’m tired of this,” he simply says. Lucas doesn’t look at you. “Then you should rest,” “I’m tired of us, Y/N,” he stated again. You felt a pang in your heart, you weren’t quite sure why.

“Let’s stop then,” you replied back and took a step forward towards him. “It’s not easy to break what we have, you and I both know that,” “Then let’s go take a break. We can do that,”

He huffed and clenched his fists. He fucking huffed at you, what the hell was his problem? “Are you going through something? Are you okay? Because what the fuck Lucas”, you continued, “You do not invite me over just so you could clench and fucking get piss-“ “I love you,” he cut you off then he looked at you.

Ah, and there it was. His eyes he was trying so hard to hide. His eyes that held the truth and the affection. He loves you and you want to run away—so you did. You ran as far as you can, not caring that you were almost hit by multiple vehicles. You shouted and cried, you questioned why He has to be so cruel. Why he makes your best friend fall in love with you.

You didn’t deserve Lucas and you know it. You corrupted him enough already and this? Him falling in love with you, him wanting to have you as his forever? Everything made you feel mad. Next thing you know, you were out partying again. Lucas hasn’t called nor texted, he didn’t try to stop you when you ran away ‘He probably expected that already’ you thought.

It’s been exactly 4 months since Lucas confessed and you running away like a coward.

You had thought over and over about what you should do. Why you want to fix things, why you ran away, why you wanted him back. You were scared to try but you were willing to try. You loved him back so you approached him at lunch break.

He was sat with Mark and Donghyuck, they patted him on the back when they saw you approach.

“Hey, can we talk?” your hands were trembling. He took one look at you and he caved in. Truth be told, he didn’t want to speak with you. Both of you were hurt and he was just in the process of moving on from it. “Okay,” then you two walk outside.

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“Lucas, I’m sorry,” when he didn’t respond you continued. “I’m sorry for running away that night. I know I shouldn’t have but I can’t take it back so I’m sorry,” you hear him sigh. “I-I want to try. I want to try to be in a relationship with you,” you see him wince at the word ‘try’ “Why?” he finally speaks. “Because I love you too, Lucas,” and then he shakes his head in disbelief. “You say you love me, it took you four months to realize that? Did all the partying and sex the past three months tire you, hm?” he was angry but you let him continue “W-why do you love me Y/N?” your eyes started to well. You weren’t sure how to answer him, you could tell him all the things you love about him and what makes him so lovable but you too weren’t sure why. “I was afraid of commitments. Scratch that, I still am. Wanting to try with you means I really love you, don’t I? Doesn’t that count for something? And you love me too,” you were crying now.

“So you love me because I love you,” it wasn’t a question, it was more of a statement but you nodded nonetheless. “You can’t love me just because I love you. You were addicted to me Y/N, hell you may still be!” his words were hurting you, it was making your heart ache. “You stopped drinking and smoking when we started fucking. You know why that happened Y/N?” a few students were looking at the two of you but Lucas didn’t seem fazed. “I was your drug. You used me to distract you and then you got scared because I actually had real feelings for you and you ran away because you were scared—and I understand that. But, you returning here just because what? You hurt me and you feel bad? You come back because you know that I would accept you again?” Lucas had started to cry too.

“You cannot love me just because I love you. It’s not fair,” he exhales, “I need to be with someone who truly loves me. I cannot settle for less, because that’s what I deserve,” he finally breathes.

For the first time, you felt happy. You know he didn’t deserve to be with someone as fucked up as you are and you were glad he made the decision not to. He leaves you there alone in the middle of the hallway, crying but you felt joy.

Wong Yukhei, your favorite drug. Everyone gets addicted to something , don’t they? Turns out that yours was your best friend and even if him leaving left a huge hole in your heart, to which you know couldn’t be filled again, you were happy he would stay away from you.

Maybe in another life you could be the person he deserved. You could be the person he would want to be with. Maybe in another life.

And with that, you closed your eyes as you felt blood leave your body and your vision became blurry. The last thing you saw was Lucas carrying you outside of your building and he was crying. He was trying so hard to keep you alive but you knew—you knew he was too late. You put your hands on his cheek and whispered, “I love you, Wong Yukhei. You will always have my heart. I love,” you were cut off as soon as you took your last breath. Lucas held you in his arms like he did back at the club when you wore that green silk slip dress.

date posted: apr 27 2020