#murder huabands

[ak-rye-47]

looks like a cinnamon roll is a cinnamon roll

Looks like a cinnamon roll will Give you a cinnamon roll...Cross them and see where the cinnamon roll goes next

Looks like a cinnamon roll hides a gun in a cinnamon roll

Looks like a cinnamon roll has already killed you for assuming they look like a cinnamon roll

looks and Is begging you to assume they are a cinnamon roll.....killed a whole town once

Looks like they could kill you will bargain using a cinnamon roll to get their way....won't hesitate if you don't

Looks like a cinnamon roll can but won't kill you( you are not worth the effort, time and mental health to)

Looks like a cinnamon roll _WILL_ kill you....then go out for cinnamon rolls

Looks like they could kill you _WILL_ kill you too

Then go out looking for cinnamon rolls for them

[leatherbookmarking]

Oh my god that sounds wonderful, I really love it, I especially love idea of ghost Madam Lan singing to survivors, like some creepy undead siren, and it is beautiful and melancholy ( even if I misread it as Madam Lan hypnotizing Wen Sect remnants to die with her) and then possessing Xichen. Also idea: Madam Lan just adoring her sons-in-law. Wuxian is so cheerful and smart and exactly what Wangji wants and needs and he has style, and Meng Yao... Meng Yao reminds her bit of herself, back when 1/2

she still had some form of conscience! So after hearing of all troubles Wangji went through with confessing (because of course in middle of hostage situation LXC is preoccupied with his brother's love life and happiness) , Madam Lan decides to be there for her sons this time and sets out to get him and JGY togetehr, with... creative advice. ''A-Huan needs to be bit less uptight and idealistic, true, but you Meng Yao need to elarn not to take everything to heart. Disagreements are normal part 2/3

of relationship, if we dwelled on them forever- why, I'd never get married! - Didn't your huaband lock you up for some 30 or so years? - Well, yes but he also locked himself up, and helped me hack my siblings' and sworn sister's bodies into tiny pieces and feed them to swine after I harvested their souls for rituals, so he is allowed little bit of leeway. And it was partially my fault, I mean I murdered his relative in his courtyard, after I already ahd his grandpa poisoned...'' 3/3

I MIGHT BE YELLING

ok so truth be told i meant for madam lan to still be alive but slowly getting a handle on this whole “making resentful souls do your bidding” thing; she has no instrument in her humble abode because the lans practice music cultivation, of course they wouldn’t hand her a potential weapon! but she can still use her voice. this is sponsored by my heart flutters @ wwx and his ominous whistling, and perhaps madame lan does sound like a siren when she’s singing. maybe something like this, except less “opera mermaid” and more “a woman, skinny in a way that appears willow-like at first but becomes ghastly the more you look, humming alone in a dark room under a cave with a smile that feels like death” but ohhh god. sexy son possession? SO SEXY

and YEAH she’d totes be down for some matchmaking, but oh my god what kind of matchmaking would it be...

lan xichen: (wanted to sit with meng yao under plum trees and gaze at the moon, hold his petite hands in his, give him everything he wanted and himself on top of it)

madam lan, serenely: your father loved me so much he put me in a box like a precious cup and forbade everyone to even look at me, so i would be his and only his and no one else’s in this world, but eventually he couldn’t look at me too, guilty of what he’s done; it doesn’t matter. because i took him back, took him in my body, and now he’s in me, forever*. don’t you think this boy is a bit like him, too? so much blood, but not a drop was yours, and he ran away from the world but wanted to take you with him, isn’t that love, my dear?

jin guangyao: (also wanted to hold hands and fuck in hanshi, but then things went pear-shaped and you know what? he’ll take whatever there is to take)

* “madam lan, wei wuxian style, has the souls of vengeful dead with her, and They Are Legion” is a nice hill, you know

and just. poor lan xichen who just wanted to be just and true to his ideals and he wanted everyone to be happy and he meant well! he saw good! he wanted to see good! running away from the world with his gentle loving mother who is still loving but not gentle anymore, and his horrible beloved, who, as it turns out, won’t hesitate to do whatever he can to survive. this is so horrible. poor lan xichen

but does he stand in front of jin guangyao as lan wangji moves to kill him? does he tell wangji in a horribly sad voice to lower his sword, let’s talk? GASPS ok ok ok backtracking: what if madam lan is dead, but her soul is like, powered up thanks to her resentful outer disciple buddies, AND she does possess xichen, who then... idk.... carries her soul in a qiankun pouch like the world’s most horrible takeout? and she managed to get out to possess him again to fight? ominously humming lan xichen surrounded by black smoke? wei wuxian is shocked, lan wangji is HORRIFIED and DEVASTATED, jin guangyao is HORNY, ACTUALLY

(i am a soft bastard so in this case perhaps wwx shouts lan zhan! and madame lan!xichen stops and she’s like. what. wh. what did you say. and they have a talk and she’s so happy to see her little boys, both of them, so grown up, so beautiful, so strong! let’s stay together forever, forever)

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“Woman Killer Fails In Claim For Estate,” Montreal Star. April 5, 1932. Page 6. --- Court Declares Prisoner Is Unworthy ---- A woman who deliberately takes the life of her huaband is unworthy to succeed to his estate, Mr. Justice Joseph Archambault decided in the Superior Court this morning in cancelling the will of the late Emile Ponlot in favor of his widow, now serving 18 years in Kingston Penitentiary for manslaughter. Instead of to the widow, all the estate left by the dead man will revert to his mother and brother under the finding of the court.

Ponlot was shot by his wife on June 19, 1930 and the woman was subsequently tried on a charge of murder. In the Court of King's Bench, the charge was reduced to manslaughter. Ponlot left a life insurance policy for $3,047, an accident policy for $1500, cash of $710 in the bank and a property on Cartier street valued at $3,600.

After the conviction of Mrs. Ponlot, an action was taken by her mother-in-law and brother-in-law, asking that the will and policies made in favor of the widow should be cancelled for the legal ground of "ingratitude." 

The widow, who was brought under guard to court from Kingston Penitentiary, at the time of the trial submitted that the shooting was an accident and that this contention was born out by the jury, which reduced the original charge of murder to manslaughter. 

Although the jury had reduced the charge, the evidence produced at the trial showed that the wife had fired intentionally at her husband, Mr. Justice Archambault held today in giving judgment.

[webabybouquetwastelandfan]

City police announced Sunday the arrests of Keith Smith and his daughter, Valeria Smith, in the Dec. 1, 2018, killing of Jacquelyn Smith. They are charged with first-degree murder.

from Local News https://www.wbal.com/article/376032/124/huaband-stepdaughter-held-without-bail-in-jacquelyn-smiths-killing via WBAL

[ak-rye-47]

Matt : * Disrespects Enzo after he made a sassy comment *

Damon : * Deep breathes* Donovon!! Keep that attitude up and you will become the strange smell coming out of my attic....some from my closet, a bit of it from my kitchen and rest from my garden which i would play it off to be manure... Maybe even a little bit from my Dogs mouth if he agrees to the low quality meat * All the while a hysterical smile plastered on his face * Are we clear?"

Enzo : *heart eyes* "Ain't my husband cute?"

Rest of the gang... absolutely horrified.

Bonnie : " oh!! Yeahhhhhhh sure adorable!!! " * She drunk it's party night*

Stefan : " Can i play with your dog? "

Caroline : " Stefan hun he doesn't have a dog"

Stefan : " awww shucks! But he said!! " *He is plastered drunk*

Ric : " seriously THATS what you focus on? "

Elena : " But don't you think you should respect the closet?....given it's your old home I mean...."

Damon : *Twitching*

[ak-rye-47]

Enzo :

"Do you or do you not feel Bonita??!!"

Damon : * Who was drugged,tied up to the chair and was assaulted out of a black T and into a white shirt....aware of the dagger in Enzo's hands*

: " I-I feel Bonita"

Enzo : *wiping his tears* "WONDERFUL cause you LOOK Bonita!!!!"

Damon : " Now can you please!! ask stef and bonnie to take that lighter away from my clothes it's John Vancouver!!!!!"

Stefan and Bonnie: " Do we have the permission capt'n"

Enzo : * With a Hysterical look on his face, whispering *

"No.....Not yet......"

*pulls out hair curler, eye liner and a ear piercing machine....time for makeover Biotch!!!!!!*

Damon : * Sobs*

Ric : "told you that marrying him would be a bad idea"

Damon : "shudh ahpp!!! "

P.S Damon is enjoying being tied up to a chair by his hub, *wink wink* He's goin to return the favor Enzo is gonna regret (fuckin love) *wink wink*