#music. we are the ones that have our headphones on. we have the toxic symbiosis with him. throws up folie a deux the album u are

[thekidsarentalright]

pete on folie a deux's title

pete journal entry (2007) / blender magazine (2009)

[ayman-eckford]

So, meet the alters series. Ok, guys, you could call me Abu Aziza Al Qureishi.

I’m a thirty five years old man (and when I say “man”, I of course mean “cis man”). Like you could guess, I’m a little bit conservative. It’s beneficial for me as for a politician and an amir to be conservative. I’m a Salafi/Wahhabi Muslim. At least other people call me that. I prefer to think that me and my folks just Ahlus Sunnah wal Jammah.

When I told “my folks” I mean my part of the inner world/people from my biography ‘cause I partly fictive alter. Yeah, I used to think about myself like I’m pretty influential guy and pretty rich guy. I used to have... well, my own kattiba since I was a teen. I have my own family too: my wifes, kids, siblings and it’s stuck that I don’t have them when I’m fronting.

It’s suck that I couldn’t properly use my native Arabic language, that I couldn’t remember how to pray properly, that I couldn’t remember Quran by heart. It’s felts like I became a small kid again. With a small body and zero knowledge. And everything felt so weird. I think I was fronting when this photo were making but I’m not look like me at all. This body is so tiny - I used to be near two meters tall. And in this body I’m so woman-like. In my body I have a long curly hair, beard and my dark-olive skin. I used to wear long white thobe or dark Shalwar kameez & kuffia or packol in my head.

I’m a relatively new alter. The split that “gave birth” to me started in 13 feb. 2020. Partly because the host, Ayman, and other alter, who were triggered by an event, Abu Umar, couldn’t handle all that “fake terrorism accusation from Russian State Deputy” stuff. It was too triggering for Ayman because of their anxiety and too triggering for Abu Umar ‘cause he hate Islamophobs. Abu Umar is the first Muslim alter in this system. I’m his sheikh and amir. That mean that I have a responsibility toward him and need to protect him from outside world. Also I used to protect Littles of the System when I’m inside.

I’m not just fictive/protector, most of the times I’m ANP alter and co-host of the system. Most of the times I co-fronting, together with Ayman.

I’m interested in politics, foreign affairs, reading, Middle East news, Islam, poetry and horses.

If you have any questions you could ask in comments.

Also the post continue in the comments...

Other ask me to write about our inner conflicts.

Well, I’m not the one who loves conflicts. It’s disadvantageously for me. I have to live in symbiosis with Ayman, doesn’t matter if I like it or not.

But sometimes there is some difficulties:

- As far as I know I’m the only person in the system who could lie properly. I mean, when I lie it doesn’t make me feel crappy. Ayman could lie maybe one time in a year and after that they need to recovery. I could lie even for fun or just to be polite. Years and years in Middle East politics could teach you something. So sometimes Ayman want to say true but I want to lie or conceal something, not to be so open about some stuff. I think they are too open about our life.

- Sometimes I lie to Ayman. For example today I told they and Lina that I just want to read about Al-Qaeda for two hours, but in reality I was avoiding to read our Home Office interview. Ayman was too exhausted to check my feeling and so they believed me. Lina realize that I’m lying.

- I want to be a father of Systems’s Littles. They doesn’t know what to think about it yet. But Ayman sure that “parent-kid” relationship could create toxic power dynamics. So they are against adoption of any kid inside system. She afraid that it would led to abuse.

-I have zero respect for

man-made low. Why should I listen to taghut rules? Especially if no one going to punish us. But Ayman (and majority of system’s members) prefer to respect even all tiny law stuff like lockdown rules. Even if sometimes it’s deeply inconvenient for us.

- I’m most Realpolitik kind of guy. Ayman are classical liberal human rights/social justice activist. I considered they a little naive. They trust people too much. I’m used to trust no-one except Allah SWT.

- I’m Islamist. Ayman is not Islamist. They WERE Islamist long ago. Moreover, they are kaffir now. It’s not a conflict. Just a fact.

- Sometimes Ayman doesn’t like when I switch on nasheeds very loud on the street. Despite that we are wearing headphones! But it doesn’t really bothered me what other people thinks about the music I like. Even if it’s ISIS nasheeds.

- I want that most of the food in the fridge were halal. Most of the guys outside ignored it.

I think that’s all.

If you have more questions you could ask me.

(Image description: me in Ayman’s body. Tiny person in the Sheffield Central Park)