#my aunts dog got my glove that I forgot to put into my pocket and I'm bummed about it

[cola-vampire]

Could left-handed artists be given some love and get left-handed artist gloves? I keep finding right-handed ones only.

I have been using fingerless winter gloves to draw on my iPad.

I stg if I gotta make one myself I will

Edit: I forgot to clarify, fingerless winter gloves as in: The one's that are regular gloves but with the fingerless ones on top. I took them off because they're cool and I hate the feeling of the normal pair on my fingers

[rwbyremnants]

CHAPTER WARNINGS: Blowjob, anal fingering, anal plug.

NOTES: OKAY! WOW! What a long trip it's been! But yes this is the final chapter of the main storyline for White Noise. God! I can't believe it's actually all posted, it felt like I would never get it all done! Thanks to BangAYang for writing this with me, and again to my beta readers and to all of you for sticking with it until now (even if you didn't and come back to this years later, it's okay I understand haha it was really long). We've enjoyed every review. There'll be a little break, and then the first of the proper non-oneshot spinoff fics - "Black Tie" - will start getting posted. Hope you guys are ready! -NaughtyButWeiss

=Chapter 43

EPILOGUE PART 2

Yang’s ecstatic expression was put on a grinding halt, eyes snapping open as she looked toward the bedroom door. Just when Weiss was getting to the good part, Ruby had arrived early. Of all the days!

"SHIT!" Weiss burst out as her wife’s half-hard cock dropped from her mouth, eyes wide. "Why couldn't she have waited a couple more minutes?!" Indecisive for a few seconds, she drew the fingers out as smoothly as she could without being cruel.

"Nnnn!" Groaning outwardly, she lowered her legs off Weiss's shoulders as she panted for a moment, swiping the matted hair out of her face. "Shit, you've still got the… You know, up in there… I'm gonna have to get the door."

"If you don't mind? I also have to dispose of this glove…" Flipping off of the bed, she waddled awkwardly across the room and scooped up Yang's underwear with the other hand, running into the master bathroom as she tossed it to her with a whispered, "Catch!"

"Oop!" Even though exhausted, she managed to catch the panties in midair, quickly forcing them back on as quick as she could. Soon after she frantically forced on the rest of her clothes, shorts, bra, shirt, even quickly pulled the snood over her head and around her neck. At least that would hide any love bites.

DING DONG! The doorbell sounded again throughout the house.

"I'm coming!" she shouted loudly. There was a quiet chuckle to herself when she realised it was the second time she'd said that today. But once down the stairs, she took a small moment to calm herself as she held the doorknob. The worst thing would be to give away what they were just doing, especially to who was behind the door.

After making sure she looked presentable, and wasn't panting for breath, she opened the door with a grin. "Hey sis!"

"Hey!" Ruby Rose's hair was even shorter than it had been the last time they saw each other, chopped off into a pixie-cut with a streak of deep crimson in the fringe. For a second, that was all Yang could see as Ruby pulled her in for a tight hug. "Penny's right behind me with your little bundle, and… an extra something special!"

"Oh God, you didn’t finally get a dog and name it Drei, did you? I told you we can't have a dog until she's at least five." Over Ruby's shoulder she spotted Penny leaning into the backseat. That gave her enough time to stroke the crimson streak in her hair when they pulled away. "Hey, the red really, really suits you."

She grinned giddily, adjusting her trendy glasses. "Yeah? Penny pushed me to do it when she saw me staring at the picture in the salon's style book while we waited. And, well… another friend. I mean, you're sure it's not too short? That I'm not trying to be too Emma Watson?"

"Hell no, you look fantastic! I love the new you!" She grinned. But the instant she spotted Penny finished with what she was doing, she took a few steps back, watching as she walked up the pathway towards them.

Her and a smaller someone else. A little toddler with shoulder length blonde hair, one whose hand Penny held as she walked rather quickly toward the doorway. Ruby's girlfriend called up to the two girls staring. "Sorry! She insisted on walking herself, and I can't say no to that face!"

"Mama, mama!" the apple-cheeked girl chirruped, trying to break into a run but being held back by Penny for fear she would trip and fall. The harsh paving stones leading to the front porch weren't nearly as forgiving as the hardwood or carpeting indoors.

"Oops!" Ruby tittered as she stepped off to one side. "Not even gonna try to get between a mother and daughter!"

"Don't even try," Yang laughed, but her face lit up when she lowered herself to her knees, throwing her arms out wide to invite the little one into them. "There she is! My favourite girl ever!"

Once only a few tiles away, Penny released her hand, letting her run freely back to her mother. Grinning as she watched her jump into the hug. "She's been very good, Yang! We went to the park and she tried to make friends with one of the ducks, until a goose came along that is."

"The goosey made, um, a noise at me!" she told her mother, trying to be as articulate as her small mind and mouth could be. "And I dropped the crumbs, and Aunt Ruby laughed!"

"Well, it was pretty funny," Ruby admitted with a little snort.

"She did?" Yang asked, lifting the small girl up and into her arms, taking a small moment to pull her in toward her and rub their noses against one another. The girl giggled. But straight after she looked to Ruby, stepping closer, within the small girl's arm length. "Well maybe little Fènleng should take Aunty Ruby's nose this time!"

At this suggestion, the girl bit her bottom lip, trying not to grin but being too young to have that much control over her own expression. Ruby gasped theatrically, leaning closer to ask, "Oh no! Are you gonna get my nose?"

"Nose!" Fènleng shouted, reaching out to touch it and clench her hand into a fist. She couldn't quite manage the manoeuvre that the adults did, sticking a thumb between fingers to approximate what it would look like holding a nose, but the fist was doable.

"NOOOOO!" Ruby wailed, holding a hand to her face. "Where'd my nose go?! What happened?!"

All the while, Yang giggled, holding Fènleng closer to her in order to support her as best she could. Once sure she could do that with one arm, she held her hand out to her. "Quick, let Mommy hide it in her pocket, we can feed it to the goose."

Immediately, the girl handed it over, and Ruby let out a long groan. "Ohhhh, how am I supposed to smell your stinky butt now?"

The reaction was instant. "STINKY BUTT!" the toddler cackled, wriggling in Yang's arms. It was one of the girl’s favourite phrases to parrot. "Stinky butt, stinky butt!"

"Well sometimes it is," Yang said under her breath, just enough so Fènleng herself wouldn't realise, but Ruby and Penny would. But after a moment longer, she held up the hand with Ruby's 'nose', finally chuckling. "Alright alright, we'll give it back, I think Aunty Penny wants Ruby to smell her nice perfume."

And while Yang pretended to put it back on her face, Penny raised a hand to her own mouth, chuckling happily. "Well yes, but I think she needs it more to smell the cookies she'll make next time we have you!"

"Oh!" Ruby yelped, once she had her imaginary nose back in place. Yang’s daughter was still enjoying saying "stinky butt" over and over. "Speaking of which… don't forget the box from the car, okay, Penny?"

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Whilst Penny turned her back and ran back toward the car, Yang turned toward Ruby again, stroking the light blonde hair of Fènleng to smooth it down.

"You didn't have to get us anything, Rubes. Looking after this lil' devil while we're figuring out the tour stuff was more than enough."

"Hey, tomorrow's your anniversary!" Then she shrugged. "Not your wedding anniversary, but the dating one. I know you try to play it off as being not a big deal, but Weiss mentioned it last time we talked, and I figured… I mean, we didn't do anything huge, don't worry."

"Wow, really? I totally… forgot." Checking for a moment that Fènleng was still alright in her grip, she chuckled to herself, scratching the top of her head nervously. “So this time five years ago I was freaking out because we kissed… yeah."

"Guess so." Once Penny returned, carrying a square, flat box, Ruby smiled and said, "Shall we go inside, dear sister o' mine? Winter said she can't be by until later tonight, so there's not much use hangin' around outside."

"Absolutely! We'll let this little dragon go pester the little snowball."

Yang opened the door even further, carrying her daughter inside while she let the other two follow after her. She trusted her sister would remain downstairs in the lounge and kitchen areas only; she'd been over a million and one times to know she only went upstairs if Yang called her up. But even then, she couldn't help but slightly worry about either of them seeing Weiss before she was ready.

Once she placed Fènleng down on the large rug in the living room, she approached the stairs. The least she could do was subtly warn Weiss about them. "Snowflake? You want a coffee? Ruby and Penny will be having one!"

The only response was a muffled, "What?" from upstairs. Being that close, Yang could hear her rushing around, but the noises probably wouldn't quite reach back to the kitchen. But Yang could tell just what she was doing. Their conversation outside distracted enough for her to correct the major problem, least she hoped. The rest they could blame on something else.

Talking of which: "Coffee!" she repeated. "Once you're done with your bath, I mean!"

"No, I'm almost done!" Weiss called down to her, apparently grateful for the excuse. There was some thumping again, and she added, "And yeah, I'll take a decaf! Getting too late for more cappuccino!"

"Alrighty!" Yang called up again, turning to the other two as she prepared the machine. "And how about you two?"

"With cream, please, Yang. That would be wonderful!” Penny took a seat on the sofa next to the curled-up feline, watching while Ruby continued to play with Fènleng a little longer. "Oh, we did briefly talk to your father while we were out; he said he wants to visit soon, and that he has some stuff for Fèn's room."

"Yeah," Ruby laughed nervously. "He doesn't seem to realize you guys already have a huge ton of stuff in there, but… it's cute. Doting grandpa."

"Probably a woodwork project again, like the rocking horse. It keeps him busy as well, so can't complain." Once finished making the drinks, Yang headed back into the room, resting them on the table and out of Fèn's reach, before sitting on the rug down by her side. Thinking about how excited of a grandpa Taiyang had become made her glow with happiness; seemed their awkward, uncertain days were truly behind them now.

"We're gonna have to start looking at daycare soon,” Yang added with a sigh. “That's gonna feel so weird."

Ruby shrugged, taking one mug into her own lap. She still preferred hot chocolate, but had gained an appreciation for mocha. "Won't be so bad. Penny and I can take her whenever she's not there, and Dad on the weekends. It takes a village, right?"

"Yeah, true. Could ask both her grandpas to alternate between weekends, might get them talking rather than competing to be 'best granddad'." However, she then grasped Fènleng's arms, pulling her in toward her again as she leant down to press her face against her neck, moving her head back and forth to tickle her with her nose. "But this little one loves the attention, don't you princess?"

"Mama, stoooop!" Fèn giggled, her tiny legs flailing around as she tried to push her parent's face away.

"She does," Ruby admitted with a huge grin. "I mean, I've only seen her playing with Grandpa Schnee once, I think, but he's just as bad as Dad is, really."

"He certainly is," Weiss called out as she joined them, walking down the stairs smoothly, like a supermodel. She was wearing the same outfit as before, but her hair was back in place, and her face was no longer shining with sweat. Then she barked dramatically at her wife, "Woman! Where is my coffee?!"

"Oh my god, what did your last slave die of?" she asked, quickly giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek before she released her from her grip, hopping to her feet to go get it.

From her seat on the sofa, Penny looked around, smiling happily up at her. "We were just saying how good she's been today, she fed the ducks and tried to be friends with them."

"Of course she became friends with them," Weiss said airily. "My little Fèn is the sweetest girl in the universe." Then she bent down very slightly and grinned, adding, "Yes she is, yes she is!"

As the little girl laughed and clapped, Ruby shook her head. "You turn into the goofiest pop star I know when your daughter is around. It's so cute!"

"And how many pop stars do you know, anyway?" Weiss laughed at her.

"I think she classes the occasional times we've met Neon or at least seen her around as 'knowing' her, it seems." Taking her own mug from the table, Penny took a small sip, before setting it down to stroke the cat that had now nestled into her side. "Speaking of which, did you finish that tour planning you were worried about?"

"We did." Now she leaned against the side of the couch, seemingly still waiting for Yang to return before she joined them fully. "There are one or two other… logistical matters to attend, but I think we have it all mapped out, all the venues booked." She allowed herself a small smile. "To be honest, I'm getting really excited. It'll be so much fun to get back on the stage again, sing the old hits!"

"You say that as if you're thirty and looking back to the glory days." Her wife had re-entered the room, another mug in her hand. This time a novelty one she bought for Weiss last year, with “world's best mom” printed on the side. Holding it out toward her, she laughed. "And if anyone's doing that, it should be me."

"You're only pushing thirty," Weiss reminded her quickly. "Not there yet - and don't rush me, either! I don't want to be married to some old lady!"

Scoffing, Ruby chimed in, "Hey, that's my sister you're talking about! Pick on somebody your own size!"

"Oh, like you?" She raised the hand not holding her coffee mug in a fist. "Let's go! Come on, short stuff!"

"Why must you bring violence into this house?" Yang asked, taking her seat back down next to Fènleng as she continued to play with one of her soft toys, not that she took her eyes off her sister and her wife. "Honestly, there's a child present here!"

"Ruby, why don't you show Weiss and Yang… the thing instead?" Penny asked, gesturing to the flat box she had left the other side of the sofa.

"The thing?" Weiss asked patiently, lowering her hand to sip the coffee instead.

"Oh! Yeah, we got you something for the anniversary!" Popping up, she raced around the couch to pick it up, bringing it around to set it on the table between the other coffee mugs.

"Ruby… you didn't have to do anything. I was just going to give Yang a big kiss in the morning and tell her I was happy with her, that's all."

"Yeah it's not a big deal, just our dating anniversary. Wedding's got nine months yet," Yang added, shuffling slightly up to the table. She'd been curious from the start.

"Oh we know." Penny continued to pet the purring feline, smiling contentedly. "But we felt we had to. This is special for you, even if most other people might wait for the wedding anniversary. But we are your family! Let us bend the rules."

"And now, without further ado," Ruby said in her best game show announcer voice as she grasped the lid. "We present… your present!"

Weiss snorted at that small Yang-worthy pun, then again when she saw what was inside: a pizza-sized chocolate chip cookie with icing around the edges, and some in the middle that spelled out "HAPPY DATE-IVERSARY WEISS AND YANG" in white and yellow letters.

"Wow, you guys. This is… I don't know if I should laugh or not!"

"Oh my god, that is amazing!" Yang was laughing at least, kneeling up to look at the giant treat. The fact that her sister thought about it and did something for it filled her with glee, made her feel appreciated by her, and everyone around her in the room. And it did look delicious, even if a little silly. "I gotta get a photo of this for Facebook, this is the best!"

"Okay," Ruby laughed, holding the lid further open for Yang as she got her phone out. "Yeah, I know it's kinda silly, but like you said, doing a whole party or getting a gift does seem kinda weird for a date-iversary, so… big cookie! Right?"

"Well, I really appreciate this," Weiss was chuckling, trying not to laugh too openly at the gesture. Then she smiled a little more earnestly; she couldn't help but grin at the little dork. Cute as a button, and she had proven a really good friend both before and after she and Yang reconnected. "Seriously, this will go great with my coffee. Good timing!"

Taking a few snaps for herself, Yang continued to grin. The knowledge that her sister thought of them was enough to fill her with joy. Once her phone was away, she couldn't help but look to Fènleng again, still playing, still happy as can be.

"Who'da thought all this would come after five years? Crazy."

"Yeah," Weiss had to sigh as she gazed in the same direction, watching her girl finally pull up on the table to walk over and see what everyone was looking at. Her smile was muted, serene. Tranquil. "Life is pretty crazy."

"COOKIE!" Fènleng cried out when she spotted it, and everyone laughed aloud. "Cookie, cookie, I want it!"

"That cookie is for everyone!" Ruby told her with a little giggle as she picked her up by the belly. "But as long as Mama and Mom say it's okay, you can have some!"

Pursing her lips briefly, Weiss put her free hand on her hip and asked, "Are you sure you didn't somehow splice your DNA into our child, Ruby Rose?"

"Wait and see if she has her own. Two cookie loving little ones running around," Yang teased, but watched as Ruby's reaction was beginning to become wide eyed and embarrassed, to which she laughed. "Dude, I'm kidding! Wow, chill."

"O-oh," Ruby laughed nervously. "Good, 'cause I, um… my parts weren't really designed for that, I don't think!" Then she brightened. "Oh, but we are talking about getting a sugar glider! Wouldn't that be awesome?!"

"We thought with our current employment, it would be more manageable than a dog. Also, I could see little Fènleng enjoying watching it fly around the room when she visits."

While Penny explained their rationale behind getting such a pet, Yang was already picking a small piece off from one side, making sure it had part of the icing as well, and then handing it over to her daughter. "Okay, that does sound pretty awesome, actually. We thought about getting her a bunny, at some point maybe. But right now I think Xu-Xu is plenty."

Ruby finally scooted over and patted the seat beside her. "C'mon, sit, Weiss! Enjoy the cookie! Oh, I'll go get a knife to cut it with!"

"That's really not-" But Ruby was already dashing into the kitchen. "Honestly, that girl…"

"Hey, she brought us the cookie and is offering to cut it for us,” Yang laughed. “That's pretty awesome, if you ask me."

"I'll bring the box to you, Ruby. Might as well avoid getting crumbs everywhere." Finally leaving Xu-Xu be, Penny went to pick up the box, heading toward the kitchen with it to follow.

But while those two were both elsewhere, and their daughter was content enough with her piece of cookie, Yang moved to sit herself by Weiss's side. For a moment she checked to make sure no one was listening, she whispered, "Guess it took you a minute to get… the thing out by yourself. Sorry I had to bail."

Weiss's smile was very… public. Like one she had worn to countless press conferences and talk shows over the years. Glancing at the kitchen, she leaned over and whispered back, "Why do you think I'm still standing up?"

"Well I don't know. Why are you st- o-oh…" That made a lot of sense now. And also made Yang blush like wildfire again. “It’s still in there?! After all this time?”

“Yes! Shhhhh!” Glancing at the kitchen again, she muttered, “I tried, but it just… wouldn’t budge! And me being nervous made me clench, and it not coming out made me more nervous, so more clenching… there was just nothing I could do!”

Yang was completely flabbergasted – along with being vaguely turned on. They had been having perfectly normal conversations with her sister, and their own daughter in the room, and Weiss still had that in the entire time?! Then again, she knew how big it was, and that meant it was difficult to remove. Leaning in again, she whispered, "Okay. It’s no big deal, right? This is what that thing’s made to do, after all – stay put. I'll help you with it when they leave; or we can put Fèn down for a nap and then do it."

"Honestly, it's not as difficult to manage as I expected," she said, though admitting that did finally make her break her facade of aloofness. Her cheeks turned a very pale shade of the pink in Yang's as she glanced down at her coffee cup. "Though… yeah, that's a good idea. I don't want to still have it in for the rest of the night while we're all talking if they decide to stay."

"We'll have some cookie then take Fèn upstairs if they don’t go." Though when spotting the others coming back with plates, she quickly ran a hand over her face, in a ridiculous attempt to try and hide the blush. Not that it really worked at all. Still, she smiled at the two. "Thanks so much, guys. You really didn't have to."

"Our pleasure!" Ruby said, holding the plate out to Weiss, which she took with a genuine smile. Though things might not have been as calm as they seemed on the surface, she did appreciate the thought. Her girlfriend's younger sibling was literally the best sister-in-law she could have asked for.

"Thanks, you two," she finally breathed, tearing up slightly. "Really."

Rolling her silvery eyes, Ruby put a hand to Weiss's shoulder and began steering her toward the couch. "Seriously, stop thanking us and start eating — and sit down, already!"

"N-no, I've been sitting all day long," she laughed nervously. "I'm in a standing mood."

"Don't be silly," Ruby told her with a little snort, pulling very lightly backward once she had Weiss positioned in front of a cushion. "Just watch your coffee."

"Shit, my-"

So Weiss did as she was bade; she focused all of her attention on making sure she didn't spill a drop of it as she went down to a sitting position. At the last second, Yang tried to call out and aide her wife, "O-oh, Ruby! You didn't have to-"

"NNhhAH!"

But it was too late. Weiss was down, somehow without managing to drop her coffee at all, or the plate of cookie that was handed over to her. Though that meant she had no choice but to allow herself to moan. That slight noise of discomfort had another side effect: it made Yang blush once again.

And this time, when she sat next to Xu-Xu, Penny noticed. "Are… you two alright?"

"J-just fine," Weiss said while clearing her throat. Bravely, she even crossed her legs to seem as if her sitting position was more casual, though that would definitely have shifted the plug around inside of her. "NohhAAAHothing to worry about!" Clearly, that had been a mistake, but there was no undoing the action now.

"Your cheeks are all red." Ruby looked between them, then focused on Yang. "Yours, too — are you guys hiding something?"

"Nope! No, we're good! Just, uh… looking forward to this, uh, this delicious cookie…" Yang nabbed a piece of her own share to try and eat, like somehow it would help. They seemed to have resigned to the fate that until Ruby and Penny left, it was going to remain in place. And Weiss was going to be slightly uncomfortable for that duration.

"Riiiiiiight," Ruby said with a slight squint, but then she shrugged and picked up her own plate. "I hope you like it, this bakery is supposed to be REALLY good."

"It is," Weiss said, lowering the piece she had nibbled the corner of. True as it was, she had barely been able to taste it, so focused was she on her own mild discomfort. "Tastes like a cookie, alright. As… cookies do…"

Even her conversational skills were suffering, it seemed. Ruby leaned over slightly and put her hand to Weiss's forehead, then frowned. "You're all warm! Are you sure you're alright?"

"Y-yes! Take your hand off my face, that's n-not public property!"

This was going to get worse as things went on, at least Yang knew they would. They had to get rid of them, somehow, in the politest way they could. But when she noticed Penny finishing her coffee, it'd given her an idea. "Hey, are you guys alright to leave after this? We wanna at least give Fènleng a nap before Winter gets here, you know how she is."

"Of course!” Penny piped up. “That's perfectly fine. We need to go to the grocery store anyway, so that all works out."

"Yeah," Ruby sighed, finally abandoning the way she was unintentionally torturing her sister-in-law. "We want to make vegan alfredo for a couple of our friends tomorrow night, and we're trying to find all the ingredients."

"Vegans," Weiss sighed. "I suppoort their life choice, I really do, but I couldn't live without actual milk in my lattes, I'm sorry."

"Oh, nor I! But we want to make them happy if we can, and the recipe looked rather enjoyable, so why not?" Penny asked, only to continue eating more of the cookie, smiling contentedly with how good it was.

"I remember having to cook vegan stuff at Sun's uncle's place. Nightmare. I got so annoyed, I had to wash the pan every time because we had to switch between using goose fat and vegetable oil. No wonder I ended up punching somebody." Although when noticing her daughter giving her a strange look, Yang looked back at her wide eyed, before raising a finger. "A-and you must never do that! Nope! Mommy was very naughty that day."

"Good catch," Weiss half-laughed around a huge bite of cookie. Then she turned back to Ruby, swallowed, and said, "Listen… I've been meaning to get back to you about that tennis match. I know it seems like I've been ducking your calls, but with the tour-"

"No, no!" Ruby told her immediately the minute she figured out where this was going, heading her off. "When I said it's no big deal, I meant it! You and Yang doing the tour thing again is a huge deal, why would I care about some dumb tennis game?"

"Because it's really important to me. My sister-in-law deserves bonding time with me if that's what she wants, and damn it, you’re gonna play with me next week – as much as you want!"

At that phrasing, Ruby scratched the back of her head as her cheeks reddened. Yang couldn’t suppress a smirk; she knew her wife didn’t notice how that sounded at all, and that her still-crushing sister was easy to fluster. That just made it even funnier. "W-well, you don't have to go that far…"

"Ruby, trust me; turning her down's the last mistake you'll ever make," Yang laughed. Even now, after five years of being together, a house, even a child together, the blonde still couldn't believe her luck. From a bodyguard, someone simply paid to keep people off Weiss's back; to her loving wife, mother, and a guitar act. Even if there was the occasional embarrassment or mood drop, Yang couldn't deny that married life was going splendidly.

The evening wore on, and Ruby and Penny both finished their cookies and said their goodbyes to Fènleng before they were guided to the door by Weiss and Yang. As Penny held the car keys in her hand, she turned to ask, "Same time next week? We thought we could take her to the park again, or to see Ruby's father for the day."

"He'd probably love that," Weiss laughed, gingerly hugging them. From Yang's view, she could see that she was clenching very slightly, but mostly she was taking it in stride by now. After all, once the first hour or two passed enduring such a thing, it was bound to start to become routine.

"And I'll see you sooner than that for tennis, maybe," Ruby whispered as she hugged back. "You just take care of business first, though, okay?"

"Will do," Weiss laughed, patting her on the shoulder before they parted. "See you wh… oh, for the love of Christ…"

Yes, of course Winter's car was just pulling in behind Ruby and Penny's, off to one side so they could still back out to leave. Driving the newest, most luxurious vehicle available, she certainly made an entrance. And now, there would be no time to take care of Weiss’s little problem between houseguests.

"Well shi-uuuuhhhh sugar. Sugar," Yang managed to say, well aware little Fènleng was within hearing distance.

Penny saw the other car as their queue to leave, quickly tapping Ruby's shoulder before gesturing toward the car. "Come on Ruby, maybe we can stop at Taco Bell on the way home if you want something. We'd better leave these two with Winter."

"Ohhh, you know I'm a sucker for a chalupa!" Practically drooling, the redhead dashed over to hug Winter. The two exchanged a few warm words that nobody else could overhear. Then Ruby waved over her shoulder at Weiss, Yang, and little Fènleng again before hopping into the car.

"Whew," Weiss breathed as she waved back. "Round one, finished. Round two, begin."

"You're gonna get me back for this, aren't you?" When there was no response from Weiss other then a gradual smirk, Yang had begun to hunch her shoulders, biting her lip. "Please be gentle?"

"Auntie Winter!" their daughter called out when she saw her walking up the pathway, holding a hand out toward her. Even at her age, she knew not to go outside until she had her mother's permission, so she waited for her to come to them.

"There's my little snowflake!" Despite the fact that they did not name their daughter after anything related to the coldest season of the year, both Winter and her father had always referred to her as "little snowflake". As nicknames go, it wasn't too bad. Even though her parents always told her no, there was nothing stopping the over-excited snowflake as she managed to climb through Yang's legs, hopping down the step and taking the few wobbly strides over to Winter, holding both of her hands up toward her.

"Up! Up!"

"Fèn, be care- ugh, who am I kidding, she's actually me." Yang rolled her eyes. Seeing as it was only a small amount of space, she was willing to let it slide for now. Instead she grinned at Winter. "Sup, sis'?"

"Not much on my end," Winter assured them with a slight smile. At least things weren’t quite as strained between them as they had been once upon a time. "Though I'm glad to hear things are going well for you?"

"Already heard through the grapevine, did you?" Weiss said with a slight laugh as she hugged her sister. They did not embrace nearly as long as she and Ruby, but it was better than they would have done years ago. "Yes, our tour is already selling tons of tickets. We just had to finalise the last few dates."

"Of course she knows, you and I both know Neon can't keep her mouth shut for anything." Yang moved to one side to allow their next guest in, smiling warmly. However, she did notice something that made her giggle. "Winter, I think you forgot to hug someone first."

"Up?" Fènleng's little arms were still up in the air as she faced Winter, jumping up and down as best she could with what little balance she had.

"Oh, alright, alright," Winter grumbled exaggeratedly, bending down to lift the small girl into the air completely. "Wheeee! Who's this? Who's this I have?"

"Yaaaay!" She cackled with glee when she was lifted in the air, continuing to hold her hand up high. But as soon as she was rested back into Winter's arms again she looked up at her for a moment. Biting her lip for a small moment, she held a hand out toward her, only to poke her nose with her forefinger. "Nosey."

"That is my nosey, very good!" Smiling in her parents' direction, she added, "She's right on schedule developmentally. I'm so proud of my niece."

"We're glad you approve," Weiss said, with a dash of sarcasm. Then she motioned into the house. "Would you care to join us?"

But of course, Winter instead looked back to Fènleng, the big smile transforming her typically-aloof features. "Can I come in and play with you for a little while?"

The little one clapped her hands in approval, flailing her little legs in Winter's grip. "Yes yes yes yes!"

"C'mon then, ‘Trouble’, you can show Aunt Winter your toys and stuff."

Yang stood to one side as she held the door open, leaving plenty of room for her sister in law and her daughter. Once in the entranceway, Winter made a turn for the kitchen. She had grown too used to their coffee machine's presence, and now expected to be provided with refreshment the moment she arrived. Of course, she also expected to make it herself; she was no pampered houseguest.

"So how are FNKI's prospects shaping up?” Weiss asked. “Are they on track for that world tour, or is Budokan still a holdout?"

"Well," Winter said as she began making her cup, "Budokan is essentially willing to have them open for Neptune, and that's as far as we can get. Which is acceptable, given he's a more established act and this is an international event."

"Tell 'em to check the fireworks." It'd been years, but it was a joke Yang made about every larger event. Perhaps it was in poor taste, but it was a fairly tame coping mechanism. However, all it earned her was a glare from Weiss. "What? I'm just saying, they need checking anyways."

"I suppose so," Weiss sighed, still glaring. "But you could say as much with a little more tact."

Turning with her espresso, Winter said evenly, "Actually, I agree that heightened security is a must after that fiasco. Perhaps you should go with them?"

"Hey, I like the girl and I like the group, but Japan’s too far out of the way for one event,” Yang put in. “Besides, isn't the point that they don't end their show with a Yang?"

Whilst it earned a rather annoyed groan from the two Schnee sisters, it earned a clap and a giggle from the littlest Schnee, who grinned up happily at her mother. "Mama's funny!"

"All those times she acts spoiled and you demand to know if she's really yours?" Weiss gestured to the small girl. "This is the moment. This is the moment there's undeniable proof she's a Xiao Long."

"Can't argue with that." Yang answered with a resigned grin as she bent down to pick up the small girl for herself, ruffling her hair once she was securely in her grip. "And she makes Mama so proud."

"Mama, stop it!" she called back, although was still giggling even when she tried to push Yang's hand away and out of her hair. "You mess my hair!"

"Don't ruin my daughter's hair!" Weiss gasped exaggeratedly. "A Schnee's hair is her pride and joy — and you know how you are about yours."

"You have to admit though, she got the better hair. It's gonna be silky like yours, but as thick as mine when she's older." Resigning to her daughter's attempts to stop her, she stroked it back again, giving the giggling little girl one final kiss on the cheek before she set her back down. While she immediately ran back into the living room toward her toys, Yang sighed. "Gonna miss her while we're on tour."

Nodding, Weiss watched as Fèn set to the "work" of the young; playing. "Yes… but Ruby has Skype. We'll still see her all the time. And we have that stopover when we make it back to Nashville, so it won't quite be a full two months without her."

"This is true," Winter put in between sips of her drink. "And I would be willing to fly her to any of the cities should your separation anxiety grow too overwhelming."

"Oh don't worry about that! I'm just saying, that's all…" However, as Yang watched from the kitchen while their daughter tried to gain the affections of their cat, she smiled glumly for a moment. It would be the first time without her for an extended period since she was born, and at such a young age. Although they both knew it would come at some point, somehow it snuck up on her. She shook her head to trick herself out of her mood, instead grabbing her own used mug to quickly rinse it out, looking back toward the other two. "It'll be a good show. And, I kinda admit; I do miss that bus. It feels like a second home, after everything."

"Right?" Weiss said with a smile, eyes still on Fènleng. "It was kind of our first home together, if you think about it. Even though we were only sorta kinda dating."

Winter's mouth pulled into a smirk. "Really? That's not how you two told the tale. I believe handcuffs came into play at some point?"

That made Yang's nostalgic expression turn into a blushing one, for what must have been the millionth time today. Although she was grateful she could talk about she and Weiss's earliest memories together with Winter without worrying at all, it still never spared the embarrassment.

"Oh… well… come on, that’s not exactly ‘Fifty Shades’, is it?"

"I should hope not," she replied mildly. "Considering what a gross misrepresentation that is of BDSM culture. Still, not entirely vanilla."

"Yeah…" Her younger sister squinted over at that notion, arms folding over her chest. "Speaking of which, are we ever going to talk about those studded leather straps I saw in your dresser drawer? You know, when I was looking for some emergency underwear that day I had an unexpectedly heavy flow? Not that I'm trying to pry, but…"

Now it was Winter's turn to flush slightly, though otherwise her expression remained unchanged. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ohhhhhh, you didn't tell me about this," Yang joined in, taking a sip of her own drink as she smirked toward Winter. As far as they both knew, Winter was single. Always had been, and preferred it that way – especially after the way she used to handle business. She was very career orientated, and that seemed to span into her free time as well. News like this was a rather pleasant surprise. "So, does his mean you got yourself a sub in your back pocket or something?"

"What? Oh, d-don't be silly!" Winter was still doing a decent job of feigning disinterest in the topic, but now her hands were shaking just the tiniest bit. "Your strange fascination with everyone's love lives isn't going to get you anywhere in this discussion. Not when there isn't anything to talk about — and a ‘sub’ in my back pocket! Honestly…" Though she clearly was protesting too much.

Suddenly, Weiss's gaze took on a much more serious cast. "Winter… you know I don't want to ask this, and I'm not doing it because I don't trust you. But if you're in a… situation like you were years ago, I would hope you'd let us know."

"Yeah,” Yang insisted. “Seriously, we don't mind if we're not that big of an act anymore, we're not using you to sign any deals. Enough said."

A grateful smile passed across Winter's face. The haunted look that once would have accompanied it was minimal; she had made peace with her past "negotiation tactics" by now. "Don't worry. No more of those dirty dealings, I can assure you. But I appreciate your concern." Her hand came to rest on Weiss's shoulder very lightly, thumb rubbing in a tiny circle. "Really, I do. It… means the world."

Nodding to herself, the blonde sipped more of her own drink with a contented smile as she watched her wife lean into the comforting gesture. Curiosity was still a big factor, but they couldn't exactly play a game of spin the bottle to get Winter to spill like they used to be able to. Not with little ears and little eyes present, even if they were currently occupied. Deciding to drop the subject, she went on to something unrelated.

At least, she assumed it was.

"So Dad’s been saying you sometimes join him and Qrow for their bowling nights… you seem to hang out with my uncle a lot. Kinda crazy."

This, far more than the mention of bondage or her checkered past, caused Winter to gag on her espresso. Waving a hand at her mouth, she turned and quickly dashed to the sink before she had a coughing fit, managing not to soil anyone's clothing or make a mess on the countertops.

"WINTER!" Weiss burst out, rushing over to lay a hand on her back. Yang noticed her running quite funny indeed, but luckily, it was while her sister's back was turned. "Are you alright?!"

"F-fine!" she sputtered, voice slightly strained. "Just… went down the wrong pipe, that's all!"

Though holding in her laughter from how Weiss was reduced to running, she was still concerned about Winter. Especially when such a response came from such an innocent question. "What? What’d I say?! I was only saying it’s weird you ended up hanging out with Dad and Qrow!"

"Yes, it… I happen to like… bowling!" After another cough, she brought up the mug and took a sip, using it to soothe her throat. "Ahhh… at any rate, it's none of your concern what I do and don't like doing."

Still rubbing Winter's back, Weiss leaned over just enough to catch her eye. "But why would you be bowling with Qrow? I didn't expect you and he to have much to talk about."

"Oh, he and Taiyang aren't bad sorts. They have a fourth, a woman they just call 'The White Witch'… she and I sometimes butt heads like two rams. Kind of a know-it-all. But still, we have a good time playing the game together. What else needs to be said?"

"You're oddly defensive over this subject." Particularly when Qrow was mentioned, Yang wanted to add. But she held her tongue for now, taking a sip again of her own cup just to see how Winter would react. But something in her mind was telling her that she already knew what was going on, and how the leather straps fell into it.

Then Weiss piped up, after a few seconds of contemplation, "That night I called you and a man's voice answered. I thought he sounded familiar, but you passed it off as an 'old friend' who came back to town and you forgot to take your phone with you to the bathroom."

"That was none of your business, but I am sorry he answered the phone for me. Should have just let it go to voicemail."

"I just thought it was a little strange how we tried to introduce you two at the wedding party but you seemed to already know each other,” Yang then pointed out, but either way, she'd pretty much gained the picture already. “Aaaand you both appeared at breakfast at the same time…"

Now, the elder sister was slowly turning as red as Weiss had been when going to sit down — though very legitimately, that could have been from choking on her coffee. "That… had nothing to do with-"

Weiss interrupted her with a theatrical gasp. "What he said! His words were 'Afraid Winter is all tied up right now and can't talk'! He meant it, didn't he? Like, you were literally tied up, weren’t you?!"

"Ho-ho-holy fuck, babe! You never told me any of this!" Yang had quickly checked to make sure Fènleng wasn't listening; which she wasn't, even if she wouldn’t have understood anything. Satisfied, she smirked at the permanent blush now present on Winter's face. "Seems you got busted."

"Congratulations, Nancy Drew!" she burst out in irritation, and Yang's grin only grew wider as she blushed to her roots. "And to you, Weiss. Thanks f-for digging up this information, I really wanted it known to the public!"

"Hey, I'm not telling 'the public', it’s just us girls!" Gesturing at Yang, Weiss added, "And as you may have figured out, I never told her about it behind your back, I just… now that the subject has come up, I did have to ask!"

"Well, you asked! And now…" Pushing a hand in front of her face, she growled, "Now you know a few of my predilections I'd rather you didn't. Oh, why couldn't you have just asked me for the underwear? Why couldn’t he have left my phone alone?!"

"Hey, we ain't judging at all, you know that, right?" Yang asked, putting the finished mug down and leaning against the table top instead, still looking toward Winter. But then briefly over to Weiss. She knew that the sisters had spoken on occasion about these particular things, and particularly of Yang. Bearing that in mind, she somewhat breathed out a quiet laugh under her breath. "I mean, it’s not like she and me never get kinky, y’know? Don’t be such a prude."

"You have no idea," she breathed. Then, in a rush, she told them far more than she had intended. "I like it when they spit on me. Call me a 'cheap cumslut'. Tie me up, bend me over, and…" Glancing at her sister, she left that sentence hanging. "When Qrow said I couldn't talk? I was gagged. Literally could not say a word unless he let me break character so he could take the ball out of my mouth, and he would only have done it if I… if I made three chicken noises deep in my throat." Now her face was shining red so badly that she could only mask it by pressing her hands against it. "And to think I made fun of you two for… f-for handcuffs! My disgusting double-standard, and I felt comfortable because you didn’t know it was one."

Sensing that her sister was about to have some kind of breakdown again, hating the idea of her sinking this low, Weiss followed suit and revealed far too much: it seemed like the shortest route to keep her from sinking into that low. "At least you don't have the largest butt plug available up your ass while we're having this conversation!"

Although about to make a comment on Winter's activities, Yang instead froze up completely, keeping her mouth firmly shut as she looked back to Winter again. No doubt all eyes would be on her for that one, even if she had volunteered to pull it free before any of the guests arrived. She leaned back and nervously laughed.

"Does… anyone like the coffee? I think the coffee's really good. Really really nice cup of joe."

"You're… but I don’t have…" Winter did glance between both of them, suddenly completely distracted by this revelation. Her eyebrows drew inward, and she began to say something else once or twice. Still, she looked at Weiss and Yang equally, almost as if trying to figure out which one her sister had meant.

"It's me," Weiss finally told her — which of course meant Winter wasn't looking at her anymore. At all. "Oh, come on, after all that you just told us, this is too far?"

"Yes, but I'm not tied up and being spanked while talking to you, am I?!" Winter hissed quietly. Then she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. "No, that's not fair. I'm… not sure you should have told me this, but you haven't done anything wrong. My judgment would be hypocritical. Again."

Despite her own blush growing, a small smile pulled at Weiss's mouth. They had come so far in their relationship; even though Winter's instincts were very much the same, still snappish and short, she caught herself most of the time. And even though they might not ever quite be the normal sisters that Yang and Ruby were, it had become a good sort of friendship-slash-sisterhood. That was all she could really ask for.

"Mmm, delicious coffee. I'm gonna get us another mug, okay?" Even if pleased that Winter wouldn't be about to have harsh words with her, and that they were on good enough terms to talk about these kinds of things, that didn't stop the vague embarrassment she felt about it all. No doubt Winter was probably thinking the plug was her idea, and that they intended for her to have it in while talking to their guests. Even if it wasn't the case.

As Yang turned her back on the awkward conversation, Winter cleared her throat. "So… what brand do you use?"

"What?! Oh, w-well…" She had been about to snap that it's none of her business, but in all reality, she was asking about brand preference, not what type or shape. That wasn't so bad. “Asscination.”

“Hmm, not a bad brand. Do you buy locally? I know there are… a few good stores in Nashville.”

Clearing her throat, she responded, "It was online. I mean, obviously I can't go into a store, I'll be recognized in five seconds…"

"Very true. And I do the same, to be honest; usually just read the reviews and get what seems the best value." Her smile was cautiously pleased. "I… recommend the Trinity; the beads increase in size very gradually, and… none of them are too… large. What's wrong?"

Weiss shrugged, sweat running down her temple as she said, "N-nothing. I just wasn't expecting to have this conversation. With anybody, let alone my sister. So… beads, huh?"

"Oh." Winter made a vague gesture with the hand not holding her coffee, even though her face hadn't returned to normal, either. "What's the difference, really? Knowing we're both interested… in this, um, general topic… I mean, that we won't condemn the other person. It's sort of a relief, in a way."

"Love Honey's a good store." Even with her back turned, Yang was able to at least leave that comment, only to whistle innocently when they looked at her. And once they turned to talk to one another again, the comments while she kept her gaze away continued. "Aaaaand we thought about getting a Bad Dragon toy…"

"No, YOU thought about getting a Bad Dragon toy," Weiss told her back with a slight smirk. "I said I didn't want anything animal-shaped with weird ridges going into my-" But then she looked back at her sister, deciding not to finish that thought.

"Oh, don't mind me," Winter chuckled, even if her voice was a little higher than usual. "Bad Dragon, hm? I'll have to look into that." Then she added in a more careful tone, "Do… you do this often? In front of guests, I mean."

"This is the first time. NO, WAIT, I- what I mean is, we didn't plan to do this at all! Oh wow, I sound like a freak…"

Winter's hand laid on Weiss's shoulder, but then she quickly decided that it was a little strange to be doing during this conversation and drew it away as quickly. "You don't. I've… well, there have been similar situations for me. Chastity belts, plugs… sometimes just going without underwear. It's odd how the idea is to feel owned, controlled and put in your place, but the effect is quite the opposite." Lowering her voice, just in case the little one might suddenly wander closer to them, she confessed, "Standing in front of three stuffy old representatives of a music venue in a red state, while you have vibrating panties working on you… I had never felt more empowered, because they didn't know. It wasn't any of their business, and never would be."

Quickly sparing a look to Fènleng, Yang could see she was still perfectly content, playing with her stuffed toy and singing to herself. The entirety of the Frozen soundtrack was more than enough to keep the little one distracted while her mothers chatted about such topics to one another, and drank coffee together.

Turning back to them, she held up her next mug of coffee, handing one toward Weiss. Then she seemed to realise: "Wait… and this is all with Qrow? As in my forty- nearly fifty-year-old uncle?"

"Well… that is…" Sighing, she shook her head out before taking a drink to steel her nerves. "I'm standing next to my sister while she's holding something in her rectum that doesn't normally belong there, so I don't know why I should feel bad for what I may or may not be doing with your uncle."

"Did you have to say 'rectum'?" Weiss sighed as she drooped slightly, unable to resist flexing her cheeks when that was mentioned.

"Yeah but… He's old and drunk." Yang shrugged her shoulders. In truth it was a little more then that. He was a close relative while she was growing up, plus finding out he was into things a lot more extreme than vanilla was somewhat of a surprise. But overall, the main concern was that latter part. "Like… I get you want that kind of treatment, but he's hardly the aftercare-giving type. I think the most romantic thing he ever did for someone was pick a flower out of someone else's garden once?"

"You would… be surprised." Her smile was slightly wistful. "He isn't the first one on my dance card — you know, since we had our talk on the private jet. About me not using my body as a bargaining chip. There have been a fair few doms and subs since I came to understand what I liked, and how to explore it… safely."

Weiss made a scoffing noise. "And Qrow is good about that? The lush?!"

"Qrow is good at both sides of the equation. Even when drunk; he knows how important it is to make sure I don't continue to feel like an object once play is ended." Then she rolled her eyes slightly. "Not saying he's… eloquent, exactly. But he can use a few short words to completely undo all the 'shaming' he does during play, and I'm back to myself again. My favourite is… oh, but you probably won't want to hear that."

"No no, go on. We're curious now." She somewhat had to forget that it was her uncle they were talking about, considering that was someone she'd rather not imagine in these situations. But so long as she could replace the mental image of him with some kind of faceless individual, she was capable of doing that.

However, that would be made harder when Winter chuckled, then dropped her voice into an approximation of his grizzled tones. "'Dunno why a perfect ten like you wants a six like me tying her up, but hey, not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.'"

Weiss waited for a few seconds before asking, "Is… that it? It’s kind of gross."

"That's it. Just letting me know he thinks of me as perfect… it's more than anyone else has ever done."

That, Yang really couldn't imagine as anyone other then her uncle. Even if she knew it would have been in their own moment of afterglow, she smiled to herself as she raised her mug once again. "Yeah, sounds like Qrow alright. He might be a whiskey-soaked geezer, but when you scratch the harsh surface he's a pretty great guy. Always finds the best in people, even if they don't see it."

"Oh, he drives me into subspace better than anyone… and brings me back when I can't bring myself back. How he can switch from taskmaster to the gentlest…" Then she glanced at the two wide-eyed relations and cleared her throat. "Sorry. Anyway, yes, I'm satisfied with his services. Please don't worry."

In the end, Yang shrugged her shoulders, gently blowing across her hot coffee. "Well, as much as I don't get why you'd wanna be treated like shit during that, least it puts us at ease knowing it's Qrow. He's a good guy, and family. You two can take care of each other."

Winter smiled tightly. "Ah. Well, I don't really think we'll ever… that is, we enjoy being friends outside of play, but I don't see us entering into a relationship. Just… can't let someone become that intertwined with my life."

"Never say 'never', sis," Weiss told her confidently, reaching over to hug her from the side. "Maybe he'll surprise you. I mean, I trust him, even if I'm still weirded out with that choice. How did you even start doing… what you're doing?"

"That's a funnier story," Winter said, warming to it immediately in comparison to their heavier topics. "Just a few slip-ups I made during bowling nights. He just said something about us getting 'spanked' by the other team, and I said 'You say that like it's a bad thing.' Of course, we were both joking, but a few too many jokes like that… you begin to wonder about a person."

"So you figured, 'oh, I'll see if he wants to spank me after bowling' or something?" Yang asked. But things were starting to click into place now that they knew. In fact… "Hey… I remember awhile back, while Weiss was still pregnant, we saw Qrow in the main Schnee building, and he said that he was just dropping in to say ‘hi’… he wasn't really looking for me, was he?"

That brought about an apologetic smile. "No, he wasn't. Though he was glad to see you, as well; thinks the world of you and Ruby. I know you wouldn't know it to look at or listen to him." Then she grimaced. "Sorry about… messing up your bed, by the way."

"That WAS you!" Weiss burst out, aghast. "And you blamed it on Xu-Xu, saying she 'could have' run in there and jumped on it!"

"Did you really want me saying 'sorry, that was myself and Qrow getting in a quickie’? Either of you, honestly?" When Weiss had no reply, she simply raised her eyebrow and sipped at her coffee.

"I guess I can't say anything, we've done it in some pretty crazy places ourselves when we've been desperate for it." Shrugging her shoulders, Yang stood on her wife’s other side instead, smiling to herself. "Plus I don't think it was getting much use; Weiss was so big she barely wanted to leave the house, anyway."

"Didn't stop me from plowing you through the first half of my third trimester," Weiss muttered, causing Winter to literally snort with unexpected laughter. "And don't you laugh — I probably had to sleep on those sex-sheets! Ugh, from my own sister!"

"We weren't unduly 'messy', Weiss. I didn't even take off my clothes, really."

"That doesn't help!"

"Clothed sex is the best sex," Yang quietly muttered, giving a small wink in Winter's direction for a short moment. However their private conversation was called short by the smaller voice in the front room.

"Mommy? Where did you all go?"

"Oh, we're wanted." Yang grinned, stepping away from the counter.

Before leaving the kitchen, Weiss frowned up at Winter, jabbing a finger into her chest. "Don't think I'm going to let this go. You aren't allowed to use our bedroom to… to have a 'quickie' in without even letting us know it happened! At least so we can change the sheets!"

"Fine, fine. I apologise. Now then…" She had picked up a large wooden spoon from inside the large stone jar that housed such implements, turning it over thoughtfully. Weiss turned away with a sigh of disgust, but this turned out to have been a bad move — for Winter took that opportunity to poke the smaller, angrier Schnee square in the middle of her behind.

"A-AAAHHhhhhnhhh!" she groaned, freezing entirely as she paused to hold onto the counter for dear life, weathering the oddly pleasant sensation of the enormous toy shifting inside of her, pulling at her skin. She panted a few times as her face lit up, trying to wrestle her reaction back under her control. "Oh God, d-don't do that! WHY would you do that?!"

Laughing as quietly as she could manage, she returned the spoon to its home and patted her sister on the shoulder. "Well, partly just to satisfy my curiosity whether or not you were telling the truth; you hide it fairly well. I’m kind of impressed, I wouldn’t have known until you told me."

"Yeah?" she asked weakly. "And… what's the other part?"

"To remind you that I'm not the only one who has been guilty of being indiscreet around family." But when Weiss glared at her, she nodded very slightly. "Okay, I am sorry; maybe it was a bit far. But you should have seen your face!"

“C-come on, though, you...” Weiss lowered her voice to a whisper. “Don’t you care that you just turned on your own sister?”

Winter’s pale blue eyes rolled, even as her cheeks reddened a bit more. “Don’t exaggerate. It’s the plug that you left in there that turned you on. I just gave it a little bump. Don’t you try to turn this around and make me the deviant when you’re the one wearing it in front of all kinds of family today.”

“I told you, that was unintentional! I couldn’t get it out by myse-”

"Are you two done in there?" Yang called loudly as she sat down on the single sofa chair, leaving the main sofa free for the Schnee sisters. That was if Weiss even wanted to sit at all after all this. Either way, she didn't mind. Only looked to what her daughter had gotten herself up to. And then began to laugh as she looked at just what that was. "Oh, have you made her pretty, baby?"

"She's a princess!" Fènleng attempted as best she could to pull the placid cat towards her, one who was wearing the two flower hair clips that she had in her hair earlier, now in her long fur. Then there was a small, messy bow on her tail, along with some small amount of glitter. Seemed a run around with the vacuum cleaner and a bath for Xu-Xu was required.

"Oh, goodness!" Winter laughed as the two rejoined the main area, bending at the waist slightly to better address her niece. "What has become of little Xu-Xu? Have you made her a princess?"

"She's Princess Xu-Xu now! And I'm the queen!" She managed to lift Xu-xu's front paws up slightly, just enough so she was 'stood up'. But it didn't take much longer until the cat powered out of her grip, briefly meowing as she walked quickly toward Yang's chair, crawling underneath it. Which Fènleng sadly groaned. "Aww, she's grumpy."

"Honey, what have we told you about making the cat do human things?" Weiss said in a very patient voice; much more patient than she had been with Winter, to be fair.

"But Mom, she was pretty!" She looked up toward her, giving her best impression of puppy eyes that she possibly could, even mastering the frown and quivering of her lip.

And although Weiss couldn't resist it usually, Yang pressed on as well. "No, listen to Mom. You remember what Xu' did last time when you didn't listen?"

Looking down sadly instead, she held her hands behind her back, twisting one of her feet back and forth when she looked guiltily. It was the one and only time she was scratched by their pet, but considering it was a day when Fèn wouldn't listen when they repeatedly told her, they all considered it a teaching moment.

"Yes, Mama."

"And we don't want that to happen again," Weiss said, coming over to bend down and ruffle her hair. "Because why?" The little smile that pricked up on Fèn's face told that she already knew what her mother was going to say before she said it. "Because we love you!"

Jumping on the spot, she was grinning from ear to ear, chuckling to herself through her teeth. But when spotting Winter again, still kneeling down to her, she looked up toward her hair for a moment. And then tilted her head. "Can I make Aunt Winter pretty?"

A bemused smile pulled at Winter's face, and she sat on the couch. But then, at the last second, she did the same thing Ruby had done: reached over to pull Weiss down with her.

"Hnnhghhh…" The younger sister glared at her, even as her cheeks pinkened very slightly from the renewed sensation. "Ohhh, you're going to hear it about this when we're not in front of a tiny audience…"

"Of course, Fennyfen!" Winter told the child, ignoring Weiss's death stare. "Make your Aunt a princess, too!"

"Yay!" Little Fènleng grinned with glee, picking up a few of the hair clips that were on the floor that she hadn't quite managed to get on the cat. A couple of which had the Schnee emblem on them, and one that had a fiery heart. Specially made ones for her second birthday last year. But seemed she decided they looked better on people other than herself.

All the while though, Yang couldn't help but smirk in Weiss's direction, whispering just out of Fèn and Winter's hearing, "How you holdin’ up?"

Cupping a hand to her mouth to block it from Winter and Fènleng's vision, she mouthed the words slowly enough so they could be made out: "So angry, and so wet." Then she lowered the hand as she continued to squirm, seeming as casual as ever other than the slight pinkness.

"Ohh, that's wonderful!" Winter was giggling at the clip now swinging in her field of vision, hands making sure to hold the small person still as she knelt in her aunt's lap, trying to decide where the next clip would go. Seemed Fèn was really concentrating, tongue sticking out of her mouth while she tried as best she could to put the other clip into place. Even if it was only hanging barely off a couple of hairs, she seemed more then happy with it, clapping her hands when she was finished with the second clip.

"Pretty," she muttered to herself, before deciding to try and find a place for the final one.

Thankfully it formed more than enough of a distraction for Yang to cup her mouth, whispering to Weiss, "We'll put Fèn to bed, then I'll help you out. If you can stay quiet, we can have a quickie before we sleep."

"Maybe I should borrow that gag of hers," Weiss muttered behind her hand. And she was half-serious; if she thought there was a chance Winter would have it on-hand, it might be worth it purely to muffle her usual cries of pleasure.

"Or maybe we can get our own." It had been something she considered for a while, even though Weiss often refused. Although they were often too busy, or too tired, a major reason they didn't sleep together as much was Weiss's volume. There was the constant worry of waking Fènleng up; even if Yang covered her wife's mouth with her hand, she was still rather loud. Maybe it was time to consider it again. And it would be less expensive than soundproofing.

"Finished!" The small voice called to both of her mothers as little Fènleng sat patiently on her Aunt's knees, having put two clips on her fringe, and one to the other side to the best of her ability. It was messy, but still, she was learning. And from the looks of things, enjoying herself.

Which Yang grinned at happily. "Woooow, she looks b-e-a-uuuuutiful, Fèn!"

"Thank you!" Winter told her with a big smile, completely enchanted by the girl and her self-satisfied grin. "Fennyfen did such a good job!"

"You did!" Weiss agreed, leaning closer and petting her sister's hair very superficially. "And look how pretty! Why, I bet Winter will want to wear that all the way home to see Uncle Qrow!"

"Nice try," Winter told her with a quiet chuckle. "But I do love them, thank you, Fenny."

Fènleng hadn't quite gotten the hang of saying "you're welcome" just yet. She only smiled shyly and looked down to one side instead, swaying her body side to side as normal. Something they'd all gotten used to while she was still developing.

Though their present subjects aside, Yang did perk up a bit more to ask, "Don't suppose you wanna take her this weekend, do you? If you're busy with Qrow that's totally fine, we can ask your dad, but, if you wanted to while we just straighten some things out here…"

"Straighten out some things," Winter repeated with a slightly dubious look. But she didn't press the issue. "I would love to. I just thought you wouldn't want to be handing her off so close to the tour starting."

"Well… maybe just for an afternoon," Weiss compromised. At Winter's intense stare, she finally broke down and just said, "Today was so rushed, look at the state I ended up having to suffer through!"

Winter leaned over closer, bouncing up Fen to distract her as she said in a lower voice, "You're loving it and you know it.” Pretending to ignore Weiss’s obvious shiver, she went on, “Still… I can completely sympathise. I'll be by Saturday at noon and take her until after six, if that's alright? I have an… appointment at eight."

"Tell my uncle I said ‘hi’," Yang insisted. Although it seemed a more than fair compromise. A little private time for the two together as a couple before going on the tour with Neon and Inu; more than enough for them to unwind after so long. And it would give Winter plenty of time to bond with her niece. "Done. Is that okay with you, Fènleng? You can play with Aunt Winter this weekend?"

"Can we see Grandpa Schnee?" Usually the two came hand in hand when Winter took her, or even when their father took her, as well. It seemed a common occurrence that at some point Winter ended up discussing some business, but it seemed the distraction of her niece/his granddaughter was more than accepted.

"Of course, my little snowflake! We'll let him give you piggyback rides, and you can have a candy from his special Fennyfen jar!" Indeed, the man had taken to keeping sweets in his office purely for her sake… though a few did tend to go missing even when he didn't have little visitors.

"Thank you so much," Weiss sighed earnestly. "We just need some time apart from… little ears."

Nodding to herself, Winter picked up her niece and set her down, patting her in the middle of her back to send her toddling off toward her toys. Then she leaned over closer to her sister and muttered as quietly as she could manage, "I could turn her cartoons up a bit louder, keep an eye on her for a few if you wanted to run upstairs and take care of… unfinished business."

Weiss didn't know what to say to that. Her eyes flicked over to Yang as she contemplated. On the one hand, it would be pretty strange to do such a thing with her sister having full knowledge… but they would be on entirely different floors. Given how ready she was for some further satisfaction, she was inclined to worry about moral implications later.

And when she looked back to Yang for advice, she seemed just as perplexed as she was. Sure, it would help her wife not have to worry any longer about the object if they did remove it now, but wouldn't mean that'd have all too long to relish and treat one another after. Then again, with Weiss's volume, it could be an issue anyway. She left it to the one in question, whispering, "Depends how desperate the wife is to get it out or not."

Embarrassed to be saying this in front of Winter, she undersold the situation. "Sooner is better."

"If you want my suggestion?” Winter offered. “Take her from behind, manipulate the plug as you go, and then take it out right when she's climaxing. She'll have the biggest orgasm of her life, and you won't have to worry about it still being in when you're finished."

Weiss was staring at her sister with an open mouth and heightened eyebrows. "You cannot be suggesting things like that to us! It's just… just wrong!"

"Do you want the best possible experience for your trouble or don't you?" When Weiss had no answer for that, the elder woman just gave Yang a level look and said, "Trust me. And I can tell the idea is thrilling to you."

Yang had simply run that notion through her head. It sounded like a good plan to get the most pleasure they could in order to make up for Weiss's discomfort after so long. Though it seemed as though Weiss wasn't all too convinced. As she got up from her chair to make a move, she managed to whisper, "If the stuff you've done to me while I had it in is anything to go by, you're gonna have a lot of fun."

And then she looked back to Fènleng again, who had managed to pull another soft toy out, and was playing with them both together. "Fènny? Auntie Winter's gonna stay down here with you while Mom and Mommy go… have a shower, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy!" Blissfully unaware, and eyes full of innocence, she went back to playing again, singing to herself once more.

"I'll buy you diamond earrings to make up for this," Weiss promised as she stood gingerly, only shivering once.

"Not necessary. We sisters have to look out for each other, right?" Almost in direct contrast to those words, Winter reared back her hand and gave Weiss a hard swat on her backside, eliciting something between a moan and a yelp. When she glared down at her, the older sister shrugged. "For good luck?"

"You're… terrible." As Winter chuckled, she took her wife's hand and led her toward the stairs, taking one last look at the precious bundle they had created together, who was jumping with excitement when the TV came on and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was playing. A wistful smile pulled at her lips. They would have a great time on tour, but she was going to miss her daughter powerfully.

And as they headed up the stairs, Yang even now couldn't believe her luck. Not just from today, but for her many years of bliss she seemed to have. And those that were yet to come. When it came to years down the line, and they would tell their daughter how they met, it would seem completely unbelievable.

"Hey…" That gave her a thought, as she kissed her wife on the cheek one more time. "I think I did pretty good for a lesbian who just got the job to sneak a few photos of you, huh?"

"You wh- ohhh, stop that," Weiss hissed at her, walking much more cautiously than usual. "Is that going to turn into some kind of 'dad joke' you literally tell every day? Because if so, I think I want a divorce."

"Nah, that still goes to the kimono," Yang joked, quickly dashing ahead a little more toward the bedroom with a beaming smile. "Come on, then; I didn't punch a guy in the face for you the day we met for nothing."

Talking of her previous racial misunderstanding, she did something she knew Yang both loved and rolled her eyes at; began singing a very specific song. "I'm a mess without my little China girl… wake up mornings, where's my little China girl?"

Yang groaned a final time as she held the bedroom door for her wife. "And people get annoyed at me for the puns."

The pop princess wasn’t inclined to argue.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

THE END

[For now]

[echoflowertea]

Hi! I have an idea for a prompt! I know I'm a day late, so no rush whatsoever and feel free to take it or not :) It's for a Sans/Readr/Paps. Your sister and her husband have to be away for the weekend or smth and ask you to take care of their baby/toddler (whatever you think fits best for the story). So they take the child to your house where you live with the bros, but then you have to go out for a bit to take baby things, and they are left alone with the kid. They freak out, funny times ensue

here ya go, it’s my birthday so i figured i would give you the gift of a terribly overdue update!!!!

Pairing: Sans/Reader, Papyrus/Reader

Summary: A weekend with your nephew didn’t sound so bad to the skelebros. Maybe they should’ve read more parenting books.

“So you guys really don’t mind?”

“OF COURSE NOT. WE ARE EXCELLENT COMPANY.YOUR PRECIOUS NEPHEW WILL FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE CARED FORPERFECTLY! WE HAVE PREPARED THE ULTIMATE DAY OF ULTIMATE FUN FOR SUCH ANOCCASION.”

You shot him a halfhearted smile. Papyrus’confidence almost always made you feel better, but you were a little nervousabout this. It wasn’t as if you didn’t trust the brothers, but they could be alittle…eccentric. As far as you knew, neither of them were well-versed incaring for a child, let alone a human one. Both were still vastly impressed anddisgusted with your bodily functions, which you could control, so having anunpredictable toddler around the house for the day seemed like…

“heh, don’t stress yourself so much. we gotthis.”

You observed them. Papyrus had on his childsafety gear prepped, which included taping a lot of pillows to his body so noneof his joints would end up hurting anyone. Because the brothers were…literallyskeletons, they had some parts that jutted out and could poke or stab if youweren’t careful enough. Papyrus would dress himself up in attire that spokevolumes about how gently he was going to treat this kid.

“Awesome. Thanks, guys. I know that this iskind of last minute.”

Your nephew was supposed to come by nextweek, but his mom and dad had some major things come up. Some business tripsgot moved around, some flights cancelled, and you were their last hope. Youdidn’t mind so much, but you were going to run it by your boyfriends first. Thiswas a relationship founded on open and honest communication, after all.

“SO WHEN SHOULD WE EXPECT HIM TO ARRIVE?”

You glanced at the clock. “In a few hours.When they get here, I’ll introduce you.”

Sans grinned and shoved his hands in hispockets, the pinpricks of light in his sockets flaring to life. “we’re gonnahave lots of fun.”

“You’d better not corrupt my nephew, Sans.If he learns a pun from you, I’m breaking up with you.”

“heh heh heh.”

In the short time before your nephew wasdropped off, you and Papyrus perused through the house to make sure everythingdangerous was put away. Anything knee-high was blocked off or sealed up.Papyrus was the one who crawled around on his hands and knees to make sure youdidn’t miss anything, while Sans’ idea of helping was to give half-assed wordsof encouragement from the living room couch.

The doorbell rang and you did your best tobrush the dust bunnies out of your hair before you answered. Sans beat you toit, having shuffled over clad in his signature slippers and that harmless smileon his face.

Your sister looked down at him and inhaledsharply, a little baffled at his presence. She had only ever seen him get upfrom the couch to his seat at the dining table when they stopped by for dinner,so it must’ve been a shock to see him up and about.

“Hi, Sans.”

“heya. c'mon in.”

Your sister paused and glanced over hershoulder. From this angle, you could see a pair of small, chubby hands wrappedaround her leg.

“Sweetie, it’s okay.” She bent down toscoop him up and he clung to her upper half, squeezing tight and burying hisface in the crook of her neck. “Sorry, guys. He just woke up from a nap so he’skind of grumpy.”

“He’s also never seen the new house before.Or met the skelebros,” you ventured. “Sans, Papyrus, this is Moo.”

“MOO?”

The toddler glanced up with shining eyes atthe sound of his name. On top of his head was a spotted, black-and-white capcomplete with floppy ears and tiny horns.

“He likes cows.”

“oh my god.” Sans succeeded in holding inhis laughter.

His mom and dad came in for just a fewminutes. They’d done their best to tell Moo that he would be staying with you,and considering you were his favorite aunt, he was totally cool with that. Butthe two strangers were still a little bit of an unknown for him, so he stuck tohis mom’s side the entire time.

“He should be okay until dinner. I’ve got abunch of spare clothes for him just in case he has an accident, but he shouldtell you when he needs to go.”

“You’re potty-trained, Moo? You’re such abig boy!”

He nodded and took a step away from hismom. The both of you continued to chat while Moo decided to explore the rest ofthe house on his own. His bare feet resting along the hardwood floors, hesquatted down to inspect a pair of shiny sneakers that belonged to none otherthan Papyrus himself.

“HELLO! I SEE YOU’VE SPOTTED MY SHOES!WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY THEM ON?”

Moo plopped down in response. Papyrus washappy to join him on the floor. Instead of tearing his shoes off, he insteadpulled apart the laces and loosened them up enough for the canvas material tostretch out.

Papyrus tore them off one by one andgrinned. “THERE WE GO, AND HERE YOU ARE. GIVE THEM A TRY.”

Moo looked down at his feet and raised aleg up.

“think he wants you to put ‘em on, bro.”

“OH!!! OF COURSE. HOW SILLY OF ME. HERE YOUARE, KING MOO. THE MOST DELICATE OF SLIPPERS TO ADORN YOUR FEET.”

You had to admit, it was adorable as hell.He and Papyrus seemed to be okay with each other. And although Sans didn’t wantto admit it, he was keeping an eyesocket on both of them to make sure thatnothing happened. If anything, it was more of a precaution for what-ifs ratherthan just him being overprotective. Because, like you said, kids were wildsometimes and could snap at any moment.

Proud of his new shoes, Moo did his best topush himself up and balance despite his feet being wayyy too small inside.Papyrus kept a gentle hand on his back while he flopped on over to his parentsto show them what he’d done.

“Oh, Moo! They look great on you!”

He beamed, proud of his work. “Mama! Apitcher!”

She fished out her phone and snapped one ofhim. He stretched out to grab it before she could even bend down to show him,marveling at the screen and swiping left and right. How kids adapted so quicklyto technology these days was beyond you.

It only took a few more minutes before hisparents left. You kissed your sister on the cheek and saw her off, promisingthat Moo would have a great time with you and the bros.

Well. Unfortunately, it looked like the onething your sister forgot to pack were snacks.

You thought you would be prepared for thiskinda thing. But after rushing to the kitchen once Moo started going on aboutwanting his favorite juice – pear, as it was – you realized that none of whatyou bought earlier in the week was going to suffice. In fact…as you rummagedthrough the empty boxes of cereal stuffed in the cabinets, you realized thatyou were completely cleaned out. What the hell!

“Sans, where are the fruit snacks in theshape of animals?”

“the frooty tooties? ate ‘em.”

“MORE LIKE HE CHEWED THEM UP UNTIL THEYWERE SQUISHY AND THEN USED THEM AS POSTER PUTTY TO HANG HIS NEW BLUEPRINTS UP!”

“Please tell me that’s a lie.”

“that’s a lie.”

“WAIT. HIS STATEMENT IS A LIE. BUT IF HE’SLYING ABOUT LYING, THEN DOES THAT MAKE IT A TRUTH?”

“Papyrus, no.”

“yes.”

“WHO DO I BELIEVE???”

You knew that you had to go out and getsome more age-appropriate snacks. Papyrus’ bone-shaped crackers were not goingto be a good combo for a kid who would’ve shoved as many as he could’ve downhis throat. That and the recipe was specifically made for making sure that theskeletons were calcified all to hell, which might’ve been a little weird tofeed a human child. Who knew what kind of repercussions would come out of that.

“Moo, follow me for a sec, okay?” You tookhim by the hoof – err, hand – and led him to the living room. He was alreadybouncing and looked restless. You had no clue when his last meal or snack was,but you weren’t ready to deal with the aftermath just yet.

It was kind of a crappy thing to do, butyou needed some time to talk to the boys in private. So you flicked on the TVand let him busy himself with the mindless chatter of some educationalcartoons.

“Okay, guys. We need a game plan.”

“EXCELLENT. I’LL GRAB MY JOURNAL. ONEMOMENT!” Papyrus rushed out of the room.

Every week Papyrus would pick his best mealfrom an array of dishes he cooked over the week, take about a day to create aphotorealistic painting of it, and then put it on the wall to cover a wall safefull of his most precious treasures. The safe was your idea, so that the dogsnooping around wouldn’t get into his figurines any more. Sans was the one whosuggested switching out the cover so people wouldn’t get suspicious. Why thatseemed logical, you would never know.

After snatching the book, Papyrus returnedto the kitchen for your huddle. He was focused, pen in his gloved hand,eyesockets narrowed, ready to strike the page with copious notes andillustrations.

“whaddid you wanna talk about, babe?”

“Moo needs snacks, since you so graciouslydecided to relieve him of those.”

“yer welcome.”

You sniffed. “Anyways, I need you guys torun to the store and pick him up some stuff. I’ll keep an eye on him here whileyou’re gone.”

“OF COURSE. BRILLIANT. I WOULD EXPECTNOTHING LESS FROM MY OTHER HALF.” Papyrus dotted his i’s and crossed his t’s,his careful penmanship a marvel even from all the way where you stood. “I, FORONE, AM GLAD TO EXPLORE THE BELLY OF THE BEAST OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SOOPERSAVERS!THEY EVEN HAVE THEIR OWN SPICE AISLE. HOW EXCITING.”

“sure, we’ll get in and out in under twentyminutes.” Sans winked.

That mischievous look on his face wasenough to put a wrench in your plans. “Okay, wait a second. I think I decidedtoo fast. Papyrus, we can’t trust Sans to go with anyone to the store. Rememberlast time? He locked you in the freezer for an hour.”

Papyrus gasped. “OH, NO. I HAD ALMOSTFORGOTTEN THOSE TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE MEMORIES!!! THE LOOK OF ABSOLUTE CONTEMPT ONTHE CARTOON COWS’ FACES AS I RESTED AMONG THE DAIRY. THEY SILENTLY JUDGED MYBONE DENSITY AND TEMPTED ME WITH WHISPERS OF CALCIUM INFUSED DRINKS!!!”

Sans kept his downright devilish grin,causing a sweat to bead on his brother’s forehead.

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, SANS.”

“well, you n’ me could go.” Sans swunghimself up on the kitchen counter. You weren’t sure how he managed to do thatgiven he was short as hell, but it was best not to question him and his casualabuse of physics. “my bro could stay here with the kid, and you’d make sure iwas on my best behavior.”

“HMM, TRUE. THOUGH THAT WOULD LEAVE ME ATQUITE THE DISADVANTAGE, AS MOST OF MY ACTIVITIES REQUIRE THREE PEOPLE! WE ARETRYING TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION ON MOO, SANS.”

“That and we would never get anythingdone.” You left it at that. You weren’t going to sit there and give him thesatisfaction of mentioning what happened on June 15th. You still hada scar in the shape of a bite mark that refused to go away, no thanks to him.

“WELL, WE COULD LEAVE SANS HERE ALONE ANDDO THE SHOPPING BY OURSELVES.”

You and Papyrus exchanged looks, then burstout laughing. Yeah, right. The entire house would be in shambles by the timeyou got back.

“hey, i resent that…you’re completelyright.”

You snorted. “Okay, so that’s one moreoption down. I guess this leaves one solution. Papyrus, Sans….are you two okayto stay here and watch Moo by yourselves for about an hour?”

Papyrus was quick to agree. Sans shruggedit off.

“WITH MY FAMILIARITY OF THE HOUSE, I WILL HAVENO TROUBLE DEFENDING MYSELF FROM SANS’ PRANKS. AND WE WILL SURELY BE ABLE TOCOMPLETE AT LEAST THREE PUZZLES WITH ALL OF US PARTICIPATING.”

“you gonna be ok buying groceries byyourself, babe?”

“I should be good. I’m more concerned aboutyou guys. But if you’re sure you can handle it, then I would really, reallyappreciate it.”

They both perked up. Any mention of yourapproval sent a pleasant shiver through their bones. Mostly because they lovedyou so much that making you happy was probably one of the only goals theyshared in life. (That and making sure they never missed an episode of the showall of you adored: Tales of the Aboveground, where monsters from all overshared their experiences of living on the surface.)

“THEN IT’S SETTLED. GOODBYE! WE WILL SEEYOU IN A BIT!”

“Hey, wait—”

You barely had a chance to get another wordout before you were shoved outside the front door, your bag magicallypositioned on your shoulder and keys around your fingers. You wanted to givethem some last minute advice, but the absolute Determination on their facesspoke volumes about their commitment to this. They would get through themorning without you and they weren’t going to take no for an answer.

Papyrus made sure to lock the door with aquick flick of his wrist, turning the small button on the knob despite yourprotests from outside. He sniffled.

“NYOO HOO HOO. I HATE TO LEAVE HER ON OURDOORSTEP. BUT WE HAVE TO BE STRONG.”

“it’s ok.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT. MOO NEEDS US.” Papyrus stoodto his full height and narrowed his eyes. “NOW…WHERE IS HE?”

Both paled.

“SANS ARE YOU TELLING ME WE ARE THIRTY-FIVESECONDS INTO OUR DEBUT AS BABYSITTERS AND WE HAVE LOST THE CHILD???”

“relax, bro. he’s gotta be somewhere in thehouse.”

Both went silent for any clues. Aside fromthe gentle trickling of water upstairs, it was relatively peaceful.

Wait…

Trickling water?!

“THE BATHROOM! SANS!!!”

“what about it?”

“HE’S IN THERE! STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME!LET’S GO!!!”

Papyrus put his gloved hand on the railingand propelled himself upward the long flight of stairs, Sans trailing behind.

The closer they got to the top, the louderthe noises became. Splashing and giggles. There were a million things thatcould’ve gone wrong when they opened the door, ninety-nine percent of which youwould probably dump them for. And they weren’t going to let that happen.  

“MOO? ARE YOU IN THERE? I WOULD LIKE TOCOME IN AND JOIN YOU!”

Papyrus jiggled the doorknob.

Locked.

“aw, shit.”

“SANS! WHAT DO WE DO?! WE HAVE NO ACCESS TOHIM! HE COULD BE DOING TERRIBLE THINGS IN THERE!”

“relax, bro. we made sure to turn off thewater for the tub. we put on the special seat for the toilet, and all themedications are locked up. there’s nothin’ he could do from his height.”

At that perfect moment, both brotherslooked down to see their feet sinking into a puddle of water creeping out fromunder the door.

Sans started to sweat.

“WELL, LOOKS LIKE THIS IS A JOB FOR MYIMMEASURABLE STRENGTH. STAND BACK, SANS!”

Papyrus readied himself at the door. Thesheer power of his love for you would surely get him through.

“ONE….” He would be a hero!

“TWO…” You would be so impressed with histoddler caring skills!

“THREE!”

He went for a running start and the dooropened.

“GGAAAAAAKKK!”

He dug his heels into the floor and bracedhimself for impact, doing his very best to stop his body from launching intothe room. All he could see was a hundred scenarios that ended up in someonebeing injured, from a minor scrape to complete and utter annihilation. Maybe hewas spending too much time with Undyne after all. His mind was getting to befar more dramatic than he would’ve liked for such a delicate situation.

As he poured his last ounce of strengthinto stopping dead in his tracks, the tip of his shoe caught on the rug Sansinsisted that they place right outside the bathroom. The gross, musty one hepicked up from a garage sale because he thought it was “a bargain”. Yeah, a bigpile of disgustingness and a cheesy line! What kind of pun was, “make some roomfor dessert”???

Papyrus teetered forwards and went crashingdown onto the floor. It didn’t hurt, but it was unpleasant to feel the stifftufts of the rug’s fabric scraping against his bones. Dazed, he lifted his headjust high enough to see the damage.

Moo had somehow tipped the trashcan overand stood up high enough for him to reach over to the sink. He had taken giantwads of toilet paper, coated them in water and soap, and then slapped the mushymass all over the bathroom. On Papyrus self-portrait made of dry pasta. Onthe cute little figurines that you swore brought life to the place. And even onSans’ joke book that had at least fifty unsanitary references!

With his consciousness fading and lastmortified look, Moo took the toilet brush and brought it up to his mouth tosniff it.

Sans knew that his brother would be okay,but it was still hilarious to see him faint like that. He mostly did it when heoverloaded on sensory things, which happened more often when Papyrus didn’thave his gloves on. But today it might’ve just been a combination of all newthings plus the pretty disgusting state the bathroom was in.

Sans couldn’t be prouder of the little guy.Already destroying the grossest room in the entire house. Man, humans werefascinating already with their digestive systems, but all the tools and suchused to help keep things civilized was enough to make him crack up. Seeing alittle kid completely oblivious toward all of that and dismantling the entirepolite system they had going on was amazing.

“kid, i think we’re gonna get along.”

He stuck his hand out, and was promptlygiven a slimy wad of tissue covered in snot.

“oh, man. that’s disgusting. i love it.”

Papyrus stirred from his unscheduled nap.He felt a little groggy, but the anxiety from before he passed out lingeredlong enough for him to snap back to reality. He sat up and rubbed at hiseyesockets.

“SANS? MOO? ARE YOU BOTH HERE?”

The whole bathroom was in disarray. Papyruscouldn’t bear to look! He reached for the door handle and made sure he didn’thave to subject his eyes to any more torture.

Papyrus happened to glance down at hischest while he pulled himself up from the floor. Pinned to his chest, along thepillow armor that had been fitted on him somehow, was a simple note.

countto ten, then see if you can find us

“I AM NOT PLAYING THIS GAME!” he shouted. “OH,WAIT. THERE IS ANOTHER MESSAGE WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF THE PAPER.” He turned itover.

yougotta. if you’re still not convinced, flip me over again

“WHAT!!!” Papyrus did as he was told.

wait,how does this paper have three sides? anyway, if you don’t do it i’ll trashyour room. love, your bro

“I HATE THIS!!!!” And, against his betterjudgment… “ONE, TWO, THREE…”

After ten agonizing seconds, Papyrus madehis way downstairs. He found a trail of flour leading to the backdoor, at leastfive toys strewn across the floor, some plastic utensils wedged between thecouch cushions, and the phone was off the hook with someone shouting on theother line.

“HELLO?” Papyrus scrambled for the phone,managing to wrestle it up to his face despite the long retro cord being tangledup in knots. “YOU HAVE REACHED THE HOME OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HIS EQUALLY GREATLADY, AND ONE LAZY BROTHER, HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?”

“Paps? It’s me. Is everything okay?”

His breath caught in his throat. Somehow. “AH!!!YES, EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT!” He started to sweat. “HOW IS THE STORE? HAVEYOU FOUND PRODUCTS AT REASONABLE AND UNBEATABLE PRICES?”

“I think so. I’m in line right now, butthere’s only one cashier and he looked like a new hire. He’s paging the emptystore for someone to do a price check on Mettamuffins. Oh my god. Now he’spanicking.”

“THIS STORY IS INCREDIBLY INTERESTING ANDDOWNRIGHT SCANDALOUS, BUT I HAVE SOME…THINGS…TO ATTEND TO.”

“Hmm. Are you sure you’re doing okay?”

He nearly cracked, but didn’t. “OF COURSEWE AM! I MEAN, OF COURSE I ARE! I WILL JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE I CLEAN UP SOMEOF OUR…ACTIVITIES! GOOD LUCK ON CHECKING OUT YOUR ITEMS! SMOOCH!!!”

He hung up and heard a quiet snicker in theroom.

“SANS, I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE. THIS CHILD’SPRESENCE HAS MADE YOU EVEN MORE…CHILDISH!!! PLEASE COME OUT OF HIDING, SHE ISCOMING BACK SOON AS WE NEED TO FIX THIS PLACE UP!”

No answer.

Papyrus crossed his arms and thought deeplyon where his brother would be hiding. His favorite spot to snooze in as of latewas the closet near the front door. But it didn’t look like that side of thehouse had been touched just yet. Sans also liked to roll under the couch andsleep under the comfortable weight of the cushions, but when he did that, healmost always managed to kick one slipper off. No sign of that.

As he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, a smalldroplet of liquid splashed against the top of his skull.

“…SANS!!!”

“heh heh. ya got me.”

Papyrus looked up and put his hands on hiships. Sans had somehow crawled up to the corner of the ceiling and was wedgedup there.

“WHERE IS MOO?”

“around here. told him to hide.”

“WE NEED TO BE WATCHING HIM!”

Sans slipped down the length of the wallwithout batting an eye. “ok, ok. i told him to hide in my room. let’s check itout.”

The trek toward the brothers’ bedrooms waslong and arduous, filled with slick spots of melting sticks of butter and granola.A gross combination, and Papyrus wasn’t even sure how he managed to get accessto more food. So much for locking everything up. But despite the harsh terrain,both brothers persisted until they reached Sans’ safe haven.

“hey, bro. what’re you doing? knock first.”

“THERE IS NO TIME FOR FORMALITIES. MOO, IAM COMING IN!”

The stench was unbearable. Dirty clotheslying haphazardly on the floor. A lampshade on the floor. Cloudy test tubesstacked on top of each other. Crumpled bedsheets, pillows stained with coffeeand tea, a plate caked with mysterious gray mold. The entire place looked likeit had seen the wrath of a certain three-year-old.

“everythin’ looks normal to me.”

“OH MY GOD. THE SMELL IS EVEN WORSE THAN ITWAS THIS MORNING!”

“oh yeah. i forgot to put this back in thefridge.” Sans picked up a cup of milk that already started to bubble in the smoldering,stuffy summer heat. “was gonna see if i could ferment this, but figured it’d bebetter to start another day.”

“DO YOU SEE HIM?”

“nope. call him.”

“MOOOOOOO!”

Sans’ eyesockets crinkled. “bro, are youpart cow?”

“NO.”

“because that impression was moo-ving.”

“STOP THIS.”

Then they heard it. A gasp. It was faint,but it was there.

“IS THAT…THE ATTIC???”

How did one child manage to maneuver aroundso easily? Humans were so tenacious! Neither of them could imagine raising oneof their own if they were all like this!

“MOOOOOO!”

“moooo.”

It was dark. How did he even navigate? Whenyou moved in with the brothers, there was so much extra stuff that it was allshoved up here. You and Sans promised to sort through it, but every time youwere both up here at the same time, you ended up just making a giant mess andleaving it worse off than when you came.

Papyrus nearly tripped over a giant chestfull of early courting gifts from him. You said they needed to be kept in asafe place, and that they were priceless, so they had to be stored away. Hebelieved you wholeheartedly, because you had wrapped them up in the softestblankets to shield them from dust and time. That and he caught you sneaking uphere sometimes just to admire them.

“bro, did you hear that?”

“HEAR WHAT?”

Sans froze. His eyesockets went dark.

“we’ve been cornered.”

Jumping out from the shadows, fingerssplayed and mouth opened wide, was Moo.

“Raaaah!”

Both of the brothers were surprised, butdid their best not to laugh. A tiny human in a cow costume roaring at them likea dinosaur was…probably the best thing they’d seen in weeks. It didn’t helpthat Moo charged toward them, bending down on all fours, the tiny tail sewn onhis backside flapping with every bounce toward them.

“PLEASE DON’T HURT US!” Papyrus cried.

But it was too late. Moo had conquered themboth, crawling on top of their toppled bodies and declaring himself as thewinner with a loud, long roar.

“alright, kiddo. let’s get you backdownstairs.” Sans plucked him off his chest and tucked him under an arm. “yougave us a big scare.”

“YOU COULD HAVE HURT YOURSELF…” Papyrusbegan. But after seeing the near teary look in Moo’s eyes, he recanted. “YOUWERE VERY BRAVE TO COME UP HERE BY YOURSELF. BUT NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD PLAY NEARUS, OKAY? WE WANT TO SEE MOO THE DINOSAUR UP CLOSE!”

All three of them headed back to the livingroom where Moo’s giant bag still sat untouched.

“I HAVE A COLORING BOOK I THINK YOU WOULDLIKE.”

“Crayons, please!”

“nice job, kid. use yer manners and you’llget far.”

“I SHOULD WASH HIS CLOTHING IN A FEW HOURS.HE LOOKS STICKY. OR IS THAT NORMAL FOR HIS AGE?”

Everything was okay after that. Some minorincidents – like Moo breaking a crayon and then throwing a tantrum despitebeing given the exact same color to use instead. The brothers had to muster up alltheir patience to deal with his screams and flailing limbs, but they managed toget him to stop wailing after a while.

In the end, the house was completelytrashed, but everyone was safe and sound.

You parked the car in the driveway andrummaged through the bag, grabbing a piece of candy to shove in your mouth. Ugh.What was supposed to be a quick trip to the store ended up being the biggestnightmare of your life. Long lines, rude customers, unorganized shelves, aclown blocking your nearest exit until you donated to his law school fund, andeven a broken traffic light that resulted in a twenty-minute detour through afuneral motorcade.

Needless to say, you were relieved to behome.

After gathering everything in your arms,you headed to the door. A smarter person would’ve called the brothers to letthem know that you were here, but you were so exhausted that the thought nevereven crossed your mind.

Knock. Knock.

“who’s there?”

“Sans.”

“sans who?”

“Sans, please let me in, my arms are goingnumb!”

“i don’t get it.”

“PERHAPS THE HUMOR LIES IN THE REALISM.”

“oh, ok.”

You heard him unlatch the door and youpractically burst in. “Someone please help me get these to the kitchen!”

Papyrus did more than that. He simplyscooped you up, bags and all, so that you were no longer crumbling under theircrushing weight. You were relieved to receive help, but gosh, it did bring a littlecolor to your cheeks when he easily carted you around like that.

He set you down in the middle of thekitchen. Without hesitation, you made your way into the fridge and startedshoving all sorts of snacks inside.

“So? How did it go, guys?”

Sans grinned. “eh, so boring.”

“What, really?”

“IT WAS…NEW.”

You peered over the fridge door. “I don’tknow if I like the sound of that. Where’s Moo?”

“NAPPING ON THE COUCH.”

“Wait, you guys actually got him to sleep?”

“he was kinda giving us a run for ourmoney, so it’s nice he decided to help us out with that.”

“Oh, no. Was he a handful?”

“heh. you decide.”

You blinked and stepped away from yourlittle comfort zone, only to fully drink in how destroyed the house was.

Yeah, it looked like a toddler had beenthrough here, all right. Everyone’s possessions poked and prodded. Annoying Dogeven had a balloon strapped to its tail, trying its best to run away from it asit hovered menacingly over its back. The walls had some minor scribbles hereand there, the carpet had splotches of (what you hoped was washable) paint,there were scraps of paper and a pair of kid scissors scattered along thefloor, and even Moo’s stuffed cow was completely soaked.

“Do I want to know?”

“not really.”

“WE HAD FUN, THOUGH.”

You sighed, relieved, and smiled at them.Your chest even felt a little tight. Ew, you were about to get sappy on them.Sugar overload.

“Thanks, guys. I’m really glad.”

“NOW YOU CAN HELP US WATCH OVER MOO FOR THEREST OF THE DAY!”

“yep.” Munch. “might as well include you onthe fun. ‘sides, you haven’t even seen how he pronounced the word ‘fantastic’.”Swallow.

“…why would he even say that in the firstplace?” you ventured. “Wait, never mind. The point is. You two were a hugehelp. I couldn’t have done this without you, and…I’m really looking forward tothe rest of Moo’s visit if I have both of you here with me.”

Papyrus’ eyesockets sparkled. Sans wasembarrassed, but shot you a cheesy grin anyway.

“Alright, when he wakes up, I’ll make him asnack plate. Sans, can you stop eating for a sec and hand me the FrootyTooties?”

“uh…whoops.”