#my father's home was rampant with discourse and bloodshed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fluffypotatey · 8 months

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i hope there’s a part of me that reflects a past i never got to know. i hope that others can hear certain inflections in my voice that tell them of places i know are a part of me but find unfamiliar. i hope there’s still a part of my body that bleeds the same blood of my ancestors— ancestors that resemble wisps of smoke more than concrete figures in my mind. i hope, one day, i can connect all the threads that were cut off and abandoned

#my mother used to tell me of how worried she was that i would die young because i couldn't help but throw myself into water #my father would always have to warn me of riptides because i could not separate myself from the beach #his home used to be filled with sleeping volcanoes and pristine beaches #my grandmother's home used to be green fields and cloudy skies. rain was a common occurrance #my father's home was rampant with discourse and bloodshed #my grandmother found her home too suffocating and stagnant. her nation's freedom was so new and unstable and old prejudices were not lost #i have relatives with stories so vibrant and fascinating but are now lost because of age and distance #i feel so distanced from the pull of their tides and can't help but feel too loose on the ground #do i fly up in the clouds because i one day dream to land?#land in the home that connects me to the history i have lost?#i was pulled away from the sea because it was dangerous and no longer my home #but it still calls #it calls me to return #but its warmth and familiarity is lost to me #i can no longer grasp it tightly as it spill through my fingers

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