#my favorite fact abt my himbo son is at the end

[beaufcrts]

[  kj apa  .  21  .  male  .  he/him  ] just saw CALEB BEAUFORT dragging their suitcase up the steps of BILLINGS  .  good luck living with HIM  ,  word around campus is that they’re MELODRAMATIC ,  JUVENILE,  AMIABLE  &  SOLICITOUS  .  makes sense they chose that house now  ,  doesn’t it  ?  let’s hope this new living situation doesn’t affect their JUNIOR year of SOCIOLOGY  [  karis  .  20  .  she/her  .  pst  ] 

hi hellooo ! my name’s karis and i’m so psyched to be here , even if this intro is for sure gonna be a wholeass mess ! feel free to hmu here or on d*scord @𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒉 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒂 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒚#9808 bc i already think y’all are hella rad :~) now lemme introduce you to caleb ( cal to his friends ) aka king of the himbos ... aka the human embodiment of “ ¿ por qué no los dos ? ”

( i say this bc he is somehow genuinely invested in so many things at once and his interests are ridiculously varied . he just ! loves things a lot ! for example , he thinks the bachelor is the fakest show on the planet , yet watches it religiously , and he cries shamelessly while watching roman holiday and yells at the tv while watching soccer ! he uses the word Bro as if it could be Any part of speech and also is very proud of how well he can do a dutch braid ! i don’t know how he isn’t constantly exhausted . okay , anywAY )

the backstory that he’d insist is Not Tragic but uh ... kinda is :

homeboy grew up in a fairly normal , middle-class home by the beach , loved musical theater and every sport under the sun , and was a pretty typical kid

and then at age 11 he was diagnosed with a nasty case of leukemia and his parents ( his mom is a psychology professor & his dad is a high school english teacher ) were understandably super freaked out

once his hospital bills started rolling in , his parents had to go grovel at the feet of his very waspy , cashmere-loving grandparents who live in the richass suburb of newport beach ... and whom they were estranged from for good reason , so cal’s leukemia was the catalyst for some additional tension in his family

at least at first , he was pretty lonely and suffered under an intense bout of depression because facing his own mortality before he had graduated middle school was … admittedly the Worst

while he was fighting his disease during his pre-teen/teen years , he got into poetry ( aka sobbed while watching dead poets society & almost got in a fistfight while defending byron … while in a wheelchair )

oh , did i mention that he LOVED 90′s boybands ? because he definitely listened to the classics religiously . like the backstreet boys ? boyzone ? *nysnc ? 98 degrees ? he’d regularly tell his nurses that cancer couldn’t take 90′s music away from him

there was a period of time where his prognosis was veeery poor and the doctors were giving him only a few months to live . as a result , tiny 13 year old cal wrote and published his own obituary . it’s still pretty easy to find with a well-worded google search , but he hates it when people bring it up . he’s truly the king of pretending like his near-death experience wasn’t traumatic as hell

with the like . truly extraordinary support system of his family and a few close friends , he managed to brave the storm and , after three and a half years of being in and out of the hospital and doing all kinds of treatments , he was given a clean bill of health

once he was living as a mostly-normal high school kid , his life goals really formed , which are to 1) love and give back to the people around him as much as humanly possible ( but especially his family because the stress of his health was truly a burden / caused a lot of tension between his parents ) and 2) carpe diem the hell outta everything

from that point on :

everything was fairly normal for him and his family ! once cal got accepted to hollis , his grandparents insisted on covering what his academic and soccer scholarships wouldn’t ( they also bought him a sailboat but that’s beside the point lmaooo )

cal chose to major in sociology and minor in creative writing bc he just ... loves people and interpersonal connections ... wanted to learn more about them and create art about them ! this boy has such a pair of rose-colored glasses and is too soft pls don’t @ him

homie is known to say things like “ i’m gonna send her an edible arrangement . as a thank you for sleeping with me . ” or “ i cherish you , bro . i cherish you so hard . ”

he’s still kinda like a kid because he feels like he missed out on so much of his adolescence and he loves being goofy and having fun ( think like … jake peralta or winston bishop kinda demeanor )

he’s also such a jock tho . like , if prompted , he can talk about messi’s footwork or alex morgan’s speed with such enthusiasm . he loves soccer ! he loves seeing the fruits of his hard work ! and he especially loves being a part of a team !

and , on that note ... caleb is the DEFINITION of a ride or die . he’d fling himself into moving traffic for the people he cares about … and he may care about someone after one ( 1 ) conversation about how cars ( 2006 ) is a masterpiece

this boy hella cares about people . like , maybe too much . he’s not afraid at all to show affection , whether that be through physical touch or through words of affirmation … ( this is stolen from the 5 love languages ! i’m a white suburban Mom on the inside ! ) he will hug you ! he will tell you that you are brighter than the north star !

whether he means to or not , caleb can be a Big Flirt bc he loves giving and receiving attention . he wants to be friendly / make people laugh / make people feel loved more than anything , but sometimes it can get a little out of hand

he’s always down for a good time – and that can mean partying , or driving to get food and belting mariah carey on the way , or singing around a campfire . with too much alcohol , Drunk Caleb makes bad decisions and tends to hook up with someone. Sober Caleb thinks ahead ; Drunk Caleb does … not

he briefly dated one of mitt romney’s granddaughters …

and also almost got into a fistfight with one of her cousins over politics . why was this one of the first facts i knew about caleb ? who knows .

anywaY this is WAY too long ... thank you for sticking with me ! let’s plot ! i’m PUMPED :~)

[tuff-and-fluff-archives]

Hey Ruby!! Firstly, I hope things improve soon!! You're dealing with some unpleasant feelings so it's okay if you take a little time to feel better, and you have plenty of people here who love and support you!! Secondly, I've got a free gush pass for you! Use it whenever you like! 💌 Tell me something about your latest F/O, or the F/O who you're currently fixated on! Bonus points if you include a pic of them! :3c

Hey there, my dude. You sent this when I was goin thru a rough night, and I really appreciate that. The fact that you put time aside to make sure I was doin alright is really sweet of you and I appreciate it a lot 🥺💝💝💝 And I hope that you know that the same feelings extend to you. If you ever need to talk about anything, don't hesitate to head into my dms!! 🥺💖💖💖

Now as for that gush..... OOOOOH I feel like this is long overdue bUT HEEEEERE IS A GUSH.... for Massimo 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖 my big strong but sweet and soft Italian man!! 🥺💖💖💖

I gotta say with him it was kind of a love at first sight?? Idk what it was but when I first watched Luca and it got to the first scene with Massimo, I was just IMMEDIATELY like 👁👁 who dat 👀👀 Like I feel like he was just my type right away??? Which is so funny cuz I feel like my type with men is SO all over at this point, like what do I like?? Himbos? Dilfs? Rat Bastards? A bit of all of em?!? WHO KNOWS BUT MASSIMO HITS ONE OF THOSE SO ITS ALL OKAY 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖

And I won't lie... when he sat down at the table and literally the WHOLE ROOM shook.... That was it. My heart went ba-thump and my brain went OH NOOOOOO 😳💖💖💖💖 But in reality, what really captured my heart about him is just how BIG AND WARM this man's heart is 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖 Like he just has so much love and caring to give and when it comes to the 3 main kids, he never hesitates to be so sweet and nurturing with all of them, even Luca and Alberto who he just met, and ITS JUST. SO SWEEEEEEET I LOVE HIM SO MUCCCCHHHH 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖

And to end off this lil gush, allow me to show my absolute favorite image of him 🥺💖💖💖

GOD JUST. LOOK AT THIS ITS SO CUUUUUTE 🥺💖💖💖💖 Ppl love to talk about the moment where Alberto was imitating Massimo by working with one hand, BUT CAN WE TALK ABT HOW MASSIMO ALSO IMITATES ALBERTO BY EATING WIF HIS HAND??? 🥺💖🥺💖🥺 THE IMMEDIATE FATHER-SON CONNECTION OF THESE TOO I STG 😭💖💖💖💖 Plus just... the lil noodle hangin out of his mouth... Imma steal it. Wif a KISS 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖