#my fucking god the rainbow sequenced dress ....

[maserati-yokota]

AJW SUPER HURRICANE Commercial Tape 4/9/94

Rie Tamada vs. Chaparrita ASARI

This is ostensibly a rookies match but Tamada had been at it since 91 and ASARI since 92 so really this is just a juniors match. Tamada ties ASARI up like a bow in an attempt to keep her off her feet. The crowd couldn’t care less, but despite the wealth of talent on this show, the crowd seemed to all have dosed with Niquil so don't worry about it. This is perfectly fine and easily the best singles match either of them produced in their early days. Don't let the perverts in the audience sway you.

Mr. Buddhaman vs. Tomezo Tsunokake No firecrackers in this one! Lots of spots they worked around the circuit but also some pretty brutal spots. The crowd thinks this is comedy because the crowd is awful people. There are way worse ways to spend your time. These two could've lead a whole goddamn promotion.

Suzuka Minami & Tomoko Watanabe vs. Takako Inoue & Kaoru Ito I think even at this point Suzuka was still under the shadow of her former tag partner Hokuto, so the crowd is expecting a less than fiery performances from her. But everybody here shows the fuck up. Another counterpoint for everybody who says these four never blossomed. Haters never die.

Zen Nihon Senshukenjiai: Mima Shimoda vs. Miki Handa Miki Handa is sadly a footnote of the era. But in reality she was to LLPW what Plum was to JWP; she takes a colossal ass-kicking like an Absolute Girl and makes you love her and want her to win even though you know it ain't likely. In terms of the inevitability of CTE, that sucks a lot; but in terms of the wrestling narrative of the era (and still evident today, i.e. how Tam Nakano is booked in Stardom) it’s fun to have somebody who’s good at chasing and bad at catching. Stan Hansen? Great at chasing; didn't work as a champ. Ya feel me? Handa catches Shimoda with a quick German at the bell. Shimoda responds by doing the rope spot the world was tired of years before it finally stopped happening. Test of strength into finger stomp. Shimoda was LCO from the jump! Suzuka Minami on commentary, per usual. Shimoda doing joint manipulation and folding Handa into an origami frog is PEAK Shimoda. If Shimoda is Hokuto Lite, Handa is Cuty Suzuki Lite. Neither of those things are bad. Most of us will never be anywhere near that good at anything.

Shimoda throws Handa into every metal surface in Tokyo. Handa sells it by being THOROUGHLY peeved, then vertical suplexes her like a frilly Jumbo Tsuruta. Makes no sense but such is televised wrestling. You watch for the glorious moments when things coalesce into something greater than their constituent parts. Shimoda proves she's the WCW Ric Flair of the era by refusing to sell for anyone and just going thru her standard shit. UNTIL Handa gets her in a surfboard and then Shimoda looks like she's recovering from a visit to the dentist's. Weird sell but ok. Handa is def selling her part of the story--that Shimoda sucks on the mat; which we all knew but weren't sure would be enough to put her away. Surprise! It isn't. Mostly cuz Shimoda doesn't really ever wanna do business.

Zenjo vs. LLPW: Etsuko Mita vs. Eagle Sawai I can tell by the opening mat sequence that this is gonna be a 100hrs long. Eagle could go, she just always got mired in the mid-card sludge cuz no one in upper management thought she was photo book material. Mita Etsuko without a bright pink chair to hit folks with is rarely a Mita Etsuko you wanna watch.

Bull Nakano & Sakie Hasegawa vs. Manami Toyota & Kyoko Inoue Holy shit! How is this buried in this largely-forgotten event? Peak era for pretty much everyone involved. Hasegawa in upstart heel mode is a mood for the ages. She jukes Inoue and Toyota, Bull takes one step into the ring, and the crowd goes pale. Bull and Hasegawa take turns turning Toyota into a balloon animal ripe for popping. Hasegawa Tiger Suplexes Inoue into a billion day-glo shards. Hasegawa sells a top-rope DDT like someone everyone knows survived a catastrophic neck injury just a few years before--which is to say, like, "...that's all you got?" Bull doing a vertical suplex with a bridge is the rarest Bull; the crowd is a fog of question marks. Toyota's mouth is dripping blood. Hasegawa's spinning heel kick would still pop a crowd into a froth today. Watching her toss Toyota off when she goes for the lucha roll is so cathartic; no one wants to see a funny move done without a shred of irony. It is to Toyota's career as male pattern baldness is to Shawn Michaels. Why not have fun with it? Toyota does the German Airshow Leap to the outside and eats shit. (She's still bloodied, btw.) Bull figures if they both switch off chipping away at Inoue and Toyota, their combined efforts will rule the day. But twas not to be. The Fringe-Lace alliance get that good good W. Toyota realigns her nose and is back to looking crisp for the post-match interview. Hasegawa let's her shiny rainbow singlet, emblazoned with puff-paint, speak for her.

Aja Kong vs. Reggie Bennett This match wasn't even listed on the tape! I had no idea. This is their first encounter and will presumably last longer than their match from Arsion in 98--i.e., I am allowed to blink. No one will ever have better entrance music than AJW-era Aja Kong. It's inconceivable. Reggie has one giant French braid, cut-off overalls and a hardhat and she is your new fashion GOD. Aja does some Muta bits like spitting mist and doing a flying shoulder block. I'm glad the crowd enjoyed it cuz I think it sucked. Despite her present-day role (giving joshi aces a bog-standard 30min match on a monthly basis), Aja Kong transcends conventional gimmickry. She doesn't need that shit. Her reputation precedes her. It's at this point I notice Reggie Bennett is a beast who absolutely mauls Aja for the first 15min like no one I've ever seen. It's not just the booking; she legit tosses her around like my cat bats a balled-up tissue. Where is the Reggie Bennett shoot interview??? Aja shotays her way out of danger until they go into the crowd segment. Will Reggie blade?? Will she ever do a shoot interview? No and no. She does, however, power through two brutal lariats only to powerslam Aja! Has that ever happened? I cannot emphasize enough how intense Reggie's pace and strength are in this. Reggie takes a diving elbow to the clavicle and immediately dies. That made no sense. Aja spits yellow mist and now I hate her. Reggie Bennett forever. Post-match, Aja talks shit. Reggie commits herself to training harder. I say it again: Reggie Bennett forever.

Zenjo vs. LLPW: Yumiko Hotta & Toshiyo Yamada vs. Shinobu Kandori & Harley Saito I expect a Golden Corral buffet of kicks. A dumptruck full of kicks. A Nor'Easter of kicks descending upon me like I'm some quaint little hamlet. Kandori and Saito are basically the toughest LLPW had to offer. They're ready for Yamada and Hotta, though, and this is up and headed for the first overloaded plate of kicks before the bell has rung. Did Hotta vs Kandori ever happen? Shoulda. Kandori is horngry for AJW BLOOD. Saito is dressed like a tradtional Afghan dancer who has just discovered rave. Hard to say which I love more. Yamada kicks Kandori right in the jaw and...yeah no I've made my decision; I love that most of all. Hotta seems genuinely afraid of Saito. Kandori taunts Hotta, teasing the showdown, then decks Yamada with the QUICKNESS. This rules. Yamada has stepped up the stiffness for the occasion. You love to see it. Why didn't we get a year of these tag matches like All Japan in 91? Kandori dumps Yamada off her shoulders in one of the most wreckless things I've ever seen in a wrestling ring. Unfuckingreal. Hotta tries to smother Kandori but fears her Fujiwara armbar. As do I. They blunder into the finishing stretch with Saito as the speedbag. Saito never got her due. They seriously could've setup a whole year of main event booking around these four. Yamada finally nails her insanely complicated finisher and the streamers rain down. Structurally awkward but radiating more heat than most well-established feuds.

[toradh]

Minutes of me watching the, luckily, last episode of ToZX

Warning: lots of capslock, lots of cursing. I finally figured out how to put things under a cut, hooray! Beware of obvious spoilers for the game, the anime, AND Tales of Berseria ahead. It’s also a goddamn long post.

0:00: *has just made the bad mistake to eat a whole litre of vla. Very hyper, hands are shaking, tummy ache* Okay, Ufotable. DO YOUR WORST.

No opening? I can deal. Didn’t expect it anyway. No anime ever plays the opening in the last episode, right? I don’t like it, anyway.

0:20: Yes, I know, it’s Captain Planet, go ahead and do shit

0:30 I’m kinda disappointed that the Captain Planet theme isn’t actually playing

0:58: No, it looks plain silly. NO CAPES, DAMN IT Btw are the girls just gonna stand there in the background for the entire episode?

1:20: Yeah, looks like Captain Planet mode sucks after all. Btw if I wasn’t still sick, I’d take a sip for Meebo shouting “Sorey!”

1:29: You’re saying that NOW, Lailah? And is Heldalf just gonna stand there and watch the whole time?

2:08: I want Sorey’s hair conditioner

2:30:  I honestly can’t read my shaky sugar-induced and rage-fueled handwriting for that minute anymore, but the last words seem to suggest that I was bitching about Anime!Sorey being a Gary Stu. Speaking of shaky handwriting, most „2“ in this post might as well be a „1“ and vice versa, hard to tell

2:48: NO, SOREY. YOU FUCKING CAN’T. WHO WROTE HIM SUDDENLY BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS THAT THE ENTIRE GAME IS MAKING HIM LEARN THAT HE CAN’T. And I can’t even do English anymore

2:57: Yay the good songs are back I also wanna use these nifty rainbow magic dual element spells

3:37: …You still can’t, you know

3:47: Okay girls, I see you’re bored and wanna do something, BUT YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO, OK? YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE HERE. NOBODY SHOULD BE IN THAT FRIGGIN’ VOLCANO ACTUALLY

3:56: Hi Dezel!

4:00: I’m touched that Dezel opted to ship RosAli and has given the girls his blessing

4:10: Sorey, if the Gay Pride Armatus is that exhausting to use, I’d suggest you stop wasting your breath with cheesy speeches

4:38: DAT’S SOME BFS DAT’S THE BUSTER SWORD OF GAY PRIDE

4:44: At least they somehow… reshaped that sweet sequence from the original game’s opening animation where Sorey and all Seraphim unanimously punch Heldalf. Okay, this is a sweet but sorry attempt at a decent battle scene.

5:03: WTF FUCKING WHY I JUST – *inhales deeply* Heldalf, you’re fucking doing it wrong, Velvet would be disappointed with you

5:28: That’s some ugly CGI malevolence

5:55: EVEN IN THE MANGA THEY HAD FIGURED OUT BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE THAT THE LAND AND LA– MAOTELUS ARE CORRUPTED, AND THAT THING HAS ONLY 19 CHAPTERS! HOW HARD CAN IT BE!? BTW YOU’D KNOW IF YOU HAD EVER BOTHERED TO TALK TO MUSE YOU BASTARDS

6:30: What was the Gay Pride Armatus even good for? LAP–– I MEAN MAOTELUS, PLEASE INTERVENE, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AS GOD

8:00: SEAL? JUST KILL YOU DUMB IDIOT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

8:10: Oh no Meebo, please don’t cry OH SHIT NO IF THAT’S NOT THE LOOK OF A BROKEN HEART THEN IT’S ON MY FACE RIGHT NOW

8:20: ARGLBLARGL NO NO NO DON’T PLAY JOURNEY’S END IN THE BACKGROUND, OH GOD WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY (=Sorey. Or Maotelus with a Deus Ex Machina move, come on, I’ve been so waiting for it) FINALLY END MEEBO’S SUFFERING

8:40 OH MAN ANIME!SOREY FOR WORST BOYFRIEND EVER

9:03: IT’S GONNA BE THE PURPLE PROSE AU

9:14: *hands over tissues and chocolate* Meebo, you know, this whole show doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, anyway, so there’s absolutely no need for Sorey to pull through with this heroic sacrifice but kinda not at all shit thing

9:20: SOMEONE GIVE THAT POOR BOY A HUG FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

9:24: I doubt he’s listening right now, Sorey, and you really deserve a punch or two

10:34: WHERE WAS THAT DREAM THE LAST FUCKING 24 EPISODES!!!!!!!!?????????????

10:40: I’D TAKE A SIP IF I WASN’T STILL SICK AND SOBBING

10:59: Yeah, Alisha, I’m glad you’re still alive, too. Who even suggested that squire-killing risk in the first place

11:09: HI CUTIE-PIE! Okay I admit it, part of me who was already used to being spoilered just wanted to see cute baby Laphi turning back his adorable seraph self. Screw this BTW SHOULDN’T YOU KINDA BE DOWN THERE WITH SOREY, WHICH WAS THE 1000% BETTER CONNECTION TO THE BERSERIA PLOT!????

11:22: I don’t think he hears you, sweetie

11:49: Are you gonna give me nothing but scenery porn for the remaining 10 minutes!?

12:55: Oh no, you didn’t fucking make the last in the line to the throne –

12:57: OH MY GOD NO YOU DID

13:05: That dress is disappointingly boring

14:57: What the fuck is written on that stone?

15:07: How many shepherds has Anime!Lailah destroyed?

15:25: …so, did they kill Eizen?

16:00: ZAVEID, YOU’RE EXCLUSIVELY HANGING OUT WITH OTHER SERAPHIM, AND YOU TRIED TO KILL SOREY THREE TIMES IN A ROW, HOW ARE YOU AN EXAMPLE OF INTERCULTURAL MEDIATION Oh wait actually Anime!Zaveid has never tried to kill Sorey. Well, anyway.

16:03: …Yeah, Eizen is what? Apart from, STILL A DRAGON AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, STILL CURSED!?

16:25: Ride a dragon, Edna

16:40: …It was too much to ask, I guess. Dammit.

16:57: Oh hello long-haired Rose. How did it get that long, she doesn’t even look a single day older

AND WHERE IS YOUR SHEPHERD’S CLOAK, BITCH!?

You also look like a Pokémon trainer. Or like a female Luke. Definitely female Luke

17:43: Lesbians doing a cooking course together. How does that fit your schedule, QUEEN ALISHA?

18:02: HAROLD, THEY’RE LESBIANS

19:07: PURPLE PROSE AU IS REAL

19:55: They are so fucking married I can’t believe my eyes

20:18: Well… about that…

20:20: YEAH ASK MEEBO, EXCEPT SOMEBODY DECIDED TO CUT THAT PART OF PLOT AND WORLDBUILDING COMPLETELY OUT OF THE STORY

20:32: *CHOKED SCREAMING*

Btw is there a specific reason why the nameless kids look like Sorey’s and Mikleo’s human love children? Except hurting me on a deep emotional level?

20:41: THAT’S AN UNDERSTATEMENT AND YOU KNOW THAT, TSUNLEO

21:18: Hey wait, they can still do the telepathy crap? Why? And how is the pact still in place?

21:23: ARRRRHHHHHH WHY DO YOU BREAK MY HEART, ALL I WANTED WAS SERAPH SOREY

21:40: R3V#1GU) +B8ß23pkcf +ierq0ßcple2ßîdo^# jncoäejvcreoL *AGGRESSIVELY SMASHES KEYBOARD*

21:52: …Dammit. *adapts “adult Meebo is still shorter than Sorey” headcanon to “adult Meebo is the same height as Sorey until he starts growing too, until they arrive at the same height difference again* Then again, this is a stupid canon divergent AU, anyway, right?

21:58: FOR FUCKING REAL!?

22:05: Good idea, ask Gramps for all the missing things from the plot. The adaptation spared him, after all

22:15: Part of me is relieved, part of me is very upset

22:43: Why can you still do this? BTW WAY TO CHEAT ON A RACE

23:00: When did you two learn to fly?

AND WHERE THE FUCK IS MAOTELUS? WHO CARES ABOUT HELDALF, WHO SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD? I WANT MY SWEET BABY BACK

23:06: What… or where is that?

23:17: THAT’S FRIGGIN’ NORMAL BIRDS, SOREY

And did you just fly out of Glenwood to Tethe’alla, because I don’t recognize that view

WHAT A RIDE

Hands still shaky, still sick, fucking offended

PLEASE END MY LIFE

(no reaction scribbles this time, at least not immediately. Except Sorey and Mikleo should totally adopt their mini selves. AND LAPHI.)

[rantsaboutponies]

Equestria Girls: Legend of Everfree

Can they please stop making these? I don’t budget my time well, it’s 2:30 in the morning, I want to go to bed. Just remember, I’m doing this for YOU guys. For YOU guys.

For the record, I wait until the last minute to write these reviews because they usually take almost three times the length of the movie to write. It’s also why I can’t watch them on TV; I have to pause constantly.

First of all, I didn’t hear jack shit about this movie. I think the viewership for each one really is dwindling. I barely even saw any porn of it! That is surprising!

Second of all, was this one ever available on Netflix? I swear I streamed the third one there, but now it doesn’t even have a listing (nor does the fourth one). Hopefully the version I got is the uncut version (it’s not a TV rip, and the runtime does match), but if I left anything out, be sure to tell me. Oh, and I’ve given up on that list of “things that all these movies do that directly contradict the fact that this universe intersects with the pony universe” that I tried to carry over into the second movie’s review, so keep that in mind.

Oh, and can anyone let me know if they see a trailer for My Little Pony: The Movie in the theater? It comes out in four months, and I’ve been at almost all of the kids’ movies this year (yes, even Rock Dog, which actually wasn’t half-bad, and The Boss Baby, which was not as bad as the trailers made it look but was still the worst of the kids’ movies I’ve seen this year [which isn’t actually surprising, since there have only been three]; I’m still not seeing Smurfs, though, and I’m sure as fuck not seeing Spark: A Space Tail), and I’ve seen nothing about it. I’ll make a separate post about that closer to October.

All right, the review proper starts...NOW!

I said it before, and I’ll say it again: DO THESE HIGH-SCHOOLERS HAVE PARENTS?! SERIOUSLY, WHERE ARE THEY?

Thirty seconds. Thirty FUCKING seconds. That’s how long it was before Pinkie Pie made me want to strangle her. Literally. Thirty seconds. Her first line. Fantastic impression you’re making on me, movie.

All right, Rainbow Dash throwing a picture of herself into the suitcase is certainly part of the annoying one-dimensional writing that she (and really, all of the characters) has had in these movies, but...I’m sorry, I still laughed. Forgive me.

Wow, the...uh...plot just started right away, didn’t it? I’m so confused. I sure hope this is a dream sequence because otherwise this is really stupid. Oh, okay, it was. Never mind.

Ah, the indie rock craze has finally hit Human Equestria. You guys are, like, five years behind on that, you know. I gotta be honest, though, I kinda like this theme song. I feel like it would sound better with different singers, but I’m digging this so far. Maybe this movie won’t be so bad? Ah heh heh heh...

I briefly forgot that Human!Twilight’s Spike was magically given the ability to talk at the end of EQG3, so I was thrown off there for a second. I just realized, though, that that means that they don’t ever have to have any connection to Pony!Equestria ever again. Smart idea, but Pinkie’s summary of the previous three movies immediately afterwards negates what you were going for there (especially since none of that has anything to do with the plot of this movie directly).

“You’ll get used to it.” Yeah, you’d better get used to your “friends” talking shit about you to your face. The second movie was full of that. *sigh*

Oh, goody, Professor Umbridge is the camp director. Please tell me she gets dragged off by centaurs at the end of this movie, too.

“Stay away from the rock quarry. That’s off-limits. Unless, of course, you’re a main character, in which case the plot will facilitate that you go there at some point during this movie, probably somewhere near the end. Just a heads-up.” (Also, “rock quarry” is redundant, dumbasses.)

Actually, the word “sapphire”’s link to the Latin “sapphir” (or “sappir” or “sapphīrus”) links to the Ancient Greek “sáppheiros”, meaning “precious stone” or “gem”, which probably linked to a Semitic source (similar to Hebrew’s “sappī́r”, referring to lapis lazuli), but may be related to a non-Semitic source such as the Sanskrit “śanipriya”, meaning “dark-colored stone” or, literally, “dear to Saturn”. And, as an interesting sidenote, the Ancient Greeks didn’t even have a word for “blue”. Also, rubies are not just sapphires “with chromium”; rubies are corundum with chromium. Sapphires contain other impurities like titanium, iron, or magnesium (which give them any of a number of non-red colors) that rubies may not contain at all; since chromium is what colors them red, chromium is the only impurity required to make a ruby. So, in other words, shut your fucking face, you smug dipshit.

By GOD, I hope Gloriosa is the villain because I really hate her.

See, even though Filthy Rich is, well, filthy rich and could very easily be an upper-class dickhead, the show never made him one. He’s clearly not aware what an utter bitch his daughter is, since he punished her for it the one time he found out, but he has always been depicted as someone who cares about his community and acts kindly towards the other ponies in the town without being condescending or displaying any obvious class distinction. It is something notably unique about the show and is something I’ve actually admired amidst its recent waning quality.

The people writing this movie apparently didn’t know that and just went, “His name is Filthy Rich? He must be the VILLAIN!” Goddamnit, you fucking worthless TV movies.

Oh, man, oh, man, please tell me that Princess Celestia is holding a flute there in the background because she’s telling a “This one time, at band camp” story. I’ve already made that joke at least five times in my head by now, so please tell me I’m justified.

Holy shit, look at that setup! These girls get massive tents with only two people in each and with FULL-SIZE BEDS! So much for “roughing it”! How big is this camp again? This must take up a ludicrous amount of space.

Please tell me they’re not going to do Sunset Shimmer’s storyline again with Twilight. Come on.

No, Sunset, if there’s anyone you should be nervous around, it’s Pinkie Pie.

Okay, Fluttershy’s line about “birds that land on your finger” WAS funny until you felt the need to explain the joke with Rainbow Dash’s “I think that only happens to you.” Rule #1 of comedy: Don’t! Explain! The joke!

Does Vinyl Scratch have an amazing wireless connection, or do her headphones themselves contain an MP3 player? I don’t see those working any other way.

Can I punch Timber in the face yet?

How the hell would you make that dock into a catwalk? The only way that would work would be if either the models entered from or the audience were seated in the water. Otherwise, the models will be walking away from the audience and not easily visible for the majority of their time on the runway. You’ve gotta think about logistics, Rarity!

PUNCH.

Hmm...Gaia Everfree’s story is kind of weak. And arbitrary. “YOU CAN’T STAY!” “Oh, please let us stay!” “WELL...OKAY. BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO LEAVE! EVENTUALLY! AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE!”

25 minutes in is a little late for your first song, guys. I was starting to think this wasn’t going to be a musical.

Oh, thank GOD, Timber is a villain, too. That means we’ll get to WATCH HIM DIE. ... Okay, fine, wishful thinking. Hell, being the villain in these movies (or on the show) pretty much guarantees that you’ll get even more screentime in later installments. (Also, he apparently can’t hear anything that’s right next to him as long as he’s offscreen. Right.)

Of course, the scene in the cafeteria reminded me of this.

And in the next scene, it’s impossible not to think of this.

So... Rarity’s just...useless. That’s been established, right?

Goddamnit, Pinkie, stop being a menace! You almost killed all of your friends! Again!

Hmm...this song sounds like a really lame, low-rent version of this.

Wha? You mean the obvious villain is obviously a villain? NO. (Except I guess that means that Timber isn’t a villain as well. Damn.)

Boy, it’s really convenient that Gloriosa is having these extremely lengthy and detailed flashbacks while they all just stand there, totally unbothered by Sunset zoning out and holding onto her arm.

I do like that they made dummies of Twilight and Sunset just because they weren’t there for the dress rehearsal. How long do you think that took?

“I GOT THIS!” That’s got to be one of the weakest things I’ve ever heard that someone tried to turn into a catchphrase.

Well, looks like someone really liked Maleficent.

I gotta ask...has there ever been a good villain song in the MLP movies or the show?

“Oh, no! She’s forming a wall that clearly has an upper bound! If only we had some sort of appendages that we could use to project our bodies upward! No, I think we had better wait until the vines completely form a dome over us. Surely that will work.”

I think the writers are trapped in this paradox of knowing that they have an actual interesting character in Sunset Shimmer but being forced to focus all their efforts on the Mane Six because they’re the main characters, despite having no personalities to speak of.

“What are these?” “I’m not sure! But clearly they will be in stores alongside the release of this movie!”

Ah, so you got out of the logistical failure of trying to figure out how the dock could act as a runway by canceling the fashion show altogether! Wow.

Okay, this song is definitely one of the better ones in this movie series, but holy crap, get some stronger singers. I mean, all right, I know you can’t, but...can’t you, like, release an official cover of this song recorded by an actual singer, like Disney does with their animated musicals?

I do always love the moronic cliché of the villain showing up at the ending celebration for no logical reason other than to scowl at the protagonists and storm off angrily.

You know, there are only so many features and accessories and superpowers you can add to these characters before you start running out of places to put them.

*GASP* OH MY GOD THAT ENDING CLIFFHANGER MEANT NOTHING! Seriously, fuck off with that shit.

And of course, the stinger has to show that Pinkie Pie always ruins everything. ALWAYS. ALWAYS.

All right, so in conclusion...these movies are all the same. I mean, I think we kind of established that already, but man...

Can we just give Sunset Shimmer her own movie? One where she just fucks off by herself and finds better friends with actual personalities and they all do something interesting? Can that be the next theatrical movie? Please?