#my granny treated me badly (bc everyone in this family loves my brother more) and gave me religious trauma and left me alone with strangers
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My granny on dad's sad been getting easily sick lately and like i know shes was gonna die someday but i feel bad for not feeling sad about it
#for context shes the one that took care of me and brother when we were kids. back then we were legally obligated to spend time with our dad#at least 6 days a month. but he just left us w her and went to work bc hes an workaholic#my granny treated me badly (bc everyone in this family loves my brother more) and gave me religious trauma and left me alone with strangers#from her church. and then our grandpa (that didnt even live w her anymore) got super sick and his wife refused to take care of him#so she left him with our granny. and granny spent years and so much money on him for nothing. he was going to die anyway#he was barely a shell of a person that could only shit snd piss himself and still she forced herself to care for him because she#believed that if she did she would go to heaven#not even gonna touch on all the problems and hard times she gave my mother#i love and respect my granny for the strong black woman she is but god.... all the trauma she gave me....#2 this day she still treats me badly 4 being an atheist and gay. she still treats my uncle (her SON) badly 4 being gay and being darkskin.#i wonder if when she dies ill even be able to cry. i remember i cried everytime i had to leave her house when i was a child#like it wasnt all bad you know#i can remember good moments if i think about it#sorry for the trauma dump LOL#been way too much in my head these past few days
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