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aoi-midori · 8 years ago

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Lucid Storm Chapter 2

yo! i meant to post this one a while ago, but i got sidetracked by a lot of stuff, so i wasn’t on tumblr too much. so i’m doing it now. also, note how I HAVE A NEW TITLE FOR MY STORY. ‘lucid storm’ is now the official title! woo! anyway, i’ll post the links to the previous chapters before the ‘read more’!

Chapter 0: ETMA (Prologue) | Chapter 1: First Mission

Chapter 2: The Element Spheres [Emma Parker]

“Whoa. Geez Al, calm down! You’re hitting too hard!”

“Oh, I am? Sorry, my bad.” Al relaxed himself more and continued punching away, this time a bit more gently, at the blocking cushion I was holding up for him.

“Got something on your mind?”

“Nah, not really. I read the new chapter though.”

“Yeah?” The chapter in question was from a long-running manga series Al had been reading for years. I didn’t read this one in particular, but I knew a lot about it thanks to him. “And?”

Al shrugged. “It was okay, I guess.”

“Really? Just okay?”

“Yeah, well I feel like this arc in general has just been dragging for a while now. Some aspects are pretty interesting, but there was mostly just exposition stuff this chapter. And not too much has been going on just yet.”

He started punching harder again, but I was ready for it this time. “Still, at least the fave was able to kick some ass this time around. It’s pretty cool to see him in action since all the focus has been off of him for 3 irl years.”

Al stopped and wiped the sweat off his forehead with his arm. “Alright Em, you’re up.”

“Thanks!” I handed him the cushion and braced myself before I gave it the first blow. Upon first contact, I could feel the warmth from Al’s punches. It was… very comforting, and it put me at ease.

“So, the arc is definitely almost over, right? I mean, that’s what it sounds like to me.”

“I have no idea to be honest. You can’t really predict anything with Oda involved.”

He sighed. “But nevermind that. Is there anything new with you?”

“What? We just saw each other last night Al!”

“Yeah, well something could have happened since then! You never know, right? So?”

“Mmm, I don’t think so. After you left last night, I just went to bed. But…” I paused for a second as I slowly started to remember. “But I did have that dream again though.”

“Which one?”

“You know, that one recurring dream with the girl in it?”

“Oh shit, that one? Again?”

“Yep.”

Ever since I was seven years old, I had had this one dream every now and then. Coincidentally enough, that was also around the same time when my powers first started acting up. A few things would change each time, but the main aspect that always stayed the same was the black-haired girl who showed up in them. She never spoke, and her eyes had always been closed shut, so it was like she was never awake when I had them. I had no idea who this girl was, and why it was her in particular who showed up. I had first originally thought that she was just some random person I’d passed in the street somewhere who my subconscious just conjured up for some reason. But then she became a recurring character in the dreams, and that basically threw my theory right out the window.

My punching became faster and harder. “It’s weird. Over the past several years, I’ve had it on and off. But now…. I don’t know, since last week I’ve been seeing her a lot more often. Like… every few days or so. Is that even normal?”

“Beats me. But you know, I wouldn’t put it past me to believe that it’s somehow magi-related. We did have our first mission last week after all. Maybe that had something to do with it?”

“I have no idea! But just for once, I want to know who that girl even is! I mean she keeps showing up, so she’s got to be important somehow, right? I just need answers already!”

“Yow!” Al dropped the now-burning blocking cushion and reeled back as he clutched his hand. “Jesus Em, watch what you’re doing dammit!”

“Shit!” As soon as I realized what had happened, I dropped to the floor and tried to put the flames out before the fire alarm could go off. “Sorry Al!”

He sighed as he pulled the water out of one of the water bottles sitting on the floor nearby and spread it over the cushion. The flames went out instantly. “It’s fine. Just try to keep your cool though, alright? I know you’re a Tecmentic and all, but come on! That shit’s dangerous!”

“Yeah I know, I’m working on it!” I leaned back and sat down on the gym floor. “But I still don’t even know what it all means. I know Sammie explained it and everything, but I feel like I’m even more confused about it now.”

“Is it the ‘having two aura sources’ thing? Or having Tectonic abilities on top of the Elemental stuff?”

“All of it! Like, how did they even figure out that I was a Tecmentic anyway? What I can do right now isn’t anything different from what other fire users can do, right?”

“Sure, but you can generate your own fire, whereas people like Lex can’t and have to use other means to do so.”

“So is that all there is to it then? I can just automatically make fire by myself? Everyone makes it seem like being a Tecmentic is such a huge deal, but I just don’t see it. What’s so special about being able to make your own fire?”

Al looked deep in thought. Eventually, he shared his thoughts with me. “Maybe it’s something that you have to ease into. Like… as you start to learn more about yourself and the limits of your powers, you’ll find that you’ll be able to do more stuff with it. Things like this always take some time getting used to anyway.”

I groaned, leaning forward so that my elbows were propped up against my knees. “That sounds like a lot of unnecessary work if you ask me.”

“Well no one did say it was going to be easy.” Al sat down opposite me; we were so close, our knees were touching. “But if anyone can get a handle on this, it’s you. So don’t sweat it! And as always,” he slid his hands under mine, “I’ll be right here with you every step of the way. That’s what best friends are for, right?”

No matter what, Al always had me smiling. It was like he did it on pure instinct. “Yeah. Thanks.”

His hands were cool to the touch. They felt really, really nice, especially since mine were always very warm. In fact, my entire body was like that, always had been. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had ever felt legitimately cold. I guessed it just came with the package of being a Tecmentic fire user.

I flipped my hands over so that my palms were touching his, and my fingers closed in around them. “It’s nice that you’ve got so much faith in me! I hope you’re not jealous.”

“Jealous? Jealous of what?”

“It’s like Sammie said! Tecmentics are pretty rare, you know.” My grip on his hands tightened as I pulled him in closer, our noses just barely apart. “And I know you always get excited when I use my powers. Don’t deny it.”

“Sh-shut up!” Al blushed as he averted his eyes from mine. He pulled himself back a bit, putting a slight distance between us. “I will admit, you’ve got a point there. Who wouldn’t be excited about that stuff anyway? But I don’t envy you for having them over me. I’m perfectly okay with what I’ve got now, thank you very much.”

“Really, you’re sure you wouldn’t want them? It could be fun!”

“Mmm I guess I wouldn’t be opposed to it, but… I think I’ll pass. I don’t think fire suits me anyway.”

“Okay then,” I scooted myself closer so that my knees were on top of his. “Here’s a question for you. If you could trade powers with anyone here, who would it be and why?”

“Ohhhhh now there’s a tricky one. There are a lot of pretty cool ones… No wait, what am I even saying? This should be a no-brainer. Will’s, hands down.”

“What? Really?”

“Hell yes. Will’s super endurance is the only one that’s actually practical if you ask me. You don’t even have to do anything really to use it; it’s always activated. And besides, having high endurance would be extremely useful in a fight!”

“Well I guess that’s true.” I tilted my head to the side as I eyed the blocking cushion next to us. “Anyway, wanna train some more now?”

Al looked down at it too and sighed. “Yeah, alright.” We both stood up in-sync. “Just don’t flare up on me again, okay?”

“Sure, sure. I’ll do my best.” I tucked a strand of blue hair back behind my ear as Al picked up the cushion. I readied myself once again, but before I could even punch the thing, I could hear the chorus of “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” coming from my pocket. “Huh? Someone’s calling me?”

I pulled my phone out to see that it was a text, and then almost immediately, Al’s started going off too. I could easily tell thanks to the several loud rounds of “ROW ROW, FIGHT THE POWA” that were very recognizable.

<From: Bro - Get Al & come to Briefing Room 1 ASAP, & be ready to go on a mission. It’s an emergency!>

“Yeah, I’m with her right now. Whoa, just calm the fuck down already! What happened? Yeah yeah alright, we’re on our way. Bye.”

I heard Al put his phone away as I texted Bro back. “That was Cho, said we need to head for the main building right away.”

“Yeah, Bro just texted me about that too.”

“Right. Guess we’d better get going then, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I grabbed the single remaining water bottle off the floor and downed it in one gulp. “It’s sad we didn’t get to train anymore. But if it’s a mission, then it can’t be helped.”

“I’m just wondering what the hell’s going on. Cho was pissed when she called. The last time I heard her that angry was during last week’s mission, and if she’s like that now… This mission must be really important.”

“Well whatever the case, things’ll work out in the end! I’m sure it will.” But even I was curious about it all. Bro had said that it was an emergency. So whatever this mission was, something bad had to have happened.

The two of us left the gym and immediately headed for the main building on base. Luckily enough, the two buildings were only five minutes apart from each other, so it didn’t take long for us to get there. And when we did finally reach the room in question, we found three people in there waiting for us.

“Oh good, you’re here!” Bro sounded relieved at the sight of us, but that didn’t change the fact that he looked very uneasy. The way he was sitting along with the fast drumming of his fingers on his leg implied as much.

“You okay there Bro?”

“I’ll be fine!” He nodded and said all of that a bit too quickly to convince me.

Al meanwhile grabbed his arms and rubbed his hands furiously against them. “Jesus fucking christ it’s cold in here, what the hell?”

“Are you sure? I don’t feel anything.”

“Are you kidding me? It feels like it’s 30 degrees in here!”

“Cho. Calm down. You’ll freeze everyone if you keep this up.”

It was only when Shuuhei spoke that I finally noticed what Bro was so anxious about. Sitting in the corner by the door was Cho, and she looked livid. She sat indian-style on the floor, and her arms were folded so tightly across her chest, it looked as if she might actually tear them off. But it was the look on her face that really startled me. Pursed lips, a permanent frown, and those stormy green eyes; it definitely put me on edge.

She didn’t respond to Shuuhei at all. She just sat there, staring at the opposite wall with a death glare powerful enough to scare anyone. And apparently it was so cold in there that even Bro and Shuuhei were now starting to shiver.

As we moved farther into the room, Al went for Shuuhei and muttered into his ear. “What’s her problem?”

Shuuhei sighed. “It’s complicated. There are a lot of things factoring into it.”

“Like what? The mission?”

Shuuhei hesitated before slowly nodding his head. “That, along with other things that are involved.”

Right on cue, a small gust of wind passed through our group of three. Shortly after that, both Al and Shuuhei huddled in for warmth. I assumed that the room had just gotten even colder, and it was then that I noticed my breath hanging in the air. I moved in closer too and put my arms around the two of them to help try and warm them up.

Bro stayed where he was, but he did eventually stand up and took a step towards Cho. “Come on Cho, please calm down! Everything in the room will start freezing over soon if you don’t stop this!”

He didn’t get an answer, but there was another short wind gust though. And that seemed to make things even colder since Bro now came over to join our group.

Al leaned in even closer so that his head rested against my chest. “Goddamn,” he muttered as his teeth chattered simultaneously. “Shuuhei, do something!”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He left for the other side of the room and knelt down on the floor beside Cho. He gently put a hand onto her shoulder. “Cho. Cho! Listen to me!” He shook her shoulder a bit to try to get her attention. “You need to stop this! If you keep this up, you’ll only end up hurting yourself!”

Nothing happened. Her eyes remained staring at the other wall, unfocused. Shuuhei then moved so that both hands were grasping her shoulders and shook her even more. “Come on Cho, snap out of it!”

“Wha?!” Cho finally snapped back to reality with that one. She looked over at the rest of us before turning back to Shuuhei. “What happened? Did something- oh hell, it’s cold in here!”

“Yeah, no kidding!” Al hissed, his body still leaning against mine. “This was your doing, so fix it already for god’s sake!”

“Oh shit, really?” Almost immediately, the atmosphere within the room lightened considerably, and I assumed the temperature went back up. “Sorry! I zoned out for a while…”

“Augh thank god,” Al sighed with relief as he let go of me. Even Bro looked a lot more relaxed.

Shuuhei took Cho’s hands and helped her up to her feet. “Are you alright?”

Cho’s frown returned, but she looked a lot more calm this time. She folded her arms again as she leaned back against the wall. “I’ll be fine.”

From the way her tone sounded, she sure didn’t seem fine to me. She was anything but fine, but at least she wasn’t freezing up the room again.

“So… is everyone here now?” Bro asked the room. “Al, Sis and I are the only ones you needed to see, right?”

“Yes.” When I got a closer look, Shuuhei didn’t look very happy either.

“So what happened exactly?” I looked between him and Cho before continuing. “Is it that serious?”

The look on Shuuhei’s face was a grim one. “Yeah,” he nodded. “I’ll just cut to the chase this time since we only have a limited amount of time to act here.”

There were plenty of chairs in the room to sit down in, but Bro, Al and I remained standing, which ended up being a good thing in the long run since Shuuhei beckoned us over to him soon enough. “About an hour ago, we received some intel that the Chang-Los are planning to go after the Element Spheres.”

A wave of silence passed between us. I didn’t think any of us were expecting to hear that. Then Bro was the first to speak up. “What are they trying to do? Do they plan to destroy the spheres?”

“Not exactly.” Shuuhei looked between the three of us. “Have any of you heard the myth surrounding the Element Spheres?”

We all shook our heads. “I didn’t think so. Alright then, I’ll make this brief. Legend says that when all five spheres are brought together, they have the power to combine and create a single, more powerful sphere. It goes by the name of the Quintessimal Sphere, and it has the power to control all five elements alone. That is what the Chang-Los are after. Or more specifically, that’s what Heng is after. What he really wants is to create the Quintessimal Sphere.”

Al shifted his footing beside me. “Wait wait, hang on a second. Who the hell is Heng?”

“Heng Chang-Lo,” Cho piped in from her corner. “He’s the leader.”

“Oh. Okay then, never mind.”

“Wait,” I put my hand up slightly. “You said it forms by combining all five spheres. Since the spheres are a magi power source, wouldn’t that have an effect on any Elemental mages?”

“You’d think that, but no. According to our intel, Heng thinks he’ll be able to wipe out all Elementals if he creates and uses the combined sphere, but that won’t be the case. The Element Spheres will only have been combined, not destroyed, so it shouldn’t have any negative effects on Elemental mages whatsoever.”

“Oh, well that’s good!”

“However, we’ll have a different problem on our hands. The Quintessimal Sphere’s power is so great, it’s near impossible to control it. And as such, it will most definitely cause a chain reaction and destroy everything in a very wide radius. If Heng does succeed in creating it, a lot of people are going to die.”

Al’s face went dark. “... This has happened before, hasn’t it?”

The look on Shuuhei’s face said it all, despite the blindfold. “Unfortunately, yes. The last successful attempt occurred several centuries ago. There aren’t many known details about it, but it’s been stated that the damage caused by the Quintessimal Sphere was massive enough to wipe out entire civilizations.”

“Successful attempt? You say that as if there’ve been multiple attempts since then.”

“That’s because there have been.” Shuuhei glanced over at Cho before continuing. “The last attempt happened back in 2005 in Japan, and ETMA was one of the groups in charge of handling the situation.”

“Oh that’s right,” Bro mused. “I always keep forgetting that there are other mage organizations besides ETMA.”

“Right, well ETMA is certainly by far one of the largest, so it can be easy to overlook. Anyway, though we were able to stop the last attempt from succeeding, we can’t afford to rest easy. We’ll have to act fast if we’re to put an end to Heng’s plans.”

“So what are we going to do then?” I asked as I folded my arms. “If he’s going after the spheres, we’ll have to beat him to it, right?”

“Yes, retrieving the Element Spheres will be one of our top priorities, that’s for sure. But the spheres themselves aren’t the main concern.”

“How so?” Al narrowed his eyes at Shuuhei. “I mean, if the Quintessti- no… the Quinessi- ah fuck. You know, the thing- gets formed by all five spheres combined, then…”

“Well, no matter what Heng does, it won’t be that easy. First of all, the specific locations of each sphere are all heavily guarded and can only be accessed by a mage. And even if Melisma can help him with that, there won’t really be that much danger by bringing all five of them together.”

“Okay, now I’m even more confused.”

“What I’m saying is that just bringing all five Element Spheres together in the same vicinity won’t cause the Quintessimal Sphere to form. By themselves, they won’t do a thing at all. In order for the spheres to combine into the Quintessimal Sphere, another key element has to come into play first.”

“And what’s that?”

Shuuhei digged through one of the file folders on the table in front of us and pulled out a single sheet of paper, handing it to me for us to look at. “This right here.”

It was a picture of a… well, a rock basically. From the looks of it, it was very small, and it was colored black and white, like the colors were split straight down the middle to look like one half was black, the other white. Judging by the picture itself, it didn’t look so harmless to me.

I skeptically looked up at Shuuhei. “This is the picture you wanted to show us, right?”

“Yep,” he nodded.

“It’s a marble.”

“Yeah, I know, but don’t underestimate its appearance. This thing is deadly.”

“Okay, no, I’m with Em on this one,” Al placed his hand on my shoulder. “How is a freaking marble deadly to us?”

“Alright, let me explain. Looks can be deceiving. That right there is essentially the core of the Quintessimal Sphere.”

Bro gulped. “Th-the core?”

“Uh huh, right. As I said earlier, the spheres by themselves won’t combine. If they’re just left alone, then nothing will happen. However, if this ‘marble’, as you guys call it, comes into the picture and makes contact, the spheres will supposedly get drawn to it like a magnet. And then… Well, you all know what will happen next.”

I set the picture down onto the table. “Okay! So the bottom line is that the marble is 500 miles of bad road. What’s our plan then? I’m assuming we’re going to have to go and find that too?”

“Exactly. While the other teams are going to be sent to each sphere location to retrieve the Element Spheres, I’ll want you guys to go after the marble. With me so far?”

We all nodded, though I was still curious about one thing. “But why us in particular?”

“Because I’ve worked with ya before, and we work well together.” It was Cho who answered us. She straightened up and finally left her corner to join us around the table. “Also, Will’s super endurance’ll be pretty damn useful for this mission, so there’s that.”

“Cho is going to be leading the mission, in case you were wondering.”

“Ah, okay then. Gotcha. So do we know where to find the thing anyway?”

“That we do.” Shuuhei brought out another file folder and pulled out two printouts. “Going back to our intel. Each source has a different story to tell, but the fact remains that Melisma is most definitely involved with this one. One source says that Melisma is in charge of locating the marble and that they’ve pinpointed the location to Greece. The second source goes further to say that they actually found it.”

Al placed his palm onto the table. “So what you’re saying is that we’re basically going to be raiding a Melisma base then? All to find the yin-yang marble?”

“You got it.” Cho replied with a quick nod. “We go in, find the damn thing, and come back here with it. And of course, we’ll have to be on the lookout for Melisma agents at every nook and cranny, but no pressure! We’ve got this in the bag!”

Even though she did sound optimistic enough about it, Cho still seemed pretty distant. She looked a lot more calm than when Al and I first got there, but I knew those pent-up feelings were definitely not gone yet. She was keeping something bottled up, but I couldn’t question that at the time. We had a mission to complete after all, and I’d have to put that as my top priority for the time being.

“Well, if there aren’t any more questions, then I’ll go ahead and send you on your way,” Shuuhei said with a smile. “Does anyone feel the need for a rousing motivational speech right now?”

“No no, we’re all good. Save it for later dude.” Cho side-waved him as she lead the way out the door. “We’ll be back later!”

“Alright then, good luck!”

I was the last one out. As soon as I took one step out of the room, a wave of heavy pressure jabbed at my backside. It was startling, but also felt kind of familiar, and I came to the conclusion that it was, without a doubt, someone’s aura. And not just anyone’s aura.

He may have kept his emotions at bay during the briefing, but one thing was for sure: his aura felt at least ten times stronger, and much more threatening, than Cho’s ever did.

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alright guys, PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK! I’M BEGGING YOUUUUU!!!

#my story #my ocs #my emma parker #my ls ch2 #now we're getting down into some more serious stuff here #this kickstarts the first major conflict in the plot #enjoy guys!

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sky-scribbles · 7 years ago

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I loooooove your Marokhai + Kaliyo fic 😍 Honestly it's the perfect dynamic for a LS!agent and everyone's favorite disaster bi anarchist. The accidental self-awareness, the totally unintentional familiarity, the subtle bitterness and tragedy that lurks in the background of every Agent's story... It's probably a bit sadistic of me to even say this but I really wonder who he becomes after IA Ch2 chews him up and spits him out.

:D I honestly can’t tell you how happy thismade me, I saw it just before sitting down to tackle my mountain of essays andit’s been making me smile whenever I’ve thought about it for a couple of days (whichI very sorely needed.) I’m so, so happy you liked the fic and their dynamicbecause… idk, I have Many Feelings about these two polar opposites who no one(including themselves, and me) ever expected to complement each other sowell.

And ooh boy, that’s a question I am soup for answering. *cracks knuckles* This is… going to be long, becauseKhai is complicated and the agent storyline makes me emotional. (OK, it turnedout over a thousand words. I can offer no excuse for this. TW: Mentions of abuse, anxiety.)

Pre-ch2 Marokhai is… not in a bad place. He’sstill recovering from his mother’s neglect and abuse in his childhood, but he’smoving forward. He’s almost completely cut her out of his life, and while henever expected to find a new family in a Rattataki mercenary and a Killikjoiner, that’s where he’s ended up. His little sister’s back from the dead andis making herself a life in the Sith. He’s getting better at finding creativesolutions to those Big Moral Choices, solutions that allow him to follow hisdangerously large conscience without harming the Empire.

Who knows what might have happened, if the StarCabal and the Castellan Restraints had just never been a thing? Maybe he’d havespent the rest of his life like that. Content to serve his Empire and neverquestion deeper. He could have stayed a polite, organised, loyal agent whonever doubted his leaders, or what he’d been told about them, or what they’dtold him about his enemy. Maybe he could eventually have retired somewhere niceand written poetry. It’s not likely, but it could have been.

But Chapter 2 did happen. And the man Khaibecomes is… different. Different to who he was, and different to who he mighthave become.

He was starting to feel, for the first timeever, that he was in control of his own life. And then that gets taken from himin the most complete and horrific way, and he couldn’t possibly have come outof that without scars. He develops rather severe insomnia (because how can hesleep, with that inside his brain?)and begins having anxiety attacks whenever he’s brought into a situation wheresomeone might give him an order. Even leaders he respects, and even after theconstraints are out of his mind – because what if they’re still lurking,somewhere? What if the balance of his mind snaps and suddenly, he can’t refuse?

And the part of him that believed in his leadershipis gone. They used him, just as much asthe Republic used him, and that kills himbecause Khai – I think with some wilful ignorance – genuinely lovedIntelligence. Thanks to his mother, he’d grown up thinking that because hecouldn’t be Sith, he was worthless, and then Intelligence saw worth in him. Hewas a scared kid with no decent authority figures, and they were the people helatched on to.

I think from the moment he finds out their rolein his brainwashing, the man who could have served happily forever is dead. Ithink the man who could ever serve anyoneforever is dead. Marokhai used to be someone who could throw himselfwholeheartedly behind a banner, and get so much self-worth and contentment fromserving it, and that… that’s never going to be something he can do again.

And then there’s smaller things, little thingsthat others might not notice, but that mean a lot to him. He was just startingto loosen up and let himself have more than a single drink when he and Kaliyoseek out a cantina at the end of a mission. Never again. He’s not lettinganything damp his control of his own body. Going undercover, putting on a falsename and a false life - that used to be second nature, even a thrill. Now it’s a struggle, everymoment. He hates being separated from his own identity, even by his own choice.

But he survives. And that complete shatteringof belief and trust means he can finally look back at his life and realise, they’ve always controlled me. He canlook at the Empire and see the mountain of things that are wrong with itsleadership. And after a great many sleepless nights, wondering who this meanshe’s loyal to now, he’s able to work out that it’s the Empire’s people. Thepeople who didn’t ask to have these leaders and deserve better.

And that makes him start to demand better. Thatmakes him stand between Lord Razer and Kaliyo and blurt out you have no right to take her – even ifhe gets a lightsabre wound to the forehead for his trouble and has to watch herbeing dragged away anyway.

It makes him lie to the Sith who come tocollect the Black Codex, and take it for himself, and set out into the galaxyto protect the Empire on his terms. No more orders. No more control. Neveragain.

It makes him look Darth Marr in the eye whenhe’s recruited for Makeb and tell him, ifyou’re making me come back, then understand this: I will do this my own way,and my way is seldom the way a Sith would do it. If you won’t accept that, findsomeone else. He’s done putting his morals aside for these people. It even makeshim finally stand up to his mother, when she comes back into his life under…strained circumstances (which I may one day write.)

Before Chapter 2, Khai could, hypothetically, havesettled down and lived like ordinary citizens do. I don’t think he ever couldnow.

But now the Empire has a five-foot-threeguardian angel who goes to Makeb because he trusts no one else to do right byits people. Who never makes a killing blow if there’s a better option, becausehe’s determined to be more than a weapon. He goes home to his ship at the endof each day and thinks something he never could before: I’ve done everything I could to be the person I want to be.

And he, somehow, impossibly, has a wife.Because just sometimes, your friends-with-benefits arrangement with the personwho knows you better than anyone and who reminds you every day just by being there that it’s possible to livecompletely free, uncontrolled and undefined – sometimes, that arrangement cangrow into feelings. And there’s joy like you’ve never known in saying misgivings be damned, in deciding toenjoy it while it lasts, and finding that maybe it will last.

And Kaliyo won’t admit it, but she sees it whensomeone snaps an order at him and his body goes still and the panic flares inhis eyes. There’s a reason she’ll step forward, making sure she’s standing alittle in front of him, and make some snarky comment that always contains the wordswe don’t have to listen to you. Andshe definitely won’t admit thatshe’ll hold him at night, when he needs it. She’s not going to be able to makeall that shit go away, she knows that, but… this is what they do, right? They watcheach other’s backs.

So, yes. He’s different. Bruised and scarredand haunted in ways that will never really heal. But he’s uncontrolled, and notalone. And he knows who he is now, because he’s finally chosen who he is – and he likes his choices.

And as far as he’s concerned, that – and a nicestack of poetry collections, and a chance to go nature-watching every so often– is all he really needs.

#swtor #imperial agent #thank you again for this :)#agent x kaliyo #tw: mentions of abuse #tw: anxiety #oc: marokhai vamor

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