#my personal favorite pre-crybaby song of hers

[ukulelekatie]

Hello hello hello I’m right here with another concert recap, this time for Tegan and Sara on October 28 2022 at Royale in Boston! This was one of my absolute favorite shows I’ve ever been to, I literally cannot stop smiling thinking about it

Okay first of all HOLY FUCKING SHIT. This was my 6th time seeing Tegan and Sara, but the first time I’ve gone for the VIP package which was so cool and so worth it

The way they’re doing VIP for this tour is that you get to go to a Q&A and a little pre-show acoustic performance which I love so much better than a meet & greet where you wait in line to see them for like 30 seconds

For the VIP setlist they did Call It Off (yes I started crying instantly), Alligator, and This Ain’t Going Well, the last of which apparently wasn’t planned and Tegan straight up said “I don’t know this part” mid-song lmao. I love her, queen of forgetting her own lyrics.

I lucked out and ended up being the 9th person to show up to the VIP line, which means I was able to get a really great spot at the barricade for both the VIP event and the main show right in front of Sara.

They made us leave the venue in between so the opener could do their sound check, but had us line back up in the order of the numbers on our badges which I really appreciated because oh boy I had to pee SO badly and was worried about losing my spot (also it was kinda fun to get to cut in line not gonna lie I felt very powerful)

Tomberlin was the opener and they were great!! I’ve heard a few of their songs before, definitely gonna check out more of their music now.

As always, fucking fantastic performance from Tegan and Sara. They truly do get better with age.

They’re so easygoing on stage and know how to connect with their audience. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen them so many times before but I don’t really get that “omg you’re real humans and you’re standing in the same place as me” when I’m at their shows anymore, it just feels like we’re all hanging out as friends.

THE BANTER. My absolute favorite part of Tegan and Sara shows is that they’re not just concerts, they’re a musical performance with a side of standup comedy. Sara especially had some hysterical stories to tell (I was losing it at the martini costume story)

Like I predicted, there was more fluidity between them, similar to their 2019 book tour! Tegan sang lead on I Bet It Stung and How Come You Don’t Want Me which are two of Sara’s songs, and they switched off singing verses for a few tracks

They also changed up the arrangements for a few of the songs which was super cool, I love when they take their old stuff and make it more cohesive with their new stuff. The Con and Living Room are two songs where I have consistently liked the live versions more than the album recordings

There was an excellent balance of their old and new tracks. When you’ve been around for so long I bet it’s hard narrowing down a setlist to a 90 minute show

I cried once again when they played Nineteen. I don’t think I’ve ever not cried to a live performance of that song. I dunno it makes me so emotional thinking about the person I was at 19 and how different I was back then but we both still love this band with all our heart

The venue is a club and it was all decorated for Halloween including some giant inflatable ghosts in the back, which made Walking With A Ghost hilarious. Another great thing about the venue being a club is that it was an earlier show time to accommodate the club guests. I was at Metric’s show earlier this week and if I’ve learned anything it’s that I’m getting too old to be staying out past midnight for shows lmao

I have so much merch now, I got the VIP merch package and then at the end of the show I decided on a whim to buy a Crybaby hat. I never used to be a hat person but there’s something about band hats that have just hit different for me lately.

Photo time!!

[Image description: A photo of Tegan and Sara performing on stage. They are both singing and playing guitars. The stage is decorated with neon signs shaped like ice cream cones.]

(This quite possibly my favorite photo I have ever taken, I will be posting this everywhere I’m not sorry if you follow me on multiple platforms)

[bisexualmothman-br]

Would you look at that, time for another personal top 10, today being for the 2022 contest.

Disclaimer: As i share my takes on my top 10s it should be obvious i only rank years based on the studio version of the entries (it's always the version i listen to everyday, rarely will the live performance of a song affect its placing to me).

10th 🇲🇪 Vladana - Breathe: Georgia 2023 took notes from this one, but damn did Montenegro return for a one-time bop and immediately withdraw again. Lyrics are simple so they're fun to sing along to, but girl really got herself an english dictionary (the italian bridge and chorus on the live was unnecessary but that's irrelevant for now).

9th 🇨🇭 Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry: Listen listen, i have a soft spot in my heart for calm male swiss ballads (Watergun is my 12th this year and the 2020 and 2021 top 10s will let you know my opinion on Gjon wink wink), and as much as Marius is unlikeable, i can't deny his entry fits that model and i love its message.

8th 🇦🇱 Ronela Hajati - Sekret: I have to admit 2022 was my 2nd time following a contest and with Albania revealing their entry that early i kinda have a soft spot for Sekret. It is a banger (pre-revamp, as i almost always rank albanian entries) and definitely a girlbop. Ronela our sammarinese albanian crybaby, please change your ways, i love your entry.

7th 🇱🇻 Citi Zēni - Eat Your Salad: I used to hate that song but then the more i listened the more i got its hype, i love Latvia's 2016-2023 streak so far and, as much as i wasnt expecting a qualification, it kinda stung a bit not seeing it go to the final.

6th 🇵🇹 Maro - Saudade, Saudade: We stan a portuguese sadgirl, and even the english parts were great, just overall a very good chill entry with portuguese bias added of course.

5th 🇷🇸 Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano: biti zdrava, biti zdrava, biti zdrava, biti biti biti biti zdrava, biti zdrava, biti zdrava, može može može

4th 🇲🇰 Andrea - Circles: Underrated entry alert, this definitely deserved to qualify, her voice is so strong and her song is so catchy, girl tested her limits but europe didn't listen.

3rd 🇫🇷 Alvan & Ahez - Fulenn: Diwanit Bugale pales in comparison to this, the studio version is so good and breton is such an interesting language (god help anyone who wants to learn any celtic language). Too bad the live was so jarring, that entry had so much potential but now France may be reluctant on sending more entries in languages like breton or corsican after seeing the result (even though it is such a banger).

2nd 🇱🇹 Monika Liu - Sentimentai: Lithuania and Slovenia are the only countries i didn't change at all in my first and latest 2022 rankings (Austria went from 3rd to 21st lmao) and deservedly so, i'm a sucker for the more unused languages in ESC (please Azerbaijan, send azeri already) and lithuanian was certainly top of the list to do a comeback. Sentimentai is such a classy entry and Monika is hella charismatic, 13th in the final is good by Lithuania's standards but cmon, we all know this should've been their new best result, they need a better "best result".

1st 🇸🇮 LPS - Disko: Already expressed my love for this entry on my blog but long story short THAT'S MY FAVORITE ESC ENTRY EVER I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT AND WHY THE FUCK DID IT GET LAST I LITERALLY CANT SEE WHAT WAS SO WRONG ABOUT IT TO DO WORSE THAN PIA MARIA'S VOCAL "PERFORMANCE". Cahem, yeah, we stan those boys.

[jobanana7]

the sweetest treat

to Rachel AKA @mega-aulover thanks! hope yall like 

“Why can’t Miguel sing? What’s wrong with music?,” My husband asks as we watch Coco the Disney movie, my sister Prim begged me to see. She fell in love with this movie after taking her pre-k class to see it. But because I’m not big on cartoons, I’m making Peeta watch it with me. I’ve come down with the flu and have not been myself in the last couple weeks so he wanted to take care of me.

But as I watch the movie and poor Miguel, the lead boy on the movie, is told not to play music, all I can focus on, all I can  see all of the food, but it’s not until Miguel passes by a little boy with an elote that yummy golden delicious corn, that I used to eat back home, that my mouth literally stars to water. Living in L.A we have eloteros, men in a trolley who sell corn and all the food  I grew up with in Mexico, so I’ve never felt like I’m too far from home.After Papa moved us here, to California, when I was 11, I still have a pretty good memory of Mexico city. My sister Prim, though, was only 7 so her memory is a little more blurred, but this goddamn movie is taking me right back to that, and I want that elote so bad! I pause the movie.

“Can we get elotes? Please!” I begg and my Güero, as I sometimes call my husband, who bless his soul, after 3 years of marriage and 1 year of dating, I still can’t get over how after one date, he began taking classes in Spanish.  One day when we’d moved in together he just started speaking Spanish, better that I did! It was honestly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.

He replies in spanish, “Can you eat that? You haven’t been feeling that well?”

And at that, his question, right there, for some unknown reason, is enough to get me from one to ten real fast. I frown up at him from my spot on the couch

“You know what?” My head snaps, I stare at him and narrow my eyes at him, “I don’t think I ask for a lot.! I really don’t,” I’m fuming, furious, and I can’t stop myself at this point. “Maybe sometimes, but I’m hungry for something more than soups and veggies, and…and corn is a veggie, and I want all that great stuff on it, I want the cream and that cheese! And I don’t need you to judge me!!” I rant and immediately stand up and storm to the bathroom because the tears that are coming are so stupid and fat. I lock myself in there.

“What the fuck just happened?” I say out loud wiping the tears from my face.

I hear when the front door of our apartament slams shut, and that just makes me more upset, because that’s just so him, to give me my space when I need. He even asks for forgiveness when he does nothing wrong. He’s just so nice, and I’m so nasty and vile, especially lately.

Something is wrong with me. I don’t know what to do about it. I stay there in the bathroom a little while longer, and I argue with myself, I can’t stay here forever, I’m still hungry!

I think of what to do, and I call the one person who would help me.

“¿Abuelita? ¿Cómo está usted?” I ask my grandma Sae.

“Niña linda,” she says to me and her voice is enough to calm down my nerves. We have  an easy conversation, and there are only other people, I can do this with, my Papa, Prim, and my Güero.

My grandmother, wise intuitive woman that she is notices something in my voice and ask what’s wrong, and I tell her everything. She goes quiet for a little, and asks again how long have I been feeling ill, and thinking nothing of it that maybe is her age, I tell her. Then she asks the one question you never wanna have to answer to your grandma. I question how I didn’t think of my menstruation, and it hits me, that I might be pregnant, when I tell her that it’s been a little over a-month-and-half that I haven’t gotten my period.  Honestly, I’ve been preoccupied with work and life to realize it, but everything  makes sense, the moddines, the tender breast, the queasiness, all of it!

OH SHIT!

I bolt out the apartment  to the drugstore to get some tests  to make it official.  I try not to freak out, as I make my way back home because holly crap, I might be, damn it.. pregnant! I never miss my period! I’m always consistent.Now I might be having a baby, a child the one thing I didn’t need.  

I’ve alway said that I didn’t want children, and it’s not that I don’t like them. I work as a Park Ranger, at one of the National  Parks near our apartment, and some of my favorite memories are children enjoying the grounds and discovering that there is  more to life than what they see on the internet. I love their amazement  when they are surrounded by nature..  But those little spurts in time,  is a far cry from having to take care of my own, on a twenty-four-seven bases, and not have to worry about messing it’s life up or make it hate me or whatnot .

So I guess it’s more fear, than anything, holding me back from having children. Peeta has been amazing, with putting up with my shit on this and I see it every day at the gallery how patient he is with them, a hair ruffle here, and a good nature sarcastic comment when he deals with teenagers, making them laugh when they’re upset or mess up, but that’s never been me, I can’t deal with the tantrums and the tears, oh and the crying! Oh the crying!

¡Tu puedes con esto, deja de chillar!  I have to stop being a crybaby. It looks like I’m gonna have to get over myself  and soon because this little one is coming,  even though I’ve spent my entire life convincing myself that I just didn’t need a child in my life.

As I walk there are kids everywhere like the universe is telling me something. In the past twenty minutes since talking to my grandma the idea of a child suddenly isn’t so so scary, after all. And as I walk back home I stop at the park and sit at a bench. I take one of the tests from the bag, I read it carefully. It says that I have to see a plus sign, and that’s all it would take to know, if I’m with child. That’s not so scary… I tell myself I can do that, then I see a mother with a toddler in a park and the little girl is laughing and a smile grows on my face. I see another woman playing ball with her child…I think I can do that. It hits me, that I can totally do that!

An hour later I’m coming back home with three different pregnancy test, the kids, the women in the park, still on my mind, and I hear my husband’s voice on the phone.

“Well if you see her, call me please,” he says.

“Peeta? Who are you talking to?” I ask from the from the door and I here his loud footsteps.

“Where the hell have you been?!, I come home and you’re…just…gone?” He grumbles at me, the blue in his eyes almost back and his hair a mess.  Peeta is mad and I’ve never been more attracted to him that I am right now because this is not my husband. This side of him is so rare that is almost refreshing when it comes out.   “I went out to get you your freaking corn, to let you calm down, and and you disappear on me!“

My nose smells the sweet aroma of the corn and my  eyes fall on my food and I throw the bag where the test are, at his chest.

“MY ELOTE!!!!” I scream pushing him to the side, and loading up my corn just the way I like it. The moment my teeth meet the delicious crunch of the sweet kernels and I taste the buttery flavor,  I wanna cry, it’s so yummy!

“Ooooommmm, Kay , what is this?” Peeta asks as he takes out one of the tests.

Oh right! The test, I play coy “I’m eating here,” I say with a mouthful, but the butterflies in my stomach have me smiling into his hopeful eyes.

He stutters, “Kay, are you ….are we?”  

“I don’t know yet, but can I eat first…please, thank you” I take another bite, of the corn and I hold myself from doing a little dance as the juices of the elote, are running down my chin, and I’m a mess, but at this moment, his eyes are like looking at me, as if I was the Mona Lisa.

“Sure,” Peeta says pulling up a chair for me, and I think, this is what he’s going to be like. Sweet, kind, gentle, a great dad and I can’t wait to see it .

After I’ve eaten and my tummy is content, and I’ve drank a lot of water. I take the test and we wait for the three minutes the instructions suggest. When we see it, the pink plus sign that tells us that we are with child.  My vision is blurry because of the tears. Peeta picks me up in his strong arms and brings me to the sofa, where we cling to one another.  

We watch what’s left of the movie, and at the end we as the credits roll  we lay on our couch, our hands twined together on my tummy. he song plays and I cry again, damn hormones and vow I’ll remember this day for all of my days and I lick my lips as I remember, I still get to eat more elotes tonight.