#names were not named for a reason btw

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

The update nobody likes seeing: I Think I'm Taking A Break.

"Fandom is a community" they said.

Funny - I've possibly never felt more alone.

Never felt so isolated and overlooked in favor of the familiar, the "famous", the friendly and out-going. Maybe it's all just the Seasonal Affective Disorder talking, and this is all momentary, but right now, it doesn't feel that way.

It sure doesn't feel momentary between how low my interactions have been on writing that I have put so much fucking effort into.

The community I foolishly thought I was a part of only ever seems to stick to reading their same circle of friends, endlessly, forever. Rarely ever do I see someone else gets given a chance outside of the friend group. And that's an "if" on if they reblog something a friend didn't write...

"Reblogging is important for everyone!! If you like a fic reblog it! Everyone in this community is equally important and valued."

Fucking is it? Am I?

Is it important for EVERYONE in this community, or it just applicable to your friends? Is it only your friends who get your reblogs, and your comments, and your reaction memes, and whatever else? Is it only your friends who are worthy of your time for a simple reply when it comes to thanking ""everyone"" who left you a comment?

If everyone is as valuable to this community as you claim... why aren't you acting a little more like it?

Why are there people like me who feel like they have to resort to "Put Yourself Out There!" type of posts in order to get absolutely pitiable levels of acknowledgement in return for time and energy that only ends up being a waste?

A waste of the organizer's time, and a waste of the participants' time.

Some sweet soul (and god fucking bless them) sent in my Last of the Pack artwork in for a previous Fandom Friday some time back and the interactions barely budged. I think I only ever got 2 additional notes from the recommendation...

I signed up for a follower appreciation event where people were supposed to submit their masterlists, and the participants were supposed to pick two (at minimum) items out of their assigned masterlist to react to/comment on in their reblog of either the work of fiction or piece of art...

... And I haven't seen a single reblog out of it from whoever was assigned to me (yet, I believe there's still time within the event deadline, to be fair).

Thing is: I don't know that I'm gonna be postponing this inevitable hiatus I feel I need to take in order to see those for much longer.

I'm probably going to stick around just long enough to post a Fives x Reader that an anon requested from me, and then I'm going to bounce. I don't know for how long. So that means I don't know when "Deep Night" to Poets and Painters will end up being posted.

That means I don't know when anything will be posted again.

But I think I need to perform a serious evaluation of the effort I'm expending for the turn out of any type of interaction I'm getting in return while lowering my expectations AGAIN before I come back to my sideblog.