#natsumi kei you're killing me

[drizzileiscool]

keroro movie 1 review

6/10

it's a sgt frog movie, as advertised

short, spoiler free review: just another power of friendship type movie. i do not like the whole power of friendship trope

spoiler filled review:

subtitles and other stuff

i get that this isn't a fansub like the rest of the anime, but the subtitles give off netflix vibes. that's a bad thing. i would at least like to be able to read anything

mois's name was changed to moa, lavie is now rabi.

plot

keroro and fuyuki go buy a gundam model together, suddenly they find a weird shrine and it has a portal in it. keroro tries to make an offering of 100 yen but it falls through the portal so they go through and accidentally break some crystal that guards an ancient super weapon. for some reason everyone has x's on their faces and can do telepathy now. at first the telepathy is cool and everyone is doing it. there's even a koyunatsu scene where natsumi does the telepathy thing with koyuki and asks what she likes and koyuki responds with "natsumi". it's followed up with a natsugiro scene with the exact same thing and I don't like that because natsugiro makes me uncomfortable.

the next day the telepathy only starts working on negative thoughts so everyone is much less happy and more depressed. a new keronian called mirara comes in and explains the situation. the super weapon, now known as kilulu, will destroy earth because everyone's telepathy stuff gives off negative energy because they're depressed. mirara is all like "you're all doomed and also you can't save the world because humans and keronians can't live together because keronians are aliens so you can't get along" to which fuyuki responds with "actually me and sarge are besties so yes we can".

uhhh. more stuff happens that I can't be bothered to write, mirara tells them that she knows how to deal with kilulu, fuyuki and keroro's x's are gone and replaced with o's, mirara turns into a key, and a really long scene where they try to get mirara (now a key) into this large space ship thing to stop kilulu. saburo is here and has an important role for once instead of being a joke character that natsumi is in love with. natsumi uses her ultimate warrior super hero weapon outfit thing we saw several episodes ago in season 1 and then never again so it's cool that they brought it back.

another natsugiro scene that I hate happens but that's over quickly and we cut to fuyuki and keroro in the ship trying to get key mirara to the thing. we get a scene where they're all friendship and stuff and fuyuki's like "we're gonna buy gundam models. Together." they get the key into the thing and everything is done woohoo movie's over yippee the end. but their house is completely destroyed from everything so keroro's still in trouble. the end for real this time

art stuff

it's nearly identical to the original, but now in 1080p. that's cool I guess but it doesn't really.. fit.. if that makes sense. I mean I'll probably have to get used to it by the time the new keroro anime comes out but I don't wannaaaa.

final thoughts:

6/10

as stated before, I do not like the power of friendship trope. i get that it's a movie aimed at children and they can't have scenes that are too emotional but pokemon has ash fucking die in the first movie. and then he died again in another movie I think. why can't this movie kill off someone and bring them back. kill off dororo so the platoon realizes "oh shit, dororo exists. we kinda need him" and bring him back for a scene where everyone is crying over his death only to realize his death was faked. or something like that

this movie is exactly what you'd expect from a sgt frog movie.

[sg2tiger]

Hey Gaap do you not know the meaning of dramatic tension

[reddpenn]

MOB PRINCESS KAEDE THATS INCREDIBLE APDKSNDJBSH. how's her piano career going in the real world? how'd she get started playing?

Kaede’s piano career is going great! Of course, it helps that the Kuzuryu Clan has taken an interest in the cultural and musical enrichment of the community, and makes sure those concert halls are always sold out.

Kaede stuff below the cut!

The Kuzuryus are the kind of wealthy people who keep a big, expensive piano in their house as a status symbol. When Kaede was still so small that she couldn’t reach the keys and the pedals at the same time, it was a marvelous toy, and she’d spend hours just playing around with it, teaching herself how to play. Eventually her parents took notice that not only was she obsessively interested in it, she also had some legit talent. Fuyuhiko in particular was eager to support her, buying her expensive tutors and getting her involved in recitals and competitions.

Kaede is the baby of the family, a total doted on daddy’s girl, and Fuyuhiko will give her anything she asks for. But she was able to pursue her own interests and focus on her piano career mainly because it was her twin sister Natsumi who was expected to one day take over the Kuzuryu Clan.

In reality, Kaede was the younger twin, and Natsumi the older. As much as Kaede was doted on, Natsumi was raised strictly with lots of pressure to succeed. Natsumi always understood that the perfection expected of her was for her own safety and success. Any woman leading a yakuza clan would need to be the epitome of perfection, never showing weakness.

All the same, she resented her younger twin’s carefree life and optimistic attitude, the way she was always praised and how nothing was ever expected of her. It twisted the knife further whenever Kaede’s bad grades were brushed aside, or when she forgot to come to kendo practice because she’d spent all day playing the piano.

“You’re going to have to face the real world someday, piano freak,” she’d try to force through Kaede’s head. “Someday you’ll find yourself in a situation where it’s kill or be killed, and mommy and daddy won’t be there to save your ass. And you’re not gonna have the guts to do what needs to be done.”

“That’ll never happen to me. I just play piano, I’m not going to have a dangerous life like you!”

“Of course it’ll happen to you. You’re a Kuzuryu, there’s always gonna be a target on your back.”

“Well, yeah, but I’m always gonna have my sister to protect me, right?”

“Ugh, don’t say sappy stuff like that! This world is rotten, you can’t count on anybody. Everybody lets you down in the end. The only one you can count on to always be there to save you is yourself. Promise me this, piano freak. If it's ever kill or be killed, do the family justice and make sure you're the one doing the killing.”

When Team Danganronpa pulled up in their van and dragged Kaede off the street, they probably meant to go for both twins. Their initial plan hadn’t factored in Keebo, so Natsumi would have made sixteen. But Natsumi found herself running away to safety while Kaede screamed and flailed. After all, she had the guts to sacrifice her sister to save herself, like a real yakuza. They were probably just taking daddy’s little princess away as a hostage or blackmail or something; the Kuzuryu Clan would deal with it and she’d be back by the end of the week.

Natsumi would lie awake in bed at night for weeks afterwards, staring at the ceiling, Kaede’s betrayed expression burned into her eyes. She’d done the right thing. This wasn’t her fault. Surely Kaede hadn’t been dragged away to die in a killing game because some part of Natsumi had secretly wished it. The world didn’t work like that.

Right?

[eizneckam]

Part 2: Rosa be like *Wack*

- hmmm. I feel...like...I need to tread carefully here but...Maria WOULD be a VERY difficult child to deal with in real life. I've known kids like her - stubborn, manic, overly childish, prone to throwing tantrums when they don't get their way - it's hard to deal with, and there's very few people, let alone parents, who know how to handle these types of kids. OBVIOUSLY that DOESN'T JUSTIFY Rosa slapping her child around like a piñata. SERIOUSLY WOMAN. But...I don't know. It's hard to deal with people in real life. Yet another detail that Umineko gets right - it's hard to deal with other people, adult or child. Most people can't handle it. Rosa certainly can't.

- this is the woman you stan everybody

- okay but this is really over the top horrible. I mean you're already hitting your kid but nah that's not enough. this bitch just sent her only child SPINNING through the air like a God damn child abuse merry-go-round. JESUS.

- Conclusion: please stop stanning rosa this has been a psa

Yasu, who just straight up met with Maria: "hmmm gee where tf is she? she not here? weird... :thinking:"

- also: MORE BAD PARENTING. NONE of you thought to fucking CHECK where the NINE YEAR OLD went? During a STORM?Rosa you used your super fatality slap attack on your kid and then just LEFT?!?!??! HELLO?!?!?!?!?!

- This is first on the series of "Nothing to see here, just Kei Natsumi's GODLIKE artwork"

- I know it's supposed to be suuuuuuper serious but I can't stop cracking up at the siblings' shared expression in the first panel.

- pov: you are a babby and you just pulled out a letter with the patriarch's seal on it

- mmm the siblings are greedy bastards sometimes but... Jooji does have a point (it's just not, like, applicable in this particular instance). Wanting money isn't always the greedy corporate desire kind that people portray it as; people need to support their families and other people that depend on them.

... Of course, Battler also has a point: sometimes people's naked greed is just so openly displayed it's disgusting.

- Short answer: No

(can't believe it took six fucking episodes to answer this question)

- no wonder yasu always kills kyrie first, she's too dangerous to be left alive

not only is she smart, probably the smartest parent on the island, she's one of the only ones whose head isn't so far up her own ass she could never see daylight. I mean, the murders haven't even occurred yet and she's halfway on her way to solving the mystery!!! (Coincidentally, the fourth episode, where Kyrie and Yasu collaborate ends up almost going very badly for Yasu.)

- I couldn't bring myself to hate Rudolf in the first six episodes, honestly. Moments like this where it's clear he cares about his family more than he says really endeared him to me as one of the more subtly complex characters among the cast.

... And then, you know, Episode 7 fucking happened. Thanks, Bern.

"I'll go check if Kanon is on duty" oh yasu you sneaky little murderer you

Tune in next time for Part 3: People Are Dying and It's About Fucking Time