#never gonna leave my head for longass time lol

[gucci-depressione]

Like just. Holy fuckin shit wow. Everything in the last episode was everything I ever wanted and more.

Like omg husker and angel are growing closer and like can't wait for them to become cannon

Also alsastor and nifftys interaction was cute and I love how she made him a crown of dead bugs for him lol. I wanna know more abt them lol.

And their outfit changes are cool. I love Charlie's shelid looks awesome.

Had a feeling that Charlie and vaggie were gonna have a duet and I was right and omg their kiss aaaaa they're ao fucking cute together

And omg the fucking fight scenes are so fucking incredible and aweome and so well animated. Like alastors fight with adam, vaggie vs lute, Charlie and lucifer vs Adam. Like dam they all went hard as fuck bro

Adam defeating alastor and him barely escaping with his life like dude I thought Al was gonna win bc he's powerful but ig not lol too bad adam died so no rematch lol.

Sir pentcoius sacrirce and he made it into heaven bc he reddemed himself yay good for him but also his friends are sad he died but I figured he'd be the one to die.

Also poor razzle [or is it dazzle idk] will be missed I'm glad that razzle, keikei and fat nuggets are okay but razzle :'(

vaggie is such a badass I had a feeling she was gonna win against lute. And lute ripping her arm off was cool.

And Charlie and Adams fight was epic as hell like yass girl and like her demon form is so awesome. Charlie is such a girlboss and I fuckin love her.

And also omg luci taunting adam in their fight and all his shape-shifting was very cool and lo e how he was about to use fireball to kill adam before Charlie stopped him

And let's not forget that nifty being the one to kill adam she's such a gremlin love her for that.

And the Vee's reaction especially vox's were very funny lol.

And the song they were singing as they rebuilt the hotel was so good and made me emotional lol a d when lucifer told Charlie that she did amazing is awwww

Also omg liliths in heaven [or eden] and she made a deal with adam i wonder abt that and if she becomes a mastermind in season 2

But like overall what a fuckin masterpiece of a show lol. Yes I'm aware there are issues and the pacing was kinda rushed and shit like that but I don't care. I love the show very much and I've been a fan of it ever since the pilot aired all those years ago lol [ik it's been 4yrs but it feels longer than that yenno]

I just have so so many thoughts abt this and i need to rant abt it somewjere or im gonna explode lol. Im not gonna stop talking bout it for very long time lol.

[nohaijiachi]

Be free, plot bunny

I have this omen twins plotbunny that's been gnawing at the back of my head for weeks now and it's driving me insane, but I'm already busy enough as it is and don't have time to embark in the journey of writing another longass fic, so I'm gonna share in super abridged mode: When Godfrey is divested of Grace and banished from the Lands Between, he decides he's going to bring the twins with him, even if it goes against the will of his beloved Marika. He just can't stand the thought of leaving them rotting in the sewers, so he attempts a rescue mission.

Things don't go exactly to plan and he ends up only being able to grab Morgott and run, forced to leave Mohg behind. The twins are young enough that given time Morgott would not remember his brother so, even if it breaks his heart, Godfrey decides to never tell Morgott the truth...  Or, at least, only tells him part of the truth, simply omitting Mohg's existence. So at the start Morgott keeps asking and crying for his brother, but as he grows, being told there is no brother, he forgets about him and becomes an adult convinced the vague memories he still has  are only old fragments of childhood imagination. He grows up in a more or less stable-er situation, son of the chieftain and surrounded by the trusted crucible knights under his father's command who do not abhor him for being an Omen. 

He'd probably be a lot more well adjusted than canon Morgott, overall (even if I still imagine life is hard, out there in the badlands) But how did things go for Mohg? As you can imagine, huh.... Not well. Now completely alone and imprisoned in the bowels of Leyndell, baby Mohg does not understand where his father and brother went, why they are not coming back to him. The memory of Morgott held in Godfrey's arms, reaching out to him in tears, calling his name, is all but seared in his memory like fire. He grows convinced their father took Morgott away from him, and the solitude and complete lack of anyone giving him even a smidge of affection (omen twins care for each other it's canon I don't make the rules)  basically makes it so Mohg grows up even more unhinged than canon Mohg. He surely still ends up communing with the Formless Mother, but where canon Mohg wants to challenge the status quo and instate himself in a position of power (if in a highly debatable manner) this Mohg only has one objective: lay absolute waste to all those who wronged him. (Now that I think about it, perhaps it'd be more apt to have him commune with the Flame of Frenzy in this one lol) So idk, Formless Mother or Flame of Frenzy, it doesn't really matter much, what matters is that news of the complete devastation that has spread all over the Lands Between gets even out there in the badlands, soon followed by the new mad monarch's intentions to expand his path of destructive conquest. Then... Idk, Mohg on a rampage gets out there, meets his long lost brother who he probably thought dead and mourned every single day (extra angst bonus: what if in his madness Mohg has been consistently hallucinating what he remembered of Morgott spurring him and encouraging him on his path of destruction) and needless to say the encounter is... Something else. Cannot decide myself if Mohg would end up crumbling at Morgott's feet, too overcome by contrasting feelings to even know what to do, or if he'd be so enraged the destruction he rained on the Lands Between will look like a cakewalk by comparison. As I don't know how it would all end. The inevitable nature of plotbunnies. SO THERE, BUNNY, YOU ARE FREE IN THE WILD NOW, LEAVE ME THE F ALONE AND GO EAT SOME GRASS OR SOMETHING

[channoticedmeuwu]

So, idk if this is still ok but i saw your post about "if anyone anon or not needs a space to vent they can"

I just need to get a few things off my chest and idk who else to tell so im telling a stranger. Sorry for that bestie.

Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts, SH

You don't gotta keep reading if those make you uncomfortable i just gotta let it out bc i feel like I'll explode if i don't

So, idk if you know the whole "intentionally going numb/ turning off emotions" thing but i basically did that a month or so ago. And now i don't wanna go back to feeling bc i know i will just break down bc everything is too much and the fact that i don't have any real problems just makes everything worse. Like i know i don't have the fucking right to want to k word myself bc i don't have it nearly as bad as other people but that doesn't make me suddenly wanna live?

I have great friends, mostly supportive parents (although their parenting is questionable) im white, live in a wealthy country am abled and never faced "hard" discrimination based on my sexual orientation.

However, everything just seems pointless?

I had ⅓ graduation exams today and the next one which is math is tomorrow and i just straight up did not study bc i didn't see the point. My dad bought me an expensive car although i don't have a driver's license yet (i guess as motivation). And idk why anything would matter. Im turning 18 in a few days and the only good thing im seeing is that im gonna be able to buy my own alcohol.

Earlier i came to the conclusion that tomorrow would be a great day to k word myself and usually i just brush that stuff off but rn it genuinely seems like a pretty good solution. I only haven't done it yet bc i think about my friends and how traumatized they'd be but i was such an asshole today. Im pretty sure one of them (ironically my favorite one) hates me by now bc of all the emotional damage ive caused. They didn't even bother adding anything to the bs i said.

Funnily enough another friend told me i was obsessed with them^ bc i had/have a longass unrequited crush and ngl now that she said it i get what she meant. I am obsessed. Im a piece of shit lol. For constantly treating the people around me like toys. "meh they'll still be here when i play with the other one" no they fucking won't dumbass. I try my best to remind them that i care but the last few times it just sounded so wrong. Like i was forcing them to stay my friends. Like they would leave in a heartbeat if i didn't constantly manipulate them. Funfact my brain is like "you're saying bs rn" which is weird considering it usually likes it when i minimize my problems and make it sound like im being an asshole to everyone even though i just have a bad day.

Idk man. I told my therapist i think i might have adhd and he was like "i don't think you do" Granted he probs thinks im a teenager who's overreacting. Like the last one lol. That lady was smth else lmao. Telling me everything i felt was normal. Uh ma'am sorry but i don't think constantly blaming yourself for everything that literally doesn't have anything to do with you and having a voice in your head that tells you to kword yourself 24/7 is not normal but go off karen.

Anyway a friend messaged the gc earlier asking what we wanna do tmrw night and my first thought was "idk bout u but i hope im dead by then"

My mom's not home anyway so she won't "save me".

Just gotta figure out how and where and write a bunch of letters.

Bc the least i can do is give people a last goodbye. Yk bc i think as bad as it is, if im leaving i could at least give them smth to remember me by. A few words saying im grateful and i know they did their best but they couldn't have stopped me.

Maybe adding some hearts so they remember me as that bubbly caring friend i always tried to be.

Sorry for putting this on you stranger. I just didn't want to tell someone else.

If you've read this far thank you.

I'll try my best to stay alive. Maybe things will get better eventually.

Sorry again.

hey there buddy :'] I just wanna say a few things in response too! I hope I don't step over any personal boundaries, but I'm really worried and I can't bear to see this and not say anything. So under the cut, is just a few words I wanted to say :]

You don't have to read at all if you don't want to <3

[tw : mentions of suicide, bad mental state, negativity ]

I'm really glad you came to me and saw that post. I'm so happy you did, and tbfh I'm really proud of you for doing so. I would never have the guts to do it, and I think you're really brave for it.

I see that you're struggling a lot, and although it might sound strange coming out of a stranger, I really do appreciate you here. I know I can't do much rather than just offer presence on a website, but I really believe in you.

It's sad to know that people have to go through alot recently. I'm sorry you were faced with that. It must be very tough, and I really just want to give you a big hug </3

another thing I wanted to add : I am a person of color, and I just want to say that just because the world and alot of pocs are facing serious issues that people deem as "something to actually be depressed about", you should never compare your personal issues to that. Yes, sure, the world is suffering, yes, sure, everyone is facing problems, and yes, of course, some problems may hurt more than others do. That does not mean yours are invalid. I don't believe anyone needs a "reason" to be depressed. It's not a voluntary action, you can't control those feelings. Please, trust me, do not feel bad. Someone, a very close friend of mine, told me this while we were alone together. I'm glad she did, because it made me feel better at that time. And I'm passing on the message because it's true. No matter your sexuality, your race, your financial status, your gender identity; your issues at valid. Your problems are valid. You have every right to be upset, and you shouldn't invalidate yourself like that.

I'm sorry that you have to go through so much to go to be willing to do the k-thing. Al though I can't say much, I would love for you to stay. You would always have a welcoming place in my blog, and you'd always be appreciated here. I'm so sorry for everything happening, and I'm so sorry for not being able to do anything more. I don't know if you want to hear this, but I love you. I love you alot, very much, and it hurts me too, to see you like this.

Please, if you ever want to stay, if you ever want to chat, if you ever need a leaning shoulder or a listening ear, please, reach out to me. My dms are always open, my inbox is always open. If I don't reply, it's because I'm asleep.

Again, I'm glad you were brave enough to share this, and I'm glad that you're still here. I really appreciate you, my inbox and dms are ALWAYS open, please, drop by and say something whenever you feel like it.

Thanks for this message anon, I love you <3

My heart reaches out to you. I'll always be here. I meant what I said.

[necronomiconiclasm]

tagged by @the-venereal-bede​ and hey i haven’t posted any oc in a longass time if ever so why not

rules: tag 10 people you want to get to know better, except i don’t have that many mutuals to tag tbh

relationship status: still currently cooling the jets on any potential shenanigans 3 fav foods: oh god so many options you know how i love food i’m always fond of a good steak but i’m not gonna put anything else bc choice paralysis song stuck in my head: you’ll never leave harlan alive by patty loveless

last song i listened to: lofi remix of juicy by biggie smalls (don’t judge me) last thing i googled: probably “solitaire” lol i’ve been hitting that too much

time: 11:10 pm

dream trip: i want to go back to continental europe and do like a greatest hits tour but also probably visit britain, just really check out sites of nigh-religious importance to the history of capitalist development and the socialist movement also, do lots and lots of ketamine in germany

anything i want: what i want is to get my head in the game tagging @queer-reads @technicallydirect @5lazarus but only if you want to

[gonebyionnalee]

this is a big longass (i’m talking more than 2000 words) serious post so sorry mobile users and content warning for child sexual abuse etc

okay so for context i don’t know how many people were active in the same communities as me 3? 4/5? years ago on here but long story short there was a trans woman called whitney (mentioning she’s trans because it becomes relevant later since i want to talk about why the trans community at large is terrible with this kind of subject) who was well known and popular, to cut to the point she turned out to be a pedophile who groomed multiple underaged people (mostly women and trans men) like between 13 - 15 as a grownass adult and sexually harassed a few other people of various (including legal) ages. also had rape allegations attached to her name which obviously you can’t quantify with facebook chat screenshots but you know not going to suddenly get flakey about rape charges against somebody who is quite literally grooming children

her url was purplefridge and the medium for getting her expunged from the community was callout posts because let’s be real if you have concrete evidence that somebody has attempted to groom/molest you and they’re active on tumblr, you’re going to post about it on tumblr. i’ve had to do that, multiple people have had to do that on here, in a self governing online community that is largely how things are going to happen. if people want to see the posts just go into tagged/purplefridge but also somebody for whatever reason posted a dick in that tag years ago so um you know. look out for that

and in moments after that largely she joked about it and tried to cover her ass by telling people (notably people i’m friends with) that it wasn’t that bad but after the like 4th or 5th post she hightailed it, deleted her blog and sent multiple people (talking in the 10′s and 20′s here) the same copypaste cookie cutter apology and in the years after that she managed to continue life as normal on twitter, still active in the soundcloud/furry/trans communities as if nothing had happened and cultivating social clout like a normal human with the @ polistae

i’d wanted to tell people in the past (2ish years ago) that she was that person, and just because somebody seemingly isn’t doing that now, doesn’t mean they aren’t a rapist and child abuser. the event is a large black mark on my brain and despite never having been in direct contact with her (mutual friends is how we knew each other and while i was underaged at the time she didn’t groom me), the feeling of having to cut people out of your life because, for whatever reason, they decided to remain friends with somebody who is quite literally once again a rapist and child abuser because “i have hope she’ll change” or “she told me it wasn’t that bad” or “i want to keep an eye on her” is quite literally vomit enduing. whenever i tried tweeting about it i felt like my head was going to explode (i did tell her to kill herself in traffic at one point though which was gratifying). like when people know incredibly personal things about you and your history with child sexual violence and rape during your teenage years, yeah, that hurts lol

and for whatever reason the topic of her existing and being a piece of shit came up semi recently (this week), a friend of mine linked to the posts on here for context and we had a back and forth in the replies (as she did with other people who were there and had to deal with it) and it gets a few notes from people who are disgusted (you know like any human with basic morals would be) then flash forward a few days later some hack furry soundcloud musician who makes DJ paypal ripoffs is screenshotting our tweets and encouraging people to dogpile us because we’re ~problematic~ or whatever (for context i did make a joke about soundcloud trannies but literally if you’re focusing your energy on a trans woman saying a word that she’s allowed to use and unbothered by the literal rapist you are clearly, utterly, brain dead) and then gets in my mentions and starts accusing me of a multitude of different things as to why i’m talking about something i happened to see somebody else talking about it like i suddenly made the decision to bring up something from four years ago for fun like. literally not expunging the energy with a limit of 280 characters or less having to coddle a grown adult man who needs to be told that “rape and child abuse is bad and not something that stops being abhorrent after 4 years”

and while not directly interacting with me, i had to see tweets from various people calling it “bringing up past drama” and the whole deluge into people changing and it being outright lies etc

and it’s just

like i really can’t fucking stand how idiotic some people are about this subject which i guess is why i’m writing the nihon shoki of child sex abusers here. like people calling things like this purely because it happened through tumblr as a medium “callout culture” like no fucking shit they made a giant post about it, it’s the fastest way to get somebody out of a community with hard evidence. 13 - 15 year olds coming forward about being literally groomed by a pedophile is in no way comparable to people making posts about people doing things they personally find objectionable. like, literally if somebody is a rapist and child sex abuser to boot, why would it stop being a relevant fact about them after 4 years? why shouldn’t it be public knowledge be it tumblr post or not? i don’t see you calling for the abolition of sex offenders registers so why are you harassing people for bringing up the fact that somebody just migrated communities and tried to obscure the fact she is, again, quite literally a rapist and a pedophile

and like i mentioned before in the first paragraph that’s about 3 miles away now, there’s a specific problem with this in LGBT online communities (not gonna talk about furries because let’s be real as a community they’re responsible for god not talking to us anymore) specifically transgender. like i see so much of this stuff from trans women specifically defending other trans women because they believe they’re infallible except only when confronted by other trans women. like i remember a while ago i think it was aquila talking about sexual harassment from a trans woman and some bitch tried to accuse her of “contributing to the stereotype that trans women are sex abusers perpetrated by cis people” like ????

it’s impossible to have a serious discussion about sex abuse and assault in the trans community because, at large, the community has a problem with sanctimonious white women who’re only friends with other sanctimonious white women (i’m mentioning race despite being white myself because i mean it like a lot of them are racist even if they don’t know it and talk too much about things they shouldn’t but do anyway because they think being trans puts them at the very bottom of some kind of hypothetical social ladder). like somebody comes forward with a story about sexual harassment from a specific person who happens to be trans and you get a bunch of Those People talking about them perpetuating stereotypes despite this being a literal event that happened to them

same with the whitney thing like we (small friend group of mine) were talking about it in our group chat and then some trans woman who was apart of it just up and leaves and today, we see he having a laugh and a jape with her like she didn’t find out hours before that the person she’s friends with is a rapist.

firsthand i’ve seen a lot of things from trans women who think that they’re untouchable because they have the label of “trans woman” and fall back on that as a get out of jail free card like they can’t be racist or classist or even themselves be criticised for sexual misconduct

and the sexual misconduct thing is literally perpetuated like a normal thing like all of those posts that get circulated around about how all trans women flirt with each other and share nudes like, no, if i don’t know you and you try to talk to me like that you’re a creep and need to fuck off. like a lot of my friends who’re trans women have experiences with people they don’t know trying to share nudes or outright start aggressively flirting

like i’m aware this is kind of all over the place towards the end and it might be hard to understand if you’re not apart of the trans community or you’re trans and haven’t experiences this yourself firsthand or been told by others about similar things but, really as a community we have a problem with allowing people who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about lead discussions about identity politics and also thinking that people who’re sexual harasses ranging from “just doesn’t know what appropriateness is” to “preys on minors” to “literal rapist” walk free and interact with people like a normal human because of weird belies that only other trans women are allowed to confront other trans women about things they do (and also as much as i hate to say it some people like the people on mine and my friends cases the other day, just don’t care and consider anybody bringing stuff up from the past or because it happened on tumblr drama-whores or whatever)

like another example is during the whole dog mom escapade (yes the woman who wanted to fuck dogs and her girlfriend who dated somebody in the past who fucked a dog, and regularly interacted with her gf’s blog about wanting to fuck dogs) i had people try to accuse me of using her trans status to get people to (heh) dogpile on her and somebody go on a “you shouldn’t bring this stuff up to a crowd of largely cis people because people have a habit of persecuting minorities moreso than people with privilege and people might mock her for being trans!” rant at me to which i just responded with “i don’t care”. like she wants to fuck dogs nobody cares if she has a dick or not they just want her away from them because she wants to fuck dogs. this isn’t complex.

like, again as a community, we really need to do better. and outside of that back to the original epoch of this longass post, what the fuck is wrong with people (both cis and trans) who’re willing to excuse literal rape and child sexual abuse because it happened a while ago or because they have some perverse sense of loyalty to an online friend

and again sorry to kind of just. write a herculean passage of text and i know the stuff about the trans community failing in regards to that in mine and others experiences maybe might be hard to follow if you aren’t aware of what i’m talking about (maybe? we’ll see) but yeah i’ve had this on my mind for a while. having to see people excuse that kind of shit and outright try to start drama with you and others is, obviously, very strenuous

idk i feel being gay/trans exposes you to a lot of angels but also a lot of terrible people, online communities that’re self governed can go to shit incredibly fast if somebody with enough social notoriety is crafty enough (case in point monetizeyourcat) and enough people are willing to take their side for whatever obtuse reasons 

also i checked there’s literally around 2000 words here so again thank you if you read the whole thing and i’m sorry for the really fucking grim subject matter that seems to crop up a fucking lot in online communities, but again, lot of thoughts, this is a way to expunge them from my head so i can go play dangan ronpa without having a literal dark cloud over me. blessed thursdays everyone <3