#never understood why everyone shipped them. was it some mass hallucination. WHAT WAS IT

[gellavonhamster]

Realizing some funny things about the early years of my involvement in fandom, that is, when I was 13-16 years old or or so. You know how some people claim they can't make themselves care about female characters and/or f/f ships because women and relationships between them in media are usually badly written, and then you take a look at what these people watch/read and it's exclusively something that barely has any women in it? I kinda used to be like that, but with m/m. I read and wrote gen and m/f and f/f but just couldn't care about m/m. I remember that at some point I used to explain it by saying that I just can't connect to it because while I can imagine the feelings a man and a woman can have for each other and the feelings two women can have for each other (now that's interesting, 15-year-old Gella, do you have anything to share with the class?..) but not the feelings two men can have for each other, and that's why I'm not interested. Now, I definitely moved away from relatability as a metric for compelling fiction as I got older, but I don't think that was the root of it.

The real reason? My first fandoms were two Russian fantasy series by Dmitri Yemets, Tanya Grotter and Mefodiy Buslaev. (For the context: the first one is a Harry Potter parody that started doing its own thing after book 2 and eventually devolved into heteronormative patriarchal slop, and the second one is an urban fantasy about angels and demons that eventually became too saturated with Christian morality for my liking). Neither of these had much going on in terms of slash potential except for the classic "make two boys who hate each other kiss", which I considered boring then and still consider boring now. Then I switched to HP, where there was, obviously, a lot of slash, but none of it interested me because I wasn't into the most popular characters and ships. I never really shipped Harry himself with anyone, I never liked the Malfoys, I was never into the Marauders era, I never understood why everyone considered Snape shippable and hot (the guy with greasy hair who is horrible towards his students? That's the opposite of sexy to me). I dabbled in Dean/Seamus a little because secondary characters and friends to lovers are two of my usual niches, but never really was too invested. Sure, I read some slash written by my friends or when a summary intrigued me or when I knew the author wrote well no matter the ship, but all my favourite ships still were het and femslash.

And then I started watching some TV shows popular at the time - not Superwholock, never watched those, but, like, Teen Wolf, for example. Various Marvel stuff. Other things where I actually could see some subtext/potential for m/m ships, and it was like wow, apparently slash isn't always about characters I don't care about who don't have any chemistry whatsoever. Who could have thought. And then I took a turn into historical/period drama/classic lit stuff, and lo and behold, started having m/m OTPs as well. And now I just ship whatever dynamics I find interesting without caring about the genders of the characters involved. But there was a time when I didn't feel that way, and specifically towards the kind of fic that usually constitutes the bulk of most fandoms. Not like other girls moment.

[theskyexists]

the amazing she-ra 5

i am LOVING this first episode. they’re TRULY the underdogs now. people are hiding with magic. they live in tents. they’ve lost their edge. they’re actually leaning into the horrors of war now

Shadowweaver says OOC stupid things but it doesn’t matter because the princesses shut it down satisfactorily. Adora is weighed down by responsibility in a cool way.

Catra is staking out the enemy and weaseling her way in. (yessss)

‘You don’t need to say it! I know. I made that choice. I’m living with the consequences.’ I LOVE THIS ADORA

I LOVE THIS WRITING. Catra and Glimmer are THE greatest pair ever. Glimmer is smart enough to poke right through Catra’s defenses - and NOW they’re in the same situation - Glimmer says so - and immediately the prison wall fades away - and they’re both invited for dinner. THAT DELICIOUS WRITING

i do love how shadowweaver has been this snarky aunt for two seasons now.

Hord Prime shows us Adora in danger and Catra is like; FUCK YOU ADORA’S MINE (TO DESTROY) !!!!

I love Hord Prime’s wonderfully manipulative dinner. And I love glimmer quietly crying and I love Catra being like HRMMMM I DONT LIKE THIS. the subtle animations are so great - the close-ups

the way Catra speaks to Hord Prime - the way she’s really fuckin scared and the way Hord Prime says ‘little sister’. The way they make him seem unbeatable. I LVOE IT.

AND I LOVE THESE VISIONS FOR ADORA

jezus but how few people really live in etheria ?

the propaganda and the tech to boost prime’s image everywhere....ugh it’s delicious. im also happy Entrapta is back and on the good side instead of helping Catra be a bitch to Adora. and im glad the princesses are wary of her.

hahahaah awww Bo came to give adora breakfast and then he panics when she’s lying on the floor. I ALSO LOVE BO AND ADORA TOGETHER BEST

goddamnit Bo YAH! finally somebody who effectively protects someone from the masses. fuck off micah!

Love the princesses acting on their own - love Scorpia mediating, love mermista stepping up, love Entrapta using her .....intelligence

I love how Hord Prime manipulating Glimmer is used to show us more about his empire.

‘i only want to bring peace’ - but also i destroyed all these worlds. how is that...how is that even surface compatible?? like no attempt is made to align those two things.

wait....the heart of etheria will destroy the universe? why??? why is that the assumption. and why...does Hord Prime want that? i....

the comedy of the princesses doing a mission alone is GREAT

IM SO HAPPY THE PRINCESSES GOT TO HIT ENTRAPTA WHERE IT HURTS. now THIS is the right level of comedy versus hurt

the way scorpia rolled to cover frosta in her bulk!

i love how adora is like - HAH sleep is great actually! wow!!

because of the underlying grievances that we EXPERIENCED as audience, this friendship moment actually LANDS

I REINSTATE MY HOORAY!!! (hahahaha god i love scorpia). oh my god Micah saying he trusts glimmer’s friends to save her - fuckin hell - heart squeeze

LOOK AT THAT SHIT. LOOK AT IT!!! Glimmer being angry at Catra - but then recanting and showing vulnerability. Catra showing vulnerability by acquiescing. GOD!!!

‘why did you do it?’ OH GOD ARRGHGHHG THATS SO FUCKING PAINFUL. why does Catra scratch Adora? Because she doesn’t understand - seems to not make the effort to understand!! because she’s never understood that everybody always hurt her - she never fucking saw when it was right in front of her. THat’s even worse in a way than being hurt.

god the fuckin scale. the planet getting bombarded from space....jezus christ.

theres a hallway with light and dark at the end - its implied she goes into the dark - BECAUSE SHE INTENDS TO HIDE FROM WHO FOLLOWS HER

wow she instantly realises he’s hordak. ha!

Catra is being so open with Glimmer. She’s REALLY REALLY! off balance

they have a talking ritual!!!! THEYRE BONDING ABOUT ADORA BEING A DORK!!!!

Catra realises that nothing she was doing on Etheria had any value to her!!!! I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH

I love how Adora gets to be such a badass dork this season!!!! Bo and Adora + Glimmer and Catra are the BEST COMBINATION

godDAMN they made these clones creepy. damn i LOVE Hord Prime!!!

catra/glimmer......tho.....

she pushes her onto the bed and kneels before her, holding her hands. DUDES. MY DUDES!!!! catra is they gayest cat in existence

‘do one good thing in your life!’ - oh OUCH god, you can feel the whole weight of all the hurt and injustice she’s experienced in ‘dont talk to me like you know me!’

HAHAHAHAHAHAH BO losing his mind and Adora being a hilarious himbo is SO GOOD

I LOVE CATRA’S ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING ADORABLE MEMORY AND HALLUCINATIONS

‘im alway going to be your friend’  - ‘i’ll never say sorry to anybody’ GODDD

‘all i do is hurt people, there’s no one left in the entire universe who cares about me’ - a reasonable assumption based on your behaviour except for the fact that Adora has been trying to reach you for 4 FUCKING seasons with hand outstretched

THAT WAS SO FUCKING DRAMATIC I AM IN LOVE !! IN LOVE WITH THEM!!!!

are you fucking SERIOUS - ENTRAPTA MADE AN AB WINDOW IN BO’S SPACE SUIT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

the animation in this goddamn season is CRAZY and INCREDIBLE

I ADORE Catra the self Martyr i ADORE that she’s going to go through the wringer still in Hord Prime’s hands.

THIS SEASON IS WORTH ALL THE REST

are YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME- i HATE THAT SHIT WHY MUST YOU MAR THIS SEASON WITH AN INTERRUPTION OF AN APOLOGY. STOP IT!!! IT’S NOT FUN IT’S NOT SATISFYING IT RUINS THE MOMENT IT WEAKENS THE EMOTION BY DRAGGING IT OUT FUCK!!!!

well i guess that was pretty good with Adora. wish they had made that a little bit longer

i love entrapta. she’s such a perfect element to throw into the mix. and her connections with AI’s are great

that scorpia and swift wind talk is so beautiful. they are also the PERFECT pair. ‘gosh have you ever noticed how many moons we have here? it’s weird.’ HAHAHAHA

they’re visiting a planet that’s been conquered by Prime...

I love how they made Entrapta flirty with her tech ahahahaha

i love how Adora is like: oh??? you’re coming to me??? for emotional advice??? uhhhhhh ok haha nice

I LOVE ADORA

i love swift wind’s drunk history retelling of what’s going on on Etheria - especially his impression of shadowweaver and his batman micah

Bo sure is very bad at forgiveness himself lol

‘well im NOT! running awayy that is. i AM smart’ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! i love you adora

Adora spewing all her bullshit about Catra to total strangers ahahaha

this was SUCH amazing teamwork!!!

AND THAT MOMENT OF SHE-RA BEING BACK!!!!

GLIMMER ACKNOWLEDGING SHE MADE A MISTAKE AND THAT BO DESERVES TO BE MAD AND MAYBE THINGS WON’T BE THE SAME AGAIN BUT SHE WON’T STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT BETTER AND SHE’LL BE THERE IF HE’S EVER READY

FUCKING TEARS BABEY

jezus christ !! that was good!!! i take it back - it was a stupid interruption (they could have just had Bo respond ‘eh’ at an attempt at apology from glimmer....maybe) but they made the final apology INCREDIBLE

‘i can’t just leave her...’ the voice acting in this is sO GOOD

Catra made her whole plan to keep Adora away from Prime based on the assumption that if Glimmer was in Prime’s hands, then Adora would come to rescue her no matter the danger. So she saved Glimmer. But SHE FAILED TO REALISE THAT ADORA WOULD DO THE SAME FOR HER AHAHAHAHAHAHAA

the amazing thing about these highly tech advanced societies is that none of them have invented security cameras

glimmer getting some ptsd flashes

I KNEW that the heart of etheria was built by the First Ones to fight Hordak. Makes Mara’s decision a bit more ---- hMMMM not as great. Because Hordak has killed countless worlds since!

the hive mind lol. jezus Prime is so terrible.

oh my god the very concepts of Prime when behind a fictional buffer are so archtypically delicious. Catra’s glowy green eyes and full bow. hohhohhohho. that uniform also looks great

so Prime could do this to everyone but he chose to surround himself with clones. goddamn.

oh damn that lean-in, those hands on her neck. hmmmhm. gay

she FLINCHES when Prime lays a hand on her shoulder. DAMN. love it

‘you will give me she-ra’ ---- isn’t that what she’s been offering all along? lol

AND THEN HE LEAVES ADORA WITH A BRAINWASHED CONTROLLED PUPPET CATRA WHO ATTACKS HER

OH ITS SO DELICIOUS

brainwashed Catra is really sexy and disturbing hahahahahaha

this fight is so well choreographed. Catra letting herself almost fall, Adora gathering her into her arms, the scratch across the back, the damn knee into the midriff (OUCH), the dangling her in turn.

‘i always hated that guy in particular - and also all the other guys i hit on the way in.’ LOLOLOLOL

THE CHEEK TOUCH - THE TEARS AND SMILE - THE GREEN EYES AND THE BACKHAND AFJLDJFDSJFLKDSJSDFKSDFJ

‘you’re such an idiot!’

‘yeah! i know!’

I LOVE THEM AAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS SO TRUE AHAHAHAHAHAHAI LOVE THEM

‘im going to take you home’

‘promise?’

NOELLE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME

Adora watches Catra probably die and fall off into a endless pit. JUMPS IN AFTER HER ONE SECOND LATER

Prime really did miscalculate lol - his ship’s been destroyed by one stab at a server.

CATRA ALMOST DYING AND ADORA TRANSFORMING WITH GLOWY EYES GODDAMN!!!! HOLDING CATRA INTO HER ARMS BRIDAL STYLE. NEW OUTFIT!! WALKING INTO THE SHIP LIKE A BOSS. AND HEALS HER. HEY ADORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE FUCKING

PURRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all the fucking crying is so good

‘I kNOW YOU ALL HATE ME!” ‘I NEVER HATED YOU’ ‘Then you’re dumber than I thought’ HAHAHAHAHA i love how Catra cannot accept Adora’s friendship because she cannot forgive herself. but Adora never fucking gets it because she has the emotional intelligence of a crab!!!! the problem is that Adora is the exact shape of Catra’s heart - which is one big open wound. And if she presses - all she does is cause hurt

Catra is so adorable looking god.....

SPINERELLA AND NETOSSA KISSED!!!!!!!! awwwwwww they’ve been so cute for so long and they only got more and more screentime and Awwwww

Not-Hordak and ‘dehydrated protein slaw’ AhAHAHAHA

how did they find us? UHHH THERES A CHIP IN CATRA’S SPINE????

ADORA TELLING CATRA WHAT’S UP!! YES! Catra in a corner. Catra on her damn KNEES. ADORA BLUSHING AT HOLDING HER HAND

their first impulse is to hold each other at the ship shaking.

CATRA IS BLUSHING LOOKING AT ADORA TRANSFORM

SHE-RA CAN LITERALLY FLY THROUGH SPACE - well. make matter from light, breathe in a vacuum, jumpt from one asteroid to another....

I AM GLIMMER IN THIS: YEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Catra is very lucky that her biggest likely hater is already on her side: glimmer

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SPINERELLAAAA. what a fuckin bait and punch goddamn! making them so cute and then foreshadowing it perfectly and then BAM

CATRA IS CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO MESS WITH ADORA BY LITERALLY JUMPING INTO ADORA’S LAP

fjadslkfasdjflkadjfsja

CATRA IS

PURRING

catra is so effortlessly cool sitting in the window sill

i am actually loving that they have a not-Hordak with them. it humanises those clones a lot

this prince has farsight but they NEVER thought to recruit him BEFORE???

FUCKIN - I LOVE how spinerella and netossa have gotten so much more screentime - relevant to the plot and also revealing their characters. i wish we’d got this from the start!

well now i ship perfuma and scorpia lolololol

HAHAHAHAHA i LOVE this Seahawk and Mermista hiding behind a bar because of ex victims skjsfajfklds

Prince Peekabloo has an AMAZING design, but also he must be a fake. IT MUST BE DOUBLE TROUBLE. double trouble has TASTE

MERMISTA LOOKS SO COOL IN THAT OUTFIT - but also especially chipped and in shadows. they do love chipping people’s love interests

SCORPIA SACRIFICING HERSELF TO SAVE PERFUMA. jezus christ so much love interest drama suddenly wow

‘happy anniversary’ that is HEARTBREAKING

what a great ending to a very silly episode. that’s the balance. a last message from the last soldier standing...

‘WHY DOES SPACE HATE ME SO MUCH!?!?!’ hahahahaah

Catra’s fingers shake......

‘take it from somebody who’s defeated you guys, like, a lot’ AAHAHAHA

FINALLY CATRA IS ON THEIR SIDE TO BE THE SMARTS IN TEH ROOM

ADORA LOOKS SO BADASS IN THAT SPACESHIP CHAIR

chipping everyboddy so they’re like zombies was a great story idea.

catra upset at her signs of upset. CUTE

why the FUCK is Adora’s hair out of her spacesuit ahahahahahahaha. IM SO GLAD THAT BO AGREES WITH ME ON THE ADORABLENESS OF CATRAS HELMET HAHAHAHAHAA

catra is happy to see adora laugh again.... : ‘)

CATRA JUST CLAWED THROUGH FIVE CENTIMETERS OF STEEL????!?!?!?!

ADORA IS BLUSHING AAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

I LOVE how Catra is like, WHAT THE FUCK at having lost to these people

Entrapta trying to deal with Wrong-Hordak in existential crisis is a hilarious premise

THE ANGRIER YOU GET THE CUTER YOU ARE!!! I LOVE BO

oh wow! a first ones colony! very cool! this whole planet works against intruders and plays tricks on them. i do like how first ones are definitely like, still imperial shitlords like subtly. i love how Wrong-Hordak has a realisation arc in the background.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS CREEPY

CATRA DISARMED THIS CAT CREATURE WITH HER CUTE SNEEZE AHAHAHAHA

CATRA IS PETTING A CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHAHA EVERY SINGLE THING WE COULD HAVE EVER WANTED IS COMING TRUE

catra is working on not lashing out :’) <= literally adora and also me

Melog is so ADORABLE and imprinted on Catra and LOVES ADORA and AGHGHGHG

I love how Adora can make her eyes glow on command

Castaspella was blushing at Shadowweaver being so close lolololol. wow this is the first time Castaspella has been interesting. ‘and stop me, if i take the power for myself’ i love aunty shadowweaver.

AAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH WHAT HAHAAHHAAAAHA Catra notices she’s holding Adora’s hand and goes ARGGH and doesn’t just take her hand back but throws it away ahhaahaha. Adora doesn’t even respond. that was so hilarious for some reason.

GLIMMER KISSING CATRA’S CHEEK HELLO??? HELLO?????????

‘is what i would have said before i joined you. go team’ hahahaa

‘you’re wearing hooded cloaks. that’s highly suspicious’ AHAHAHAHAHA fucking meta

I LOVE HOW ADORA IS THE ‘oh god my fuckin friends blowing our cover great’ person here

MELOG IS ALREADY STEALING MUSHROOMS FOR CATRA TO EAT AHAHAHAHA I LOVE THEM

Spinerella and Netossa are so BADASS and i love their fight. it’s so deliciously painful and cool hehehehehe

so the only person im fighting here is!.....my own wife...

I LOVE THEM

spinerella is so op lololol - why did she barely do anything for them when they were still fighting hordak

wrong hordak is so fucking cute ahahahahaha

goddamn that reunion was touching and funny at the same time. and i can actually believe that Prime is having trouble with this slippery team of magic users

I love Netossa’s analysis of the princesses weaknesses. Adora: can’t act to save her life. also extreme hair envy with she-ra

BUT GLIMMER: crippling self-doubt mixed with overwhelming hubris AHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA

OH MY GOD SHE SPRITZED CATRA WITH WATER JFDKLDFWDSFKSDFKJLDSJFJDSFKDSLKFSDLFJLKFLKDJFLKS AHAAHAHAAHA

PERFUMA DON”T BE A BITCH TO CATRA. (even though yeah Catra did treat Scorpia bad) she’s right you need to fuckin go for the neck (this episode is gonna show us that you need to damage the chip AND get through to scorpia and it’s going to take catra and perfuma ofc)

awwwww glimmer and bo.... bo is really worried about his dad :’( . this is the first time ive found myself shipping bo and glimmer.....the way he sighs into her arms, turns his face into her neck. Yes....

AWWW CATRA AND ADORA CHALLENGING EACH OTHER AGAIN AWWWW

BO’S DADS LEFT HIM A CLUE IN A FUCKING DAD JOKE ahahaahahahahaah

perfuma is really getting on my nerves here. ‘we dont throw tanks at our friends’ uhhhh shes trying to kill you. just let perfuma get electrocuted adora

AH THEY FINALLY GIVE AN ORIGIN STORY FOR ‘GRAYSKULL’! ha! i do love how they keep elaborating on the First Ones as tyrants as well

hmm perfuma was right i guess. i didnt really like that development. urgh god perfuma is so grating lol..

i wonder how shadowweaver and catra are gonna....deal with each other....

hah. shadowweaver tries to weasel in with Adora again. but Adora won’t stand for it again....

Melog literally acts out Catra’s emotions and jumps adora playfully. hehehehe

shadowweaver is such a fucking bitch. i wonder if we’ll ever get her to admit guilt or apologise

no adora. you have to fucking defend catra to shadowweaver. THAT is what you have to do now that you can!

SHE JUST JUMPED INTO FIRE FOR ADORA

shadowweaver preying on Adora and Catra again goddddd. let this be an episode in which they finally shuck her off. Adora fucking THINK, the only reason you could transform in the first place was BECAUSE of Catra.

YEAHHHHH CATRA!!!!!!!! GETTING ALL THE INFO BEFORE ADORA GETS MANIPULATED INTO SOMETHING SHE DIDN’T CHOOSE. naturally she still chooses to do it.

Melog lies half on top of Adora while Catra watches her.... god fuckin hell Melog being an extension of Catra’s feelings is so fucking AMAZING

holy FUCK that confrontation. (i love how every confrontation between adora and catra starts in roughhousing - their language is extremely physical). this is the softer version of catra’s and adora’s dynamic. Catra loves Adora and she wants Adora to choose HER, LIFE WITH HER. ‘what do you want?’ (WHAT ABOUT ME??) But Adora always chooses some higher hero purpose over her. and she doesn’t want to watch Adora die....

‘i dont have to watch it happen...’

god fuckin hell this season.

shadowweaver BELIEVES that she did the right things - of course. and that’s fascinating. and I love that Adora finally totally truly was like: YOU RUIN PEOPLE AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. fuck yeah!

so when was the moment that Adora couldn’t become she-ra anymore? think it’s when she lost track of Catra....

I love Melog - I love how Catra cannot hide from her feelings anymore - at all.

the way glimmer asks adora ‘are you scared?’ ugh MY HEART

i love martyrs. i fucking LOVE martyrs.

oh my god hallucination Catra touching foreheads with Adora.....

EVERYTIME Glimmer just straight up shows Catra affection? that’s some good shit. i thought we were gonna have Glimmer going after Catra for her mother’s death at one point but no....not at all. and i dont mind it

GLIMMER SAID I LOVE YOU TWICE TO BO AND THEN BO SAID IT BACK AND KISSED HER DSFKSDLBJDS FOREHEAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE MARA!!!

the fights this season have been SO! GOOD!

i love how they’ve set up that Glimmer is a fucking POWERHOUSE. she can turn the tide of battle in a blink!

naturally they pit Micah against Glimmer. jfc this poor family....

there is something important about Prime not remembering Mara....

SHE BEAT MICAH SHE BEAT HIM!!!! WALKING RIGHT THROUGH HIS STORM OF DARK MAGIC.

SCORPIA CRADLED BO LIKE A BABY

SHADOWWEAVER SAVING CATRA? FOR ONCE???? FOR ONCE CHOOSING CATRA OVER POWER????? FUCK THAT’S CATHARTIC EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY TO GET ADORA TO THE HEART

catra has such a soft heart really. she still, after everything, loves shadowweaver. god....

SHE SAID SHE WAS PROUD OF CATRA. SHE --- SHE - SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF. GOD THE VOICEACTING FOR CATRA WHEN SHE - ADORA FALLING TO HER KNEES. THEIR PSEUDO MOTHER... AGHLDJDWFJJDSLF

FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKk

EVERY SINGLE LINE IS SO GOOD, so well-acted. the ‘im ready’ the way she says ‘catra’ like she can’t take anything anymore

i couldn’t write anything for the whole rest of that i was just covering my mouth with my hands

The fuckiN KISS! the look of PURE LOVE on ADoRA”S FACE

which in the back of my head - they cannot actually cut that in any way - it’s impossible to cut

adora with those blue eyes in the blaze, the magic is beautiful adora excising prime from hordak’s mind (WOW), adora and catra touching foreheads and the slight PURR you can hear, adult bo and glimmer (lookin so nice), adult catra (LOOKING SO HANDSOME in her prom-y outfit,) Glimmer chasing Catra, just, GOD, THE UTENA FUCKING REFERENCE, the way they say they love each other, my GOD, Scorpia being like woah perfuma you look nice, MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD THEM GOING TO SPREAD MAGIC TO THE UNIVERSE GOD!!!!!!

every single thing in this season was worth 4 seasons of enjoyable, entertaining, interesting, frustrating and meh. WOAH! WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[makemyskinyoursanctuary]

I hope you take the time to read this. Her story deserves to be heard. For months now, people have been telling me that I am so strong, but my mother was the definition of strength. She was also humble, generous, brave, funny, beautiful, stubborn, selfless and my hero. I'm not sure she ever understood the impact she left on people, especially me. Her story is heavy, from beginning to end. She never let me feel any of the weight. This isn't a read for the light hearted, but I want people to know what a warrior she truly was. My mom was born in Saigon, Vietnam. She was one of six children- the rebellious one at that. She was the socialite, the troublemaker, and very independent. She was the most unique of the sisters, as she was not analytical- she thrived in all forms of art. From early on, my mom was determined to follow her passions even though my grandparents were not able support it while living under the communist reign. She saved up all of her money, bought a classical guitar & sheet music, and taught herself how to play. She used to tell me about how she had a band with her friends and they would get together to sing pop music. Late one night, when my mom was playing, communist officers stood outside and listened for hours. After she finished, they came in and destroyed her instruments and music books.They tried to arrest her for playing songs from "the old country". My grandpa had to beg and pleaded until they agreed not to take her away. My mom was always fearless. She tried to escape the country 9 times, with a few of the attempts leading to jail time. But, even in jail, she made the best of it and made friends. The tenth and final attempt was made with her sister. She was in a group of 71 with 200 people overall that were trying to escape the shore. Her group hid beneath the deck of a disguised cargo ship. Between the captin not making it aboard and the storms that blew them far into the ocean, the two day trip turned into surviving 3 days and 4 nights in the terrifying waters. When they came into the sights of the pirates, they were luckily left alone and not pillaged like many ships before them because of the direction they were coming to shore from. They landed and began their chapter in refugee camps. There they stayed in camps in Thailand and the Philippines for two very difficult years, sometimes not having any food or water. My mom told me stories about sleeping on the ground under trees and collecting rain in plastic bags just to have water to drink. In 1983 the United Nations sponsored my mom and aunt and they moved to Utica. Her fight for the American dream was never easy. She had her heart set on going to college but had to take a job to provide for her and her sister. My mom ALWAYS had the strongest work ethic. She eventually married my father, got the chance to complete a degree in the Science of Photography and then opened our family legacy of Aversa Photography. My parents were a power house. Their business was undeniably one of the best studios of its time. They poured everything into the business and worked around the clock. My mom’s one regret was that she felt like she worked too much when I was young. When my parents eventually divorced, she became the sole owner and continued to keep the business going in case I ever wanted to take it over. Although I had worked in the studio for over a decade and also went to college for a Photo degree, she never pressured me into taking over the business. She always wanted me to create my own legacy and chase my own dreams. She took me to cheerleading practice, piano and violin lessons, theatre and drama club, art classes, voice lessons, choir rehearsals, and even ballet for the couple months I tried it. She actually did ballet herself for a while, which I don't think very many people knew. She was always my number one supporter. She even let me have house shows when venues would back out last minute, knowing how import the local music scene was to me. She also was a huge supporter of my friends. She put so much effort into going to their shows, galleries, and events. She treated so many of my friends as her own children. She just had a natural way of making everyone feel welcome and safe. Last May, my mom found out she might have cervical cancer. Wanting to protect me, she kept me in the dark. She wanted to get everything under control then tell me she was going to be fine. She never got the chance. In June she was forced to tell me about her diagnosis, as she was having trouble with scheduling her hysterectomy and needed me to be on call to take her, something she didn't want me to be a witness to. After a few weeks after her surgery, I took her to her follow up appointment, where the Doctor told her she was in the clear. He looked at me and said she didn't need any further treatment. It would be the same as me getting radiation or chemo because nothing was showing signs of possible cancer. I remember getting in the car after and my mom questioning it and I just tried to reassure her because I heard news that I wanted to hear. Still keeping very quiet about her health. She started to have pain in her leg and side and followed up with the original surgeon. He completely wrote her off and told her that she must be sleeping funny and to follow up with her primary doctor. They scanned and found no cause for the pain, no blood clot, nothing, but during her yearly appointment, her GYN reviewed all the reports and discovered that it stated that there were large fragments of mass remaining in her cervix all along. She fought with her insurance again to get a biopsy. Once again, she kept this from me because she never wanted me to worry. I'm very grateful for her friends that helped her through these times. When she got the biopsy finally scheduled after weeks and weeks, she broke the news that she may not be ok. I took her to get the biopsy and wanting to protect me as always, she waited until after Thanksgiving to tell me the news. My mom was a stage 4 with pelvic cancer. The months that followed were hard and painful. We went in and out of the emergency rooms dealing with the side effects of chemo. She suffered from multiple blood clots, a failing kidney, hallucinations, and hearing that she didn't have options left, but she didn't give up. My mom didn't want to give up for me. She agreed to go to the Roswell Cancer Center in Buffalo and keep fighting. She went through six full rounds of chemo and we hit a dead end. The doctor said we could try to do surgery to alleviate some of her discomfort and maybe eventually try other treatments. In late April, my mom went into surgery and two hours later the doctor came out to speak to me. I'm pretty sure my heart and time stopped completely. I thought he was going to tell me he lost her, as the surgery was so complex, however, he gave us news of a miracle. They were able to remove almost all off the mass and said that she should be able to have many good years ahead, with a few precautionary treatments. The day after the surgery, my mom stood up and walked on her own for the first time in so long. I remember her looking over to Sean and I with tears in her eyes thanking us as she processed everything that had happened to her. This was the first time in so long we felt real hope. She was released, and we took her home to Syracuse. She walked up and down stairs, cooked once in a while and started to have a little bit of life again. Within a few weeks her stomach swelled, and we found out the mass returned. Along with that came the pains in her leg and she once again lost most of the ability to walk. The doctor performed another surgery and placed a drain from the mass in hopes to shrink it to possibly do radiation. I took her to her radiation consultation in June, a year after she told me about her original diagnosis. They said radiation was absolutely not an option. They were going to try a different type of chemo and the chances of it working were below 30%, but if she wanted to they would try. I promise you there is only one worse feeling than explaining to your mother that we've reached the end of the rope. With the little bit of her that was left she decided to try the chemo knowing the chances. Because life wasn't tough enough as is, we lost my grandma the weekend before her scheduled chemo session. My mom was so tough. She wanted to see my grandma off and pay respects and come with us the long, grueling, 4-hour drive to Massachusetts. I think in her heart of hearts she knew it was the last chance to see the whole family at once. We came back that Sunday and Sean took her to chemo on that Tuesday. She really loved Sean and had a special bond with him the entire time she lived with us. When they got home, everything seemed fine. She didn't seem to have any really bad side effects this time around and then Friday came. We called an ambulance and she spent the next two weeks in emergency rooms fighting off sepsis. She spent her last Birthday in the hospital. That's something I'll always hate. Over the two weeks she was in the hospital Sean and I talked and decided we were going to move back to Utica. We didn't know if she had years left, but either way we were willing to commute everyday so that she could be with her community again. She had so many friends from all over, many of which didn't know the gravity of the situation (which I think is why I feel the need to write all of this). When we told her, she tried to fight us, because once again she was looking out for me. She often told me she hated that she was a burden. To this day, I still feel like going through this whole year or so was an honor, but we aren't getting into that yet. When she was finally released, we brought her back to her home. Within an hour people were at our door waiting to see her. My mom was such a special person. We had her next appointment for chemo and as we were driving to Buffalo I could feel something in the Universe shift. I knew this was going to be our last visit. I knew what they were going to say. She was too weak for any treatment. She was angry at the news. She didn't want to stay for her remaining appointments, she just wanted to go home. I had to sit there and plan out Hospice and watch my mom's heart shatter. The ride home however was not as grim as I expected. My mom seemed like there was a weight lifted off of her suddenly and she was in good spirits. The next day we began Hospice and things seemed relatively calm. Last Friday my aunt called me at work, she was visiting my mom for the week, and said something changed. Things didn't seem right. I rushed home and she told me my mom was doing a little bit better than when she called, but my mom wouldn't eat. Saturday morning my mom got up by herself and walked a couple feet, but by the time the night came around she was barely responsive. Sunday my mom was in incredible pain and spoke maybe 3 words. By this time all my aunts were either there, flying in, or in the car driving. I went to get some groceries to make dinner and said I'd be right back. This was the last time my mom kissed me on the cheek. She could barely lift her head or pucker her lips. I came home 15 minutes later to my aunt in the kitchen. We talked for a bit and then I went over to my mom. The time had come, it was beginning. She stopped responding. She was breathing but wouldn't wake up. The next couple days and nights were spent by her bedside. I slept in a chair at night holding her hand. I left to go see the funeral director as we knew it was a matter of time and got the call that it was starting. I rushed home trying to make it in time, but when I walked through the door she was gone. Everyone believes she waited until I wouldn't see, protecting me yet again. I have something inside me that's pushing me to tell these hard parts of her story. She would want anyone to keep fighting. She would want them to not believe the first doctor and to get a second and third opinion. She would want her story to help someone else. My mom's faith through the entire journey was remarkable. She believed that god had a plan and that was why she forgave the original doctor. It's true she was curable at one point, but she said that if God wanted her to live she would. She didn't believe people were meant to be bitter even through all of her hardships. I remember asking her if she was afraid of dying and her concern was that I wasn't ready for her to leave. My mom is undeniably irreplaceable. She is the Queen B. She is the reason I cherish art. She is the reason why I do everything to support the music scene. She is the reason I try to find grace in all situations and only find the best in people. She is the reason I try to be selfless like her and why I will constantly fight to be a better person than the day I was before. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be half the woman she was. I just hope I make her proud. Her struggle is over and even in her passing she continues to teach me how to find strength. There's a void in my heavy heart that will never be filled. I love you forever lady. Thank you for everything, always. I hope that wherever you may be, there are NO peppers on your pizza.