#next thing you know he's beaten the imperial inspector half to death (instead of y'know. bribing him.)
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so now you're stuck with this lame loser of a liege lord because how the fuck do you explain that after a peach garden oath?
#you are NOT ride or die unless you were liu bei's earliest followers those guys were GOING THROUGH IT#ok so ur boss maxed out his charisma + luck and fuck all else. his resume is literally four letters long (做草鞋的) he cannot fight his way out#of a silk purse#he's got the secretly-royal-farmboy backstory going on#which would be a stupid fucking cliche if this wasn't the literal 3rd century#and the trope is actually brand-new. and he's SO fucking charismatic people believe him#after ur militia get ur asses kicked fighting literal peasants he somehow fails upwards into a decent low-level administrator job.#you think to urself “oh good maybe this will teach him maturity. things are looking up”#next thing you know he's beaten the imperial inspector half to death (instead of y'know. bribing him.)#so now yall gotta to skip town. ur THIS close to joining the Other Guy (sure he's a POS but he's got a decent 401k) but next minute#this loser has just saved a village from bandits bc he's a huge bleeding heart. now hes getting all sentimental and calling you his bro#so you keep putting it off but now you've waited too long and it would be awkward so. all hail the emperor of shu ig. long may he rein.#rot3k#liu bei
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