#ningyokin

[dizzygrizzlies]

i don't think ill ever NOT be mad about how unfulfilling swimming is in a human body. literally no matter how or where you choose to swim it's always restrictive and takes so much out of you, even if you're good at it. not doin it for me.. we NEED to revert back to fish as a species

[dizzygrizzlies]

traveling inland for the first time and being more than 30 minutes from the ocean at any given moment is making my stomach turn

[dizzygrizzlies]

kelp forest exhibit at birch aquarium 🐟

[dizzygrizzlies]

the whole aquarium was really nice but the moment i got to the kelp tank i was just completely overwhelmed with homesickness, it felt so safe and nice and i stood there for a good ten minutes and then had to come back later and stare at it more. i wanted to just live there and hide among the kelp

also got to pet a shark puppy which was very cool! i will post pictures momentarily

[dizzygrizzlies]

just started watching luca and the mention of a phantom tail.. 😭 i adore it

[dizzygrizzlies]

why am i getting noemata from luca noooo. i’ve always had noemata associated with italy ever since i was little so perhaps it’s just blending with the fish person theriotype i’ve already confirmed but? uhhhh

[dizzygrizzlies]

my family’s been bugging me to find things to do when they come over for vacation, i’ve been pretty apprehensive about going out to do fun stuff while my country’s still in this state it but i’m going to see if there’s ocean related stuff we can do? last time we went to see dolphins (i can post pictures in a bit if anyone’s interested) but that seems to be off the table this year & the pier near me might also be a bit crowded.. there are some beach trails though and a place i know with tons of marine life. i’m just itching to see the ocean again, it’s been years now and i’m only about 10-30 minutes away? aaargh

[dizzygrizzlies]

i keep having dreams where i end up on a beach and i’m like ‘oh hell yes! ningyo time!’ and just barrel towards the water but i stop a few feet in front of the water for some stupid reason. like i’ll refuse to go in because my brain decided ‘this is just a dream it won’t be as exhilarating’

last time i had that dream, i saw the ocean from afar and got super excited, but by the time i got there the beach was literally packed with humans. like, you could not move at all. everything was dirty and smelly and dismal, they were all huddled together and i just sat at the edge of the water and hugged my knees like ‘how... am i gonna swim now’

probably just me projecting. i hate when i go somewhere to really embrace my theriotypes and be dumb and wild but then get self-conscious because a few other people are in the area 

[dizzygrizzlies]

it’ll be ages before i see the ocean again but the air is crisp and cold today + the sound of cars going down my flooded street sounds like the ocean and i love it