#no one is doing fictional christianity like tamsyn muir

[hypothetical-library]

biblical shit/jesus stuff off the top of my head of kiriona gaia/gideon nav in no order:

survives the massacre of innocents

killed (stabbed!) and comes back later

there is a rock and a tomb and it is rolled away

crown of thorns/finger bones

child of god with a woman who chooses to have this child to save the world

returns with wounds still open

returns not to be a part of the world but to sit at the right hand of the father

brought back by this father

not to be that person but jesus of nazareth and gideon nav both named for places they are not truly of

denied/betrayed by one of their closest companions (judas/peter; harrow)

[wordsifelt]

Thanks for answering my question. Can I ask your best recs for LGBTQ+ media (tv series or books or manga/manhwa)?

I'm from a country that saw LGBTQ+ as something taboo and my family also think it's sinful. So my LGBTQ+ mainly are from BL and GL manga/manhwa (sorry if I'm wrong)...

Thanks if you want to answer me....

Hi again! I know how you feel, my country's also not great with queer issues. I've only recently started exploring outside the BL/GL subgenres so I may not have as varied a selection as I'd have liked to give you.

I've done a similar post recently but this time imma really go all out. I'll categorise them based on the type of media.

Danmei

Heaven Official's Blessing by MXTX : mlm, Chinese historical fantasy(tw: Violence, gore, death, like A LOT)

Mo Dao Zu Shi by MXTX: mlm, Chinese historical fantasy (tw: death, gore, violence, homophobia)

Peerless/Wushuang by Meng Xi Shi: mlm, historical fiction, murder mystery, enemies to lovers (tw: violence)

(Note: there's a lot more danmei I love but these are the ones I've rated highest, will attempt to make a masterpost or smthg for the rest laster)

Dramas

Not Me (Thai): mlm, political, secret identity, enemies to lovers (tw: violence)

Bad buddy (Thai): mlm, rivals to lovers, family drama

Novels

Peter Darling by Austin Chant : mlm, trans mc, written by a trans author, fantasy, fairytale retelling (tw: severe transphobia, violence and gore, also there may be an age gap but it's not specified)

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver: Non-binary MC, queer romance, very informative and heart warming (tw: transphobia)

Spell Bound by F. T. Lukens: Non- Binary MC, queer romance, urban fantasy, rivals to lovers (sorta).

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo: Queer rep, Poc rep, disability rep, just very good rep in general, fantasy, found family (tw: violence)

Magnus Chase by Rick Riordan: One of the main cast of characters is gender fluid, and is also involved romantically (later on) with the MC, also great representation in general, fantasy, Norse mythological fiction, found family

All For the Game trilogy by Nora Sakavic: mlm, sports, mafia, slowburn, explicit and emphasized consent, enemies to lovers, found family. (tw: violence, PTSD, trauma relating to past SA, etc)

Loveless by Alice Oseman: Aroace MC, university life, queer exploration, found family (tw: aphobia, stereotyping and stigma)

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir: wlw, space, necromancy, cool stuff, enemies to lovers (tw: violence, death)

She Drives me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen: wlw, sports, fake dating, very cliche but I loved it.

Tv Shows

Heartstopper: mlm main couple, also includes a lot of queer representation, found family (tw: homophobic, transphobia)

Good Omens: Genderfluid MCs(altho usually male presenting), slowburn, Christian derivative mythological fiction, very queer, slowburn.

Our Flag Means Death: mlm Main Couple, lots of other queer characters, pirates, found family (tw: gore and violence tho not much)

I've left out anime and manga/manhwa/manhua cause there's a lot of stuff and I'll have to sift through to find the ones which I consider good rep. May make a post on that later. I also sadly have only a few recs for non mlm fiction mostly cause I've only found a few so far I've really liked.

I hope you like some of these if not all of them. If I've made any mistakes or missed out on some problematic stuff pls do tell me so I can learn from it and fix it.

[geminosophy]

through reddit, I've discovered the concept of tulpae.

As someone who has long struggled with suicidal ideation and executive dysfunction, I am very familiar with the idea of wishing that someone else could take over my body, and put my life to better use than I can. I have also always been interested in psychology and learning about the theories behind the formation of the mind.

I was raised Christian and taught about the concept of the soul. However, I was also introduced to other belief systems growing up and consumed a lot of fiction, so I never had one strict concept of the self. Recently, I have been interested in media which explores the concept of multiple minds existing in one body (Apple's Severence, Robin Hobb's Realm of the Elderlings, Tamsyn Muir's Locked Tomb, Disco Elysium). While it is not my chief motivation for choosing media, it is clearly a topic which fascinates me.

I also love children, especially babies, and have spent the last 5 years working in a school. I have interacted with and cared for children throughout my whole life, which seems to have given me more of a love for kids than many of my peers. Due to multiple factors in my life, however, I am not confident that I will ever become a parent or raise a child, nor do I necessarily feel equipped or morally justified in pursuing such an immense undertaking. Nevertheless, I find the concept of caring for a new human and having the privilege of introducing them to the world enticing.

As a kid, I often enjoyed narrating my tasks and interactions with the world as if explaining them to someone from the past, or an alien who had no concept of the normalcies of my life. Maybe this can be connected to my propensity towards teaching (i.e. being a talkative know-it-all), but I also enjoy appreciating the world from a unique perspective. Part of this undoubtedly stems from the fact that I have never felt completely comfortable in my own existence, and have long struggled with feeling "other" and unworthy and apathetic towards pursuing life in a socially accepted manner. In my adulthood I have been diagnosed with ADHD and depression, and a therapist has noted my lifelong tendency towards suicidal thought processes. Despite my trust in the knowledge of medical professionals and medicine, it's also clear to me that science has not fully unraveled the peculiarities of how brains work, especially in regards to neurodiversity and emotional states.

Today I discovered the idea of creating a tulpa, which was summarized with the quip, "Talk to the void until it talks back." I have spent time internet reading about alters, DID, inner child, shadow work, lucid dreaming, spirit/demon guides, manifestation, the Gateway Tapes, universal energy, and so on. The tulpa subreddit was my first introduction to the concept of intentionally creating a mental space for another consciousness - one formed from your own neurons, as opposed to an outside consciousness, or a splitting off of your existing identity.

I have often heard the rumor that we do not use our full brain power. Although I know this is scientifically inaccurate, I have often felt that my self- my personality, my identity, my soul - has not been able or willing to utilize all of my potential. I lead a very interesting life in many ways, with access to a lot of resources, and yet I feel my one small existence is not able to fully appreciate all of this. I do not feel confident projecting my mental energy on an outside force which I have no real knowledge of, nor do I feel like summoning my inner child will be an accurate recreation of my past self due to the changes of time. On the other hand, the idea of letting a new consciousness germinate in my neurons I'd something that seems both possible and accessible. Maybe it's just allowing myself to experience life in a new way, but I have seen that the perspective of a small child (a fresh existence) helps one interact with the world and themselves without the mental burdens they carry with their own identity.

I once had a professor who took issue with the widespread usage of the word "seminal" as an example of the way patriarchy prioritizes the importance of the sperm in conception. Instead, she preferred the word "germinal" to express the way something larger grows from something smaller with care. In imagining my new headmate's existence, my brain mistakenly provided me with the word "geminating" to describe this process. I quickly realized that this also phonetically resembles "Gemini," which is of course linked to the concept of two intertwined souls. In searching for other usages of this word, I discovered that combining it with the suffix "ology" created a new word which has not been utilized previously on the internet. I feel this word can define a process I am interested in exploring further!

[youreyeslooklikeblueberries]

In lieu of a year-end letter, a few family members and I put together a little wrap up of our reading lives this year. Inspired to post on tumblr by @door‘s wonderful yearly wrap ups. Write up under the cut if interested!

Reading was definitely the best thing about most of my 2020. We all had…rough years and mine was extra rough. Books, even the depressing ones, were a definite bright spot.

By the numbers! I read 125 books this year, by far the most since I started keeping track in 2015 or so. 43,176 pages, which averages out to a little under 188 pages per day. Not all days were created equal, however! I read the most books in August (18) and the least in March (7). I’m guessing I had a hard time focusing in March due to having just been discharged from the hospital (not a great place to focus, surprisingly enough) and the whole global pandemic thing. I found my groove though!

76% of the books I read this year were written by women. In the past I’ve made a conscious choice to read more books written by women, but this year I didn’t even try. I’m proud of myself! Only about 30-35% were written by people of color. Definitely a goal to up that number for next year.

A few favorites from the year. Still gotta read more non-fiction!

Fiction: -My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite - (NOT a commentary on my real life sibling I assure you) A quick read. Darkly funny, and at times just dark. 

-Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler (and its sequel) - the Queen of speculative fiction (along with Ursula Le Guin of course). Possibly a little close to home as it’s based on a near future dystopian America ravaged by climate change and plague and lead by a horrifying christian religion. Re-read.

-The Best Bad Things by Katrina Carrasco - a woman in the late 1800s west coast America dresses as a man to work for a smuggling ring. Violent, queer, sexy. Are we surprised I liked this one?

-Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (and its sequel) - Lesbian necromancers in space. That will be all.

-My Antonia by Willa Cather - I should have read this a long time ago, but that just means I got the joy of reading it for the first time this year!

-The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel - She wrote Station Eleven, one of my favorite books of a few years ago. This is a very different book (there’s no global pandemic in this one) but it might be just as timely. Told in shifting timelines, a story of what happens when people have their whole lives pulled from under them.

-The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells - Four Novellas and one Novel. Just an absolutely delightful series about an AI that hacks its security protocols. All it wants to do is watch soap operas, but humans keep putting themselves in danger. Very dryly funny.

-A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine - some really excellent world building sci-fi about politics, propaganda, and the danger of those in power.

Non-Fiction -Say Nothing - A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe - pretty sure everyone has already read this but if not it’s well worth it.

-Born to Run - A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall - thanks Jenny for the recommendation. Very inspiring if you’d like to take up running.

-Know my Name by Chanel Miller - truly striking story of trauma, resilience, and the active failure of the system.

-The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson - like every other white person in the country, I read it this summer and learned a hell of a lot about something we really should have been taught in school.