#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)
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okay, umm…
#what news am i supposed to share again…?#OH. RIGHT#i was way too nervous to talk about us and our system so i deflected it the entire session by bringing up other things :(#i… don’t know if we should keep meeting her or not. i feel. afraid? around her so… i personally don’t want to.#it’s going to be so hard both asking and coming up with a reason why we don’t want to work with her anymore…#because we can’t disclose our plurality to our mom. but i can’t just lie and say we’ve worked on all we needed to and we feel much better.#mphfh. we have our second counselor we could tell but… words. but if she also responds negatively then we’d have two counselors that this#sounds so mean but… we can’t work with because it’d only damage us in the long run? and our plurality needs to be involved in therapy for#any of it to be remotely successful in us healing from trauma AND it cannot be focused on final fusion and our plurality being something so#horrible that we have to cure no matter what. i’m tired…#i wish it didn’t have to be like this… by this i mean so stuck without any actual beneficial help…#we Could talk about the situation with the forced dormancy and attempted forced fusion with others it’s just… blagh. words?#it feels like… we’d be making it about ourselves All The Time. that and… maybe i’m terrified that it’s true it’d be better if we were what#everyone else wanted… one singular person that will do whatever they were told whenever they were told… my heart hurts.#i think i should rest soon… maybe i could ask feliks to cuddle me so i can go to sleep easier?#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)
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a… little nervous about our upcoming appointments…
#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)#lulz: text (he/bun)#on tuesday we have that um… visual physical examination? and sti/std testing? which is. really scary to me :(#i know it should be fine! and we’ll have a team that’s trauma-informed! but still! i’m scared…#i hope the team is trans friendly… and won’t be weird about us needing to bring our plushies as support…#and then on wednesday we go back to her. i hope we can reach a point of understanding but if not then. we’ll stop seeing her.#it’ll be. such a hassle finding another counselor and or therapist that knows what plurality is and isn’t. i don’t like to be rude but an#asshole about us being a plural system and plurality as a whole!#sigh… i guess we’ll tell our other counselor? i don’t know if she’ll be Good about it or not…#or if she’s ever even Worked with a plural being before. who knows.
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dinner time :D
#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)#lulz: text (he/bun)#three: text (he/him)#v1: text (zx/xe/wav/midi)
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… well. what now?
#ivy: text (they/she)#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)#v1: text (zx/xe/wav/midi)#we’re trying to think of what we could do. but all of it leads to nowhere or is practically summed as:#just keep living. and hoping that they’ll return and that the situation doesn’t become worse.#current mood: Incredibly Solemn.#do we grieve? i guess we already are.#it’s just… it’s not fair. can i say it’s not fair? it doesn’t make sense but it… feels close enough.#i don’t want to give in. at what point does it become less hoping and more stubbornly refusing to accept that they’re gone forever?#… i need to talk to moon and feliks soon.
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chili dogs 4 dinner!!
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tired but don’t want to sleep…
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counseling soon... scary.
#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)#i REALLY don't want to do this but i think i'm frontstuck so i can't switch out...#depending on how this appointment goes it'll determine whether we keep seeing her or not...
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nervous pacing…
#we had our testing done today… we couldn’t bring ourselves to be comfortable enough undergoing the visual physical examination part of the#process so all we did was get swabs done (which we performed ourselves. we’re really relieved they allowed us to self-swab…)#if i remember right they’ll contact us back if we test positive for anything? i do not know how long it’ll take to get results back. that is#saying there’s anything To Be notified about.#we do feel a little bit bad for not being able to go through with the visual checkover but we could not get comfortable with the thought of#being seen Nakey. especially by a team of healthcare workers we haven’t met before… i know it’s their entire Job but still.#we need Some foundation of trust and comfort before even Attempting to do anything that… major? sure. yeah.#outside of that it was a general check-up and it was kinda neat!#when one of them were checking our heart she gave us a stethoscope so we could listen to our heart murmur (innocent; we inherited that and#in irregular heartbeat from our mom. it’s not a cause for concern we’ve been in before and they say our heart’s fine despite the oddities.)#and it was pretty cool!! it sounded like when you drive through a tunnel but not as noisy… a quiet whooshing sound.#there Is something to be worried about and that’s somehow our top left molar is cracked?? i son’t know how that happened? none of use have#noticed any pain… like. ever. so…?? maybe we chewed down on something tough and cracked it? who knows. not me!#but we’ll be seeing a dentist soon… especially since we don’t know how long it’s been cracked for.#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)#three: text (he/him)#v1: text (zx/xe/wav/midi)
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snake pant
#snake pant!#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)#lulz: text (he/bun)#we need to finish trimming and change out the soil of our snake plant… it’d be easier to do it all outside during the daytime!
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shower… the soggiest…
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clarifying really quickly: we won’t use our signoffs all the time (especially if we’re blurry) and tend to only apply them on posts we ourselves make. we use signoffs mostly to show who's in front, but we've started to drift to using it in a more who wrote what way. if you wish to address a certain question to a specific sysmate, don’t be shy to do so!
all signoffs will be (name): text (pronouns) [e.g. #death: text (he/they)] (side note: we’ll specify if need be, like if the pronouns don’t all fit within the tag word limit.)
as of roughly june 7, 38 sysmates are dormant. their names have been all been moved to the bottom. the currently active sysmates are:
eevee - eev/vee/eevee
feliks - paw/mrrp/purr
ivy - they/she
lulz - he/bun
moon - she/it
nine - any/all
noob - he/fun/confetti/pop
three - he/him
v1 (vivi, verity, vesper) - zx/xe/wav/midi
everyone else is below:
ace - he/him
blizzardfang - he/him
chance - he/they/luck
condie - it/its
das - he/they
death (thirteen, thirteeny, tt) - he/they
denver - he/him
dragon - he/him
five (harper, spencer, piper, pip) - he/they
flies - he/him
four - any/all
fluttershy - she/they/candy/sugar/fae
great ice dragon - they/it/ice/shiver
hewitt - he/they
juice - he/him
kirby - any/all
larimar - they/it/blue
leafpool - she/they
mabel - she/her
mark - he/she/xe/it
max - xe/xem
mya - they/paw/she
moonwatcher - she/they/void
nan - he/they/it
nathaniel - they/he
nyancat - it/paw/meow/rainbow
ottilie - she/her
owen (buttons, phoebe) - hi/plush/soft/heart
parker - he/him
reader - they/them
rodnet - he/they/it/net
seven (lucky, wya77, sony) - it/se/lux/shinx
siffrin (sirius) - he/they/shy
ten - she/her
therm - he/him
trip - they/them
wy8 - they/it/robo
1x - he/she/they
marketplace (mark2) subsystem tag: marketplace deals
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chilly dogs? let them inside so they warm up, then!! >:/
chili dogs 4 dinner!!
#noob: text (he/fun/confetti/pop)#YES if i see the opportunity to make a little joke I WILL TAKE IT#!!!!!!!!
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