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mothmansbutt · 5 years

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i dont know why i got an anonymous submission of the entire script of happy feet but here we are

(SINGING) Once way was a way, to get back homeward…

(Are the stars out tonight?)

Once way was a way, to get back home…

I only have eyes

Sleep pretty darling, do not cry…

for you….

And I will sing a lullaby…

With the song in my heart

So, tell me…

Tell me something good…

Tell me that you love me

Tell me baby

Tell me something good

Only you…

Norma Jean: But how you can know for sure?

Can make this world seem right…

Norma Jean: Is there really just one?

I need your love…

Norma Jean: So many songs, but i’m feelin’ so lonely!

Where is the love?

Norma Jean (SINGING)

You don’t have to be beautiful..

To turn me on..

I just need your body baby

Other penguin: Hello…

Norma Jean: From tusk ‘till dawn..

(it is me your looking for….)

you don’t need experience

(take…)

to turn me on

(this broken wings)

you just leave it up to me

(let’s talk about eggs baby, let’s talk about you and me)

don’t have to be cool to be my pearl

don’t have to be cool to rule my world

ain’t particular song i’m more compatible with,

i just want your extra..

(STOP SINGING) boys, boys. Give a chick a chance.

(Memphis singing) Well since my baby left me

I found a place to dwell

It’s down at the lonely street, at heartbreak hotel.

I’m feelin so lonely baby

I’m feelin so lonely…

Oh i’m feelin so (Norma Jean) lonely… I could die.

(Memphis) don’t have to be cool to be my girl

(Norma Jean) don’t have to be cool to rule my world (Memphis) you rule my..

(Norma Jean) you’re the particular song i’m more compatible with…

I just wan’t your extra time and your kiss (Norma Jean and Memphis)

His mom and dad met in the usual way.

The song became love…

…and love became the egg.

Memphis?

-You got it, sugar? -Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Safe and warm.

Hold it tight, now.

Whoa, l think l felt a move in there.

And in the usual way…

…the moms left for the fishing season…

…while the dads stayed home to do egg time.

You gonna be okay, Daddy?

Oh, sure, honey. We’ll be waiting for you, right here on Lonely Street.

I love you more and more, tell me why

Bye-bye, now.

Goodbye, Norma Jean. Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t wanna let you go

I never can say goodbye, boy

When all others leave…

…we remain!

When the sun vanishes…

…we remain!

I’m feelin’ so lonely I’m feelin’ so lonely–

Heed the wisdoms, brothers! Make a huddle!

Warm thy egg!

Make a huddle!

-Share the cold! -Share the cold.

Each must take his turn against the icy blast…

…if we are to survive the endless night.

Raise your voices, brothers!

Give praise to the Great ‘Guin…

…who puts songs in our hearts and fish in our bellies!

Ain’t no particular song I’m more compatible with

Oh, baby, l think l wanna dance now.

No, no, no.

There is a wisdom, brothers and sisters…

…that stands above all others.

-Never, ever… -lt’s okay.

-…no matter what… -No harm done. See?

…drop your egg.

No, we’re cool. We’re cool.

Of the many thousands who sang through that long night of winter…

…it was Memphis who cried out most fervently…

…to turn the Earth and bring back the sun.

-lt’s a boy! -Hey, it’s a girl!

-What a peach! -What a bruiser!

-Come here, son. -Come to Daddy, there you go.

Son, you have made your daddy so proud.

lt’s all genetics, you know.

Memphis?

ls everything okay?

l don’t know. l can’t hear anything.

-ls it empty? -Honey.

-Can l have it? -Gloria.

lt’s okay, Maurice.

lt happens sometimes, Memphis.

Yeah.

Wait, you hear that?

-Yeah. -Hey, l can hear you, buddy.

Oh, your papa’s here, it’s okay.

Oh, he’s okay, Maurice. Whoa, there it is!

That’s his little foot there.

There’s his other one.

That’s different.

Hey! Come back here, Mr. Mumble.

Gloria….

She can call him whatever the heck she likes.

Whoa, little Mumble.

-Mumble? Mumble? -You okay?

Freezing. Freezing.

Oh, you’ll get used to it.

Come on. Come to your daddy.

-What do you make of that? -Little wobbly in the knees.

-ls he okay? -l don’t know.

What you doing there, boy?

l’m happy, Pa.

What you doing with your feet?

They’re happy too.

-l wouldn’t do that around folks, son. -Why not?

-Well, it just ain’t penguin, okay? -Okay.

Yeah. Hey, come on over here. Get under here. Get warm.

Watch the beak. Watch the beak– Beak!

The beak.

Okay, good boy.

So late. What’s keeping them?

Pray, brothers, the Great 'Guin does not test us with a lean season.

Why, Noah? Have we not all been dutiful?

So when you see your mama….

-l stand perfectly still. -You got it.

But how will l know which one’s my mama?

Oh, you’ll know.

She’s got a wiggle in her walk and a giggle in her talk.

And when she sings, it darn near breaks your heart.

Hey, wait. l see them. l see them!

You’re right! You’re right!

Wives, ho!

Wait, no. Wait, no, Mumble, get back here. No, Mumble! Get back– Mumble!

Mumble! Mumble!

Mumble!

Michelle? Michelle?

-Roxanne? -Michelle?

Alfie?

-Maurice! -Michelle! Michelle!

Mommy!

Oh, she’s so darling.

Excuse me. Pardon me, pardon me. Mumble? Mumble?

Oh, Mumble.

-Mama? -Mumble!

Mumble!

Mama? Mama?

-Mumble, boy, where are you? -Mama!

Memphis?

Oh, Mama. Oh, Mama.

-Oh, my. -Daddy.

So where’s the baby?

Well, honey, l’ll find him.

-You lost the baby? Memphis! -lt’s okay.

-Mama? Mama? -Stay!

-Come to Mommy. -No, Mumble.

Mama, Mama.

Hey, what’s wrong with his feet?

Oh, that’s just a little thing he’s got going. He’ll grow out of it.

Mama!

Oh, Memphis, he’s gorgeous.

-lsn’t he, though? -Look at you.

l got something for you.

Open up.

Oh, l love the way she does that.

W, X, Y and Z

Good morning, class.

Good morning, Miss Viola.

Right.

Well, today we begin with the most important lesson you will ever learn…

…at Penguin Elementary.

Does anyone know what that is?

Anyone? Anyone?

Someone? Seymour?

-Fishing? -No.

Mumble?

Don’t eat yellow snow?

No, that’s not it, no.

-lt’s our Heartsong, Miss. -Thank you, Gloria. Excellent, yes.

Without our Heartsong, we can’t be truly penguin, can we?

No.

But, my dears, it’s not something that l can actually teach you.

Does anybody know why? Anyone? Anyone?

You can’t teach it to us, ma'am…

…because we have to find our Heartsongs all by ourselves.

Well done, you.

lt’s the voice you hear inside…

…who you truly are.

Yes. Thank you, Gloria. Excellent, lovely, thank you.

So let’s all be very still now.

Take a moment and let it come to you.

-l got one! -Pick me!

-Pick me! Pick me! -One at a time. Yes, Seymour.

Don’t push me 'Cause I am close to the edge

I’m trying not to lose my head

Yes, l like that one. l could really get jiggy with that. Lovely.

l’m ready. l got one.

Oh, l thought you might, Gloria.

Midnight creeps so slowly

Into hearts of those

Who need more than they get

Daylight deals a bad hand

To a penguin

Who has laid too many bets

That’s as far as l got so far.

-Oh, yes, lovely. Really lovely. -That’s beautiful.

Well, Mumble, since you seem so keen to share.

Mine’s sort of a boom and a:

And another boom.

You heard that in there?

-Do you like it? -l’m afraid that’s not a tune.

-lt’s not? -No, dear. A tune is like:

Oh, okay.

Who is that?

That is the offspring of Memphis and Norma Jean.

The wee hippity-hopper.

lt’s not funny!

No. No, not in the least.

A penguin without a Heartsong is hardly a penguin at all.

l think he broke my ear.

ln all my years, l’ve never, l mean–

And you having such fine voices. Well, it’s bizarre.

Did anything happen, you know, during early development?

No, all fine. Normal incubation.

-Right. -Wasn’t it, honey?

Yeah. Yeah, it was a tough winter, l guess.

Right, right.

-He did hatch a little late– -Yes, l understand. Yes.

-To think he might spend his life alone… -Quite, quite.

…never to meet his one true love.

Oh, please, Miss Viola, isn’t there something we can do?

Well, there is always Mrs. Astrakhan.

Mrs. Astrakhan?

lf anyone can, Mrs. Astrakhan can.

Can’t sing?

Can’t sing? Rubbish, darling.

Every little penguin has a song.

When l have finished…

…your singing will be giving everyone the goose pimple.

Now, to begin. First, we must find a feeling.

Happy feeling, sad feeling.

Maybe lonely feeling.

You feel it?

Good. Now, let it out.

Be spontaneous.

That, what is that?

l’m being spontan-you-us.

Darling, you want to meet beautiful girl?

You want to make the egg?

Oh, yes.

Well, sing! And no jiggy-jog. Do not move muscle.

No moving!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

Enough!

Okay. We go back to the top.

Forget body. Look inside soul.

Feel the feeling. Enormous feeling.

So enormous it fills whole body.

lt must escape or you explode.

-Now, open your little beak. -Come on.

Yes, yes. Lift up the head, that’s it.

Now…. Now….

Now

Disaster! Catastrophe!

l never fail before.

Never! Never!

-Well, l thought it was kind of cute. -But it just ain’t penguin, okay?

So what if he’s a little different? l always kind of liked different.

He’s not different. He’s a regular emperor penguin.

Hey, you know what? l can leave school.

l can go to work. The three of us.

Whoa, little fella. You ain’t going nowhere till you got yourself an education.

You get them singing muscles big and strong, you got that?

l’ll try, Pa.

You bet you will. The word triumph starts with try, and it ends with…?

-Umph. -That’s right. A great big umph.

l’m going fishing.

Oh, Mumble.

That first hard summer…

…while his mom and dad were working overtime…

…on the great commute to the sea…

…Mumble found a place away from disapproving eyes…

…where a funky little fella could be himself.

Hey, what you doing there, flipper bird?

Nothing. What are you doing?

Nothing. Just dropped in for a little lunch.

There’s food? Here?

Leg or wing?

Oh, no, no, wait. Not me, l’m a penguin.

Exactly. The flipper birds, that’s you, eat the fish.

The flying birds, that’s me, eat the flipper bird and the fish.

And lately, there ain’t a lot of fish.

-So…. -This time l’m getting the juicy bits.

-Me first! -Hey, you want a piece of me?

Hey, hey, hey! l’m trying to think about lunch.

Wait! Watch this!

Yeah, that’s weird, all right. Listen. For once, we’re gonna do this civilized.

-Now, get in line– -Hey! What’s that on your leg?

-What? This little thing? -Oh, no. Don’t start him on that.

Shut up! The little flipper bird asked me a perceptive question.

-A question like that deserves an answer. -Here we go.

l got two words for you:

Alien abduction.

-Oh, you had to ask. -Have mercy.

Quiet!

Now, little buddy, there is something out there.

Creatures. Not like us.

Bigger, fiercer, and smarter too.

-Ask me how l know. -How?

Because l’ve been captured by them, that’s how.

Unbelievable.

What do you mean unbelievable? lt’s true.

l’m sitting on a rock, minding my own business…

…when suddenly, they’re onto me.

These beings, like big ugly penguins.

Fat, flabby faces with front-ways eyes…

…no feathers, no beaks, and these– These appendages.

They probe me. They tie me up. They strap me down.

They take this pointy thing and they stick it into me.

And then, blackout.

Gosh.

l woke up and there’s this– This thing on me.

Every flying bird is dissing me, Hey, what’s happening, yellow leg?

lt was humiliating.

And then what?

lt was humiliating. What more do you want?

They could have eated you.

Yeah. Yeah.

l guess my pitiful cries for mercy appealed to their better nature.

Can l appeal to your better nature?

Nice try, kid, but no.

No. No. No!

What you doing down there, flipper bird?

Get up here.

Get back up here this minute.

Oh, great. You let him get away. Didn’t you?

All your screwy alien talk.

-Hey, l’m an abductee. -Abduct this.

-Don’t make me call Uncle Angie. -Oh, fine.

Where youse going? l’m an abductee!

-l don’t care what you are, l’m hungry! -Would you like to hear our specials?

How about fish? There’s no fish. How about penguin? There’s no penguin.

What are we gonna eat?!

There’s a world where I can go

And tell my secrets to

In my room

Paying no mind to his dancing heart…

…the kid saw out his school days at the back of the class…

…lost in his imaginings.

Now it’s dark and I’m–

What fabulous worlds lay out there, far beyond the ice?

–I won’t be afraid

Was there any place…

…where one small penguin without a Heartsong…

…could ever truly belong?

In my room

And so, a thousand generations ago…

…our forefathers forsook our wings for flippers.

You graduates going to sea for the first time…

…are to reap the benefits of their wise choice.

These are lean and uncertain times.

But by the power of the ancient penguin wisdoms…

…we, my brethren, will endure.

-Blah, blah, blah. -Norma Jean.

Who is he to say my boy can’t graduate? He’s not hurting anyone.

–true to our ways and you will always be worthy of this…

…our brave penguin nation. Excelsior!

Ocean, here l come!

You know what? We’re gonna have a little graduation ceremony of our own.

-You mean it, Ma? -You betcha.

-Excelsior! -Excelsior!

Keep it down.

-Pa. -Memphis.

-Go get them, tiger. -Thanks, Ma.

-Make every moment count! -Got you, Ma!

-Remember, Stranger Danger. -Yeah, sure, Pa.

And watch out for those leopard seals and them killer whales.

Mark this, Noah.

That boy was always a bad egg. l’m telling you, no good will come of this.

Guys!

Wait up!

What do you think?

-You first. -No, you first.

No. No, no, no.

Stop pushing!

-What was that? -l think it was the fuzzball.

See any blood?

What you waiting for?

Hey, Gloria!

Gloria, l adore-ia. l’d like to see more-ia.

Gloria.

-Mumble? -Gloria.

l’m sorry. l didn’t mean to….

Fall back, coming through!

Gloria? All my life, l’ve wanted to say that you’re so–

-Fish. -Yeah. You’re so fish.

No. Fish!

Fish!

Oh, that’s mine.

-That’s lousy. -You didn’t get one?

Sorry.

Gloria. You got one?

-Nope. Not this time. -You have it.

-Thank you, Mumble, but it’s yours. -l want you to have it.

-No. You caught it. You eat it. -l want you to–

Skua! You get back here!

-Come on. -Mumble! Let go!

Mumble! Let go!

You just let him get away!

-ls he breathing? -He’s certainly not eating.

Mumble? Are you okay?

Mumble?

Take the fish.

-What? -Take the stupid fish.

Oh, okay.

Thank you, Mumble.

You’re welcome.

–somebody to

Love

On this, our night of graduation, infatuation, illumination…

…top of the class, Missy Gloria.

Each morning I get up, I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

Take a look at yourself

Take a look in the mirror and cry a little

Lord, what you doing to me?

I spent all my years in believing you

I just can’t get no relief, Lord

-Somebody -Somebody

-Somebody -Please

Can anybody find me

Somebody to love?

-She works hard -Every day

Every day

Oh, I try and I try and I try

But everybody wants to put me down

They say, they say, I’m going crazy

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Got no common sense I got nobody left to believe in

What’s wrong with you?

-Mumble. -Yeah?

-lt’s better you just– -Yeah, l know.

-You listen. You know? -Yeah.

-Sorry. -lt’s okay.

-Sorry. -Sing the song.

You’re great. That was great.

Oh, baby, find me

Come on. Put your flippers in the air, now.

Find me somebody to love

l’m searching high and low.

l’m searching the high and low.

Yes, there’s somebody out there who needs to find me.

Somebody, anybody

l’m somebody.

I wanna love someone

Send someone over here

Can anybody find me

Somebody to

Love

Mumble!

-Who do you think you are? -Yeah, you’re spoiling it for everybody.

-Take a flying leap. -Yeah, jump in the lake.

Where is my baby?

Anybody find me, find me Find me, find me

Somebody

Okay, fellas. Cut it out.

l’m completely terrified.

Gloria?

Guys?

Get up here or l’ll come in after you.

-Safe! -Oh, yeah!

-You the bomb, bro. -That’s a 9.8.

-l give you 1 0. -Why?

Oh, no, no, no. Come on. Bring it. Bring it on.

-Kiss my frozen tushy. -Kiss it. Kiss it.

Come here, sausage. l take you with ketchup.

But first you got to catch up.

Oh, here he comes. You better move in a half an hour.

Let’s get out of here.

-Hey, amigo, do that again. -Do what?

-That thing with the– -The clickety-clickety.

-That. -Yeah, do it.

-Come on, come on. -Well, l just kind of go:

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Oh, nice.

And then this:

Way to go! lt’s amazing!

-Oh, the little whisker. -Look at him.

Oh, he’s leaving. Oh, no, that was his face!

Remember, dumplings, l know where you live.

Yeah, it’s called land, lard face.

Flop back anytime, rubber butt!

See you, fatty.

That’s cool. See you, fatty!

Did it take you a while to come up with that one?

All right, way to go, tall guy.

Give me fin, give me fin.

To the left, to the right I’m getting it, oh, yes

Look out, here I go

I got it, I got it, I don’t, I had it

Oh, my stomach hurts. l gotta pee.

Ain’t you coming, tall boy?

What, you got something better to do?

-No. -Well, then, come along, Fluffy, let’s go.

Hey, stretch, you like to party?

Party? l guess so.

Well, stick with us, baby.

Yeah, because we practically own the action here.

Mambo!

Everybody’s so…spontan-you-us.

Spontan-you-us!

And these are the bad times!

-Yeah, our food chain go loco. -Everyone a bit down.

But it ain’t gonna stop no party!

-Viva la party! -Watch me work.

Gosh, he’s eating rocks.

-You hear what he said? -Eating rocks.

But he had a rock in his mouth.

That’s no rock, hombre. lt’s love stones.

-For building the nest. -The one with the most pebbles wins.

You know:

You’re not interested in chicas?

-Hey, hey, hey. -You kidding?

Without us, the chicas got no boom.

-Why aren’t you collecting pebbles? -Pebbles, schmebbles, man.

We got personality, with a capital Y. Why? Because we’re hot.

Watch and learn, tall boy.

-Hey. Hey, baby. -Over here, mama. Chicky baby.

-Baby. -What are you looking at?

-You looking at me? -Come over here.

-Come on, mamí. -You see something you like, yes?

l don’t think so. Not tonight, baby.

Oh, don’t be so snooty, booty.

That’s the way…you like it, you like it

You want it, I got it Could’ve had it, you missed it

Look at the feet, huh?

-Where’d you learn that? -The big guy.

-He from out of town. -He with us.

-Do it again. -Do it, baby. Show me those flipping feet.

-No, no, no. Sorry, girls. -Some other time maybe.

You guys are soft in the head, okay?

Let’s go.

-Leave them wanting more, you know? -Hold back till the season.

-You show them what you got. -Either you got it or not.

-And the Amigos? -We got it!

You think l could get some of it?

Hombre, you’ve got so much already, you dangerous, baby.

You really think so?

You kidding? With moves like yours…

…you must have all the ladies drooling at your feet.

-l wouldn’t say that. -Oh, listen to him. He’s so cute.

Let me tell something to you.

Except for me, tall boy, you got the most charisma of anybody.

Put that ego away, Ramón, you’re gonna hurt someone.

You so jealous. Just a moment. l hear people wanting something.

Me!

-Mambo -Okay, you girlies, Mambo

One more time now, mambo Mambo, mambo, mambo

Mambo!

Your turn, your turn.

Oh, get down.

Man, this guy is so accidentally cool.

Okay, okay.

Mama!

Mommy!

Come on, Fluffy.

Oh, l love gravity.

-Oh, l feel like reminiscing. -Remin-icing?

-lt was too close. -Come on, come on.

Hey, guys! Where are we going?

-We relocating. -Placing ourselves elsewhere.

-But that thing, what was it? -How should we know?

-We’re penguins. -Very little penguins.

But where did it come from? lt’s so weird, so alien.

-What’s he talking about? -Some hombre called Elian.

l don’t know a guy Elian. l knew a guy named Estevan–

-Not Estevan, Elian. -Guys, we have a mystery here.

A mind-boggling mystery.

So? What are we supposed to do about it?

Amigos, we gotta get to the bottom of this thing.

Big guy, let me tell something to you. Come close. Don’t be afraid.

-You want answers? -Yeah.

-That’s all you need? -Yeah.

-Nothing else? -No.

Then this is very easy.

You go see Lovelace.

-Lovelace. -Go see Lovelace.

-Genius, Ramón. You are the man. -Thank you.

-l take a moment for myself. -Let’s go.

-Bow down. -You the man.

-That’s enough, l feel your love. -Who’s Lovelace?

-Lovelace is the guru. -Go see Lovelace.

-He got the answer to everything. -Everything.

-Really? -Ask him, he never wrong.

But first, you gonna need a pebble.

Hold it, y'all. I have a warning for the audience.

Ladies, please, avert your eyes…

…because I’ve been known to hypnotize.

You heard the voice, now you’re about to meet…

…the one and only Lovelace, in the flesh…

…right here, right on, right now.

The devotion, please.

Oh, yeah.

And now, your question.

Senor Lovelace…

…my wife has disappeared. ls she alive?

Is she alive now? Separate the truth from the jive

Speak to me, oh, mystic beings

Yes! She’s happy and you’re in her thoughts.

ls she with another male?

One pebble, one question. Next!

Oh, Serene One. Please ask the mystic beings…

…will l ever be as rich as you?

ln your dreams, Jean. Next!

-Go ahead. Go ahead. -Get up there, big guy.

-That’s it. Don’t be scared. -Gentleman, please! One at a time.

-We with him. -Yeah, we together.

-He got a beautiful question. Go. -Do it.

Just don’t look him in the eye.

Have you ever been abducted by aliens?

Excuse me? What kind of question is that? Next!

No, wait, senor.

l met a skua once, with something like that on his foot, said he was abducted by aliens.

This, friend, is my sacred talisman…

Talisman, talisman

…bestowed on me by the mystic beings…

Mystic beings

…during my Epic Journey of Enlightenment…

…to the Forbidden Shore.

Forbidden shore

Oh, say it one more.

-Forbidden shore -Oh, yeah

Wait, you saw mystic beings?

l hear them! They speak through me!

Oh, yeah.

There’s a power that makes me stand upon this tower!

Did they have front-ways eyes? Did they probe you? Strap you down?

Enough! Did they probe me?

Too many questions! You don’t have enough pebbles, fool.

You haven’t answered any of my questions.

-How many questions he got? -We’ve all got stuff to ask!

Enough!

You bring this stranger before me.

He doubts my powers. He compares me to a skua.

The voices are shrieking in my head.

They say, Lovelace, who is this fool?

Tell him! Tell him to go forth and multiply!

Come to think of it…

…why don’t we all go forth and multiply?

-Lovelace. -What he saying?

-lt’s mating season. -Already?

l will retire now to my couch of perpetual indulgence.

-Okay, ladies, who’s first? -Me!

One at a time. Don’t touch the talisman, baby, please.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What about us?

Lovelace, Lovelace, Lovelace!

Hear me!

There’s not enough love in the world.

Turn to the penguin next to you.

Put your flippers up. Fluff him up a little bit.

And give him a great big hug.

Okay, ladies.

Oh, make that little noise again, girl.

Hey, what he got we don’t got, man?

-What you hugging me for? -He told me to.

-Get away. -No, you like it.

Get off him, Ramón.

Stretch, got any stones where you come from?

-We don’t collect stones. -You don’t? Why not?

We live on the ice.

So how you win the heart of the ladies?

Well, we sing.

-Stop! That’s crazy! -You’re kidding, right?

No. We sing to each other.

lf someone special likes your song, you know….

Oh, and you have someone special?

-A tall beauty in your dark romantic past? -Of which you never speak?

Well, sort of.

Hey, let’s go check it out. Maybe she got some friends.

l like them tall.

lt’s never gonna work.

-Hey, big guy. -lt’s the loving season.

All you gotta do is sing.

That’s the problem. l can’t.

-You a bird, ain’t you? -All birds can sing.

I don’t sing like the birdie do

All right.

Find me, find me

What’s he doing?

-l think he’s singing. -l know singing, that’s not singing.

l heard an animal once do that, but then they rolled him over, he was dead.

Yeah. And when she sings, it darn near breaks your heart.

You in tragic shape, man.

-Don’t worry. We can fix it. -We can?

-Absolutely. We can. We can. -We can?

-Really? -Yes! Let me tell something to you.

-Come close. Closer. You wanna sing? -Yeah.

-You sure? -Absolutely.

You making fun of me? Then this is very easy.

Really? Gosh, if l could sing, that would change everything.

You will sing. You just got to do exactly what l say.

-Okay. -Did l say okay?

-No. -No. What did l say?

-Do exactly what you say. -Exactly what l say.

Don’t push me 'Cause I’m close to the edge

I’m trying not to lose my…

Gloria

It’s like a jungle sometimes It makes me wonder

How I keep from going under

Midnight creeps so slowly

Into hearts of those Who need more than they get

Daylight deals a bad hand

To a penguin who has laid too many bets

I’ll make love to you Like you want me to

And I’ll hold you tight, baby, all…

Gloria

The mirror stares you in the face

And says, Baby–

Shake a bon-bon, Shake a–

It don’t work

You say your prayers Though you don’t care

Boys! Boys!

Boys!

Mumble?

Mumble.

Oh, hi, Gloria.

And this is you?

Sure, it’s me. You like?

Well, l would, if it were really you, yeah.

Well, it is me, sort of.

Yeah.

Turn around.

-Turn around. -Why?

-Well, why not? -Well….

-What do you know? -Yeah.

My way

-Gloria. -Mumble, how could you?

Hello.

l know size can be daunting, but don’t be afraid. l love you.

-Gloria, please. -l love you.

-Gloria! -Gloria!

-Please, Gloria, wait! -Please, Gloria, wait for me!

-Stop it! -Okay.

Mumble, what could you possibly be thinking?

l don’t know what else to do.

Oh, Gloria, no.

Gloria

Go up there, right now.

Daylight deals a bad hand…

Gloria. Gloria.

Sing to this.

Mumble, you’re embarrassing me.

Baby…it don’t work.

Baby

So slowly

So slowly into hearts of those

Who need more than they get

Daylight deals a bad hand

To a penguin that has laid too many bets

The mirror stares you in the face

You say your prayers Though you don’t care And says, Baby…it don’t work

You sing and you shake the hurt

Dance!

Boogie wonderland

Dance

Boogie wonderland

Midnight creeps so slowly

Into hearts of men Who need more than they get

Daylight deals a bad hand

To a penguin who has laid too many bets

The mirror stares you in the face

And says, Baby…it don’t work

You say your prayers Though you don’t care

You dance and shake the hurt

Dance!

Mumble!

Boogie wonderland

Dance, dance, dance

Mumble

Boogie wonderland

My brothers

You look so beautiful to me, baby

-Mumble. -Hey, Miss Viola.

-All the love in the world can’t be gone -Mumble!

-All the need to be loved can’t be wrong -Mumble!

Disgraceful!

Who do they think they are?

Where is Noah? This is getting out of hand.

Hey, Memphis. lt’s your boy, Mumble.

-Mumble? -Mumble?

No, no. No, it's Mambo. O!

Baby. They’re saying, Mumble.

Boogie!

Behold, Noah, look!

This was an omen from the start and now we have this uprising.

Stop! Stop!

Stop this unruly nonsense!

Stop it right now!

A little self-control, if you please!

You bring this disorder, this aberration, to the very heart of our community.

Have you lost your minds?

-We’re just having fun. -Harmless fun.

Harmless? lt is this kind of backsliding that has brought the scarcity upon us.

Excuse me, smiley. Can you speak plain penguin, please?

He thinks the food shortage has something to do with me.

Do you not understand that we can only survive here when we’re in harmony?

When you and your foreign friends lead us into your easy ways…

…you offend the Great 'Guin.

You invite him to withhold his bounty.

-He rules the seasons. -He giveth and he can taketh away.

Wait a minute. Happy feet can’t cause a famine.

lf thy kind of pagan display did not cause it, then what did?

l think it comes from outside. Way beyond the ice.

There are things out there, things we don’t understand.

-Mysteries. -Mind-boggling mysteries.

-Mystic beings. -Yeah, aliens.

-He’s mad. -No, aliens.

-l hear they’re smart. -He’s insane.

No, they might be smarter than all of us. Who knows?

He drove the fish away, now he’s ranting this rubbish!

-Hey, let me tell something to you. -Don’t touch me, you filthy vermin.

-Hey, watch it. -And so it follows.

Dissent leads to division and division leads us to doom.

-You, Mumble Happy Feet, must go. -Hear, hear.

Don’t you take one step, sweetheart.

You have as much right to be here as any of these daffy old fools.

Norma Jean, l’ll deal with this.

Pa?

Mumble, you must renounce your so-called friends…

…your peculiar thoughts, your strange ways.

-Memphis. -lf we are devout…

…sincere in our praise, the fish will return.

-But, Pa– -Listen, boy, l was a backslider myself.

l was careless and now we’re paying the price.

What’s this got to do with Mumble?

-lt’s why he is the way he is. -There’s nothing wrong with him!

-Face it, our son’s all messed up. -He’s not messed up, hear me?

-Believe me, l know. -How can you say that?

Because when he was just an egg, l dropped him!

Memphis.

Mumble.

Oh, my poor little Mumble.

But, Mom, l’m perfectly fine.

-No. No, you’re not, boy. -That’s right.

For all our sakes, you must stop this freakiness with the feet.

Your father speaks wisely. Heed his suffering heart and repent.

But it just doesn’t make any sense.

Then your arrogance leaves us no choice!

No, wait.

Please, son, you can do this. lt ain’t so hard.

Don’t ask me to change, Pa, because l can’t.

And that, my brethren, is the end of it.

You, begone!

-Mumble. -No, Ma, it’s okay. lt’s okay.

Let me tell something to you.

When l find out what’s happening to the fish…

…l’ll be back.

Let me through? Let me through.

-Mumble, you don’t have to go. -Let it be.

-Gloria. -No. No, Dad, this isn’t fair.

Gloria, listen to your father.

My folks were always putting him down

Down, down, down

They said he came From the wrong side of town

He came from the wrong side of town

They told me he was bad

So bad

-But I know he was sad -So sad

I’ll never forget him The leader of the pack

We sing the heart of our true friend, Mumble.

You are a nation of peeny-weeny, piffling, piccolini, piddly-diddly pouft!

Together, we prevail.

ln the wisdoms, we trust.

We trust.

Look out

Look

Don’t worry, tall guy. My father also called me a pitiful loser.

Look how l turn out.

You’re not helping, Ramón.

He gonna be okay. All he gotta do is find out what happened to the fish.

-How he gonna do that? -He think of something.

-The aliens. -What?

-l’m gonna talk to the aliens. -How you gonna find aliens?

-Lovelace. -He don’t like you. He don’t like you at all.

That’s okay. l’ll appeal to his better nature.

-How you gonna do that? -Cruel and unusual punishment?

-Unimaginable torture? -lmaginable torture?

-Your singing? -No!

Can anybody find me…

-You’re cracking the ice! -Avalanche!

Yes, okay. Thank you.

Lovelace. You there?

Lovelace!

Lovelace.

Lovelace?

ls this a bad time?

l know we don’t have an appointment, but–

Just one question and l want a straight answer.

Where do l find the mystic beings?

Why don’t he speak?

Lovelace, you okay?

-Boy, he’s possessed. -lt’s a seizure! lt’s a seizure!

-Open the beak. -Grab his tongue.

He’s choking. That thing around his neck, it’s too tight.

-Well, why didn’t you say so? -On three.

Stop! Listen! No! Amigos! Amigos! Stop!

-What? -You’re hurting him.

Any better?

Lovelace, how did you get that thing around your neck?

-lt was bestowed on him. -By the mystic beings.

-They didn’t bestow it? -No.

Oh, come on, he don’t know what he’s saying.

You were swimming and it just got caught around your neck.

Oh, no way. He the guru.

Lovelace, did you ever actually meet a mystic being?

Officially?

No.

l knew it! lt’s all a lie.

But this belongs to someone.

lf we could find them, l bet you they could take it off.

Show me where you found it. l’m sure they could help us. You and me both.

Two words, three syllables.

-What is it? -You’re dying?

No, no, wait. Past, past, your past life.

You’re passing gas.

Now he thinks he’s an elephant seal.

No, no, no. Go over the mountains.

-Go over the mountains! -Through the land of the elephant seals.

-Beyond the land of the elephant seals. -Beyond the land of the elephant seals!

-Wait. -What?

l hear voices.

-There is a voice. -Where?

-There’s a little voice on the wind. -Mumble!

-Mambo? -Mambo?

-Listen. -Mumble Happy Feet.

-Gloria? -Gloria!

Gloria?

Hey, you got a stalker. She’s obsessed with you, man.

l can’t believe it’s you.

Of course it’s me.

What are you doing here?

All the love in the world can’t be gone

All the need to be loved can’t be wrong

-Oh, my. -So which way, twinkletoes?

No, no, no. lf you come, you may never get back home.

Fine by me.

Gloria, you have a life back there. l don’t. l mean, we don’t. Not out here.

How can we keep an egg safe? That’s if we ever had an egg.

Well, l don’t need an egg to be happy.

You say that now, but what about later when all your friends have eggs?

Then l’ll have you.

Now he’s going to pledge his soul forever.

-Aw, Gloria. -Here it comes.

l’m a particular kind of guy, the kind of guy who needs his own space.

lt’s not you, it’s me.

l’m just not up for a serious relationship right now.

What he’s trying to do now is he’s pushing her away.

-Mumble. -Let’s watch.

No matter what you say or do, you’re stuck with me.

Oh, come on. As if you’re not totally thrilled that l’m here.

-Now she got him on the ropes. -See, right there is your problem.

You think you’re irresistible, don’t you?

l don’t care where you’re from, that’s got to hurt.

-Excuse me? -Gloria’s so gorgeous, Gloria’s so talented.

What?

Just because you can hit a few high notes.

You got a problem with my singing?

No, it’s perfectly fine.

-Fine? -lf you like that sort of thing.

-lt’s a little Nana Tootsie for my taste.

Ouch

What?

You know, showy, flashy, froufrou.

-Froufrou? -That’s right.

Ah, Coming from someone who thinks it’s cool to jig up and down really fast on the spot…

…like some twitchy idiot.

Ugh! You stubborn, hippity-hoppity fool!

Right back at you.

Ugh!

Amigo, that was a good thing you do.

She is going to be so much better off without you.

She is going to find a good, steady guy to comfort her…

…and love her up real good and raise a big family.

-Ramón. -And then she’s going to let herself go–

Ramón. He’s hurting. He’s hurting bad.

Oh, listen, listen, don’t hold it in or you explode. You got to let it out.

You just let it out. You let it out.

Everybody, turn away for a moment.

If she leave him now

She take away the biggest part of him

Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo

Don’t, baby, please, don’t go

Please, guys.

No more singing.

Then she say to me, Enough, you are making me nauseous.

So l become silent, almost moody, and you know what she says?

You never share. You got to let it out.

-Ramón, come on. -Let it out. Let it out.

Stop it! Let it go.

-l never had a good relationship in my life. -Give him a hug. Give him a hug.

-l let it out! -There we go.

-l let it out. -l know. Get over it.

-Can you keep going? -Yeah.

-What’s that smell? -lt wasn’t me.

Hey, Fluffy, we’re following you. Get up here.

So these elephant seals, they’re not penguin eaters, are they?

l don’t know. l believe they are herbivores.

-What? -You know, kelp-suckers.

Here we go, Lovelace. Come on.

Jump in time. Jump in time.

-Okay, let’s do it. -Okay, okay, okay. Ready?

l can do this. l can do this. l got to trick myself.

Boy, look at that. What?

You blokes better be lost, because trespassing’s a crime.

-We’re just passing through. -Yeah. We’re with him.

Oh, You wouldn’t be heading over them distant hills…

…and through the blizzard country?

lf it’s the only way to the forbidden shore, yeah.

Crikey.

You might come face to face with an annihilator.

An alien annihilator?

Too right. Cut you up as soon as look at you.

Waste every living thing in their path.

Could they be annihilating the fish?

Every living thing.

Merciless, mate. Merciless.

Even if you’re a whopping great whale…

…they drag your sorry carcass ashore…

…dice you up, melt you down, and turn you into fun food.

One day you’re a big old whale…

…next minute…

…fun food.

Someone’s gotta stop them.

Oh, yeah? What’s gonna be your approach?

lf l could just talk to them.

Appeal to their better nature.

Beauty.

When that crafty little trick pays off, you be sure to let us know, won’t you?

All right, Lovelace, let’s go.

See you, Lovelace.

Your funeral, mate.

Oh, man!

-Push tight. -Okay.

Come on, guys. Let’s do it.

You can do it. Come on, push!

What’s that noise?

There’s no noise.

-No gasping. No wheezing. -Where’s Lovelace?

Sometimes a brave penguin will just slip away to die.

Do you think he went to a happy place?

-Probably. -No, no. l think he went this way.

Come on. Let’s go.

Lovelace!

Hello?

ls there anyone there?

-No– No need to shout. -Somebody might hear you.

His feet don’t look too good.

-He rested here. -Now he’s on his belly!

-No, this way. -You don’t want to know what he did here.

-You’re right. -There he is. Lovelace!

-All right! Lovelace! -Lovelace!

-Oh, look at Lovelace. -We’re here.

-Are you okay? -Come on, man. Hang in there, buddy.

What is it?

Oh, look. There’s one for everyone.

Hang in there, Lovelace. l know they’re here somewhere.

-Why would they leave all this behind? -l don’t know.

Hey.

-Tell them we come in peace. -We come in peace!

-Lovelace. -Lovelace.

-Lovelace. -Oh, buddy, come on.

-Are you okay? -Hang in there, buddy.

-Oh, that’s not good. -Stay calm.

-Stay calm. -That’s not good.

-Okay, don’t stay calm! -Panic!

Oh, no, no!

-Oh, they’re making us appe-teasers. -They’re appe-teasing us!

We’re all gonna die.

Whatever you do, stay out of the water!

-Stay out of the water. -Don’t go in the water!

Lovelace, don’t go in the water!

Lovelace, hang in there!

Hang in there!

Get your dirty tongue off him!

No, no, no!

Stay out of the water!

-Mumble! -Mumble!

-They playing birdminton? -No, it’s a show. Dinner and a show.

Lovelace!

Rejoice!

Lovelace!

-Help! -Reach out!

Thank you, my brother, thank you!

l wasn’t scared! l wasn’t scared!

Oh, my beautiful brother, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

-Go, Lovelace! You the man! -Go, go, go, go, go!

Enough!

lt’s a bad day for you!

You dealing with Lovelace now!

-And my man, Mumble, here. -You tell them, Lovelace.

Begone, demon fish. Adios.

That’s right.

You hightail it back to your mamas.

-How did he do that? -Don’t make me come in the water.

l’ll come after your sons and daughters.

l’m gonna give you the bad eye.

A whole bunch of them.

They gonna rule the world.

lt’s gotta be them.

-lf it is, l don’t wanna know about it. -They don’t even know we exist.

Let me tell something to you.

This is the end of the road. lt’s over.

You did everything penguinly possible.

-You found the aliens. -We gonna testify to that.

We’ll tell your whole laughing-boy nation they were dead wrong about you.

Now, let’s all go back home. Right now.

Right on.

-Could l ask a favor of you? -Sure.

-What kind of favor? -Could you make sure Gloria’s okay?

-And my ma. -What?

And if you see Pa…

…tell him l tried.

Okay, what you talking about?

l’m gonna stop them taking our fish.

How you gonna do that, Mumble?

Adios, amigos!

Amigo! He did it.

You believe that?

How we gonna tell his mama he bring us all this way just to kill himself?

No. He didn’t. Look.

He loco maniac.

First ever flying flipper bird.

How tall you think that tall boy was?

Who could say? Taller than anyone.

Hey, it’s me, Lovelace…

…formerly known as guru.

l’m gonna be telling your story, Happy Feet…

…long after you dead and gone!

Hey! Hey!

Enraged by their indifference…

…he followed them long after they were gone from his sight.

He ventured further than any of us had gone before…

…beyond all hope of return.

Swept up by the great currents…

…he was carried endlessly across vast oceans…

…to worlds unknown.

Excuse me. What is this place?

You’re in heaven, Dave. Penguin heaven.

ls it anywhere near Emperor Land?

lt’s wherever you want it to be.

Try the water, Dave. lt’s really real.

I heard tell, when he finally saw aliens up close…

…they were just as the skua had described.

Excuse me. Why are you taking our fish?

Big, ugly penguins without feathers on their fat, flabby faces.

Why are you taking our fish? You’re kind of killing us out there.

No! No, wait!

Oh, my.

Hello. Hello from Emperor Land. Good afternoon.

Why are you taking our fish?

l’m sure you don’t mean to, but you’re causing an awful lot of grief.

Am l not making myself clear? l’m speaking plain penguin.

Penguin! Don’t you understand? You’re stealing our fish.

Oh, please, anyone, talk to me!

For pity’s sake, you’re stealing our F-l-S–

After three days, he would lose his voice.

After three months…

…he would all but lose his mind.

So you found the fish, baby.

Ma?

-Hi, sweetie. -Ma.

Fluffy, no matter what they say or do, we never stopped believing in you.

So you’ll be back soon, right?

Hey, come on. Let him eat.

Go ahead, Dave. Don’t mind us.

But there’s plenty for everyone.

lt’s okay, sugar. We can wait.

No, no, Ma! Ma!

There’s lots here. Ma!

Ma!

-Kids, you gotta see this. -He’s on now.

Hey! Hello!

-lsn’t that the fellow with the wacky feet? -Looks like.

-What was his name? -l thought he was dead.

-Everybody– -Apparently not.

Everybody, listen up! l’ve got big news.

l know who’s taking the fish!

-Yeah, and they took his brain. -lt’s the aliens.

-l made contact with them. -The lunatic is back.

The aliens are taking our fish.

Someone ought to fetch Noah and the elders.

Hey, you.

Gloria.

Kind of weird, seeing you again.

Yeah.

-Everything cool here, baby? -You remember Seymour.

Yeah. Hi, Seymour.

Yeah.

So which one is yours?

All of them.

This is our singing class. He teaches rhythm. l teach the blues.

-So you’re not–? -l guess l never heard the right song.

That’s great! l didn’t mean….

l found out who’s taking the fish.

They’re big and kind of ugly, but, Gloria…

…the things they can do. They’re coming here.

Oh, is that so?

They’ll be here soon. l think they wanna help us.

So now you speak with them?

Well, they don’t speak penguin, but they seem to respond to this.

-What’s he doing? -You gotta be kidding me.

l suggest we all do it. lt really gets their attention.

And why would it do that?

Beats me, but it works.

-Hey, it’s the hippity-hopper. -Freaky feet!

Boys, boys–

-Fluffy. -Tall guy.

-Stretch! -Amigo!

So you dare come back?

He says he’s found aliens and they’re taking our fish.

He says that they’re coming and we all have to do this.

There be no such thing as aliens!

Mumble, turn around.

lt’s a disease.

ls that from them?

Yeah. But don’t be afraid. l think it’s a way to find me, that’s all.

You led them here? You turned them on your own kind?

Wait a second, you just said there’s no such thing as aliens.

Well, there’s not.

But if there were, only a traitorous fool would bring them here.

But they have to come.

They’re the ones taking our fish. They can do something about it.

None but the Great 'Guin has the power to give and take away.

The Great 'Guin didn’t put things out of whack, the aliens did.

A fool returns this day to mock our suffering.

We are starving and he wants us to hippity-hop.

So do we hold fast to our ways…

…or do we bend to the fetid fantasies of a dancing fool?

Say, how does that feet thing go again?

Yeah, show us, Mumble.

Oh, it’s really quite easy.

No, no!

No, you must resist!

That’s right.

-Pointless nonsense. -Resist! Stand your ground!

Stand your ground against this folly!

Raise your voices, brothers.

Cry out in defiance of this jiggity-joggity!

Show me what you got.

You got it.

Come on.

Work, work it.

Yes, yes! Call on the wisdoms!

Let the world tremble!

For when all others leave…

…we remain!

Mumble! Mumble!

Mama? Amigos.

-Oh, Mama. -Oh, my boy.

-My gorgeous boy. -Oh, Mama.

-Look at him. -You’re so dazzling.

-Oh, Fluffy. -We waited and waited for you.

-Oh, yeah. -Where’s Pa?

Believe me. You don’t wanna see your deadbeat dad.

-Your pa is sort of…. -What?

Come on, l’ll show you.

Memphis?

Pa?

Mumble?

ls it truly you?

Every last bit of me, Pa.

l thought….

Pa?

There ain’t been one day…

…not one day, that l done right by you.

Oh, Pa.

Dance for him, Daddy.

Dance with your boy.

You’ll have to forgive me.

The music’s gone clean out of me.

No, it hasn’t.

lt’s just like singing with your body.

Come on, baby. We can do it.

Oh, Mama.

lt’s just one big old foot after the other.

That’s it.

Yeah.

-Yeah, see? -Well, that feels good.

You don’t have to be beautiful

Yeah, Memphis.

To turn me on

Daddy.

I just need your body, baby

From dusk till dawn

You don’t have to be rich to be my girl

You don’t have to be cool To rule my world

Ain’t no particular song I’m more compatible with

I just want your extra time and your…

Holy flock!

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.

l think you better dance now.

First, there was just one. Now there’s thousands.

-Are they trying to tell us something? -What’s the problem?

-We’re messing with their food chain. -We’ve gotta do something.

-We suggest a ban on all marine harvesting. -Too much money. Too many jobs.

Why should we do anything at all?

They’re just a bunch of flightless birds at the bottom of the world.

l don’t wanna live in a world without penguins.

What are we gonna do about it?

Bang up the sign No Fishing.

ls equal to the love…

…you make.

Oh, baby. Right on.

Looking back on when I Was a little nappy-headed boy

It’s like a jungle sometimes

It makes me wonder How I keep from going under

Bring it on! Go ahead!

Even though we sometimes Would not get a thing

We were happy with The joy the day would bring

I wish those days Would come back once more

Come back those days, those days Come back, don’t go

Come here, babe. Come on back.

Come on back

-Come on back -Come on back

I love them, I love them

Those days, those days Those days, those days

Those days

#submission #I have #no words???????#???????????????#WHAT IS HAPPENING #this is the most concerning anon I've ever received in my inbox #???????????????????

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emilysarsam · 6 years

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Women on the London Jazz Scene: Inspiring a generation of female jazz musicians

In this paper I will be discussing gender dynamics in the context of the current London Jazz Scene. This scene offers an interesting field to explore the powerful roles that women, such as Yazz Ahmed, Emma Jean-Thackray, Alya Al-Sultani, Nubya Garcia to name a few, are playing in inspiring a new generation of, especially female, jazz musicians. The idea to write this essay was inspired by my participation in the symposium “Making the changes: A powerful symposium for women in jazz”, which Issie Barrett organised in December 2017 at the Southbank Center and assembled over 70 people to speak about the current status of women in jazz. I feel it’s important to question the difficulties women and girls face when deciding to pursue a career in jazz, considering the art form’s historical importance in functioning as the voice of the oppressed, communicating the discriminatory practices of everyday life, and improvisation behaving as the ultimate symbol of freedom. One of my interviewees, Al-Sultani, believes that some actors in the jazz scene feel threatened by proactive and outspoken women. In order to prevent female jazz artists from becoming empowered by the sector, these actors have tailored the scene to function as a hostile environment. This reality clashes completely with Alya's interpretation of jazz as “politics of freedom”. To better understand this dichotomy, I will be drawing on the writings of scholars such as Ingrid Monson and especially Sherrie Tucker, who’s book “Big Ears: Listening for Gender in Jazz Studies” offered a valuable reference while exploring historical gendering in jazz and its influence on shaping the entire culture around it. In order to gain first-hand insight to current debates on gender in the London jazz scene I conducted interviews with Lizy Exell (English jazz drummer, member of the collective Nérija) from Jazz Herstory, a new web platform set up in July 2017 which seeks to address gender equality in Jazz, and Alya Al-Sultani, a vocalist and artist who released “Collective X”, a project which explores race, identity, and the black and minority ethnic experience through music. A lot of my opinions and views can be traced back to participatory observation during lectures, concerts and informal discussions with jazz musicians and enthusiasts alike.

The risks of gender-blindness and essentialism in jazz

I find myself rather ambivalent about writing this essay. As much as I feel it’s necessary to deconstruct issues concerning gender in jazz, I’m aware of the problems which this discourse can cause by pigeonholing women in the “gender” debate. I deeply honor and respect the artistry and talent of all of the women discussed throughout this paper and was drawn to them primarily through their music. This paper strives to present them as artists before anything else, while baring in mind the fine nuances of gender in this discussion and making assumptions as inclusive as possible, hoping to mirror their voices and opinions as genuinely as possible. A quote comes to mind by Norma Carson, one of the trumpet players from the all-girl band, “International Sweethearts of Rhythm”, who in Linda Dahl’s book, “Stormy Weather” said, "I've never found it an advantage to be a girl, if a trumpet player is wanted for a job and somebody suggests me, they'll say 'what, a chick?' and put me down without even hearing me. I don't want to be a girl musician. I just want to be a musician.” Lizy Exell tells me that she’s experienced the same thing and despite being disturbed by it has developed a resilience to not take this issue personally but rather regard it as a flaw of our times and society. She recalls going to jam sessions as a teenager in Dorking and being the only female in the room but never considering this to be an issue, she was too immersed in the music. She strongly believes that if you’re really passionate about something, you will pursue it regardless of the barriers which you’re confronted with. While she’s been strong enough to cope with the pressure women are subjected to as artists and performers, she’s aware that not everyone is able to do so. It’s only through this realisation that she’s opened her mind to reflect on the gender discourse and founded Jazz Herstory, which is a web platform through which she can educate herself and share knowledge and information about women in jazz. Similarly Alya, as a female jazz artist and woman of color, tells me that she’s been forced to create her own niche within the industry. Under no circumstance is she willing to adhere to the expectations which society have of women and artists. She doesn’t believe that people are likely to change any time soon, so she’s been forced to make her own change. Everything she does, is motivated by a deep passion and love for art, justice, and feminism, and it is thanks to her genuine drive that she excels in her field.

How can such pleads for gender-blindness in jazz be treated? What if we were to rephrase Ron Radano’s assumption of the problematic nature of labelling jazz as “black music”. He claims that the label evokes exotic and essentialist notions of blackness, but to ignore it would downplay the historical and current role that African-Americans play in shaping jazz in the face of power imbalances (Radano 1994, p.18). If we assume that the concept of gender, like race, is a social construct which was shaped by generations of imbalanced power dynamics as a tool of disenfranchisement, then how might Radano’s perspective apply to “female music”. Does this label immediately sexualise and romanticise music or is it a necessary term to balance gender representation? Wouldn’t a description like “female saxophonist” as opposed to simply “saxophonist”, rather perpetuate the reception of female jazz instrumentalists as peculiar or out of the ordinary? The discourse around the “colorblindness” of jazz, argues that artistic merit is to be valued, regardless of the artists’ race, ethnicity, gender, religion etc. Could this blindness however be understood as an ignorance imposed by white supremacy (Panish 1997, p.8) that has reached a certain status of dogma within jazz discourses, making it even harder for women and people of color to speak up about the prejudice, discrimination and hardship which they face? (Cole 2010)

Focus: the London jazz scene

The symposium, “Making the changes: A powerful symposium for women in jazz”, brought people together from various fields to discuss and identify barriers which women face in the jazz industry and to create a network of actors in the field. Most shocking were the statistics revealing the gender imbalance reaching throughout the entire jazz industry. According to statistics assembled by Issie Barratt in 2016, only 8 of 200 jazz instrumental professorial seats were held by women at 6 of the 7 conservatoires in the UK and less than 6% of jazz instrumentalists studying at the conservatoires were women. Only 5% of professional jazz instrumentalists identified as women. The figures of female journalists contributing to media outlets like “Jazz thing” or “Jazzwise”, as well as the disproportionate coverage about women in these journals, are equally unsettling, with women on average making it on to a mere 1-2 covers out of 10 yearly issues. The same situation goes for the United States, where only two female jazz instrumentalists have won the Thelonious Monk Competition since its initiation 30 years ago, and the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra only ever accepted their first female member in 2017, the same year they adopted the policy of blind auditions (Berliner 2017). As one can imagine, these numbers raised more questions than answers. How could the statistics be so low? How do the numbers of successful female jazz actors correlate to the number of “aspiring candidates” (Stephenson, 2017)? To what extent is the value of women instrumentalists’ artistry judged on the base of merit rather than sexism and misogyny within the system? If the number of aspiring female jazz instrumentalists is in fact so low, then can this be traced back to a lack of female role models? Or is this rather a result of women’s limited representation on the jazz market, be it in the media or at jazz festivals? Are female instrumentalists simply not interesting enough to break through in the mainstream jazz market, which is shaped by the male gaze and more interested in “seeing” than “hearing” women perform jazz (unless they are vocalists)? How can gender parity be assessed as long as there is a lack of female jazz journalists and promoters covering female jazz instrumentalists?

The group concluded that tackling these issues would require grass-roots approaches, beginning with education initiatives targeting toddlers. Creating and providing safe spaces where boys and girls alike could practice and “get things wrong”, would be necessary for them to “get good”. What they needed was a bully-free zone to experiment through trial and error. Improvising in music is risk-taking, often putting musicians in a vulnerable place. Wether they’re improvising or not, women are in any case subject to vulnerability as they are constantly expected to prove their skill. Errors during performances or rehearsals might be excused with an, “it’s because she’s a girl”, hence perpetuating the stereotype that “women can’t play jazz”. This is an environment which makes learning impossible as the subconscious lowering of potential discourages young women to make mistakes and learn from them (Berliner 2017). These are necessary measures to combat male structural privilege that has been taken for granted in society and continues to determine how women’s playing is judged and rated and actively disadvantage young women in jazz. Furthermore, we discussed the roles of bullying in educational institutions as well as on the jazz scene, and its impact on artists’ mental health. The feeling of being an outsider as the only women in the band or at a jam, in a classroom or on a board of professors is an issue which can significantly influence the self-esteem and confidence of individuals. Initiatives like Music Minds Matter by Help Musicians UK were already in place, offering support and help to anyone in the music industry who claims to be affected by bullying or depression. The debate about the lack of media presence and promotion sparked the idea of creating an online network which represented active female jazz instrumentalists. While some bookers or bandleaders were keen on booking women, they claimed that they struggled to find the exact profile that they were looking for, due to the lack of their exposure. The issue of modesty or insecurity might also discourage people, who might be active on the jazz scene but require promotion, from considering themselves “professional jazz instrumentalists/vocalists”. Online networks as such could give an overview of the available talent without forcing artists to leave their comfort zone and put themselves in to the spot light.

Predatory music environments

Speaking about safe places is important, regarding the rough nature of touring and nightclubs. Women who work in bands led by men, claim that they face traumatising experiences while being on tour. Issues range from the exposure to sexist and misogynistic behavior, to the consumption of pornography on tourbusses to the sexual exploitation of their female band members and other women they encounter while they’re on tour (Pellegrinelli 2017). It’s undeniable that these are uncomfortable situations which people might find hard to speak about openly, especially when their careers are at stake. Sasha Berliner, a jazz vibraphonist currently based in New York City, has used her blog to openly speak about the sexual harassment which she faces through her male mentors. She explains that these situations create dangerous dilemmas, for if she was to turn away a male musician who is interested in her sexually and is a popular figure on the jazz scene, then he’s likely to sabotage her reputation and claim that he doesn't like her playing out of anger for her unwillingness to cooperate. This type of sexual manipulation can have serious consequences on the careers and education of aspiring female artists (Berliner 2017).

Lizy is under the impression that some men lack the ability to appreciate listening to women and rather take pleasure in seeing them play jazz. She finds confirmation of this idea when observing the type of vocabulary which is chosen by some men to comment on and compliment women. Some of this social vocabulary perpetuates the normality of complimenting women by merely commenting on their looks. It’s equally important to note the important role which audiences play in creating an either predatory or encouraging atmosphere in jazz clubs. It goes to show that the typical audience in London’s more established jazz venues, which also happen to be late night venues, dark and very expensive, is predominantly white, male and over fifty. These types of venues filter out a large number of potential listeners who would otherwise be able to enjoy jazz concerts if they were held in more inclusive locations, hence regulating the exposure of jazz to a privileged elite (Ahmed 2017).

The scene’s not big enough for both of us!

Numerous participants of the symposium shared their experiences about not being invited to play at festivals or not being able to qualify for certain competitions and grants because, “another female artist had already been chosen”. For any more than a couple of very talented women to become successful was regarded as a threat to male structural privilege within jazz organisations and institutions. What this naturally does, is create a competitiveness between female artists fighting for recognition, hence hindering them to create an encouraging community through which they can lift each other up. On this note, Alya shares an interesting example illustrating reverse sexism and hidden racism. The Manchester Jazz festival had invited her to play with her project Collective X but told her that she needed to book more women in her group. Except for Alya, all other member of Collective X are male and people of color. She immediately withdrew from the festival, understanding the absurdity that women, due to current trends, were being given chances in jazz, at the expense of people of color.

Shifting gender - shifting parameters?

Shifting our perspective towards those who identify as non-binary or transgender, how are they affected by these conditions that tend to be dominating the jazz industry? During the symposium various experiences of gendered privilege and hierarchies within the jazz scene were discusses. A jazz instrumentalist who had undergone a sex transition explained that while they were perceived as male, it was taken for granted that they were a talented pianist. After transitioning however, they suddenly became a “gifted and extraordinary” female musician. People on several occasions would tell them “you play like a man” and regard this a compliment. This example proves that the visual has a bigger sensory impact on audiences “listening” to jazz, allowing their critical parameters to adapt to the gender of the performer. This leads to the conclusion that men are assumed to have a biological predisposition of being good at playing jazz, hence male jazz artists are regarded as natural while female artists are considered unnatural. According to these parameters, a woman’s talent in jazz musicianship can only be valued once it reaches a “golden” status of masculinity. Alya, who is both a classical and jazz vocalist, tells me that when she sings, she feels that she becomes an instrument of the music’s feminine force and power. I find this argument very interesting, considering the gendering of instruments and especially the stereotyping of the female voice as the only acceptable female medium to prevail in jazz. By owning her body and viewing it as an instrument, Alya empowers herself instead of letting stereotypes determine how she feels as a female vocalist.

These issues raised the topic of “blind auditions” and sparked discussions about their role in combatting gendered prejudice. Opinions were polarised, with some arguing in favor of them claiming they disabled a “male gaze” and encouraged more women or insecure people to audition in the first place, allowing equal chances to all. Those who argued against “blind auditions” worry that they simply perpetuate the stigma that women and men can not be judged by merit only and while they might encourage women to audition more, they do little to change the harsh realities that they face once they pass round one.

Women on the London jazz scene

The first time I saw Nubya Garcia live was back in October 2017 at a pub called “The Royal Albert” in Newcross, which hosts free concerts every Sunday evening. Together with her group, Moses Boyd on drums, Joe Armon-Jones on keys and Daniel Casimir on double-bass, they played tracks off her debut album, “Nubya’s 5ive”. Despite growing up in a household of musicians and being dragged to gigs throughout my childhood, I can count on one hand the amount of times that I’ve seen jazz performances being lead by female instrumentalists. Although I loved the music, I felt that every time I entered a jazz club, I was entering male territory, especially in my hometown Vienna, where the jazz scene is significantly smaller and more conservative. The environment in these venues barely let me feel comfortable enough to watch and clap but the thought of performing in front of such an audience was disconcerting to say the least. The notion of inclusivity and accessibility at the Royal Albert stood in stark contrast to the elitist jazz scene that I was accustomed to back home. It proves to show that the current generation of jazz artists in London is making a conscious effort to work on the scene’s reputation as an open community. Cassie Kinoshi, the alto saxophonist for the all-female jazz collective “Nérija” and leader of the 10 piece band SEED Ensemble, says it’s her goal to “make sure that people can view jazz as an accessible, down to earth music that is meant to be relatable” (Holder 2017).

Nubya isn't the only inspiring female instrumentalist jazz band leader on the scene at the moment. Artists like Yazz Ahmed, Emma Jean-Thackray, Alya Al-Sultani and Cassie Kinoshi are just a few of the inspiring women leading bands and ensembles in London today. Sheila Maurice-Grey, who is the trumpeter of Nérija and bandleader of KOKOROKO, an afrobeat band, speaks of the hard work and commitment that comes with being a female jazz bandleader or artist, her tasks ranging from booking, organising, performing, to composing. What lays behind the success of many young artists today, especially of women and people of color, is an incredible work ethic driven by factors such as structural gender and racial inequalities. (Holder 2017)

What strikes me most about the scene is its strong sense of community. Some of the musicians which I mentioned above have known each other for years, having been part of music education programs such as “Tomorrows Warriors”, and continue to contribute to and support each other’s projects. These young artists are doing the groundbreaking of guiding a generation of equalitarian musicians who are willing to collaborate rather than compete.

Sexualised stereotypes: “The Saga of Musical Clitoris”

I feel that, in the context of this paper, it is essential to discuss, if only briefly, Ethan Iverson’s interview with Robert Glasper for his blog, DO THE M@TH. Published in March 2017, the interview stimulated a fiery debate about feminism in jazz. Much of jazz’s gender debate has been deemed “compensatory”, as it has tended to focus on the achievements and lost stories of women had been marginalised and merely mentioned on the sidenote of jazz history. While this compensatory work is needed to advance towards equal representation, the interview reveals that the issue of women in jazz goes as deep as the gendered construction of the music itself (Mercer 2017).

RG: I’ve had people tell me about your music. Like women you would think never listen to jazz: Young, fine, Euro chicks ask me, “I heard this band, the Bad Plus, do you know them?”

EI: I guess that’s one of the reasons to play, really.

RG: Yeah, it’s awesome, something is there in your music that gives them entrance to jazz, otherwise they’d never cross paths with it. Now, I love playing a groove […] and I’ve seen what that does to the audience, playing that groove. I love making the audience feel that way. Getting back to women: women love that. They don’t love a whole lot of soloing. When you hit that one groove and stay there, it’s like musical clitoris. You’re there, you stay on that groove, and the women’s eyes close and they start to sway, going into a trance. (Iverson, 2017)

There is so much wrong with these few statements, beginning from Robert Glasper’s conviction that it is through his and Evan’s mastery of groove that women get “in to” jazz in the first place. These comments imply that they regard themselves as potent jazz musicians, claiming to know exactly how to stimulate a women through groove. Solos on the other hand, wouldn’t really do the trick, as women are not intellectually on par with men and therefore fail to enjoy the musical complexities of soloing. This assumption further perpetuates the notion that women don’t get jazz by “essentialising them as creatures of pure instinct”. (Mercer 2017)

Conclusion: the future’s bright

In an interview, Esperanza Spalding recalls overhearing a comment made by McCoy Tyner when asked about his opinion of women in jazz after playing with her. His answer, “oh, you know, she’s good, but I've never seen women that stick with it,” immediately mirrors disbelief of the long-term success of female instrumentalists in jazz, basically implying that we should enjoy her talent while it lasts. Does this stem from a deeply embedded patriarchal notion of conservatism which traditionally determined the woman’s role as a housewife who could be held responsible for little more than the household and taking care of children? Subtle comments like these prove to show that until today, jazz’s patriarchal roots run deep, inhibiting individuals to advance in their careers and passions and reach more “mature areas of their artistry” (Cole 2010).

Some would argue that, in recent times, there’s been a lot of attention paid to and coverage of female jazz artists, however “wider recognition for exceptional talents does not indicate a progressive shift in jazz culture as a whole” (Pellegrinelli 2017). I don’t mean to say an increase in media coverage is not helping in equalizing the status of men and women in jazz, on the contrary, I believe that this plays an important role in “normalising” reporting on women. It is only when the label “female artist” becomes redundant, that focus will shift to an investigative nature of a person's art. The stories of female instrumentalists have long been overshadowed by the hero status of great male jazz musicians in mainstream jazz narratives. The exceptional women who did manage to make it into the history books are mostly presented through their involvement with their male counterparts, like in the case of Alice Coltrane, who before being her own person, was John Coltrane’s wife and who’s biography is told through a listing of her male collaborators.

Now is the time to increasingly discuss and implement sustainable measures which encourage positive attitudes towards women in jazz. Many organisations, collectives and labels are working hard to battle these outdated prejudices and promote female composers and performers such as “Tomorrow’s Warriors”, the artist-led organisation “Blow The Fuse”, the artist development scheme “Serious” and its jazz initiative “Take Five”, PRSF Women Make Music, a fund to support female artists and Issie Barratt’s National Youth Jazz Collective (Ahmed 2017). These initiatives are crucial driving forces which are necessary to, not only include the gender perspective in the jazz narrative, but also change the narrative itself which has thus far been heavily embedded in sexism, merely perpetuating the desire for familiar jazz portrayals (Tucker 2001, p. 8). This paper is a homage to the role-models and people who are reshaping jazz and helping it become an accessible and inclusive art form open to all who share a passion for the music.

References

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Berliner, Sasha. “An Open Letter to Ethan Iverson (And The Rest of Jazz Patriarchy).” Accessed January 7, 2018. http://www.sashaberlinermusic.com/political-and-social-commentary-1/2017/9/21/an-open-letter-to-ethan-iverson-and-the-rest-of-jazz-patriarchy.

Cole, Tom. “Nine Women In The Room: A Jazz Musicians’ Roundtable.” NPR.org. Accessed January 7, 2018. https://www.npr.org/sections/therecord/2010/11/01/130978669/nine-women-in-the-room-a-jazz-musicians-roundtable.

Dahl, Linda. Stormy Weather: The Music and Lives of a Century of Jazzwomen. London: Quartet, 1984.

Holder, Nate. “How Women Took Over The London Jazz Scene in 2017.” A Worm In Horseradish (blog), December 29, 2017. https://aworminhorseradish.wordpress.com/2017/12/29/how-women-took-over-the-london-jazz-scene-in-2017/.

Iverson, Ethan. “Interview with Robert Glasper.” DO THE M@TH (blog), November 28, 2017. https://ethaniverson.com/glasper-interview/.

Mercer, Michelle. “Sexism From Two Leading Jazz Artists Draws Anger And Presents An Opportunity.” NPR.org. Accessed January 9, 2018. https://www.npr.org/sections/therecord/2017/03/09/519482385/ sexism-from-two-leading-jazz-artists-draws-anger-and-presents-an-opportunity

Panish, Jon. The Color of Jazz: Race and Representation in Postwar American Culture. First Edition edition. Jackson: University Press of Mississippi, 1997.

Pellegrinelli, Lara. “Women in Jazz: Blues and the Objectifying Truth: Video.” Accessed January 7, 2018.

http://jazzbluesnews.space/2017/12/31/women-in-jazz-blues-and-the-objectifying-truth.

Radano, Ronald Michael. New Musical Figurations: Anthony Braxton's Cultural Critique. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1993.

Rustin, Nichole T., and Tucker, Sherrie, eds. 2008. Big Ears : Listening for Gender in Jazz Studies. Durham: Duke University Press. Accessed January 8, 2018. ProQuest Ebook Central.

Stephenson, Emma-Grace. “What’s Going On With Women In Jazz?.” Stuff You Can’t Say With Jazz Piano (blog), March 12, 2017. https://www.emmagracestephensonmusic.com/single-post/2017/01/05/Whats-Going-on-With-Women-in-Jazz

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