#not as merch but like to keep as mascots and have them sit contently next to each other in some nook of my home

[canisalbus]

the anon saying they wish vaschete were plushies inspired me

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[officialgritty]

The Vermont Villains Staff List + some much needed additions

This gives a detailed run down of the basic premise of the team. I suggest you read them in order!

(this art is courtesy of @chaos-hockey!)

Okay first of all, here are some new changes/concepts that have spawned in the last few weeks. Anything in colour was suggested and all my own thoughts will be in black.

Assign players a number as they join the team and make them figure out what the Roman numerals mean {@nikolajehlers} I am personally fond of the number 4999 and would LOVE to see them all squirm.

Make them wear solar panel jerseys for any outdoor games and a type of Haka but with no cultural value. {@tkachuking-deuces} I see your Haka and raise you ‘The Offering’ where we sacrifice something before each game. It could be a sandwich or even cookies. Who are we sacrificing to? The hockey Gods. But who am I kidding, we’d probably be sacrificing something we stole from the other team.

Monday should have a puppet, like a rock puppet. His name is Kingsley. {@bowenbyram} I wholeheartedly agree and I have also decided that Monday can figure skate so he is wearing a pretty pink outfit with his iconic tool belt on top.

(Here I have drawn up my vision of Monday our mascot. I am new to digital art so please be kind.)

We love take care of our animals well, around the arena is a large U shaped paddock giving them space to roam as they please. Rink entry is through the small opening, giving all the opportunity to pass by the livestock. This also doubles as a petting zoo during the day.

Shredded cheese confetti anytime that a player has shot top cheese and have live cows that can be won. {@youngbeezersmixtape} I adore this idea but I think it would be even better if we also include blocks of cheese falling amongst the shredded cheese. These can then be traded in for a go at Cow Roulette, where you complete the mini game to win what ever the Cheese Wheel lands on.

Disco lights on the ice! {@connormcdavo} Absolutely and the best part is no one will know when they’re going to turn on.

When directed to your seat, the tickets will feature a format that may seem weird to some. For example, ‘Lot 6 George Robertson’. The seats are like graves and yes, it seems morbid but I thought it was funny because the draft drawing I made of it made them look like that. Don’t question me.

Lastly, please enjoy a run down of our staff and their job descriptions. I hope I didn’t forget anyone (as it was really hard to keep up) but if I missed you or you want to be included, send me an ask or message with your best offer.

Water Boy - @bowenbyram keeps everyone hydrated, definitely has face paint on courtesy of one of the players. It’s become a pre-game ritual.

Zamboni Driver - @hockeyismyfirstlove blasts tunes and drives the zamboni super slow, gives us longer breaks.

Sin Bin Slanderer - @dmonchld will be waiting for an opportunity to start shit. Sitting in the opposing teams penalty box, you guessed it, slandering the other team and hopefully causing them to take more penalties. Her post.

Assistant - @iwantahockeyhimbo aids me in all the tasks I don’t want to do.

Co-Coach and Co-Coach - @newanon @matthewthotchuk will be making sure the team is up to standard.

Ticket Box - @kelleyr will take pleasure in making sure everyone feels unwelcome at the rink. “If you need help finding your seat, just start screaming, someone may or may not come help.”

Athletic Therapist - @stuetzlesbitch is in charge of making sure the athletes are doing and feeling their best.

Creative Dairy-Or - @youngbeezersmixtape is in charge of all things dairy related, besides the ice-cream at least. This includes cow roulette and cheese confetti. Yes like a creative director but for dairy.

Creative Accountant - @babytkachuks uses some creative ways to get around budgeting and salary requirements.

Astrologist - @sortagaysortahigh organises our team based on their birth charts, finding who will work the best together and who would make the best chaos line.

Court Jester - @pitoftrash is tasked with entertaining during the intermissions, mostly just skateboarding on the ice in a jester costume.

Announcer - @kempe causes mayhem while talking/yelling to herself all game. It’ll be hard to constantly fill the air time (and read the jerseys) but she’s a Leo so she’ll be good at it.

Seamstress - @kspitehockey makes any adjustments to jerseys and or merch.

Monday’s Partner in Crime - @hoeglander is either Monday’s best friend or tour guide, who knows, but everyone enjoys seeing them because they know Monday is a teeny bit safer to be around when they’re there.

Canteen Staff - @Ben and @Jerry, they serve their own icecream.{@youngbeezersmixtape}

Equipment Manager - @tkachuking-deuces makes sure we have located everything, that the solar jerseys work and aids in planning the stealing of the other team’s equipment.

Team Mum - @scheifefe gives any pep talks needed to the rookies (and quite frankly anyone who needs it).

The Coated Cryptid - @d00dlebob wears a muscle suit but only the top half, covered by sweatpants and a fur coat with a laser pointer in her hand at all times. Can be found at the petting zoo or on the opposite end of the arena to Monday, no one really knows what she was hired to do.

Head of Marketing - @chaos-hockey works closely with both the seamstress and I to bring all ideas into creation. Responsible for making sure all merch is just as chaotic as the team is.

Lead interviewer - @loganstanley enjoys asking both the team and staff all of the hard hitting questions. The team and staff love trying their best to understand her accent, although most of the time these attempts fall short, leaving us with some wonderful media content.

That concludes today’s post but don’t fret, more is to come in the next few weeks. A roster and player personality run down has been created, as well as a couple extra treats.

We hope you enjoy your stay visit at the Gut Her Son arena.