#not necessarily rose but a rich older woman type

[sadesluvr]

Thinking about JJ with a MILF/Older! Reader, cause you know he’s definitely into them… (Mostly NSFW, he is 18+ obv!!!)

JJ! Who meets you at one of the many country clubs in Figure Eight. He’s a pool boy, and you’re the wife of some rich guy.

JJ! Who always finds a reason to be around you; offering you complimentary drinks without asking.

JJ! Who checks you out from afar, unable to draw his gaze from your bathing suit. It clings to your body perfectly, and he wonders whether your husband satisfies you.

JJ! Whose thoughts are always interrupted by the sight of your wedding ring gleaming in the sunlight. He knows he could never really have you - He’s a Pogue, and you’re a Kook - but the visual gets him through the day. It’s just a fantasy, right?

JJ! Who takes up the offer to become your gardener. He doesn’t know shit about keeping a plant alive, but he smokes weed and spends almost all of his time outside. It’s good enough for him.

JJ! Who begins to lose his mind once he’s near you. Your husband is almost never home, so it’s just the two of you. He’s always lost in the scent of your perfume as you pass him, or watching you groom yourself before you get ready to go to dinner. You’re gorgeous, and he needs to have you.

JJ! Who happily drinks or eats whatever you make for him. You always greet him with a sweet smile that makes him feel all warm inside…And hard below. He wants to see your sweet lips curl and part as he fucks you.

JJ! Who sneaks around your walk-in wardrobe when you’re out, pretending that he’s not looking for something in particular. He fingers your lacy lingerie, shutting his eyes as he imagines you in them, slowly being peeled off just for him.

JJ! Who can’t help but feel jealous when your husband comes home. Like any other Kook, he treats him like shit. He’s an asshole, and he wants nothing more than to fuck the shit out of you infront of him.

JJ! Who has a cucking kink. He's the bull.

JJ! Who's flirting becomes more blatant. He makes inappropriate jokes about your sex life, and notices how you dismiss him, but doesn't shut him out completely — You must secretly like it…

JJ! Who notices the way you check him out from the inside of your pool house, sipping on your wine as your lips linger on the rim of the glass for a bit too long. His ego is already soaring, but so much more as he sees you slip your fingers down your body, slowly disappearing into your panties…

[trashgoblin81]

The Winchesters and The girl

 Supernatural x OC 

Summary: Sky meets the boys for an unexplained murder. read to find out what happens.

Warnings: Cussing,death, sexual thoughts. let me know if i missed anything.

A/N:  I do not own supernatural but i do own the character. like for a part 2. I’m pretty bad at writing so if you have any thoughts or ideas please hmu.

I’m so tired. This last case tired me out.  I had to deal with a ghost, a very pissed off ghost might i add. This bitch wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone. Her name was Lilian Micheals, she passed away in the 1800′s, she was a rich farm girl that was ran over by a cultivator. She kept killing people at this plantation in the middle of the night, so i wasn’t able to get much sleep.  Not to mention the people she decided to haunt were rich, stuck up, assholes. But that’s alright, that didn’t stop me from stealing this beautiful necklace. 

It’s a sapphire necklace, real sapphire, I could sell it for money. Being a hunter is hard, which means credit card fraud and stealing. A girl has to get around somehow,  and you know what they say, a beautiful sapphire necklace is a girls best friend.   

For right now i’ll just get another drink. That is why I’m sitting at this bar, asking the bartender for another shot of vodka. 

“Long day, sweetheart?” said a blonde haired man. He was handsome,very handsome. He had emerald eyes and jaw line that could cut you. I want that jaw line to cut me.

“You don’t know the half of it.” I said. “What’s your name handsome?” 

He chuckled and held out his hand. “Dean, What about you sweetheart?” 

“Sky” I said as I took his hand in mine. “So tell me Dean, what is a man like you doing in a place like this? Surely your girlfriend is worried.” 

Dean smiled, “not really, considering I’m single, my brother on the other hand, he might be scared. He’s the soft type, the type that gets scared by little things, ya know.”  

I smiled at him. I was about to say something when a woman rushed in screaming.

“Help me, Help me please! He isn’t breathing! He was attacked! Please, oh God please help me!” she screamed.

 A couple of people looked at her like she was insane while everyone else thought she was drunk. Dean and I jumped up at the same time and started walking over to where she was. She started to run out of the bar and we chased her.

“excuse me, ma’am, come back, we can help!” I yelled as we chased her.

She stopped and looked at us, she was sobbing uncontrollably.  

Dean put his hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay sweetheart, calm down, can you do that, explain to us what happend.” 

“I don’t know, I couldn’t find my husband, so i walked out of the bar looking, and when i came down this alley he was-” she cut herself off by crying even harder, “I should have never taken my eyes off him. Oh God, Harold, I’m so sorry” 

“okay can you lead us to this alley?” I said. 

She nodded as she leaded us down the alley. That’s when we saw him and sure enough, he was laying there, dead. He looked as if a wild animal attacked him. She knelled beside him and held his face, sobbing even harder.

“I’m gonna call 911, Okay” Dean said to me as he stepped away. 

I hugged her for a little bit. Then, I got up and started to walk over to Dean.

“...well apparently not Sam! The son of a bitch is still alive and it just killed this girl’s husband.” I heard Dean say.  “Yeah, try and get your ass over here, we have more work to do!” 

Dean turned around and saw me standing there. He gave me a look. We heard sirens and saw flashing lights. 

“Agent what are you doing here so quickly?” the sheriff said.  

At first i thought he was talking to me until Dean spoke up. “his wife led me to him.” he said.

“Ah, I see, well, you know the drill, we have to evacuate the area.” the sheriff said to Dean as the other officer tried to get the woman off her husband.

“No, please, please let me stay with him, please!” she wailed.

“Ma’am, they can’t help him if you are in the crime scene, come with me.” i said walking over to her.

She looked at him and stood up, there was blood all over her shirt and jacket. “Okay, Please find who did this to him” she said taking my hand.

We walked past the cops and Dean. I made eye contact with Dean, there was something weird about him.

“I think i have a shirt you can wear in my bag.”  I said as we walked over to my car. I opened the trunk and grabbed my duffel, I searched for my black Guns and Roses shirt. “So whats your name?” i said.

“Molly, Molly Williams.” she said sniffling.

“Well Molly, My name is Sky Walker. Its nice to meet you.” I said handing her my shirt.

“Like Luke and Leia?” She asked.

I chuckled. “Everyone asks that. My real name is Sylvia, but i don’t like it that much, so i go by Sky.” 

“Oh.” she said.

I saw a yellow taxi pull up,a tall man with long hair got out and walked over to a Impala.  “Why don’t you go to the bathroom and get cleaned up and i’ll meet you in there.” I said as she nodded. 

I saw Dean walk over to the taller man. I  shut the truck and started to walk over to the both of them. 

“So now what Dean? We have no idea where he went!” the taller man said.

“ Maybe you should of check if it was dead before you left Sammy.” Dean told the Man. 

“You’re blaming this on me?! You were there too Dean, you could’ve check too!” he said. 

I heard them arguing when i got over to them. 

“What are you guys talking about?” I asked.

“Nothing Sweetheart.” Dean told me. 

“Really cause it sounds to me like two hunters failed to kill a werewolf.” i said. They both looked at me in shock and confusion. 

“Wait,” Dean said, “You’re a-” 

“Hunter, yes I am and a very damn good one, better then you two apparently. So, how are we gonna fix this?” I said cutting him off.

“Do you two know each other or something?” the taller man asked. “cause i can leave and let you two figure this out.” 

“Uh, no need Sammy and what is this us you’re talking about?” Dean asked you.

“ Look clearly, you and Sammy didn’t do your job correctly, let me help.” I said.

“Uh, It’s Sam, Sam Winchester, You already know Dean.” Sam said sticking out his hand, staring at Dean.

“Oh, The Winchesters, Nice.” I said grabbing Sam’s hand. “Sky Walker, nice to meet you.”

Dean smiled and spoke up saying “Like-” 

“If you say it, i might just punch you” I said irritated.

“Okay, why don’t we go to the place we buried the werewolf, see if its really alive” Sam said.

“And if it is, what are we gonna do? kill it again?” Dean said looking at Sam.

“Yeah.” Sam said.

“I can’t believe that you two are feared by almost everyone and everything. I’ll follow you.” I said as i started walking back to my car. 

They were actually really handsome in my opinion. They both were built and i would be dammed if their faces weren’t anything to ride on. I mean come on Dean, the older brother, very handsome and a face you could ride till the crack of dawn. And Sam, the younger brother, also very handsome and shoulders you want to wrap your legs around. This wasn’t gonna be so hard.

I got in my car and followed them. It was a short ride to basically the middle of no where. They slowly pulled into this field. We parked and i saw Dean get out of the car. He walked over to my window, i rolled it down.

“We buried him over there, Sam is gonna check to see if there is still a body” Dean said looking over at Sam.

“Shouldn’t we be over there helping him?” I said.

“Sam’s a big boy, right now i wanna know about you sweetheart.” he said looking at me.

“Guys, you might wanna come and look at this.” Sam said calling us over.

“I’m sorry Dean, Looks like your big boy needs us over there.” I said while rolling up my window and turning my car off. Dean smirked at me and opened my door for me. “What a Gentlemen.” I said sarcastically. Dean and i started walking over to Sam.

When we got there Dean looked down at the grave and said, “well would you look at that, the son of a bitch is still here.”

I looked at Sam then back at the grave.

“Maybe you guys stumbled upon a wolf pack.” I said looking between the both of them.

“Awesome.” Dean said grumpily.

“Lets just go back to the hotel and think about it, Dean.” Sam said as Dean started to walk back to the cars. “You wanna come back to the motel with us?” Sam asked me.

“You asked that like i wasn’t gonna follow you.” i said as Sam and i walked back to the cars.

I got in my car and soon enough i was at their motel room with them. It was a place to sleep but I wouldn’t necessarily say good, in my opinion it was very sketchy.

“Well you guys just picked the worst motel in Wisconsin, didn’t you?” I said looking back at the two boys who were sitting at the table by the window.

“Hey, i do see you staying anywhere at the moment, so don’t come after us for actually having a place to sleep, Okay.” Dean said.

“I don’t have a room to sleep in because i just got finished with a hunt in Ashland jackass, thats why in here in Sawyer.” I said looking back at Dean.

“Okay, no offence, but can you both shut up?” Sam asked.

i sat down on one of the beds. ‘So much for letting me help’ i thought. i just looked around. the wall was one of the ugliest things i have seen.It was shit green, with trees painted on it. And don’t get me started on the beds, how could anyone sleep on them. they were hard as a rock. And there was this weird stain on the floor. 

“So get this...” the sound of Sam’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. “There is a thing as wolf packs but they aren’t found around here. They are mostly found around Wyoming.”

“What the fuck? Then what the hell attacked that man and stole his fucking heart?” I said. 

“Well potty mouth, maybe we could go back and see the security cameras?” Dean said.

I just kinda stared at him, I couldn’t believe we didn’t think of that earlier. My head is somewhere else and it’s probably cause of these hunks of brothers.

“Why didn’t we do that earlier?” i said. 

“Alright, so lets go down there and see what we can find!” Dean said.

“Okay well, my tank is almost empty, can i ride with you?” I asked.

“well im surprised,you seem like the type that doesn’t ask.” Dean said.

“And you seem like the type that has to pay child support, but we are all full of surprises, right?” I said. Dean gave me look, like he was staring into my soul, meanwhile Sam was laughing his ass off. 

“Shut up Sam.” Dean said irritated while walking out of the room with his keys in his hands.

Sam slowly stopped laughing, standing up following Dean to the car, I followed Sam. Dean had already started the car and Sam got in the passenger seat. I opened the door and got in the back.

It was quiet when we pulled out of the motel and on to the highway. 

“So,” Sam said trying to break the ice “how did you become a hunter, Sky?” 

“I’ve been hunting since i was 14.” I said awkwardly. I’m not a big fan of talking about my past.

“Does your family know about it?” Dean asked while looking at me in the rear view mirror. 

“Uh,” I said trying my best not to get irritated. “My family is kinda, uh, dead.” 

The boys got really quiet. It was a thick silence.

“I’m sorry, we lost our family also.” Sam said. He was sweet and caring, that i could tell just by looking at him.

“Don’t be sorry, it was a long time ago.” I said. 

“Well if you don’t mind me asking, What happend sweetheart?” Dean asked.

“When i was 4 years old, uh, someone broke into my house. It was me and my 8 month old little sister, My older brother was spending the night at one of his friends houses.” I said taking a deep breath.

“They came up to my mother and fathers room, where my little sister was and shot my mother then killed my father by bashing his head in. I went in the room and saw them on the floor.”

“Oh my God!” Dean said breathless. “That’s horrible.” 

“That was just my parents, it got worse when i got older.” I said, I was hoping and praying that this ride would be over soon enough. And just as i hoped we were here at the police station.

“Okay, so am I going in with you? I have an FBI badge?” i said.

“You can go in, we can tell them we got more back up.” Dean said.

“Alright, lets go then” I said. 

We all got out of the car and walked into the station. You could tell that everyone there was stressed. 

“Agent Lincoln, Agent John, Im guessing you are here to see the Sheriff?” the deputy. “Who is this?” He said pointing to me.

“We decided that we needed back up so this is Agent-” Sam said but i cut him off.

“Agent Saunders” I said showing my badge. “We need to see the security footage from the crime scene earlier.” 

“You wanna see footage of a murder that happened at 11:30 at night? When it’s..” The deputy looked at his watch, “3 in the morning?” 

“Is that gonna be a problem, deputy?” Dean said looking at him with a confused look.

“No Sir,  right this way.” he said leading the three of us the the back. We were led to a room with a TV and a VHS tape player. The deputy walked over to a basket on a shelf in the corner. He pulled out a tape marked ‘WILLIAMS’.

“Here you go agents, I have to get back to my desk, now but do what you need to.” The deputy said, he looked a little nervous as he walked back to the front. 

“That was weird.” I said.

Sam picked up the tape and put it in the player. we saw the murder and the murderer. 

“Oh Come on, Really!” Dean said. I agree with him, out of everything that could of killed this man, why was it this?

Like for part 2!

one of my closes friends gave me the title, lol

Taglist: 

@super-gayqueen​

@strangehumanoidtreepaper

[artificialqueens]

Sweet like Sugar (Branjie) - Delia

AN: Hey lovelies! This is my first time writing fic, so please be gentle but also let me know what you think…a little Branjie sugar mommy for your nerves x ps: if you have any questions, comments or concerns feel free to hit me up on @thvnderfuckz pps: tw for some, very minor, implied daddy kink

BLH

25/F/New York City

I’m a 25 year old dancer from Toronto, working to start my career. I like fashion, nights out, and travelling. Seeking a partner who is fun, adventurous, and willing to support me in pursuit of my dream.

Brooke Lynn read over her bio for what must have been the seventh time in as many minutes and let out a sigh. Each draft that she’d written had sounded more robotic than the last. It’d been a long time since she had to write anything like this, having deleted Tinder, Bumble, and HER off her phone not long after she left Toronto. Since moving to New York, she’d discovered that she much preferred going out and finding women to hook up with in person. With her long blonde hair, dancer’s physique, and innate flirtiness, it was easy enough to find someone willing to take her home for the night. Easier, at least, than talking to a girl on an app for weeks, only to find out that she was interested in a long term commitment, and having to deal with their messy emotions after Brooke told them that she wasn’t interested. If there was one thing that she did not do, it was relationships.

And now, she was trying to get paid to be in one.

She’d be lying if she said that she never thought she’d be in a position like this. From the time Brooke had told her friends and family that she’d wanted to pursue dance as a full time career, she’d been given the “wouldn’t you rather something more secure” speech more times, and by more people than she could be bothered to count. Even her older sister Katya, who’d chosen to make abstract semi-sacrilegious art her vocation in life, had tried to suggest to her that she do something with a future that was less uncertain. But Brooke knew that she was born to dance, no matter what anyone tried to tell her to the contrary. If anything, their doubt fuelled her drive, and made it all the sweeter when she’d been offered a role in ensemble of the Broadway production of Moulin Rouge! upon her graduation from Ryerson. The moment that she’d stepped off the plane at JFK and stepped into the apartment that she would be sharing with another ensemble member from the show, Scarlet, she felt as though she was living her wildest dreams come true.

In all of her excitement at the time, Brooke forgot that the most wonderful dreams often lead to the harshest wake ups.

Four months into her run, the cast began to notice a dwindling number of fans at the stage door after each performance. Five months into her run, cast and crew alike began whispering about finding new jobs soon. Six months into her run, on a particularly humid Sunday in July, the cast and crew were gathered by the production team before everyone left the theatre and were told that the show would be closing at the beginning of September, after the Labour Day weekend. Brooke immediately started panicking at the prospect of being out of a job in one of the most expensive cities in the world. There was nothing she wanted less than to have to move back home to Toronto with her tail between her legs.

It had been two years since Moulin Rouge! closed, and although Brooke had managed to avoid making the move back home, she hadn’t been able to get a job performing since. She was always too tall, or too technical, or didn’t have enough personality. She’d been able to find a job in the meantime, teaching classes at a dance studio in Tribeca, but the money she made from that was barely enough to cover her necessities. It certainly didn’t cover luxuries such as brunch with your ex-roommate, as Brooke found out after her credit card was declined at her and Scarlet’s bi-weekly date. She barely had time to try and form an apology before she witnessed Scarlet reaching into her purse and placing a crisp one hundred dollar bill on the table, telling the waitress to keep the sixty dollars in change. Her embarrassed expression transformed into one of jaw-dropped shock as the redhead pulled her from the restaurant.

On the walk back to the subway, Scarlet revealed to Brooke that she’d been various “mutually beneficial relationships” with different men since she’d first moved to the city when she was 19, and that it had been her main source of income even while she was performing.

“It’s easy money, plus it’s kind of empowering,” explained Scarlet in her low voice, which still held a hint of the drawl indicative of her Southern upbringing. “It’s like, they have the money but I have all the emotional power. Without me generously donating my time to them, all these men have are their frigid marriages, or soul sucking jobs. A lot of the time the only thing standing between these powerful, rich men and a complete nervous break is me. And if that’s not power, I don’t know what is. So if I have to laugh at a few bad jokes and kiss a couple of CEOs to be able to live the kind of life I want, all while knowing that I could end any of these men at any given moment, then so be it.”

Oddly inspired by her friend’s speech, Brooke downloaded the sugar dating app onto her phone later that day.

And now here she was, sitting in front of her laptop at 11:00 pm on a Saturday night, drinking a bottle of wine and stress reading her three sentence bio for at least the tenth time. Fuck it, she thought, this is as good as it’s gonna get.

After clicking the “submit” button, Brooke was redirected to a page showing all of the potential sugar daddies in her area. As she scrolled through pages upon pages of photos of headless torsos, she became increasingly regretful of her decision to not filter out men immediately.

CEToEs

Disgusting.

KinkyExec

Nope.

DominantDaddy

Absolutely not.

Brooke was a lesbian, and had known that since she was 14. However, Scarlet told her that there were far more sugar daddies than sugar mommies in the New York area, and that a lot of the time the men didn’t necessarily even want sex. But as she clocked the usernames of several of the daddies on the app, it was clear that the redhead had either lied to her or was somehow the most blissfully oblivious girl in the city.

The blonde promptly returned to her settings page and deselected men as an interest. When she returned to the home page, she was delighted to see the profiles of fifty-or-so women pop up. She began scrolling again, hoping that someone would catch her eye.

WorldsMostPunkRockMoms

Meh. The two blonde women in the thumbnail picture were definitely beautiful, but Brooke didn’t know how she felt about getting involved with a couple who had a child.

Detoxicant

The woman in this picture looked like she’d had a lot of plastic surgery. Still, she was hot. Brooke tapped the little heart icon next to the photo and continued scrolling.

Toward the bottom of the page there was one profile that had a little green dot next to the thumbnail. Brooke took a little comfort in the fact that she wasn’t the only one on this app at this time on a weekend night. She clicked on the profile and two pictures filled her screen. The first was a headless torso shot of a woman wearing an oversized Versace t-shirt as a dress. Although her face was out of frame, Brooke could tell that the woman’s hair was a caramel brown, at least at the tips, and went to just below her collarbone. The second image was another faceless picture, but in this one the woman was wearing a spaghetti strapped red dress, showing off her deeply tanned skin and an, in Brooke’s opinion, weirdly specific chest tattoo of a hairless cat atop a red rose. The bio beneath the pictures read:

V 23/F/New York City

no face pics because i gotta stay lowkey. promise i’m not gonna kill you or anything like that, just lookin for a cute girl i can take out and trEat right.

Brooke rolled her eyes at the innuendo and let out a small huff of a laugh. The girl obviously had some sort of sense of humour, which she supposed was important. And it was pretty impressive that someone so young was in a position where they could support someone else financially.

The green dot was still displayed next to V’s username. She was still online. Brooke took a deep breath and clicked the chat icon at the bottom of the screen, typing out a quick, hopefully flirty-but-without-coming-on-too-strong, message.

BLH: I hate to break it to you, but saying ‘I’m not gonna kill you’ sounds exactly like what someone who would kill me would say ;)

Brooke quickly exited out of the app and opened up Instagram to check and see if Katya or her wife had added any new photos of their cats or dog. Before she could even begin typing her sister’s name into the search bar, her phone dinged, letting her know that V had responded.

V: hate to break it to you babe but saying youre looking for a partner sounds like youre tryna open up a lawyers office

Brooke swore under her breathe. She knew she sounded too robotic.

BLH: Oh god, I’m sorry. I’ve never done anything

V: lol relax mami, youre cute with all your worrying

She bit down on her lower lip, half in frustration and half trying to suppress a smile. V was already teasing her about her worrying, and they hadn’t even met yet.

BLH: Aren’t you more of the mommy in this situation though ;)

V: i mean i usually prefer daddy ;)

Brooke felt a quick rush of heat to her center at the word “daddy”. She closed her eyes trying to stave away memories of various nights in the alleyways behind various bars with various women.

BLH: I think I can make that work ;)

V: listen, not to be too upfront but youre gorgeous and id love to take you out sometime if youd want?

V: we could meet and figure out an allowance or something if thats what you want! ive done this once before and it was a really good experience for both of us…i gave her around $8000 a month for rent and stuff but we could figure out something specially for you if you need somethin different

Brooke could’ve sworn she felt her heart stop when she read the word “month”. She’d never been with one single person for more than three nights, much less on a month to month basis. But V seemed nice at least. And if not nice, she was at least experienced at this kind of arrangement, and was apparently quite generous to boot. Eight thousand dollars a month would cover her rent and utilities almost four times over. Eight thousand dollars a month would mean that she wouldn’t have to worry about getting her card declined at brunch. Eight thousand dollars a month meant that she wouldn’t have to pick up every possible shift at the studio, and could spend more time going to auditions.

Eight thousand dollars a month meant that she was definitely not turning V down right off the bat.

BLH: I’d love that. Name the time and place, I’m free when you are.

BLH: Daddy ;)

Brooke Lynn Hayhoe doesn’t do relationships — but for eight thousand dollars a month, she was willing to fake it.

[archandbillwiseguys]

Movie Reviews: “Crazy Rich Asians” and “Juliet, Naked”

Crazy Rich Asians

Arch: I really, really liked this romantic comedy. The cast is so beautiful, and it doesn’t take long for you to realize, “Oh, my goodness – every face is Asian!”

Bill: That was refreshing, but I’m afraid I’m going to be in the minority on this one. I know Crazy Rich Asians is getting raves everywhere, and I found the main characters appealing. But I pretty much detested everyone else in the movie. I mean, I HATED them!  

Arch: The cast was just so, so appealing, though.

Bill: I don’t disagree with you on that – the stars are beautiful to look at — every one of them — and there’s not a weak performance in the lot.

Arch: I especially liked the young woman who played the funny girlfriend, Awkwafina. She gets all the wisecrack lines. And she named herself after a bottled water. She’s the Melissa McCarthy of the movie.

Bill: I thought she was very funny. And she was a revelation to me, because now I think one of my granddaughters has styled herself after Awkwafina.

Arch: She could do worse. I think she’s going to be a big star. This was her breakthrough. The movie is really just a nice, old-fashioned rom-com.  A beautiful American-Chinese woman meets a handsome man from Singapore in New York, and he invites her to his best friend’s wedding in Singapore — and that’s when she discovers that he’s one of the wealthiest bachelors in the world.

Bill: Right – she’s a professor at NYU and he’s, well, it’s not clear if he does anything other than stand there, look handsome, and take his shirt off whenever possible. It should be noted here that the couple, played by Constance Wu and Henry Golding, are breathtakingly beautiful. Like, world-class beautiful.

Arch: Of course, in the age of the Internet there’s no way she wouldn’t know this guy is loaded and from a big wealthy family.  

Bill: Well, she’s a college professor. She’s too smart to use Twitter.

Arch: So, she meets the guy’s mother — who’s played by the great Michelle Yeoh from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I was expecting a riff from Monster-In-Law, that film where Jane Fonda played the mother-in-law from Hell. But what happens is a lot more complex and subtle than that.

Bill: She’s wonderful, and I also liked the subplot about the guy’s sister, who’s dealing with some marital problems and befriends the American girlfriend. That relationship was very sweet.

Arch: So, what’s your problem?

Bill: Well, it’s another one of those movies where the filmmakers lecture us that money isn’t everything — but then every scene pounds home the message that it’s almost everything. The whole film wallows in the obscene excesses of its super-rich characters, these useless people who just seem to be loitering through life, sometimes literally throwing money away. I just can’t enjoy watching that – especially when almost no one in the movie seems to come around to developing any meaningful values. Even the grandmother character, who at first seems to have her head on straight, turns out to be a slave to wealth and status.

Arch: It’s true I didn’t like the way her character made a U-turn that made no real sense.

Bill: I felt like I was watching a grownup version of Richie Rich or Scrooge McDuck. I was expecting the people to dive into a swimming pool filled with gold coins.  For a while it looks like the heroine is going to turn her back on that empty lifestyle, but the “happy ending” entails her finally being embraced by all these truly awful people. I kind of take back what I said about hating all these characters. I really spent most of the movie feeling badly for them. They all seemed so shallow and their lives so empty. I liked the leading couple too much to see them settle for that.

Arch: Well, anyone who has been married and had any kind of dealings with a difficult family, or who comes from one, knows that this couple has a rocky road ahead.

Bill: That’s why there’s gonna be a sequel.

Arch: Well, of course.

Bill:  And they’ll call it My Big Fat Singaporean Wedding.

Arch: The only real criticism I have of this movie is that it’s maybe 15 minutes too long. Still, I think it’s more than just a fun romantic comedy in an exotic setting, filled with beautiful people. There is also a rather deep lesson in the movie about class and how the American way of “do your own thing” is not necessarily a universal sentiment — and is not appreciated in older, more established cultures.

Bill: That’s true – I did feel that I was getting a glimpse into a culture I had never even considered before. I tend to think of Asian culture as trying to catch up to the West, but that’s of course ridiculous on its face. The movie does a nice job of illuminating the point where East and West come to loggerheads: the collective versus rugged individualism.

Juliet, Naked

Bill: This is a movie we both loved.

Arch:  It’s pretty much a perfect romantic comedy. Rose Byrne and Chris O’Dowd play a British couple whose romance has fizzled, and he’s putting all his passion into an online fan site for a washed-up rock star, played by Ethan Hawke. Through a complex series of events, the woman meets up with the object of her boyfriend’s affection, and as they say, sparks begin to fly.

Bill: Besides being very funny, and hitting all the right notes for a rom-com, the film explores many different levels of relationships. There’s the couple, of course, and then there’s the initial online flirtation between the girlfriend and the rock star. But there’s also this really interesting link between the boyfriend and the rock star: First the super fan is awestruck, and then disillusionment sets in.

Arch: It’s a classic lesson of “be careful what you wish for” when it comes to meeting people you admire. But what impressed me most was how, beneath the comic premise, the film explores just how broken each of these characters are. She’s desperate for a meaningful life of some sort, but she’s stuck with this cold fish guy and she works in a dinky little local museum. The boyfriend teaches at a local college, but he has these misguided delusions of grandeur. And the rock star is totally burned out, living basically in a garage behind his ex-wife’s house.  Normally a movie like this would just be a pat love story and the two would get together. But instead it goes to this deeper level of broken lives. There’s a wistfulness to the movie that I really loved.

Bill: Even the end hits a melancholy note. It’s a happy ending, to be sure, but we’re not sure how it’s ultimately going to work out for everyone.

Arch: They left it up in the air, which is good. That’s the way the world is.

Bill: It’s just a very smart film. Every character is appealing, even the Chris O’Dowd character, whose failures mostly come from fumbling, rather than bad intentions. He’s a guy who has put all his emotional eggs absolutely in the wrong basket.

Arch: The film is just delightful. It could have been a retread of You’ve Got Mail, which had Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan meeting “cute” in much the same way, online.

Bill: Still, it’s been 20 years or so and filmmakers have not yet found a compelling way to shoot people chatting online. It’s still a wide shot of someone at their laptop, or on their phone, with a voiceover saying what’s being written.

Arch: There have been many miles of film released showing people typing.

Bill: It’s like in the 1930s, when every film had to show a spinning newspaper montage.

Arch: Ah, the classic newspaper montage! Frank Capra invented that. Brilliant. I guess there’s nothing ever totally new, but I think Juliet, Naked, has a wonderful original quality to it that puts it above the rest.

Bill: Too bad it’s coming out at the same time as Crazy Rich Asians, because I’m afraid it’s going to get lost.

Arch: Yes, it looks like Crazy Rich Asians is this year’s must-see end-of-summer comedy.

Bill: I wish it were Juliet, Naked, because I think it’s a better movie.

Arch: Yeah, I think so, too.