#not only for scary but because IVE BEEN TO THE BARBIE MOVIE TWO TIMES AND HAVE CRIED WHEN THIS SONG COMES ON BOTH TIMES

[ratislatis]

',:) Requests??? HEH. Well there's like ten million in my head but actually Rat since you've already blessed the world with yassified Sparrow, how about some yassified Lark? (I remember you mentioning that Lark is your jewelry model! I'm dying to see him!!!) 💜💜💜

I hope this is what you meant by yassified

pov you get dragged into playing mermaids with your best friend's 5 year old daughter who will not stop talking about fish

(requests are open <;3)

[recordmcqueen]

I’m provoking you to make barbie movie rant. Poke poke *poke you with a stick*

I love you

One of the first barbie movies i watched as a child was nutcracker and it was so terrifying it traumatized me and i cannot rewatch it to this day

Island princess also somewhat confused and disturbed me as a child like "why cant she understand people what" and the whole POISONING ANIMALS thing but i got over it its not terrible lol

When i was 7 i went to a family event sort of thing and they had prizes for the kids and i got to choose between a doll+dvd set of swan lake or princess and the pauper. Iirc i chose swan lake but later swapped because p+p had Two girls on the cover but i eventually went home with swan lake because her dress was pretty. I ended up hating the movie and my friend beheaded the doll (with my encouragement) when i was 12

I hated nori and nalu from mermaida alike growing up because nori was a bitch and at least nalu had that silly carousel of confusion moment but its only very recently that i discovered that norinis actually. Very pretty. Ahem-

BARBIE IN THE 12 DANCING PRINCESSES WHAT CAN I SAY the evil stepmother was terrifying and this movie taught me the word "attire" (gosh for kids movies they sure use a lot of words no one knows) and shine is an absolute Banger and i just love this movie a lot i remember desperately wishing my room had a magical floor opening up to an alternate dimension and imagining what I would use those wishing flowers for

Barbie mariposa was also slightly traumatic cause of the poisoning plot but i really loved the movie otherwise i related to the mc cause bOOKWORM and she was also so pretty aaa i think i had a book from the movie at one point too

DIAMOND CASTLE I GOT THE LIANA DOLL FOR EID AND SHE ONLY SANG ONE NOTE BUT I LOVED HER EVEN THO MY FAVE WAS ALEXA i actually hated the girl in the mirror i cant remember her name now but i found her annoying and out of tune but otherwise man this movie was probably my semi sapphic awakening like WHO WOULDN'T WANNA LIVE IN A COTTAGE WITH THEIR BEST FRIEND LIVING OFF JAM AND BREAD AND BREAD AND JAM FOREVER man ok but the brainwashed betrayal scene was also kind of traumatic at least the ending was happy and so aesthetic omg i need to rematch it tho its been a hot minute

I actually loved christmas carol when i watched it even tho making barbie the antihero was very unexpected it Worked and it was just a great movie tbh we dont talk abt it enough imo

Hmmm thumbelina was kind of a miss for many reasons but when i was about 5 my mom got me a very pretty backpack of it except that also around this time i got a thumbelina book from school except it was based on the 1994 non barbie version so i would always be so confused comparing ginger thumbelina in my book to dazzling barbie thumbelina on my backpack but yk it be like dat sometimes when ur 5 years old

THREE MUSKETEERS IS THE MOST HYPED I EVER WAS TO WATCH A MOVIE i lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere when it came out and had no means of watching it but i aTE the promo materials i got the step into reading books i daydreamed about it cONSTANTLY till one day we finally went to a family friends house who had the dvd and (they warned my sis there might be some scary scenes with the villain) my mom actually caught my reaction on camera im sure ive posted this here before but its so iconic pls

I need to add that these were both part of group photos and i was the only one Not looking at the camera pls

Mermaid tale 1 and 2 were both kinda meh for me i def enjoyed the first one more but it doesnt stand out in my memory as something id really want to rewatch so yk theyre there i watched em :p

I had the fashion fairytale book for ages before i got around to watching the movie and it was? Ok? I guess? I didn't love the modern day premise or the whole subplot with ken and the animation style was pretty jarring so overall kind of a mid movie and book for me :p

A FAIRY SECRET HAD THE BEST BARBIE/RAQUELLE RECONCILIATION ARC LIKE I DONT REMEMBER JACK ABT THE REST OF THE MOVIE EXCEPT THE MEMORY WIPE WHICH PISSED ME OFF BUT THE BARBIE AND RAQUELLE BONDING kept this one higher than fashion fairytale im still obsessed with them upgrading thru the power of friendship and man i really gotta rewatch this one also i did have a stickerbook of it but barbie looked ugly as sht on the cover which made me sad </3

Princess charm school wasnt one i expected to enjoy so much i think the appeal of the custom uniforms got to me and i just had to watch and ykw it was a fun movie with an enjoyable plot twist and nice antagonist redemption arc i love delancy so much man i actually got a doll of her from my friend one birthday and then swapped her back a few days later for 6 smarties snack packs (we all have our regrets amirite :"3) but i would brush her hair every night before bed and mm yeah i like this movie a lot lol it has its cringy bits but i always rewatch and look back on it fondly

I. Watched princess and the popstar. Before princess and the pauper. Im a terrible barbie heathen i know but i did sort of enjoy it quite a bit and i liked To Be a Princess cause id never heard the superiority of the original and yeahhh i wouldnt rewatch it but its a Thing :"3

SPEAKING OF PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD AND FOR WHAT like ok anneliese is kind of in a privileged situation and to compare that to poverty is eH BUT PREMINGER AND THE PLOTS AND THE SONGS AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO PEAK I WISH I GREW UP WITH THIS BUT AT LEAST IVE SEEN IT THREE TIMES NOW and plan to watch again in the future

I dont think ive ever liked the pets in barbie movies and i know bibble from fairytopia is a basebreaking character some ppl adore him some people want him dead im kinda just there lol 😭

[shethephoenix]

I started this blog with the intent that i would post daily about my last 100 days as a Fiance...

well...

hows that going you ask?, well seeing as how this is my first post, and we are 87 days from the #cheerstotheChotias, il leave that to you to figure out.

Truth is i have watched YT video after YT video and followed almost every wedding page their is out there (a little exaggeration never hurt no body), but truth talk.

I haven’t yet found a page that has sparked that Bride feeling inside of me,

.. also because i wasn't the girl that spent her childhood playing with countless barbies ( i had one), i was outside playing with birds and the dogs or running in the street with friends, trying to roller skate out the house on clean maroon shinned floors or watching power rangers, (i was a HUGGGE fan, and yes i was the pink ranger), also, what i wasn’t doing was spending hours with my black barbie and white ken dreaming of wedding days, but when i did play with them it was dress up and seeing if ken could withstand the amount of dirt, water and dog bits that came with playing outside, but you could sometimes catch me dismantling things, and my video game at the time knew all about my destruction to see just how it was possible that super mario could run and jump across my tv. side note: i never found out, because once i took it apart i was shocked that something so simple had so many parts top piece back, so it would end up in a giant kist with everything else that reached it play by date.

i did however treasure two things and that was my doll Chucky (no he didn’t have the crazy face from the movie), he had the biggest smile with a wink and rag doll hair but i wasn’t allowed to take him outside, and the other thing that kept my most precious Tinkerbell “cosmetics” was a brown little suit case, which i dragged everywhere outside the house. So as you can read I just wasn’t about that “little girl, Princess, weddings vibe)

Soooo now that ive given you that little “Hello my name is...” heres something i thought id share, and yes i could put this in my journal but to put pen to paper has been hard lately, as well as opening this page, so i thought what the heck, id go for the one where i can just type to my hearts content and also put some of me out there. (Scary to let people into what you think), but as tears are a healing to the soul, writing is my outlet.

Thing is as with most things in life, nothing just starts on hip hip hooray, as that of a new born being birthed to this world, there is unexplained joy, but so many tears, some good, others bad and some just for not knowing, and yes I've cried my share of tears and in moments i didn't think would be a tear-fest. (and yes, i am a proper softy, so tears are just there waiting to roll).

Recently I stopped mid way watching a Jamie Wolfer vlog on all things wedding of course and something hit me, as much as there are countless books and advice on weddings and marriage there just wasn't a page where i could go an immerse myself in the truth and struggle about a couples life, and yes i get many are trying but we live in an online edited world and as much as people say they posting about their lives, we are only ever given the parts that were good enough to see.

So having discovered that what i was looking for didn't really exist to the extent i wanted, i decided i would blog about my own, and in hopes that it wouldn't just be another blog about someone in the process of getting married, and how i had to go about picking colours and flowers and center pieces, but that this blog would give someone a good truth read about 2 humans that are about to share a title but more so a life that no one has received the “dummies guide” too.

...

the next few paragraphs might offend you, read at your own risk.

...

at 87 days away from saying I Do, one would think that everything is rosy, but what i have come to learn is that nothing is as it seems and getting to do the picking and thinking of wedding things somehow seem to be the best thing because I’d pick that over having to deal with people and thier opinions, even on things that do not concern them, and at other times when you high key just don’t want advice. please don’t get me wrong, i really appreciate help on things that i know nothing about, but stop throwing your intelligence and “ I've lived longer” help on me and then smile like you helped a generation overcome some mental illness.

This process has however taught me to “believe people when they first show you who they really are”, it may be hard to see but it is or was there in your first encounter, so much so that i found myself saying endless times in everything “ if people would just be honest from the jump, things would be so easy”, we as humans take things and complicate the hell out of it, and then we sit there and stress about what next. i am also guilty of this behavior...

but,

of all the pinterest pictures, boards created, dress ideas, shoe height, napkin colour, angle of the chairs, how many to invite and what you would look like on the day, there enters moments that you were never ready for. There is a movie that put the next words so nicely in English, “our Marriage, their wedding”, i never understood the true meaning of those words, until now, yet, no vlog or book can prepare you for the true test.

one of mine that brought me to tears was finding out what is being said about you when you think you have handled a situation to the best of Your ability, only to find out...you dead wrong and that whats to follow is not only in how you react but what happens once you have reacted and the next morning rolls in and you have to find the courage to deal with it, and you sit there and try to be a good human but every ounce of you wants to unleash all the anger you feel, but then you have a little light bulb moment, and wipe your tears, blow your nose, put your hair back in the messy bun it was, and you realize that there is such a thing as the wheel turning, and that one day instead of being the statue, you get a chance to be the bird...

but my problem is:, i was taught to love and respect, and with that comes the part where you grow up and realize that not everyone shares your values, and that is okay because how else would people like me learn or build character if it wasn't for “life lessons”.

so this human makes her already anxiety filled life even more filled by always considering the feelings of others, because i make it a conscious decision to always respect and appreciate people.

but, life,

Because, another thing you don’t get from a “dummies guide” is how to deal with truths, hard truths, real truths, the ones couple don’t post about, the ones that are spoken between the walls and with people who have shared in the experience and are able to give a few helping words.

The one were i learnt, its possible for another human to express their heart so brutality and not consider the feelings of another individual. Cause no counseling session or family meeting will ever teach you how to appropriately deal with such a matter.

Yes sometimes its better to not know the truth cause then you live in your bubble and think that you have done everyone good, but with that said i am not naive cause i know you cant please everyone all the time, even if you try.

In saying so, i have found to have this cry my eyes out moment and then i get distant, sounds harsh but it gives me a chance to see things from all angles and i don’t exclude putting myself in the judgement chair, (cause yes anxiety will make you go to places that were never necessary, but you do anyway) so that if its me i will deal accordingly. (it may not be immediately but i really try)

And so every morning i get up and try to be better then i was cause i was never no exception to any rule, and because i want to be the person that i hope to encounter in my journey, and i really just want to be a better “help meet”, but, you get tested daily and the ones you fail you hope to see another day to correct.

so, may i learn and be open to lessons, and i hope to become the best wife my Husband to be will need.

[ventregardless]

huge mood swing

weird how those have been happening a lot more than usual lately.

im trying to beat my computer about to die. I only have a few things to say, and I cant be fucked to get up and grab the charger from my room only to put it back in there so that I can watch hunter x hunter in the living room before it gets too dark, because frankly im a big scaredy cat pussy that cant do anything remotely required of an adult.

so.

im pretty proud of my shopping habit today. I went in, I assesed properly, I didnt give in to buying stupid shit that I already had, and because of my absolute god tier discernment I managed to only buy one thing!!

one!

very proud. in the grand scheme of things, that doesnt matter all that much, but it was a big deal to me and im excited to get my habits under control.

I dont know whats going on with my feelings lately.

I dont feel my best but I don’t feel my worst. some days are better than others. I can feel really good one moment but then the next I get smacked with a huge let down that brings my entire mood down to shit despite it not being a big deal at all.

I am realizing now that I probably really need to get my charger because I have a lot more to say than I figured and I kinda dont want to risk fucking up my flow.

brb.

I am back.

I supposed its a good thing I went to get up because I was able to put my zara bag back in the guest bedroom/second closet room.

Okay, in the super grand scheme of things, spending a solid $500 dollarinos on a bunch of clothes is probably not the best step in the right direction. BUT! To justify it, I really went on that wild bender because I have transitioning. It’s a big transition, a very big girl transition into adulthood. I have an aesthetic I want to keep up, and frankly, Miss Kelly Stamps has taught me that wanting to keep up with an aesthetic takes fucking work, so I sought out to put that god damn work in and I did. That was a very privileged sentence; putting in work towards my closet as if that’s the biggest thing I could be doing with my time. But honestly, I’m working towards an overhaul of like... everything. It’s not terribly torturous, at least not to me, (I just glanced outside and I’m noticing that I’m losing sunlight, but I really want to watch more hunter x hunter, but im scared to do that at night because im on that chimera arc, and I find it very dark and scary. So perhaps I should stop wasting time and wrap up my thoughts, but I have so many that idk how im going to do it)

Anyway, yeah, at least not to me.

It’s not that I don’t want to be myself. It’s that I’ve felt so trapped by an old self for so long, and a new self is ready to emerge that I really like, but she needs work to come out. And its ugly work, it is.

She’s trapped in here and I’m working to get her out.

Now, I’ve been slacking the last few weeks. Thankfully not to the point of no return, but enough to where I’ve really been feeling like garbage about it. So I’m starting again, and I’m pretty sure I can do it better this time. I had a wonderful start (not sure what it is with me and new weeks, I feel like fresh starts are best launched at the beginning of new weeks) but I did well. Made some returns, picked up my glasses, exercised some habits I want to curate, I’m doing a good job. 

I’m hopeful to not have much errands to run after wrapping all of this up the next coming week. I say hopeful because honestly, I say that every week, and it doesn’t get any better because I’m an idiot. I know this.

But I feel this new change in my bones!! Can you believe it. Bones!

Few things I still want: Solid pairs of trousers (camel and black) Levi’s ribcage jeans/everlane cheeky jeans (black and classic blue) and heeled mary janes with a strap or some other black, square toed heel.

that’s a solid five more things I want in my arsenal that I can argue I need! But I cant order four of them until I get more other issue sorted out. Then will come winter, and I’ll have to replace my sweaters because I should look much different by then, and they will no longer due. Luckily, I have plenty of cardigans to buffer the issue, and thankfully the coats I boat were in mediums so I can get away with them, I believe. I’m imagining purchasing no more than like, four additional sweaters. Maybe even two, if I’m being as strict as I should be.

But that shopping will be spread throughout the year. Hopefully by september I will be where I want, if these habits I develop end up bending to my will.

I really want to stop being scared of little things eventually. But I need the fear so that I can do things. I need to be limited now so I’m not as much later, and I’ll have good habits to balance out any cravings I may have so that indulgence doesn’t lead to weighted regret.

I want to come up with a name for this idealism. I’ve bought six books this week, I want to read them... and I will. I want reading to be a habit. I want staying inside to be a habit. I want skirts and dresses and heels to be a habit. I want yoga and light work to be a habit. I want a lot of things.

I’m a little worried about my connection to Kelly. I want to be like her a lot. I think her philosophy is very cool, I rewatch the same videos multiple times over the course of a few days because I just like what she says. I like how smart she is and how sure she is of things. The discipline she has is very cool, and I want to get on a similar level soon. Not her extreme methods, per say, but a similar mentality because it’s fun to mimic and very much resonates with me.

She’s really cool.

I kinda want to be cool like that.

Things Ive learned:

This crochet and I are not friends. I miss my twists and my braids to my ass. But you see, I am not going anywhere, so investing in braids to my ass at this time would be incredibly stupid and hard on the neck for no good reason.

For someone who loves books so much, reading them is quite the hassle. How awful of me to buy so many but hardly read one?!

Slightly obsessed with my closet... unsure if in a good way... I’ll have to sit down with myself and inquire if we have a problem, which I think we might, and then go from there on how to get it under control.

Speaking of closets! I still think mine could be paired down some more. Though I went through it yesterday and happily got rid of things I don’t like nor fit, I still feel like I restrained on a lot of things. I’ll have to give that another go and be harder on myself and my items.

I like minimalism a lot. I want to read more about it and find more youtubers that talk about it. It interests me a lot, not because I want to be one exactly but I want to share their sentiments and teachings. It sits very well with me and my soul. I like that feeling.

Hair being short is a no go. I don’t care what itch I gain; never again. that’s dead, if you will. Though I don’t fully regret doing this cut, because I needed to scratch the itch to learn what I didn’t like. I saw what I look like and thats that!

I get full fast. Gotta slow down the habit of stuffing my face just because I can. You know. Eat when hungry, or whatever. How do people eat three times a day? Or more? I can’t even think about it without feeling full.

I like tea. I should drink it way more often.

I need to read more as well.

Anyway, some goals before I wrap this up:

I hope to hear back from crown and remodel soon. I would really like to take on either of those projects because it’s what I want. I love those spaces and I’m hopeful to aid in their curation.

Hopeful that this cut will get into full affect by mid july. It was a bit hasty of me to start it up at the beginning knowing that all of my items hadn’t arrived yet, so returns still need to be made as well as assessments.

Fill out that damned application (BH)

Watch some barbie/princess/disney movies cause you like that shit.

Read something! What is your deal! You have fics and books to devour why are you like this!

Anyway, I think I’m on the right track. I’m trying and it feels like it’s working sometimes but other times it doesn’t. It is working though, in ways. It’s okay that I don’t always feel like it... but it is.

This is going well!