#not really happy with this at all but i'm posting it anyway because practice wheeeeeee

[chaoticgouda]

26. “okay so, can you like stop checking me out?”

   "well, if i can, i would. but nope, i can’t, sorry.“

For Comichi djdbdjs

Uhhhhhh DRABBLE ATTACK [flings this at you and bolts over the horizon]

[Word count: 754]

You were at your fucking limit.

The proverbial last straw had already been bent, mangled, rendered useless by whatever awful malicious hands of fate had decided to mess with you today.

The floorboards were threatening to splinter into a multitude of shards from the sheer force of your hoof as it drove into the wood, tapping an irritated pattern that only hastened every time you felt that smirk settling on your skin again. Their gaze itched like a cheaply-woven tunic, making your every hair bristle to attention.

You folded your arms snugly against your chest, ears pressed flat against your head as your nose sent out a small ripple of wrinkles. Two notes drifted teasingly into the air, whistled with such an air of smugness that you could just see the irritating smirk, even when you screwed your eyes in a vain attempt to shut them out.

"What." It was more of a snarl than a question, though your own nature betrayed any attempts to be intimidating. What was intended to be a threatening growl sounded far closer to a self-pitying bleat.

"What?" Comedee's tone was painstakingly innocent. Their voice was as light and floating as their own feet, hovering a few inches off of the ground. "Something got your horns in a twist, trinket? I'm just whistling, is that such a crime?"

"Whistling??" You whirled around to glower at them, a hand slotted firmly on either hip. "That wasn't- You're blatantly looking me up and down like I'm- Like I'm a slab of meat on the butcher's slab! It's demeaning, it's unnerving, and above all it's... Well." Brain floundering for a moment to come up with the perfect conclusion, you stammered out a weak  "Distracting."

You realised your mistake before the first glint of smug delight had time to bloom in their eyes.

"Distracting, you say? And what is it that you find so terribly distracting about my attention? Is there something you'd like to admit to the audience, Chime?"

The genie spread both of their hands out in a dramatic sweep, as if gesturing to this invisible audience. You could feel your eyes rolling in your skull even as the embarrassed blush took root in either cheek, spreading out until all of your face felt aflame.

It only served to encourage them more. Displaying weakness or embarrassment in front of Comedee was like passing a pinata and a stick to a kid who was hopped up on sugar at their birthday party - They would keep beating at your weak point until you burst, no matter how long it took or how much you protested.

Only with anger. Or humiliation.

Instead of candy.

And you were distracting yourself with metaphors as a way to escape the situation, again. Comedee had briefly paused their most recent monologue, the slow smirk on their half-covered lips indicating that they were fully aware of it too. Pan, you hated how adept they were at reading your expressions. It made you feel less like an open book, and more like a speech that was ready to be crowed out in the town square. Humiliating.

Sensing that your focus was back on them again, they swiftly continued where they had left off.

"Oh my, are you accusing me of some terrible crime? Is it truly so cruel to whistle, whilst committing the grievous sin of looking directly at someone? Is that the crime you're charging me with, trinket? Shall I be hung, drawn and quartered for daring to perform, as is my right and responsibility as the most perfect patron of the arts? Am I destined to b-"

"I just want you to STOP checking me out!"

"Oh, is that it? Well, if I can, I would. But nope, i can’t, sorry."

They shifted almost lazily until they were laying on their front, chin propped on both of their hands as they floated before you. Their head tilted to one side, lips stretching into a darkly curved grin as they watched you furrow your brow, then frown, then frustratedly stamp your hoof once more.

"Seriously?? It's not even that entertaining, you're stuck with me every day! Surely it's gotten boring, staring at the same person every da-"

Your sentence broke off as a finger booped your nose, causing you to snort in surprise and reel back from them. Blinking quickly, meeting their eyes, you felt your stomach flip as they flashed a saccharine-sweet smile at you.

"With reactions like that? How could I ever grow bored of playing with my most  prized possession?"