#not sorry for griefposting on my silly little fandom blog but i hope if it hits anyone at all its in the de-isolating way

[televisionforwhales]

Last year I lost a loved one to su*cide and another to c*ncer and I'm so so careful when I speak of them because I don't want to hurt anyone more than they're already hurting. I know (I know!!!) why the words themselves set people off. I'm subjected to ads about c*ncer drugs and depression treatments everyday and I can hardly stomach it I want to cower under my bed until it's over but it's never over. And tiptoeing around their causes of death makes grief even more isolating. I NEED to talk about how our brains and bodies can turn against us and how quickly our energy sharpens and aims inward and the threats born within remissions and how the tendrils of those particular poisons stretch out after the people die and we have to bop around with bodies and brains and bear it and keep bearing it